Maria
May 7, 2003
For age 16 and up
By MariaMaria #638 CM/FM 3440 12/02
Continued from Part 1, GN 1025
The Magic Formula
1. (Jesus speaking:) Don't forget the magic formula: Ask Me everything! Let Me lead and guide you along each step of the exciting and challenging path of leading your junior teens to discipleship. I can help you avoid the pitfalls, I can show you where the good places are to rest and play, and I'll make sure that you always have food and strength for the journey‚ if you let Me lead you. That's the secret to making it through and reaching your destination—look to Me step by step. Don't lean to your own understanding, because it is a perilous journey, one more complicated than first meets the eye. But I have the master plan, and I will guide you safely through as you let Me lead.
2. Use the keys that I have given you! You will no doubt encounter many doors‚ many obstacles, many problems or difficulties, but the keys of the Kingdom can unlock them all. It is your duty and responsibility to use the keys, to fight for your loved ones in the power of the keys, to wield the power at your disposal. (End of message from Jesus.)
Look at It Like Witnessing!
3. (Jesus speaking: ) Some of our teens are like lost sheep in some ways. They're watching, they feel out of place, they feel out of the circle—they don't even know exactly what they feel! You almost have to treat them like teens you would meet out on the street and try to win them. They have to be won to the sample, feel drawn to the love. They're old enough to make their own decisions and choices‚ and they will. If they feel people treat them condescendingly or self-righteously‚ they'll be totally turned off. If you'd treat rebellious teens that were fresh off the street like that, they'd think you were totally wacko!
4. And that's the state some of our Family teens have gotten into. With teens who are in that state you have to change your attitude from, "This is a kid who has grown up in the Family and knows what we think and believe," to, "This is a rebellious kid from the streets!" It's almost like starting from scratch. If they're that rebellious and defiant, then that's the approach you have to take.
5. Some Family teens are in the same state as the defiant, rebellious teens on the street, who are very conscious of peer pressure and wanting to be cool. They have a lot of attitude; in fact, they're filled with it! It's an actual spirit at times, and very contagious—a spirit of anger, violence‚ foul language and rebellion.
6. The thing that this foul spirit can't stand is love and the power of My Name, the power of the keys. So if you go in love and in My Name and in the name of David, and claim the keys and are willing to fight in prayer and in the spirit, it will flee. The teen will either yield and make the right decisions and face the light, or yield in the other direction and become destructive and oppressed. The choice is up to them.
7. All of My children must face the point of decision—either to go on for Me or to turn away from the light. When they come of age, the choice is up to them.
8. The warfare for their souls is great, and when these children turn to Me they are powerful tools in My hand. They are brilliant and filled with gifts and knowledge and wisdom and power. But if they turn away, some go so far as to become filled with great darkness, delusion and violence, because they are targets of the Enemy and he goes after them with a vengeance! Once they yield to the wrong spirit, they seek after the things of darkness even more than the children of the world, because they are targets for those evil spirits.
9. This often happens to My children who know the truth and reject it—especially the youth of the second and third generations who rebel. They either face the light and are cleansed; or if they turn away from the light and continue to let the darkness in, they can almost be taken over. By "almost taken over" I mean that, though they lose everything, their soul is saved and they keep their salvation.
10. Although the decision is theirs, and totally theirs no matter what the circumstances, the part you play does have influence. By your attitudes and the things you say, the vibes you give off, you can encourage them or give them a little "push" in either direction. If you come off with a spirit of indifference or self-righteousness, you can give them an added push in the wrong direction. But if you're walking in My love‚ like I have said‚ "If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto Me."
11. Just walk in My Spirit of love and acceptance. That's all you have to do. You don't have to worry about what they're thinking, if they'll like you or not, or if you said the right thing or not. Just be filled with Me, and I'll help you to put yourself in their shoes and to keep a good balance, and you'll be doing the right thing. (End of message from Jesus.)
Text box:
12. (Jesus speaking:) This is an important point to keep in mind regarding your JETTs and teens, that the Enemy is trying very hard to keep them from becoming disciples, and there are all sorts of evil imps who try to persuade and influence their minds and hearts. This is not something to scare your JETTs and teens with‚ or use to overspiritualize any little problem they have‚ or condemn them more harshly, or deal with them more severely. Not at all. But as parents and shepherds, it would help you a lot to realize that they are often victims of heavy spiritual attack‚ and you should come before Me and ask Me to reveal who is fighting your children from the realm of the spirit‚ and then in your times of private intercession for them, pray against and rebuke those evil minions by name. You will notice a marked difference in your children. They will be happier, more receptive, lighter in the spirit. They will receive My Words more easily and readily, and will be freer to make the right decisions.
13. Of course‚ in order to win a lasting victory, it all comes down to them and their yieldedness, whether they yield fully to Me‚ whether they make the right decisions. But that is not something you can or should bang them over the head with. Rather, simply be aware in your shepherding that the Enemy is fighting them viciously, and fight for them through prayer and claiming the keys, until they are strong and mature enough to learn to recognize these things and fight for themselves as well. (End of message from Jesus.)
End of text box.
Boundaries Are Key
14. (Jesus speaking:) One key to winning the trust and respect of a young person who is struggling and battling is to put boundaries and guidelines into place, even firm rules, and hold that young person to them. Of course, these must be rules and guidelines that have been prayed about, that are good for them and needed and appropriate to their age.
15. This is a key that many people neglect, because when you're dealing with a young person who is troubled and taking out his inner confusion and rebellion on everyone around him, it's hard enough to just get by with day-to-day living with the guy or girl, much less try to get in there and shepherd and meddle in what they consider their private world, in an effort to help them. They give the clear signal that they don't want to be helped, they don't need to be helped.
16. The reality is that inside they are crying out desperately for help and for guidance. They're confused because they see things so unclearly. They're torn by their new emotions, the changes happening in their body and spirit, seeing so many new things in the world around them and wondering how and where they fit in. They want to be accepted so badly that they will go to great lengths, almost any length, in order to gain that acceptance and to feel that they're a part.
17. Make them a part and help them to find their spot by loving them unconditionally‚ but also by making things easier for them. Take away some of the unknowns that they're continually struggling with by putting some boundaries in their life. Even if you put down a good many guidelines for young teens, they will still have plenty of new experiences to keep their heads spinning. Believe Me, they do appreciate—albeit deep inside—the guidelines and boundaries‚ because they realize that it keeps them safe and protected.
