Maria
May 7, 2003
Keys to Victory series
Honesty and communication in teamworking, sensitivity, and how to take criticism
By MariaMaria #602 CM/FM 3386 4/01
Dearest Family,
1. In this era of greater works, the Lord is expecting more of us in just about every area. One area that the Enemy is constantly fighting‚ and that we have to constantly persevere to maintain, is our unity. In order to have good, strong unity, we must be honest with each other. Being lovingly honest is difficult. It's humbling to be honest, and it's humbling when others are honest with us. It can also be difficult to receive honest comments in the right spirit. In this GN are messages that we gave to the COs at the summit regarding the importance of honesty, especially in leadership teamworks. If the Enemy can keep you from being honest, he can effectively destroy your unity.
2. Many of you are already in leadership—whether as a VS, Home teamworker, a shepherd of our young people, or a leader of our growing groups of Active members and friends. But I want to remind you that these leadership lessons are important for each of you, whether you're officially in leadership at this moment or not. Remember that the Lord has promised to bring many more into our folds if we'll open up to receive them. He's promised that He's going to need each Family member to give of the great resources you've been given. He's going to depend on you to be shepherds. So as you read these lessons, please apply them to yourselves. Some of them you can apply now; others you'll need later. Don't brush them aside thinking you don't need them just because you don't have a title. These are also very important principles to apply with the implementation of the board structure. Honesty and good communication skills will be vital in making the boards work as effectively as they need to.
3. There are many reasons that it's difficult to be honest. For one thing, the Enemy just plain fights it! It's humbling, it takes time and prayer to do it right, and there are sometimes unpleasant repercussions. Well, we all know that it's good to do the humble thing—it's just a fight. As far as the time it takes, the Lord has made it very clear that "with such sacrifices, He is well pleased." And as far as the repercussions, which are very common and real, I want to share with you a message the Lord gave about how to see them in their proper perspective, as well as how to minimize them. That way we'll do away with the Enemy's excuses right from the beginning, so you can concentrate on fully absorbing the Lord's counsel without being hindered by those nagging fears.
4. As you read on, you'll see that the Lord clearly considers honest communication worth the risk of a few complications. Of course, there is a balance, and the responsibility lies with you to pray and ask the Lord to help you implement this counsel prayerfully and in the right spirit. But with all that the Lord has given us about hearing from Him and letting Him guide us and give us instruction on how to go about things, we really don't have any excuse for not obeying in a situation like this, even if it's touchy, because the Lord can safely guide us through it. Amen?
5. The following messages and excerpts are pretty self-explanatory, so I haven't added a lot of commentary. Some will apply to your situation more than others, but please take all you can from them and go on to greater victories in the area of honesty and good communication. It won't come easily, but it's worth it!
Is the Risk Worth It?
6. (Question:) One of the trials a person faces after being open and honest about their battles is that it will affect their relationship with the person they're telling, especially if those battles include any kind of complaints or offenses involving the other person. When you feel you have to be honest‚ and the Lord might even be testing you to see if you will be honest, afterwards you can be hit with some really big trials: that you'll be misunderstood; you won't be trusted; you'll be labeled; the things you say will be held against you; you won't be taken into their confidence again or given the same responsibility; what you said will permanently damage your relationship in the future; the other person will feel very uncomfortable and will therefore pull back from being close to you and things will actually turn out being worse, not better.
7. These aren't just fears, either. This doesn't happen when you pour out your bummers to Mama and Peter‚ but not everyone is like Mama and Peter‚ and sometimes the things listed above actually do happen. So that's one of the legitimate reasons people are fearful of communicating openly, especially when they know they're out of it and their presentation will likely be negative‚ accusatory‚ inaccurate, unbalanced‚ etc. It's when someone is getting hit by the Enemy and is confused that such communication is probably the most needed. But there are fears that prevent it, or if they do communicate, then there are often serious divisions as a result, and people are offended and deeply hurt‚ etc. This is probably especially true if they're communicating at a distance, via written communications. That's even more difficult, because there's no immediate feedback or reassurance.
8. So there must be some reason why the Lord wants people to be honest and get their feelings out there, even sometimes at the risk of problems. How can you be honest with your mate, co-workers, teamworkers or shepherds without it causing deep breaches in the spirit? What should the person who is the recipient of such communication do to help bring about the desired results, especially if the communication is about personal issues involving that person—like someone feels that person is not being open, or they've been opinionated, or they've shown partiality, or they're not living the Law of Love in their sexual sharing, or whatever? (These are just examples of personal issues that can often come across as complaints or accusations.)
9. There are probably things the person who is communicating should do too. But sometimes when you're really out of it and under severe attack and possibly have spiritual problems too—like with pride‚ sensitivity, etc.—your communications are not going to come out good. But that's probably the time it's the most important to communicate so those complaints, resentments or hurts don't take root and become bitterness. Lord, please speak to us about this.
10. In summary, the questions are:
11. • Why do You often tell us to be honest when You know that it will possibly have big repercussions?
12. • How can situations like this be handled without making things worse? It seems it's too much to expect that the person sharing their heart will always express what they want to in the perfect manner. Of course, this is the goal and they should be prayerful, but often when you're going through trials or battles of this sort, you don't present things in the best way. You tend to say things in a critical, self-righteous, one-sided manner. Are there any guidelines for people who want to be honest and get something off their heart? Are there any guidelines or counsel for the person to whom they're speaking? What can the recipient do to help things, or what reaction should he or she have?
13. (Jesus speaking:) There will always be some risks involved when someone honestly shares their heart with a co-worker, teamworker‚ mate, friend, and so forth. Often that person fears they'll be causing hurt feelings‚ they'll possibly be labeled‚ strained relations will result, and so forth. I know this can sometimes happen. However, the risks involved do not outweigh the desired benefits that can be brought about when people do share their hearts. The risk involved in good open and honest communication is not necessarily graver than the risk of holding things in‚ letting things smolder and grow into hurt feelings, misconceptions, and bitterness.
14. There are risks on both sides, so you must consider where the greatest risks lie. This is the question to ask yourselves: Where does the greater risk lie?
15. At times it's easier to think that the "greater risk" lies in communicating, if that communication threatens to bring about ill feelings that can cause someone to get hit with big battles—thinking they'll be misunderstood, or that they'll lose someone's trust‚ be labeled, have things held against them, will no longer be taken into the other's confidence‚ possibly not be given the same responsibility, or if they think that by honestly communicating their feelings they'll permanently damage the relationship in the future, or if the recipient is sensitive. There are many things that can enter into this equation, causing one to think that honest communication isn't worth the risk that could be involved.
16. The reason it's sometimes easier to think the repercussions are "high risk" and more detrimental than the dangers of holding things in is because these possible reactions and results are more visibly outstanding than the negative repercussions of holding things in. These reactions from openly communicating tend to be more upfront and personal, and can dampen any relationship. You can often see and feel the immediate results. Whereas when you hold things in, the detrimental results are often a slow‚ grinding process. It's more often a subtle process, one that by outward appearances is more easily controlled in the beginning, and therefore, to the carnal mind, more seemingly harmless, or the easier way. This is a false notion.
17. When people smolder inside, when they're holding things in, those things are festering and growing into bitterness. You can sometimes sense the bad fruits of this, yet because it's often unspoken and more undercover, it's less upfront and in your face. So for a time this seems the easier path, the path of least resistance or of less confrontation. This is not always so, however, for when bitterness and resentment take hold, they're as giant ferocious monsters‚ and the end result of a grapple with these can be far more dangerous and deadly! By the time the fruit of these hidden growths becomes apparent, it's much worse, poses a greater threat, and can be far more lethal.
18. Again, the question you must ask yourselves is, which is the bigger risk?—The risk you take in sharing your heart and having to deal with the repercussions, or the risk you take when you hold things in and choose not to have open and honest communication, and thus let matters smolder and fester inside?
19. Sharing your heart is taking a risk that has consequences, and it can have very serious repercussions. However, My hope and expectation is that My children, especially My intimate brides, can exercise the power to rise above when faced with these repercussions. I've given the children of David great light and truth. I've poured into you these many years, given great volumes of instruction, counsel, and shared much about the inner workings of the spirit. In this era of action, it's time for My intimate brides to mature and to walk in the truth that I have given. It's time to rise above the petty matters that threaten to hold you down. It's time to break loose from the ties that have you bound.
20. I could say simply and plainly that it's time to be like your queen and your king—simple as that. I could say it's a simple matter of taking on My divine nature, of showing the fruits of My righteousness in your lives. In reality, it is as simple as that. It's a simple matter of using the keys I have put in your hands‚ of exercising your power to rise above—to rise above your fears, to rise above feelings of sensitivity, and to rise above your pride.
21. The scenario you have brought before Me of the difficult repercussions from communicating honestly is a good example of how one can exercise the power of rising above. I have mercy on you, My loves, and I know this fights against your flesh that cries out, "That's easier said than done!" Yet I ask you to put away these leanings of the flesh‚ these cries of the carnal mind‚ and to put on My mind in these matters.
