Maria #421CM/FM 31651/98

By Maria

To my dearest Family,

1. God bless you! I love you so very much! I hope you feel challenged and inspired after reading "Goals for 1998!" (ML #3160). That Letter is very exciting and sure gives us all something to strive for! At first it might seem overwhelming, but at least we all can begin with some little steps toward each of the goals, and gradually we'll grow stronger. I hope that having the goals spelled out so clearly will be a help in determining what steps you need to take personally and as a Home.

2. Now that the Lord has issued a real clear sound of the trumpet, you can more easily know if there's something that you need to work on. Now we, as a Family, have our united goals set down very clearly, and I think it will be very stabilizing for a lot of you. We all can become disoriented or confused without a clear vision and concrete goals, which help us have the faith, determination and purpose we need to take the initiative, move forward and become all we can be for the Lord.

3. As Peter and I worked on that Letter together, naturally it made me think and pray about my own goals and how I personally wanted to try to do better for the Lord. That's what this Letter is about. But before I get into that, I want to tell you how it came about that I'm sharing these goals with you. It has to do with a prayer request the Lord instructed me to put forth regarding my health.

4. As I shared in Grapevine #34, in answer to your prayers‚ the Lord stopped my bleeding after having had a period that lasted longer than a month, and He's been strengthening me day by day. Thank you so very much for your prayers! Many times I've seen how effectual are the fervent prayers of the children of David. Praise the Lord!

5. After my period had stopped for about a week, I then started bleeding again very slightly. This was rather unexpected, because we'd been praying that the Lord would give me a fairly long break before starting another period, so that I could regain the strength I'd lost. At the onset of this renewed bleeding, I had one of the channels in our Home ask the Lord about it. He gave a very interesting answer, which was not at all what I had expected. He said:

6. (Jesus speaking:) Ask for healing. Step out on the limb and saw it off! Ask for specific healing. Call on the Family's help in prayer, asking for complete healing of the cysts. Go a step further and ask for the impossible—not just a healing of the results, which is the prolonged bleeding, but a complete healing. Ask Me to take care of the root problem. Step out on the limb! Put Me on the spot! Test Me! Prove Me! Ask for the impossible! Ask for a miracle! (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

7. Many times the Lord has made it clear that my health and strength and the regulation of these long periods depend on your prayers, but this time He's clearly instructed me to ask for a complete healing—for a healing of the root of the problem, which is the cysts. (By the way, the bleeding stopped very quickly, so I figure the Lord allowed it just so I would receive this important message from Him.) I want to explain that several years ago I asked for prayer for the healing of vaginal and uterine cysts‚ and then I informed you in Prayer List 27‚ which was published in September of 1995, that I had been healed of the cysts. At that time, the symptoms and effects of the cysts were much less—almost nil, in fact—so I thought I had been healed. But I later discovered that while the cysts had not been bothersome at that time, there were‚ however‚ still there.

8. I'll come back to this subject later in this Letter, but for now I want to tell you that the Lord didn't stop there in His message to me. He went on to say the following:

9. (Jesus speaking:) This is a new year‚ with new beginnings! You can leave behind the problems of the past year to forge on to a new year‚ with new beginnings and fresh inspiration! Old things must pass away and new things take their place, so that new progress can be made.

10. Publish your prayer requests—the things that you would like for the coming year, your heart's desires, what you would like to see happen personally and for the Family. Ask the Family to pray for these things. Let your requests be made known, no matter what they are—your deepest, heartfelt desires, your resolutions for the coming year‚ the things that you would like to see Me do for you and for others. Print your petitions. And the more the people pray for them, the greater will be the returns in answered prayer. This is the right of the queen, that she may publish the petitions of her heart and post them before the people that all may see and that all may pray.

11. Do you have requests? Do you have burdens? Do you have cares? Are you in need of anything? Don't keep these to yourself, but bring them to your people‚ that your prayers may be multiplied thousands of times over!—So that instead of your requests being before Me as one little candle, they may become a bonfire, as the whole Family joins together in prayer before Me for your requests.

12. This is the power of united prayer: Though every person is just one little candle, all of their prayers united make a great fire before My throne! So come and tell Me your petitions for the coming year and share them with your Family, that they may help you bear the burden of the responsibility in prayer and in deed. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

13. (Mama:) I hardly feel worthy of being the subject of so much powerful, marvelous prayer. It's humbling for me to ask you to pray specifically for my goals‚ resolutions or heartfelt desires, because I know that you all have your own goals, resolutions and desires, which are also very, very important. I sometimes hesitate to ask for prayer from the entire Family because I know that there are so very many important things to pray for. I'm sometimes reluctant to have you take your time praying for me, because I don't want you to neglect all the other people and situations that are also in need of your desperate prayers. But when the Lord gives me a message like this‚ then I almost feel like I have no choice but to share my heart with you and to put forth my prayer requests in obedience to Him.

14. This is not to say that I don't very much appreciate the blessing of this opportunity to ask for prayer. In fact, I would certainly hate to miss all this tremendous prayer power which I know I need and greatly depend on. I just want to explain that sometimes I think the Lord knows that I wouldn't have the faith—or maybe I should more accurately say that I wouldn't want to take your time—by putting forth a fairly detailed list of my prayer requests for the year unless He gave me a little extra shove or encouragement, which He did in this case via this unexpected message.

15. And in case that extra shove or encouragement were not enough, He later gave another message urging me to do this, which I'll include for you here:

16. (Jesus speaking:) My darling queen, you've done well over the years in growing‚ accepting My challenges, and becoming the yielded, loving vessel of My choosing. You've been sensitive to My checks, whispers and desires. When I've requested that you change either your attitude, work habits, relationships, or even your very nature, you've been willing to try. You've had faith that whatever I requested of you, I would also help you to accomplish. Therefore you've grown in anointing, love, spiritual strength and in–tuneness. With each passing day, you become more of an example of My love and Spirit. You've walked closely with Me, and I'm well pleased.

