Maria
May 26, 2003
9/94
—Letters to Mama & Her Replies!DO 2944
Maria #231
INTRO FROM MAMA!
Dear Family,
1. HERE are some more personal answers which we would like to share with you. As we've said before, we wish we had the time to answer each one of you by name in a very individual way, but please be assured that we do read each of your letters to us, & we pray for you. When you bring up questions or problems, we often discuss these with your leadership, prayerfully trying to decide what we can do to make things easier for you & all the other members of our precious Family who may be encountering similar difficulties. So if you don't get a personal letter from us addressing your specific question or problem, don't despair. Please know that we are praying for you & are trying to do everything we can to help you.
2. Some day soon, you may be reading a Letter from Dad or me in a GN & find some words from the Lord that will be exactly what you need, or the key to your situation, something that will answer your questions & help resolve the problems.—Something from the Lord that you will see as His loving answer to your need! Even though you may not find your name in print, you will know that the Lord & we are doing our best to love you & care for you & attend to your needs.
3. It's like reading the Bible—God's Love Letters to us!—It may not be directed by name to us, but when reading it, we have no doubt that He is speaking right to us. And those precious Words jump out at us & comfort us & edify us & instruct us & inspire us, & we know He is speaking to us personally.
4. So please be assured that you're each very precious to the Lord—as well as to Dad & me—& we want to do all we can to make you happy & fruitful. So do your part—what you can—& we know that the Lord will do what you can't, & will also help us to do what we can.
5. As you read the letter to Joseph Willing & then the second one to M., note that both of these men have gone through extremely heavy & prolonged battles, which at times seemed more than they could bear. Take note of why one seems to have come out stronger & steadier, while the other is reeling & dizzied & more traumatised by the shock of the battering & pummeling of the Enemy's attacks. Study the way that each has reacted to these trials & why‚ & the Lord's response to each of these‚ His precious children.—The great personal love & care that He extends to them.
6. Our prayer is that as you see the Lord's wonderful Love & understanding toward these, His children‚ that you will likewise want to have this same love, patience, compassion & understanding toward those around you who may be going through the darkness of doubt & great personal loss.
Love, Mama
LETTER TO JOSEPH WILLING!
7. (Joseph Willing [formerly Willing] is the father of Mark Elder [see GN 600 & Hope 57]. Joseph joined the Family in 1971 at 19 years of age & then left from 1982 to 1986, rejoining during the Searcher meetings in the States. Joseph is the one who first said, "The Family at its worst is better than the System at its best!" Joseph's wife & her new mate & Joseph's five children also rejoined at the same time. His wife & her new mate & their two youngest children later backslid, which caused great heartache to Joseph, but he determined to continue serving the Lord in Latin America with his three older sons who he was very close to. Then one of Joseph's sons left the Family, which broke his heart.
8. (Joseph felt called to Eastern Europe, & his departure from Latin America meant that he left behind a Latin sister whom he had grown very close to, as well as his two remaining teen sons. While in Europe he heard the news that these two had also left the Family.
9. (At the time that he received this sad news, due to his personal problems, Joseph had just been relieved of all responsibilities & put on kitchen duty fulltime‚ & was later asked to go to an RTC Home. Joseph's time in Europe was filled with intense spiritual, physical & emotional battles, which he said "lasted every day for the entire two years I was there!"—Spiritually, he was barraged by negative thoughts & pictures daily. Physically, he battled back pain & other difficulties. Emotionally‚ he was overwhelmed with heartache over the losses of his family & loved ones.
10. (The wonderful conclusion to all this is that he has come through the "deep waters" without being drowned, & that he is now back to normal spiritually, the Lord has healed his back & the other physical problems, & he is again a happy & productive disciple. Though happy & challenged, Joseph has asked for prayer because the Enemy really attacks him a lot with the feeling, "I must have failed my own kids in some way for them all to be out of the Family.")
From Mama, 31/7/94:
Dear Joseph‚
11. Thank you for writing & sharing your heart with us. Isn't it wonderful to know, Joseph, that no matter how heavy our sorrow or how deep our heartache, Jesus knows all about it & He understands. It's just wonderful to know that Someone not only cares, but can understand what we've gone through & can feel the hurt & the heartache.—And not only feel it, but do something about it. He can reach down & heal & renew & strengthen.
12. One of my favourite songs which I liked to play over & over on the piano when I was a young teen was "Does Jesus Care?" My biggest heartbreak at that time was what many teens go through: Being emotionally attracted to someone who didn't return the feelings. But taking my heartache to Jesus made things so much better. I guess even that long ago the Lord was helping me to receive the comfort that I could later pass on to others.
Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song;
As the burdens press & the cares distress,
And the way grows weary & long.
Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread & fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades
Does He care enough to be near?
