Maria
April 29, 2003
Minimum responsibility in the event of pregnancy
By MariaMaria #452 CM 3206 6/98
Dear Family,
1. Thank you for continuing to read this series with open hearts and minds. Up until this point I have clarified the previous counsel in "Go for the Gold" regarding the Lord's strong recommendation that you marry in the event that you have a child together. The option of marriage is the best way to provide the child you have created with a mother and a father.
2. Now I want to explain some new guidelines that the Lord has recently given regarding the minimum responsibility a man has toward a single woman if they create a baby‚ but, after seriously praying about marriage, do not choose to marry, at least not at that time. Please tune in very carefully because this counsel could affect your life in a big way!
3. The Lord made it clear in "Go for the Gold" that He wanted those who create a child to take responsibility for it, and He repeatedly encouraged marriage as the best way to do that. But there are many who have not taken that counsel seriously‚ perhaps because you did not understand it clearly or did not give it enough thought or prayer, or possibly because you didn't feel ready to get married, weren't in love, or didn't want to forsake your independence and your own ways. In a few cases, it was the Lord's will that you did not marry.
4. As I have already explained‚ in some cases the single mothers are single because the father of their child refused to take responsibility, in other cases it's because the woman chose to remain alone, and in yet other cases the man and woman came to a mutual agreement to go their separate ways; but whatever the reason‚ the one who suffers in the end is the child who does not receive the support‚ love and attention of a father or a father figure in his life.
(Text in box:)
In the following pages I mention fucking with condoms several times. I want to make it clear that I'm not promoting the use of condoms. To use condoms as a means of birth control is not going for the gold, and if you choose to do so, as you know‚ you forfeit some of the Lord's blessings in your life. But it is my understanding that condom use is somewhat common. That is your personal choice, so I have to take that into consideration when giving you the counsel you need and making it clear. But please do not take the repeated mention of condom use as a promotion of such or as an indication that Peter and I have backed down on the message contained in the Letter "Go for the Gold."
The Minimum Responsibility
In Case of Pregnancy
5. Peter and I felt led to ask the Lord for further counsel about the obligation of the father of the child should he and the single woman decide to not marry, after prayerfully considering the Lord's will in the matter based on the counsel in Part 4 of this series. If a man and a woman do not want to get married, even knowing that the Lord said that in most cases marriage is His will when a child is created, can the father of the child just go his merry way, footloose and fancy-free, leaving the woman to fend for herself? Is the mother to ride the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy and prepare for the birth on her own? And is it left up to her to make it through all the many difficult adjustments in the first months and years of having a child, without the support of a companion?
6. We wondered if possibly the Lord would want to give some further counsel on this subject, which has become the basis for new Charter amendments which will be incorporated into the updated Charter and the Charter amendment LNF. I want to tell you right from the beginning that this counsel is not retroactive; it will go into effect November 1, 1998. It will only apply to relationships in which a child is conceived after that date.
7. I also want to explain something that's very important to remember: This GN is complex. It explains new policy that is detailed and complicated. You might initially get bogged down as you try to understand it, but one thing to remember is that you won't have to worry about this counsel at all if you don't fuck or participate in sexual activities that can result in pregnancy, such as putting the penis in and pulling out before ejaculation, fucking with a condom, masturbating the woman's vaginal area with the penis, etc.
8. No one is under any obligation to fuck! For both singles and married people who share outside their marriage relationship, the Lord has given the option that you can share love in ways other than fucking and still be in His highest will and still be going for the gold. He's not encouraging you to fuck unless you're sure it's His will. He's just as happy if you do other things—mutual masturbation and oral sex!
9. Here are the Lord's answers about minimum responsibility in the event of pregnancy:
10. (Jesus speaking: ) My preference, the ideal, the best, the golden solution, is that the father and mother of the child marry, that they form a permanent committed union to care for each other and the child and the other children that I would give them. That is the best, most complete way of taking responsibility. But in the event that two people who create a child choose not to marry, if they feel that it is not My will that they marry‚ then I would put forth now a new minimum responsibility—that they remain together in the same Home for the duration of the pregnancy and for the first year of the child's life. That way the father of the child will be available to be a help, support and encouragement, and the mother will not feel that she is on her own.
11. During this time the couple can choose, according to how they feel led of Me and according to their personal preference, whether to continue a sexual relationship or not. That is not required. Their union can be simply a friendship or a parenting teamwork of two people. But at least the father of the child will be available as a prayer partner, a friend‚ a support, and one who helps to care for the mother and the child physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially by being a part of the same Home and contributing to the Home's finances through his outreach efforts and fundraising, or his help on the Home front, depending on his ministry, gifts and talents. This way the father can also help the woman to prepare for childbirth and can even accompany her to the delivery, if she so chooses.
12. After the designated time of the nine months of pregnancy and the first year of the child's life, the man and woman can go their separate ways, if they so feel led of Me.
13. During the designated time the woman can choose to release the man from his responsibility, his obligation of friendship and support and parenting teamwork. Some legitimate reasons for releasing the man from such responsibility would be:
14. I have noted what are legitimate reasons for which a woman might possibly release a man from his minimum responsibility. But that is not to say that a woman should take it upon herself to release the man without desperate prayer, counsel and hearing from Me in prophecy. Also, the man should seek Me diligently to know how I am leading him and to find My highest will in the matter. For there may be times when, though a woman releases a man‚ she in essence is giving him a choice to accept the release or not. For example, should an opportunity for a certain ministry arise for the man, she may release him; however, this may or may not be My highest will for the man. And this is where he must desperately seek Me. For though an opportunity may arise‚ it may not be My highest will; it may not take precedence over the care of the mother and child.
15. Both man and woman must remember that simply because circumstances exist that are within the legitimate reasons for a release, this does not indicate that it is My highest will for each individual case across the board. Many circumstances may be present, but I put it in the hands of both the man and the woman to pray and seek Me and follow My leading and My will for their own personal lives and situation. A legitimate reason for release in one situation may not be legitimate in another.
16. The important thing is to know what My will is for you personally, for My will varies from individual to individual. Therefore you must remember that although these reasons can be legitimate‚ they might not apply to your lives, and the only way you can know for sure if they do or don't is to seek Me and find My highest will for your situation.
17. If a woman chooses to release a man for one of these legitimate reasons and it is according to My will, then they both will continue with My full blessing in their lives. If either misuses these options‚ then they will lose some of My blessings in their life. This is a serious decision, one which should not be taken lightly, because the first place to find My highest will is to seek how you can fulfill the minimum responsibility, not to see how you can be released from it.
18. You single men may feel that to invest 20 months of your life to care for a woman and child is a big investment, but I say that this is the minimum, for a child is an ongoing lifetime work, one which needs constant attention, input, dedication and sacrifice. The mother of the child will give unto the child day and night endlessly; she will bear the constant responsibility without discharge and with very little relief. So comparatively speaking, for you men to give 20 months of your life as even a part–time father, companion and friend is, from My point of view, the minimum responsibility that you can take, the minimum contribution that you can make to the life of the child that you have created of your own free will.
19. Therefore, from this time forth, when you go into a sexual relationship with a single woman, be advised‚ be forewarned and understand that regardless of the circumstances—whether it's an unexpected pregnancy or even an unwanted pregnancy, even if you just get carried away and fuck when you hadn't planned to, or even if you choose to use a condom and it breaks or comes off, and thereby a child is created contrary to your desire or planning—you will be held responsible for this minimum responsibility, unless the woman releases you for one of the reasons listed earlier.
20. Marriage is the best solution, as I have already made clear. But if early on in your relationship you do not have the faith to follow that counsel in My Word and you feel you can't make a positive decision to marry for some reason‚ give it time. You might not have the faith to follow the Word and marry right in the beginning of the woman's pregnancy, but you might grow in faith as you live and work together for the sake of the little one.
21. There will be those of you who won't have the faith to say yes to the option of marriage. You will not have the faith to follow the general counsel of My Word nor to receive specific prophecies of direction, and you will be in a state of indecision. In that case, you don't need to make a final decision to not marry. You don't have to close the door completely on marriage. Don't feel pressured to make a decision to not marry. But while you are praying about what you will do, you would naturally proceed to the parenting teamwork option. Then you can continue to seek Me and hear from Me and see how things develop between you, how you get along. You can see how compatible you are, how you enjoy raising your child together and being a team together, how you feel led of Me, and whether your faith in My Word regarding marriage being the best solution grows. In such a case‚ you're in a time of experimentation to see if marriage would work for you.
22. Within the options I give, some will pray and receive clear direction from Me to marry in the beginning. Others will pray and decide not to marry, having received clear direction from Me; yet they will begin their 20-month parenting teamwork as required. Others will not have the faith to follow My counsel regarding marriage at the beginning nor will they hear clearly from Me; they will be undecided, and thus they will go into their 20-month parenting teamwork period with a "let's see what will happen regarding marriage" frame of mind.
23. In this case, for those of you who have embarked on your parenting teamwork and are not already fully decided on marriage, one way or the other—if I have not made My will very clear to you, you are wise to come back to Me again at the end of your 20-month period to hear My voice through prophecy, to receive a confirmation on how I might be leading—whether to part, having completed your requirement‚ or whether to join in marriage, having grown in faith. (End of message from Jesus.)
24. (Mama: ) In this message the Lord continues to emphasize that when a single man and woman create a child, the best solution is marriage. But if you do not have the faith to follow the Lord's counsel regarding marriage, the Lord has now put forth the clear sound of the trumpet of the minimum responsibility that will be expected of you men who father a child with a single woman. (This is now a Charter amendment and will be in the Charter amendment LNF and added to the Sex and Affection Rules in the revised Charter.)
25. There will be some situations when a child is created in which those involved will feel led of the Lord right from the beginning to follow the counsel in the Word that makes it clear that in most cases when a child is created it is His will to marry, which is very simple—you then begin the procedures laid out in the Charter for marriage. In rare cases, He will show you that it's not His will to marry, in which case you would then form a parenting teamwork until the child is one year old. But there will be instances in which you're not sure whether to marry or not because you don't have the faith to follow the Lord's general counsel that, in most cases when a child is created, it is His will that the man and woman marry. You might be confused or lack conviction regarding marriage. In that case you should not feel pressured or in a hurry to make a definite decision to not marry. You can simply begin your parenting teamwork and give it some time. However‚ in cases where you did not receive a clear answer from the Lord regarding marriage when praying initially or at any other time during your 20 months of teamworking, we recommend that you pray again at the end of the 20–month period to see how the Lord leads you.
26. This new 20-month minimum responsibility is yours regardless of how the pregnancy came about—even if you didn't plan to fuck but you did anyway‚ or a condom broke or whatever. The fact that you may have gone into your sexual sharing with no strings attached, not expecting or wanting any ongoing relationship, does not free you from this responsibility. Even if your once in-love relationship has since turned sour and you're no longer lovers or even that close, the man is still responsible to care for the mother and child.
27. (Note: This policy about minimum responsibility applies to a married man as well, if he and a single woman create a child together. More details regarding a married couple's responsibility and counsel about the implementation of this policy for married couples will be covered in the next GN in this series. There will be some changes to the policy for married couples, but the basic 20-month minimum responsibility applies to singles and married men alike.)
28. Now you men will no longer be able to blow off your responsibility and just take off to parts unknown, while the single woman bears the total burden of pregnancy, childbirth, and the great responsibility of caring for a new baby and young child. You will be held responsible to live in the same Home that the woman lives in, to be a friend, companion, support and helper to her throughout her pregnancy and for the first year of the child's life, unless she chooses to release you from that responsibility earlier for one of the specific reasons mentioned in paragraph 13. You are not required to continue a sexual relationship with her, nor she with you; in fact, that is not even your automatic right‚ unless you both want to continue a sexual relationship.
29. That means, in practical terms, that you will be there to help the mother of your child through the difficult months of pregnancy. If she struggles with morning sickness and extreme tiredness‚ you'll be there to help her, encourage her, pray for her, support her, help make her the food and snacks that she needs, etc. You'll be there to help her prepare physically, emotionally and spiritually for the baby. You'll be there to help acquire the needs of the baby, and to support the Home through your witnessing, outreach, fundraising or the in-house ministries you perform.
30. You are required to help support the Home in which the woman who is having your baby lives during this time through your living there and participating as a full-fledged Home member and bearing your share of the financial responsibility. If the woman would like you to be present during her delivery as a support, prayer partner or coach, she may ask that you be there. But that is not required of you‚ because some men just don't have the natural makeup that allows them to participate in or even observe such events.