22. The bottom line is that this is the era of action, and these are fighting days. This is not peacetime but wartime. The Enemy is out to devour anyone and everyone he can. He's constantly looking for his next meal; those who don't follow My instructions will be seriously injured and risk being devoured altogether.
23. You must remember that you're fighting a war. It's a war of the worlds, a war over the hearts and minds and souls of men, a war over your fruitfulness and your service to Me. If you constantly remind yourselves of this, it will help you to see the need to do all you can to follow through on what I show you. I've instructed you to have open and honest communication, for I know the benefits far outweigh the risks. I've instructed you to lay aside hurt feelings, sensitivity‚ and misconceptions‚ and to not let pride have dominion over you.
24. There are risks in every war; there are risks that must be taken on every field of battle. This is what war and fighting is all about. Therefore you must face the fact that you'll always be taking some risks, for this is the life I've called you to. However‚ keep in mind that I've also given you ample protection; that is‚ I've given you the keys to the Kingdom and the power to rise above, something far greater than the risks involved.
25. Remembering that you're fighting a war should help to encourage you that just because there are risks involved, that's no reason to back down. The only way to fight this war will be to fight it together. Closing up and not communicating is a roadblock to unity. Lack of unity is a greater risk in the big picture than the possible hurt feelings that communication can sometimes temporarily bring.
26. You are My vanguard, My top troops, those who I expect to withstand the winds, the heavy rains, and the fierce storms. In this era of action, My brides can't expect to be as hothouse plants. I've called you to be strong trees, mighty oaks, those which can withstand the wind and rain and fierce storms. I don't expect you to be as the sands of the seashore—that which is driven with every gust of the ocean winds. I need you to be as granite rocks, those who stand firm on My Word, on My promises‚ who use the keys to the Kingdom I have put in your hands, who exercise the power to rise above that I have given you. I call you to put aside foolishness; to stand on My Word instead of your feelings; to walk by faith and not by sight; to put aside pride and to put on My divine nature.
27. If My brides are putting all this counsel into effect in their lives, they will not be giving in to sensitivity, hurt feelings, worry, fear, and so on. Likewise, they should not be overreacting, allowing pride to have dominion, hardening their hearts through closed-mindedness, or brushing off the thoughts and feelings of others. Yes, you will experience these things or be tempted with them‚ because you're human, but you don't have to give in to them! You don't have to back down or give up or quit! When you're hit with them, it should only serve to remind you once again that you're in a war, and make you fight all the harder for what I show you is the solution. To this end‚ here are some specific points and counsel regarding these questions you ask:
This is when the recipient must take the key I've put in their hand and use it. Use your keys to the Kingdom, turn that key, call out to Me for the power and grace to take it, and I will give it. The rule of thumb here should be—just take it. Listen and learn; listen and encourage the speaker to speak his heart. The recipient today may be the one who needs to share their heart tomorrow. Walking a mile in another's shoes, putting yourself in the other's place, will help you to be more understanding.
7) It's important for the recipient to then afterwards come to Me, ask Me about everything that was said, and let Me speak to you about it. Let Me give you explicit instructions on what to do about it.
8) Everyone should realize the two-fold purpose for open and honest communication. It is to help the one sharing their heart to be able to unload‚ to be able to say what they think and feel, get prayer if need be, and not give place for the Enemy or allow things to fester and smolder and cause problems later. And it's also for the purpose of helping the one on the receiving end, to provide safeguarding‚ and to help them see the areas that they can stand to change in or improve in.
Failure to communicate is not only a threat to the one who holds back from sharing their heart‚ but is a great threat to the one who is the recipient of the communication; because if they're denied hearing what others think and feel‚ they're not getting the safeguarding that they need. This is a tremendous handicap. They're denied an opportunity to rise above, to grow‚ progress, improve, and move forward.
It's a cycle, My loves. Lack of honest communication affects everyone; its repercussions are far-reaching for all parties. The one who fails to communicate when I'm leading this way also fails their brother or sister, their fellow mate and co-worker. This thought should be an incentive to not want to fail the other.
9) The "love the sinner, hate the sin" principle can and should be applied here. If everyone remembers that the goal is to improve and move forward, that the goal is not to pick on anyone, it will be easier.
10) The recipient has an important position, in that they need to realize they might simply have to rise above. It's a golden opportunity to rise above sensitivity, hurt feelings, stubbornness and pride. It's pride that holds people back from humbly taking correction and safeguarding from others. Therefore they should view listening to another as an opportunity‚ even if it involves hearing about their own faults‚ failures, and weaknesses, even a few facts that are mixed up. Nevertheless, it's an opportunity to rise above their pride and should be viewed as such.
11) The recipient's attitude should be one of thankfulness for the opportunity to hear how others perceive him and his actions, if that is what is being shared, rather than being critical of the one who is sharing his heart. If the recipient has questions, he can come to Me later to get My mind on these matters. When someone is pouring out their heart to you, even if the subject matter reveals some of your own shortcomings, it is never the time to start zeroing in on someone else's lacks.
12) A key factor in making everything run smoother all around is that everyone must accept the fact that unity is something worth fighting for. I've spoken volumes on this subject, and now My brides are put to the test. United you stand, divided you fall. Keeping this thought ever-present should help everyone fight for unity. It's that simple—united you stand, divided you fall. You can't be united when bad feelings, sensitivity, and pride are present. Fighting for unity means safeguarding each other; it means give and take. Everyone has their times to give it (communicate honestly), and everyone has their times to take it (be the recipient of what's being shared).
13) COs, shepherds, teamworkers‚ and those in positions of responsibility should seek this kind of heart-sharing and go out of their way to ask for it and welcome it. They should even go so far as to take it as a sign that something is wrong if no one is pouring out their heart to them in this way. Everyone has shortcomings and areas to grow and improve in, and those in positions of responsibility, knowing that because of their position it's often hard for others to point things out to them, should seek such things.
14) Ask for prayer to be able to take it. Ask for prayer to have the right mindset and reactions when things are pointed out. Ask Me for the help and the power to be able to rise above.
15) The best way to avoid the risks involved is to use the weapons I've put in your hands. Use the weapons of love, prayer, praise, thankfulness for safeguards, humility, asking Me everything, and getting My answers in prophecy. Use the weapon of unity; guard it and fight for it at all costs! (End of message from Jesus.)
Text box:
Hot tip: Heavenly Counsel on Counseling
28. (Jesus speaking:) Sometimes when you have to communicate about something which is a sensitive subject or you have to give correction, it helps to pour out your heart to Me first, typing your prayer (or recording it on a Dictaphone)‚ and telling Me all the points which you feel need to be covered or which are on your heart. Then, after pouring out everything in your heart to Me‚ ask Me to cleanse you of your own spirit, opinions, feelings and emotions‚ and ask Me to give you a script of what to say to the person and what to cover and how it should be presented.
29. Receiving this from Me in prophecy will help to prepare you to present things lovingly in the spirit, and might even help to resolve much of the tension or problem right there—as you are able to see things more from My perspective and feel My love for the person.
30. After you've received this from Me‚ read over it and highlight the points you need to remember. Share it with your teamworkers or shepherds if necessary‚ and receive their input and prayers. Then you are going into the situation with a heart full of My love; you have gotten My perspective and My counsel on how to present it.
31. In some situations you might even feel led to read parts of it. But that is something you would have to seek Me about‚ as for some people that would make it easier, but for others it could make it much more difficult. The important part is pouring out your heart to Me in detail, and then receiving My perspective and counsel to cleanse your heart and mind and prepare you in spirit to handle things with My love‚ in a spirit of humility and openness. (End of message from Jesus.)
End of text box.
(Note: The following messages were received before we fully understood how to use the keys to the Kingdom, how to call on them and make use of their power, so they don't mention the keys.)
Overcoming the Fear of
Being Misjudged or Misunderstood
32. (Mama:) Recently, our sweet Husband gave us another message on the importance of good communication, and the important role it plays in our lives for Him. He gave this as counsel specifically for the COs, but as I brought out earlier‚ these are important lessons for everyone, whether you're in leadership now or not. With the implementation of the board structure, many more of you will be required to work in close teamwork and exercise your communication skills, and with our increased Family membership, more of you will be called upon to shepherd.
33. This message is specifically talking about the aspect of sharing your hearts openly and honestly, and being upfront about your needs, weaknesses, lessons, etc. This is important whether you're in leadership or not, so please take it to heart.
34. (Jesus speaking:) Good, open, honest communication is a must if everyone is going to progress in the era of action as I desire. I have spoken about communication and have given you important counsel and guidelines along this line during the time of the summit, but everyone must realize it is an ongoing process and you must constantly be aware of developing and moving forward in this area. There are several reasons why you must do this.
35. For one, the Enemy is constantly seeking ways to hinder, to slow down, and to stop the process of good communication; therefore My brides must stay a step ahead. Satan knows that if he can get people to stop communicating, or (and this is something that is just as dangerous) if he can get people to compromise in their communicating, then he has won the battle right there.
