Shooting Straight, Part 2--Letter Links: All OUR Children

Caring for Kids Takes Teamwork

(ML #2670:1-31, 42-50, DB 10.)

1. (Maria:) I was rather surprised when I heard the reactions of some of our leaders to the Techi GNs & realised that the main lesson that some of them were drawing from these GNs was that the flesh parents needed to get more involved with their own children.—"Mama‚ you're leading the way & setting a great example for the whole Family that the parents need to spend more time with their children!" I must say I was taken a little aback by that‚ since it had not even entered my mind that this would be one of the conclusions drawn.

2. THE MAJOR POINT THAT I WAS EXPECTING THEM TO GET FROM THE SERIES WAS, "NOW WE SEE THAT WE NEED TO TAKE MORE TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN! We need to take time with our children to establish a good, open channel of communication‚ which will greatly help in dispelling their doubts, worries & fears, answering their questions & increasing their faith." The emphasis was supposed to be on "taking time" & what KIND of time to take, instead of on WHO should take it.

3. IN PUBLISHING THESE TECHI GNS‚ IT WOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED IF I WAS THE MOTHER OR THE CHILDCARE HELPER OR THE AUNT; the whole point I was trying to make was that children need time & open communication with SOMEONE! We would have still published this series if SARA or DORA had been the one talking to Techi. The reason I got involved in the first place was not because Techi needed her flesh mother to talk to her, it was because her precious foster parents were asking questions & needed counsel about how to handle the difficult problems that had come up.

4. I HONESTLY DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE THAN THEY DID, but we prayed about it together & we discussed it together. Then, in order to really find out for myself what the problems were, I started talking to Techi. Following the direction the Lord was leading us‚ I was able to answer her questions openly, help her express her doubts & fears, show her how to fight them, & help her to see the great rewards that result from honesty & openness.

5. I BELIEVE THAT THE LORD COULD HAVE SHOWN GABE & AMY HOW TO PROCEED, JUST AS WELL AS HE SHOWED ME. But because He knew the whole WORLD needed this instruction & counsel, He wanted me to get involved, so I could pass this counsel on, & give an example of how to do it. He knew that in the eyes of the Family, it would carry more weight & authority if it came directly from the King & Queen.

6. BUT IF WE ARE GOING TO CONCLUDE THAT THE MAJOR PROBLEMS OUR KIDS ARE HAVING ARE A RESULT OF THEIR BIOLOGICAL PARENTS NOT GETTING INVOLVED ENOUGH WITH THEM & leaving their spiritual training to others, then I am very much at fault too!—And I would be considered very delinquent & negligent with Techi for the past 11 years! If the main conclusion we draw from the Techi Letters is that the natural parents must continually spend a great deal of time with their children, the fact that Dad & I have not been doing this with Techi for 11 years would make us VERY delinquent in our responsibilities for all that time! Have we been? And if we have been delinquent & if we SHOULD have been spending our time with DAVID & TECHI, how could we have been spending it with all of YOU, our spiritual children?

7. Those who have taken care of our children have loved them & cared for them as real parents, because Dad & I were busy loving & caring for all of you as real parents! I consider that our children have had wonderful parents, parents who, in many ways, were much more capable than I was. They loved the children, they loved to be with them, they had creativity & imagination. I don't think they could have loved them any more if they had been their own children & they were the flesh parents.

8. THE LORD HAS MADE US ONE FAMILY, ONE WIFE, & given us children who belong to ALL of us. He has patterned our Family after the Book of Acts, where all who believed were together & had all things common, including our children. He has given us a Family in which we SHARE what we have; we share our homes, we share our finances, we share our clothes, we share our food, we share love, we share the Word, & we SHOULD share the responsibility for our children. We share the joy of our children in our Homes & the life & hope & happiness that they bring. We share the teaching of our children with others, so why shouldn't we share the spiritual RESPONSIBILITY for them as well?

SHARING THE LOAD OF CARING FOR KIDS!

9. ARE WE LIVING BY THE BOOK OF ACTS OR AREN'T WE?—"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." Those with the most ability, those who are the most capable, should be the ones who do the job. We usually take our best teachers to teach our children‚ our best provisioners to do the provisioning, & we try to take our best leadership to be the heads of our countries, our best singers to do our musical performances etc. If some of our parents are best at administration & shepherding Homes, then it follows that someone who is best at training & caring for children should be with their kids.

10. I have always felt that those who cared for my children were much more capable than I was in that area, whereas I was more capable in the area of shepherding the Family. Therefore it seemed to work out much better when we each stayed in our ministry & our responsibility & the role in which the Lord had put us. If I'd had to be responsible for the fulltime spiritual care of my children, I would not have been able to accomplish nearly as much in the spiritual care of the worldwide Family.

11. IF I'D HAD THE FULLTIME CARE OF DAVID WHEN HE WAS YOUNG, I certainly would not have been able to spend much time on the worldwide Family. Likewise with Techi, if I'd been trying to care for her at the same time that I was trying to help Dad with his ministry, BOTH would've suffered.

12. I always figured if my children had one set of good parents, then they didn't need two or three sets! Of course, they always knew we were Mommy & Daddy Number One‚ & they enjoyed the little bit of time that we could spend with them whenever we did. But we were very satisfied that those who were caring for our children loved them as much as we did & were capable, with our oversight, of caring very well for them.

13. OUR RESPONSIBILITY, WE FELT, WAS TO SEE THAT THOSE WHO CARED FOR OUR CHILDREN WERE CARED FOR, & that they had an open channel of communication with us so that we could discuss & agree on the children's training. But it was more important for us to spend time with THEM than even with the children‚ since in instructing THEM, we were able to instruct many OTHERS—either through our own writings, or through theirs. Whereas the time we could have spent with the children could be filled by others as well.

14. I guess the question comes down to, "Are we one Family or aren't we? Do these children the Lord has given us belong to all of us, or don't they? Does the responsibility of our children fall on all of us or doesn't it?" Though our children, of course, have only one set of natural parents, they can have many spiritual parents. All of us can play some part in their spiritual parenting. Do we really believe that these in this Family are our mothers & fathers & brothers & sisters (& sons & daughters)—these who do the Will of our Father in Heaven?—Mat.12:50.

15. Once we establish that these children belong to all of us & God holds us all responsible, regardless of who physically bore them, we'll have a little more to work with, a few more people to work with, & we won't be giving all the responsibility—physical, intellectual & spiritual—to only the flesh parents. Even the System knows they have to share the responsibility of their children with the churches & the schools.

16. HOWEVER, WHAT'S EVERYBODY'S RESPONSIBILITY IS NOBODY'S RESPONSIBILITY, as Dad has often said, & therefore the responsibility has to be assigned & labelled specifically so that each person knows the specific area that he or she should be responsible for. In the System this is more clearly defined, since intellectual & religious training usually take place, for the most part, OUTSIDE the home. In our Family, however, because their ENTIRE training takes place within our Homes‚ we ourselves must define the responsibilities & who shoulders them.