31. Helping to care for the mother and child during his first year includes such things as actually caring for the baby at different times, including right after birth and in the first months when the mother is unusually tired and having to make so many adjustments in her life, often losing sleep at night as the baby adjusts his sleeping and feeding schedule. It also includes helping with the other physical aspects of caring for a child, if needed, such as changing diapers, doing laundry, preparing the child's food‚ etc. Then there is the nightly parent time and weekly family days, which you will be expected to participate in as well. If you're a man who has good business sense, you can also help the woman with her legal paperwork‚ such as the baby's registration and passport, preparation for any needed visa trips, etc.
32. You women who receive a man's help via a parenting teamwork are also responsible to give something back to him. You can't expect the man to be very enthusiastic about helping you and the baby if you don't give him appreciation, respect and thanks! This is a give-and-take relationship‚ and you women and your babies should not be the only ones benefiting. You should also do what you can to make it a pleasant, rewarding experience for the father of your child. You need to be understanding of the man regarding his time, ministry and responsibilities, and you'll need to realize that there are other people and activities that he'll want to be involved with. Remember, he is not your husband, so you cannot expect him to fulfill the role of a husband. He is a companion and helper, and things will go much more smoothly for you both if you're very sweet and obviously appreciative of his help! On this the Lord said:
33. (Jesus speaking:) A parenting teamwork should be a friendship, a bond of unity and love. It is not that the man is the servant of the woman and child, constantly at her beck and call. Instead‚ the man and woman are servants of each other and of the baby. They should be love slaves for the sake of the child, each doing what he or she can to make their little one happy, secure and well grounded in My Love, Word and Spirit. The man must give of his time and attention, helping to lighten the load of the woman in the things that she would do anyway to care for the baby. He must take some of that load upon his own shoulders and thus lighten the load for the mother. But the woman must realize that the man is sacrificing his time‚ strength and availability for other work, projects or free-time activities in order to help her, and she should show her appreciation.
34. Just because this minimum responsibility is required of the man does not mean that the woman should take it for granted or that she can lord it over the man. It is her responsibility to be loving, understanding, thankful, and to show the man due respect. The way the woman responds to the man's gestures to help will make a big difference in their happiness and will be a key to making or breaking the success of the parenting teamwork. A woman who shows her thanks with sweetness, words of appreciation, affection, and support both publicly and privately will find her parenting partner much more available and enthusiastic, and the whole experience will be much more fun and fruitful for all involved. (End of message from Jesus.)
Circumstances in Which Men
Can Be Released from
Minimum Responsibility
35. (Mama:) There are circumstances under which the woman, if she chooses‚ can release the man from his responsibility toward her and their child, which are made very clear in the previous message. They are:
36. When considering any of these possible circumstances for releasing the man from his responsibility, the woman would be wise to consider the various ways to know God's will and not be led by her feelings alone or what seems right from her natural point of view. She should hear from the Lord in prophecy, ask her shepherds—or, if she's a senior teen, her parents—to also hear from the Lord for her, counsel with her elders, study this Word on the subject, etc.
37. And you single women who prefer to remain independent‚ even when you are pregnant or have a child, please seriously consider this need to seek the Lord and counsel about your decision. The person with whom you created the child will be available to help and support you during this time. Please be very prayerful if you are considering releasing him from this responsibility because of your own desire for independence. Remember, the decision you make will affect not only yourself but your child and your Home‚ so please take time to hear from the Lord about it.
38. If you release a man from his minimum responsibility, he is released unconditionally. You cannot change your mind later and then demand that he fulfill his responsibility. If the father of your child chooses of his own free will to resume his responsibility after being released, that is perfectly fine. But you must understand that you give up your right to the man's help as explained in this GN and the Charter when you release him. On this the Lord said:
39. (Jesus speaking:) Once a woman decides to release the man‚ the release is unconditional. For I call My children to a job—to preach the Gospel and feed My sheep—and there comes a time in all matters to draw the line so that all are not flip-flopping back and forth in a state of flux.
40. In the event that both parties would want to reconsider getting back together after a woman has released a man from his responsibility, this is an option that I leave up to both parties concerned. But I do not require this; the woman cannot demand it. It is not mandatory to keep praying and reconsidering, for once a release has been made, it is unconditional. What is done is done. (End of message from Jesus)
41. (Mama:) When a woman chooses to release a man from his minimum responsibility, it is required that she fill out the release form provided for this action in the Charter. This is to prevent questions or misunderstandings coming up later.
42. The single woman should sign the release form in the presence of one of the teamworkers of her Home. That shepherd should also sign the release form as a witness. The signing does not need to be done in front of all parties concerned. The man and single woman, or the couple and single woman, should each have a copy of the release form.
Parenting Teamworks and
The Home Under the Charter
Home council vote to receive new Home members still applies
43. In order to fulfill this minimum responsibility‚ it is necessary that the man and the single woman live in the same Home. This requirement, however, does not overrule the Charter procedures for receiving new members into your Home. When we were praying about this Charter-related question‚ Dad gave the following explanation:
44. (Dad speaking:) If a woman gets pregnant from a man from another Home, they need to make an effort to be in the same Home. The man can only join the woman's Home to help her if her Home votes to accept him. Or vice versa, the pregnant woman can ask to join the Home of the man who impregnated her, if she wishes. But if neither Home agrees to house the parenting teamwork, then they are responsible to find a Home that will take them in. If they are unable to find a Home to take them all in, and the pregnant woman wants to hold the man to his responsibility, then they are responsible to open a new Home to care for the pregnant woman. (End of message from Dad)
45. (Mama: ) If a man or woman wants to join an existing Home in order to facilitate the fulfillment of their 20-month minimum responsibility‚ the addition of the new Home member(s) would have to have the approval of a two-thirds majority of the Home. (See the Charter, Rights of the Charter Home, E.1.) If neither Home votes that the man or woman can become part of their Home, then the woman and man are responsible to find another Home to take them in or to open a new Home to help care for the single woman for the 20 months‚ unless the single woman chooses to release the man from his responsibility.
46. If the parenting teamwork would be made up of two young people under the age of 18, but neither of their Homes votes to receive the other and they cannot find another Home to receive them, then the woman must release the man from his minimum responsibility because under the Charter they are not allowed to open a Home on their own. But please take heed to the important counsel from the Lord on this subject:
47. (Jesus speaking:) If the father and mother are under 18 and they are unable to find a Home to take them in‚ the man will be freed from his parenting responsibilities since under the Charter they are unable to open their own Home. But, My children, know that it would be displeasing to Me if you were to refuse to open your doors to help your young people through this difficult crisis in their lives. I expect you to care for your young. It is so important and can't be stressed enough that My young parents need help if they find themselves in need if their lovemaking causes pregnancy.
48. However, My children over 18 who are adults must be willing to follow the Charter and assume the responsibility to make a Home for their child. Therefore, if no Home will have them and if the woman does not wish to release the man, they will need to open a Home and find others to join up with them, or continue to look for a Home to take them in. This is the responsibility of adulthood and of parents.
49. Adult Family members must be prepared to take responsibility to care for children they ask Me to send into the world. When My children fuck, they are opening the door for Me to send a child into the world‚ and by so doing, they become responsible in My eyes for the child. They must fulfill this obligation even if at great sacrifice. But if My children are close to Me, I will not make life difficult for them, as My yoke is easy and My burden is light. I will not give them more than they can bear. I will make a way if their hearts are right with Me and they obey My call to care for their child. (End of message from Jesus.)
Homes accepting parenting teamworks
50. (Mama:) Before going further, there's another important message from the Lord I want to share with you regarding the decision you as a Home will make when a man or woman asks to join your Home in order to fulfill their 20-month minimum responsibility. As you've read, a woman can release a man from his responsibility if both Homes refuse to receive the other person, and another Home won't take them in. But this is not the ideal. The whole point of the minimum responsibility is for the man to be able to help care for the pregnant woman and the baby. This option of the woman releasing the man should not be looked upon as an easy way out.
51. Neither is the option of the couple starting their own Home a particularly good solution. One of our CROs brought up some very realistic obstacles, saying:
52. When considering the possibility of the man and woman going off to start their own Home, I thought of all that entails—deposit money for a house, a few months' rent in advance sometimes, probably a Home loan needing to be taken out‚ financial difficulties since they probably have no savings or other funds, and so on. Plus, being undersized‚ if they don't get more voting members to join them, they will either eventually be reclassified to FM status or have to receive special permission to remain undersized. So although the single mom may get the help of a potential mate for 20 months, she might be heading into a very tough home life situation! (End of comments from CRO.)
53. (Mama:) To add to the points this CRO listed, you can also consider the difficulties they'd have just making ends meet and taking care of all their many daily responsibilities without any help, especially if they are people with less experience. And where would they get the shepherding they need? Seems like a pretty tough call to me‚ certainly anything but ideal!
54. I know it's not easy for a Home to receive a pregnant woman with all that that entails, especially the expense, or to receive the man who is the father of her child. There are many things to overcome, such as shortage of room‚ expenses‚ complications of new relationships and people learning to work together, etc. I understand that all Homes want each new member they receive to be "worth their salt" and able to carry their "fair share." But if you want to be part of the solution to help care for our single mothers, the Lord expects more of you than just saying, "Sorry, no room in the inn." Please carefully consider the following message from the Lord:
55. (Jesus speaking: ) I have given the option for the woman to release the man from his responsibility according to various guidelines I have set forth. If two Homes have legitimate reasons why they do not feel led to accept a man or a woman into the Home so that they can complete the 20-month minimum responsibility, then this may be reason for the woman to release the man from his charge. If I am guiding a man and woman to join together, I will likewise guide and provide for them the means to do so.
56. I wish for all My children, all My Homes‚ to act in love and prayer toward one another. Homes would all do well to seek Me and hear from Me through My voice of prophecy for confirmations to back up their decisions on whether to accept a member into their midst. Just as it is not a light thing for a woman to release a man from responsibility if I am leading them to be a parenting teamwork, neither is it a light thing for a Home to reject a member if I am leading them to receive him or her. The responsibility is on the shoulders of every voting member in these matters. These are serious matters, and I ask every member to make their decision in counsel with Me.
57. In the Love Charter I have given the Homes the freedom to decide personnel matters‚ and on this I stand firm—that My children may learn to govern themselves and act according to their faith. Yet I ask all to wisely consider these matters and make sound decisions. For if your brother and sister be naked and destitute and in need and you do not reach out your hand to help them, will you say, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled‚" while you give them not the things which are needful? Will you miss an opportunity if I am so leading to take in My Own and help them to serve Me?
58. I call you to live in love as I love you! I do not force you, My children, but I say‚ make wise decisions. I have freely given you all that I have. Will you not give freely to help your own?
59. One reason many Homes struggle and are not able to receive My full blessings is that they are yet reluctant to give freely as I have taught you. I call you to unite, to care for your brethren who love Me. I call you in this day of living the Law of Love to stretch your faith, to reach out, to seek Me and to do that which is right in My eyes.
60. There will be forsaking required on everyone's part, sacrificing—yet for those who follow closely, there will be great blessing, great satisfaction and great reward that will far surpass the farthest stretch of the imagination! I call My Family to reach the heights, to reach the goals for '98. For some this will entail enlarging your tents. I call My Family to be open. I call on every Home member to very prayerfully consider these matters. For it is not a light matter to shut your doors when I am leading you to open them and take others in. I put this responsibility on every voting Home member.
61. There will be many scenarios and many factors to consider, but where I guide, I will always provide. In a case where it would genuinely be difficult for a Home to receive a new member and this would truly be a hindrance to lives and ministries, then the option exists for the woman to release the man from his responsibility, if staying in her present Home would indeed provide better conditions. However, in keeping with the spirit of My Law of Love and "One Wife" vision, ideally I would that the Homes accept a man or woman into their Homes to accommodate these parenting teamworks with little exception. For ideally, this too is a large part of living My Law of Love‚ that the overall Bride also feel the responsibility and the duty to help out their brethren‚ assisting them in their time of need. (End of message from Jesus)
62. (Mama:) The Lord will hold each of you voting members responsible for the decision you make when considering whether or not to receive a new member into your Home to form a parenting teamwork. You are not required to receive such personnel. The power to reject the member's request is still in your hands according to the Charter, but the Lord also implores you to seek Him and hear from Him in prophecy for confirmations to back up your decisions on whether to accept a member. If you choose to not receive someone into your Home who hopes to form a parenting teamwork with one of your members, I strongly suggest you hear from the Lord in prophecy to get a confirmation to help you be sure you're hitting His highest will.