36. This is something I would like to address here: The danger of compromising in communications. Most people do not fully realize or see how they're compromising in communicating, for this is part of human nature. The Enemy knows the weakness of the flesh, so he plays on the natural, inborn tendencies to tone down the quality of your communications, either through holding back or coloring them in a certain way. One of the main ways he does this is by tempting the individual with fear of what may result, with the temptation to hold back "just a little" or "some things" or "color it this way or that way," for fear of the consequences. The tendency to fear being completely upfront and honest is born of fear of being misjudged or misunderstood.
37. This fear of being misjudged is something My officers especially must learn to overcome. They must rise above this mindset and break this habit, for it will only work against them in this new day when I desire them to have a clear, open, honest and upfront communication with you, My queen and king, sans fear of being misjudged or misunderstood. When fear is present, faith can't grow as it should, and there need to be strong bonds of faith and trust amongst you in this era of action.
38. In unity there is strength, and in honest communication there is freedom and power‚ because through honest communication, My purposes are established, and through honest communication liberty is found.
39. I wish for all My children to be open and honest, and for all to feel like they can bare their hearts at any time to their shepherds. Even when some are found lacking in how they go about sharing what's on their hearts, even if what they share is not always delivered in a nice, neat‚ pretty package, nevertheless‚ it's better out than in. As officers, I need and expect the COs to encourage this honest communication and reporting among their flocks. Everyone should feel the freedom to speak up and say what is on their heart to the right person at the right time.
40. I have said many things about using wisdom in your speech, about being prayerful in what is said‚ and so on. And though it is always wise to be prayerful, again‚ the "better out than in" principle applies here. For though all should be prayerful, at the same time, they must not fear; they must trust that even if all is not perfect, I'm in control, and they must share their hearts with their shepherds.
41. Oftentimes when something is heavy upon someone's heart‚ they may not be able to express themselves in the best manner. I know this‚ My queen and king know this, and I have given them divine insight and wisdom to discern. I give a measure of this discernment to My officers as well, for it comes with the anointing for the job. Therefore honest communication and sharing what is on your heart is a very necessary part of your lives, and something that you must continue to cultivate.
42. You do well to exercise your power to rise above when it comes to overcoming the fear of being misjudged or misunderstood when communicating. You can do this by doing your best to be prayerful, yet trusting Me for the consequences. You must be prayerful in your communications, but trustful at the same time, for the two go hand in hand. I will never let anything happen that is not for your good and the good of all. There is no "get in trouble" with Me, neither with the king and queen; there is only get better, do better, progress, grow‚ and advance. (End of message from Jesus.)
How Honesty and Openness
Affect Your Teamwork
43. (Mama:) Here's another message from the Lord with more about the importance of honesty. Some people tend to hold things in rather than being open and honest about their burdens, problems, questions, trials, things they don't agree with, etc. As our Husband explained above, there are a variety of reasons why someone might do this, many of which could seem valid. However, often when you just hold things in and don't say anything, things fester.
44. Why is it important to be open and honest even if you feel you're risking some negative repercussions?
45. How do you go about such heart-sharing in order to accomplish the most good possible and minimize any possible negative side effects?
46. What are the dangers of holding things in and not being open and honest?
47. How does holding things in affect your walk with the Lord, your relationships with others, your effectiveness as a teamwork?
48. (Jesus speaking:) Throughout history, the leaders who have truly been the greatest, the most effective and the most solid have been those who have been honest, open, and able to communicate. I'm not speaking here of politicians who connive for gain and popularity, but of true leaders of the past who were motivated to effect change. Of course, worldly leaders go about this in a different form than I've instructed you to, but the general principles are the same‚ and the benefits are largely the same. Those who are forthright and who don't hold things in get better results. The people who they work with (or rule over) know just where they stand, and consequently things get done in accordance with that. Everyone is aware of the score.
49. As a Family‚ I've taught you that your manner is very important when you're being honest‚ and that you shouldn't hurt others unnecessarily through being honest or sharing your heart. That's because the natural tendency of man is to lack balance in this area of honesty. But many of you have had training in learning wisdom in communicating for many years‚ and now the time has come to swing the pendulum more to the other side—of being more open and forthright—and to achieve a godly balance.
50. Many often hold back and keep within their heart things that they feel or that are weighing on them. They do this for a variety of reasons: for fear of hurting others, not wanting to discourage them or put another burden on them, not wanting to make someone feel that you don't like them or that you have it in for them personally‚ not wanting to stumble someone‚ knowing that they're already going through big trials of their own. This is not good‚ and many lessons are lost this way. Not only are the lessons lost, but the closeness and unity that comes from heart sharing and honesty is lost.
51. I know that being honest is difficult. I had many encounters on Earth where I too was faced with the choice of whether to be honest or not. I knew that I should speak the truth in love to one of My disciples, a friend, or even a leader of the day, but it was hard. I knew the reception might not be the greatest. I knew it would hurt in some cases. I knew that they would rather have love and sweetness from Me, and I was tempted to not bring up such a matter many times. But I yielded to My Father, and I asked Him for counsel about exactly how to present My feelings and thoughts, and how to make it most acceptable. Once I had received that instruction, I prayed for courage and faith to deliver My heart and soul, and then I did.
52. Being honest and not withholding things that are on your heart—whether they're about your husband or wife, your teamworker‚ your shepherd, your friend, your sheep, or whoever—is part of the price of leadership. You won't be able to be a completely effective leader or one that people will feel comfortable with if you're not consistently honest. You will also be robbing those around you of one of the prime functions that you are supposed to be providing, and that is your honest and prayed-about counsel and direction. You will also be robbing yourself of the help, understanding, explanation and victories that you more easily receive when you're honest.
53. Holding things in hinders you from receiving My full victory in an area. If you're battling with something that your teamworker has done and you're not in full agreement with it, or you think they're getting a little off track in some area but you're not willing to point it out to them and humbly share your heart for fear that they'll be unhappy with you, that you'll lose their trust or friendship, or that it will strain your working relationship, then you're hindering both your teamworker and yourself.
54. You may not know all the facts or details, or even know if what you feel is right or not, but you should pray and ask Me what you should do about it. If I give you the go-ahead to talk to your teamworker about it, then you should, lovingly and prayerfully. It's still difficult, I know, but you owe it to your teamworker, as a friend and as a fellow leader, to express what's on your heart, and to give both of you the chance to help set things right.
55. If you don't agree with something that's going on, that's often the hardest time to mention something. You wonder if everyone else is in agreement and if you're the only one out in left field. "Maybe I'm just sort of off track today," you might wonder. There are a host of decent-sounding reasons that the Enemy will load you down with, most of which, sad to say, effectively convince you to "let things be" for a while‚ and consequently you don't bring the matter up, or at least don't for a long while. And by that time, things have gotten much worse and have festered in your heart and life. Meanwhile, you've been at less than your best because you've been harboring these things in your heart and haven't been able to give your full attention to the job ahead of you. Or even if you think you have‚ it's been overshadowed somewhat because something's building up between someone else and you, or between you and Me.
56. There can never be a full blessing on your life when you've got something in your heart that is unconfessed. By using the word "unconfessed‚" I don't mean that you've done something wrong that you haven't confessed. When you have something on your heart that is weighing on you or bothering you and you're not sharing it with others or your shepherds and getting prayer, that is something which is unconfessed; it's something the Enemy can use against you. I don't mean for you to hold things in; therefore when you do that and you don't make the effort to communicate, it is a sin.
57. It's a sin that is common to man‚ and one that even I was tempted with, so I do understand. But I also want you to understand how important it is to your spiritual life to make honesty and getting things off your heart a good habit, rather than making it a habit to leave things unconfessed in your life.
58. It's so easy to sweep something under the rug‚ and most of the time it's done with the excuse that‚ "I'll just let it pass." "I'll trust the Lord for that." "I'll just wrap that in a bundle of faith and put it on the shelf." Well, that's good to do‚ after you've given the matter to Me and been honest with the appropriate people. But I have not given you wisdom, strength, or understanding to simply take these matters in your heart, mull over them‚ and figure them out yourself. These things, no matter how small you may feel they are, do affect you and do wear on you in a negative way.
59. Another very convincing line of reasoning that the Enemy has no doubt successfully used on you a time or two is this one: "But if you tell him/her, they'll be very offended and then you'll have more problems than when you began. It'll hurt them, and they'll be sensitive and won't understand!" In many cases that can be true. Situations can be very delicate, and many people are sensitive and don't respond to honesty very well.
60. That's where you have to seek Me desperately, because it's not My will to remain silent in most of these cases. Sometimes there is a time to wait, or to pray further about your presentation, or to tailor your approach according to the situation. But in most cases, I still advocate honesty and truthfulness, because it will be the other person's lifesaver if they can only accept it. And in order to mend breaches and hurts, honesty is again needed.
61. Often the times when you fall short the most are when you have something you should be honest about with one of your close co-workers. That's when your honesty is put to the test the most, because you're going to have to get up the next morning and face him/her again, remedy whatever problems there are, trust him/her, counsel with him/her, etc. And that can be difficult.