17. Now I've petitioned you to come before your people to put forth your requests—both for the Family as a whole and for yourself personally. In your personal requests, don't hesitate to include the areas that you want continued progress in. It's not that you have any serious lacks; you're not disobedient, nor are you missing the mark in any way. But as you know, like everyone else‚ you can continue to progress. You can grow more as you keep your personal goals ever before you.

18. So though I'm pleased with your attitudes, your actions and your behavior‚ and though I'm overjoyed with your obedience and yieldedness, there's still always more that you can learn or do or seek‚ to become a greater and better example of Me. Therefore, in your personal requests fear not to put even the areas in which you've grown by leaps and bounds, because your victories will be reinforced by your loved ones' prayers, and your continued progress will be ensured. (End of message from Jesus.)

19. (Mama: ) I was very thankful for this message, because it was so encouraging to know that the Lord was pleased with the progress I'd made. I'm sure that if you ask the Lord, He'll encourage you, too, about the ways you've grown. But even in the areas where we're learning to do better, we can continue to progress, which is the main point He was making in the above message.

20. As I thought and prayed about what my goals should be and looked over my lists of brief personal prayer requests that I've kept on hand over the months, I noted that my requests fall into three different categories: (1) my desires and prayer requests regarding the Family overall‚ (2) my personal prayer requests and goals, and (3) my health prayer requests.

Comments on "Goals for 1998!"

21. Before I get into the details of these various categories‚ I first want to make it clear that the goals that you read about in "Goals for 1998" (ML #3160) are my goals as well. It's not as if Peter and I put forth 18 very challenging, important goals for the upcoming year for you, our dear Family‚ without taking them to heart for ourselves as well. I feel personally challenged and convicted regarding the goals that the Lord has led us to propose for our whole Family. It certainly is not that I've attained in all these areas. I know that I too have much to learn and can definitely grow, progress and be strengthened in many of these areas as well.

22. For example‚ regarding goal number 1, it's my heartfelt desire to continue to use my gift of prophecy, to exercise my faith and to progress in receiving more detailed, complete, specific messages. I need to continue to stir up my gift.

23. I pray for the Lord's help and determination to keep regularly practicing my gift of prophecy. I often pass most of the questions that I have for the Lord on to the other channels in my Home—not only because it's easier and time-saving for me, but also because I know that at this point in time they'll receive a more detailed, fuller message from the Lord. I want to hear as much as possible from the Lord regarding each question. I like all the details‚ and I feel that my gift is not sufficiently exercised at present to receive as many details; whereas there are others in my Home that I feel can receive the answers from the Lord more easily‚ quickly and fully, simply because their gifts are more exercised.

24. But I do sincerely want to progress in using my gift. I want to grow stronger in this area. I want to have more faith to be able to not only hear the Lord's direction as He speaks to me with His still, small voice in my heart, but I also want to hear and speak His Words in prophecy. I need to practice so I can be prepared for what the Lord has for me in the future. These are days of preparation! We're preparing for war‚ and I want to be a strong soldier with all my weapons clean and polished and in good working condition. So I can certainly put my name beside goal number 1 and say "amen" to that!

25. In goal number 2, the Lord has encouraged us all to spend more time reading and absorbing the Word, the New Wine in particular, so we can understand it better and thereby implement it more fully and accurately. I too feel a greater need for the Word in my life; specifically that I will be able to better retain the Word.

26. Because of my position, my ministry with the Word and my responsibility as the Winetaster, I have the precious opportunity to hear many, many prophecies. Listening to the Lord's living Word is one of my greatest joys. It's thrilling, exciting, exhilarating! I pray that I'll be able to more completely grasp and retain the spiritual principles in the many prophecies that I listen to, that all these Words from the Lord will be added supernaturally to the storehouse of Word that I hold deep in my heart, and that when I need them, the Lord will bring all these things to my remembrance.

27. In goals 3 and 4, the Lord spoke about how much happier and more fruitful we'd be if we'd learn to turn our thoughts into prayers and to praise without ceasing. There sure is room for improvement in these two areas in my life. Sometimes my mind wanders, and I know I could make much better use of my thoughts if I would bring them into captivity through turning them into prayers. I want to make a conscious effort to strengthen this habit.

28. I really don't like it when, upon occasion, I find myself reacting negatively or complaining, when I have so much to be thankful for. I feel terrible if I ever entertain little critical thoughts or am a little discontent about this or that. I know it displeases the Lord, and when I occasionally get in that mood‚ of course He can't pour out His Spirit or blessings or happiness upon me as much as He would like to.

29. The Lord has been such a precious Husband, Lover, Companion, Shepherd, Friend, Guide, Comforter and King to me, that I could spend from now until the day of His return praising Him and testifying of the many blessings and tremendous happiness that He has brought me. So it's unfitting, to say the least, and a sin, to say the most, to ever complain or murmur when I have so much to be thankful for!

30. Turning my thoughts into prayers and praising the Lord even when I don't feel like it are two important keys to overcoming any battles‚ temptations or struggles that I might meet in the year to come. I look upon these two goals as important weapons, and I'm determined to cultivate them in my life, by God's grace.

31. I want to be faithful to spend more personal time loving the Lord, as was put forth in goal number 5. He has answered my prayer and given me the time each day to love Him intimately‚ and I want to make good use of that time. I don't want to let it slip through my fingers, but I want to invest it wisely and be a good steward of the precious minutes that the Lord gives me throughout each day to rest in His arms, hear His sweet Words, make love to Him‚ receive His seeds, and tell Him of my love and dependence on Him.

32. I could go down the list of goals for 1998 point by point and comment on how I relate to each one personally and specifically. But in order to keep this Letter fairly short, I'll refrain from doing so because I feel the Lord and Peter described the challenges fully and accurately. Suffice it to say that the Family goals for 1998 are many of my own goals as well. Like you, my dear Family‚ I'm also fighting to improve in many of these areas. I have not attained, and there's much I need to learn.