63. You might think you can't afford another Home member, especially a pregnant woman. You might look at it as an expense, inconvenience and hassle. But take heed to the Lord's warning when He said‚ "One reason many Homes struggle and are not able to receive My full blessings is that they are yet reluctant to give freely as I have taught you." In your refusal to receive someone in need, you might lose more in the long run because you stand to lose some of the Lord's blessings. Sure, you will have to spend money and time to care for a pregnant woman, but if you go ahead by faith, you never know how the Lord will choose to make up for that expenditure. Like the Good Samaritan who said, "Whatever thou spendest, I will repay," the Lord can bring in much more than you give, and He can use the most unexpected sources.
Can a Home vote out a member
of a parenting teamwork?
64. The question also came up about whether a Home would be able to vote a man out if he were fulfilling his 20-month minimum responsibility to one of the women in their Home. Dad again gave Charter-based counsel in answer to this question, as follows:
65. (Dad speaking: ) As far as voting someone out of your Home, this new 20-month minimum responsibility doesn't change the Charter rule on that at all. If a Home council decides that any member is not wanted in their Home, they have the right to vote that member out. If it happens to be the father of a child, the mother of the child is, of course, free to go with the man being voted out, if she chooses to do so. Of course, she doesn't have to, and she's free to stay on in the Home without the father if she prefers, in which case she would in essence be releasing him from his responsibility to her and their child.
66. There is the possibility that some men will use this loophole (to purposely get voted out of a Home) to get away from the responsibility of the care of the mother and their child. But God will catch up with them, and they will reap the fruit of their indifference and disobedience to the Lord's wishes! There is nothing that can be done in such a case, as people have free will and choice, but as always, God either uses soldiers to the full or minimally‚ according to the choices they make. So you just have to leave these types in God's hands. But the vast majority of the men will accept their responsibility and in the end be glad for it, and many will come to love and want to continue caring for the mother and child. (End of message from Dad.)
67. (Mama: ) According to this counsel, a man can be voted out of the Home even if he is fulfilling his 20-month minimum responsibility. In such a case, the woman can choose to stay in the Home or go with him. If she stays, she thereby releases him from his responsibility to her and their child.
68. While the man can be voted out of a Home, he cannot leave of his own accord while fulfilling his 20–month minimum responsibility, unless the mother of his child releases him from that responsibility or agrees to go with him.
69. Along these same lines, you may wonder, "If the woman is voted out of the Home, does the man who is in the parenting teamwork with her also have to leave?" Hopefully this‚ as in the case of the man being voted out of the Home, will be a very rare occurrence. The answer to this question is no. He can choose to go with her if he wants to‚ but he is not obligated to. If the woman is voted out of the Home and the man does not feel led to go with her, he is then released from his 20–month minimum responsibility. Here is a short message from the Lord on this point:
70. (Jesus speaking:) In the event that a man is involved in a parenting teamwork with a woman and she is voted out of the Home, I will not obligate the man to go with her‚ unless he so desires. If the woman is voted out of the Home, yet the man is not, then for this cause the man is released from his responsibility, unless it pleases him to go with the woman. The choice is up to him. (End of message from Jesus.)
What if a man or woman in a parenting teamwork has to leave the country
for legal or visa reasons?
71. (Mama:) There is the possibility that a man who is involved in a parenting teamwork may have visa or legal problems and need to leave the country in which he lives. There are several possible solutions should this occur. If the man can leave to take care of his business and then return to fulfill the rest of his 20-month minimum responsibility, he must do this. If the man is not able to return to his present Home, the woman can join him later, or she can release him from the remainder of his minimum responsibility. Another option is that the woman can leave the country with him, with neither of them returning. Here is a message from the Lord with further details:
72. (Jesus speaking:) Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's. When in Rome‚ do as the Romans. As My father Joseph was required to travel with My mother Mary to fulfill the law of Rome and register in Bethlehem, so in this world will you, My Family, be called on to abide by the laws of the land. Therefore when visas are required or legal matters need tending to, if it is necessary for a man to travel, he will need to do so.
73. In this case, the man and woman should pray and agree on what course of action they want to take, whether the woman will be able to accompany the man, or whether she will meet up with the man in the future if it can be worked out reasonably to receive clearance and raise fare, or whether the man will be able to take care of his business and return after having worked out his legal situation. If this possibility exists and the woman desires, the man must return to fulfill his duty.
74. In the event that the man must leave due to legal reasons and is unable to return‚ rather than join him, the woman may decide to stay on in her Home without the man and thus release him from the remaining duration of his responsibility. This choice I leave to the woman: to either stay in her Home and release the man from his duty‚ or to join up with him if the details can be worked out reasonably to receive clearance and raise fare, in which case the man must accept her until such a time as he has fulfilled his responsibility. As long as it pleases the woman to dwell with the man in order to complete the 20-month minimum responsibility, then the man is held to his responsibility.
75. There will be many and varied situations, and in each case the parenting teamworks must pray and seek Me for leading in these matters. (End of message from Jesus.)
76. (Mama: ) I wondered if this same counsel would apply when the woman has legal or visa problems that would necessitate her leaving the country. When we asked the Lord about this, He gave the following counsel:
77. (Jesus speaking:) If a woman should have visa or legal matters arise that would necessitate her having to leave the country, the man and woman should pray and see what is the best course of action to take. There will be many circumstances and all must seek Me to know what is best. If the woman leaves and can return, that's the ideal, because then she and the man can easily continue their parenting teamwork. If she leaves and could return but chooses not to‚ then it's the man's choice as to whether he joins her. If she leaves and cannot return, she must release the man from his responsibility if he chooses not to join her.
78. If the woman leaves the country for legal or visa reasons but then chooses not to return to the field, and thus releases the man from the minimum responsibility, she does so with My full blessing only if she prays and hears from Me and has My direct leading‚ and I lead her not to return. There may be legitimate and various reasons why I lead her not to return and thereby to release the man—perhaps due to conditions that are not the ideal‚ or because I open another door for her. But the key here is that the woman must have My leading on this. She will not have My full blessing if only for a matter of "whim" she decides to release the man and not return to her field, but it is legitimate if I am truly leading that way. If she has heard from Me and has My confirmation on not returning, then I will bless this decision.
79. If an unexpected legal situation comes up and the woman has to leave the country‚ should the man decide not to go with her, I will ask the man to do all he can to help her get to her new field and help assure that arrangements are made where she can land in a safe situation. (End of message from Jesus.)
80. (Mama: ) The ideal situation, should a woman have to leave the country to tend to visa or legal affairs, would be for her to return to complete the 20-month period of parenting teamworking. But if she chooses not to return to her former field, the man can travel with her or join her on her new field, if they both would like to do that; but the man is not obligated to do so, in which case the woman must release him. If the woman leaves and cannot return, then the man is released from his responsibility unless he chooses to join the woman on her new field.
81. If you are a man involved in a parenting teamwork and the mother of your child has to leave the country, if you choose not to travel with her, although it's not required, the loving thing to do is to help her prepare for the trip and do what you can to ensure that she has a good situation in which to land.
What if the woman wants to move to another Home but the man doesn't?
82. (Mama: ) Another question that parenting teamworks might face is, what if the woman wants to move to another Home but the man doesn't? Is he required to move with her in order to fulfill his 20–month minimum responsibility? The answer to this is no, he's not. On this, the Lord had the following to say:
83. (Jesus speaking:) Once a man and woman are joined in a parenting teamwork, all sides of matters pertaining to the two need to be carefully and prayerfully weighed and taken into account, in order to reach prayerful decisions that are good for all. If the woman is going to benefit from the help and support of the man‚ she must take into consideration the needs and calling of the man.
84. When a man and woman have entered a parenting teamwork and are established in one Home, any consideration for a move to a new location needs to be prayerfully considered to find what is best for all. When the woman wants to move on to a new location, if they have already been living and working in one Home and the man is established in the work, and he does not feel led to move on, the woman has the option of moving on without the man, thereby releasing him from his responsibility, or she can opt to stay with him in their already established location so that he can fulfill his responsibility. (End of message from Jesus.)
85. (Mama: ) If a man and woman are in an established parenting teamwork and the woman wants to move to another location‚ she cannot demand that the man move with her if he does not feel it's the Lord's will. She must consider his needs, desires and ministry as well. If they disagree about changing Homes, the woman can move on, thus releasing the man from his responsibility, or she can choose to stay with him in their present Home.
What if you're an established parenting teamwork and your Home closes?
86. In the event that your Home closes‚ it is best that a parenting teamwork continue their relationship by trying to seek out a Home that will receive the man, woman, and the child or children. If they can't find a Home that will vote to receive them‚ then they can open their own Home. Also, the woman can choose to release the man from his responsibility, if they cannot find a Home that will receive them and they do not feel it's the Lord's will to open their own Home.
87. Though there are these various options under which the single woman can choose to release you men from your responsibility, don't pressure the mother of your child to free you from your obligation. And don't count on her releasing you, because as far as the Lord is concerned, this is the minimum investment of your time, strength and energy to the life of a child that you have fathered‚ and to his mother. It might seem like a lot to you now, but overall, comparatively speaking, it's not that much!
What if Someone Fails to Fulfill
The Minimum Responsibility?
88. You're probably wondering whether there will be some kind of discipline within the Charter for failing to fulfill this minimum responsibility. Here is the answer to that question, from dear Dad himself!
89. (Dad speaking:) Let me tell you, if any of you boys think you can go around leaving babies that you've fathered, and you think you don't have to take on any responsibility and you're gonna get off scot–free, you've got another thing comin'! I'm not gonna stand by and let you get off the hook just like that, without the bat of an eye! I'm gonna require that some form of discipline be taken, for your own good and so you can learn your lesson, I hope!
90. If the mother of your child releases you from your responsibility, that's one thing. If the Lord has indicated through one of the reasons already spelled out here in this GN why it would not be His will for you to stay and help that mother‚ okay, that's all well and good. I'll accept that. There are exceptions, and the Lord Himself can alter His Own rules and guidelines. But for those of you who just plain flat-out refuse to help the mother when the Lord is leading that way; when that woman not only needs your help but wants it as well—yet you refuse to help and be a blessing—then I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to require that some course of action be taken.
91. God forbid that this be the case, and if it happens I feel sorry for you, because the Lord Himself simply cannot bless you as long as you neglect your responsibility to Him‚ to the mother of your child and to your Family. It's as simple as that. You're gonna have to learn your lesson somewhere down the line, that's just the way it is. You're in the Lord's hands and He will work in your life, He's promised that.
92. But in this case, after the Lord, you're in my hands too, as head of this Family! And let it be known right here and now that I'm not gonna stand by and wink at this type of negligence without some type of reprimand! For your own good, I'm gonna institute some measures that will hopefully work in your life!
93. If a man isn't responsible for his actions, if he can't take care of what he is responsible for‚ we can't very well trust that man with much responsibility in the affairs of our nation either! How can we trust an unfaithful man? For any man‚ whether he is single or married, who flat-out refuses to meet his obligations‚ I'd say he ought to be excommunicated—at least partially, if not completely from our midst! This might seem like a drastic measure to you‚ but let me tell you, God Himself does not take kindly to those who refuse to care for their own! His Word is clear on this when He says, "He that fails to care for his own is worse than an infidel" (1Tim. 5:8). Do you know what an infidel is?—An unbeliever! It's akin to a heretic, which God's Word says we are to reject. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, folks, but that's how the Lord sees those who absolutely refuse to obey and care for their own.
94. If a man flat–out refuses to fulfill his duty to God and to the woman who is bearing his baby, we are not going to put up with it in this outfit, unless the woman willingly chooses to release him from that responsibility. If this is not the case, and he flat–out refuses to fulfill his obligation, then he will be a candidate for either full or partial excommunication, as the CROs feel led.
95. To be forewarned is to be forearmed, boys! The Lord has given you His Word on the subject. He's given you many options and guidelines to follow, and if you take on the liberty of enjoying fucking or other ways of lovemaking that can result in pregnancy, He expects you to also take on the responsibility that comes with it. The Lord said there would be times when the man would not be required to fulfill his responsibility, because the woman released him for one of the legitimate reasons listed earlier, I'll grant you that. But if the woman who is having your child has not released you from your responsibility, and yet you refuse to be responsible‚ we cannot put up with it!
96. Well, that's my bark along with my bite! God help us, and God help you if you flat-out refuse to obey and follow God! (End of message from Dad.)