62. But it's worth far more than not saying something. When you let something slide, it usually builds up in your heart; whereas if you humbly confess what you're thinking or feeling and are honest, then it clears the decks. There may be a bit of a rough go there for a while, but if you pray and love and encourage each other afterwards, then you can start again on an even better foundation.
63. You who are leaders are responsible to help shepherd each other, and part of this is through your personal honesty with one another. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's just part of life—kinks and knots arise that need to be worked out. The Enemy tries to come in daily and drive wedges between you, so it's vital that you keep pushing those wedges out through committed honesty and openness.
64. If you don't see the importance of it and you're not willing to make it a habit‚ even to your own hurt, then you'll run the risk of washing out‚ because over time you'll accumulate so many hurts and negativities‚ questions and wonders, that you'll find it hard to place your faith and trust in Me in others. And that will seriously jeopardize your ability to be one of My Endtime leaders.
65. It also affects our relationship, because I require an open and honest heart to fill and bless. I can't pour into you fully when you are so full of grievances, misunderstandings, or questions that you haven't gotten ironed out with your co–workers or others. So you're really the main one who stands to lose from not being honest.
66. The true leaders and shepherds are the ones who do the job to their own hurt. They're the ones who take the correction; who bear it bravely; who take the flak from those under them who don't understand the whole picture and criticize them; who are loving and patient with those who rail against them and condemn them; who are weak enough to admit their failings and seek Me for help; who are humble enough to be honest with others and share their hearts, in order to create and maintain unity‚ and to help their brothers and sisters stay on the straight and narrow, without exuding a spirit of condescension‚ condemnation, or judgment. They speak the truth in love‚ and do it as unto Me.
67. Those are the kind of people that are able to go the furthest and fulfill My perfect plan for them, because they're willing to go the distance and do the tough things. They aren't here for themselves; they're looking to the city that hath foundations, of which I am the Builder and Maker. They have their eyes set on Heavenly things, therefore they're willing to endure the grime and toil of daily living and the messes that can come along with it. They're not going to compromise and choose a smoother path over the one that will take them to the peak of the mountain, even though the rocks and thistles and brambles are a bit uncomfortable. They have a goal and they know where they're going, and because they have met the requirements I've set before them, the climb and the eventual victory is glorious.
68. And more than anything, the rewards that await them here in Heaven for their faithful service are marvelous! I know the difficulties of honesty, and the hurt it can bring to others and to you as well. But as long as you're seeking Me and speaking in love, in line with what I've confirmed to you and instructed you in, then loving hurt is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it's just what is needed to pull someone through, or what's needed to make you into the more effective leader that I'm calling you to be.
69. So think about it. Search your own heart to see how true a leader you've been in this sense, how honest and open and forthright you've been, in love. How much have you swept under the carpet or set on the shelf that has only ended up remaining in your heart and holding you back? I'm issuing a renewed call and commitment to honesty‚ and if you want to ride the new wave of Family leadership, then this is a key area to strengthen yourselves in.
70. I can help you, even if it's your weakness. I can turn it into your strength if you yield and determine to change. Anything is possible with Me, and with work, prayer, and effort on your part, I can help you to progress and grow in this area of your life. But you have to want to, because it requires sacrifice and humility, and I won't force that on you. But I will help you if you determine to make that change, and when you do, you'll feel My blessings and anointing all the stronger, as you'll be closer to Me, closer to others, and the true shepherd that I want you to be. (End of message from Jesus.)
71. (Mama:) And here's more on the subject from our dear Dad—always a great one for honesty, God bless him! Because of his obedience and honesty, we have a Family and a revolution.
72. (Dad speaking:) Honey, honesty, as I have said, can be a mixed blessing. Some people know that it's good to be honest, yet when they've done so, when they've brought things out into the open, bared their heart, and tried to be honest, they find that their personal revelations are not greeted with such enthusiasm! If the recipient doesn't know how to respond, it may send the person attempting to be honest into a tailspin, or scare them, or make them feel rebuffed. Some people aren't used to being honest, and then when they are‚ they go too far, or disregard the consequences, or fear the results.
73. There are those who suffer in silence, sometimes for years. Some know that their personal questions, revelations‚ or disclosures will cause others trials, so they refrain from speaking out, and then when they finally do, it may be in anger, hurt, or bitterness, because the thing they've hidden has festered and grown worse during the time it was not treated.
74. So I say that it's best to encourage people to be honest, to say what's on their heart, to have the faith in the Lord and in others to disclose personal or trying things that are hidden in their hearts. Some of these things are burdens from the Lord; some are fears that need to be dispelled; some are miscommunications that need to be straightened out; some are just problems that no one knows about that can easily be resolved.
75. Although there are many risks in being honest‚ the good results outweigh the bad. It's much better to be honest when you can, to have the faith to be so, because it will produce a good result.
76. Of course, there are times when the most loving thing is to withhold your counsel or your advice or your disclosure of something you know may hurt the other person. This is not what we're addressing here. This is wisdom—the love that gives you the understanding of how to use the knowledge you may have without hurting anyone. That's one reason the Lord advises in His Word, "Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth." There are times when people know something that is better kept to themselves. Or they may even know something that the Lord has revealed to them about a person or a situation that is better kept to themselves. This is not the type of honesty that we're talking about—the feeling that you have to blurt out everything the Lord shows you, or everything you know, or everything you've even heard about a person or a situation.
77. This can develop into gossip, too‚ where you feel that every personal thing you've heard should be public domain, known by everyone, and disclosed to the next person you see. This is not the type of honesty that we're talking about. In this case, it's good to hold things in, to be wise, to let the Lord show you when‚ if ever, you should mention or disclose a certain bit of information that you have about a person or a situation.
78. The type of honesty that is beneficial‚ and that people should be encouraged to have‚ is the type where you're not afraid to bare your heart about yourself—your burdens, leadings, desires, the direction the Lord is leading you in, or the ideas He's given you. All these things are necessary to share with others, and they'll be helpful in the long run for everyone, if you can share them.
79. So how do we encourage people who have a tendency to hold in these personal things to begin to open up and give them out? First of all, we should encourage an atmosphere of loving respect and consideration for each other. We should make people feel unconditional love, so that even if something shocking or odd (to us) is disclosed, we don't react in disgust, or fear, or go running the other way. We should also allow ourselves to be open to whatever the Lord wants, and not have preconceived ideas ourselves which will cause people to feel that there's no use in speaking up. And we should encourage that person, whenever they do begin to come out of their shell‚ that their contribution is valid and needed.
80. There are many ways to encourage people not to hold things in when they have a tendency to do so. The main way, of course, is to make that person feel love and acceptance, and to make them feel that they're understood and loved no matter what—unconditional love. This is a terrific breeding ground for openness and honesty.
81. And the other thing you can do is tell the person what they will gain by opening up. Tell them that others want to know what they feel and think and want. They may think, "Oh, really? Okay, well, here it is." In other words, they need to be drawn out. And as they do so, they'll find unexpected and unparalleled rewards.
82. Of course, some people are quiet just because they don't have anything to say. They kind of go through life happily, without many trials, and are quite uncomplicated. But most people do have wants, dreams, ambitions, things they would like to accomplish, desires they would like to fulfill. In drawing someone out‚ you're allowing the precious seed of the Lord's leading in that person to be nurtured. You see‚ the Lord puts many of these desires and leadings within each person‚ and in drawing them out, you are in effect watering the seed that has been planted by the Lord.
83. You have to take it from the point of view that it's the Lord Who's working in a person's life. If they have bitterness and hurts that need to be opened up and talked about, then the procedure of letting all this come out is much like a surgeon's gentle, tender, delicate removal of a cancerous tumor. It hurts, and there's a recuperation period, but sometimes the "operation" of getting it out is the only way that the person will get the victory. If the tumor is removed‚ then the wound, treated with love and prayer and understanding and Word and faith, will heal and it will be gone.
84. But sometimes the hurt is deep and festered and infected, and in that case, removing it is much more painful, more difficult, and can hurt more. It can take longer to heal, and it can be a torturous process. But the Lord has the healing, the solution, the victory. So removing these deeper hurts that people are afraid to talk about takes very, very gentle care and lots of patience. But by applying the Word, prayer, faith‚ prophecy‚ nurturing, and care, there can be great victories won over things that people have never even talked about.
85. Remember, prayer can do wonderful things in these situations. When someone brings something up that seems so difficult, so ouchy and hurtful that you just cringe to hear about it, one thing that you can always do for them is pray with them. That's a wonderful response‚ and it will work wonders. It will make the person feel that they've been considered and not blown off or rejected. It will set the Lord to work cleaning up the problem, and it will give peace to the heart of the one you prayed for.
86. Bringing up past hurts which people are reticent about or reluctant to discuss is like opening a can of worms, you may feel. But the Lord has the victory, and He has healing, and He has good spiritual health for those who have been holding these things in. It simply has to be treated, handled, addressed‚ and prayed for. The Lord likes to do this type of healing. He's a specialist at it, in fact, and has healed many people of deep hurts.