Does Jesus care when I've tried & failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief I find no relief,
Tho' my tears flow all the night long?
Does Jesus care when I've said "good-bye"
To the dearest on Earth to me,
And my sad heart aches
Till it nearly breaks—
Is this aught to Him? Does He see?
(Chorus:)
Oh yes‚ He cares; I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary,
The long nights dreary,
I know my Saviour cares.
13. I can't tell you that I completely understand, Joseph, but I can point you to One Who I know does. My heart aches for you, but I know that the closer you draw to Jesus, the lighter the load will be.
There's never a care or burden,
There's never a grief or loss‚
But that Jesus in Love will lighten
When carried to the Cross.
Wonderful, wonderful Jesus.
In my heart He implanteth a song.
A song of deliverance, of courage, of strength,
In my heart He implanteth a song.
14. I was thinking about writing this letter to you & I was praying about what I should say, & the Lord reminded me of our "When You Need Him Most" tape. This is a tape that I hope you have your own personal copy of & are able to listen to frequently. I personally chose each of the songs on this tape, most of which I had known for years, since I was a child, having sung them in church or heard my parents or Gospel quartets sing. All the songs on this tape are very dear & special to me, & I knew that if I could get them into the hands of our precious Family they would be a very great strength & encouragement to them in times of trouble. Wasn't that a wonderful title that the Lord gave us for the tape?—"When You Need Him Most."
Fear not the testing,
'Tis to make you stronger,
That not in self,
But in Christ your soul shall boast.
He will not leave you,
Rest now on His Promise,
For He is nearest when you need Him most.
15. I don't think there is anything I could say that could be of more comfort to you than to point you to the beautiful Bible-based words of this tape‚ which were composed by those going through deep waters, tragedy & heartache, but who looked to Jesus for their deliverance & were not disappointed.
16. After writing the first paragraph of this letter to you, I stopped & got my tape & listened to the words of the songs & cried through the whole thing!—Thinking about you & how these songs would be just the answer for you—the comforting voice of the Lord in each one, lovingly encouraging you to cast your care upon Him & He will sustain you.
17. I pray that these words will sink deeply into your heart, that you will memorize them; & that even when you don't have this tape, these words will run through your mind & be a comfort to you & cause you to:
Lean hard on Him, O tested soul.
On Him your cares & troubles roll.
Our God still hears & has control.
He will not fail you now.
Whenever I am tempted,
Whenever clouds arise.
When songs give place to sighing,
When hope within me dies.
I draw the closer to Him,
From fears He sets me free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me.
18. Joseph, we probably don't have to tell you all of this, because if you hadn't known how to hold on to the Lord for dear life, you wouldn't have made it. You certainly have gone through deep waters that have almost overwhelmed you‚ & through the raging fires which have almost devoured you. You have been through the Hell of the System, & experienced deep disappointment with some Family Members who may have been unwise & unloving. You've battled long & hard the very vicious attacks of doubt & discouragement that the Enemy tried to destroy you with; you've gone through difficult & painful physical afflictions; you've known great heartbreak over the loss of a wife & five precious children to the System; you've battled condemnation; you've wrestled against the temptation to become bitter; you've experienced continual discouragement over NWOs.
19. You've endured all these things, but like Job you've said, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him!"—And you hung on!—And you made it! I suppose that often you couldn't even see how "all these things were working together for your good," & you couldn't see how He was "doing all things well!" (Rom.8:28; Mk.7:37.)—You couldn't see!—But you believed that somehow, some time, in some way everything was going to work out all right. It's almost impossible to see it when you're going through it‚ the price is so great. But when we remember that we could never pay as great a price as Jesus did, & that these sufferings are only for a little time, & then we'll reap rewards forever for our sacrifices, it makes it easier to bear.
20. We can see why the Devil has been fighting you so furiously. You are engaged in a great job for Jesus, one of the most important—teaching our young people, training our babes & rescuing souls from the Devil's clutches. If you thought you were just a "nobody," forget that notion. You are special to the Lord, precious in His sight, & He needs you desperately. He needs you free of your fears, your condemnation, your bitterness. He wants to free you from the things that keep you bound so that you can serve Him with joy. "And ye shall know the Truth‚ & the Truth shall set you free" (John 8:32), so that you can say, "He brought me up out of the miry clay & set my feet upon a rock, & established my goings‚ & put a new song in my mouth." (Psalm 40:1-3.)
21. You may be asking yourself, "How can Mama be writing me?—She doesn't even know me or what my problems are. After all, I almost got kicked out of the Family." It may be news to you—& to many others—that we don't decide who we write by how good they are or how few problems they have!—We judge by the need & how the Lord burdens us to respond to it. Like that old song goes, "He looked beyond my fault & saw my need."