97. (Mama:) As you can see, Dad is very serious about this responsibility! He doesn't take kindly at all to you disobeying the Lord in this matter if the woman has not granted you release from this responsibility for one of the different reasons listed in paragraph 13. The various details of the new rules and counsel of this series have been worked into the new updated Charter‚ including making it an excommunicable offence if you refuse to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility in the event that you get a woman pregnant and do not feel led to marry her, unless the woman chooses to release you.
Questions on Releasing Men from
The Minimum Responsibility When
They're Headed to Another Country
98. One of the reasons the Lord gives for a woman to release a man from fulfilling the 20-month minimum responsibility is if either the man or the woman chooses to leave a rich, westernized mission field to go to a poor, non–westernized or non–Christian mission field. This raises some questions‚ which we sought the Lord about. I will try to answer these questions as simply as possible, either with answers based on prophecies received or with excerpts of prophecies.
99. All fields can be mission fields if the person who is in that field is a missionary at heart. But for the sake of this minimum responsibility policy, the Lord made a slight differentiation in the fields. There are those that are rich, westernized fields, which are the United States, Canada, Western Europe, Australia and New Zealand. And then there are the poor, non-westernized or non–Christian fields, which are all those except the five mentioned above.
100. For the sake of having a convenient handle on these two types of fields in this GN we will call the five rich, westernized and Christian-cultured fields the westernized fields; the other areas we will call the non-westernized fields. We could have chosen to call the two different areas the home fields and the mission fields, but since that wouldn't be completely accurate‚ we have opted for the westernized and non-westernized fields.
101. Question: What if you're already on a non-westernized field?
102. Answer: If you are already on a non-westernized field and a man who is part of a parenting teamwork wishes to move on to another Home on the same field or to another non-westernized field, he must first fulfill his 20-month minimum responsibility‚ unless the woman chooses to go with him or release him from that responsibility for one of the other reasons listed earlier in this Letter. But the man's desire to move on does not in itself constitute a strong enough reason to warrant a release from the responsibility. On this, the Lord said:
103. (Jesus speaking:) There will be cases, of course, when a woman on a non–westernized field will be led to release a man from his responsibility, but I do not mean for this to be done simply because the man wants to move. A woman can release a man from his responsibility when they are already on a non-westernized field, if I am leading that way according to the other options for releasing a man, but not merely for reasons of personal desire or his wanting to move on to a new location alone. (End of message from Jesus)
104. Question: What if the man goes from a westernized field to a non-westernized field, but it turns out he only stays for a couple of months and then leaves the non-westernized field and returns home? What happens then?
105. And what if the woman goes to a non-westernized field alone, having released the man from his responsibility, but she returns some time later? Is the man then held responsible to her and the child for whatever is left of the 20 months?
106. Answer: If a single mother has released the father of her child from his responsibility so he can go from a westernized field to a non-westernized field, that release is unconditional. If he does not remain on that field during the full time of what would be his 20-month minimum responsibility, but instead returns to the same field as before, then the mother and father of the child can pray together about any responsibility that they jointly agree for the father to take concerning the child, but he is not obligated to fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility. Of course, the loving and responsible thing for the man to do, if he were to return to the same field where the mother of his child lives, would be to fulfill what remains of his minimum responsibility to the woman and child, if that is what the woman desires. But that is not required.
107. If the woman releases the man from his responsibility so that she can travel from a westernized field to a non-westernized field and then later she returns, he is not obligated to rejoin her to fulfill what remains of the 20–month minimum responsibility. Again, the couple can contact one another and pray about what they want to do now that they're both on the same field again‚ but the woman cannot hold the man responsible. It must be by his choice.
108. Question: What if the man is on his way to another country and finds out a woman is pregnant with his baby? Must he stay to help her for the time of the minimum responsibility and then be on his way to wherever he was going afterward?
109. What if the woman is the one planning to change fields but finds out she's pregnant before leaving? Does the man have to travel with her?
110. (Jesus speaking: ) If a man knows he will be traveling soon, if he's written for clearance, then he should inform the woman he is sharing with of these plans. If they decide to fuck or participate in any kind of sexual activity that could result in pregnancy, and she ends up pregnant‚ then he's responsible to first pray about marriage, as in all situations, and if both do not feel they want to get married or they're not sure, then he can still leave as he had planned‚ as long as he has met these two requirements: 1. He had written for clearance to the mission field before having sex with the woman. 2. He informed the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance at the time that they made the decision to fuck.
111. But the man must realize that if she wants to, the woman who is pregnant with his baby has the right to join him on his new field to form a parenting teamwork, provided she gets clearance. So it's not that his telling the woman of his travel plans gets him "off the hook" of the minimum responsibility. It only gives him the right to travel as planned, with the understanding that he will not be required to return to his former field or country to care for her—but he must receive her should she choose to join him on his new field, if she gets clearance to his new Home or they find another Home to take them in or they open their own Home.
112. If he did not tell her about his travel plans and that he had written for clearance to another country at the time when they were deciding whether to fuck or risk pregnancy, then he's obligated to the minimum responsibility regardless of his travel plans or the fact that he has written for clearance. If he has not left yet when the woman finds out she's pregnant, then there are two options: If he's on a westernized mission field and is going to a non-westernized field, the woman can release him from his minimum responsibility if she feels led so that he can go to the non-westernized field. If he's on a non-westernized field already‚ then he is required to stay with the woman for the 20-month minimum responsibility, unless she chooses to go with him or release him from his responsibility for one of the other reasons listed earlier. But his simply wanting to travel, wanting to move on alone, is not enough reason for him to be exempt from his minimum responsibility to the woman and child if they are both on the non-westernized field. (End of message from Jesus)
113. (Mama:) The situation in which a woman is planning to travel to another field and has written for clearance is as follows:
114. (Jesus speaking:) If at the time the man and woman are making the decision about what type of sex they will have, the woman tells the man of her plans to travel and that she has written for clearance, then he's responsible for that knowledge‚ and if she gets pregnant, he must do all he can to accompany her to the field or join her there. His fucking her or engaging in sex that could result in pregnancy, knowing that she planned to travel and had written for clearance, means that, should she get pregnant, he agrees to also travel to that field, if he receives clearance to her Home, or they can find another Home to take them in on their new field, or they can open their own Home, in order to fulfill his responsibility to her and the child. In this case the man is obligated to try his best to join the woman on her new field, if she so desires‚ for he was aware at the time of having sex of what the woman's plans were.
115. If the woman does not tell the man of her plans to travel and that she's written for clearance to another country, if she becomes pregnant she can still travel, of course‚ but the man is not obligated to go with her. But if she chooses to forsake her plans to travel‚ then the man is held to the 20-month minimum responsibility because he knew that this would be his responsibility if she were to get pregnant. (End of message from Jesus.)
116. Question: What if the couple had sex and then the man left for another country, and later the woman finds out she's pregnant? If she doesn't want to release the father of her baby from his minimum responsibility, would he need to return to his former field?
117. Or what if she leaves for another country and then finds out she is pregnant? Is the man required to join her to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility?
118. (Jesus speaking:) If the man failed to tell the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance to another field, if the woman turns up pregnant, unless she chooses to release him from his responsibility‚ he will need to return to his former field to care for her and the baby. He would not need to return if she chooses to join him on his new field, provided she receives clearance to his Home or they can find another Home to take them in on their new field or they can open their own Home.
119. The man does not need to return to his former country to fulfill the minimum requirement if at the time that the man and woman made the decision to fuck, the man made clear to the woman his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance; this he should have done when they were making the joint decision to fuck.
120. If both the man and the woman made the decision to fuck knowing that the man was soon to travel to another country, I will not require that the man return to be with the woman if he feels led to stay on his new field; for the harvest is plenteous and the laborers are few, and the fields are white to harvest. In this case, however, the woman has the right to join him on his new field if she wants him to meet the 20-month minimum requirement.
121. If the woman did not tell the man of her plans to travel and that she had written for clearance at the time when they were deciding what to do on their date, then he is not required to join her if she finds she is pregnant after arriving on her new field. He can if they both wish for him to and if he receives clearance to her Home, or they can find another Home to take them in on their new field, or open their own Home, but he is not obligated. If she chooses to return to her former field, however, then he will be held responsible for the remainder of the 20–month minimum responsibility. (End of message from Jesus.)
122. (Mama:) The Lord again emphasizes the need to be prayerful and to seek His will in these matters. He also encouraged you that where He guides, He is able to provide!
123. (Jesus speaking: ) These decisions are weighty matters and of a serious nature. On one hand, the care of My little ones is in your hands, a responsibility that I regard in the highest degree. On the other hand, the care of My sheep is in your hands, which I also hold in high regard‚ the high calling of serving Me on the field where the harvest is indeed plenteous and the laborers are few. Therefore, it is wise that both mother and father seek Me with all diligence to know My highest will in these matters, and as they come to Me for direct instruction on how to move, I will make it clear. I will provide and I will guide on how to meet the need of these two great responsibilities.
124. If I have both given a child and am calling one or both of the parents to another field, it is because I have a definite plan. Therefore, let both mother and father seek Me with all diligence. It is possible that I am calling both man and woman to join as one and go to the field, and I will lead and provide and prepare the way. If I am not calling both parties to the field, I will provide other means for the woman and child to be cared for, and I will make this known also, as both parties come to Me. This too will be an indication of My will, for where I guide, I provide; and where I am not guiding‚ I withhold My provision.
125. This is one way you can know if a matter is My will, for where I guide, I always provide—either for both to go to the field, or for the mother and child to have their needs met another way. If I am calling both the man and woman to the field, and I have given a child, I am able to provide the needs for all. For did not those of the first generation travel the world with babes in arms, pioneering and reaping the harvest as they went? How much more so in these final days will I pour out My blessings so that there will not be room to contain them. I am able to supply abundantly and bountifully, if these will seek Me and follow closely where I lead. (End of message from Jesus.)
126. (Mama: ) This important counsel shows that just because a man wants to go to another field‚ that does not necessarily mean it's not the Lord's will for him and the woman carrying his child to be together, either as a married couple or as a parenting teamwork. The Lord makes it very clear that He can supply the needs for both of you to go to the field‚ if that's His will. Just because you're having a baby, dear women, it doesn't mean you can't be missionaries!
127. Another factor to be considered in this equation is clearance. Just because you want to go to another country to marry or form a parenting teamwork with someone who is there does not guarantee that you will receive clearance. You will have to go through the standard procedure to have a Home accept you as well as to request clearance from the CRO, and the CROs are not obligated to give you clearance just because you want to marry or form a parenting teamwork with someone on their field. There are many factors that are weighed up in the equation, as the Lord explains in this next message:
128. (Jesus speaking: ) If a person wishes to travel to another country to marry another or form a parenting teamwork, he or she must request clearance for that country as is explained in the Love Charter. The request will be processed in the normal fashion. Although the officers of the land to which you wish to travel will consider the fact that you wish to team up with someone on their field, you must understand that this need or desire alone does not overrule the discretion of the CROs or the circumstances which might necessitate their denying clearance. Just because you wish to marry someone or form a parenting teamwork with someone does not guarantee that you will receive clearance.
129. If you do not receive clearance, then you and your partner may apply for clearance to a different country‚ if you so desire, or your partner has the option of returning to the field where you are. In the latter case, however, I give this option but I will not require that a partner return from the mission field when clearance is denied, for this is a matter beyond their control. Therefore, if you are denied clearance, and your partner on the mission field is not led to return, the man is automatically released from his responsibility due to reasons beyond your control.
130. I have called both man and woman to prayerfully consider at the time you make a decision to fuck if one of you has plans to move to the mission field. You must take all factors into account; prayerfully weigh these matters and wisely decide if it is indeed "expedient" to engage in a form of sex that may produce a child, knowing that one partner is soon to travel to another country. (End of message from Jesus.)
What Say Does the Home Have in
The Decision to Release Someone
From Minimum Responsibility?
131. (Mama: ) Another question that comes to mind is: Does the Home have a say in whether the woman can or should release the father of her child from his 20-month minimum responsibility? Practically speaking, if the woman releases the man she still needs help from someone, and that help is going to come from the Home. Depending on how competent the single mother is or how many other children she has, that might put a strain on the Home and could affect the Home financially and organizationally. Therefore‚ the Home and Home teamwork might want to have some say in whether it's okay with them that the mother releases the man from his responsibility and then leans on the Home for the help she needs. On this, the Lord had the following counsel:
132. (Jesus speaking:) The Home teamwork and Home members should do all they can to shepherd and work with parenting teamworks. They should do all they can to make it a happy Home for parenting teamworking couples so they will want to be productive members of their Home. However, if a woman in a parenting teamwork makes the decision to release the man from his parenting teamwork responsibilities‚ the Home cannot prevent her from doing so. The Home can try to reason with the couple, showing them the need to stay together to care for the baby, especially if the Home will find it difficult to take on the added responsibility that the father of the child would leave behind.