87. So it's very good to encourage people to be open and honest—about the past, about things that worry them or irritate them or plague them—and then to trust the Lord for His healing of them. (End of message from Dad.)
Not Wanting to Rock the Boat?
88. (Mama:) This next message has points which are not only good right now, but which will be very important to take note of and apply as the boards take shape. Those of you who will be sitting on the boards will probably find a whole new opportunity for growth in your communication and teamworking skills!
89. (Question:) Jesus, what about people in teamwork meetings or in everyday life who tend to just hold things in, not because they're overly personal matters, but because they just don't want to rock the boat, and want to go with the flow, and don't want to be the one to bring things up. Sometimes these people may have very good ideas and leadings from You. How can people like this be encouraged to speak up and not hold things in?
90. (Jesus speaking:) It is as your Father David has said—you can ask. When there's a teamwork member who seems reticent, reserved‚ and like they're not contributing‚ then someone should keep on asking them if they have anything to say‚ any contribution, any ideas. This will encourage the person that their ideas are needed and wanted. Some people present their ideas more forcefully and plainly than others. Some have good ideas, but aren't practiced in sharing them. So all of this will take practice, and in the teamwork situation, the more experienced should work at drawing out the less experienced, so that there's input from all sides.
91. Those who are normally reticent, who don't want to rock the boat‚ who would rather just let things go the way the majority is going‚ need to take upon themselves the responsibility of hearing from Me to be sure there isn't something I would like to say to the group through them. They shouldn't abdicate their responsibility by holding back; they can ask Me if there's something they should say, and then also ask for the way to present it‚ so that they can present it in a well-balanced, wise way‚ still working in counsel and in teamwork with others.
92. Sometimes the shy ones, when they do begin to speak out, can be a little huffy if their ideas are not readily received, or if people don't see that this is something they received from Me, or that it's as important as they think it is. In other words, they may think, "Here I went to all the trouble of praying about this idea and how to present it, and now no one believes it's of the Lord." They can be a little more intense, because it cost them a lot in the first place to speak up.
93. In that case, they need to really ask Me for help in their presentation. Those who are less experienced may, in fact, be too overbearing in their presentation, whereas the more mature and wise ones may be more low-key, because they've learned more faith and trust in teamworking.
94. So encourage all to trust Me‚ to express their ideas and their leadings, and then to keep coming back to Me to break the tie when there's a difference of opinion. Pray that the more reticent ones will give what I give them, and that all will learn to speak in respect and love for each other, and I will give the victory and use these teamworks to produce much that is fruitful, rewarding, and helpful to the Family. I love you. (End of message from Jesus.)
More on Communicating
In Teamwork
95. (Mama:) Again, this is not only good for you who are presently on teamworks of any kind, but those of you who will be sitting on the boards should also take special note of this next message! These are very important principles to apply and start working on today, so that when the time comes, you can be a good board member. Of course, these are principles and lessons which you SHOULD be applying every day, in all your interaction with others, whether you sit on a board or a Home teamwork or not. But the fruitfulness and effectiveness of the board structure will depend on everyone applying these principles personally.
96. (Dad speaking:) I really admire our teamworks—anyone in a shepherding ministry—because they have to have the wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Job, the listening skills of little Samuel‚ the love of God, and the people-handling skills of Noah. Noah was an expert at managing his crew of people‚ his sons and daughters. They were stuck together as a team, there was no way out, and they had to learn to get along and do the job God called them to. Can you imagine what a terrible situation it would have been if they hadn't been able to get along?
97. Our shepherding teamworkers are saints‚ in my opinion, because they have to learn to work with different personalities—maybe some of whom they don't particularly like. But they're desperate to do the Lord's will and they learn to work together, to humble themselves before each other, to do whatever it takes to be a good‚ strong team. And it takes a lot to be a good teamwork‚ so you've really got to hand it to our shepherds for the unseen sacrifices they make in order to serve you. It takes humility and yieldedness. Noah couldn't have run the Ark and his crew of helpers if he hadn't been pretty humble and yielded.
98. Now Noah knew things some of them didn't know, because he had heard straight from God about the whole project. He had a direct hotline to Heaven and personally received instructions, personally had a very good handle on things, knew what was right and how to go about it. God talked to him daily and told him what to do and how to do it. Have you ever wondered how Noah got his family to follow God's instructions‚ how he ever managed to enlist their help to build the Ark and get the animals in? It was a pretty insane-looking project and plenty of people were scoffing, so how did he get his kin to agree and work together with him?
99. His family had questions, disagreements about the project, different opinions. They had a lot to talk about and hash out, and they weren't all meek and mild personalities. Believe me, one of his sons was pretty strong-willed about what he thought should be done and how to go about things. Another of his sons was the meek type that didn't like confrontations‚ and when anything got a little too difficult to handle, he'd withdraw. Even if he disagreed with the direction things were going, if he felt his opinion wasn't being received, he'd pull out of the conversation and look to Noah for help.
100. There has to be a people handler. There has to be someone who can see the whole picture, who isn't set on one way of thinking, who can put their personal opinions aside in order to see the situation clearly and make a wise decision. I asked Noah how he did it, and he said, "No one's perfect, and in order to work with imperfect people, you have to give them room to operate according to their faith." You have to give, even when you don't think it's right. You sometimes have to allow things even when you think they're a little off track. You have to agree, even if you think you have a better way. You just have to bend to other people's ways of doing things sometimes, their way of seeing things, even their preferences; otherwise you isolate yourself from the talents and anointing of others.
101. If the situation is such that people are usually giving in to your preferences, the way you want things done, then eventually people will feel they can't count on you to be open–minded. They'll hesitate to counsel. They won't seek out your counsel or look forward to your counsel if they feel your norm of operation is to control each situation to your way of thinking. Noah's family had to feel his support in the spirit, his encouragement toward their communications, his openness of mind to their questions or ideas in order to get the job done and to do it in harmony and unity.
102. Your teamworkers have to feel listened to, no matter how zany or wacky you feel their ideas are. You co-workers can let them know that you disagree, but the important thing is that you do it in a way that leaves them feeling encouraged. People will feel encouraged even if you disagree with their point of view if they feel your support in the spirit. And they'll feel that support if they feel you're open-minded, open to listening, open to receiving an opposing point of view.
103. Sometimes when you have to hit your point again and again in order for it to be received, it could be because it's not meant to be. If it's a struggle to get people to see things your way, maybe it's a square peg that you're trying to fit into a round hole. There's more than one way to do things, and even if you'd prefer to do things a certain way, it doesn't mean it's the best way.
104. Teamworking is an art; it's a very delicate, sensitive thing at times, because people are sensitive. That's why I admire our teamworks for being willing to make the sacrifices necessary to work together in unity, because it really requires a lot of give and take, a lot of getting to know each other and each other's personalities and faith. Everyone on a teamwork is needed. The Lord puts you together because He knows that each one brings gifts and talents to the table that are very needed for the job. Some are more talented than others in certain areas, and if you're one of those people who are very talented in one or many areas, then it can be difficult to set your ideas aside and let others present theirs. If you're someone who is capable, in control, has years of experience, and knows how to handle situations, then it can be difficult to trust your teamworkers and not lean on your own experience and capability.
105. Sometimes it's a matter of feeling responsible, of not wanting to blow it, of not wanting things to go amiss, of wanting to do the very best job or to give the very best service possible in a situation. That feeling of responsibility can be very great—sometimes so great that it can cause you to close your mind off to some options‚ afraid that they won't work. You can be afraid to try someone's idea or to accept someone's opinion out of fear that it's not the best. But if you close your mind off, it can stop the flow of counsel. If you're too set in your opinions, it can hinder communications, cause a feeling of disunity, a lack of openness, and a lack of desire to counsel.
106. Not everyone is easy to talk to. Some people are strong in their presentation and it can be difficult to communicate with them. But you must give people room to operate according to their faith, and even if you don't personally have the faith for it, support their faith as best you can.
107. You're all saints in my book. Teamworking and shepherding are some of the most difficult, sacrificial‚ dying–to-self jobs there are. Anyone who's willing to serve and shepherd deserves a great reward, and one day you'll be rewarded in the way you really deserve. You might not get all the rewards and appreciation you truly deserve on Earth, but just keep your eyes on Heaven, when He'll give you the rewards you really deserve.
108. So don't let this discourage you. If you feel you're one of those people who has a little polishing to do in your communication with your teammates, don't be discouraged. It's a small thing in comparison with all the good you do, the wonderful help you are‚ the work you're accomplishing‚ the progress you're helping to make‚ the sheep you're sacrificially loving and tending to. The work couldn't go on without you‚ and the sheep wouldn't be as happy without your loving care, so don't lose sight of the big picture and the good fruit that's being borne because of your love and loyalty to Him. (End of message from Dad.)
How Much Honesty Is Beneficial?
109. (Question:) How much honesty is appropriate and beneficial among teamworkers? How important is honesty? What kind of honesty should there be? How can you know when to let something pass that bothered you‚ and when to bring it up and be honest?