HOW THE FOLKS' HOME TEAMWORKS ON CHILDCARE!

17. IN OUR HOME, EVERYONE DOES WHAT THEY'RE MOST CAPABLE OF DOING‚ but at the same time they all have the ADDED responsibility of sharing in the children's care & upbringing & parenting & shepherding. All of us get into the act & all of us help whenever needed or whenever called upon. Each one has their own major ministry, but when it comes to the care of the children, some of them have a specific assignment in childcare. For example, we have one cook whose main job is cooking, but he teaches the children a class one day a week. One of our secretaries often takes Get-Out with the children‚ & someone else has an assigned time to have prayer vigil with the children.

18. WE HAVE AMY, WHOSE MOST IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITY IS THE CHILDREN, although she too is involved in other ministries in the Home, but her main job is to care both physically & spiritually for the needs of the children, teaching them daily‚ etc. Grandpa spends time teaching a class to the children five nights a week, in addition to his other heavy spiritual responsibilities. I often have report times with Techi before bedtime & walks with David, to keep directly in touch with them.

19. WHENEVER PROBLEMS OR QUESTIONS ABOUT THE TRAINING OF THE CHILDREN or about their work or about interaction between the adults & children come up, then the adults in our Home meet & discuss the children & how they can better help them. Sometimes in these meetings they discuss their OWN sample & how they can be better samples & shape up in certain areas so they won't be bad examples for the children. Even though they have very important jobs, our Family here knows that the children are just as major a responsibility for them as anything else, if not MORE so, & that if a problem comes up with the children, that takes precedence over most of their other work.

20. I DON'T HAVE TO INVOLVE MYSELF DAILY WITH THE CHILDREN'S TRAINING, BECAUSE I HAVE CONFIDENCE THAT IF PROBLEMS COME UP‚ GABE & AMY WILL COMMUNICATE THEM TO ME & we can then counsel together & pray & find the solutions. I have confidence in their discipline of the children as well, but as in all good teamworks, we counsel together on general policies. If they discipline on the spot & later report it to us, even if we may sometimes feel that they might have been mistaken in some way, we realise that they often have to go by THEIR faith & as they feel led. Not everyone operates the same way & people have to have freedom to do as they feel led within certain bounds.

21. IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT ALL THOSE INVOLVED IN THE TRAINING OF OUR CHILDREN COUNSEL TOGETHER & AGREE ON POLICIES.—Educational, disciplinary, recreational—EVERY area of childcare should be discussed & decided upon TOGETHER. In fact, not only should CHILDCARE matters be agreed on like this, but all OTHER areas of the Home as well. All such important matters take TEAMWORK!

WHAT IS THE FLESH PARENTS' ROLE?

22. SO YOU SAY, "DOES ALL THIS MEAN THAT THERE'S NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT BEING A FLESH PARENT?—That they're no more important to their children's upbringing than anyone else?" No‚ please don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that the natural parents don't have to take any special responsibility for their children & that others can fulfil all their children's needs equally well. I believe that our flesh parents DO have a special role to play in their children's training—both physical & spiritual—just as Dad himself has pointed out for so many years.

23. FIRST OF ALL, AS THEIR NATURAL PARENTS, you give them their family name, you give them their legal status as a part of your little family, you give them a home base, some place that they know they belong to within your little unit. You give them some connection with someone who loves them & cares about them, which they desperately need unless or until they become connected to or bonded with others in the greater Family. Furthermore, because you are the one who has a Godly inborn natural love for them, you will probably be the one most interested in their getting their needs met‚ & the one who will be most concerned in trying to do something about it.

24. Because of this, you will probably not only try to help them physically but will be much more concerned about helping them spiritually. If you cannot give them time & attention yourself directly, you will probably be the one who spends the most time in prayer for them & their needs. If they know you as their flesh parents & look up to you, love you & respect you as such, if they are apart from you physically you will still have the special responsibility of communicating with them at least occasionally on a regular basis to let them know that you still love them, care for them & are praying for them.

25. Though some of you may be very busy with other important responsibilities, part of your responsibility is to reassure them in some way that you do love them & care about them. If you are not able to care for them in person yourself‚ it is your responsibility, as much as possible, to see that they are well cared for by others. Where you cannot or do not have much say or ability to do this yourself, you can certainly pray for those who care for them. You can be assured & comforted that the hand of God working in your children's lives & the lives of those who care for them, can do much more than you could ever do in the arm of the flesh.

26. WHAT YOU CAN DO, YOU SHOULD DO; WHAT YOU CAN'T DO, THE LORD WILL DO FOR YOU. But one thing you can always do is PRAY, regardless of the circumstances, whether your children are in your care or in someone else's, whether they're with you or apart from you. One of the most important things you can do is to pray for them. This is one of the most important responsibilities that God has given you as their biological parent. Prayer is the responsibility of ALL of us, of course, but God knew that the flesh parents would have an added incentive & motivation because of their natural inborn love & concern for their children, & He expects them to do just that.

27. SO YES, THE NATURAL PARENTS ARE VERY IMPORTANT & MUST GET INVOLVED AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE IN THEIR CHILDREN'S LIVES. But all of our OTHER Family Members are going to have to get just as much involved because we are ALL called of the Lord to be parents! When He gives us this many children, we must ALL be parents, & we must ALL ask the Lord to give us a VISION for our children.

28. In our Home, the reason I have been able to attend to my other ministries is because there have been enough people to parent our children, so that Dad & I were not required to help so much in their care. The Lord, of course, allowed & privileged us with this extra help because we had to be free to do what only we could do in shepherding the entire Family. However, in our Homes worldwide there are so many children that the few good childcare helpers & foster parents are unable to do the entire job on their own‚ & the children suffer because they are not able to receive enough personal time & attention. Therefore there is no alternative but that their flesh parents help in physically giving some of their time, along with everyone else.

29. We're all going to have to do it because we have so many children to care for! It's going to take all of us. That is the primary reason that we're all going to have to get directly involved in some way. If we had just a few children‚ it would be easier for the natural parents to care for them. But because so many of our mommies have so many children, they can't possibly do it alone, even if their full time is devoted to their children. And how much more do they need help & understanding if they have another important ministry? I believe we all have to share the responsibility & divide the load among us, so that everyone will have some responsibility.

EVERYONE'S NEEDED!

30. The point I'm trying to get across is, yes, we do need to get the parents involved.—But all our parents!—Not just the flesh parents. Everyone needs to take the responsibility for our children, we all need to be assigned specific responsibilities for our children, & we all need to love & be concerned for & pray for our children. They are our most important possessions. They are God's little children, & He's made us responsible for them‚ & one day He's going to make us account for what we have done with them.

31. We're the only way He has of training & shepherding & parenting them. He's expecting us to do a good job of it, & He's holding us all responsible for the children He's given us. Each one of us is going to have to give an account to God for what we've done with our children. Have we played our part—no matter how large or small—faithfully, diligently, lovingly & responsibly? Have we done our best to help our children?