133. The parenting teamwork must take the Home into consideration when making such a major decision. It behooves the woman to be sure she is able to care for the child and her other Home responsibilities or that she has sufficient help, support and the blessing of her Home before deciding to release the father of her child from his parenting teamwork responsibilities.
134. This is not a decision that should be taken lightly by the woman, as it could greatly affect her life and that of her child. That is the reason I am instituting this 20-month minimum requirement, so that the new mother will have a companion to help her through her pregnancy and a father figure to help with her child for one year. Women considering releasing men from this responsibility should seek Me diligently first. And they would be wise to counsel with and receive the support of their Home before making any final decision on the matter. (End of message from Jesus.)
135. (Mama:) As you can see, the Lord leaves the decision of whether to release the man from his 20-month minimum responsibility in the hands of the woman. But I want to caution you ladies to please be very open to shepherding and counsel when making this decision. The Lord has not given your Home teamwork or your Home council the authority to override your decision in this matter, which I'm sure you're happy about. However, you must realize that your decision will affect your Home, so you need to be wise, open to counsel and very desperate with the Lord.
136. In fact, all of you who are having full sex should be open to the counsel of your shepherds regarding the possible consequences and how you will handle them. A single woman becoming pregnant can have major repercussions for your Home, with their having to possibly receive new personnel, help you learn to teamwork together, etc. Or if you as a single mother refuse the help of the father of the baby, then it's more work and responsibility for the Home in general. So it's only fair that you be open to the counsel of your shepherds (or parents, if you're senior teens). If you have a "this-is-my-business-quit-butting-in" attitude, it will cause some real problems. So be wise and be open to counsel!—And the best time to be open to counsel is before you decide to fuck or engage in any sexual activity that could result in pregnancy!
When the Woman Refuses
The Man's Help
137. There are several legitimate reasons listed earlier why a woman might feel led to release the father of her child from his 20-month minimum responsibility. But what happens if she just plain doesn't want his help? Maybe she just doesn't like the guy and doesn't want him around. What if the man is willing, even eager to fulfill his responsibility, but the woman refuses his help? Can she do that? Here are the Lord's answers to these questions:
138. (Jesus speaking: ) As I have said, the woman may release the man from his responsibility, therefore ultimately the decision lies within the majesty of the woman's choice‚ for I do not force. I give the man and woman the responsibility of decision-making, yet of the two‚ one must have the last word when it comes to fulfilling the 20-month minimum responsibility or not, and this falls on the shoulders of the woman who bears the child, for that woman bears the responsibility to nourish and feed and give suck to that child in the early years. She will also bear much responsibility for years to come. She, in a sense, has no choice in the matter; the responsibility for that child is hers whether she wants it or not, with little relief or reprieve. She has borne that child in her flesh and therefore the final decision regarding the 20-month minimum responsibility lies on her shoulders.
139. All My children will give account before Me for their actions and must be responsible for their decisions. I do not obligate the woman to continue with the man in a parenting teamwork, if she desires to release him. However, that woman will be held accountable for the decision she makes, and the wise woman will base such important decisions on direct leading from Me, on hearing from Me and receiving My confirmation on how to proceed, and not on feelings alone.
140. And if a man willingly and lovingly takes up his responsibility‚ yet the woman is reluctant to receive his love and care, let him learn of Me and My patience, love and faith. For many of My Own ignore My loving care when I offer it to them at every turn. Many of My Own fail to come to Me, fail to accept the love I would offer as I hold out My hand, as I open My arms to give love and comfort and care. Therefore, to would-be fathers and husbands who would give of your love and care and yet it is not received, I say‚ have patience. Hold on to your hope and faith, trusting Me and committing all things to Me in prayer.
141. When you long to fill that role and the woman is reluctant, keep following My sample of unconditional love. Keep on loving and caring, doing what you can, when you can, as far as is within your power. Keep looking to Me for leading to know what you can do and where, when and how much, and I will guide you. Keep loving her unconditionally with open arms. Be ready, available, always willing to fill the need, until such a time as she changes her mind and comes around to accept your love and care‚ or I make plain to you that it is time to move on. (End of message from Jesus.)
142. (Mama:) The Lord does give the woman the final say in this decision, yet He makes it clear that the woman will be held accountable for the decision she makes and reminds us that such decisions are not to be taken lightly. They should be based on His direct leading, as well as His confirmation in prophecy.
143. After reading the above message‚ some of you men in particular might feel that if you neglect to take responsibility for your child in the form of the parenting teamwork, the repercussions are far greater than that of a woman who is allowed to make the decision not to live and work together with you with what appears to be few repercussions. You will be excommunicated for refusing to fulfill this 20-month minimum responsibility, but the woman is not disciplined under the Charter for refusing your help. We brought this situation before the Lord, and here is what He had to say:
144. (Jesus speaking:) It is not a light matter for a woman to deny her child a father if I am not leading her to another arrangement that is acceptable in My sight. There will be times when I will lead a woman to release the man from his responsibility for varied reasons, but in the case where it is not My will to release a man, and yet the woman makes the decision to go ahead and release him‚ you must not think that this woman will feel no repercussions—for I will hold her to account.
145. If I am not leading a woman to release a man from his responsibility in accordance with one of the reasons that is acceptable in My sight, if she insists on having her way and going it alone, she will feel repercussions in the form of heavier burdens, in the form of missed opportunities and missed blessings that I would otherwise have given had she followed Me closely. And most seriously, she will reap the repercussions in her child, for unless I lead the mother otherwise, that child will be found lacking. And this is the heaviest of all repercussions, the hardest to face, the most difficult to have to give account for when you stand before Me. (End of message from Jesus)
The Importance of the Father Even
During the First Year of Childhood
146. (Mama: ) When one of our CROs was reading an advance copy of this Letter before it was finalized, she commented:
147. I have a question about the proposal that the father of the child stay with the mother and child for one year. It seems that before a child reaches a year he's not very tuned in to the father and the father doesn't have much personal influence or effect upon the baby; the mother's role is the most important in the early years. So it seems that the main benefit of a mother staying with the parenting teamwork for the full 20 months is for her own sake, although of course if her needs are met through the parenting teamwork, it's going to make for a happier mother and this will be reflected in the baby. But if she's unhappy, or the situation is difficult, I don't know that the "needs of the child" at such a young age would be such a consideration, as I believe the child's need for a father figure would come into play more in the ensuing years when the child grows older—but at that stage the parenting teamwork is no longer required. (End of comment from CRO.)
148. (Mama: ) I asked the Lord about this, since I also wondered why He had specified that the parenting teamwork be required until the child is one year old. Here is His fascinating answer:
149. (Jesus speaking:) Every child needs a father, for I have created it thus. As goes the way of the natural man, a child's first year is the most important year of his life! This is why I put emphasis on the first year. In that first year the baby is establishing his links for his lifetime on Earth. That child is more attuned, more adept in spirit than you give him credit for, and also naturally, in his flesh, he is able to learn more and faster in this first year than at any other time in his life.
150. This is why the mother of a child must truly seek Me and hear clearly as to how I am leading when considering whether to depart from the parenting teamwork. In some cases I will lead her to a new situation, when I have a better plan and a place prepared for the mother and child to receive adequate care. The goal is that all are cared for and all the needs are being met. The mother of the child must consider the child first, above her own wants and desires, for this is the responsibility of parenthood.
151. The care of the child in the first year is of utmost importance, as that babe is establishing his human bonds and ties. With My children, I am able to override negative influences. I am able to help My children by My Spirit to overcome handicaps and to learn quickly and at a good pace later on in life as well. If My children, both old and young, had a rocky road during their first year of earthly life, I am able to erase and make good and help and strengthen, as I have done time and time again; for all things work together for good to those who love Me. But I would have you do all within your means to assure the best care for My little ones in their first year, and in the way of the natural it is a good thing to start out on the right foot.
152. A babe is made to learn and grow by incredible leaps and bounds his first year. In the first year, patterns are established—behavioral patterns, thought patterns, as well as patterns in spirit. That child is being influenced from the womb and during his first year of life at an incredible rate by all that is around him!
153. Think not that a child is not greatly influenced in his first year by his father, for I say great is the influence during this first year of life! The hand that rocks the cradle influences the world. That child does have a special bond with his mother. Yet this does not negate the great influence a father can have through his support and prayer‚ as well as directly with the child, as well as through the mother, for if she is happy and well cared for, this will also influence the child. (End of message from Jesus.)
Being a Father to All the Children
154. (Mama:) Upon reading this counsel about the 20-month minimum responsibility‚ your first reaction might be to apply it to single women who are childless. But what about single women who have another child or other children and who become pregnant again? One of the CROs commented: "From what we've seen, it seems that once a mother has a few kids and is single, it's sort of taken for granted that whether the next guy gets her pregnant or not, he wouldn't have to assume the responsibility for her, since she's already a single mom. I guess he figures that if he were required to take responsibility for her, then so should the other men who helped her have children. I assume that the most loving thing would be to apply this counsel to the single women who already have kids, not just to those who are single and pregnant with their first child." (End of comments from CRO.)
155. Along the same lines, when reading this series as it was being finalized, someone in our Home commented:
156. I'm wondering about the cases where the single mom has more than one child. Is the man only supposed to help with that one that he has actually fathered? I can see that leading to a lot of hurt in the lives of the other children, even bitterness or feeling neglected. In many cases‚ I don't think the single moms even make it clear to the kids until they're much older who their natural fathers are, just because it can cause hurt feelings or teasing, etc., when they're not old enough to understand such things. So if the man were only going to take care of his own flesh child, this would be hard to explain to the other kids without getting into it all and making them feel bad that their daddies are not around to do fun things with them. That's why I wonder if it's hurtful to single out that one child to receive the care from his natural father, when the others don't have anyone taking that special time with them.
157. Maybe that's the Lord's plan, but if so‚ it would be helpful to have some counsel for the mother on how to not make the rest of her children feel neglected or cheated. Either that or maybe the Lord would want the man and woman to be a parenting teamwork for all the kids, not just the one, and show them impartial love. Then the complication of explaining that "it's because he's so-and–so's daddy" won't even come into question. I understand that's a greater burden on the man, especially if the mom has several children, but it would be good to have clear counsel on that aspect of it. (End of comments.)
158. (Mama:) When we asked the Lord about these questions, He gave a very strong and convincing answer, which I don't think will be a surprise to you who know the nature and love of God.
159. (Jesus speaking:) If you love Me, feed My lambs! If you love Me‚ care for My precious Brides and their little lambs, for these are Mine. All Mine are thine, for I give them into your hands to love, to care for, to feed and nourish, to have and to hold, to protect and to guard from all harm and danger. How then will you say, I choose this one and not the other? How long, how long, how long‚ My fathers, will you say you love Me and yet not care for My little ones? How long?
160. I give My precious Law of Love that you might know the love and freedom of My Spirit, that I might set at liberty you who have been bound, that you might be free from the shackles and bondage of selfish living. Yet will you take this liberty only in part? Will you forgo that which appears at first glance to not be to your liking, and in doing so, shun the blessing that comes with it? Will you choose only that part which tickles your fancy and leave the rest behind? Will you tie My hands through your selfish ways‚ binding My power to give you the full blessings that come with full responsibility?
161. Where are the real fathers? Who will care for My little ones? Who will love these as I love you? Where are My mighty men of valor? Where are My mighty men of David, My men of truth, of integrity, of courage, of faith, of love? Where are the men who walk after My Own heart, as David your king did? Where are My responsible ones who will not seek to do the very least, but who will seek to receive My full blessing? Where are the ones who will stand up and be counted and answer My call?
162. I do not give you these guidelines that you might shimmy and shake and escape out of My hand with the very least you can do! I give you the minimum that you might willingly grow into the maximum.
163. If you love Me, feed My little lambs—one and all! If you love Me, guard, cherish, protect and love these precious ones whom I commit into your care—My precious Brides and their little lambs. If you love Me, keep My commandment, for even so have I loved you. I say to you now, love these little ones that I give to your care. (End of message from Jesus.)