18. Some young teens, however, seem to relish the thought of overstepping their boundaries. They give the impression that they want to try anything and everything, and the very thought of you setting down a restriction that could limit their access to freedom freaks them out—and they let you know about it! However, even these teens secretly yearn for the stability and comfort of knowing that there is someone who cares for them enough to set down guidelines and hold them to them. Even though they might balk, kick, fight, scratch and scream, they admire and respect someone who is willing to abide by their convictions and make them do the same.
19. Admiration and respect are two keys that can help to turn around the situation with a wayward or troubled young teen. It really does help if the teen admires and respects you, but they're not born with it. You have to earn their admiration and their respect, and that's where most people get stuck in trying to help teens. Many people try to earn their admiration and respect by being the kind of nice guy that they think they'll like, or at least figure is okay and semi-cool. But going the man-pleasing route is not the key to a teen's heart. They see things in that department very clearly, and they know when someone is trying to sidle up to them and win their heart‚ so to speak, or get them on their side in those ways. They don't go for it. Sure, they might seem to think you're okay for a while‚ but over time they actually lose respect and admiration for those who try to play both sides of the fence.
20. The only way to gain a teen's respect and admiration is to go about it the godly way, and that is to uphold what you know is right and do your best to bring him or her up to the standard as well. There has to be a balance, of course, and you can't be all strictness and rules. You have to do fun things with the teen too, and provide their needs and an outlet for their creativity and desires. But when tempered with the balance of upholding Me, the Spirit, and the standard of the Word, then you can get into some pretty fun and cool activities, and it will remain in the proper balance. And then the teen will feel the security and comfort of knowing he or she is safe, coupled with the fun and excitement that those of their age group need.
21. It's a fine line to walk, and those who are working with young teens need to seek Me regularly to remain on course. But to begin with‚ it's so important to establish the standard, explain it clearly, and stick to it. Admiration and respect aren't gained in a day‚ so don't be surprised if it takes some months to cultivate. Just look at those months as your boot camp months in working with young teens; you're getting in shape and they're getting in shape‚ and you're both learning to work together.
22. It's not going to be easy or smooth. You'll have conflicts, friction, and definite ups and downs. But if you don't establish that strong foundation and adherence to some guidelines, and if they don't gain a respect for the Word and the things of the Spirit, and you as well‚ then you'll never be able to make solid progress. Without those foundation stones, then any progress will be temporary or just for show, and that's not worth your time or theirs.
23. For their sake, and for the sake of their happiness and fruitfulness, you have to abide by your convictions and stick to your guns during boot camp time. They won't like it, and they'll chafe against it and kick, but once they see you mean business, that you're there to stay, and that you also love them, they will slowly gain respect and admiration for you, and for the Lord in you, which is the most important thing that they need.
24. Pray that you can be a vessel of My love--manifested both in boundaries, guidelines, and a strong standard‚ as well as fun, inspiration, excitement and happiness—to these dear ones who are crying out for input‚ but who are too proud, confused, or shy to express it. They want to appear grown-up, to not be looked on as children anymore, and that's why they try to conceal so much inside themselves, and not let on to anyone that they're struggling or have a lot of questions, doubts, and basic issues to be sorted out. They're afraid of being lumped back in with the kids, or even with the JETTs, with the era they just came out of, and they're dying to prove to themselves and to their peers and those older than them that they are cool‚ that they can make it—and not only that, but that they'll far surpass everyone else.
25. In short, they're desperate for encouragement and acceptance, and because of this‚ they need the boundaries and guidelines all the more to protect themselves from doing something or slipping into bad habits during this time when the urge to prove themselves is so strong. They don't have a balance and they can't gauge things for themselves, so they need your help, My help, and the help of their older brothers and sisters and friends in order to make it through this time in their lives and come out stronger, able to make it, and ready to be one of My disciples. (End of message from Jesus.)
Text box:
There is no across-the-board, set way to be except sincere.
*
The interesting thing about rules is that if you're faithful to follow through, then you'll have more room for occasional exceptions in the future. And this works both ways. If your teenager is willing to obey the rules and accept that he or she does not have license to do whatever they want‚ then this mature attitude can be rewarded by extra privileges.
End of text box.
Don't Compromise!
26. (Jesus speaking: ) One of the main ways of helping them in their walk and life for the Lord is letting them see your conviction and dedication.—To see that no matter what happens, no matter what circumstances or difficulties, you stand strong for what you know is right.
27. One of the weaknesses of this young age is often indecision‚ being torn between different opinions and choices, even good and bad, as the Enemy comes in with lying vanities and false impressions. It is often difficult for them to make up their mind and follow a certain path.
28. But it is also part of My plan to help them experience life and its different choices. It can be quite overwhelming for them and very difficult to follow the right path. So don't try compromising or going their way to try to win them. Stay on the right path‚ and with love and patience guide them through the difficult years ahead. (End of message from Jesus.)
Give Life a Breather Sometimes!
29. (Jesus speaking:) A sense of humor is one of the most essential additions to your bag when you're around teenagers. It's indispensable! You may be burdened with thoughts of how to pay the rent, where to deliver the baby, who's going to get the van fixed and pick up the monthly bulk shopping, and a myriad of other problems and responsibilities. But young teenagers are not burdened with the same things. They don't yet bear those responsibilities.
30. So it's a mistake to condemn or look down on teenagers for looking at the world in a less serious light than you do. Rather, you can take a cue from them: leave your troubles outside the door and have a good laugh once in a while! Sure, teenagers need to learn responsibility, but if their only concept of responsibility is your sad-sack face all day long and your groanings about all the work and problems you have, well, naturally they'll run the other way!
31. This may seem like trivial advice‚ but it's very important that you cast your burdens on Me through praise and prayer and prophecy, so that your young people see that you're trusting Me. It's very important that you pray for discernment, to know when to buckle down to the serious work of teaching and training your teenagers to work responsibly‚ and when to change gears and have a good laugh, or take some time off, or just give life a breather for a few minutes.
32. As My disciples and I walked through the hills of Galilee preaching, we didn't always talk about sober topics on the road. We joked and we told stories, we stopped for a dip in the river now and then, we picked fruit, and I always took time with children. You can take a cue from Me, and remember that your service for Me can and should involve enjoying life‚ and showing others how to enjoy it too. (End of message from Jesus)
Show Respect
33. (Jesus speaking:) Lack of discipline is a lack of love; lack of respect is also a lack of love. Neither should be left out, and they should not be confused with each other.