33. Of course, some of the goals will apply to some people more than others. There are some goals, especially regarding some of the roadblocks to unity, that I feel relate less directly to me. For example, we in our Home do live Acts 2:44 and 45. We common-pot all our finances—not only our WS budget, but also the nondesignated funds we receive from relatives, friends, Family members, etc. The vehicles and equipment that we have belong to the Home, not to individuals. There's a lot of sharing of personal possessions, so that everyone has what they need.

34. We also have made progress in learning to live the "One Wife" vision more fully, without there being a distinction between the two generations. We're more aware of our greater marriage to the Lord, the Family‚ and each other, and we're enjoying more love, unity and interaction with all our "mates." Also, while Techi is here visiting with Trevor, we all share in some way or other in his care, as I would hope you all do with the children in your Home. Though Techi is technically a single mother‚ Trevor has many "daddies"—our many dear men from both generations who help to care for him and be a father to him, and who have grown very attached to him over these last months.

35. Another goal that I feel is not particularly relatable to me personally is the point in which the Lord warns the Family about the dangers of having become too deeply entrenched in the cares and ungodly influences of this world. Of course, I need to stay dropped out and it's extremely important that I do, in order to wisely lead the Family as the Lord wants me to. I certainly can't afford to have divided loyalties or to compromise with the System regarding our beliefs and the Word the Lord gives. I'm not disputing that one bit, and as far as that goes, then of course I do pray for that. But as far as being attracted to the System, I'm not; nor do I have or desire the opportunity to receive much negative ungodly input from the System.

36. Goal number 14 is to get rid of bitterness. That would apply to me if I had any bitterness, but when I prayed about it, the Lord said:

37. (Jesus speaking: ) My precious queen has been kept free from bitterness because of her trust in Me. She's faithfully sought My voice through the years in the face of all opposition, difficulties, afflictions, disappointments, setbacks and heartbreaks, and My Word has given her peace.

38. Believing, accepting and yielding to My truth is what protects you from bitterness. You must let the truth of My Word answer your questions, and then you must receive those answers and let them replace any negative emotions that might give rise to resentment, and eventually bitterness. This My queen has done.

39. It's not that she's above the possibility of being tormented with bitterness. She too could fall under the condemnation of this weight, if she did not protect her heart and thoughts with all diligence, because the Enemy would seek to weaken her through bitterness. But she's been wise. She's been militant. She's communicated freely and fully with Me and those around her. She's believed. She's had great faith. In her desperation and honesty and great yieldedness, she's cut off the Enemy's would-be attacks through which he would try to bring about bitterness in her life. (End of message from Jesus.)

40. (Mama: ) I'm thankful the Lord has helped me resist anything that could have, with time, developed into bitterness. Let this be a warning to us all, that the Enemy seeks to do us harm through his evil attacks. So let's raise a standard against them and do as the Lord instructs us in this message: Believe, accept, and yield to the truth; let the Word answer our questions; then receive those answers and let them replace any negative emotions that might give rise to resentment and‚ eventually‚ bitterness.

41. I won't continue commenting on the "Goals for 1998" in detail, but let me close this point by saying that to me, the idea of having a list of goals both for the Family and for myself personally is tremendously challenging! I greatly appreciate that the Lord has seen fit to give us this plan and this program, a definite step–by-step‚ point-by-point challenge that we can keep ever before us, to help us to stay focused, to redeem the time, and to keep ourselves stirred up in prayer and desperation.

42. Apart from our united goals for 1998‚ the following are my other personal prayer requests‚ resolutions and heart's desires.

Prayer Requests for the Family

43. I pray that each one of us personally, and the Family overall, will stay in the center of God's perfect will. When I say God's perfect will, I'm not just talking about a place, although that's also important. Each one of us needs to be in the Home, country and mission field that the Lord wants us to be in. But I also pray that we'll be in God's perfect will regarding our attitudes‚ our hunger for the Word, our relationships, our ministries, etc.

44. We know that the place of greatest happiness for each of us is God's perfect will. We couldn't hope for anything better than that. That's where His promises can be fulfilled in us to the full, and where we can bear the most fruit for Him, the Family, and the lost. We can never lose by seeking to stay in God's perfect will, for with such is promised His blessings of happiness, success, protection and supply.

45. So my prayer is that we'll each keep our heart with all diligence; that we will stay desperately stirred up; that we will be on the attack and fighting in the spirit, and not becoming lethargic or lazy; and that we will seek the Lord with each move, each decision, even each thought‚ so we can stay in God's perfect will.

46. If we're faithful to do this as much as possible, then I know the Lord will be able to bless us with another wonderful year and we'll rejoice together at the marvelous things that He's done through His tiny, humble, dropped-out, revolutionary, Endtime army—the Family!

47. I pray that the Lord will help Peter and me to continue to receive His Words, and to feed you, our precious children, as He leads. I pray that Peter and I will stay true to the message, uncompromising, unfearing, and strong in faith; that we'll hear the Lord's voice clearly, and that we'll pour forth all the Lord's Words we can to feed you and the world.

48. I pray that we'll also be wise and led of the Lord as to when to publish the various important messages that the Lord has entrusted into our care. He's poured forth so abundantly, so many messages, all of which are very needed. But I pray that we'll be Spirit–led in the timing of what we publish, so that it will bring forth the desired results.

49. I pray that the Lord will bless all our channels with great faith, yieldedness and desperation, so that He'll have at His disposal the vessels through which He can pour forth His Word. We don't want to miss any instruction, revelation, direction‚ correction, spirit trips‚ Heavenly messages‚ answers, explanation, encouragement, or any of the wonders of the spirit world and the Heavenly realm. The Lord has His Heavenly vaults chock full of precious treasures, and we know He's more willing to give than we are to receive. So I pray that we'll all be open vessels and channels so that He can put His Words in our mouths, and that we'll speak them with all diligence, prayerfulness and faith.

