Shooting Straight, Part 3—Letter Links: "Hands Off" Shepherding

The Two Pillars of Shepherding

(ML #3067:1-48, Lifelines 23.)

1. (Mama:) In the year and a half that our Love Charter has been in effect, there have been numerous advances made in many areas‚ such as witnessing, pioneering new countries and new ministries, the doubling of the number of Homes, much more freedom of movement and many other positive advancements. It's been wonderful to see the amount of change that has occurred in just a little over one year!

2. Of course, not all the change has been positive. Problems have arisen, which we are trying to rectify or find solutions to, such as making sure that all of our children are receiving a proper education, meeting the needs of our single moms and large families‚ helping the Homes to do better financially, teaching people to be more loving with one another, etc. These are all matters that we are praying about and will continue working on.

3. As I have mentioned before‚ I hear numerous reports each month, including many of the suggestions and comments which are sent in via your TRFs. I also receive a great deal of personal mail from Family members of all ages in which they share their hearts about their needs, problems and aspirations. Hearing from you helps me to better understand how you feel about things, to recognize your needs and to grasp your problems, which I can then counsel about with Peter and my teamworkers and other Family leadership‚ as well as bring before the Lord in prayer, asking Him for solutions that will change things for the better throughout the whole Family.

4. In hearing all of this material over the last year and in praying about the things you've shared with me, it has become evident that one of the main problems that affects the greatest number of Homes is the lack of proper shepherding at the Home level. It seems that since the beginning of the Charter, many, if not most, of the Home teamworks have been quite hesitant to spiritually shepherd those in their Homes.

5. This is somewhat understandable, since before the Charter so many were over-shepherded and not able to do much of anything without waiting on or having permission from their shepherds. Once the Charter went into effect, most of you wanted to toss off the shackles of over-restrictive shepherding in order to be free to make your own decisions and find your own level of service.—And I'm glad you did! I wanted you to get out there and do the job unhindered and unrestricted! It's borne wonderful fruit and I'm happy we made the changes.

6. But, as was addressed in the "Help from Heaven" GN (GN 686, ML #3056), I have been quite concerned to see that many of you seem to have the mistaken impression that the Charter doesn't allow for any spiritual shepherding. It seems that many of you have either misinterpreted the Charter or have not read or studied it, except, of course, for the parts that outline your rights, which I understand most of you know quite well. Somehow the parts which deal with shepherding seem to be overlooked.

7. Some Home teamworks are not spiritually shepherding the Homes because apparently they don't think they're supposed to any more. They think that according to the Charter everyone has free choice, so they shouldn't correct anyone or help them overcome their problems. Some seem to think that if they point out a problem area in someone's life that they are contravening the Charter. It seems that some Home members feel the same way.

8. Just because we have tried to set you free to follow the Lord more according to your own faith doesn't mean that you shouldn't accept shepherding and that the teamwork should not do any shepherding. In fact, it is stated very clearly in the Charter that teamworks are supposed to shepherd. I'll list a few points from the Charter to show you what I mean:

9. "The voting members of a Home elect the Home teamwork with the understanding that the teamwork is commissioned to manage and spiritually shepherd the Home within the authorized boundaries of this Charter" (Responsibilities of Individual Members‚ 1.O, pg.8).

10. You see, that quite clearly states that teamworks are supposed to spiritually shepherd. Following is another quote which tells us what all Family leaders, including Home teamworks, are obligated to do:

11. "All Family Officers are obligated to: Endeavor to carry out the duties of their office in a loving, prayerful and competent manner, and to the best of their ability‚ properly and lovingly shepherd those whom they are responsible for. Encourage individuals and Homes to live in accordance with the 'Charter of Responsibilities and Rights' and the 'Fundamental Family Rules,’ and to impose appropriate and proper disciplinary action if they do not. Endeavor to answer questions and give counsel on how to solve problems by directing the inquirer to the appropriate Bible passages or WS publications that offer guidance and counsel on the matter; when needed, offer prayerful, Word-based advice" (Obligations of all Family Officers, 23A,C,D‚ pg.78).

12. That sounds like spiritual shepherding to me! Doesn't it to you? Here are some quotes that speak specifically about the Home teamwork:

13. "The Home Officers are responsible to manage‚ care for and shepherd the Home and its members, physically, spiritually and organizationally. Lovingly and faithfully correct and discipline individuals who fail to fulfill, or who violate or contravene the Responsibilities of Individual Members, or the 'Fundamental Family Rules,' and any agreed-upon Home Regulations, in a manner appropriate and proportionate to the offense.

14. "The Home teamwork is responsible to shepherd the Home and to do all they can to ensure the Home members are happy, well cared-for and loved. … Home members are expected to respect and cooperate with the Home teamwork. They must also obey the teamwork in the matters that the teamwork has been given the authority over, either by the Charter or by the Home. Please do all you can to help uphold your teamwork, as you have chosen them as your Home shepherds" (Responsibilities and Authority of Home Officers, 27B,C, pg. 89).

15. So as you can see, the Charter is quite clear about the need for shepherding. I've only quoted parts of the Charter here; I recommend that all of you read and study your Charter on this subject. Perhaps you can make a Home project of it.

16. I have been quite burdened about this, and have addressed it various times in recent GNs. Peter and I brought this subject before the Lord, and He and Dad gave further counsel on this matter, which I think you'll find very helpful and encouraging. Following is my prayer and the Lord's and Dad's answers.

The Two Pillars of Shepherding—Love and the Word!

17. (Mama prays:) Lord‚ You know what further counsel the Family needs in the way of shepherding. You know the problems that they're having with shepherding. You know the reasons why they're not shepherding, and You have the answers for all these things.

18. We can't just leave our Homes shepherdless and not require anything of them in a spiritual way. Help us‚ Jesus. Show us the answers. Show us what more we should tell the Family. We know they've appreciated it when we've clarified that we still need shepherding. They seem to appreciate that we recently highlighted the need for them to shepherd their flocks and not just let them run wild. Some said it was almost a revelation to some of them.

19. Please help them to get the right balance—to not come down hard and heavy like they used to, but to not just totally disregard their responsibilities and completely abdicate them either. Give them the right balance, show them how to do the right thing.

20. (Prophecy‚ Jesus speaking:) The pendulum swings from one side to the other, but it must find its proper place in the center, with not such wide and extreme swings from the right to the left. The pendulum has swung from the extreme right to the extreme left, and now it must come back towards the center.

21. My children have now seen that that which is at the extreme is not the most beneficial. They have had extreme shepherding, where they were so boxed in and were not able to do anything without permission; and now they have felt the opposite extreme, of being able to do everything with no one to watch over them, no one to shepherd them, no one to care for them, and they find that this is not satisfying. There needs to be a fine balance, there needs to be the hand of a shepherd leading and guiding and caring for the sheep.

22. What does a shepherd do? He cares for the sheep. He gently leads them, but he lets them graze and find their own grass and meander over the hills. There are times when he calls them together and when he protects them, but there are times when he lets them roam within the pasture. My children must learn to shepherd properly. Shepherding does not mean keeping all the sheep penned up tightly, crowded together. But neither is it letting them roam everywhere‚ all the time, with no protection and care.

23. My sheep do not want to be penned up. They do not want to be regimented. They do not want to be bound. They want to be free to serve Me, free to follow Me. But they have need of proper shepherding—shepherding that helps them maintain their health. For does not the shepherd shear the sheep? Does he not trim their hooves and bob their tails? Does he not make sure they are eating properly and that they are brought into good pasture? Does not the shepherd protect them from the attacks of the wild beasts? Do not My children need that kind of shepherding?

24. They have rebelled against the harsh shepherds, the shepherds that kept them penned in tightly and would not let them move. In their rebellion, they have pushed off all shepherding, but I say they need proper shepherding. They need shepherding of the Spirit, shepherding of love, shepherding of care, shepherding of loving discipline. When one sheep begins to lead the other sheep astray, the shepherd must discipline that sheep, lest there be great damage and harm in their being led astray.

25. Sheep need shepherds. Have I not called you the sheep of My pasture? Am I not the Chief Shepherd? Have I not appointed unto you shepherds to care for you? Have I not said they must watch for your souls? Have I not said to you shepherds that you are not to act as lords over God's heritage?

26. Sheep, love your shepherds. Shepherds, love your sheep. Work together in harmony. Have I not said that when one is overtaken with a fault‚ that you who are spiritual should care for them in a spirit of meekness? Have I not laid down My rules of discipline? Have I not said that if one is overtaken with a fault‚ you should speak with him?

27. You must shepherd in the Spirit and not in the flesh. You must shepherd their souls. You must show them those areas in which they are falling away. You must show them through love and through My Word and through example. For I wish My flock to be shepherded by loving shepherds, wise shepherds, shepherds who shepherd in the Spirit. If your shepherding is shepherding in the flesh, without love and without care, if you only push and shove, if you only demand, your sheep will not follow. But if you will lovingly shepherd, if you will shepherd in the Spirit‚ if you will shepherd by love so that all that you do is in love, they will follow.

28. But you sheep must remember that love takes on many forms. Love can be gentle, love can be loving, love can be caressing. Love can be correcting, love can be disciplining, but even so, it will be loving. Even so must it be done with love and with patience, with long-suffering‚ with meekness and with gentleness.

29. But the sheep who will not receive the love and the gentleness must receive the discipline, the correction. For the wayward sheep, who after much cajoling continues to lead others astray in waywardness, must be disciplined‚ must be corrected, and must be brought back into the fold. If it will not, this is the sheep that the shepherd will sell and will be rid of‚ so that it will not lead others astray.

30. How are you shepherded? You are shepherded through My Word, for I have given you an abundance of guidance and direction so that you shall know what is right and what is wrong, what is allowable and what is not, what is of the Spirit and what is not, what is of God and what is not. I have given you the Charter that has set the boundaries, so that all will know and all will be judged fairly by the same standard. By this you shall know that which is right and that which is unacceptable‚ that which will keep you, the sheep of My pasture, and that which will not.

31. I shepherd you through My voice and through conviction and through speaking to your heart, through the experiences you have, the problems you face. These are all the shepherding of My hand. I also shepherd you through your shepherds, those who are there, who see you day by day, who pray for you, who weep for you, who are concerned about you and who wish to give you counsel and guidance and help to keep you moving forward in the right path.

32. Do not reject any of this shepherding, whether it be from My Word, whether it be from the Charter, whether it be from My voice, or whether it be from the shepherds who are there with you. All of them are needed‚ all of them are necessary, and none of them can be neglected. For he that neglects shepherding, he that will not receive shepherding, is he that will be led astray.