LOVE WITHOUT PARTIALITY!

42. WE NEED TO ALL ASK THE LORD TO GIVE US AN IMPARTIAL LOVE FOR OUR CHILDREN.—Love that can only come supernaturally from the Spirit of God! But it is possible‚ & some of our Family members do manifest this impartial love for the Family's children, loving children born to other Family members just as much as children that they have borne themselves. This is a supernatural love, & must come from the Lord. It often does not come easily, so we should PRAY for it.

43. Many parents have difficulty even loving their own children impartially, & unfortunately & very sadly, some show favouritism to some of their children over the others. To me, that is one of the saddest things I can think of, as it must deeply hurt the children who are not so favoured. And the next saddest thing is for our Family members to show their own children partiality in front of other Family children.

44. IN ALL THE TIMES THAT I HAVE OBSERVED DAD WITH MY TWO FLESH CHILDREN, when he was with those children along with children of other Family members, I never once saw him show favouritism or partiality to David & Techi over Davida or others. Of course, if you're with your flesh children PRIVATELY, that's one thing, & that's not hurting others. Or if you give your children special attention on Family day or parent time while other parents are giving THEIR children special attention, that‚ of course, is perfectly all right & is not showing partiality or favouritism. But when you are with ANY of our Family children, you should try to treat them in a manner that will cause none of them to feel unjustly isolated or put down or neglected or shown less love than the others.

45. Now I understand that when you're with a large group of children by yourself & the little ones are demanding your attention & are crying & whining, the older ones may get shoved aside a bit just because the urgent necessity at the moment is the howling, insistent demands of the little ones! In a case like that, you can't do much about it except to explain the problem to the older children & try to find some special time for them later on. Show them that they're loved just as much & you're just as much concerned about them as the little ones who have to have their physical needs taken care of without delay.

46. I LIKE THE IDEA THAT SOMEONE PROPOSED, THAT SOME PARENT DAYS OR PARENT TIMES WOULD BE MUCH EASIER IF THE PARENTS WOULD LIVE THE ONE WIFE VISION MORE & group their children together according to AGE GROUPS, with some parents taking care of one age group, & other parents taking care of another age group, enabling some parents to rotate the children for special, individual walk-talk time, etc. To do this, we would really have to live the One Wife, one Family vision, to be able to treat our children impartially & without favouritism.

47. HOW CAN WE TEACH OUR CHILDREN WHAT THE FAMILY IS ALL ABOUT & WHAT GOD'S LOVE IS ALL ABOUT, IF WE HANG ON TO OUR FLESH CHILDREN SELFISHLY & are willing to make them exceptions & favour them above the others‚ reserve their discipline for ourselves alone; or discipline others & not discipline our own, speak harshly to others & not to our own, or give ours gifts & not give others the same? For them to realise what God's Family is all about‚ we've got to go all the way, we've got to live by Acts 2:44 & 45.

48. Paul wrote Timothy, "I charge thee before God, & the Lord Jesus Christ, & the elect Angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another‚ doing nothing by partiality."—1Tim.5:21. And the Bible says, "The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, & easy to be entreated‚ full of mercy & good fruits, without partiality, without hypocrisy."—Jam.3:17.—Pray for the Lord's impartial love for our children!

49. WE OURSELVES HAVE GOT TO LIVE BY OUR CONVICTIONS & PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH if we are going to expect THEM to do so. We can't have one standard for ourselves & another for them. We must not only avoid favouring some of our flesh children over any of our other flesh children, & avoid favouring OUR children over the children of OTHERS, but we must ALSO beware of showing partiality to ourselves over our children, in allowing ourselves to get away with a lower, looser standard than we require of them.—Let us pray for more Godly wisdom, wisdom that is truly "without partiality & without hypocrisy!"

TEAMWORKING ON CHILDCARE!

50. TO BRING OUR CHILDREN UP BEING TRUE TO THE GODLY PRINCIPLES OF OUR FAMILY we must merge our manpower, we must merge our resources, we have to merge our ideas‚ our love, our faith—EVERYTHING. If we hold back in any area‚ the whole plan falls apart. We've got to get together, we've got to work in teamwork & harmony & unison as one Family‚ all loving each other & loving our children TOGETHER & equally, doing all, not for our own selfish purposes, but for the glory of God & the furtherance of His Work! Amen?—Are YOU? GBY! ILY!

Help from Heaven

(ML #3056:43–89, Lifelines 23.)

Fathers Desperately Needed!

43. (Mama:) Recently Dad spoke again on the need to lovingly care for and discipline our children when I had someone pray about what could be done to help one of our single mothers whose OC children were becoming very unruly. This woman is wonderfully dedicated and a tremendous asset to her Home, but her children were becoming a serious problem. Finally‚ we received a report outlining the dilemma in detail and asking for help. The situation was getting pretty desperate! Dad gave the following advice:

44. (Prophecy, Dad speaking:) I think by the time it gets to the point where a report has to be sent to you, it's a pretty serious situation. You know how our people are—they're sort of timid sometimes. They want to give it the benefit of the doubt and try again, hoping maybe the situation will resolve itself. They want to be sure they give it enough time. They're afraid of being too harsh or too strict or coming off too heavy, and meanwhile the problem just gets worse. They seem to go from one extreme to the other—from giving too much discipline to not giving enough and being too lenient. So I think someone is going to have to step in there and make some decisions and get firm with these kids and lay down the law a little bit. Because if you don't, you'll not only have OC terrors, but those OC terrors will soon be teen terrors!

45. Our poor‚ poor mommies just can't raise these kids all by themselves sometimes, especially when you have very talented kids who are very strong-willed, very smart, very intelligent, full-of-energy powerhouses! They're going to need an extra strong hand to help keep them on the right track, or you're really going to have problems on your hands. We might not have enough men to go around‚ so some of the men are going to have to double up as daddies for some of these kids and give them the father image they need, the strong hand and the discipline needed to keep some of these fiery ones in line.

46. When my kids were growing up, I wasn't home all the time. I was on the road a lot, and Mother Eve took care of the kids. But when I was home, we had discipline, and the kids were respectful, and they said "Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Ma'am!" They wouldn't think of sassing me, talking back‚ or being disrespectful. And when I threatened to give discipline, they knew I meant it!

47. I wasn't hard on them or harsh. We had lots of fun and we had freedom in the spirit and I was very loving‚ but there were also rules. And when the rules were broken, there were punishments! I enforced the rules so that there were absolutes, and the kids knew what was right and what was wrong. They knew that if they did what was wrong and I found out about it, then there would be a punishment. They knew crime didn't pay.

48. This is how you teach truth to your children. This is how your kids learn the truth. Because if you pour into them the Word and the Bible, but you have no discipline and no absolutes, no rules or right and wrong in your lives, then it tears down the truth that they read about in the Word and that they hear about, and they're confused. You just have anarchy, and it makes the Word of God of none effect.