50. In order to facilitate our getting out the abundance of Word that the Lord has not only already poured out but that I know He will continue to pour out in the future, I pray that Peter and I will be wise, diligent, conscientious, and completely led of the Lord in our direction, shepherding and oversight of the WS units and other structure Homes. (See ML #3136:160–173‚ GN 746.)

51. I pray that our operations will run as smoothly and efficiently as possible, and that we'll make the very best possible use of our time, personnel‚ and finances. I pray that all our WS units, CRO offices, NPCs, LIMs, PPCs, and all our very important Homes that provide the infrastructure for the Family will be well-balanced, well–staffed, well-supported, and that no one will be overloaded, so that our work of receiving‚ publishing, printing, translating‚ and distributing the Word can be done happily, securely, decently, and in order.

52. I pray that the Lord will keep Peter and me strong in love, in prayer, in good communication, and in obedience to Him; that we will continue to be a strong team for the Lord and to show His love to others; that we will not lean to our own understanding, but will go to the Lord in prayer and hear from Him in prophecy whenever needed, and thereby make wise decisions; that the Lord will continue to help us to keep our faces turned toward Him, and to not be distracted by the cares of this life; that we'll continue to put the Lord first, never each other or our relationship or our own desires; that we'll continue to make the sacrifices required to do God's highest will‚ regardless of the personal cost.

53. I pray that we'll be a good balance to each other; that our counseling together will be wise; that we'll see things as the Lord sees them; that we'll have a good understanding of the conditions in the Homes on the field, and that we'll have the Lord's perspective regarding the problems and challenges that the Family faces.

54. I pray that we'll be faithful to be Jesus for each other and others, and lift up and glorify Him in our interaction with others‚ our conversations, our written communications, our lovemaking, and every other opportunity that we have; that we'll strengthen each other in our weak areas, and be faithful to uphold the standard of the Word; that we'll open our lives and our marriage to others as much as possible.

55. I pray that Peter and I will never take any credit to ourselves for anything, but that we'll give all the glory to Jesus. Dad warned us all repeatedly of the dangers of taking credit. This is especially clear in "The Temple Prophecy" (ML #9). Accepting the praise of man and not giving God all the glory has been the downfall of many past prophets and men and women of God.

56. I know that without the Lord, I can do nothing. Without Him I'm lost. It would be ridiculous for me to think even for a moment that I could lead the Family without the Lord's constant direction. How foolish that would be! How downright crazy! The Lord is the One Who is leading this Family‚ and all the glory goes to Him! I know that‚ Peter knows that, Dad knows that, and I hope you, my dear ones, know that too.

57. I am what I am—your queen and shepherdess and Endtime prophetess—only because of the Lord's anointing. I pray that I will in no way stray from my utter dependence on the Lord or be so foolish as to think that I have done anything or accomplished anything. I pray that every day, every moment, I will continually give all the glory to Jesus‚ for it is truly His. He is the One Who's done it all, and He deserves every bit of praise, thanksgiving and honor. I'm nothing without Jesus—all glory to Him!

58. I assure you that Peter feels the same. He often asks me to please check him if I see him getting lifted up or proud in any way, or if he seems to be taking the credit for anything. He knows that he's completely dependent on the Lord, and that anything good that is accomplished by him or through him is only Jesus. He's keenly aware of the danger of the praise of man.

59. In some ways it's more difficult for Peter, because he spends more time with you, our dear Family, in his visitation. When he travels, the Lord greatly anoints him to instruct‚ comfort, shepherd and encourage those he meets. Of course you who meet him personally feel the Lord's Spirit and love very strongly through him; many times it's a life-changing experience, and you like to give him your thanks. There's nothing wrong with your expressing your thanks. I understand that you want to show your appreciation, which is fine; but Peter needs to make a constant effort to give that thanks and praise to the Lord, which he does. As you might recall, Peter talked about this in his personal interview, which was published in the Zine. (See Zine 13.)

60. Both Peter and I were blessed to see Dad's example of giving the Lord the glory, as he would very often point upward and say, "It's only the Lord!" whenever anyone commended him for something good that he'd said or done. We want to follow Dad's good example and always faithfully point upward, giving the Lord the glory.

61. I pray that all our faithful staff in my Home and our WS units and our other structure Homes will be strengthened, inspired‚ encouraged, and have the faith‚ vision and determination to stick to their ministries and jobs behind the scenes as long as the Lord leads; that they will not get weary in well doing, nor will the stress or confines of living behind the scenes become too much for them, but that they'll keep the Heavenly vision and constantly remind themselves that they too will partake of the reward of each soul won and each person witnessed to.

62. I pray that the Lord will protect the security of our Home and the other WS units so that we can continue to get out His Word without interruption. You all are familiar, I'm sure‚ with how much time, effort, and expense is involved in a move. With having on hand so much of the Lord's Word‚ so many important messages that are very timely and urgently needed, it would be a tremendous blessing if we in our Home could avoid another move for as long as the Lord sees fit, so that Peter and I and all our helpers could keep our full concentration on preparing and publishing the Word to feed you, our dear Family, and the world.

63. I pray that the Lord will keep His honor guard of angels strongly in place around our Home and around anyone who goes out, and that He will protect us against any mistakes, security breaches, or anything that would in any way hinder our being able to concentrate fully on our most important work at hand—getting out the Word!

64. I pray that the Lord will continue to give me the ideas that He wants me to receive regarding any new direction, new projects, new publications, and any ways that we might be able to get out His Word more quickly, efficiently and effectively. You might remember Dad saying, "Mama has more ideas than a dog has fleas!"—But I'm the first to admit that those ideas come from the Lord! He's the One that gives them, and I pray that I'll be prayerful and spend sufficient time in quiet meditation with Him; that I'll be able to hear His voice and receive His ideas, and not miss anything that He would want to tell me, check me about, or bring to my attention.