33. But you shepherds must shepherd in the Spirit with great love, for your sheep will not follow you because of your hardness and because of your demanding. They will follow you because of your love and your care for them. So love and care. If you care as one cares for his child, you will show love‚ you will give instruction, you will correct in love, you will help supply their needs‚ and you will help them to grow in the proper way. You will feed them with the Words of God, you will feed them with the Words of David, and you will uphold these Words in your own life as an ensample unto them. For the good shepherd goes before his sheep. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The good shepherd loves his sheep.

34. Be not as an hireling, one who cares not for the sheep but cares only for yourself, only for your power, only for your control. That is not shepherding, that is fleecing!—Fleecing in the flesh‚ fleecing in the spirit.

35. Love your sheep. Love those that I have put in your care. Care for them and love them. Listen to them. Live with them. Be one with them. Have compassion upon them and care for them, as I care for you. For that is true shepherding, that is shepherding in the Spirit.

36. Are you a true shepherd? Then love My sheep. Are you a true sheep? Then love your shepherds. Lovest thou Me? Feed My sheep. Lovest thou Me? Follow your shepherds. Lovest thou Me? Together follow Me, your Chief Shepherd‚ and I will lead you to green pastures, to pure, still waters‚ that you may benefit, that you may grow and that you may be strengthened. (End of prophecy.)

37. (Prophecy‚ Dad speaking:) There was one thing I could never stand, and that was the shepherds taking advantage of the sheep‚ not really loving and caring for them, but using them for their own ends.

38. That's why I called for the RNR, because the sheep were being hurt by the shepherds. So I set everyone free! But that had its problems too. You can see that now as well with the Charter. You can see that total control has its problems and that total freedom has its problems. They're just different problems.

39. It's like I said about the Spirit: Some people are afraid of wildfire, so they have no fire. Some people try to so completely control the fire that it's quenched, and things become cold and lifeless. But the wildfire that has no control also does damage. So you must find the balance in the center, so that there is fire, but it is controlled enough that it does not burn down the house and burn down the fields.

40. This is how it is with shepherding. You cannot shepherd so tightly that everyone is bound and no one is free and no one can follow the Lord. But if you have no shepherding‚ if you allow only wildfire, it will hurt and it will destroy. It will burn others. You have to find the proper balance, folks!

41. There has to be some shepherding, but it has to be the right kind of shepherding. You shepherds must have conviction to do that which is right. You must uphold the standard, the Word—not a false standard, but the standard of the Word, the standard laid out in the Charter, the standard of love, based on the Word of God. People will respect you if you stand for the Word and if you show them love.

42. These are the pillars of shepherding: keeping the standard of the Word of God, and showing love. Both of these must be there for the proper balance, to uphold the Family, to uphold your Home, for one without the other is not enough. If the pillar of love is not standing, and only the pillar of the standard of the Word is, then people become self-righteous and critical and follow the letter of the law. But if only the pillar of love is standing, then the conviction to follow the Word is weakened and no one wants to stand strong‚ for they fear that they will be seen to be unloving.

43. Without the pillar of the standard of the Word of God, the love will have no backbone. The love will ooze out, but it will be weak and will not be able to uphold the Home, for there is no standard and it is not standing in conjunction with the Word. The pillar of the Word alone becomes too strong and hard, but the pillar of love alone becomes too weak, too soft. But together, they are a perfect balance.

44. So it is with good shepherding; it needs both. There has to be the strength of the Word, the strength of the strong pillar, but it must be tempered with the love and the tenderness of the pillar of love. Like a father and a mother—the father having the strength and the stamina, and the mother having the love and the compassion—together they make good parents who raise good children. So is it with shepherding. It needs both, and one cannot do without the other, for they balance it together.

45. You have swung from the one side, from the pillar of the standard of the Word, way to the other side, to just the pillar of love. But you need to come back to the middle where both pillars will work together, and together will be the perfect balance.

46. So have conviction, folks! I always had conviction. I always stood up for what was right, but I also had love. I had them together.—And you must have them together. This doesn't only go for you shepherds‚ but also for you sheep. You too must have the conviction of the Word, and you must use the power of love. You must have them both. You must not demand of your shepherds that they only ooze out love all over you, but that they also stand strong with the conviction of the Word. You know in your heart that you need both! You know in your heart that you crave both! But you need the proper balance, and you shepherds must supply the proper balance.

47. The Charter is there to protect from the extremes, but you must use that which is given to you, the pillar of the standard of God's Word, the strength of that pillar‚ as well as the pillar of love, the pillar of warmth and fire. These two must be blended together.

48. Each one of you, each member‚ each disciple, each lover of God, must have a proper balance in your life, the balance of love and of the standard of the Word, together as one, if you wish to find real happiness, real strength in spirit. For this will give you the proper balance. In this proper balance you will find peace and contentment, you will find faith, you will find the happiness and the freedom and the warmth and the fire, all that you need, without the extremes. (End of prophecy.)

Communication in Marriage and Other Relationships

(ML #3196:89-132, 148–168, GN 800.)

The Importance of Shepherding in Marriage and Other Love Relationships

89. (Mama:) The following messages go into detail about how shepherding and opening up your hearts to others outside your marriage can also help your love and your marriage to grow.

90. Although this concept seems contrary to the thought of a personal‚ private, intimate relationship between the two of you, the Lord and Dad explain how bringing in a third party as a counselor can make your bond of love deeper and give your marriage many benefits that you couldn't have otherwise. So read on! We hope you will find these prophecies a blessing.

91. (Dad speaking:) If I could get anything across to you newlyweds, young couples and folks who are finding yourselves in relationships, it would be the importance of going to your shepherds for counsel! This is the Lord's Own setup, folks! He's set this plan in place Himself. He's given you earthly shepherds for your advantage, to provide the help and counsel you need so you can get ahead. So use it!

92. Watch out about the worldly way of doing things today. Don't let it creep in and get ahold of you! You know what the trend is in the world today, especially among the youth?—To want to keep things secret, to keep things in. Those poor young folks in the System—I feel sorry for them! You can hardly blame some of them, really.

93. Because of the problems of society and the mess that the world has gotten itself into, the situation is such that many of these poor kids just don't have anyone to go to. They're so alone. Their parents are too busy to take the time to listen to them. They're not available most of the time anyway because they're too busy working like slaves in order to keep up with the bills and to make ends meet! Besides‚ they don't really have the answers. Their own marriages don't do well and are full of problems that they don't know how to solve, They don't have the insight that's needed to help their kids‚ and they are so concerned with their own difficulties that they wouldn't know where to start in helping their children.

94. Then when the kids go to school, often their teachers aren't available either. Teachers [and counselors] in System schools—well, that's another story of its own! In some cases there aren't enough to go around. In other cases they aren't really qualified to be of much help to the kids. They hardly know what to tell the kids themselves‚ because out there in the world they've gotten away from the truth and the light. So more often than not it's a case of the blind leading the blind!

95. It's a vicious cycle out there in the cold, hard world! So most of the time the poor kids don't even try to speak up, to get counsel, and to pour out their hearts. Even the ones who do have someone they could talk to live in fear of the consequences that, if they did speak up and really share what was on their hearts‚ they might be pooh-poohed or booed down, or worse yet, they might get the boot in some way. There's not a lot of freedom out there in the world.

96. What set of parents in the System would even encourage their young folks to have a serious relationship to begin with? Ha! Well, certainly not at the age that you folks in the Family have the freedom to branch out in this. It's not looked on kindly at all in the System, where you have to fit into their mold, and you're not taught the true values in life, or how to live in love and enjoy the real freedoms of the Spirit that we have here in the Family!

97. In the world nowadays they say you've gotta work hard, go to school, graduate from university, then take your time working away in the System, establishing yourself in a career for a good amount of time before you can even begin to seriously consider having a permanent relationship with someone! In some cases, folks might be pushing 30 before they're able to even seriously begin thinking about it!

98. They have dating in the System, but that doesn't really do much to prepare you for married life or even give you much intimate knowledge of what your partner is like. You may hang around some together and do things together, but you don't really get down to the serious business of life. Mostly it's just fun and games. This doesn't teach responsibility and doesn't prepare folks for taking care of each other, having babies, and seeing each other through thick and thin.

99. We want our young folks to reach out and love each other‚ to share and communicate, to get close to each other! In our society, getting together and loving each other is a blessing! Having babies is a blessing! We look forward to it! We count it a blessing! We're not trying to discourage you and shut you up and force you into a situation where you have to hide and live in shame if the Lord is leading you to enter a relationship and open your lives to others!

100. God's ways are not man's ways, beloved! His ways are completely contrary to the ways of man. Let me tell you, unlike the world—where more often than not young folks are compelled by the conditions of society to be private, secretive, and to hold things in—we're encouraging you to be open and honest, and to communicate‚ because this is the way God intended it to be!

101. Being secretive and totally private in your relationships is a worldly concept! It's not the Lord's plan! It's against His Own structure of how He intended for things to be. The Lord intended for you to be open and honest and to communicate. It's the Devil's plan to be closed, secretive, private, and to hide things away in a dark corner.

102. The Devil himself has created all this secretive business, because he knows it's the door by which he can get in and do his work. Remember? I've told you this time and again, but I'm gonna repeat, repeat, repeat it here one more time! The Devil works in dark corners!

103. He knows that if he can get couples to be closed and shy away from shepherding, then they'll not be able to get the help they need. They won't get the advice they need‚ and the counsel and tips they need in order to have a good, rewarding, fulfilling, fun and happy union. And most importantly, they won't get the prayer that they need.

104. In unity there's strength‚ folks—in unity with your mates, with your brethren, and with your shepherds! How on earth do you expect to have strong unity if you're not opening up, counseling, and sharing your heart in all openness and honesty with those who can help you?

105. If you're in unity with your shepherds, as you go to them and get the counsel that you need, you'll be able to benefit and grow in your relationship and in unity. Your relationship will be strengthened in the long run when you benefit from all the wisdom, counsel and prayers of your shepherds! That's what they're there for!

Why Be Open About Your Relationship?

106. I know many of you are tempted to think, "Come on, Dad, this is private. I mean, it's a relationship. It's really nobody's business but ours." Well, folks, I'm not talking here about broadcasting all the ins and outs of your relationship to the world. I'm talking about getting good Godly counsel and advice from those who care for you, and prayer that will really help you and be a strength to you as you learn and grow in these areas of your life.

107. I'm talking here about wanting shepherding, because this is God's plan. This is the way He Himself set things up and intended for us to live. It's all a part of His plan to teach you, train you, and help you to grow into the role that He wants you to fulfill.