110. (Dad speaking:) By and large, I'm in favor of honesty. I'm in favor of speaking your mind and encouraging people to do so, because most people (when they're not with their familiars, with their closest loved ones) do tend to be a little reticent. Most people are not overbearing, and particularly people who have exhibited a great deal of humility, who are not known to be overbearing and pushy, can tend to hold things in that would be beneficial for others. So by and large, I've always advocated honesty and being able to speak your mind freely and without restraint in a setting where you're working closely together with others in teamwork.
111. This teamwork relationship is a very special one. If you agree to be honest among yourselves, it's with the understanding that it will be with great love, respect, and deference for the other person's opinion. The reason for speaking out honestly is to be sure that you'll find the Lord's will, to be sure that one idea doesn't get pushed through without other ideas and options being considered.
112. For example, Mama was quite honest with me through the years. Often I would have an idea and be gung ho about it, and she would, in her meek and loving way, bring up the other side. She knew that I needed her to do that and expected her to do that. But even in her case, she had to ask Peter to remind her not to be too argumentative. She had an enormous amount of respect for me as God's prophet, and she would never have done anything to undermine my faith in the Lord's ability to use me. So she never did it in a disrespectful‚ unloving, condescending‚ or unprayerful way. She just had the job of bringing up the other side at times‚ and in that way the Lord was able to fully cover an issue without just one person's idea or enthusiasm blowing away any opposing questions that would have made the treatment of the problem or the situation more well-rounded.
113. It's a very weak leader who only wants man-pleasers around, who only wants to hear people speak their opinions if they will cater to his own. It's not the godly way for the leader to only want to hear ideas that are in line with what he already thinks, or for people to want to curry favor by suppressing their own ideas so that they can be loved or accepted. This is man-pleasing, selfishness‚ and doesn't have the Lord's best interests behind it.
114. However, if the motive for opposing ideas is finding out God's best, this can then make for healthy discussion. You have to be a little bit thick-skinned sometimes to have a hearty round of discussion where many opposing ideas are discussed and varying points of view come up. And then you have to have a lot of humility to bow to someone else's idea if it's better than your own and seems that it will produce a more fruitful and Lord–pleasing outcome.
115. There must be a good climate of love and respect if honesty is to flourish; there must be a great deal of humility on all sides; and there must be‚ above all‚ a sincere desire to do the Lord's will, and to seek it and find it. If you have that as your motive—not pushing your own ideas, not thinking in pride that of course your own ideas are right—then you'll do well.
116. Honesty is a blessing, because if people speak what's on their heart, freely and without shame, and if you've all been praying and asking the Lord to reveal His will‚ then you'll have a much better chance of finding His solutions and not getting stuck in unfruitful ruts. Just be sure it's done in love and understanding and appreciation for everyone, so that no one feels cut down or blamed or is made to look ridiculous. This is unloving behavior masquerading under the guise of honesty. But if you're all sincerely seeking the Lord's best and you have a loving exchange where each one can honestly express the leadings, burdens, or even personal desires that he or she feels are of the Lord, then you'll have fruitful discussion.
117. I love you! And I will pray that the Lord helps you all to be honest and loving and have fruitful teamworking in this new and important plan from the Lord of the board structure. (End of message from Dad.)
Persevering as a Teamwork
To Be Lovingly Honest
118. (Dad speaking): Every teamwork has problems; none are perfect and without problems of some kind. Just because you have tests and battles on your teamwork doesn't mean you're not a good teamwork. The fact that you're still a teamwork, that the Lord is still using you, that you're still working together and striving to overcome proves you're a good teamwork.
119. You're a marriage; you have to work closely together, to communicate closely in order to get the job done, and this takes honesty and openness to one another. You can't do the job well without good communication with one another, without being open and honest about the things that require it. It's not an easy thing to do with the ones you live and work with on a regular basis, but if you can establish a good foundation of honesty with your teammates, it will become easier and easier. It's just more difficult if you're not used to it and if you haven't formed the good habit of being honest about your thoughts and feelings, about your battles.
120. It's worth it to work on regular honest communication. If you can't say what you really think and feel for fear of the reaction or repercussions, then the work could be hindered. The Lord might be trying to speak through you, and if for some reason you don't feel at liberty to be open and honest, then His voice won't be heard.
121. The Lord has put each of you on your teamwork. He has a reason for you being there. He wants each of you to play the role He's asking of you. You're handpicked by Him for this job in spite of what you feel are your incapability and weaknesses. These things don't mean anything to the Lord; all He looks at is your desire to serve Him, your willingness to obey. You might feel like your voice isn't really needed, that what you have to say isn't really worth it in the big picture, but that's not how He sees it. He's counting on each of you being willing to be open and honest about the matters that you feel are important, to share your thoughts so that your team can bring each question to the Lord and hear from Him. This goes for the work as well as personal matters—you need to be able to talk about both openly and without fear of disapproval.
122. If you have something on your heart that's bothering you and you don't know if it's important enough to talk about, ask the Lord and He'll show you. Most likely He'll either give you the answer you need or He'll tell you to talk to someone about it. A lot of times He tells people to talk to someone, to counsel with someone, and it's through this counseling and sharing of hearts that He gives the solution. Of course, you should be prayerful in your presentation if it's something personal that you feel might be difficult for the other to hear. But if you're prayerful and wise, it's much better to share too much than too little, to really be honest about things than to hold back.
123. As a teamwork you have to know how each other feels, how each other thinks, so that you can bring your questions to the Lord for His counsel and so that He can continue to lead you on the path of His will. If things aren't in the open and you don't have honest communication with one another, you can't pray wisely and with understanding about situations. You'll only be able to pray with your limited knowledge of situations and the Lord won't be able to give you His full, well-rounded counsel.
124. Knowing all sides to the situation, knowing each other's feelings, and even each other's battles about situations really helps you to pull down the Lord's full counsel and to receive counsel about all the details needed. This is what helps to keep you in the center of His will‚ going in the direction that He wants you to go. (End of message from Dad)
Handling Criticism
125. (Dad speaking: ) When you know that someone's been critical of you or the way you work or do things, or even critical of your personal life‚ it can be difficult to overlook. You need to pray for a supernatural gift from God to look beyond the negative words and actions and keep His love and work in the right perspective. It may really bother you‚ irk you, and hurt you that someone is being critical of you behind your back, or even openly to your face.
126. It's a very harmful thing in the spirit for people to criticize their teammates‚ to show a lack of faith and respect for the Lord's anointing on them. I hope that anyone who is guilty of being critical or speaking negatively about your co-workers will have a change of heart. If it's you and you've been guilty of discouraging and hindering your teammates because of your negative, critical attitude toward them, I hope you'll get things straightened out. It not only hurts their faith and happiness and is a poor sample of His love, but it weakens your effectiveness and your service to the Family.
127. If you're someone who's been hurt by someone's negative attitude and you've been holding a grudge in your heart toward that person‚ it's time to make your peace with them. If you feel you can't make peace with them by going to them and asking for their forgiveness and for a fresh start, or perhaps you've already tried this and it didn't work out so well, then make your peace between you and the Lord. If another person's criticisms about you or their negative words cause you to be spiteful in your interactions with them, then you need a fresh start. If it causes you to hold a grudge, to pull in the opposite direction in your working relationship, or to be resistant to their ideas, then you need a fresh start.
128. No matter how justified you might feel you are and how wrong you feel they are, you can't let those feelings dictate how you react toward them. You can't allow past hurt feelings or present resentment—even if you are being unjustly criticized—to influence you negatively or cause you to lower the standard of the Lord's Word. For His sake, for His Family's sake, for the sake of the lost sheep, for the sake of being a sample of His love and Word, you have to put all of that behind you and go on into a new day.
129. It's a very difficult thing to do, because our pride doesn't want to yield and do the humble thing. Our pride doesn't want to say "uncle" and let the other guy have his way, especially when we think they're in the wrong. But if you want to move forward into the future and everything the Lord has in store for the Family with the board vision‚ you have to start with a clean slate.
130. Not everyone has this problem to overcome, but even if one or two people have this problem, it can be a big hindrance to the effectiveness of the boards. You can't work well with your board mates if you're harboring negative feelings. You can't receive the full counsel of the Lord if your channel is blocked by grudges. It'll get in the way of you hearing clearly from the Lord on the important matters that He'll bring to your board. For that matter, the same principle applies to Home teamworks, to witnessing partners, to wives and husbands, or anyone who has to work together.
131. I know it's hard on your pride to ask for forgiveness if you've been guilty of being critical and negative to your co-worker, but it's sure worth it. Your effectiveness as a good board member and counselor depends on it. The Family is moving forward and needs you to be fully here in mind, heart and spirit without any personality clashes or past hurts holding you back. The work needs you, and Mama and Peter need you, so if it's time for a little heart-washing, please take the time you need to make things right so you can move forward without any weights. The Lord will bless it, probably more than you realize.