34. True respect is shown by acknowledging a teen's ideas, treating him/her as a whole person with thoughts and ideas that need to be drawn out and listened to. It takes time to show respect‚ and even more time to show respect to a junior teen who has emotions and confusion going on in his/her heart. When a teen is rebellious and needs discipline, it takes even more of an effort to show respect. But respect must be shown, and it must be shown in tangible ways—outgoing‚ concrete ways.
35. Show respect by including them in on your activities. Show respect by counseling with them about how to do their schooling, rather than just telling them how to do it. Show respect by drawing them out when they would prefer to sulkily stew in a corner or in their bed. Show respect by not leaving them to themselves. These are concrete ways to show them respect. It takes work, but it's worth it. (End of message from Jesus)
Be Transparent
36. (Jesus speaking:) Be a sample—not by scrubbing up whenever you're around younger people, but by living in such a way that would please Me‚ even if nobody else were watching!
37. Open your life and ask for prayer when you need it—for spiritual things as well as physical things. It's a very simple exercise that people often forget. In their efforts to be "a good sample," they tend to assume that asking for prayer against a bout of laziness, or an addiction to junk food, would be a terrible example and would send the younger teens off on tangents of doing the same things. But that's not the case.
38. If you want younger people to respect you, then be transparent in the sense that you show you're not perfect. Not just token confessions, but the real stuff. Teenagers know when you're being sincere; it's an instinct they have. It will help them to respect you more as they see that it's only Jesus in you.
39. Another way you can gain their respect is by not being too sensitive. There are many forms of sensitivity, but the two forms I'm talking about most here are, first, the sensitivity to problems, battles or even afflictions, where you go on and on about your woes—whether in the form of prayer requests or lectures to them about how hard you have it. After all, as teenagers, nobody suffers more than they do, in their opinion, so sometimes it's necessary to be a little tough. Share your weakness or affliction, ask for prayer, and get on with living with a smile on your face. They'll respect you for being humble enough to reveal your weakness, and then they'll also respect you for having the fortitude to keep your chin up and not moan about your problems all day long!
40. The second kind of sensitivity that has to go is the kind that manifests itself in your reactions to the teenagers themselves. You have to have a tough hide and give them the benefit of the doubt. Teenagers are often so self–centered themselves that they're a bit callous in their remarks‚ or unkind in their actions. They will learn with experience what kinds of actions or words are hurtful—they can even learn it through you—but it's important that you don't howl every time you get a little jab from one of them. It goes along with having a sense of humor. (End of message from Jesus.)
Live the Missionary Life!
41. (Jesus speaking:) There's nothing like living the life of a missionary that will win the respect and love of your children, JETTs, and teens. By living the life of a missionary, I don't mean working at a day job and just doing night singing on the weekends, or even taking care of people's physical needs through an occasional CTP ministry.
42. When I say missionary‚ I mean a missionary!—One who is sent with a purpose, a mission, to preach My Word, to make disciples of all nations‚ to live by faith and trust Me to carry them through. Seeing you as parents or shepherds live the life that you say God has called you to will do more to help them than almost anything could! Yes, they can decide what they want to do with their lives when the time comes, but what will they judge by? What will be their frame of reference? It'll be you and what you did or didn't do.
43. So please, dear ones, strive to live My Word, to follow closely, so that your children may learn what it means to be a "follower of the teaching," that they may want and desire and yearn to be like you, their parents and shepherds; that once they have experimented and tried out the fun things, the little thrills and frills of life, that they will, of their own volition, take on the mantle and hold their heritage and inheritance with a firm grasp, not looking back. (End of message from Jesus)
Be the Cork!
44. (Jesus speaking: ) You must be very patient, for they won't change overnight‚ even with everyone's prayers and support. You must be as the cork swinging from a thread, which repeatedly tapped on a very large‚ heavy object; and over time, the tiny cork prevailed! Even so, over time your love and prayers and understanding will prevail; for every smile, every kind word, every prayer, is like another tap of the cork.
45. It may not appear to make any difference, but over time it will all add up and bring the victory. What if the cork had taken one look at the heavy object and decided it was no use, that the heavy object wasn't going to budge? Or what if the cork had struck the heavy object once or twice and given up? Or what if the cork had gotten all worked up and tried to do it in its own supposed strength or at its own pace, and gotten out of the rhythm the one who sent it forth established?
46. You must not look at the situation through your carnal eyes, or get discouraged when you don't seem to be having any effect, or try to take matters into your own hands. The secret of the cork's success was simply being yielded to the one who set it in motion, and that's what's needed here: Simply yield to Me when I send you to give another tap in the right direction, and don't worry about the results. The results will come in My time as everyone does their part and as each of these young ones makes the decision to yield to Me. (End of message from Jesus.)
Text box
In a gun factory, an elongated bar of steel, which weighed five hundred pounds, was suspended vertically by a chain. Near it, an average–size cork was suspended by a silk thread. "You will see something shortly which is seemingly impossible," said an attendant to a group of sightseers. "This cork is going to set this steel bar in motion!" The cork was swung gently against the steel bar, which remained motionless. For ten minutes the cork, with pendulum–like regularity, struck the iron bar. Then the bar vibrated slightly. At the end of an hour, the great bar was swinging like the pendulum of a clock!
Many of God's children feel that they are not exerting a feather's weight of influence upon others, or making a dent in the bastions of evil. Not so. How powerful is the cumulative influence for good which emanates from the obscurest of God's children! (Good Thots 2, page 1203, #6).
End of text box.
Talk It Out!
47. (Jesus speaking:) This can be a very difficult time in their lives. One of the best things you can do is to try and get them to be open and honest about what they're experiencing. If they can get things out in the open, it will help them to see things in a better light.
48. Whether they're experiencing doubts, trying out bad attitudes, being rebellious, or whatever the problem might be, if you can get them to talk about it and draw out what they're thinking about, it can help them get a clearer picture of what's happening. They can see more clearly how the Enemy is tricking them and leading them astray. They'll be able to get a better picture of the mental warfare that's going on. Even though they may not be able to understand it fully, they will be more able to see how they're pulling away from the standard of My Word. This can help them to be more honest with themselves.