108. In the old days, families stuck together; they lived together. Parents helped their children, and when the children were old enough to get married, they still lived together (or at least in very close proximity)‚ because the parents continued to help the young new couples get established. And the grandparents were around too! As elders of the family, they continued to help their children and grandchildren and great–grandchildren.

109. There's a lot to be said for the system of elders. It's the wisdom of the sages! Sometimes you could trace one family down to the third and fourth generation in one lifetime all living and working together and sticking together, because this is how God intended for it to be. He intended for families to have strong bonds and to stick together. And do you know why that is? Because the Lord knew this is how the younger generations would be able to benefit from the shepherding of their elders. The Lord made it that way for several reasons!

110. The System really has things turned around. Nowadays they preach that you're too young to get pregnant and have a family in your teen years, that you're not responsible enough, haven't lived enough and learned enough and so on. And they're right—most System teens aren't, and guess whose fault it is?—Their parents! It's because they're not willing to do their part to teach and train those young people through those times, to be right there by their sides teaching and training them through their relationships. They're not only unwilling to do it in the future, they haven't done it in the past when the kids were growing up‚ and most of those poor kids haven't received much in the area of shepherding for years.

111. The System is missing the whole point because of their selfishness. If they would allow young folks to grow the way God intended‚ and if the older folks would fulfill their roles as good parents and shepherds, the young people would learn and grow to be responsible, having their elders available for counsel as they go along. Oh, the world is in such a mess, all because they're not willing to live the way God intended for them to live!

112. God intended for you young folks to get shepherding as you enter into new relationships! This is the way God intended for it to be because He knew the value of counsel, and He knows you need it! We all need it!

113. Well, thank the Lord we have one big Family, and we have a structure where this is possible. Even if for one reason or another you young people aren't living in close proximity to your flesh parents, you have plenty of parents in the Lord, shepherds who are available, ready and willing to help and counsel you all you need. Right now, as you young people are getting more and more into branching out with personal relationships‚ and as we learn and grow and strive to put the Law of Love into practice in our everyday lives, it's important that you reach out to your shepherds for counsel and advice. In fact‚ many of you FGAs will find it helpful too.

Defeating the Enemy Through Shepherding!

114. As some of you are already experiencing, every relationship has its share of rough spots! That's just the way it is! It's not because there's anything wrong with you, and not necessarily because there's anything wrong with the relationship. One of the main reasons is simply because, as in all things, the Enemy is out to get you!

115. You're the "live ones," folks! And he's always on the lookout for a way to enter in and cause you trouble! He knows that when you unite with another, two can put ten thousand to flight. Believe me, he shakes in his boots at the very thought of that! So of course he's gonna try all he can to cause you to stumble! The Devil knows that as you grow and make commitments of love to each other, he's gonna have a mighty powerful force aimed against him! So he'll try to fight you.

116. But although the Enemy is out to cause you problems, the Lord also has provided you with shepherds who can help you, so you can head him off at the pass! You do this by being open and honest with your shepherds, by homing in on their wealth of counsel and advice, and uniting with them in prayer power when necessary.

117. Shepherds are the shortcut, folks! Why suffer in silence when you can find relief? Why walk around in a muddle and confusion when sweet relief is at your fingertips? God is a wise investor, and He's invested plenty in your shepherds—so take advantage of it!

118. You need it, you'll be better for it, and you'll have lots more fun along the way! Because you're gonna find out that you'll grow quicker that way. Your relationship will grow fuller that way because you'll be able to take full advantage of their experience! If you really want to learn, if you really want to grow and be able to benefit from all that the Lord has for you, you're gonna have to be open and honest with your shepherds in order to get the help you need.

119. I know that affairs of the heart can be very sensitive‚ but remember, your parents and shepherds are ordained of God to care for your souls! In the early days when your parents were learning, I had to shepherd them and counsel them plenty regarding their relationships! My goodness, Mama and I have written about love‚ sex, marriage and relationships in loads of older Letters—there's lots of wise counsel on relationships. I think if you'll ask any of the older folks who were around during that era, they'll tell you how much it helped them.

120. If you want to grow, you need to learn the value of shepherding and avail yourselves of it! Use it and benefit from it! Get counsel, get help, get prayer, be honest and open, and you'll save yourselves a lot of trouble and maybe even heartache in the long run! Wise up! Use the shortcut! The Lord put shepherds in place for a reason—to care for your souls! And not only that, but the Lord put'm there to make it easy on you!

Even the System Uses Shepherding

121. Even in the world today they promote shepherding, because it's the inborn nature of man to need this help. In the world, because so many fail to fill this role‚ such as parents and teachers, they're finding a need to put in place their own type of "shepherds." They call them guidance counselors, marriage counselors‚ psychoanalysts, psychiatrists, doctors of this and that.

122. These are all shepherds in their own right—worldly shepherds—and sad to say, more often than not, misguided ones, blind leaders of the blind, because they've gotten off the one true Center—Jesus! So many of these worldly shepherds are leading the masses astray. Nevertheless, the need for shepherding is there, because God created man to need a shepherd. When it comes to relationships, the System's got oodles of marriage counselors, guidance counselors‚ how-to books and manuals and whatnot!

123. But we in the Family have the true shepherds, those who care for your souls! And most of all, those who have the wisdom of God‚ who will unite with you to help you and love you, so that together you can find God's solutions.

124. Where else will you find such loving shepherds and parents in the Lord who are willing to love you, to understand you and your needs, who are willing to listen and to communicate, and who are humble enough to share their own experiences and mistakes so you can learn from them? They're willing to share their own discoveries, their own lessons, and their own tips and secrets for success—all to help you move toward a happy‚ fruitful relationship!

125. Together you can find answers and pull down new treasures and tips and jewels from the Heavenlies! There's nothing like the true counsel of the Lord, made available to you not only in the privacy of your bedchamber where you're able to receive His intimate, personal Words as He whispers in your ear, but also through the multitude of wise counsel—all that He's made available to you through your shepherds.

126. Take it from me, folks, you can't survive without it‚ because it's God's plan—and His plan always works best. Jesus Himself is the Good Shepherd, but He's given us all lots of good earthly shepherds to help lighten our load. If you want to grow and prosper in your relationship, take every advantage of this opportunity! It's there for you—so use it! (End of message from Dad)

127. (Mama:) That's wonderful advice on shepherding from Dad, but how do you get the shepherding and advice you need if you're the shepherds or if your present Home shepherds can't help you for some reason? Well, there are always others you can turn to in the Family, thank the Lord! Maybe your parents are in a nearby Home and you can pay them a visit. Or maybe you'd feel more comfortable talking with the shepherds of a neighboring Home that you're close to and who understand your situation. Or maybe you have a close friend in your Home or nearby who's also married that you can counsel with and pray with. Or, if nothing else, you can always pour out your heart via mail or e-mail to your parents or other shepherds you know or friends you're close to who might be able to help. If there's no one in your Home or nearby, you can always reach out to others in this way for the help you want and need. Pray and the Lord can show you who to contact and what to say, or even bring someone along for a visit at just the right time!

What If It's Hard for You to Open Your Heart?

128. As I was working on this Letter‚ with Dad's admonition to counsel about your marriages, I was thinking further about the obstacles to counseling, things which can block or hinder us from opening our hearts to another person. One is that you may fear the person won't really understand the problem, perhaps because they haven't experienced the same thing themselves. Maybe they'll even give counsel that doesn't exactly apply, because they don't understand precisely what you're talking about. When one of our channels asked the Lord about this problem, He gave comforting advice:

129. (Jesus speaking:) When you seek counsel from Me, you know that I understand your heartcry; I understand even the things that you can't verbalize, and then I answer them in My counsel to you. But with earthly shepherds, My shepherds that I have placed on the Earth for you, it may take them a while to understand exactly what your trial is, and therefore a little while for them to know what to say, what Word to point you to, or what is the best solution for the problem you are facing.

130. Many times it just helps to have a listening ear and prayer. This is a great help, for all the reasons I have given. But you young people will be disappointed if you expect your shepherds' counsel to be perfect and to be straight as an arrow every time. They will fail, just as any humans fail. Yet I tell you that even in spite of your shepherds' imperfections and in spite of how you may feel they don't measure up sometimes, it is still better to counsel with them than to work things out on your own. That is why I give you shepherds, a third party who is wise and strong in Me, who can be a help.

131. Your shepherds love you greatly‚ and it is a great help just to have someone on your side who is loving you‚ supporting you, praying for you, and holding you when you are emotionally spent and in need of comfort.

132. It is a help because I bless counsel; I bless your opening your heart and sharing it with someone else. Because you do this, because you make this sacrifice to communicate‚ My treasures are opened up and My blessings flow. I have said, "If any two of you agree on Earth as touching any thing‚ it will be done of My Father which is in Heaven" (Mat.18:19). So if you and your counselor together agree to ask that I give a solution to a certain problem, I will do it! It is simply more effective than praying and working things out on your own. (End of message from Jesus.)

Shepherding and Counsel in Marriage—A Threefold Cord!

148. (Jesus speaking: ) I use the illustration of a threefold cord which is not easily broken in many situations and as an example of many things. And now I wish to use this illustration again with you. I want to illustrate marriage and relationships and the need for a third party, an uninvolved member, a shepherd or a friend who's strong in My Spirit.

149. I know that you've often heard the term "threefold cord" used before‚ especially when I've talked about marriage and how your marriage or relationship will be strong and secure if you have a strong connection with Me and if I am the center of everything. Now I wish to show you another angle, which has been neglected in recent years. That is the need to have shepherding and counsel in your relationships or marriages.

150. I know that there are many things that hold you back from receiving outside help for your relationship or marriage. Probably the biggest hindrance is pride. It's embarrassing and humbling to admit that you can't solve your personal problems on your own. It's humiliating to come before another and express your weaknesses and ask for their counsel. It's real tough to admit that you have problems and that you need prayer.

151. Another reason for not counseling is fear that your confidence won't be handled with care, that people will talk about your problems in an unloving way with others, and that the situation will not be represented fairly or accurately. Sharing confidences can sometimes lead to gossip, if not done with someone who is trustworthy and who will handle your heart with care. It's unfortunate that this can happen, but you still need to counsel, as you need the help and healing that it can give. The Bible says‚ "Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another, that you may be healed" (Jam.5:16). When you confess your faults to your shepherd and ask him or her to pray for you, the Bible says you will be healed. Your personal and emotional state will experience healing as a result of your being obedient and seeking counsel.

152. There are also other problems that come up: Perhaps no one's available that you feel comfortable talking with, so you just put it off. You get too busy and don't make your marriage or relationship a priority. There are many, many reasons why it's difficult to seek the help of others.