49. They need discipline as young children, to teach them that God's Word is true. If they read in the Bible that "the way of transgressors is hard" (Pro.13:15), but they don't see the consequences of their own transgressions in the discipline that they receive, then they will mock the truth, they will mock the Word‚ and they will mock our way of life.

50. So this is a very important foundation in the life of our kids—to give and enforce the discipline laid down in the Word, the discipline laid down in the Letters and the Love Charter, and the discipline that fathers should make sure that the children in the Family are receiving.

51. Just as you women want a man to love you‚ and this helps you to understand how the Lord loves you, so the children must have a father image in their lives, so they'll understand how the Lord is with them, how they need to respect Him and love Him and be yielded to Him, and obey Him and fear Him as their Heavenly Father. They'll understand that He is a loving Father, but at the same time He has rules and He expects us to obey Him, submit to Him, and respect Him.

52. They need these father images to, as you would say, put "skin" on the Lord, to put skin and flesh on Him‚ so the Lord isn't just something abstract to them. By having a daddy, they can better relate to and understand the Lord; He becomes more real to them.

53. You're going to have to find our loving, indulgent mothers who may be a little bit lax on the discipline, some strong men, strong in spirit, who have a firm hand, who are not afraid to stand up to some of these kids and not let them get away with things, or you're going to lose them. They're going to wreak havoc‚ and after they're done wreaking their havoc, you're going to lose them. They'll turn into rotten apples and they'll spoil others.

54. So get some men on the job! They've certainly been on the job making these babies, and now they need to get back on the job disciplining them, because these hard–to-manage kids‚ when channeled in the right direction, are going to be real powerhouses! When we let them loose on the Enemy, brother, he'd better watch out! Love, Dad. (End of prophecy.)

55. (Mama:) In this message, Dad emphasizes the need to care for all of the children as "our children." Also in the previous prophecy Dad says, "All of the kids are your kids! Whether they be of your own flesh and blood, or somebody else's‚ or some single mother's, they're still your kids." Again and again the Lord and Dad bring up the point that our single moms need dads for their kids!

56. Sometimes I wonder if we in the Family grasp how much a faithful, loving father figure can do to help turn around a problem child. Have you ever witnessed firsthand the tremendous positive influence that just one caring person can have on a rebellious, hard-to-handle child? Do you realize that even one person who really goes to work to help a child—by caring, listening‚ being interested, making himself available, showing unconditional love—can make a huge difference? Or do you just shake your head in despair and think, "Hey, that kid is too far gone. He's a 'rotten apple'! Nothing can help him. No amount of time, shepherding, love‚ prayer or attention will be able to salvage him. So forget it!"

57. Recently I received a personal letter where someone was telling me of his childhood experiences before he joined the Family. He was a juvenile delinquent when he was a preteen and teen, and I was greatly impressed with the dramatic change that came about in his life when his father began spending more time with him. Here's this person's story:

58. "From the age of 8 to 14 I was a very bad boy, a juvenile delinquent. My father was never around. He would leave at 3:00 in the afternoon to go to work and come home at 3:00 in the morning. When I got up in the morning he was asleep, and when I got home from school he was gone to work, so I rarely saw him, except for a few minutes on Sundays. My mother loved me but she had no conviction about discipline, so I pretty much was on my own from the age of 8.

59. "I got into lots of trouble. I was a thief. I stole everything I needed or wanted, including cigarettes‚ candy, food, money. I broke into schools. I broke into churches to steal offerings. I was doing very poorly in school, always getting spanked and disciplined. I was a very big discouragement to my teachers and parents. To put it bluntly, I was incorrigible.

60. "This went on until I turned 14, at which time I got caught stealing some money and was going to be sent to a reform school because I had been in so much trouble over the years. At that point, my father got furious with me and beat me. He didn't use his fists, but he threw me up against the wall and beat me really bad for a long while with his open hands, hitting me all around my face‚ neck, ears and back, which scared me; but that didn't have much lasting effect because I was used to fighting and getting beat up for years.

61. "But after this beating, my father must have been shocked at his behavior. He either prayed or somehow he came to the realization that it wasn't all my fault. I was just a boy. He saw that the fault had largely been with him for not being a father to me. Then he re-evaluated his entire life and decided that he was going to help me.

62. "From that point on he stopped working at night and got a daytime job at much reduced pay. He started being with me every day. When I would come home from school he was there. He would ask me about my school work. He started to help me and was interested in how I was doing in school. We joined a men and boys club, and instead of me hanging out at the dingy pool hall all the time, he took me to this beautiful recreational center and he and I played pool, handball and basketball together. He started doing all the things with me that I liked to do. He bought me a season ticket at the golf course and took me golfing three or four times a week. We were together all the time.

63. "It changed my life. Then I started getting A's and B's in school, and I was on the honor roll. I made new friends who were studious and didn't get in trouble, instead of running around with the pool hall gang, which also changed my life considerably.

64. "When my father started to take a much greater interest in my life and showed me a lot more love and understanding, I became a different person. Before, I was so tough on the outside that it never would have appeared that that was what I needed‚ but on the inside I was crying out for love‚ attention, companionship. I ended up graduating from high school with honors.

65. "Love was the key. Not only love, but time was very, very important to me. The reason I got in so much trouble when I was young was because I didn't think anyone really cared about me. I didn't think anyone was interested in me; no one was taking any time with me, so I just became a bad boy."

66. (Mama:) When praying about and reflecting on this testimony, I felt convicted and saddened to think that in our Family we often minimize or ignore or just plain don't understand the power that a father or a father figure can have in the life of a child. My heart aches to think that some of our own dear children could feel that no one is interested in them, or cares about them‚ or has the time or desire to be with them. It makes me cry to think about any of our children getting lost in the crowd and, like the above testimony, deciding to become "bad kids," because they figure it doesn't matter anyway.

67. Please, men, won't you just stop and look around you? Is there some child or some children in your Home who need your love, time and attention? Are there children around you who are desperate to feel that someone cares, that they're special to someone? I'll bet there are! Maybe it's that OC boy who has been driving you nuts because he's so wild, disobedient, and obnoxious! Or maybe it's the reticent JETT girl who doesn't cause much trouble, but who you've also noticed doesn't laugh much or talk much or enter in much. Or maybe it's the four little children of a single mother who are adorable, cute, funny and precious‚ but who also have their mother wrapped around their little fingers, so they not only run wild around the Home but completely wear her out as well!

68. Does that sound familiar? Are there some kids in your Home like that? Well, you can make a difference! That's right, you, just one man, can make a difference. You probably don't have the opportunity to join a fancy club of some sort like the father and son did in the above testimony, but that doesn't matter. That's not necessary! There are plenty of things you can do with a needy child or young person—and the most precious thing you can give them is your time!

69. Won't you please take some child or children under your wing and give them what they need‚ which is someone to talk to and pray with, someone to be with during their free time, someone who they feel special to, someone who can show them the way and give them direction, correction and fatherly advice? Every child needs to know that someone admires them, has faith in them, likes them, enjoys their company, and looks forward to being with them. We all need someone who we know is happy to see us each day, someone who will pray for us and feel for us when we're deeply disappointed‚ someone who will hold on to us when we're about to lose hope, someone who will laugh with us when our dreams come true, or help us to keep trying even if we have lost courage.