164. (Mama: ) The Lord makes it clear with this impassioned plea that He wants you men who are fulfilling your 20-month minimum responsibility to the woman who is bearing your child to also help care for her other children, if she has any. It would be so very sad if only one child of a single woman had the attention, love, support and friendship of a father figure, while the others didn't. Just put yourself in the place of the other little children and think how heartbreaking that would be. Please have enough love to help care for and shepherd all the children as your own, and if you don't have that much love, ask the Lord for it! It's so very important. I know you don't want to be guilty of sincerely trying to love and care for your own child while at the same time deeply wounding other children. Please let your parenting teamwork be a refuge of love, prayer, concern and friendship for all the children of the woman who is bearing your child!
Explaining Parenting Teamworks
To Children
165. If you are a single mother with older children, you might feel the need for some counsel about what would be the wisest way to explain this new parenting teamwork to your children. You might be a little worried about when it comes time to end the parenting teamwork‚ because undoubtedly by that time your children will have become very attached to the man you're teamworking with. Here is some counsel from our loving, caring Husband that will make the adjustments much easier both when the parenting teamwork first forms and also later, if and when it comes to an end. There is other counsel in this message that will help your teamworking be more fruitful for the children.
166. (Jesus speaking:) When a man and a woman have agreed to enter a parenting teamwork rather than join in marriage, if the mother already has children and the man will become a father figure to them during those 20 months, then I call both man and woman to act in wisdom in handling the hearts of these little ones. Although the man will be playing a father's role in helping to care for the woman and any children she may have, taking into consideration the teamwork is not permanent but rather for 20 months, they are wise to act accordingly.
167. In this case‚ though the man will fill the role of a father figure, this does not necessarily mean he will need to take on the title of "daddy" or "papa" to those children, lest when the 20-month term is completed and the man moves on, little hearts may be left in confusion.
168. As long as the teamwork is maintaining the short-term vision, more often than not it is wise for the man to fulfill his fatherly role without the title "daddy‚" and instead be a caretaker, a loving friend, a loving uncle. If the time comes when I lead the couple to change their original agreement of the 20-month minimum responsibility and they wish to move into marriage, then the title of "daddy" can be accepted.
169. In the case of a short-term parenting team, it is wise to approach this matter as naturally and lovingly and in as upbeat a way as possible. I would advise these teamworks to take it a step at a time‚ seeking Me always for guidance. They must agree how the man will interact with the children, and I will lead in each case, so that the man and woman will be of one mind and heart in all matters such as titles, names, needed explanations and so on.
170. Invariably, over a period of 20 months many things will come up and there will be many things that the man and woman will need to pray about and discuss regarding the children, be it discipline‚ their training in the Word and spiritual matters, schooling‚ needs, etc. It will be important that the man and woman back each other up in front of the children, in deeds and actions.
171. Both the man and the woman must be careful and prayerful not to encourage what has not been agreed upon between them, nor exhibit actions that would require anything more or less than what has been agreed upon between them. For example‚ the mother would not want to refer to the man as "daddy" in front of the children if I have not led them in a joint decision on this, nor would the man encourage the children to call him "daddy" if I have not led this way in a united decision between him and the mother.
172. Let all be agreed that walk together, of the same mind and speaking the same thing. Home members should be thoughtful and loving and sensitive to these issues and respectful of the mother and acting father's decision as well, in the best interests of the children. Home members should be made aware so as not to unwisely slip in unprayerful or thoughtless comments referring to the man as "daddy" if this title is not taken on by the man.
173. As the parenting teamwork approaches these matters with wisdom, love and prayer, down the road when the time comes to move on, it is more easily explained to the children that the time has come for the man to move on to serve Me in a different capacity that I call him to. I often call My children from Home to Home, location to location, as you go into all the world to preach the Gospel. I often lead you from one set of loved ones to another, for I make you one, My "One Wife" Family.
174. In the ministry that I have called My Family to‚ it should be normal and natural for people to move on to do a job for Me. Missionaries come and go, and a good deal of movement, action, comings and goings in the greater Family is not foreign to My children. Therefore explain in love and wisdom to the children, when the time comes, that it is now time for the man to move on.
175. You may stress that the love I put in everyone's hearts will never die. When friendships are born in Me, they live on forever. Life is a series of interactions with many people—many brothers‚ sisters, aunts, uncles, parents—all living and working together to meet the common goal, for I have made you all My "One Wife" Family, My Family of love. I never call you to say good-bye, but only "till we meet again." The time of parting should be positive, upbeat, bathed in much prayer and support in spirit for all parties concerned so that happy memories can be preserved‚ so that prayer, friendship, camaraderie and support in spirit can live on.
176. Of course, please don't forget that in some situations I will lead the parenting teamwork not to part ways but to marry. In many situations, with time, there will be an increase in conviction to follow My Word when I say the best solution in the event of pregnancy is marriage. So I ask that you sincerely seek Me regarding My will before you separate. Be fully persuaded in your own mind and heart before moving on.
177. Again, there will be many scenarios, many combinations of circumstances and situations, and the best direction I can give you is that in each and every case the man and woman should seek Me for direction on how to handle these things in love and wisdom. As you teach your children in My ways, as you train them in the nurture and admonition of My Word, I am able to turn all these things to work together for good. But you must pray. You must seek Me and handle these little hearts with love and tender care. (End of message from Jesus.)
More Questions
About Minimum Responsibility
178. (Mama: ) There are several other practical questions that come to mind regarding this minimum responsibility. I'll try to address those here.
When there are several possibilities
of who the father is
179. To begin with, what if the mother isn't sure who the father of her child is? For example, what if she had intercourse or some kind of sex that can result in pregnancy with more than one man the month she got pregnant? To avoid such a predicament, should a woman have intercourse with only one of her partners each month, if she shares with more than one person each month? We asked the Lord about these questions and He gave the following answers, which you will see are flexible. He puts the responsibility in your hands to pray and find His will for you personally.
180. (Jesus speaking: ) I will not make a hard and fast rule that a woman stick to one sharing partner each month with whom she has intercourse, for My Spirit may be leading otherwise. This is a matter of the woman's faith and the faith of those with whom she shares. This is a matter of personal choice and personal faith. If a woman is sharing with more than one partner and having intercourse, open honest communication is a vital key, so that both the woman and her partners can count the cost as they seek Me in prayer for direction.
181. I will not make it a rule to have only one full sex partner‚ for this would encroach on the liberty and freedom and faith of some. It's up to each person to make their choice as they seek Me to know My will. There will be those of both generations who I may lead for different reasons to fuck more than one partner. Let each proceed according to their faith and trust Me for the results. I leave both options open—to have one full sex partner each month or to have more than one. According to your faith be it done.
182. When the woman does not know who the father of her baby is, she cannot hold any of the men fully to the 20-month minimum responsibility. The men involved are on the honor system. They must do what they will do out of love and conviction, without the "law" telling them that they must. If the woman fucks more than one man in a month, she must do so knowing that she will not have the same "leverage" in hoping to have the full support, help and a father figure for the 20 months, because out of necessity I must give more flexibility in such cases.
183. Until such a time as I make it clear to all parties, the responsibility may be spread out among all the candidates, having all the men help to care for that mother in some way, all pitching in to do their part. What is not acceptable in My sight, however‚ is that those who have taken the step to share and make love, resulting in a baby, look the other way and say‚ "I have no part in this matter." When a woman has laid down her life to reach out and love a man, to give and share love in this way, the recipient of this love is responsible to meet his obligation of love. I cannot fully bless the man who would say afterwards to the woman, "Depart from me, I never knew you." My Family, My Family, I call you to love and care for one another!
184. All the men who are potential fathers to the child should take the situation seriously and be willing to pray about their role in the care of the mother and child. The ideal would be that all the men take part in the care of the mother until such time as they know who the father is. But this won't be possible in all cases, because the affairs of the Kingdom will take priority in some cases. It will not be possible in all cases for several men to put their lives "on hold" as far as travel to a mission field or taking up a new ministry in another Home or area. This is something that the woman must consider when she chooses to have sex that can result in pregnancy with more than one man.
185. But I caution you women not to overreact to these conditions, not to take on the mentality of "one lover only," because that goes against the foundation principles of My Law of Love in which I ask My children to lay down their lives for those in need.
186. What you can do if you don't want to be in a difficult position where you don't know who's the father of your child is to choose to have full sex with only one man each month. But that should not stop you from other forms of lovemaking‚ mutual masturbation and oral sex, which can also be very satisfying‚ and which leave you available to take care of those in need, even if you don't want to take a chance on getting pregnant, or you don't want any confusion as to who the father of your child is should you get pregnant.
187. I have given the 20-month minimum responsibility as a partial solution to help the Family care more for the single mothers. But I will not put the care of one pregnant woman above the progress of My Body or the progress of My missionaries. It is for that reason that I do not make it mandatory that several men be "on hold," waiting to find out who the father of the baby is. All should pray, and pray desperately, to see what I would have them to do. And all should be in the fear of Me, knowing that I cannot fully bless those who shirk their responsibilities or My leading in their lives. But in the event that there are several possibilities of who the father of the baby is, I will not hold each man who is a potential candidate responsible for the official 20-month minimum responsibility.
188. I do expect them, however, to be prayerful, considerate, responsible and mature. I'm not letting these men off scot-free. I still expect them to take responsibility as I reveal it to them. I want them, as much as possible, to be a help, support and companion to the woman, to care for her, show concern and love. I want them to show interest and not to simply blow off their responsibility or the role I would have them to play. This situation takes more love‚ because I leave more of the decision in their hands and I ask, instead of demand, that they follow My lead and be a caring, loving, attentive helper. (End of message from Jesus.)
189. (Mama:) I'll recap this message for you. If a woman is not sure who the father of her baby is‚ then she cannot expect the various men who are possibilities to all fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility. In fact, she cannot demand that any of them do so. But that doesn't mean that the Lord is allowing you men who are in such a situation to just go on your merry way, without even thinking or praying about the pregnant woman. He hopes you'll seriously pray about any responsibility He wants you to take and make yourself available to help the woman as much as you can.
190. The Lord mentions that you women can choose to have one sex partner a month with whom you have intercourse, or any sex that could result in pregnancy, and then use other lovemaking methods with your other partners. That is one way you can still live the Law of Love fully, take care of those in need, and not end up pregnant and not knowing who the father of your child is. This is not required; this is just one option.
What happens when it's
determined who the father is?
191. The question that begs to be asked is, "What happens when it's finally determined who the father of the baby is?" Here is the Lord's counsel on that:
192. (Jesus speaking: ) If the woman and the father of the child are living apart or living in the same Home when it becomes obvious who the father of the child is, and both mother and father are agreed on this matter, they can communicate and prayerfully decide together where to go from there. It is preferred that the man and the woman marry. But if they do not feel that is My will, then the man must fulfill what remains of the minimum responsibility, helping to care for the mother and child until the child is one year old. Of course, the woman can release the man from the responsibility if she feels so led of Me in accordance with the 10 points listed earlier, but it would be best, unless they are definitely led of Me otherwise, that the man be there for the woman and child, as a support, provider, helper‚ prayer partner‚ companion, father figure, and possible lover. This is what I require of the father of the child‚ unless the mother feels led otherwise. (End of message from Jesus.)
193. (Mama:) What the Lord is saying here is that if it is determined later that the baby is yours, and you both are in agreement about it‚ the preferred action in most cases would be that you and the woman marry. But if you've both prayed and also received confirming prophecies that you should not marry, or you are not yet sure that that is what you want to do, then the father of the child will at least be held responsible to complete what remains of the time of the minimum responsibility, if the woman so desires.
What if the man is involved with
someone else when he discovers
he's a father?
194. We also asked the Lord what if the man is involved with someone else or has already gotten married to someone else when it becomes obvious that he's the father of the child? Is he still responsible to fulfill what is left of the minimum responsibility?
195. (Jesus speaking:) Yes, even if the man has gotten involved with another woman in the meantime, as a steady girlfriend or lover, or even if he has since gotten married, if the man and woman agree that he is the father of the child, he will be held responsible for fulfilling the minimum responsibility, if the woman who bore his child so desires. If a man knows there's a possibility that he might have fathered a child with someone else, he should let this be known to any woman he becomes seriously involved with in the future, until such time as he knows that he is not the father of the child, or until he has fulfilled the minimum responsibility, or until the mother of the child has released him from his responsibility. (End of message from Jesus)
196. (Mama:) If after November 1 you create a child with someone but you're not sure you're the father, so you go on to get involved with someone else or you even get married, and then later you and the mother of the child agree that you are the father of that child, you will need to take care of that woman and your child until he is one year old, unless she releases you. This might seem unfair to you, especially to that woman who has since gotten involved with you, but to minimize the problems, it is recommended that you tell your new girlfriend or potential wife in advance that there is a possibility that you fathered a child and that you might be called upon to care for a child and join with the mother of that child in a parenting teamwork. If the woman you have since gotten together with truly loves you, she should be able to handle this, even though difficult, and stick by you in spite of these less than ideal circumstances. (Note: This would only apply to children conceived after November 1. This counsel is not retroactive.)