153. You want to be independent, self-sufficient, strong, and you don't want to be looked down upon as weak or in need of support. Well, even the best of marriages need some kind of outside input, some kind of third party that helps them to work out their difficulties and problems, together with Me.

154. When you're involved in a relationship or marriage, it's easy to get discouraged or in an uproar about little things‚ because you're so close to the forest that you can't see the trees. Therefore, you need others who can help you to see things in your life more clearly. Often when your emotions are so heavily involved, as is the case with marriages and relationships, it's just really difficult to find My will or to strive to do what you know I want you to do, especially when your emotions and feelings are pulling in the opposite direction.

155. I have allowed this feeling of inadequacy, this weakness, this flaw in marriages and relationships so that you would not only come to Me and receive My answers and instruction, but so that you would also go to those around you for counsel and instruction. You may wonder why I say that you need both, and that's a good question. You need both because marriage or other love relationships are just too complicated and too detailed for only two people to handle by themselves.

156. I've allowed you to have this feeling of inadequacy so that you would come to Me and to others. I have allowed marriage problems so that you'll be drawn closer together with the one that you love, so that you will come to Me and receive My specific instruction‚ and so that you will also include others in your marriage and receive their input and help, too. It's a threefold cord: you and your lover or you and your mate [who are "one flesh," as the Word says]‚ Me, and a third party—a friend who's strong in the Word, or a shepherd.

157. It's vital that you have links to others, so that you can vent your trials and frustrations to them, if need be. Instead of getting worked up and lashing out at your partner‚ you could go and talk to your shepherd or a counselor. Often you'll find that with a little communication and prayer, you'll be more calm and serene. Then you'll be able to go and talk with your partner in meekness and faith.

158. Sometimes you just need a listening ear when you're having emotional problems. You just need someone to fight with you in prayer, and this is what I want you to do when you have the need. It strengthens your ties with the others in your Home, or with the close shepherd or friend that you counsel and pray with. It strengthens you and strengthens your partner. It also strengthens the third party, because they're getting valuable experience; they're learning to make prayerful wise decisions‚ hear from Me, and exercise their gift of prayer. There's nothing but benefits when it comes to opening up your private relationship and receiving the help of another.

159. Sometimes I will be able to shepherd you clearly without another's help, as you hear My fresh Words of instruction. But there will be other times when it will be necessary to call on another. If you're very emotional or are having a hard time receiving My Words or applying My Words due to the emotional struggle in your life or mind, then it's always helpful to have someone else there who isn't physically involved—someone who can help you to apply My Words and give you wise, loving counsel.

160. It does take a lot of faith to open up to another at first. You have your little private relationship and you seem to be able to struggle through the problems and make it through okay. But if you would open your lives to counsel and shepherding and instruction, then you'd find that your relationship can actually grow and blossom. Your relationship will not just survive and barely eke out an existence, but it will become fuller, richer, more meaningful and deeper.

161. It takes humility. It takes faith and trust to share your heart with another, but you'll find that you really can't live without it. If you don't have someone that you're close to that you can confide in and share your heart with, then you'll find yourself getting familiar with your mate or partner and thus having a hard time making progress in your marriage or relationship.

162. There's also great power in united prayer together. If you can simply get together with someone to pray, if you're having problems or battles, even this can be a real strength. It doesn't matter whether you're newlyweds, whether you're a "vintage" couple, or whether you're just in a relationship and are not planning on getting married—all of this advice is for you.

163. I'm the best Marriage Counselor there is, and I counsel you to be open! Share your heart and receive the help of others! You may find out that some of the dear ones in your Home have been through the same things you're going through. You'll be able to wisely learn from their mistakes rather than having to go through the painful experience of making your own set of boo–boos.

164. There's really a lot that you can learn from each other. I work in every individual's life in different ways and each of you has a wealth of information, experience, and good advice under your belt. You don't have to be a designated shepherd or leader‚ because each one of you has a great deal of wisdom and knowledge that you've accumulated through the years of battles and trials that I've brought you through.

165. So be wise and communicate, for with such sacrifices I am well pleased. I will bless your obedience and I will cause your marriage to prosper, grow, blossom, and spring forth into a strong branch that will really last.

166. You must have My Word, you must have Me‚ you must also communicate with others—you must have all these. One cannot stand on its own, if you want your marriage or relationship to be a successful one. But all three combined will really cause you to go places and do things and grow in areas that you never before thought possible.

167. There's a threefold cord that's not easily broken, and that's Me, you and your partner, and Godly counselors. Don't neglect to dip into the wellspring of knowledge and good counsel at your fingertips—the written Word, as well as the knowledge of others who have been through much, that they may be an encouragement and comfort unto others. It's part of their reward and it's part of yours too.

168. Don't neglect to draw close to one another and receive the help and support you need through communicating heart to heart with those that I have placed in your path. (End of message from Jesus.)

Living the Lord's Law of Love, Part 10

(ML #3210:4-38, GN 813.)

4. (Jesus speaking:) If you're desperate, and you desire to do My will and yield yourself to Me, if you want to live the Law of Love and you don't want to harm anyone, if you truly desire to see My love manifested in your heart and poured out to others to bring good—to bring love and light and joy to others, and to harm no one—then I will help you and I will guide you. I will help you to channel your love.

5. The key is the motivation of your heart. If your motivation is to do My will, to lay aside your own life and your own will and your own wants and desires to truly follow Me, this is the key. For I will have control of your heart and your life, and I will direct your love. As it is written, "If any man will come after Me‚ let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me" (Luk.9:23). So if you will deny yourself and your own wants and wishes and your will, and sincerely and desperately seek Me for My will, then I will guide you, I will take control of your emotions, and I will help you.

6. Two are better than one, for they have a good reward for their labor. So to have a prayer partner, a counselor, to help you in these relationships, to help you stay steadfast in prayer, to be a safeguard and a balance to keep you within the boundaries of My Law of Love, is one way to keep your emotions in check.

7. This will accomplish many purposes. It will draw you and your prayer warrior close together. You will need to trust them and be submitted to them. It will be humbling to confess your feelings, but this will bring unity, and in your weakness you will find My strength.

8. So if you'll open your life‚ if you'll humbly confess your need and your desire for My help to keep you, to help you to live My Law of Love, to experience the emotions of My love, and yet to stay within the boundaries of My Law of Love so that you harm or hurt no one, then seek out a companion, a helper, someone close at hand, someone that can be your prayer mate and counselor. (End of message from Jesus)

9. (Mama: ) As you can see, besides prayer, desperation, unselfishness, consideration, the motivation to do the Lord's will, and a willingness to let Him control your emotions, it also helps to have a counselor and prayer partner who you are willing to listen to and yield to. When you have strong emotions it can sometimes be very difficult for you to gauge whether or not your actions are extreme or are hurting others. The intensity of the emotions or sexual attraction you feel for someone can cause you to focus almost all of your attentions on that person without your even realizing it. This is why it helps to have someone who you can confide in, who can pray for you and also give you counsel when they feel you're hurting others or stepping over the boundaries in some way or another.

10. If you're married‚ sometimes your mate can be your counselor and prayer warrior—though that doesn't always work, especially if your mate is battling severe jealousy. Someone on the teamwork could be your prayer partner, as could some other prayerful, mature, spiritually strong person in the Home. As the Lord said, it will be humbling‚ but it will bring unity and will give you the strength to handle these emotional matters maturely and prevent your hurting others. Also, counseling not only with your mate but your shepherds helps them to be aware of your situation so they can support you in prayer and help in whatever way possible.

11. You can also hear from the Lord in prophecy together with this person. Prophecy is an important tool which should be employed regularly to know the Lord's will regarding how you personally can live the Law of Love fully and handle any relationships that might develop as a result. On this, Dad said:

12. (Dad speaking:) A real important key is hearing from the Lord in prophecy as you enter in to practicing the Law of Love. Hear from the Lord early and as you go along. Don't wait until things have become a big mess and then ask the Lord to unravel the situation and sort it out for you, but rather hear from Him each step of the way. Get His directions right from Heaven. He'll tell you exactly how to proceed‚ or how not to proceed‚ as the case may be. (End of message from Dad.)

13. (Mama: ) Besides having a prayer and prophecy partner who can help keep your actions within the boundaries of the Law of Love, there are many other advantages to seeking the counsel and support of your shepherds. There are specific benefits that the Lord gives when you communicate, ask for prayer and seek others' advice that He is not able to give as easily if you try to struggle through on your own. You might feel you're strong enough, that you've got things under control and you know what you're doing, so you don't really need the help of others. If that's the case‚ please check out this next message from the Lord which shows the many ways you could be missing out by trying to be so self-sufficient.

14. (Jesus speaking:) One can chase a thousand, but two can put ten thousand to flight! In unity there is great strength and in wise counsel there is safety. When you do not seek counsel, I am not able to bless you as fully as I would like, and you who would try to manage on your own will be found lacking in strength, power and direction. You will miss out on the extra boost I will give through sweet counsel together with a shepherd, a parent, a friend—one of understanding who is able to give helpful counsel.

15. Through wise counsel, I give strength. In the multitude of counsel I establish purposes. I am able to define goals and lead you to bear good results, good fruit in your relationships. I am able to clear away any rubble or confusion, and give sound wisdom. By seeking counsel, you are able to be instructed, and when you do this‚ you become wise.

16. When there is no counsel you are apt to make mistakes and fall, but as you seek counsel, you guard against mistakes, for in wise counsel there is safety. If you will hear instruction, you will become wise. For I did not make man to live alone, but to need each other, to counsel together, because in this unity there is strength. This is the law of My Spirit‚ that in the multitude of counsel there is safety, strength and sound wisdom, and purposes are established. (End of message from Jesus.)

17. (Mama:) Wow‚ there are all kinds of benefits to be had through counsel and shepherding! So even if it's humbling and you're not used to sharing such intimate details of your life with others‚ I think you'll agree that the benefits are worth it. The Lord says you stand to gain strength, wisdom, power and an extra boost from Him. He'll protect you from falling or making mistakes. He'll cause your efforts to bear good results, and He'll help to define goals and clear away any confusion. So those are very hefty dividends on a pretty small investment of your time and effort. And besides all that, to seek counsel is to do the humble thing, and this pleases the Lord.

18. Shepherds‚ parents and wise counselors can be a shortcut for you, and you stand to gain a lot if you'll be open to the shepherding, help‚ counsel, and mostly to the support and prayer you're able to get. If you're in the habit of going to your shepherds and counselors when things are going okay in order to get good advice, tips, suggestions‚ instruction, moral support and so on, you'll find that many times you may be able to avoid problems before they even start! And if some rough spots do crop up, it will be easier to get the guidance you need to make it through those times because you'll already be accustomed to receiving shepherding in these more personal affairs of your life.