49. It will always be up to each individual to make their own decision as to which path they will follow. Some will choose the hard way to follow, and will have to learn the hard way by their wrong decisions; but on the other hand, some will be able to sort things out and learn to connect with My Spirit, listen to My still, small voice, and see how they need to stand firm on the principles they've been taught from My Word.
50. Do your best to be a friend—someone they can trust and learn to be honest with about their feelings and what they're experiencing and going through. Be a listening ear for them, a channel for them to be able to pour out to. You don't have to have all the answers‚ and you should tell them so if you don't. But this will help them to not have to hold it all inside and get caught in a trap of the Enemy's confusion. It will help them to have clearer minds and to know they have the support of someone else in love and prayer, so they don't have to go through it all by themselves.
51. This can be just what's needed to help many make it through this challenging time in their lives. If they can learn to trust in someone and experience their forgiveness and love, it will go a long way in helping them to learn to experience My love and mercy, so that this can become a real part of their lives. (End of message from Jesus.)
Make the "Home" Button
Always Available
52. (Jesus speaking:) You can't stop trying, and you have to give it your best, regardless of the circumstances. When someone is rebellious and trying to go in a way that I have not chosen for them‚ the best thing you can do, besides praying desperately for them, is to continually be there for them‚ showing them the right way back, should they desire to choose it.
53. It's like the "home" button on a web page. The idea behind that is that regardless of where someone goes on a website, they need to be able to get back home‚ back to the beginning. It's exactly the same concept. When someone manifests rebelliousness, you don't need to respond by trying to force them harder in the opposite direction, but you can't back down either. Exert steady, even, firm pressure‚ pressure which is always there. It's not increasing, but it's not letting up either.
54. Teens are like the wild ocean‚ and you should be the rocks that they break against, the strong cliff that can endure a little wild thrashing and whipping. The rock doesn't change; it just takes whatever the ocean throws at it in the same cool, calm, collected manner that it always has. With that stance, by the time the teen is ready to settle down, he'll know which way to go. Also, you won't have estranged them or alienated them in the process, because you didn't fight fire with fire; you remained constant regardless of what they chose to do.
55. This is an example of how important a firm standard is. If they step outside the boundaries, they'll be disciplined; but also you won't be cranking up the levels of punishment unless they repeatedly disobey again and again.
56. I'm not talking about deliberate willfulness, because there are those who are set in their own hearts to do evil, and those I cannot help until they turn to Me. I'm talking about those teens who are willful and rebellious, but not wholly given over to that negative spirit. I'm talking about those who are innately contrary and cannot control it, and need your help to teach them the boundaries and how to bring their spirit into control. You control it for them by not wavering either to allow excess or to punish excessively.
57. Again, look at nature. Crooked teeth and crooked trees are rectified by steady‚ even pressure over a long period of time. The orthodontist doesn't see you once a month and whack your bent teeth with a hammer and hope that holds them. No, he sets a brace in your mouth that always stays there, pushing a little bit each day‚ sometimes just a bit more than you're comfortable with, but nothing close to the pain of the hammer. It's like tying a sapling to a post. Again, you don't come along once a month and slap the plant over to the proper side, but you tie it where it will get the same support day after day after day, till in the end, it finally grows right. (End of message from Jesus.)
Recognize Their Need to Grow Up
58. (Jesus speaking:) Being a friend to them is a real key—not a friend in that you get down to their level and compromise the standard, but a friend in that you try to bring them up to yours. Share jokes with them, tell them funny stories‚ include them in your conversations. Then when they need help or counsel‚ you'll be the one that they come to, because you've earned their friendship. That will then be the time to lift them up spiritually by receiving a message of encouragement or instruction from Me for them, or giving them good godly counsel, sharing your own experiences, or even just sympathizing, praying for them, and helping them put things back into perspective.
59. It's really hard to make the adjustment when you have known them as a JETT or even as an OC who was sometimes irritating or constantly wanting to butt into what you were doing, and then they become a teen and need to be treated differently. The change that happens in their lives can sometimes happen overnight; from one day to the next they can turn into someone who is trying desperately to grow up, to be respected, to be counted as part of the adult and young people population of the Home as opposed to the child population, and the way that you treat them can make all the difference in how they make that adjustment.
60. You need to give them responsibility and treat them with respect, even though that can be very hard, as you feel they need to earn that respect first and you're sure they're going to blow it, and many times they do. The other alternative is to carry on treating them as children, and wonder why they become rebellious and want to get away from you. When your young ones start going through this phase, you need to pray and ask Me to help you to change your perception of them, to see them with new eyes and with a new vision. (End of message from Jesus)
Be Honest Yourself
61. (Jesus speaking:) This age is extremely judgmental and they judge everything by their own standard, which also changes from day to day. You can win their respect by being honest with them, truthful with them, yet accepting and listening, tolerant and fair. They generally want all things to be fair. And again, what is fair is determined by them and changes according to what they feel. Let them explain to you what they feel is fair and then discuss it. Often if they can openly discuss their thoughts with you, they will come to a good conclusion about what is truly fair, and once that is established and determined, it will be easier.
62. There is no easy way. Things change from day to day and they have new guidelines day to day. You need to stay honest and true to the line of truth and love. They will swing from extreme to extreme on both sides of the straight and narrow line of love. If you have a connection with them, it's like having a rope or string attached to them. As they zig and zag to both extremes, your cord of love will always bring them back. Eventually they will grow to know and understand the value of the true, straight‚ narrow line of truth and love.
63. You can win their respect by likewise being honest and open with them about yourself. They need to know you're human too. They know deep inside how human and messed up they are at times. They realize and know deep down how frightful life can be as they grow into it. They can feel embarrassed or ashamed because of these fears, and will want to know if you have had them too and if you can understand their deep fears and insecurities, even though they may have trouble expressing them or sharing them. (End of message from Jesus)
Seeing Behind the Rebelliousness
64. (Jesus speaking: ) Rebelliousness often stems from a hardening of the child's heart to protect from pain of rejection. So to get through that rebelliousness, the teen must be shown he is not rejected. Most rebellious teens have a great feeling of lack of worth. So the teen must be shown that he is worth the time, attention, and sacrifice.