What if the man is responsible for
more than one woman becoming
pregnant?
197. The Lord has answered the question of what to do if a woman becomes pregnant and there is more than one possibility of who the father is. But what if the tables are turned? What if a man is responsible for more than one woman becoming pregnant—how should that be handled in light of the minimum responsibility requirements? We brought this question to the Lord, and following is what He had to say on this:
198. (Jesus speaking: ) When a man has impregnated more than one woman, he is required to pray about the relationship he will have with each one. First he should pray about the option of marriage to see how I would lead him in that respect. It could be that I would lead him to marry one of the women or that they would enter into a threesome relationship. There is also the possibility that I would lead him to marry one and assume the 20-month minimum responsibility with the other. Or there is the possibility that I would lead him to assume the 20-month minimum responsibility with both women, in which case‚ of course, they would have to make arrangements to all live in the same Home.
199. I will require that he take on at least the minimum requirement of responsibility for each woman, according to the guidelines I have already laid out in this Letter. The man is responsible for each child he creates, and therefore will need to meet the minimum requirement for all the women, unless one of them is led to release him from his responsibility.
200. I advise all of you who feel led to engage in full sex with more than one partner to be open and honest with all your sharing partners. In cases where you feel led to engage in any form of sex where there is a possibility of pregnancy resulting, it is wise to ask your partner what arrangements he or she has with others. You should also offer the information as to whether you are having sex with anyone else that could result in pregnancy. I call you to unity‚ to openness and to honesty in these matters, that you all may make prayerful decisions, having been well informed of the possible consequences. (End of message from Jesus.)
201. (Mama: ) The Lord makes it clear that if a man creates a child with more than one woman‚ he is not let off the hook of his responsibility to pray and seek the Lord about how to handle each one. There are several options: A permanent threesome in the event that there are two women who agree to such an arrangement, marriage to one woman and a parenting teamwork with the other(s), a parenting teamwork with all the women, or there is the possibility that one or more of the women will not choose to marry the man and will feel led of the Lord to release him from his 20–month minimum responsibility.
202. It's obvious why it's important to communicate with those whom you're fucking or having any kind or sex that might result in pregnancy, such as putting the penis in and pulling out before ejaculation, fucking with a condom‚ masturbating the woman's vaginal area with the penis, etc. If you're doing this with more than one person, then it's important that you inform your sharing partners of this, and the time to inform them is when you're deciding what you'll do on your date. Don't wait to tell them until after you've had your date!
203. When it comes to whether you or your sharing partners are fucking someone else, there should be mutual communication. Your sharing partner should not be led to believe that he or she is the "only one" with whom you're having intercourse or other sexual activities that might result in pregnancy if that is not true. If you decide to share some kind of sex that might result in pregnancy, then both the man and the woman need to be open about whether they participate in any similar activities with others. This kind of communication is not easy; it requires humility, but it's fair and it will make things go much more smoothly in the long run. After all‚ if you might end up in a threesome or a great big parenting teamwork, I think you'd want to know that in advance and take that into consideration when praying about whether you'll fuck someone, wouldn't you?
Should you support the mother even though you've been released from minimum responsibility?
204. If you were a candidate to be involved in a parenting teamwork but the woman released you from that responsibility, the question may come up as to whether you should at least support her and the child financially. The Lord makes it clear that when you're in a parenting teamwork, living in the same Home, you contribute to the financial supply of the mother and child's needs by being a part of the same Home and contributing to the Home's finances through your outreach efforts and fundraising, or your help on the Home front, depending on your ministry, gifts and talents. But what if you're not in the same Home and therefore not contributing in that way; what other obligation do you have? We prayed about this question and the Lord gave the following answer:
205. (Jesus speaking:) From each according to his ability, unto each according to his need. There will be many and varied arrangements in these situations and each must be judged on its own merits. The ideal is that all My children live according to My blueprint plan of Acts 2:44 and 45, which was pioneered by My early disciples, for this plan still holds true today. If all that believe share all things and part their goods according to the need, as My children give that which is in their hands to give‚ then the needs will be met. My Own financial plan will not fail.
206. I will not require that a minimum financial amount be given to a single mother and her child, for again I say, from each according to his ability and unto each according to the need. I call My Family to live the "One Wife" vision; in this you will find great success.
207. All things work together for good, and if the father of the child has the means to give, this would be one way to help supply the need in some cases. A father may not be able to help directly with financial help, yet he may want to help with goods, such as children's clothes or equipment and so on. A father may not be able to help on a monthly basis, but on occasion‚ when the need warrants, he might find it possible to help. If a father is unable to help financially, through his support in prayer I am able to answer with abundant supply. There is an infinite variety of ways and means to help support each other both physically, through the sharing of actual material goods and financial donations‚ and also spiritually, through prayer, moral support, communication and kind words, to let the mother and child know you care and are upholding them in spirit.
208. As everyone shares their possessions and goods, if you will part them to all according to the genuine need, then the needs will be met. The key is for each one to do his part; let everyone pray and seek Me as to what their part is. From each according to his ability and unto each according to the need. (End of message from Jesus.)
209. (Mama:) According to what the Lord said earlier, if you are released from your minimum 20-month responsibility, that release is unconditional. The Lord is not requiring a definite financial support, such as a form of alimony. But He does encourage you to help in whatever way you can, as much as you can, either regularly or sporadically, not because it's required but because it's the loving thing to do. These gifts and support can be in the form of finances‚ goods‚ or prayer, moral support and encouragement. This is a good sales pitch from the Lord on the financial basis for the Family—living Acts 2:44 and 45, which is one of our goals for 1998. Please try to do all you can to give according to your ability to those in need!
Recap of Minimum Responsibility
210. Since I've covered so many different scenarios and aspects of the minimum responsibility, I feel it would be helpful to repeat it here concisely in point form, so that it is clear and there are no misunderstandings. All of the points below will be incorporated into new Charter amendments in the new revised Charter and included in the Charter LNF, both of which you should be receiving in a couple of months, D.V.
211. * The Lord says when a child results from your lovemaking‚ in most cases it is His will that you marry. But, beginning November 1, if you men create a child with a single woman‚ if after you have sought the Lord and heard from Him in prophecy and received confirming prophecies from others, you are not sure that you want to get married, or you feel that it is not the Lord's will that you get married, you will be responsible to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility. This means forming a parenting teamwork in which you will live in the same Home as the mother of your child, help to care for her physically, emotionally and spiritually throughout her entire pregnancy‚ and then help to care for her and the baby for the first year of the child's life, unless she releases you of this responsibility earlier.
212. * The 20-month minimum responsibility applies to all pregnancies, even if they are "unexpected"—meaning the man and woman didn't intend to fuck but they did, or they chose to use a condom and it broke or came off, etc. The minimum responsibility applies regardless of whether a man is married or already involved in another relationship. (Please see Part 7 of this series for the details of the minimum responsibility in the case of a married man getting a single woman pregnant‚ as some of the details mentioned below may vary in such a case.)
213. * There are 10 main reasons why the single mother may feel led to release the father of her child from the 20-month minimum responsibility. (See paragraphs 13 and 35 for details.) If a woman decides to release a man from his minimum responsibility she should hear from the Lord in prophecy‚ and it's recommended she seek confirming prophecies from her elders as well.
214. * All releases from the minimum responsibility are unconditional. The woman cannot change her mind later and then hold the man responsible. If the man who was released later chooses of his own accord to fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility, that is fine, but she cannot demand it.
215. * Releases from the minimum responsibility must be recorded in writing‚ using the minimum responsibility release form provided in the Charter. The single woman is to sign the form and there must be the signature of one teamworker from her Home as a witness. The man and single woman, or couple and single woman, should each have a copy of the signed release form.
216. * The relationship you share as a parenting teamwork can be one of friendship as you parent the child together; it need not be a romantic or sexual relationship. If you are both in agreement with continuing a sexual relationship, that is fine, but it is a free choice that you make together.
217. * Forming a parenting teamwork is not the ideal solution. Marriage is the ideal solution. But if you don't have the faith to follow the Lord's counsel that in most cases it's His will to marry if you create a child together, or you definitely feel it is not the Lord's will that you marry, then the next option is to form the parenting teamwork. Of course, if you're not sure of the Lord's will regarding marriage at the time that you form your parenting teamwork, you do not have to make a firm decision to not marry. As you work together and care for the child together, you might grow in your conviction that the Lord wants you to marry, and with time you might feel more comfortable with the idea of marriage‚ in which case you are free to marry at any time.
218. * You are to live in the same Home during the 20 months. If that necessitates one of you moving, you must be voted into the Home according to the Charter guidelines with a two–thirds majority vote. If neither Home votes to receive you‚ then the single woman and the man are responsible to find another Home that will, or to open a new Home, unless the single woman chooses to release the man from his responsibility. In the event that the man and woman are under 18, if neither of their Homes votes to receive them and they cannot find another Home to take them in, then the man is automatically released from his minimum responsibility‚ because under the Charter two people of that age cannot open their own Home. If a Home refuses to receive someone who seeks to form a parenting teamwork with one of the Home members, it is highly recommended that the Home seek the Lord in prophecy for a confirmation of their decision, because the Lord may want your Home to receive these new people even if it goes contrary to your initial reaction or desires.
219. * If a Home votes out a man who is fulfilling his 20-month minimum responsibility to a woman in the Home, the woman can choose to leave with the man, or the woman can release the man from this responsibility and stay in her Home.
220. * If a woman who forms part of a parenting teamwork is voted out of the Home‚ the man is not required to go with her. He can if he chooses to. If he chooses to stay in his Home, he is automatically released from his 20-month minimum responsibility.
221. * If a man who is involved in a parenting teamwork has legal or visa problems and must leave the country in which he lives, there are several options: If he can leave to take care of his business and then return to fulfill the rest of his 20-month minimum responsibility, he must do this. Or the woman he teamworks with can leave the country with him, with neither of them returning. Or if the man is not able to return to his present Home‚ the woman can join him later. Or she can release him from what remains of his minimum responsibility.
222. * If the woman must leave her field due to visa or legal problems, there are several options: The ideal situation is for the woman to return after taking care of her visa or legal business to complete the 20-month period of parenting teamworking. But if she chooses not to return to her former field, the man can travel with her or join her on her new field, if they both would like to do that. However, the man is not obligated to do so. In such a case the woman must release the man, but she should take special care to be sure of the Lord's will for her to move to another field. If the woman leaves the country and cannot return, then the man is also released from his responsibility unless he chooses to join the woman on her new field.
223. * After a man and woman are an established parenting teamwork in a Home, if the woman wants to move to another Home and the man doesn't, he is not obligated to move. She can either release the man from his minimum responsibility and move, or she can choose to stay in the same Home and thus benefit from his help.
224. * If a man refuses to take responsibility when he has fathered a child‚ he will be excommunicated, either fully or partially, according to the judgment of the CROs.
225. * If you are already on a non–westernized field and a man who is part of a parenting teamwork wishes to move on to another Home on the same field or to another non-westernized field, he must first fulfill his 20-month minimum responsibility, unless the woman chooses to go with him or to release him from that responsibility for one of the other reasons listed in paragraph 13 of this GN. The man's desire to move on does not in itself constitute a legitimate reason to release him. (Westernized fields are the United States, Canada, Western Europe, Australia and New Zealand. The non-westernized fields include all countries or fields except the five just mentioned.)
226. * If a woman has released the man from his responsibility so he can go from a westernized field to a non-westernized field, that release is unconditional. If he does not remain on that field during the full time of what would be his 20–month minimum responsibility, but instead returns to the same field as before, he is not obligated to fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility. The loving and responsible thing for the man to do would be to fulfill what remains of his minimum responsibility to the woman and child, if that is what the woman desires, but that is not required.
227. * If a woman releases the man from his responsibility so that she can travel from a westernized field to a non-westernized field and then later she returns, he is not obligated to rejoin her to fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility. Again‚ the couple can contact each other and pray about what they want to do now that they're both on the same field again‚ but the woman cannot hold the man responsible. It must be by his choice.