19. You of the younger generation are at a great advantage in having shepherds, parents and friends of the older generation who are at your disposal—so use it! That's what the older generation is here for—to listen, help, share tips and lessons‚ to support you and to pray for you. So don't miss out on all they have to offer!

20. Many people shy away from allowing anyone to counsel or shepherd them in regards to their emotional attachments. If they're involved in a relationship or if they have feelings for someone, they feel it's their own business and others shouldn't be involved. However, if the relationship or the emotional attachments are having a negative effect on a marriage or other Home members, or if the situation is proving to be detrimental to the Home, then the shepherds are responsible to get involved.

21. It's the Home teamwork's job to help the parties involved to resolve their differences and gain victories. As is stated in the Charter: "Should the teamwork feel that a particular sexual relationship between Home members is hurting others in the Home, or causing problems, the teamwork is, of course, free to shepherd and offer counsel in order to help solve the problem or help things to improve" (The Charter, Sex and Affection Rules‚ B).

22. When we asked the Lord about the type of shepherding needed when emotional or romantic feelings are involved, He gave the following message:

23. (Jesus speaking:) The shepherding that I seek is for shepherds to lovingly help those that are battling to overcome the areas in their lives which they need to overcome. If one mate is jealous‚ the shepherd should work on helping them to overcome their jealousy. If one mate is unloving and doing things that are unkind and hurtful, then it's the shepherd's place to help this one to see it, and to try to help them overcome their unloving acts. With this kind of shepherding, good fruit can come forth, for the good shepherd is helping his sheep to overcome their problems.

24. It's the shepherd's job to try to help people overcome their problems and to overcome the things they do that hurt others. It's the shepherd's role to help people to see that they should do the loving thing, the Godly thing, the kind thing. It's up to the shepherd to point out the areas in which people are falling short. But only in very rare, exceptional cases is it the shepherd's job to demand that the sheep put an end to some relationship. This should only be done in specific counsel with the overshepherds, and all parties involved should hear from Me for the situation.

25. It's within the Home shepherd's responsibility to help people live in love, to point out when they are not‚ and to help them overcome the weaknesses which cause them to do unloving things. (End of message from Jesus)

The Shepherding of Relationships Under the Charter

26. (Mama:) I now want to explain what the above message means when the Lord says the shepherds can ask parties involved to put an end to a relationship that is very problematic. The Charter notes that as Charter Members you must "Endeavor to live by the principles of the Law of Love: To love and care for, and interact lovingly and harmoniously with all members of the Home in which you reside and with Family members at large" (The Charter, Responsibilities of Individual Charter Members, E).

27. This is one of the most important clauses in the Charter, because it shows that if Family members do not live by the Law of Love (in this case meaning the general overall concept of "love thy neighbor as thyself") and they hurt others—which includes their mates, loved ones, or children—or if they cause a major disruption in the Home or the work, they are contravening the Charter. So if a personal relationship gets so out of hand that it's continually harming others, causing a disturbance in the Home, and the people involved refuse to be counseled and are making no effort to change or work on the areas of their relationship that are causing problems, then the people involved in that relationship are contravening the Charter. Remember, an important and key responsibility of Charter Members is to "endeavor to live by the principles of the Law of Love," which specifically includes to "interact lovingly and harmoniously with all members of the Home."

28. The Charter states that it's the responsibility and authority of Home officers to "Lovingly and faithfully correct and discipline individuals who fail to fulfill the Responsibilities of Individual Members, or who violate or contravene the 'Fundamental Family Rules,' and any agreed-upon Home regulations, in a manner appropriate and proportionate to the offense" (The Charter, Responsibilities and Authority of Home Officers, C).

29. This means that Family officers have the authority and responsibility to shepherd people and to correct them when they're doing things wrong, when they're hurting others, or when they're slowing down or hindering or disrupting their Home and the Lord's work. Such problems need to be corrected, and should not be allowed to continue. Family officers are responsible to faithfully correct and discipline individuals who fail to fulfill or violate the Charter, and that includes those who do not live up to the Responsibilities of Individual Members.

30. Let's now make this more specific regarding personal relationships: If a relationship is really out of line, the shepherds of the Home would be responsible to talk to the individuals involved, letting them know how they are not living the Law of Love, and pointing out how they are causing hurt to others through their relationship. The Home shepherds would need to lovingly counsel them about how to overcome the problems and improve the situation. It's acceptable that the Home officers would suggest that those involved in the relationship make things right with the Lord and others through desperate prayer‚ counseling‚ communication with one another, and hearing from the Lord in prophecy.

31. The Home teamwork is completely within their realm of responsibility and authority to ask that a personal relationship be reined in. In other words, it can be suggested that they "cool it off" by having it limited through safeguards, so that others are not being hurt and it's not causing harm to the Home. The Home officers can also ask that the relationship be discontinued if it can't be reined in sufficiently and brought within the appropriate boundaries of the Law of Love, which includes the counsel put forth in this series of GNs.

32. If the people involved refuse to follow the counsel of the Home teamwork and the problems continue, the Home officers can discuss the matter with the Home council. In such a case, the shepherds must explain to the Home the reasons why these individuals should either change their behavior or not be allowed to continue their relationship in their Home. If a simple majority of the Home council agrees, then they must either change the things that are causing harm or they must stop their relationship; or if they refuse to follow the counsel, then the Home council can vote that one or both people involved in the relationship leave the Home.

33. Of course‚ the members in the relationship also have the right, if the Home officers ask them to bring their relationship under control or break it off, to bring their case before the Home council and explain their side and get a vote from the Home. (See The Charter, Responsibilities and Authority of Home Officers, C.1.) If the Home still wants to proceed with them restricting their relationship or breaking it off, or even leaving the Home, then those involved in the relationship have the right to appeal even higher in the form of a right of redress. (See The Charter, The Right of Redress.) If the people involved in the relationship do not want to follow the counsel of the Home officers or Home council, they are free at any time to give their notice and move out of the Home. (See The Charter, The Right of Mobility.)

34. So as you can see, within the Charter, unfruitful, runaway‚ disruptive relationships can be shepherded and corrected. But I want to caution all of you about not moving too fast to enact any drastic measures of requiring that people discontinue relationships or voting people out of your Home. Yes, that is an option, but it should only be used as a necessary last-resort stance in very rare, exceptional cases.

35. I'm sure you're all aware that growing in personal relationships, learning to live the Law of Love and overcoming jealousy take time. Please don't be rash or overreact. Take time to hear all sides of the story, and especially to hear from the Lord about how to help people who are struggling! Give situations time, give people the benefit of the doubt. Let the Lord work!

36. If a relationship is temporarily weakening those involved, or causing them to have some battles and trials, this is not reason enough to try to put a stop to it. It is reason enough to try to help those involved through counsel, understanding, prayer, etc., but it's not wise to step in prematurely to try to "rescue" those who are learning, though struggling, when the Lord may be trying to use the situation to teach them very valuable and needed lessons that will help them grow. Also, just because the shepherds of the Home or even the overshepherds feel that people are not compatible for one reason or another, that is not reason enough for them to insist that a relationship be stopped.

37. First try to shepherd the people involved through their problems. This should be done through prayer, counsel and seeking the Lord. The shepherds must try to show the people involved in the relationship the problems in their relationship and the problems that it's causing to them, the Home, other members, and the work, so that they of their own choice will work on overcoming those problems.

38. Again I stress that love is the answer—loving shepherding and taking the time to pray and seek the Lord for wisdom, love, and His Words to direct and help people through relationship problems. In most cases, with the Lord's help, this will be successful and will strengthen the individuals and the Homes involved. Remember‚ as shepherds it is important that you handle people's hearts with a great deal of tender loving care‚ keeping their personal affairs confidential, and being mindful to not overreact to things that someone has entrusted to your confidence.

Mama's Memos, No.8

(ML #3231:44-58, GN 832.)

The Need for Shepherding

44. (Mama:) I've heard that some people in the Family—especially certain young people—feel that they've grown out of the need for shepherding. Apparently they feel that after so many years of being shepherded‚ they should be able to take care of themselves‚ make their own choices, and live their lives without any help, counsel, or what they might consider "interference" from anyone.

45. It's true that under the Charter the Lord has given you all the opportunity to operate according to your own faith, but you still need help, counsel and instruction from others to help you find the Lord's will and follow it. In the following message, the Lord explains why all of us need shepherding, no matter how old we get, and no matter how many years of shepherding we've had. He also talks about what a true shepherd means, and how He wants us to use the new weapon of prophecy as a means of receiving personal shepherding from Him.

46. (Jesus speaking: ) He that is humble knows not that he is humble. And he that thinks that he is humble enough and has arrived is in need of humility. He that thinks he is capable and doesn't need help from anyone will not go very far, and will not accomplish as much as the person who acknowledges that he needs help, and taps into the abilities and knowledge and strength of others. He that thinks he is mature and wise and knows all that he needs to know is not yet mature or wise, but in need of learning.

47. There are none who are good in themselves. There are none who are all-sufficient, all-knowing, all-capable. All are in need of Me, and all continue to learn. No matter what your age, whether you're 14 or 40, you are still learning, progressing, and maturing in some area of your life. You should be moving forward and growing, continuing to change‚ revoluting and following the movement of My Spirit.

48. As you grow and mature in one area and learn the lessons and win the victories that I have for you in that area, you can then turn around and guide another and pass on the things that you've learned. The lessons you learn will depend on your age, your experiences, your needs, and My will. But you will never reach the age where there's no more to learn, no more progress to be made, or no more wisdom to be gained.

49. The easiest way to learn is from the mistakes and experiences of others—from the maturity, the skill, the training, the anointing and the spirituality of those around you—your shepherds. This doesn't depend upon your age, and it doesn't even depend upon the title of shepherd, because everyone has someone who is their elder in the Lord, someone who they can look up to and learn from and follow their example.

50. When I speak of shepherds, I do not speak of perfection or of spiritual giants. I speak of those who love Me and you and others, and are laying down their lives for the sake of My work. I speak of those who love My Word and love to hear from Me‚ and obey what I tell them to do. I speak of those who strive to live within the guidelines of the Charter that I have set down and established, making it a Love Charter in deed and in truth rather than a set of laws and traditions. These are the shepherds, elders, parents, guides and teachers I speak of here.