70. Will you be that person for one or some of our dear children? You can be Jesus for a child. What a privilege, what an honor! Your love, concern, discipline and friendship can make a world of difference!

71. You often hear in the news and documentaries of people—teachers, pastors, police‚ etc.—who have helped bring about a big change in young people's lives, even the worst of delinquents, because they gave them their time. A recent news spot I heard featured a woman named Suzanne Pachera who has opened a home for troubled kids—runaways, castoffs, prostitutes, gang members—those who fall between the cracks of the System. Her home is called "The House of Hope" in Fresno, California. In the interview she said, "The children that I serve are the most unwanted children, the rejects of the nation." When the interviewer asked some of the kids what they were doing before they came to the home they said, "Taking drugs. Fighting a lot. Pimping girls. Shooting people for fun‚ for money."

72. When talking about the kids, Suzanne said, "They've lost all hope. They've lost trust in adults. We adults are too busy. We don't listen any more. No one has time for the children any more." When asked what the children need, she responded, "These guys? It's a very simple formula. You know what these kids really need?—Motherly love. They want role models. They want people who will be honest with them. They want someone to discipline them. They want someone who can teach them responsibility, consequences. Someone to hold them, hug them. I don't give up on them. If you teach them to give up easily, they'll give up."

73. One of the older teen boys hugged this woman and said, "She's my mom. Not by blood, but in a sense, she's still my mom. She takes care of me." When the kids were asked what change had come about in their lives as a result of this woman, the meanest–looking kid, the one who used to shoot people for fun, said, "Look inside of us. We've got hope. We've got dreams. We care too. Now I want to go to college."

74. Suzanne's closing message to parents was: "Love your children. Don't give up on them. Love them till it hurts. That's what love is all about—loving unconditionally‚ till it hurts!"

75. This woman is making a difference! Just one caring person is changing the lives of those kids! I feel our Homes sometimes lose sight of the power of one individual, because you depend too much on the Family as a whole, the institution, the organization in our big multi-family Homes, the shepherding/parenting mechanism, so you as individuals don't feel the need to take responsibility for the children as you should. What a pity! If people in the System can give their lives for kids off the streets, children of strangers, and become parents, friends and counselors to them, then we‚ by God's grace, should certainly have the love and compassion necessary to care for our own!

76. If they can go to such lengths to save their children, certainly we ought to be able to do the same, and how much more motivation should we have for doing it! Sure‚ you've got oodles of kids and you can blame it on the fact that you don't have enough time to spend on each one, but still the handicaps of those in the System are far greater!—And when they have enough gumption and conviction to know that their kids need them and go to their rescue, our Family really doesn't have any excuses for not doing the same.

77. But to do that, you can't have a fly-by-night, here–today-gone-tomorrow attitude. You need to make personal, long-term commitments to our children and young people, and be willing to stay with them as their father or father figure long enough to build bonds, supply their needs in a deep way, and bring about some real change. This counsel applies to women too, of course, but now I'm talking specifically to you men, since one of the greatest needs we have is that of fathers and father figures—especially for our single mothers!

78. Of course, one big excuse is going to be that we have so many kids, how can you tune in so much to one, because if you do that, you're neglecting the others. But there have got to be some answers, and as has been brought out before in Letters like "How to Have a Happy Home‚" you adults are just going to have to tune in to the kids as you go. Whatever activities you adults have to do, you're going to have to incorporate the young people and take them on as partners, co-workers, helpers, etc.

79. Every adult has something that they can give to a child, as was also brought out in that Letter. You can teach them to read, teach them a special game; teach them a vocational skill, like handyman, cooking, computer, sewing; take them places with you‚ and all kinds of things. You may have to rotate, but if you're willing to sacrifice for them, you can make that needed difference in their lives! Dad brought out this very point in a recent message in which he said:

80. (Prophecy, Dad speaking:) The most wonderful blessing in my life was all our children, wasn't it, Mama? It was all our children—giving them everything that we had, teaching them everything that we knew.

81. If you want to have fun in life‚ live with some children. They draw the best out of you! You can't just pass them by. They are brand-new models, they need everything that you've got. Do you want to have fun witnessing?—Witness with children. Do you want to feel like you've really accomplished something for the day?—Teach the kids. Do you want to feel loved? Do you want to feel like somebody loves you more than you've ever been loved?—Take a child into your life—one, or two, or three! I never had so much love as when I took in all of you. You were my life and my song.

82. Jesus blessed me with so much joy, so much beauty, so much fulfillment, seeing you carry on where I couldn't go; seeing you take the steps that I couldn't take any more. But you never would have been able to do it if I hadn't given you everything I had. I gave till there was nothing left in the bottle‚ not one little drop left. Jesus knew there wasn't anything left for me to do, so He brought me Here, and now I can do everything and more. And I'm still working with kids! You should see all the kids around me. It's my greatest joy, giving them all Jesus.

83. If you want to live your life for Jesus, it's a life of giving, teaching‚ pouring out, praying for, loving, showing concern‚ nurturing, feeling‚ comforting, praying, caring. How anybody could ever pass by little children, I just don't understand. I just don't understand how anyone could pass by those beautiful mothers with their need for love and encouragement and support.

84. Don't! Let's not turn them away‚ folks. Let's not shut them out of our doors. They're part of the Family. This is the Family. What is a family if there are no kids?

85. You're my kids and I gave you everything. Now you've got kids and you've got to give them your all, every one of you, whether they are your kid brother or your children. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. "Suffer little children to come unto Me and forbid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven."

86. You'll be rewarded one day when you see the Kingdom carrying on in our precious kids. Just teach them to witness, teach them to love Jesus. Keep life simple, don't let it get so complicated. Keep it simple, so you've got time for all they need. I kept my life simple. If my life had been cluttered with so much of the world and distractions, I wouldn't have had time to think about your needs. Keep your eyes on Jesus, keep it simple.

87. Let these breakings, these needs, bring you closer to Him. Yield, keep being faithful one day at a time, one step at a time, one child at a time, one parent at a time‚ one brother at a time, one mother at a time; and we'll all shout the victory together in the end. It will be worth it all!

88. There's a great payoff, so don't give up now! The race isn't won yet, but we are getting closer all the time. He's all your strength, all your glory, and He loves you and I love you. You are my kids and I'm still concerned about you, still teaching you, still training you‚ still giving my all for you. I love you! (End of prophecy.)

89. (Mama:) Please, men, won't you give your all to help our dear mothers who are struggling!? If you're not willing or available to be their full-time mate and a permanent daddy for their children‚ then please at least accept the role of being a father figure to their children! They need you! Please do it for them!—And for the Lord! And for me!

Living the Lord's Law of Love, Part 11

(ML #3211:5-16, 94-121, GN 814.)