65. A teen who seems to reject everything is one who is actually screaming out to be helped. A teen who seems to want to be left on his own is one who wants more than anything not to be left on his own. He withdraws because he needs someone to come in for him. He doesn't know how to get the attention, so he withdraws from the pain; then when you go into his world to pull him out, he rejects your effort. Those who wish to rescue their teen sons and daughters, or their teen siblings, or teen Home members, must pray diligently not to be personally hurt by the shunning of the teen, for this shunning is actually a cry for help. (End of message from Jesus.)
Keys to Winning Their Hearts
To the Lord
66. (Question:) What is the key to winning their hearts and helping them to know and experience the Lord's love in such a way that they will want to dedicate their lives to Him?
67. (Jesus speaking: ) The first and foremost key is prayer. Desperate‚ intercessory prayer can tie strings of love around their hearts and keep them from straying too far. It can pull them back when they're drifting or running away from Me and you. It can massage their heart and keep it warm and tender, even when they're trying to harden themselves to My Spirit, or are trying to enter into the world and shun the Family way.
68. The key is getting into their lives and finding out what's going on. You can't be afraid of them or intimidated by them. Despite their bold and brave show, you have to believe Me when I tell you that inside every one of those bold fronts, there is a soul that is longing for help, wishing that they could be close to someone and share their heart with them, and not be looked down on or thought of as weak. Let them know that you love them, that you're there for them, and that you're willing to help them through this time.
69. The key is getting their confidence, admiration, and respect. It's holding up the standard and not allowing them to pull it down. It's showing them that even though you love them so greatly, you're not going to allow them to besmirch or dirty the values that you hold so dear. And in their own training, you're going to teach them and require them to uphold and abide by a certain standard too. It's staying true and steady, not jerking in your reactions with them, but being a friend and support that they know they can count on, that they can't blow away‚ that won't give up on them the next time they flunk out‚ letting them know that they can be assured of your support, prayer, and love.
70. The key is unconditional love. They have to know that you love them, that you care about them, and that you don't look down on them. They have to feel that you understand the difficult time of life that they're going through, and that you're there for them, but not so involved in every detail and meddling continually that they're afraid to be around you because you'll over-spiritualize or make a big deal of small things, especially physical things—style issues, or phases that they're going through, experimentation.
71. They want to know that you're going to be Spirit-led. If you are, and they believe this, that you're generally balanced in your assessment of their current state, then they're going to be more accepting when you point out something that isn't right in their life‚ or an area in which they need to change‚ or a bad or ungodly habit they need to give up.
72. The key is to be a sample of an on-fire, Spirit-led disciple. You have to be living the Word yourself in order to turn on these young ones. You have to be rebuking the Enemy's devices in your own life—self–righteousness‚ pride, criticalness, shyness, timidity, fear of man, fear of stepping out to do something different, unyieldedness. You have to be a new bottle‚ hearing from Me, and ready to do the things that I show you at the drop of a hat. If you do these things‚ then I will give you wild and radical ideas that will spark the fire of your teens, which will show them that living for Me is the most radical and far-out thing that they've ever heard of!
73. They want to be the best, the wildest, the craziest, the most unconventional, the coolest. You can help them be that way by listening to Me and doing what I tell you. They want the experiences of a lifetime, but those only come by putting Me first and doing what I say. You can have a terrific Home and situation for your teens if you'll put the New Wine into practice and let it work miracles for you.
74. The key is in unity, thinking of them and pulling them in. Your Home has to be united and tight in order to go places and move mountains. In order to gain this unity you must sacrifice to pull the teens in, to think of them and make a place for them in the running of your Home, the decision-making, the inspiration level. Their needs have to be considered; and as you do that, they'll be more willing to help meet your needs. They'll be willing to give and take if you make the first step.
75. These are the main keys to winning the young teens to Me, to a life of service and discipleship in the Family. Again, I'll end with the key of prayer, because you can't go wrong when you use this key—there is no wrong or ill-timed application of the key of prayer. Use it continually‚ fervently, desperately, and you will see results. It must be followed up with these other points, but this is the most powerful key available to you, and it will work wonders. (End of message from Jesus)
Text box:
(Explanation, Jesus speaking:) In this case I was using key in the sense that it is a crucial factor, not the same as one of the keys to the Kingdom. But there is a key of prayer, which you can claim to help you be more fervent in your prayers and a better intercessor. (End of message from Jesus.)
End of text box.
Word Projects
76. (Jesus speaking:) Many of this age group are very familiar with small parts of the Word, but ignorant about other major parts of the Word and Letters. They may have learned some Bible stories or know certain Letters very well‚ but there is so much that they do not know‚ many treasures for them to discover in My Word, in the words of David and Maria, and in the other pubs that I have given you. Besides My Word of old, I have poured out My living Word to you in thousands upon thousands of pages for the last 30 years, and there are vast riches there, waters of Word to swim in! There are dreams, visions, spiritual experiences, counsel, teaching, practical matters, testimonies, and much more—a lifetime of Word!
77. There are Word projects to plan and aim for—reading through the entire book of Genesis or Psalms or the New Testament‚ for example, or the tales of the kings and judges of old and how they rose and fell. One might read through a certain Daily Bread that the teen isn't familiar with, or one of the earlier volumes‚ or methodically go through Good Thots or the Book of the Future or the MOP or the Book of Remembrance. Find something that they're interested in and set up a Word project along these lines so that they might develop a love for My Word and a stronger connection with Me.
78. It helps too if these young people can read about the effects of the Word, both in the lives of you who have joined the Family and upon the world itself. Let them read testimonies from the past pubs of Family members of various nationalities and interests who joined, and how their lives were transformed. Then let them read of the effects of your outreach in countries such as Russia, China, Africa, India and Asia, and how thankful the recipients of the Word are, how much they appreciate the Family feeding them spiritually and how much it has helped them. Let them read the FARs.
79. You could even let them read testimonies and biographies of My great men of old, whether it's in the "Famous Characters" section of Good Thots, or the stories in your pubs of men such as George Mueller‚ Hudson Taylor, and David Livingstone, or biographies which you can get from libraries and bookstores. (End of message from Jesus)
[Note: See also the CVC course "Great Men and Women of God" (REL HH-06), available on the CVC CDs as well as the CVC Web site (www.cvcollege.com).]
Help Them See Beyond Today
80. (Jesus speaking:) It is very important for you SGAs to remember to attribute the good things in your life to Me, as your Provider and Husband. You must show those who are younger how almost every good, fun, or positive thing in your life comes from My hand, yet without coming on too strong to the point where they would write you off as someone who's preachy or holier-than-thou, and then you lose all effectiveness as a testimony.