65. I pray that the Lord will continue to provide abundantly the finances that we need—not only in WS to be able to produce the Word‚ but also for each individual Home and Family member. I pray for not only miraculous, large windfalls, unexpected donations and gifts, but also that each Home will progress in having solid, regular supply from monthly pledges from contacts, friends‚ outside witnessers, live-outs, etc.

66. I understand very well that having sufficient finances is a fairly major challenge or even struggle for many Homes—especially Homes on poorer or difficult mission fields—but the Lord has promised to supply. In spite of the difficulties, you've seen His faithful supply, and I pray that in the year to come He will not only supply your needs, but over and above your needs‚ so that you can do your work for Him more easily and efficiently.

67. I pray that each one of you adults and young people, from the eldest to the youngest, will be happy in your service for the Lord; that you'll be challenged, strong in faith, full of vision, and eager to do your best for Jesus. I pray that you'll draw closer to Him day by day, and that His love will fill all your empties. I pray you'll have the time, strength and vision to teach, train and care for all our dear children, filling all their spiritual, emotional, physical and educational needs to the best of your ability.

68. I pray for those who are fighting afflictions, that you'll find strength in the Lord's tender arms and His unfailing Word; that He'll heal you in His perfect time, and that as a result of your suffering, you'll be a better vessel of His love. I pray that the Lord will keep you all safe in His care, free from persecution, accidents, or wrong decisions that could cause you any harm.

Personal Prayer Requests

69. Now I'd like to share with you some personal prayer requests. These are more related to my personal life‚ walk with the Lord, and work habits. Some of these are smaller requests, but the Lord did say if I had any requests or burdens or cares, or if I was in need of anything, that I could bring these before you, my precious ones, and my prayers in these areas would be multiplied a thousand times over. Thank you so very much!

70. I pray that I'll be finely tuned enough to the Heavenly realm that I can hear the whispers and the leadings of my spirit helpers, and not only get their messages, but know that they are the ones that are giving them to me, and it's not just my own thoughts. I want to be very aware of the engineering of things in the spirit world and the great cloud of helpers that we have. We have at our fingertips so much help, the opportunity for supernatural guidance, visions and direction. Our spirit helpers are clamoring to help us, to speak to us, to make our jobs and lives easier.

71. Sometimes I can hear the voice of my spirit helpers so clearly, and I'm much more aware of the movement and action in the spirit world. But other times I feel that my senses are slightly dulled‚ probably due to the spiritual warfare, and I'm concerned that I might be missing something. Of course‚ I trust the Lord and I know that He's in control, and He's not going to allow me to miss anything important; He'll get through to me one way or the other. But I also know that it's my responsibility to be honing my spiritual gifts, my spiritual in-tuneness, to where I can hear the whispers more clearly and easily.

72. This is something that all of us need to be doing if we hope to take good advantage of these days of peace, plenty and prosperity. Because in the days of war that are to come, the action in the spirit world will be more tumultuous. There will be more static of the Enemy. He'll be fighting more aggressively‚ playing dirtier, and our senses in the spirit and our ability to hear the voices of our Heavenly helpers will need to be more finely tuned.

73. The Lord is bringing us along step by step. He's teaching us and enhancing our gifts and our ability to hear from Him and the spirit world in direct proportion to our desperation, our hunger to learn, and the time and attention we put toward being spiritually in tune.

74. The Lord has been speaking to me in my thoughts for many years. And when I personally receive a prophecy, or when one of the channels in my Home receives a prophecy in answer to my questions, it often echoes the thoughts that I had already been thinking‚ which confirms that those thoughts were obviously sent from the Lord! It's one thing for the Lord to establish my thoughts according to His will and His leading, based on the great foundation of truth that He and Dad have given me over the years; but it's slightly different when He or Dad or my spirit helpers speak to me directly and I give the words verbally in prophecy. I don't want to miss the whispers of the Lord, Dad or my Heavenly helpers. I want to hear and recognize them more easily, and have faith that they are the ones giving me the answers; that it is their voice and direction, and not my own thoughts.

75. I want to be humble and do the humble thing. I have lots of pride in some ways, and sometimes I can feel that pride trying to hold me back from obeying in the little ways or doing little things that I know the Lord wants me to do. I usually don't have too much trouble with the big things, because, thank the Lord, I have enough fear of Him that my desire to please Him and to stay in His will helps me resist and overcome my pride. But it's those little things, those little obediences, that are sometimes more difficult. Sometimes we may be tempted to think that the little things are not so important, and that if we miss it on some of those little things, the negative repercussions will not be so bad or cause such a problem.

76. But the Lord doesn't look at it like that. He doesn't look at big things and little things, with the former being much more important than the latter. He looks at it as we either obey or we disobey; we either do the humble thing or we don't. When praying more about this principle, the Lord gave the following explanation:

77. (Jesus speaking: ) Faithfulness is obedience to a myriad of little things. Whether My request is one that costs greatly, or is something simpler, still, it is brought to pass through a series of little obediences. The road to obedience in what looks like a big sacrifice or big accomplishment is paved with many little obediences. It's an ongoing process. You take the first step of obedience, then you follow it with another, and another, and another.

78. Some roads are very long‚ and it seems to you like a very great obedience. But in reality, those long roads are made up of many little obediences. I reward you for every little obedience. When you walk a very long road of sacrifice, when you come to the end, I know that your reaching your destination is a tribute to your many obediences in the many choices and decisions that you faced. I reward you for each individual right choice, each time you do the humble thing, each time you hear My voice and obey. (End of message from Jesus.)

79. That sheds a new light on the importance of obedience in little things. If we're well practiced at obeying in the daily little decisions and little sacrifices, then it won't be so hard for us to travel the longer roads of bigger sacrifices, which are paved with many little obediences and right choices.

80. The Lord doesn't compare us with each other. He rewards us according to our faithfulness and obedience within the realm of responsibility that He's given to each of us individually. Therefore I want to try with all my heart to be willing to always do the humble thing—not only in the big things, but also the little things. I don't want to be too proud to do anything the Lord asks me to do.