5. (Mama:) In Part 7 of this series the Lord again mentioned the importance of living the "One Wife" vision, when He said that even parenting teamworks will not supply all the needs of you who have children. Take the needs of our single mothers, for one example. He said:

6. (Jesus speaking: ) The greatest‚ most long-lasting and deepest solution to the single mothers' needs is the pure and total enactment of the "One Wife" vision. Even parenting team­works, as good as they are, have their drawbacks and their weaknesses. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.) (ML #3207:145).

7. (Mama:) Parenting teamworks are helpful and definitely have their place. The Lord is certainly promoting them and they will bear good fruit, but He also said:

8. (Jesus speaking:) The ultimate goal, the complete vision‚ and the deeper, longer-lasting and more fruitful solution is living the "One Wife" vision, which is where each Home is a giant parenting team­work where all bear the needs and feel responsible for their brethren—be they married couples, singles, single mothers‚ young people or children. Living the "One Wife" vision is the ultimate answer!

9. I will not be satisfied until the Family reaches that goal, until they have grown to understand, accept and take responsi­bility for their greater marriage in its totality. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

10. (Mama:) As the Lord led Peter and me step by step in the preparation of this series, I began to wonder if there was too much emphasis being placed on the individual family and the responsibility of the mother and father to their child or children, to the point that it would minimize the principle that we are all married to each other in spirit, and ideally we're to look at each person as our mate and at their children as our children. That's the principle of "One Wife."

11. I was concerned that as people learn to take responsibility for the children they bear together that there would possibly be a move toward too much concentration on little private nuclear families‚ which would in some way inhibit the overall unity that the Lord is trying to bring to pass in the Body as a whole. When praying about it, the Lord explained further where He is leading.

12. (Jesus speaking:) As you launch out to live the Law of Love, this is preparation. It's the pathway that leads to fulfilling the "One Wife" vision. And as you grow to live the Law of Love, this goes hand in hand with fulfilling the "One Wife" vision; they are one and the same. Living the "One Wife" vision is the golden solution‚ because to put the responsibility on husbands and wives, daddies and mommies, and the ones who are actually responsible for creating the children in the flesh, will never be enough.

13. I have put within the heart of My children a need to reach out and to receive input from many sources and many people. I want all of My children—young and old, from both generations, adult and child—to have a wide circle of family, friends‚ companions, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters. My way is not the way of the world, to build and secure only independent nuclear families, for that strength is limited. That bond is very weak in comparison with the bond that can be formed as My Family learns to live the "One Wife" vision where they become part of a greater marriage in spirit, where they look upon each other as their mate and the others' children as their own.

14. The responsibilities and cautions and explanations must be pointed out clearly‚ and My children must understand that if they create a child together, then I hold them responsible, for it is their child and in most cases they are destined and chosen to be the parents of that child and to give that child the input, education, spiritual foundation and training that he needs and deserves. When they choose to fuck they take upon themselves that responsibility, but it is not a responsibility that I expect the mother and father to bear entirely on their own. I don't want the parents to shirk the responsibility, but I also want the others of their greater marriage in spirit to help to bear the responsi­bility. For as you bear one another's burdens, so do you fulfill My Law of Love.

15. Yes, individual nuclear families of dedicated, committed, loving married couples and their children are a good testimony and they are a strength to the Family‚ but the greater testi­mony and the greater strength comes from the greater marriage. Living the "One Wife" ­vision is the ultimate goal and that is what I am moving My Family toward.

16. All the clarifications and explanations, boundaries and guidelines that are put forth in this Law of Love series are building the foun­dation and making it possible for the Family to move from the point that they're now at to a point of much greater unity, where they truly realize the "One Wife" vision and truly become married to one another in spirit. The "One Wife" vision is a very integral key part of the plan‚ an important piece of the puzzle. To live the Law of Love in every aspect cannot be done without the vision and determination to live the "One Wife" vision. They are one and the same. (End of message from Jesus)

More on Putting the "One Wife" Vision into Practice

94. (Mama:) If the Lord is leading us to live the "One Wife" vision much more than we have in the past‚ then I was quite sure He would be happy to give us all the explanation we need to be able to make fast solid progress.

95. I wondered, how do we make each Home a "giant parenting teamwork" in which we all bear the needs and feel responsible for our brethren? How do we make what the Lord called the "ultimate answer"—living the "One Wife" vision—a reality in our Homes? What is our greater marriage supposed to be like, and how do we make it work? I had these questions on my heart and so asked the Lord for more counsel, and Dad gave a very inspired talk that is just what we need to not only understand the "One Wife" vision more, but also have the faith and vision to do what is needed to make it more alive and real in our Homes.

96. (Dad speaking: ) The "One Wife" ­vision is a big subject and one that really turns me on! I'm thrilled with the Lord's far-reaching, miraculous, powerful answers to the Family's problems, and believe me, living the "One Wife" vision is just that! It's an answer that you've all been desperate to find, and it's been there all along, but you just haven't fully understood it. I know the idea of a "greater marriage in spirit" is a pretty deep truth. So with the Lord's help‚ I'm going to try to explain a little more about what it means to be married to one another in spirit, as One Wife.

97. But I'm going to ask you to also help me with this explanation. I can hear you now, saying, "What's Dad talking about? How can we help him? We hardly understand the 'One Wife' vision ourselves!" Well, I'll tell you what, I'm going to give you some ideas, some starting points for under­standing and putting the "One Wife" vision into practice, but then I want you to take it a step further and talk about those ideas, discuss them in detail, and see how you can live them—how you can put them into practice in your daily lives.

98. There's something very special about taking the time to talk about what the Word says. It's one thing to read it, but when you have to actually sit down and think about it and digest that Word and see what it means to you personally and as a Home, then you really get down to business. Then you can really make fast progress.

99. So as you read this message‚ I want you to be thinking about this little assignment. And then take some time to talk about it as a Home. It doesn't have to be immediately after reading this Letter. You can think and pray about it for a while, but don't delay too long or you might just forget it altogether. Thanks for your help on this. You'll see that it's worth the effort.

100. When you want to apply the "One Wife" vision in practical terms, just think of the things you would do in a private marriage—being loving, considerate, kind, sup­port­ive, comforting, caring, sharing‚ and so forth—and try to put that into practice as much as possible between you and all of your mates in your greater marriage. The way to put the greater marriage of the children of David into practice is all around, as much as possible, in the different areas of your lives.

101. Just think of all it takes to make a marriage, and work on that. Go to it! It will help to keep in mind that it does take time to grow into marriage. You can't necessarily expect everything to be hunky-dory from day one—you have to invest in it and work on it. But you have to start somewhere, and the important thing is to be growing together, making progress, and working on your marriage day by day. It takes lots of hard work to make a marriage work, but the results are well worth it! The results are strong bonds—strong cords that cannot be broken.