132. The Enemy is really going to fight this, but if you go for it, the windows of Heaven will open onto your life and you'll receive a new anointing. It's going to be something very special, something that you can't understand right now, but an anointing that you'll be very thankful for. (End of message from Dad.)
A Sign of Good Leadership
Is Being Open
133. (Jesus speaking:) A leader's sensitivity to correction or criticism from others is a sign of a weak leader. If a leader is sensitive to correction or criticism to the point that others cannot point things out to him, and he's unwilling to admit his lacks and receive counsel and even opposing opinions from others, he's a weak leader. If a leader is unable to see himself as others see him, and have the humility to admit his mistakes and welcome help and advice and counsel on his style and shepherding and administration methods and personal sample, he can never be a truly great leader.
134. The greatest leaders in My Kingdom have been (and continue to be) those lacking in confidence in themselves‚ those who know what great sinners they are‚ and that without Me they can do nothing good. Good leaders value the views‚ observations, and even criticisms of those they work and interact with. It's one of the best ways to grow spiritually.
135. Your king and queen are such wonderful samples of being meek and dependent on and open to advice, correction‚ and even criticism—not only from Me, but from all they work with or anyone in the Family.
136. Those leaders who get resentful or even vengeful toward those who correct or criticize them are depending too much on themselves and their good works. All have sinned and come short of the glory of God. In fact, no one has even come close to God's glory. There simply is no one righteous. Those who feel they are should not be in positions of leadership.
137. Leaders should know they need correction and help from others to see how others see them. One of the surest ways of correcting a poor sample is by seeing it through the eyes of another. But unless you show yourself open to be corrected, criticized, and to see the negative effects you've had on another, you will be unable to fully develop into the leaders I desire.
138. Sensitivity is something the Devil loves to use to stop leaders from growing and progressing. The Enemy knows that if he can convince My leaders to become proud and sensitive in refusing to do the humble thing and acknowledge their sins and mistakes‚ but instead grow resistant, it will force God to begin resisting the leader and He will then not be able to help them as much as He could if they keep a contrite spirit. My Father dwells with them that are of a humble and contrite spirit. Contrite means to know what a sinner you are, how nothing you are, and be determined not to continue to exhibit the behavior that caused those sins. That's what a leader must know and be, among other things. (End of message from Jesus)
How to Take Criticism
139. (Question:) How can we take criticism and make it work for us and not discourage us?
140. (Jesus speaking: ) Words are real things—they lift up or they knock down. Criticism is a tool of words, in that it can lift up, build, and repair; or it can tear down and destroy. It's all in how it's used.
141. The key attitude for the person receiving criticism is trust. Ultimately your trust must be in Me. For if you can trust Me‚ that I love you and that I will use all things to work together for your good, then you can learn from criticism. You must trust. If you can trust in Me, if you can look to Me, then you can take these words, whether they're meant for good or for bad. You can bring them to Me, and I'll help you to sort them out. I'll show you what's good and what's bad. I'll help you to choose the good and to eschew the evil.
142. This trust can go even further. If you can trust the person who is delivering the criticism, then you can receive it more easily. But no matter what, you must have faith and trust that I know, I love, I care; that you can learn from any experience; that you can learn from any words of criticism; and that you can learn from any situation that comes into your life, whether good or bad.
143. Some things are easier than others to receive, and some things are not easy at all to receive. You must be careful that the Enemy of your soul does not make you focus on any one particular thing too much. In focusing on one particular criticism, you will completely lose perspective on the rest of what I'm trying to show you.
144. Your life is made up of many things and many parts. Everyone has good qualities and everyone has weak points. Everyone has things they excel in, and everyone has things that they need to work on and improve in. No one single thing defines a person and makes them any particular way.
145. So when things are pointed out—areas where you need to be more mindful, more faithful, or areas that you have neglected or just didn't see—pray for humility, pray for trust, and pray for faith to believe that I, your loving Husband, your Best Friend, know and love and care. I'm allowing this for a reason, to make you a better person, to patch up a weak area in your life, to help you remedy something that is possibly hurting you or others.
146. It's difficult to always remember that you're just human and that you're bound to make many mistakes. This is how you learn; this is how you grow. For your spirit, your heart, your mind‚ will go on living long after your body is dead. It's your spirit, your heart, and your mind all together that are in training and that are learning and growing. The potential is endless, but you have to learn.
147. When you shut yourself off to criticism, you cease to learn. The word "criticism" is a very loose term and is used in a very loose way. Not all words of correction, guidance, or help are criticisms‚ but they can be perceived as such. Criticisms are usually perceived as negative things aimed at you, and this makes them hard to receive.
148. Criticisms are often about things that you didn't know you did, and that in many cases you may not do, but they're often just how others perceive and interpret you and what you do.
149. You can pray and ask Me to help you receive every criticism as a learning opportunity. It's not easy. Human nature and the pride of man wells up within you and is hurt. But regardless of how you receive criticisms‚ whether they're painful and you receive them in a sensitive way or you receive them openly, you must be faithful to bring them to Me.
150. Put them on the table and let us look at them together, and I'll show you. There's no fault nor failing nor mistake that I condemn. All of these things are learning opportunities, and that's what you are being presented with.
151. Yes, they may be hard to take at first, but that's why you must bring them to Me. We must talk about them and counsel together, and I'll explain them to you and encourage you. That's how you'll have faith. That's how you'll be able to receive these wounds from a friend‚ and this is how you'll be able to grow from criticism of any type from any source, friend or "foe." I will allow nothing to enter your life that you can't learn from and grow from in some way.
152. Yes‚ all things do work together for good to them that love Me, because I will help you with each thing that enters your life‚ to see how to take it, where it goes, what part it plays in your life, and where it fits. The key to receiving criticism and learning from it is bringing it to Me and letting Me teach you. (End of message from Jesus.)
Let Me Use It for Good
153. (Jesus speaking: ) Criticism is sometimes hard to take, depending on the manner in which it was given, on how you're feeling at the moment, and what you're being "criticized" for. In most cases, a little comment or suggestion could be taken as criticism if you're looking at it through the eyes of pride and sensitivity. The main thing to realize is that you do make mistakes and I have made you this way so that you can learn—not only through your striving to do better, but in seeing your mistakes and learning from them.
154. If someone does need to point something out to you, take it, receive it, and be sure that you thank that dear one for humbling themselves to speak to you. For some this is easier than others. You know in your heart whether this is a sore spot for you‚ and I can speak to you with suggestions on how you can grow in this area. But for now, realize this: I love you, and all I put before you is for your good so that you can learn and grow, so that every spiritual muscle is being used and none are being left to wither away.
155. Maybe you feel that this will just make you feel pricked on all sides and you'll never have a moment's peace from the battle. Well, that's the Enemy trying to make you look down at the waves. Keep your eyes on Me, the Author and Finisher of your faith, and I will sustain you. I will help you to make each and every criticism, suggestion, or comment that you receive be used for your good in some way, if you can bring it to Me.
156. Pray for My help after you receive a criticism or a comment. Even if it seems to be a minor thing, pray that I can help you to learn the most from it, to grow from it, to become a better, more useful vessel from it.
157. I will help you. I will keep your heart and mind from the discouragement and condemnation that the Enemy will try to put upon you because of some mistake. That's his job, to try to discourage you enough to make you give up the fight—that's his final goal. Keep your heart close to Me so that I can continually cover you with My peace that passes all understanding, My love that will cover a multitude of sins, and My comfort that will help you through every trying time. (End of message from Jesus.)
Sensitivity Holds You Back
158. (Question: ) How can sensitivity, not only to correction in your personal life but also to suggestions regarding your work‚ hold you back and hinder you from making progress? And what should you do about this to get the victory over it?
159. (Jesus speaking: ) Sensitivity is really a device of the Devil to slow down progress, a trick of the Enemy to stop forward motion. He plays on people's pride to get them to be sensitive and to feel hurt. When someone becomes sensitive, they don't want to hear correction, suggestions, or criticism. They don't even want to hear about problems because they take it too personally, feeling like they're to blame. Then they start making excuses for the problems instead of being willing to listen and look to Me for solutions and make progress. When they stop listening, then they can't do anything to change things because they don't even know there is a problem‚ and so progress stops. And if we were to take that to the extreme‚ then My work would be defeated. Of course, I'm not going to let that happen, so I would have to find someone else to do the job who isn't so sensitive.
160. Everyone is sensitive in some aspect or to some degree—I understand that—but you all need to see that you don't have to be. You don't need to be and you shouldn't be. You need to change your mindset. Change is good‚ and how are you going to know you need to change or that something needs to be corrected if you won't hear it? Everyone should want to know if he's wrong or if things are going wrong. How can you make progress if you don't?
161. The end result of sensitivity is uselessness and lack of change, bitterness and resentment. And if you're not going forward and making progress, then, like your David told you, you're sliding back. And there's no standing still; you'll eventually slide all the way back.
162. You have to get out of the mindset that correction, criticism‚ or suggestions are something bad and that you're being judged or punished when you're corrected or given some criticism or instruction. It's good to know what needs to be changed so that you can ask Me about it and continue to make progress. You have to keep telling yourself that over and over.