81. There are two things that will reach the teens and cause them to want to stay in My service, two main perks, and you must find ways to introduce these slowly without blowing them away. The two are:
82. Both of these you have in My service, and both of these are enough to keep you happy your whole life no matter how difficult things get! Both of these are well worth giving up the System for, without a doubt. Both of these are what will catch and keep them, just as they've caught and kept you.
83. You must impart this knowledge just as those who were older when you were young imparted it to you. You didn't always know what the adults were going on about when they talked about having something "more" in life, that "higher purpose." But they didn't let up, and eventually you saw it for yourself.
84. You can go through life making money and making yourself happy‚ but at the end of it all‚ what have you done? Only a life for Christ and others will last. And that's what you need to show to those who are younger—not just preaching the concept, because it's pretty basic, but the fact that that idea is what keeps you where you are and what makes you happy, even in spite of the sacrifices it takes to do what you do.
85. You have to tell them, you have to deliver your soul. Again, you must do it carefully and slowly, but you need to be on the lookout for ways to introduce these concepts without condemning the younger ones, and without exuding an air of self-righteousness.
86. When a younger person is murmuring, that's always a good time to do this. Don't hit them with the, "Oh, it's so much better than the System" thing, but rather with the, "Yes, I'm sorry that bothers you" thing. "There are things that bother me too, but the way I see it, it's worth it. It's tough, it's hard sometimes‚ but I would never trade it for anything else. Because when I think about it‚ there really isn't anything I'd rather do‚ and I'd never honestly be happy any place else."
87. All of you who are dedicated to Me can say those words‚ but how many of you have? Have you been a sample? Have you witnessed in your own small way? If you haven't, you should. Be a missionary in your own house, a testimony of what I've done for you to those in your Home, to the younger ones who still need to decide.
88. You want to reach the lost? Reach those who are lost in your very own Home. Be an evangelist to them and give your testimony. It's more like witnessing than you know—except that instead of preaching My salvation, you're pushing discipleship and the life you live for Me, something that you believe is worth giving up whatever is necessary, even if it's tough. Do you believe that it's worth it? You believe it by how much you live it and preach it. (End of message from Jesus.)
Activities and Fun Are a Necessity!
89. (Dad speaking:) One of the things that can really make or break a young person and how they see the Family and their lives serving the Lord is in the experiences that they have and the amount that is poured into them. Many of the young people in the Family today are in Homes that are desperate for personnel and have many children and are really short on people to help, so their junior teens become vital, desperately needed Home members. The problem with that is that at this age a young teen cannot get total satisfaction and fulfillment out of being involved full-time in a ministry, helping to take care of their younger brothers or sisters all day, or cooking day in and day out with no input or training in that ministry. Many of them see the System as the only way to get out of the monotonous routine of their day-to–day lives, and many of them have big dreams and ideas of what they will do once they leave the Family.
90. The challenge that you have before you is to make life serving the Lord and life in the Family all that it could and should be to these young ones. Many of you have the frame of mind these days of "when" your teens will leave the Family instead of "if." But I want to tell you right now that your children and young people do not have to leave the Family. It is not something that will happen come what may.
91. If you do all that you can for these young ones—share the vision with them, make an effort to make their Word times alive and exciting and applicable, take them on road trips to far-out places, pour into them all you can‚ organize fun activities for them where they can fellowship with those in other Homes, make sure they get as much input as possible on things they're interested in—then if they leave after that, you can at least have peace in your heart that you have done what you could and that the final decision is up to them.
92. One perspective that is going to have to change in many Homes is thinking that these things are luxuries for young people, that activities and inspiring happenings, classes, and a chance to burn free witnessing are things that are nice if they happen, but that the young people don't really need them; in other words, they are not a top priority. The reality is that these things are necessary for your young ones' survival in the Family and their future service for the Lord! Even if that young person is a vital part of your Home, and even if it would add pressure to the schedule for you to work those things out for him or her, these things are still a need and something that these young ones must have.
93. The board vision helps‚ because there are more events planned and more things for the young people to participate in as an area. But still, Homes are going to have to catch the vision that these things are very important in the lives of their young ones, and not something that they can pass up if they want to keep their teens. Even if the teens bear some adult responsibilities in the Home, they cannot be compared with adults in their need for fun‚ relaxation, variety, and input. (End of message from Dad.)
The Clinical Method!
94. (Dad speaking:) What has proven to be the most effective method of teaching or instruction? What is it that makes the great men of God? It's not the sermons, the lectures, the scholastics, or the pounding of the fists. It's not the admittance to colleges or the membership in exclusive clubs. It's the clinical method! It's the examples of you‚ the parents, you the brothers and sisters‚ you the shepherds, you the friends!
95. If you want to see your children grow up to be the leaders and teachers of the Endtime, winning the world for Jesus, then you've got to get them out there practicing now! Take them with you on your follow-up, give them Bible classes to lead‚ have them lead inspirations, get them to see what a changed life looks like, what happiness and joy can be found in giving the Lord's love to others! (End of message from Dad.)
Find the Key!
96. (Dad speaking: ) Every young person's heart has a unique key—a unique and separate code that will unlock the door of their heart. You as their parents, shepherds or friends, must seek the Lord as to what that is. It doesn't stop there. Once you have found the key to their hearts, you must use it wisely and not exploit it for your own advantages. Then you must ask the Lord to touch their lives in the way that He knows best. Only the Lord knows what your junior teen's code is—but He'll show you as you ask Him, and then watch your teen‚ and let the Lord reveal to you what makes them tick, what makes them happy‚ what you can do to help them grow.
97. Once you do your part and continue to follow through on what He's shown you, then it's up to them. I know it might sound a bit frustrating to realize that you don't control the outcome after all you've done and been for them, but it really does come down to them eventually. That is the freedom of choice. That's what it's all about: Doing your part until it's their turn to decide for themselves. When it really comes down to it, it's a personal choice that your young person has to make. It comes down to them and God, their decision and their responsibility. No one else is to blame. (End of message from Dad.)
(See also "The Silver Lining," ML #3166, Lifelines 24.)