102. Remember, folks‚ although the Lord has given you the liberty to share sexually and to love each other in the bed of love, and this is wonderful and liberating and has many, many pros to it, sexual sharing is still only a small part of marriage. This marriage is all about real, true married love and is manifested in much broader terms than mere sex, emotions, love relationships, and in-love feelings.

103. With your greater marriage, the Lord wants you to live your married love. What's a marriage but a union? It's a uniting together. It's becoming one. So the best way everyone can begin to apply this marriage in practical terms is by living and putting into practice real, true married love, and getting it together as one Family‚ one wife.

104. Look at each other as individuals. Look at the other as that person you love, that mate that you need, that part of you that you cannot live without, because one cannot do without the other. Look at each other as someone who has something to contribute. (See 1Cor.12:12-25.)

105. Sex is really a very small part of a marriage—only about 2% or so. It's a very small portion compared to all the other factors that go into a marriage and into making it work. Sure‚ there will be relationships developing due to this greater marriage. There will be all sorts of relationships and degrees of emotion and love, and they won't always be the same. But just because there will be relationships and greater freedom sexually than has been practiced in recent years in the Family, nonetheless, all this should not dominate or be the main goal or thrust of the marriage of the children of David.

106. Even with the relationships and situations that arise, many of these will change from time to time according to the need and according to how the Lord is moving and working in each individual life. Emotions and in-love feelings will play a part, but they are not the main part. So I would advise you not to look at this as the main area to begin working on in building your marriage. You don't have to go out of your way looking for relationships. It takes a lot of lovin' to make a house a home, and it takes a Heaven of a lot more than sex and in–love feelings and relationships to make a marriage!

107. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for sex, and you guys certainly know that by now! Sex is beautiful and it can bring lots of unity and help bind you together. And as is obvious, sexual sharing is a part of this marriage‚ and more sharing amongst those who can will be one practical way that will help bring unity, when done in love and in counsel with those involved. As many of you have discovered, sexual sharing, if done within the guidelines of the Law of Love, really helps bring you together.

108. But as you have also found, it takes a large measure of love, prayerfulness and seeking the Lord for guidance as to when, where, how‚ with whom, and so on, and to make sure that no one is left out‚ or that people aren't getting too far off kilter to one extreme or the other. All things are lawful, but they are not always expedient. So in order to do this, you have to get it together in prayer, in counsel, and in seeking the Lord. To have a fruitful marriage‚ all the necessary ingredients—love, communication, prayerfulness, consideration and sex—have got to work together, because a false balance is not pleasing in the Lord's sight.

Marriage Is…

109. (Dad continues:) What is marriage? It's a union, a uniting, becoming one. It's being together, acting together, and doing things together. So looking for ways to do more things unitedly and together when possible would be a good start.

110. Marriage is understanding. It's being blind to the faults of the other. It's being con­siderate in every way—considerate of the other's time, of their feelings, of their wants and desires. Marriage is caring. It's being concerned. It's going out of your way to make sure the other person is well cared for and has their needs met. Marriage is kindness. It's kind words and putting those words into action.

111. Marriage is support. It's supporting your mates in their ministries, in their endeavors, in their projects‚ in their battles and trials. It's supporting them with your prayers and with your actions. It's going out of your way to help them if you can—to give them moral support, physical support, prayer support, all-around sup­port. It's cheering them on and encouraging them when they feel down. Marriage is stooping to lift the other. It's being strong when the other is weak. It's caring for the sick and comforting the lonely.

112. Marriage is protection. It's protecting your mates from harm or danger by not making unwise moves, by keeping good security. It's protecting the other's feelings with kind words and deeds and actions. Marriage is provision. It's doing your part to make sure the other has their needs met. It's pulling your share of the load. Marriage is hard work day after day. It's going out of your way to meet the needs of each of your mates in whatever way you can, even if you don't feel like it. Marriage is lending a helping hand.

113. Marriage is sacrifice. It's sacrificing yourself for the benefit of the other. It's being ready to give up your own ideas or desires to make your mates happy. Marriage is giving of yourself. Marriage is yielding‚ bending, melting together. Marriage is going out of your way. It's preferring the happiness of another to your own.

114. Marriage is stepping out and trying new things, even if you think you might not like them. Marriage is learning from one another. It's give and take on both sides. Marriage is taking turns. It's not one-sided. Marriage is ­submis­sion. It's giving the other person a chance. Marriage is living and loving and helping one another.

115. Marriage is being open-minded. Marriage is willingness—being willing to sacrifice. It's eagerness to lay down your life for the ones you love. Marriage is walking a mile in another's shoes. It's compassion. Marriage is fellowship—doing things to­gether, being together. Marriage is companionship and friendship. Marriage is listening and under­standing.

116. Married love stands through thick and thin‚ no matter how hot the trials or how hard the test. True married love never gives up hope for the other. It's always there, always dependable, always ready with outstretched hands and open arms to take the other in—to love‚ to comfort, to hold, and to cherish. Marriage stands through the bad times as well as the good times. Marriage is learning how to let it pass.

117. Marriage is honesty and good com­muni­cation. It's being willing to share your heart and your thoughts in all humility. Marriage is as sharing as possible, as equal as possible. Man does not see equality as the Lord sees it. In the Lord's eyes, "equality" is everyone having their needs met. It's no one being left out, overlooked or forgotten. The marriage of the children of David should reach out and draw a circle to bring all your mates in.

118. Marriage is talking‚ communicating, praying, discussing, sharing ideas and agreeing together. Marriage does not let things build up between you by ignoring them, but it finds a way; it creates solutions. Marriage is joining hand in hand, heart to heart. It's standing shoulder to shoulder and arm in arm. Marriage is faith. It's all about faith—faith in Jesus and faith in each other. Marriage is confidence in your mates.

119. Marriage is discovery. It's discovering each other, learning about each other and all the funny things you say and do. Marriage is a good sense of humor. It's relaxing together, enjoying each other.

120. Marriage is accepting others for what they are. Marriage is coming to the realization that you are not complete without your other members. Marriage is respect. It's respect for the other—their talents, their anointing, their time.

121. Marriage is humbling. It's doing the humble thing. It's self-sacrifice. It's giving and giving and giving again. It's meeting the needs of the others first, before your own. Marriage can be plain old hard work! Marriage can be the most satisfying and strengthening experience you will ever have. (End of excerpt of message.)

Are You a Delinquent Parent?

(ML #3388:157-178‚ GN 984.)

I Have Set You in Tribes

157. (Jesus speaking:) Parenthood is a high calling, one that I give to those whom I know are capable of handling the job. When I give a child to a man and woman‚ it's because I know that not only does that child need you, the parents, but also that that child is going to be an instrument in your lives, just as much as you will be in his or hers. The child needs the parents, and the parents likewise need the child. I use that child to teach the parents invaluable lessons; that child has the ability to mold and make the parents as much as the parents do to mold and make the child.

158. The things I am able to teach a man and woman through parenting a child or children are limitless, if they are in tune with Me, close to Me, and constantly seeking Me for guidance. Parenthood is a great task. Not only is it a monumental responsibility to teach and train a young life, but it is also an awesome responsibility that I give to parents to learn all they can from the experience of parenting.