51. You can learn the fast way by yielding to your shepherds' guidance, or you can learn the slow way by resisting it. You can progress quickly by accepting and yielding, or you can move along at a snail's pace by refusing and digging your heels in and hardly budging. You can let the fire of My Spirit change you and sweep you along quickly by getting on board and believing and receiving, or you can remain just as you are, set in your own ways. He who thinks he needs nothing is in need of much, but he who strives for more and more will be filled and given more.

52. Your shepherds are there for you, to love you and help you. They're there to serve you. They've been called and anointed by My Spirit to be shepherds to My children. Even though you might think that you don't need shepherding because you're not a child anymore and you should be able to do as you please with the wisdom and anointing I've given you, the fact of the matter is that everyone needs shepherding at some time in their lives—some more than others‚ depending on how much they've learned and how yielded, believing, receiving and accepting they are to the lessons of My Spirit.

53. All are in need of shepherding and all benefit from loving shepherding—from the youngest babe in the Family to My precious queen, who I personally shepherd. Husbands and wives need to be shepherded. Shepherds need shepherding from other shepherds. Children need guidance. Older people need help. Young people need instruction. Living means learning, growing, and progressing, and once you've learned and progressed in one area‚ you move on to another and another, and teach others as you go.

54. If you don't like shepherding, and you feel that you don't need it and you don't want it‚ perhaps it's because you need to change your outlook and adopt a fresh new way of thinking. If you receive shepherding, you will benefit, and your work and ministry will benefit. But if you have a mindset that shepherding is not good, or your attitude is one of seeing any instruction or direction as repressing or squelching you, then perhaps that's the problem. Your own mindset could be your greatest repressor and hindrance.

55. If you feel that shepherds get in your way‚ that they're always expecting things of you‚ making demands on you, hindering your work, and making life difficult, then perhaps you should take a closer look at your attitude and how easy you're making it for others to work with you. Your shepherds are there to serve you; that's their commission and they've been anointed to do so. But they can only work well with you if you're willing to receive their help, suggestions and instruction.

56. You say, "But that's just the point, I don't need any help. I don't need suggestions. I want to find out for myself and make up my own mind. I'm a grown person and I'm tired of having to listen to other people." That's fine, and you'll find your shepherds will be very happy if you can make your own wise decisions, prayerfully hear from Me for yourself and proceed according to My will. If what you're doing and how you do it is bearing good fruit and being a good sample of unity and love and is upholding the standard, then you'll probably find your shepherds will give you leave to operate according to your faith most of the time. But if your actions, decisions and desires are not according to My Law of Love, or not according to the standard of My Word or the Charter, and cause disunity or a lack of love and cooperation‚ then you should be happy to receive loving help and instruction from your shepherds.

57. You have a choice as to how you look at your situation, how much you get out of it‚ and how much you allow yourself to grow and mature. If your attitude is such that you want to learn all that you can so that you can move on to the next stage, the next step, the next new responsibility, the next new adventure, then you will not only grow and progress quickly, but you will be happy and fulfilled and challenged. But if you balk and refuse and drag your feet and criticize and go on strike in spirit, then you won't get anywhere fast. In fact‚ you'll go backward and be left behind in the spirit while others go forward.

58. You might think it's not a big thing to be a little resistant to your shepherds and not want to listen to them or acknowledge them, but in choosing not to be shepherded by My earthly shepherds, you are also choosing not to be shepherded by Me and by My Word, because I have chosen to set up shepherds over My flocks to shepherd according to My Word and My will. In accepting and learning and receiving from your loving earthly shepherds, you are accepting and receiving from Me. (End of message from Jesus.)

What Is Full-Time Discipleship?

(ML #3469:69-119 (GN 1055); ML #3469:431-451 (GN 1056).)

You are all responsible to shepherd your Home members

(From "More on 'The Shakeup 2000'")

69. (Mama:) Many of you probably know someone or have heard of someone who has been disciplined according to the Charter for excommunicable offenses.

70. But there are other "crimes," spiritual ones, that have gone largely undisciplined by the Homes‚ VSs and COs, and that have resulted in some serious problems both inside and outside our Homes. These problems are caused by people who are not upholding the spiritual requirements of the Charter, and sad to say, such people are often a very negative influence on others.

71. The spiritual problems I'm talking about are when people: sow division, mock or talk against the Word, are a destructive influence and lead others astray, do not minimize ungodly and unedifying influences, are unwilling to acknowledge and work on their weaknesses and besetting sins, do not read or try to apply the New Wine to their lives, do not live according to the Law of Love, do not shepherd and discipline their children, are unwilling to abide by their Home's regulations, or do not conduct themselves as would be expected of good Christians, and are a reproach to the cause.

72. You read in "The Shakeup 2000" how each person and Home is responsible to do their part to clean up the Family and keep it clean, to get rid of the poison that is threatening our very existence. You can't depend on the VSs and COs to do it all. The Home Councils are one of the three governing bodies of the Family, and those Home Councils are made up of individuals—you! You are responsible for your own personal sample, reactions, decisions‚ obedience‚ and determination to uphold the CM standard, but you're also responsible to be wise, mature members of your Home Council. You must personally obey the CM contract; that is your obligation. But you must also help others to do the same, and if they refuse to do so, then it's also your responsibility to discipline those people, and if they refuse to change, then you're obligated to see that it is recommended that they be moved to FM status.

73. If you individuals and Homes just wait around for the VSs to visit or the COs to write you a letter of counsel, you'll probably be waiting quite a long time, because there are comparatively few VSs and COs. And besides, the Lord doesn't expect them to do all the "policing" of the Family. It's impossible for them to be aware of all the needs of your Home, to discipline all those who need it, to give all the correction and guidance that must be given, and to judge all the problem situations.

74. You live with each other, you see how your Home members conduct themselves, and you know if they're upholding the CM standard. If they aren't, it's your responsibility to do something about it! The Lord will hold you accountable! It's up to you to recognize the problems, pray about them, offer Word-based counsel and shepherding, and mete out discipline according to the Charter. If these measures don't bring the needed results, then you're responsible to recommend that the people who are contravening the Charter be moved to Fellow member status. That is your charge before God!

75. I pray this next message will shake you up and give you the fear of the Lord, so you'll not be so concerned about the opinions of others or the peer pressure you face, but your loyalties will be first to the Lord‚ the Family, and the Word!

76. (Jesus: ) How long, My children, will you halt between two opinions? How long will you be blind to the truth? How long will you hide your wounds and the wounds of others? How long will you be blind leaders of the blind? How long will you flagrantly disobey My Word, or cover up and lie to save face for those who do? How long will you follow this path of bewitchment? When will you stand up for the truth?

77. Who will stand up for the truth? Who will be counted as My Gideon's band? Who will love Me more than life itself? Who will love Me more than friends, more than lovers, more than husbands or wives, more than parents‚ more than children, more than bosom buddies? Who will love Me with a pure heart? Who will fight for the right‚ for the truth, even within the borders of your tents?

78. You can't expect the COs and VSs to do everything. Their burdens are already heavier than they can carry. The weights on their shoulders are already more cumbersome than you can imagine. It's impossible for them to see everything, know everything‚ keep everyone in line, or keep everyone close to Me and following My will. It's impossible, and I don't expect this of them.

79. You are the keepers of your house, the ones accountable to Me for yourself‚ and yes, for the situations surrounding you. Yes, you are your brother's keeper. You—yes, you—are responsible to keep the Family pure, to rid the Family of the poisons of the System, the evil sores and bloody wounds of the System.

80. By your covering up and your lack of openness with your shepherds‚ you're putting bandages around deep, gaping sores. Instead of calling for the nurses and physicians to come and clean and disinfect the sore and begin the healing process, or cut the sore completely out so that it won't destroy the whole body‚ the sores and wounds and diseased portions of the body are becoming infected, full of pus, and the situation is grave. Some flesh is rotten, infested with maggots, and other sores and wounds are developing gangrene.

81. You, My beautiful body, My Bride, are one body. Each part of the body is needed, and each part must be whole‚ pure, clean, and be tended to. Do you cover up your sores and refuse to get the help that you need? Or do you cover up the sores and wounds of others‚ refusing to get help for them? Though you may think that the wounds or sores will simply go away if you cover them up, how wrong you are! They will not go away! They will not disappear! All sins and disobediences are seen by Me.

82. Through the deep wounds that many have incurred—through the ways of the world, the poisons of the System, the ruthlessness of the Devil—toxins and poisons have been able to enter the body. Because you haven't been willing to stand up for the truth, to have the conviction and strength of spirit to see the wrong and do something about it, to call for help when a wound or sore appears or when you see someone injecting poison into their system, you're allowing your own body to be contaminated, for you are all one.

83. If one person is rotting away, it's bound to also affect you adversely, because you're all one body. The poisons won't stop; they'll keep flowing, and they'll infect you too. The rotten sores that you cover and hide only get worse, and soon you will start to rot too. The whole body, My beautiful Bride, will start to rot and decay if these poisons and sores and gaping wounds are not disinfected, amputated or destroyed.

84. You have the responsibility—you, as a part of this body, My One Wife—to keep the health, to keep the perfection, to keep the purity. If you saw a deep gash on your foot and noticed that it was beginning to turn green, what would you do? If you saw a deep blackness slowly but surely creeping up your leg beneath your skin‚ what would you do? Would you cover it up and pretend that it wasn't there? Would you hope that it would go away, or that nobody would notice it?

85. No, you would not rest until you had the help that you needed! You would tell someone immediately‚ without delay. You wouldn't just let your foot—and ultimately your whole leg, and then your body—rot away. … This is the gruesome horror of these infections of the Enemy!

86. This should alarm you, My children, because what you are doing in allowing these troublemakers and problem-producers to continue in their dirty work is disastrous! When you allow someone in your Home or your area to disregard the Word, speak negatively about Maria and Peter, infect others with their System music, affect others with their System attitudes, foul language and hankering for ungodly wisdom, or whatever they're doing that is not in accordance with My Word and the CM contract, you're allowing poison and infection to enter the bloodstream of the Family—your bloodstream.

87. The VSs and COs can't possibly see everything that's going on. So if you value your place in the Family, if you value the Family at all, then you should be willing to stand up for the truth, for what you know is right. The Family is weakening! The Family is being poisoned! There are wounds‚ infections, rotting pieces of skin that need to be cut off. The Family is in a precarious state of health, because of the diseases of the System and the poisons of the world. If the Family is to survive, then drastic measures must be taken.