81. I want to be humble enough to go where He wants me to go, do what He wants me to do‚ and say what He wants me to say. I want to be more and more a robot that is in His complete control. I don't want to try to do things my own way, or reach up and grab the controls out of His hand. I just want to be a soft little lump of clay that He can do with as He wishes, so He can make me into a ball and bounce me over there, if that's what He wants; or He can make me into a string that He can use to reach out to someone and pull them closer to Him; or He can make me into an empty vessel to receive His Words; or He can make me into a tender hand to deliver His affection and love; or He can make me into a soft handkerchief to dry someone's tears; or He can make me into a toilet, like Dad's illustration in "I Am a Toilet—Are You?" (ML #264), so that I can receive people's problems, burdens and confessions.

82. Yes, He has made me a queen. He's made me His shepherdess of the End. But I also want to be His humble tool, so that He can use me in the humble, little ways.

83. We were created to be fighters, to sock it to the Enemy, to stand up for the truth! It's my desire to be more of a fighter. I'm very thankful that through recent experiences the Lord has been answering this prayer. He's been teaching me to be a better fighter, and I've seen more and more the value of fighting, of immediately resisting the Enemy's lies and going on the attack in desperate prayer and praise and singing, and getting busy for the Lord and others.

84. I want to take more initiative when fighting. I want my first reaction to be a fighting reaction. I don't want to be slow on the draw and lazy. When I first notice the Enemy trying to get my attention, or trying to come in through some thought of discontent or comparing or complaining, I want to immediately slam the door in his face‚ punch him in the nose, and kick him in the pants! I want to stand up and resist him, rebuke him, and get rid of him!

85. I want to be more of a fighter in all aspects of my life—in bringing my thoughts into captivity; in redeeming the time; in being humble and doing the humble thing; in improving my work habits and habits of prayer, praise, and hearing from the Lord; and in faithfully using the time the Lord has supplied for me to be intimate with Him.

86. In short, I want to fight to be everything the Lord wants me to be. I want to fight to make Him happy, to please Him, to do as much for Him and others as I possibly can. I want to fight to be the example in all areas that He knows I need to be. I want to fight for you, my dear Family—for healing‚ for continued victory, for answers‚ for finances, for unity. I want to learn to love to fight, and to be more like Dad in that way; to really get a thrill out of the fight!

87. I've received so much from the Lord and Dad. I've led what I would call a charmed life. I've had so much happiness. I've always been very fulfilled in my work for the Lord, and He's manifested His love so beautifully—first through Dad‚ and now through Peter. I know that I've received so much‚ and I want to learn to be more giving, more sharing in every area of my life.

88. My natural tendency, my carnal reaction without the Lord, is to be selfish—but I want to be more giving. I want to give more of myself, my time, and my loved ones. I want to always keep Jesus first, others second, and myself last, because I know that this spells JOY: Jesus—Others—You! This is a little saying that we often teach the children, and I know it sounds a little childish in its simplicity. But as much as possible I want to put this basic, loving, foundation principle into practice more and more in my life.

89. Giving is what our life is all about! That's what Jesus did—He gave. He gave His love. He gave the truth. He gave His tears and desperate prayers. He gave His compassion. He gave of His physical strength. He gave up His Own desires. In fact, He gave so much that He eventually gave His life! I pray that I can follow His example and be more and more giving and sharing, so that I can give back to others what the Lord has so mercifully and abundantly given me.

90. I want to be an example of the Lord and His love—not only in what I say or in the decisions I make or in my queenly duties‚ but also in the way I act on a day–to-day basis with those with whom I come in contact. And one of the simplest, yet surest and most effective, ways of being an example of the Lord's love is through giving affection.

91. I know some people are naturally very affectionate. They're "touchy" people; they like to touch and reach out and always seem to be giving hugs and pats and touches and kisses. But I would say that my personality or nature is a little more reserved. I don't know if it's due to my upbringing‚ or my sun sign, or if it's just the way the Lord made me so that I could continually work on this and progress, so that He would be glorified. But I have to admit that it's not my natural reaction to constantly be reaching out and touching people, hugging and kissing everyone, and always sort of cuddling those around me.

92. Of course, I am affectionate to a certain degree, and I do like it. It's just that it doesn't come naturally for me and it's something that I've had to work on and make a conscious effort to do‚ which I do. I've made a lot of progress in this area, thank the Lord, but I would like it to become so much of a habit that it almost becomes second nature. Dad has taught us that there's power in a touch! Even science today has admitted that there's healing power in touch. They even use touch therapy in a lot of hospitals to aid or quicken healing. For us who have the Spirit of the Lord, how much more so can there be power and healing in our loving touches!

93. As you're probably aware from what has been published in earlier Letters, sometimes I feel shy and self-conscious. This is a problem I've had for years—since I was young. I know that this type of shyness is really pride, as is brought out in the Letter "Shyness and Timidity" (ML #1032)‚ or the Treasures article‚ "The I-ness of Shyness!"

94. Isn't it interesting how pride is manifested in different ways in different people? Some people are quite boastful due to their pride; others are know-it–alls; others seem to be consumed with conceit because of their natural appearance and beauty; others are proud of their position or their mental faculties. Many in the System, of course, are proud of their financial status and their material goods. Pride has many faces, but in my case it's manifested in shyness and being self-conscious.

95. I want to continue to overcome in this area, because the less shy I become, the easier it is for me to yield and obey and do what the Lord wants me to do! I feel—and others have also told me—that I've grown very much in this area in the past few years, for which I'm very thankful. For example‚ it's becoming much easier for me to lead public meetings or to have dates with people I don't know well. I've even given a few prophecies in public, and sung in tongues in public, as you know, which were pretty big milestone steps for me.

96. So I know I'm making progress and the Lord is helping me to overcome my shyness and self-consciousness. I pray that He'll continue to help me yield and to be more Christ-conscious, and that my desire to please Him and be an example of His love and the freedom of His Spirit will override my natural reaction to be shy and to worry about myself, how I might look to others, or whether I'm going to make a fool of myself.