159. For you‚ My called and chosen brides, I do not intend for parenting to be a venture in which parents choose to go so far and no further. When I give you a child, I expect not only that you will care for and nurture that child, but also that you will take this high calling, this blessed responsibility, and learn all that I have for you through it.

160. To derive maximum benefit from the calling of parenthood, you must walk close by My side every moment. To benefit the most from your parenting responsibilities, you must seek the counsel, advice and safeguarding of your brethren. When all these things come into play, there are no limits to what you are able to learn and to your growth and progress.

161. In the world, the means and methods by which parents raise their children are more often than not contrary to My ways. I did not create parents to raise their offspring alone. I set the solitary in families; I planned for My people to live together in unity and harmony, loving and helping one another.

162. My plan for child-rearing is not according to that of modern man and modern society. I never intended for one set of parents to go it alone in raising their children. This method of child-rearing is an invention of modern man, inspired by Satan to weaken and tear down. Satan knows the strength of unity‚ and in this modern age‚ he has fought with all his strength to break down, hinder and destroy My plan for successful child-rearing.

163. In the days of yore I set My people in tribes, in families—that is, in large families, not merely a mother and father and children—for I intended child-rearing to be a family affair. My plan was that through the togetherness of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers‚ sisters, and cousins, all might live in unity‚ serving Me to the best of their ability, and likewise that all might unite to give the children of the tribe the very best care.

164. It is the same for you today. I have set you apart, in tribes, giving you a greater family, so that together you can work in love and harmony‚ helping one another to accomplish My will—whether it is reaching the lost of the world with My Word, or teaching and training your young ones in My Word and ways. My will is that you help one another, trust one another, bear one another's burdens, and demonstrate the unity of My Spirit to your children.

165. When it comes to raising your children, My plan is that you will work together in love, harmony, and unity of spirit. My plan is that you will join in ideas‚ vision and goals regarding your child-rearing. I call you to be unified in every way, including in the raising of your children. In My Family, though parents do bear the ultimate responsibility for their children, I lighten their load by spreading the blessing of child-rearing on many shoulders. You have caregivers, friends, aunts, uncles, many shoulders on which to lean, for all must take a part in, and, in fact, do have a part in the children's instruction and care.

166. This is, however, a big responsibility for all concerned. It must be a two-way street‚ one of open and honest communication, of yieldedness‚ of willingness to listen and learn from one another, of giving and taking, of safeguarding one another. If any party in this equation is not doing his or her part, or is failing to live up to the correct standard that I have given in My Word, the plan will not work as successfully as it is meant to. Everyone must learn to listen, must feel the responsibility, must give and take, and must accept the safeguarding of others.

167. This is often especially difficult for the flesh parents of children, since they feel they have the final say, the most important say. This is true; however, wise parents realize they need all the input they can get. Wise parents realize that in leaning on the safeguarding and strength of their co-workers, they will then be able to give their children the very best care and training.

168. Parents of all ages, this is where you can do better. I know your hearts, I know your deep desire to give your children the very best care‚ and I also see you try to do your best, yet in My love and great care for you, I ask you to consider this: What is the best you can give your children? The very best is to lean on Me, and on the strength of unity that I bless you with when you are united in obedience to Me. This is obedience to My will, as well as obedience to the tribal plan I give to you in living My One Wife vision.

169. If you are to do your best in child-rearing, if you are to give your children the very best of care, if you are to walk in full obedience to the express plan I have given the children of David—your best is to lean on the strength of unity in child–rearing that I make available to you.

170. My plan for you is to live in unity, in harmony, speaking the same thing, joined in unity for the care of your children. Anything short of this is not in complete obedience to My will. I give you parents many others—shepherds, caregivers, helpers—who all have a part in helping you raise your children. All must be united in visions and goals. This includes supporting and backing up one another when it comes to the children's care, especially in front of the children themselves. It takes great love, faith, and humility to accept the safeguarding of others. It takes admitting you're wrong when necessary. It takes forsaking your own inclinations and ideas at times‚ when My Spirit is guiding differently.

171. You parents have the most important role in seeking the unity of spirit with your brethren. This is because ultimately you have the final say over your children's lives. This responsibility, however, is not to make you lord over others; in reality it makes you more their servants. It means that as parents you must take on more the role of going the extra mile, seeking counsel, and striving for great unity in spirit. It takes faith, trust, yielding to one another‚ and being willing to listen to the safeguarding of others, for without this faith and trust and yielding to others, you will create in your children's lives a "build up with one hand‚ tear down with another" effect. When this happens, a great breach is opened in spirit.

172. You who help and counsel and teamwork with the parents in the training of their children also have a great responsibility, to make sure you are acting in humility and not falling prey to a spirit of self-righteousness. Even if the parents obviously need help, it is not your place to become self-righteous or critical. If you do, it will not bear the fruit of My Spirit, and any counsel that you offer will not come across in the helpful way that I intend it to. All involved must pray for My spirit of humility and understanding and a wise balance, so that you may be a strong, united team together, to fight for our children and to train them in My ways. (See also "Keep Fighting," ML #3366:51-56; 64; 72; 102-107, GN 969.)

173. One of the greatest devices the Enemy seeks to use against you is to blind you to the great importance of this unity I wish for you to have. When I speak of great unity, I speak especially of the unity of spirit. I speak of uniting in prayer, in hearing from Me, in making decisions concerning the children's care together, and in sticking to and carrying out those decisions together.

174. Remember, children are often more sensitive to the spirit than most adults. If any of you, therefore‚ say one thing out of lip service, yet in your heart you think or feel a different way, or behind closed doors you express other opinions, your children will pick this up in spirit. They will sense the disunity, for it is a spiritual thing, and when this happens it causes great confusion in their young minds. When this happens you will begin to see signs cropping up‚ various manifestations of wrong behavior, disobediences, rebellion, murmurings, unruliness and discontentment.

175. These attitudes of spirit are highly contagious and cannot be hidden. Therefore the unity of spirit must begin with the adults of the Home. If you are obeying My Word one hundred percent when it comes to child-rearing, you parents above all must seek the unity of spirit with those you live with‚ who all have a very important part in helping to shape, care for and train your young ones.

176. Remember, I have set you in tribes. I have called you to unite together, to fight together, to do all things together, including your child-rearing.

177. This unity of spirit must be manifest in genuine action. If you are truly seeking to be united and acting upon it, it will show in your fruits. You will be united in your actions, in your handling of the children, in backing up one another in love and prayer‚ in forming a united front in your discipline standard, and in demonstrating to the children your oneness and unity.

178. As you strive to be united in spirit around My standard, all else will then fall into place. Then, together and united, as you seek Me for your children's care, I will lead and guide with more specifics‚ geared to each situation as it arises‚ and your children will benefit, grow, learn and prosper. Then and only then will they be truly happy and secure in My love and care. (End of message from Jesus.)