88. You're going to have to take a stand—you personally. If you see something that's wrong, that's not in line with the Word, that's not according to the Charter, then it's your responsibility to do something about it. It's your responsibility to stand up for the truth, because evil triumphs when good men do nothing. And I'm sorry to say this, but evil has been triumphing in many areas of the Family because you haven't been willing to stand up for the truth. You've been a coward. You've abdicated your responsibility as a Family member.

89. What is your responsibility? You're responsible to ensure the purity of the Family. You say‚ "Oh, but I am only one and I don't make a difference." The truth is that you do make a difference! What you do makes a world of difference. And if everyone was doing what they were supposed to be doing, if everyone was obeying like they were supposed to be obeying, then we wouldn't have such a desperate situation in the Family today. It's because of your willingness to stand by and see others poison the work that things have gotten into such a sorry state.

90. It's high time for you to stand up and be counted. Do all that's within your power to ensure that we remain pure and free and revolutionary. Don't let anyone stick needles in the Family and inject their poison, because it's your body they're poisoning, not just their own. Don't cover up wounds or boils or diseases. Get help! Don't cover up the infections of others, because they'll infect you and the ones you love. Get help! That's your responsibility.

91. Who do you honor and love more—Me or your friends? Do you love Me and value your place in My Endtime army more than you value your loved ones, your mate, your children‚ your parents, or your Home members? If you do—and you should—it's your responsibility to give your loyalties to Me. You can help those that you love as much as you can‚ but don't water down your convictions. Even if you lose friends or loved ones, your first responsibility is to Me and this Family. You have to make a stand, to be counted worthy, even if you stand alone.

92. It's a desperate situation, and I'm calling for each of you to be counted as My revolutionary, dropped-out, free-from-the-System, iconoclastic children of the End! Rid your body of the poisons before it's too late. Stand up for what you know is right, for My truth. And if you see someone who's disobeying or weakening the Family, it's your responsibility to do something about it. We have enough "weakeners." Will you be a "strengthener"? Even if you're afraid of losing someone's friendship or love, I'm counting on you and I expect your loyalties to be toward Me first and foremost.

93. Your true friends will respect you for standing up for your convictions, and those who don't respect your convictions and disregard the standard of My Word don't deserve the privilege of being in the Family. So I don't want to hear of troublemakers and dividers and poison-injectors and System-lovers being tolerated in this Family anymore. We're a revolutionary Gideon's band, and I don't care if we lose one-third of our CM membership, if that's what it takes to keep us pure and separate from the world!

94. Are you with Me? Do you have the guts and conviction to give Me your all, to stand up for the truth even in the face of ridicule and mockery? Do you believe in Me and this Family enough to forsake all else, even the things that are dearest to your heart, to even die for Me if need be? I'm calling you to fulfill your responsibility as a 110% CM Family member. Do you have the guts to do that? I pray you do! Your survival as a member of My avant–garde depends on it! (End of message from Jesus.) (ML #3262:50-52, 150-171, 173; GN 863).

(From "The Family's Future and Expansion Program")

95. (Peter: ) The Lord is calling all of you to make commitments. The commitments that you need to make are: to be a shepherd, to follow close, to embrace His Word, and to apply it in your life now, so that you can help others apply it in their lives in the near future.

96. He's asking you to "become your brother's keeper," to "learn to shepherd one another in love," to "help one another in the spirit," and to "uphold one another in prayer." These are the jobs of a shepherd, whether you have a title or not. Jesus is asking you to start now so that you'll be ready when He starts bringing people to your door.

97. What does this mean in practical terms? What are you supposed to do? To start with, pray. Talk to the Lord about your personal commitment. Make it clear to Him that you want to participate in the future of the Family. I'd suggest you pray the prayer in "Your Open Heart Prayer to the Lord" (ML #3163, in GN 769 or Lifelines 24). Then let the Lord speak to you.

98. Next, evaluate your situation. Where are you headed spiritually? What kind of choices are you making? Are you striving to live the Word, and do you apply it in your life? What's important to you? Who are your friends? Do they help you draw closer to the Lord, or do they pull you away? Ask the Lord these questions and let Him tell you how He sees you. Ask your shepherds as well.

99. If you see you're headed the wrong way spiritually or you're making the wrong choices--such as not applying the Word, the wrong things being important to you, or you realize that your friends pull you away from the Lord and the Word—then do something about it. Pray. Ask the Lord to speak to you in prophecy and show you what to do. Take action! Fight against any negative pulls in your life. Don't just drift downstream because it's easier or because your friends are. Fight to head upstream. Work at it! Make a conscious decision to grow in the spirit‚ and then put feet to your decision. Pray, hear from the Lord, counsel with your shepherds‚ get prayer. Actively pursue God's will.

100. Once you've done this, then work to become your brother's keeper. When you see someone who's heading downstream, maybe someone you've been hanging out with, try to help them. Don't be self-righteous about it, but don't be a complete wimp either. If someone is making the wrong choices, speaking doubt, or not following the Word‚ talk to them about it. Pray for them. Talk to your shepherds about it. See if there is anything you can do to help them by asking the Lord. They are your brothers and sisters, so help them if you can. It's your responsibility. Don't let them just drift away.

101. Is there someone in your Home who you feel is eventually going to leave the Family because of the choices they're making now? If so, actively help them. Don't let the Enemy snatch them away. Fight for them! Get involved. Bring this person to the attention of your teamwork. Don't let them float away. Do what the Lord says: "Become your brother's keeper. Learn to shepherd one another in love. Help one another in the spirit. Uphold one another in prayer."

102. Or how about your younger brothers and sisters? When was the last time you taught them a class or read the Word with them? When was the last time you had talk time with them and answered their questions with the Word? When was the last time you got involved in their spiritual lives? Ask yourself if you're a good influence on them. Do you want them to follow in your footsteps? And if they do, where will they end up? You can start shepherding them by being a good sample today.

103. The Lord is asking us to help one another, and as we do, it will prepare us for the ministry He's bringing to our doorstep. Will you be ready?

Dish It Out and Take It; Correct the Problems and Problem People in Your Home

(Jesus:) "Learn to receive correction, guidance and counsel from one another. For if you expect to become the teachers and shepherds of the new flock that I am going to bring to you, then you must be humble enough to be shepherded yourself. You must not see it as interference by others, but as someone who loves you trying to help."

104. (Peter:) Uh oh! Not only are we to be our brother's keeper‚ but he's supposed to be our keeper as well. You're not going to be the only one dispensing help to others—they're going to be helping you as well. And you need to learn to receive it.

105. Since the Charter, a lot of Family members have gotten out of the habit of gracefully receiving correction when something they've done wrong is pointed out to them. If your teamwork gives you correction and you don't like it, you can just hand in your 30-day notice and you're on your way—no need to listen, no need to change. Many people have become very independent, and as such, are not open to shepherding from others. Because of this reticence, usually caused by pride, their spiritual growth has somewhat stagnated.

106. The Lord makes it clear that He wants us to be able to take it if we're going to dish it out. If you're going to be a shepherd of the coming flocks, then you have to be humble enough to be shepherded. You need to get over feeling that others are interfering with your life, and instead realize that they are trying to help you because they love you.

107. Collectively‚ your Home members are going to be responsible for the spiritual lives and training of others. All of you will need to work together to help them grow. That's why you need to start now by making your personal commitments, progressing spiritually‚ accepting spiritual help from others, being your brother's keeper, and being uplifting to your Home. As a Home you need to make progress. You need to grow together, be united, and solve your Home's problems.

108. If you have a problem or someone who has spiritual problems in your Home, it's your responsibility to do something about it. It's not the VS's responsibility. When the VS has to step in and solve your problem, that should be the last resort. You have the responsibility and the authority within the Charter to solve your problem situations, and you need to do it.

109. You should not wait until a VS visits your Home to take care of the problem. If you have, you've waited too long and you've failed as a teamwork and as a Home in your shepherding. The Charter grants the Home authority to handle these situations. As a Home, you can put someone on Probationary Status if they aren't working to overcome their problems. If they're causing serious problems and refuse to be helped, you can either vote them out of your Home or recommend to the COs and VSs that they be moved to Fellow member status.

110. I know it's not pleasant to confront problems like this, but you must. If you can't learn to handle problems at the Home level, then how are you going to take care of those who will be coming to your Home, your Bible classes, your church? How will you be able to counsel, shepherd, and help with the problems of those who will become your fellow believers and co–workers? (ML #3308:115-120, 122-127, 130‚ 132, 134-135; GN 908).

(From "Conviction and Honesty")

111. (Mama:) I think people in our Family have somehow gotten the idea that they're not supposed to tell people that what they are doing is wrong. … If you're afraid to tell people that what they are doing is wrong, then you start to compromise with them!

112. I'm afraid too few of us seem to have the conviction for the Lord's truth that we should have! I don't know what happened and why we don't. Maybe it's because we went a bit overboard in some things. Then we had to have a turnabout in using more wisdom and love and not being so self-righteous and overbearing in our witness, but perhaps everybody went too far again to the opposite extreme and went overboard in being too sweet and nice and wishy-washy in our standard and our conviction against sin and evil!

113. But telling people the truth and warning them of danger because you are sincerely concerned about them and trying to help them is not the same as being self-righteous and holier-than-thou. Our Family needs to have more conviction to be able to stand up for the truth and tell people what they need to know!

114. When somebody's doing something wrong, that's when you have the opportunity to tell them that you don't agree with them, you believe what the Bible says about it, and you warn them or tell them because you want to help them! You don't just live it for yourself, but you believe it so much that you want them to live it too! That's love! … Are our people ashamed to live their godly convictions in front of others and to tell them they should do the same? Do we compromise the truth to those who need it?

115. I hope I'm wrong, but for some reason I have the feeling that our people have gotten such a pacifistic, sort of lovey-dovey approach‚ where they prefer to just let everything pass and not bother to stand up against evil or wrongdoing, and I think that's a very bad attitude. It's very wrong‚ because if you don't start standing up for the Lord in the little things, if you're afraid to confront evildoers, or just don't care or don't have the conviction, what are you ever going to do when you have to stand up and be counted in much greater things?

116. It seems we've gotten a little watered-down in certain areas where we don't really stand up for our convictions! We figure our sins are not quite so "bad," we're special and we can get away with more, which isn't a good attitude to have at all. It looks like we need to get back to being a little more legalistic in some areas and not just throw out all the rules. "Well, all things are pure and OK, love and mercy overrules, so we don't have to worry about any rules or limitations or personal sins." We'd better change our standard if this is our way of thinking.