Ol' Black Sam
98. (Jesus speaking:) Even after they've made the choice to serve Me‚ you must not let up, for that's when the real battle begins. It's like the story of old black Sam. Once they decide to serve Me, all hell breaks loose! So in a way, the initial choice and decision is really the green light the Enemy waits for in order to start the purging—what I use as the lesson-learning process.
99. It is then that you must step in and offer help, guidance, solace, sympathy and direction. It is then that My connection with them will come to the fore and enable them to know Me like never before. It is then that the lessons get put into practice, and what has only been theory up until this point becomes reality.
100. This process of listening to Me, of connecting with Me in that special way, then continues for the rest of their life. The initial decision is important, very important, but each and every day after that decision is almost more important, for it is then that the Enemy really lets loose. So do your part, pray for them and hear from Me as to how you can turn that key in their life; then once they've made that decision, continue to do your part to help them and be there for them in every way.
101. Don't give up once they say they want to be a disciple, a missionary. Don't say, "Praise the Lord! He made it!" and leave it at that. But really hunker down and prepare for what will come—the tests, the trials, the lessons, and everything that life brings.
102. It's worth it! The pain, the time, the sacrifices, the joys‚ the thrills and the victories are all worth it! Well done, good and faithful servants, stewards, and guardians of My young ones, enter thou into the joy of your Lord! (End of message from Jesus.)
Lovingly Guide Them Through
(Received by a parent after a run-in with their JETT:)
103. (Jesus speaking:) Love is the answer. Pray for the spirit of peace and call on the keys to rise above the anger and upset feelings. It is the spirit of the Enemy that gets in and wants to cause aggravation and disunity.
104. This young one is growing and learning and experiencing new things. I know each of My children, and when they reach the right age and maturity, I open the doors to new influences in their lives. They are allowed new and different influences to test them‚ to grow them. This is new for them and they don't always know how to handle it or react.
105. So you, the parents and shepherds, have to know what's going on and not respond to the problem in a reactionary way. You have to see what's behind it and understand what it is that's going on. And‚ of course‚ the way to know and understand and see clearly is to ask Me to speak to you about it in prophecy‚ for I can make it clear. Then lovingly take them aside and try to help them see what's happening. This is how they will begin to learn and see what they're growing into, and discover how to handle the new influences in their lives.
106. They need these new things. Up to this age, I protect them and shelter them from this. But when they are of age, they must feel and experience these things so that they may grow. Your job is to help them understand the many new influences they experience and help them see how they can react to them, make choices, and also how they can call on the keys to overcome these things.
107. These are difficult years for them, but the more you as parents and shepherds understand and lovingly guide them, the better they will be, the less resentful they will be, the stronger and more mature they will grow.
108. It's as much a learning experience for you as it is for them. None of you are perfect‚ and your reactions may not always be perfect. But as you bring these things to Me, I can put it all back into perspective and help to bring the Romans 8:28 out of it all. So don't worry and don't get discouraged about it. You're doing the right thing; you're praying and asking and listening. (End of message from Jesus)
Teens Need Challenge, Fun,
Shepherding, Responsibility,
And Friends!
109. (Dad speaking:) Teens tend to see everything as black and white. They're often very carnal minded and see things more in the flesh than in the spirit. Thus it's hard for them to fully grasp the Lord's love for them if they aren't able to see that love in human form through someone who's letting His love flow through them.
110. Teens are not going to just up and decide for themselves that they're going to serve the Lord with all of their hearts. They won't just automatically believe that the Lord loves them unconditionally and wants them to love Him in return. Even if they've been brought up all of their lives in the Family, they'll still reach a point in their lives where they'll begin to question their beliefs, the Lord's love for them, their parents and shepherds' love for them, as well as their place and their future life for the Lord.
111. The Lord has made it this way so that teens will reach a point of decision and choose to love and serve Him for themselves, of their own accord. But they usually won't be able to make this decision without a little bit of help—and sometimes a lot of help—from those around them. It's like they have to be witnessed to all over again. Their pure and simple childlike faith no longer sustains them. The Enemy attacks them with his doubts. It's a time of decision. So they need the love, help, and support of others.
112. Most teens need frequent and obvious manifestations of the Lord's love in the form of time, attention, help and shepherding. It's not enough to just shepherd them spiritually. They also need to have fun, to enjoy life, to be challenged. The main things they need are challenge, fun, shepherding, responsibility, and friends.
113. Teens need those who are going to reach out to them, those who are going to reach into their world and help them to make it. To feel the Lord's love‚ they need to feel it from others. They need to feel love‚ which is most often manifested in time. They need to do fun things. They need to feel like someone appreciates them. They need to be challenged with a ministry or job. They need to look at life as a joy and pleasure. They need to know that serving the Lord is not just boring and dull, but fun and enjoyable. They need to see a balance. They need shepherding and clear guidelines, yes, but they also need times to relax and let their hair down. They need challenge and enjoyment or they'll get bored.
114. When teens are bored, it's a vicious cycle. Once they reach a state of boredom, almost everything in their daily life is then boring. If a teen is bored with life in general, then everything in their life is boring. The Word becomes boring, prayer becomes boring, anything spiritual becomes boring‚ school becomes boring, and they start looking elsewhere for excitement, and they often end up looking in the wrong places. The Enemy starts showing them his so-called excitement, and they jump for it and want to take a peek and see what it's all about. When a teen is rebellious and bored at the same time, that's a recipe for disaster, as these two things combined cause them to look for fun in the clutches of the Enemy.
115. Teens need excitement in their lives‚ and if they don't get it from good and wholesome sources, they'll look for it elsewhere. If you can give them excitement in a good and healthy environment, if you can break the boredom cycle‚ then everything in their life starts to become more of a joy. They start enjoying their Word time, prayer time‚ and the spiritual things in their life. Sometimes you have to go a little overboard for teens as you try to make their life exciting, but it doesn't have to last forever. It's just for a time as they get over that hump in their life. If they can see that life for the Lord is fun and exciting, if they can make it over that hump, then that's a major battle won.
116. Teens are often looked upon as a great work force. There's often a tendency to depend on them for their physical help in certain areas of Home life, rather than tapping into their heart and mind to find out what they're really interested in and what would challenge them. Everyone has to do some of the boring chores of life that just need to be done in order to keep a Home running, including teens, but it's important that this isn't what their life is composed of entirely.
117. Let them focus on the jobs or ministries that they're interested in, that challenge them. If those jobs or ministries aren't available in your Home, then ask the Lord how you can create them, how you can make them happen. Or combo with another Home in the area and see how you can work it out.