97. Of course, every time I step out by faith to do what the Lord wants me to do, in spite of my shyness, He always comes through for me! So I don't know why I still worry about it! You'd think I would have gotten a complete victory over this by now, but this seems to be one of those ongoing NWOs for me. While I'm making progress, I need to continually fight, yield, and pray for greater progress.

98. Another personal prayer request is that I will do better at not procrastinating, but rather will do things immediately. Of course, sometimes the Lord uses my procrastination to accomplish His will. Sometimes I'm planning to do something but I don't get around to it for a while, and then by the time I would have gotten around to it, I find out through circumstances, or by going back to the Lord to confirm His will regarding the situation, that things have changed and His plan is now different, and He has something else in mind. So in such cases the Lord causes my procrastination to be a case of Romans 8:28.

99. But in other cases my procrastination accomplishes little more than delaying the progress the Lord would want, and making me feel weighed down or burdened by not getting things done as quickly as I feel I should or could. You all probably know that terrible feeling you get when you have a nagging thought in the back of your mind telling you that you should have done such and such‚ and you know it's way overdue‚ and you're getting late and people are waiting on you. That can really spoil your fun, give you a heaviness of spirit, make you feel discouraged about yourself and your lack of productivity, and keep you from being able to look ahead and get ideas or do things that you should be doing for today or the future, instead of being tied to the past through the things that are yet undone.

100. Of course, sometimes the Lord allows us to not get things done as quickly as we would like, because that keeps us desperate. I was recently a little discouraged about how long some fairly simple work projects were taking me. But when Peter and I heard from the Lord about it, He encouraged me that if we were always one hundred percent on top of it and just zipping along, then we wouldn't feel the need for Him so much. So there is a balance, of course.

101. But I do hope and pray that I'll be able to have the attacking initiative that I need so I will do things immediately as much as possible. I pray that I'll have more instant obedience, and that as a result, I'll have more constant peace of mind and be more completely focused.

102. Another request that the Lord laid on my heart is that I will continue to spend personal time with people, even more than I do now, which seems to me to be quite a lot. We're all so very busy in our work for the Lord that it's easy to get caught up in our many duties and not take the time we should with others. As you may recall‚ shortly after Dad's Homegoing the Lord taught me some very important lessons about the need to not be so concerned just with His work and the administration and leading of the Family, but also to be willing to take time with people, and be an example of the Lord's love person-to-person, one-on-one. (See "Lessons of Love," ML #2975, GN 622 or Lifelines 22.) He showed me at that time that I was not only responsible to lead and guide the Family overall, but like Dad had been, I was also personally responsible for the people that I live with and have personal communication with. That was a lesson-learning time for me, and my life definitely changed from that point on!

103. I'm happy to tell you that I've continued to spend time with people. In fact, I believe I'm spending more and more time with those in our Home. I communicate extensively with our dear ones here on the intercom, during which time we discuss the Lord's work and the various projects we're involved in, but we also enjoy personal fellowship. Peter and I also have people into our room on a regular basis so we can have dinner together and fellowship. He and I also meet from time to time with the whole Home for fellowship and to share testimonies and the Lord's Words. I also have occasional dates, when possible (with others besides Peter‚ that is).

104. So please don't misunderstand me when I put forth the request to spend more time with people. It's not that I never spend time with people; I definitely do! But as I'm sure you can understand, when you're busy and have so much to do, it's easy to sometimes feel pressured, and that as much as you would like to, you just don't have the time to talk to someone personally, or hear from the Lord for someone who's struggling, or go for a walk with someone who needs a little attention, or invite someone into your room to lie down on the bed for some personal fellowship, communication or lovemaking. All of that takes time, and it's easy to bump it further down your to-do list until you just never get to it until the need becomes urgent.

105. But I'd like the Lord to help me to continue to have a good balance between my work for you, our worldwide Family‚ and my care and shepherding of those I have personal contact with. I want to continue to take enough time with people, sharing heart-to-heart communication, group fellowship, personal time, dates, etc.

106. You don't know how much I appreciate your prayers for me regarding my personal requests and work habits! I don't think I could ever express to you how much I depend on your prayers!

Health Prayer Requests

107. In this last category I'd like to include some requests for my health:

108. My eyes are constantly in need of prayer. But I want to glorify the Lord by telling you once again that the Lord has miraculously kept my eyes this year! Even times when I've traveled with Peter or have been in other circumstances where I've had to use my eyes much‚ much more than usual, while they did become a little sorer‚ for the most part the Lord kept me from headaches‚ which is a very big miracle!

109. I do still fight the continual soreness and dryness, which is a bother. But the greater problem is that my sore eyes bring on headaches, and then the headaches themselves make my eyes sorer, and the end result is a vicious cycle. So I would like to ask you to please pray specifically that my eyes would be strengthened and that the Lord would continue to keep me from headaches.

110. Another health request is that the Lord will protect me from catching colds and help me to continue to get good exercise. My body does not easily regulate its temperature, which I believe makes me more susceptible to catching colds. Sometimes just the tiniest draft can give me the sniffles. But thank the Lord, even though I've had the sniffles many times this past year, I've had very few full-blown colds. I'm also very thankful that I've been able to get good exercise, and I pray that I'll continue to be strengthened in this area.

111. I also ask you to please pray that I'll be able to get the uninterrupted deep sleep I need, and that I won't have long periods of wakefulness in the night. I've been having difficulty getting sufficient sleep. For a while now I've been sleeping for a short period—even just 30 minutes or an hour—and then waking, only to find that I stay awake for hours before being able to fall asleep again. When praying about it, the Lord gave me some good practical tips, such as trying to get as much exercise as I can, making sure my bed is comfortable, getting sufficient fresh air‚ not eating energy-giving foods too close to the time when I would try to sleep‚ and taking a little time to slow down and relax before bedtime. I have been trying to do these things as much as possible. Also, the Lord said that sometimes my work and the many things there are to think and pray about keep me awake, as I feel rather "buzzed." I'm sure you've experienced that feeling from time to time and know how difficult it is to sleep when you're in that state.