228. * If a man knows he will be traveling soon, if he's written for clearance, then he should inform the woman he is sharing with of these plans. If they decide to fuck or participate in any kind of sexual activity that could result in pregnancy and she turns up pregnant, then he's responsible to first pray about marriage, as in all situations. And if they do not want to get married or they're not sure‚ then he can still leave as he had planned, as long as he had done two things: 1) written for clearance to the mission field before having sex with the woman, and 2) informed the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance at the time that they made the decision to fuck. But if she wants to, the woman has the right to join him on his new field to form a parenting teamwork, provided she gets clearance to his new Home, or they find another Home to take them in, or they open their own Home.
229. * If a man plans to travel but he did not tell the woman about his travel plans and that he had written for clearance to another country at the time when they were deciding whether to fuck or risk pregnancy‚ then he's obligated to the minimum responsibility regardless of his travel plans or the fact that he has written for clearance. If he has not left yet when the woman finds out she's pregnant, then there are two options: If he's on a westernized field and is going to a non-westernized field, the woman can release him from his minimum responsibility if she feels led. If he's on a non-westernized field already, then he is required to stay with the woman for the 20–month minimum responsibility, unless she chooses to go with him or release him from his responsibility for one of the other reasons listed in paragraph 13.
230. * If a man travels to another country and then finds out a woman in his previous field is pregnant with his baby, he can return to care for her and the child if he chooses to‚ but he is not obligated to if he had written for clearance to the mission field before having the sex with the woman that resulted in her pregnancy, and informed the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance at the time they made the decision to fuck. He would need to have informed her of the two points listed above at the time they were deciding whether or not to fuck or engage in any sexual activity that could result in pregnancy. In this case‚ however, the woman has the right to join him in his new location if she wants him to meet the 20-month minimum requirement.
231. * If a man failed to tell the woman of his plans to travel and that he had written for clearance when they were deciding what to do on their date, if he's already on his new field and learns that the woman is pregnant, he would need to return to his former field to fulfill the minimum responsibility—unless the woman joins him on his new field or releases him from the responsibility.
232. * When a man has not made plans to travel to another country, nor written for clearance prior to the time that he and the woman make the decision to fuck, then he must fulfill his minimum responsibility first before proceeding to a new field, unless the woman wants to accompany him to his new field. (If the man wants to travel from a westernized field to a non-westernized field, that is a legitimate reason for the woman to release him from his minimum responsibility if she chooses to; but of course, she's not obligated to do so.)
233. * If at the time that the man and woman are making the decision about what to do on their date, the woman informs that man that she has written for clearance and plans to travel to another country, if she later becomes pregnant, the man must do all he can to accompany her to the field or join her there to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility.
234. * If the woman fails to tell the man of her travel plans and that she's written for clearance when they are deciding what to do on their date, and she becomes pregnant, the man is not obligated to travel with her. But if she decides not to travel but to stay on the same field instead, the man is obligated to fulfill the minimum responsibility.
235. * If the woman does not inform the man about her travel plans and that she has written for clearance at the time they decide what to do on their date, if she is on the field when she finds out she's pregnant, the man is not required to join her. But if she returns to her former field, he is required to fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility.
236. * If you plan to travel to a field to marry someone or form a parenting teamwork with someone on that field, you need to go through the standard procedure to have a Home on that field accept you‚ as well as request clearance from the CRO. If you do not receive clearance, then you and your partner may apply for clearance to a different country, if you so desire, or your partner has the option of returning to the field where you are. But if you are denied clearance and your partner on the mission field is not led to return to the field where you are, the man is automatically released from his responsibility.
237. * The Home cannot prevent a woman from releasing the father of her child from his 20-month minimum responsibility. It is strongly recommended‚ however, that the woman counsel and pray together with her shepherds to make sure she is able to care for her baby and her other Home responsibilities, or that she has sufficient help‚ support and the blessing of her Home before she decides to release the father of her child from his parenting teamwork responsibilities.
238. * The woman is not obligated to receive the man's help. She has the last say as to whether they will form a parenting teamwork or whether she will release the man from his 20-month minimum responsibility. She will be held accountable before the Lord for her decision, so she should not base her decision only on feelings. (She should have prophecies to back up her decision, and it's recommended that she also seek confirming prophecies.)
239. * When a man forms a parenting teamwork with a woman who has other children, he is to be a father figure to all the children, not just to his one flesh child.
240. * When the woman does not know who the father of her child is‚ she cannot hold any of the potential candidates fully to the 20-month minimum responsibility. All those who might be the father can share in the care of the woman during her pregnancy as much as they can, and should it become known during the first year after the birth of the child who the father is, and both the man and the woman are agreed on the matter, then the best solution is that they marry. But at least that man must fulfill what remains of the 20-month minimum responsibility, unless the woman releases him.
241. * If a man is not sure if he's the father of a child‚ and he gets involved with another woman in the meantime as a steady girlfriend or lover, or even if he has since gotten married, if he and the woman he created a child with come to an agreement later that he is the father of the child, he will be held responsible for fulfilling the minimum responsibility, if the woman who bore his child so desires. So it's highly recommended that if a man knows there's a possibility that he might have fathered a child with someone else, he should make this known to any woman he becomes seriously involved with in the future‚ until such time as he knows that he is not the father of the child, or until he has fulfilled the minimum responsibility, or until the mother of the child has released him from his responsibility.
242. * If a man impregnates more than one woman, he should of course first pray about the option of marriage to one (or a threesome), but he is responsible to at least fulfill the 20-month minimum responsibility with each of them‚ unless one or more feels led to release him from the responsibility.
243. * It is not required to have only one partner each month with whom you have intercourse or sex that could result in pregnancy.
244. * In cases where you feel led to engage in any form of sex where there is a possibility of pregnancy resulting, it is wise to ask your partner what arrangements he or she has with others. You should also offer the information as to whether you are having sex with anyone else that could result in pregnancy, such as putting the penis in and pulling out before ejaculation, fucking with a condom, masturbating the woman's vaginal area with the penis, etc. The time to communicate on these matters is when you're deciding what you'll do on your date.
245. * A man who either has been released from forming a parenting teamwork with the mother of his child or who completes the designated 20-month minimum responsibility can support the woman financially or with goods, if he chooses‚ but it's not required. He should at least support spiritually, with love, encouragement‚ support and prayer.
246. * When you complete the 20-month minimum responsibility, if you have not yet received a clear answer from the Lord regarding marriage, it's recommended that you hear from the Lord again‚ to see how He is leading—whether to part‚ having completed your requirement, or whether to marry, having grown in love and faith.
247. * The counsel in this GN will not be applied to relationships that conceived children before the reading of this counsel. This counsel will go into effect on November 1, 1998.
248. I know this idea of a minimum responsibility will be difficult for some of you to receive, even if you see the wisdom in the Lord's counsel, because it requires sacrifice and can affect your life significantly. It's a big deal, but it's needed! On this, the Lord said:
249. (Jesus speaking: ) This minimum responsibility will be a shock and will cause a mighty widening of the eyes. But if nothing else, it will serve as a great deterrent for those who take the responsibility of childbearing lightly, and for those who are fucking, footloose and fancy-free, even taking pride in the fact that they have created children and have left the mothers single, unattended and alone. (End of message from Jesus)
250. (Mama:) I commented earlier in this series on the attitude that some of you apparently have of creating children that you're not willing to care for because you value your freedom, independence and being a bachelor too much. As you can see, the Lord is not pleased with that type of attitude, which is part of the reason why He has had to put this new minimum responsibility in place.
251. I want to remind you once again that you will not have to worry about all the details of this complex policy if you simply don't fuck or have sex that can result in pregnancy. The Lord is not expecting you to fuck or encouraging you to do so! Neither are Peter and I. You are under no obligation whatsoever to fuck, whether you are a single or a married person sharing with someone other than your mate! You can be going for the gold and pleasing the Lord just as much if you choose to do other things in your lovemaking that will not result in pregnancy.
252. So if you feel overwhelmed by this counsel and find it hard to understand, you can avoid having to worry about parenting teamworks and all that they involve if you just don't participate in sexual activities that can result in pregnancy.
Checklist
253. If you do, however, decide together with someone before you start your sexual activity that you will fuck, either with or without a condom, or that you'll put the penis in but pull out before ejaculation, or if you plan to use the penis near the vagina for masturbation, please consider the following:
• Have you or your partner had sex with anyone else this month that could result in pregnancy? If so, tell your partner.
• Is there a chance that the woman might already be pregnant at the time you are having your date? If so, she should tell the man.
• Are you or your sharing partner planning to travel and have you written for clearance? If so, tell your partner.
• If the woman gets pregnant, would either of your Homes have room to receive the other?
• If you are a married man, does your wife consent to your fucking the single woman, either with or without a condom? Does your wife consent to your putting your penis in the single woman if you plan to pull out before ejaculation? Does your wife consent to your rubbing the single woman's genitals with your penis? If not, don't do it!
This New Counsel
Is Not Retroactive
254. As I mentioned earlier, this new counsel will not be applied to children that were conceived before the publishing of this series. When I had one of the channels in our Home pray about this, the Lord's answer was very clear:
255. (Jesus speaking:) Many of those who have created a child before reading the Law of Love series will be convicted when they read of this minimum responsibility. They will choose of their own accord to take this responsibility upon themselves, for they will know that it is the right thing to do. But I will not require it.
256. I will not hold My children responsible for this minimum responsibility for previous relationships. Though they should know this through the spirit of "Go for the Gold" and the Law of Love and the Charter‚ because they did not have or spend the time needed to diligently study My Word on this subject, I will have mercy and I will not put this specific responsibility on the shoulders of those who have borne children before the publishing of this Law of Love series. But take heed, My Family, that you put your mind to studying this blueprint for living the Law of Love, for I will hold you accountable for the truth that is at your fingertips through this new series.
257. I will not hold My children to this minimum responsibility in situations and relationships that came up before the publishing of the Law of Love series. But I will hold those responsible who create a child after being fully informed‚ for they are accountable for the truth published in this series, for then they will be fully informed and will be without excuse, and they will be able to more wisely count the cost when they go into their sexual sharing with each other. (End of message from Jesus)
258. (Mama:) Peter and I pray that some of you men who have fathered a child but are not presently caring for the child and the mother will feel convicted to take responsibility according to this new counsel. We pray you'll see the need for it and will do so of your own accord. And we pray you single women will be open to their help and availability. But this counsel will not be strictly applied to relationships where a child was conceived before the publishing of this series, since you were not fully informed at that time. The Lord states that you weren't accountable for this truth then, as you hadn't read it, but He will hold you accountable now after you've read this GN.
259. So please make sure you understand what you've just read. If it's hazy and you didn't really get it clearly, then read it again. In fact, it's important that you understand this whole series very well, so please be sure to take the time you need to study, reread and absorb these GNs!
260. While this counsel about the required 20-month minimum responsibility only applies to children who have been conceived after reading this series, beginning November 1, 1998, I want to remind you of the counsel in Part 4 of this series in which the Lord explains that if you have had a child with someone since the time of "Go for the Gold," you are still responsible to contact each other to discuss what kind of relationship you will have, the ideal solution being marriage. If you have already prayed about it and come to an agreement that you're both happy with, this contact is not necessary. If you wish to have an ongoing relationship with someone you created a child with after "Go for the Gold" but before this Law of Love series, that relationship need not be in the form of the 20-month parenting teamwork. There is flexibility in the relationship you establish, as you feel led, since the counsel in this series is not retroactive.
261. You've read many paragraphs about all the details regarding the new 20-month minimum responsibility in the case of pregnancy. To bring things into proper perspective once again, I want to remind you that the ideal solution is not this minimum responsibility but marriage. Like the Lord said, "the ideal, the best, the golden solution is that the father and mother of the child marry." (See paragraph 10.) Please don't make the mistake of putting too much attention or emphasis on the minimum responsibility when the better solution is marriage. The minimum responsibility is just that—the minimum. The lifelong, lasting, greatest solution is marriage!
262. I know this counsel and these new Charter amendments are going to have a big impact on some of you. This will undoubtedly change some of your priorities and ways of looking at things. I pray it does! I believe if you take the time to study this GN and really think and pray about it, you'll see that the counsel is fair, well–balanced‚ and that the Lord is loving in what He expects of all of us. I pray you have faith‚ trust and a believing spirit to receive His Word.
263. God bless and keep you. Our prayers are with you!
Lovingly in your service,
Mama