118. If your teen wants to learn cooking, then see if you can have someone tune into that and teach them how to be a real good cook. If your teen wants to learn to sew, see if you can help make that happen for them. If your teen wants to learn to be a secretary or a computer programmer or a web designer, see how they can be trained, and then give them hands-on experience. Give them the responsibility of making the Home's monthly newsletter, etc.
119. It can be a lot of work to try and adapt your Home to training your young people and teens, and it will take extra time and sacrifice, but it's well worth it. They'll still have to help out with the different tasks in your Home that must be done to keep it running. But remember, they need challenge, challenge, challenge—and more challenge! If we can't give it to them in the Family, then they're going to go elsewhere to look for it.
120. Their care, their need for fun, their need for challenge, is all a part of showing them the Lord's love. The Lord wants to give them the best care possible in every area of their lives, both physical and spiritual, and He needs you to help channel that love to them.
121. Some folks in the Family are bored—not just the teens. Some SGAs are bored. Some of our FGAs are unchallenged and wonder if they're "over the hill" or if the Lord still wants to use them. Well, this is an area of dire need—the care of our teens, this next generation. You want a challenge? This is one of the greatest challenges of all, to win our teens for the Lord! You want a great ministry that will reap great rewards here on Earth as well as in the world to come? Be a helping hand to a teen! Be a friend to a teen. Even if you can't devote your full time to it, do what you can. Like I said in "Change the World," even if you can't change the whole world, change your part of the world. Even if you can't help all of the teens, help whoever you can—whether it's one, two, or three.
122. Our teens need the Lord's love shown to them in a physical way, through physical people. Love is spelled time and friendship. A friend will go all the way—will even die for their friend if need be. Are you willing to give your life to help our upcoming disciples? Or are they going to fall into the clutches of the Enemy because they don't find in the Family the freedom, challenge and excitement they're seeking? If they don't find what they're looking for here, where will they find it? Nowhere. Well, they might find an imitation of happiness or an illusion of freedom in the System, but that's exactly where the Devil wants them and where he's trying with all his might to pull them.
123. It's a big tug-of-war in the spirit! The Enemy and all of his demons are on one side of the rope trying to pull it to their side‚ and the Lord and all of His spirit helpers are on the other side of the rope trying to pull it in their direction. Hanging in the middle of the rope is one of our teens‚ representative of many of our teens in the Family right now.
124. Heaven is fighting for his life and service, and so are the forces of Hell. They're pulling with all of their might, and it seems like the Enemy's winning. You may wonder then why the Lord, being all-powerful, doesn't just pull the rope in His direction and save the teens for Him. Well, He can't. He's bound by the rules of the game that forbid Him from using His full power. He's bound by the rules of choice and decision-making.
125. What Jesus needs is you! He needs your help. He needs all of those who can to get on His side of the rope to pull those teens in the right direction and out of the clutches of the Enemy. With your help the Enemy won't win this tug-of-war for the lives of our teens. As you reach out in love and sacrifice to win these teens to the Lord and the life of service He has for them, we will win the tug-of-war! Heaven will win and the forces of Hell will be defeated. But the tide of this battle for the hearts and souls and lives of our teens depends on you. Not your neighbor or someone else, not that other person in the other Home who is good at working with teens, but you! The tide of this battle depends on you.
126. What are you going to do to help win this tug-of-war? What are you going to do to help win our teens, to help our teens, to be a friend to our teens, to encourage our teens, to challenge our teens, to shepherd our teens, to love our teens‚ and most of all, to be Jesus for them—to be His hands‚ His feet, His all?
127. What would Jesus do if He were here on Earth today? What would Jesus do to help that teen in your Home? Would He stand to the side and let the Enemy pull him away from the light through boredom, lack of challenge, lack of love for the Word, loneliness, and his many other tricks? No way! If Jesus were there in your Home, He would love that teen. He would befriend that teen. He would sacrifice His time to help that teen, to talk to that teen‚ to have fun with that teen, to answer that teen's questions. He would do all that He could to help that teen make it.
128. But Jesus can't physically be there right now in your Home to help your teen, so He needs you. The only way He can help that teen is if He can work through you. Will you let Him work through you? Will you let Him love through you? Will you let Him use you to help that teen make it? That's what He wants from you. He wants you to be His vessel of love.
129. Even if you don't feel like you're good with teens or that you can be much of a help‚ the Lord has a job for you. Ask Him what He wants you to do and what He expects of you today, and then pray desperately for His strength to help you do what He shows you. It's so important, because the Lord needs our next generation. He's got great things in store for them. He needs their fire and their fervor and their all. He wants them all! There's not one to spare! (End of message from Dad.)
Keys for Junior Teens
If you call on the keys of renewal, the Lord will change whatever is necessary within your heart so that you are able to fulfill your duty to raise your young people in the care and counsel of His Word.
Call on the keys of revelation and insight‚ claim the Lord's mind and thoughts; then listen, receive‚ believe and obey. The keys of obedience and empowerment will enable you to do whatever is necessary to help each of your children fulfill their calling for Him.
Commit the specific needs of your young people to Me, calling on the keys of change, and they will go to work on your behalf.
The keys are diverse and changeable—they become what you need them to be—and as you intercede for your young people, they will fulfill your petitions in the best way possible.
If you feel out of touch with the youth of today, call on the keys of wisdom, insight, flexibility, discernment, conviction, and change, and you will see miracles! You will be given new understanding, new faith, new vision, and the difference in your interactions with the young people will be tangible.
Claim the keys of absorption and receptivity when you read My Words—not only for your own sake, but so that you might become the living Word, and impart My joy, faith and conviction to your young people.
Never fear to ask for an outright miracle when you call on the keys. The keys of miracles specialize in circumstances that are beyond the power of man to control.
As you call on the keys of yieldedness for your young people, their difficult decisions will become easier and they will feel more at peace.
Claim the keys of protection to shield your teens from the attacks of the Enemy. He never rests, so your prayers must not rest either. As you pray, I am able to surround your teens with a force field that protects them and makes it easier for them to make the right decisions and stay within My will.
Call on the keys of love for your interactions with your young people, and your love will become My love—great, unconditional‚ understanding, balanced, and wisely imparted.
Continued in Part 3
Copyright © 2003 by The Family
End of File