163. You don't have to be perfect, and you don't have to have all the ideas. I don't love you more if you make less mistakes or if you have more ideas. I love you in spite of your mistakes. In fact, probably the ones that are closest to Me are the ones that make the most mistakes and get corrected and take suggestions, because they're making progress and coming to Me for solutions. I know it's part of man's nature not to want to make mistakes, and that man wants to be looked on as perfect, but that just separates you from Me.
164. In light of the new board vision, it's imperative that you aren't sensitive. If you are, it could be a very big hindrance, because you won't want to hear about the problems. Instead of "taking it" and wanting to effect change‚ in your sensitivity you'll make excuses for why it's the way it is. And then progress and change is stifled.
165. People need to feel free to offer any suggestions they have. And for some of you it's going to be hard because you're going to see a lot of problems that maybe you never saw before, because you've been too busy with so many other things. You might feel pretty bad and sensitive about it. But I want you to know that it's not bad that the problems are being pointed out. What is bad is if you take it personally and get sensitive about it, because then you're not going to admit that there is a problem—and then a solution won't be found. So you can see how not being able to take suggestions, correction, or criticism can hinder you from making progress.
166. So how can you get the victory over being sensitive? Yieldedness has a lot to do with not being sensitive. You must be like the two mountain goats that met on a cliff path—one laid down and let the other walk over him. Now, don't you think that it must have hurt the goat that lay down? It will probably be the same with you. You may still feel a bit sensitive, but you have to yield in spite of that or there will be no forward progress. The two goats could not have continued making progress along the path if one of them had not yielded. You must determine in your mind that you're not going to allow yourself to react sensitively, that even if you feel sensitive, you're going to yield.
167. That brings Me to another aspect that can cause feelings of sensitivity, and that's in the realm of hearing from Me. After hearing from Me, you may feel like you have all the answers and that what you got is right. You've heard from Me on the matter, so there isn't room for any other ideas. When another idea is presented, you feel sensitive about it. Or there's the other side of the coin—when you've heard from Me and someone else builds on what you received, you may feel sensitive that your channel isn't good enough. When someone comes up with another suggestion or idea, you take it personally, that you can't hear from Me, and it shakes your faith.
168. But the way I've organized things is for you to work in teamwork. It's a lot like when you're in a group of people prophesying, and one gets a prophecy, and then another gets one. That doesn't mean that the first one didn't hear from Me; another person just added on to what the other received. I like giving a little through a lot of people, so that when you put it all together it makes a whole. But if you're too sensitive to receive it and think you're the one who has to be getting everything, then it's not going to work.
169. I'm going to be pouring out My anointing a lot more on all the Family. Some of the people I'm going to be pouring through have not had years of training in how to present the things I'm giving them. This might be rough for some of you, especially if you're sensitive. So you're going to need to pray for a lot of grace and against sensitivity.
170. My loves, you can see the need to fight against sensitivity if you want to be used in My new move of the Spirit. Now that you have the vision and motivation to get rid of sensitivity‚ the solution is the same as always: Get united prayer‚ read the Word, do the humble things that will reduce your pride, and fight against it. Pray for a yielded spirit.
171. I'm counting on you all to help pull this new vision off, and there's no place for sensitivity. There's a lot of work to be done and there are a lot of problems to find solutions to. You can't be spending time nursing your own hurt feelings when there's a war to fight. So put your armor on, My mighty warriors, and fight on! (End of message from Jesus)
Do All You Can to Get the Victory
172. (Jesus speaking:) Sensitivity is one of the Enemy's greatest weapons against My children in these days. It holds you back. It keeps you from receiving the suggestions of others, because it's ultimately pride that you don't want to admit you were wrong or that there's a better‚ more efficient way to go about a task. This also keeps others from wanting to suggest anything to you or be honest with you, because they know that you won't receive it well. This is serious.
173. If you harbor sensitivity‚ it leads to resentment, and resentment to bitterness, and bitterness will destroy your usefulness for Me. That's another reason to fight sensitivity. When you allow yourself to hang on to the feeling of being wronged or misunderstood or unjustly accused‚ it grows, and will eventually snuff out your happiness and your usefulness, if you don't get to the bottom of it and root it out.
174. If you feel that you're prone to sensitivity in your life‚ ask for united prayer. This is not a small thing, to be taken lightly, because this can and will cause disunity in the ranks. It will slow down the progress that I wish for the Family to make in these Last Days, and it will cut you off from the wonderful, life-giving flow of help that you can receive from Me and your co-workers.
175. So do all you can to get the victory over this. Ask Me if you have this weakness and I will show you. Ask your co-workers how you can be more receptive to their help and ask them if you now show signs of sensitivity.
176. Remember to do all things in love‚ and if you do give a suggestion, make sure that you're looking to Me and following My checks on how you should give your suggestions. There certainly is a right way and a wrong way to give a suggestion, and although there are some gray areas, it's important for you to go about this the right way if you need to bring something up to someone. I will show you how to do this. (End of message from Jesus.)
Now Is the Time to Overcome!
177. (Note from channel:) I originally got a vision of a big female spirit being who wanted to give a message. There was excitement in the spirit, and I got the impression this was going to be good news for those who battle sensitivity. When I asked who was speaking, the Lord spoke first, and afterwards I received the message from the spirit being.
178. (Jesus speaking:) Sensitivity to correction and to suggestions about your work or personal life prevents you from growing spiritually, and if you're not growing spiritually you're not progressing. You're stagnant. It can also affect the physical aspect of your life, because if someone can't make a suggestion to you without you getting overly sensitive about it, you're not going to be able to learn much because people won't be eager to talk to you about anything. In fact, people will most likely not talk to you about whatever it is that could be of help to you.
179. The only way the board vision will work is if all involved are on board. I'm taking My children into the time when their lives will not be as they were. The world is changing. Times are waxing worse and worse; they will not get better. They will grow more evil, and more darkness will spread over the Earth.
180. My children are destined to shine as lights in the midst of gross darkness. I have given this plan of the boards as a means‚ as a vehicle to get you where you need to be. I want to help you. I want to answer your heartcries.
181. In order to harness the tremendous pool of talent and gifts of My people‚ those who I have blessed must commit to Me. They are no different than any other of My children. A man's gifts do make room for him. On the other hand, a man's gifts do not give him free rein to do as he pleases‚ nor to disregard My words of instruction, guidance, correction, or training.
182. My Word says‚ "Submit yourself to God. Resist the Devil and he will flee from you." Many people fight to resist the Devil and then grow weary, eventually giving up. It's because they leave out the key ingredient to success—submitting themselves to Me. If people won't submit themselves to Me, the battle can't be won.
183. You have to surrender yourself to Me before you can begin winning the spiritual war. Once you surrender yourself to Me, then I will give you the battle plan that will bring the victory, blow by blow. And those blows will be the blows you will be giving the Enemy.
184. I have given a wealth of words, poured forth abundantly, and now is the time to let the miracles happen. If you will surrender to Me, I will do the miracles. I'm even now preparing the way. It won't be easy. Nothing worthwhile is usually easy to obtain. It will be a fight, but it will be worth fighting! I want to make fighters out of you, My children.
185. The key will be surrendering to Me, for when you surrender you will be endued with power that will enable you to fight as never before, and then that which wasn't easy will become easier than you thought. Such is the beauty of surrendering to Me. I love you! (End of message from Jesus)
Help from the Spirit World
To Fight Against Sensitivity!
186. (Spirit being speaking:) I come to the children of David! I come on behalf of the prayers and at the behest of your Father David! I am to help his children who battle with sensitivity. I bring the spirit of sensitivity to the Lord's Spirit! I do battle with him who fights to defeat the children of David, the demon of sensitivity of self. I am commissioned to help you have a tough spirit but a tender heart—a tender heart to the words of Jesus, but a tough spirit that you may receive His words of reproof without being sensitive.
187. To reprove‚ rebuke‚ exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine is the way of a revolutionary disciple's life! I am here to help those who need to become soldiers of the cross. All of you are soldiers, and as your Father David has told you, soldiers need to be able to take a cussing out from their Commanding Officer and know that it's for their benefit and not to their detriment.
188. I am not alone, but I am part of a legion of specially trained spirit beings who have been commissioned to help you. Call on the name of the Lord, ask for our assistance, and you will receive it. You may have one of us as a permanent helper if you so desire! We are mighty and strong in spirit. We have been trained to toughen you up, if you will but ask.
189. If you're sensitive and desire to change, the thought can be frightening. You know it's your pride, you know it's something that works against your spiritual progress, but you can feel trapped, unable to break free of the bonds of sensitivity. We're here to free you! We're here to help you become what you desire to be‚ to give you the proper perspective when you receive correction or suggestions.
190. Jesus will not fail you! He has created us so that we may answer your desire to change. We'll make the change easier for you! We'll help it not hurt so much. We're fierce warriors, fighters for Jesus! We'll help you see beyond your hurt feelings and help you to fight! Simply call for us and we'll come. We love you! (End of message from spirit being.)
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