117. We've gotten so sort of wishy-washy, thinking, "The Lord forgives us for everything and we're His special children‚ so there's no need to worry about wrongdoing. It'll all work out all right and we can get away with whatever we want to get away with." Whereas I think we're going to be surprised to see the Lord maybe expected more of us than He did of other people in a lot of areas because we know better and we're supposed to be a wonderful sample and yet many times we aren't! We're even a bigger stumbling block if we proclaim so much that, "We're the Lord's chosen people! We are it!" and then we act worse than the sinners!

118. Do you live an honest, godly standard with firm convictions? (Maria #51:5-8, 11, 14, 16-17; DB 3).

(From "Keep Fighting!—Conviction versus Compromise, Part 6")

119. (Mama:) If you have differences or conflicts in your Home‚ you need to work it out in your Home. If people in your Home are not committed and refuse to be shepherded and change, then those individuals should move to the level in the Family that better reflects their personal commitment. If you want your Home to be united and free of compromise, don't just coexist with those who continue to compromise. If you do‚ you're apt to suffer for their sins, because you didn't obey. (ML #3366:65; GN 969).

Spiritual shepherding of children / discipline

(From "Loving Shepherding and Interaction—Charter Style")

431. (Mama:) I've heard that some of you parents and teen shepherds have questioned whether you should be shepherding your young people. Somehow you have come to the mistaken conclusion that the Charter means that you're supposed to let them do what they want.

432. You parents cannot abdicate your responsibilities to shepherd your junior teens or JETTs or any of our young people. They still need your love, direction‚ inspiration, encouragement, instruction and correction.

433. If you want to know the rights of junior teens‚ read the Charter. You'll see that there is nothing in there that gives junior teens (or JETTs) the right to watch unrecommended television, play hours and hours of unedifying computer games‚ refuse correction from their elders, call their parents old bottles, etc.

434. The Charter has not done away with shepherding, parenting, discipline and obedience! We still have shepherds, we still have parents‚ we still have discipline and obedience. Any of you parents who let your kids—of any age—get away with such behavior for any length of time are failing as parents and may eventually find that no one wants to live with you because you've allowed your kids to become rotten apples and teen terrors.

435. When you make decisions and pray about what to do, you need to take into consideration the applicable points in the Charter, but I would expect you to also use all the wisdom and training that you've received through years and years of studying the Word! The Charter gives you the general guidelines and principles by which to live, but you can't just throw out all the guidance and counsel in the Letters on a subject. For example‚ there are numerous Letters that talk about how to teach, train and discipline teens‚ the need to avoid the evil influences of the System, how to correct kids, as well as how to understand, challenge and inspire them. When you think about all that has been printed on these subjects, along with the guidance in the Charter, you'd think it would be fairly easy to … come to the right conclusion—that you can't let your teens just run wild! You'll have hell to pay if you do!

436. To summarize: You adults are to continue to shepherd your junior teens (and of course your other young people as well). You cannot abdicate your responsibilities. The voting members of your Home should decide together on the behavior and disciplinary standard for your Home, taking into consideration the thoughts and feelings of the junior teens. When making decisions, counsel together, study the Charter and the Word, and if need be, ask the Lord to speak in prophecy concerning anything you're not sure about. Parents and teen shepherds need to work together.

437. If your junior teens are rebellious or discontent, try to find out why. Check your heart to see what kind of samples you're being. You should treat the teens as lovingly and respectfully as possible, listening to them, considering their feelings and desires, and giving them choices within God's will whenever possible. You can give them certain freedoms, if they handle them well and are responsible. (ML #3018:4, 11-13, 33, 59-60; Lifelines 22).

(From "Keep Fighting!—Conviction versus Compromise‚ Part 6")

438. (Dad:) If your kids are spiritually off track, getting sucked into the System, and influencing other kids negatively, then it's your duty as a disciple and parent to get them in line! You must be willing to discipline them or have others discipline them. If not, you'll need to reconsider your place in the CM Family. You're probably more suited for the FM Family if you can't get your kids in line, since our children are a very important part of our sample!

439. The kids of the lenient parents eventually start corrupting other kids‚ and eventually they can actually become yielded to the Enemy and begin dragging down the other kids. These problems cannot be tolerated! Having undisciplined, rebellious, bad–apple children who are rotting others is compromise that brings division, and it can't be allowed in the CM Family!

440. If someone doesn't want to hold to the Family standard, then they are sowing division and should have division from the Family. And that includes those who aren't upholding the Family discipline standard and keeping their kids' behavior in line.

441. To maintain unity in your Homes, if you've got problem kids, you've got to unite as a Home, as a body of adults and parents, and work on the problems.

442. (Mama: ) It's unacceptable to allow rebellious kids who are yielded to the Enemy to pollute and hurt other kids spiritually.

443. The parents of unruly kids should be willing to show tangible signs of progress toward raising their standard of discipline, of receiving counsel from their shepherds and CP board, as well as from their brethren who are trying to help them and their children.

444. If the parents of such problem kids are not open to counsel, if they refuse help, if they ignore the Home disciplinary standard, if they let their kids go undisciplined and won't allow others to discipline them, then they're wrong, they're compromising, they're sowing division, and if they refuse to change, they should be reclassified. That behavior cannot be tolerated in the CM Family.

445. Parents, get your kids in shape and don't let them be a source of disunity in your Home, or you will reap the judgments of the Lord's discipline in their lives. You might also lose your CM membership. (ML #3366:77–78, 82, 83, 90-91, 93, 109; GN 969).

(From the Provisional Charter Membership Contract, for 16- and 17–year-old voting Family members)

I hereby signify that I understand and without coercion willingly sign this non-legally binding Provisional Membership contract and agree that in order to continue as a Charter member of the Family, I will consistently adhere to all of the following Charter responsibilities. I also acknowledge and agree that if I sign the contract but then fail to consistently comply with these stipulations, then my shepherds and/or parents will try to shepherd me‚ and I will be open to their counsel.

I hereby agree to:

1. Maintain a close connection with God through personal communion with Jesus, personal and united prayer and praise, personal and united reading of His Word (both the Bible and the Letters), Scripture memorization, and the minimizing and resisting of ungodly and unedifying influences in my life; thus exhibiting the fruits of the Holy Spirit, which are: "love, joy, peace, long-suffering‚ gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance."
2. Respect the fundamental Family beliefs, even though I may not have yet made the decision to fully accept all of them. This respect means that I understand that Charter members do accept the fundamental Family beliefs, and therefore I will not speak against these beliefs or undermine others' faith in them. I understand that I can and should bring any questions or doubts I have to my parents or shepherds in order to find the answers I need so I can grow in faith.
3. Endeavor to live in accordance with the Word by trying to apply the spiritual and practical counsel given in the Letters to my daily life.
4. Read the Bible, the Letters, and other Family publications, both old and new.
5. Endeavor to live by the principles of the Law of Love: To love and care for, and interact lovingly and harmoniously with all members of the Home in which I reside and with Family members at large.
6. Live in accordance with the agreed-upon "Home regulations" of the Home in which I continue to reside.
7. Endeavor to conduct myself as a good Christian‚ showing outgoing love and concern for others, and fulfilling my obligations, legal and otherwise, to them.
8. Refrain from activities or behavior that would be a reproach to the cause of Christ and/or reflect negatively on the Family.
9. Endeavor to overcome, and when necessary request united prayer against, those personal weaknesses and besetting sins that cause physical or spiritual disruption in the Home‚ and/or physical, spiritual‚ or emotional harm to me or others.
10. Recognize that my body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, and as such, not abuse it in any way. Keep a clean and presentable appearance‚ and actively and regularly endeavor to stay healthy and physically fit.

(From "More on 'The Shakeup 2000'")

446. (Mama: ) To make lots of mistakes in a variety of areas and to have bad moods and bad days is to be expected with teens, because they're learning, maturing, and having to deal with all kinds of emotions. It's a difficult age for all young people, but especially for our Family teens who the Enemy attacks and tries to derail even more than the teens of the world.

447. You should be understanding and help them along, and discipline them when needed according to the Charter. But when they make the same mistakes over and over, or are obviously rebellious to your counsel and the Word and Charter standard, or when their bad attitudes are long-lasting and affecting others negatively, that cannot be tolerated. If you've tried to shepherd them and help them, but they continue in the same sins or they lead others into the same wrongdoing, then that's where you must draw the line. If they don't show signs of improvement, they will need to be reclassified as Fellow members because they aren't upholding the Provisional CM contract.

448. [The Lord said:] "The key is their willingness, the desire to try. If they express that desire‚ then there's always hope for them, however rascally they may seem to be and however often they seem to goof up in different areas. But leeway should not be given for them to be rebellious‚ refusing to listen to counsel or refusing to obey guidelines that are set down to help keep them behaving in accordance with the Word and the Provisional CM contract. Leeway should be given for mistakes, if they respond to correction for those mistakes with fruits meet for repentance. Leeway should also be given for bad attitudes or lack of faith‚ provided they keep these to themselves. But leeway should not be given for repeated deliberate transgressions, for open rebelliousness, for causing harm to others, or for being a reproach to My work. Once they've been warned, and disciplined once or twice for such things, if they show no willingness to try or to improve‚ then it is time to recommend that they be moved to Fellow member status."

449. The provisional contract is to allow the 16- and 17-year-olds to move through the decision-making period with shepherding (emphasis on with shepherding), so they can mature so that when they're 18 they can sign the CM contract with full faith and understanding. It does not mean that the years of 16 and 17 are the years when they can just go to pot in the spirit, with the hope that when they're 18 they'll get serious about serving the Lord! … It's a time to understand that these young people are making decisions, but it's not a time to let them just go their own way and be junked out in the spirit. They have to be shepherded!

450. A lot of you Home shepherds and parents don't shepherd and correct your flocks. This is a serious weakness in our Family, which needs to change! If you continue neglecting your responsibility to shepherd your flock‚ then it falls on the shoulders of the VSs and COs to come around and say, "Hey‚ this is really out of it! This needs to stop. This person needs to be put on Probationary Status, or be recommended for FM status, or even be moved out of the Family altogether." But the VSs and the COs can't possibly keep an eye on everyone and do all the shepherding and keep the Family clean and pure in spirit. It's your job too‚ and you must make a commitment to buckle down to the hard work of shepherding and disciplining your children and flock by seeing where the problems are, studying the Word on them‚ and seeking the Lord in prophecy for the answers!

451. You parents are obligated to shepherd and discipline your children under point W of the Charter membership contract, and if you fail to do so, then you're in jeopardy of losing your Charter member status. And if you teamworkers do not shepherd and discipline your Home members, then you're not living up to your responsibilities as outlined in the "Obligations of All Family Officers" in the Charter, and you will be disciplined by your Home or your VSs or COs. (ML #3262:111-112, 114-117; GN 863).