112. However, apart from these physical factors, the Lord said that this wakefulness was also due in part to the attacks of the Enemy. He said (Jesus speaking:) "In the night, during your sleeping hours‚ that is when I restore you. I refill and restrengthen your weary body and mind after all the activities of the day, all the strain that has been upon you, both on your body and spirit. It's a special time that I have assigned to fill you with My Spirit and My strength. It's an important time. The Enemy knows this and he is trying to hinder your rest times. He likes to come in with his distractions in any way he can to make you more tired. But I am greater than he is, and it is not My will for you to be hindered in this way. So ask for prayer against any little annoyances of the Enemy. It might seem like a small matter, but it is important. Every moment, even as you lie down, is very important, and there is no time to be wasted. So as the prayers go up, My Spirit of rest and peace and sleep will come upon you. I will give My beloved rest!" (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

113. My fourth health prayer request is for the healing of the cysts in my womb, which are gradually getting bigger. The extended bleeding that is caused by the cysts makes me very weak. The weaker I get, the more it affects my eyes, making them very, very sore. When I'm the weakest during these lengthy periods, I can hardly walk around the room, work‚ or concentrate. It becomes impossible for me to get even ten minutes of exercise. I have to exercise while lying in my bed, by simply moving my feet or lifting my arms. Thank the Lord, after the periods stop He helps me to begin to recoup my strength miraculously quickly; but if I begin bleeding again fairly soon, it's difficult.

114. As you read in the prophecy excerpts that I included earlier in this Letter, the Lord said, "Call on the Family's help in prayer, asking for complete healing of the cysts. Go a step further and ask for the impossible—not just a healing of the results, which is the prolonged bleeding, but a complete healing. Ask Me to take care of the root problem. Step out on the limb! Put Me on the spot! Test Me! Prove Me! Ask for the impossible! Ask for a miracle!"

115. I pray that in the Lord's perfect time He will heal me completely of these cysts. When praying about this further‚ the Lord gave some beautiful promises, which I claim. He said:

116. (Jesus speaking:) The cysts are the cause; the bleeding is the result. These cysts are now what you must pray against for the health of My queen. Many times she's called on her children‚ those in her Home and those of the entire Family, to pray for her strength and for the cessation of the flow of blood. I've seen your tears, I've heard your prayers, and I've delivered time and again. I'm well pleased with your faithfulness and your importunity. I'm also well pleased with the patience and thankful spirit and praiseful attitude of the queen.

117. This has been a test not only for the queen, but also for the Family. It's tested the patience of the queen. It's caused her to go many times to her prayer closet and to call upon her channels to hear from Me My specific Words of revelation, direction and encouragement. She's never wavered in faith, nor has she considered the way of the physicians. In this I am well pleased, for this has been My plan regarding the queen. For had she gone the way of the physicians, how then could I manifest this great miracle that I long to do for her?

118. Her children have also been tested, because they've prayed and prayed and prayed again—yet there were more prayer requests time and time again. Of course some would wonder, "Why? Why does the Lord not answer? Is there something wrong either with the Lord, or the queen, or the word of promise that He's given?" But I say that‚ no, there is nothing wrong. All has been within My will and My timing, and this test, this affliction which has been for a time, has brought about My desired will and has borne fruit in many ways.

119. But now I long to deliver the queen from the cause of this bleeding which results in such weakness. I've promised that as your days, so shall your strength be, and I've given the strength that she needed. I've come through for her, even in her weakest moments. But now she's in need of more strength‚ consistent strength, renewed strength.

120. The queen will mount up on wings as an eagle! She will run and not be weary; she will walk and not faint. For she has trusted in the Lord her God, and great will be her deliverance! Great will be her healing, and she will be renewed as a young woman! She will have renewed vigor, pep and energy that she has not known before.

121. Therefore I say pray, My children! Pray for the queen. Pray not for the healing of the bleeding but of the cysts‚ that they may be removed, plucked out; that they may burst forth from her womb, for they encumber the ground. The beauty of patience‚ faith, endurance, desperate prayer and fighting for healing that now covers your queen also covers these cysts, to where you will see them no more! (End of message from Jesus.)

122. I would also like to ask for prayer that the Lord would help me through this time of menopause with as few negative side effects as possible. I'm thankful that He's given me such grace thus far, and I know He will continue to perfect that which concerneth me.

123. My last health prayer request is for my hair to stop falling out so much. I realized recently that I've been losing quite a bit of hair each day—much more than usual. I felt, and the Lord confirmed in prophecy, that this hair loss is the result of my having lost so much strength, nutrients and reserves through the extended bleeding. I believe many of you mothers and first-generation women have experienced this extreme hair loss from time to time. So you probably know that while it's not a life-threatening affliction‚ it can become a concern, because not many people have such thick hair that they can afford to lose so much each day for very long.

124. When I had someone pray about this, the Lord not only confirmed that I should add this request to this Letter, but He also gave me some good practical advice‚ which I'll include for you here, as it might help you too if you're ever faced with the same problem.

125. (Jesus speaking:) Try as best you can to eat the most nutritious foods possible. Brush your hair or have someone brush it regularly, to massage the scalp. Exercise regularly, which helps to feed your hair as your blood moves. And don't worry! I will keep both you and your hair, because you've been obedient, you've asked for prayer‚ you've acknowledged Me. Every tiny detail of your care and health is My concern. (End of excerpt of message from Jesus.)

126. Thank you so very much‚ my dear, precious Family, for your prayers for me. I do appreciate them more than words can say. I need your prayers, I depend on them, and I know that the Lord multiplies them many times over. He sees the sacrifice that it is for you to take your time and strength to pray for me‚ and I know that He also blesses you for being willing to do so. Thank you so very much, my faithful prayer warriors! God bless you! I love you so much!

In love‚ and in your service,

Mama

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family