22. Who did the Good Shepherd show special concern for?—Wasn't it the little lost sheep that strayed & got lost in the brambles on the mountain? Thank God we don't have to be perfect to receive the Lord's comfort & love. Like the father of the prodigal son, the Lord rejoices over the lost one more than the ones safe at home. He thrills at the rescue of the one lost lamb more than the 99 left in the fold.
23. "How think ye? If a man have an hundred sheep‚ and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains‚ and seeketh that which is gone astray? And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. Even so it is not the Will of your Father which is in Heaven‚ that one of these little ones should perish." (Mat.18:12,13; Luke 15:4-7.)
24. Perhaps from a very self-righteous man you have become the humble sinner that He can use, a broken man that He can work through, & now a comforted man who can "comfort others with the comfort wherewith you are comforted."—2Cor.1:4.
25. I'm writing this letter on my birthday, July 31st, & at this moment our Home members are gathered together to ask the Lord, upon my request, for some specific words of encouragement for you. I asked them to do this as their birthday present to me, & they wholeheartedly agreed. They were planning to hear from the Lord for me, but I've had so much wonderful encouragement that I wanted to give someone else a chance, & you were the one that the Lord especially laid on our hearts. I'm asking the Lord to use these special Words from Him to turn your mourning into joy, to take away your spirit of heaviness & dispel the clouds of confusion that have descended upon you to try to destroy your usefulness.
Much love & prayers‚
Mama
26. P.S. Following are the words of comfort which the Lord gave through our Family Members when they prayed for you:
Prophecies:
27. As it was with Job, so has it been with thee. I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction‚ & I have taken all that thou hast, & yet thou hast not denied My Name nor turned back from serving Me‚ & thou hast become a testimony to many. And thou shalt yet be an encouragement & an inspiration & a vision to many, that though the battles are strong & the Devil fights hard, I will be with him that looks to Me in his hour of need, & I will carry him through. I will bring thee—& all of My dear children—through the battles that are ahead. Fret not for thy children, for they are My children & I have control & I will lead them in the way that they shall go.—And thou shalt see them again & thou shalt rejoice. Keep thine eyes on Me, for thou hast done well, & thou hast kept thine heart with all diligence.
28. I am the Lord & I do all things well. I know thy heart & I know thou hast thine heart turned toward Me. I have heard thy prayers, & I will be with your little ones & your big ones. But put them completely in My care, trust thou in Me that I will care for them. I am working in their lives, I do all things well. I will restore them unto their place of service to Me. But continue to have faith in Me that I will care for them. Thou hast been an ensample of My Love & trust & dedication to many others. I will bless thee for this. Thou hast forsaken much & I count this as an honour to thee.
29. But concerning thy sons, put them fully in My care & entrust them to Me. I will care for them, I will be with them, I will teach & train them. I will teach them the things they have to learn. Leave them now totally in My care, & continue on in thy service for Me. For I will bless thee & keep thee & help thee in every way. I love thee, My faithful one, who loves Me so. I know thy heart & I know it is broken. For I have heard thy prayers, I have seen thy tears‚ & behold, I will heal thee.
30. No greater love hath any man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Blessed is this one who hath laid down his life for the lives of the little ones of others, even though he feels defeated & as nothing in his own sight. I will lift him up, I will raise him & lift his heart & lift his spirit unto Me. He has cast his bread upon the waters & he shall find it after many days.
31. Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience; but let patience have her perfect work‚ that ye may be perfect & entire, wanting nothing. For behold, Satan hath desired to have thee that he may sift thee as wheat; but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not; & when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren. That the trial of your faith being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise & honour & glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ. Be thou faithful unto death & I will give thee a crown of life.
32. Think it not strange concerning this fiery trial which hath tried thee, as though some strange thing happened unto thee. But rejoice, inasmuch as thou art a partaker of Christ's suffering, that when His glory shall be revealed, thou shalt be glad also with exceeding joy. For these manifold temptations came not to stay, but they came to pass, & every wrong will be made right again.
33. Thou art wise to hold on, for I will bless thee & I will restore everything unto thee many fold. For if thou shalt continue to serve Me with thy whole heart‚ thy children shall be blessed; for if one parent serves Me, the children are blessed wherever they are. And even though thy sons are sojourning in a dry land, I will feed them & I will keep them, & at the time appointed I will bring them back in full service. Therefore trust in Me & follow Me & I will help thee & keep thee & uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness. I will encourage thee, I will wipe away all sorrow & all tears & discouragement & attacks of the Enemy. If thou shalt draw nigh unto Me, I will draw nigh unto thee. For it is in Me that thou shalt overcome the attacks of the Enemy.
34. I love thee, my precious one‚ on bended knee to Me, looking unto Me. Thou shalt be as one who looked unto Him & was lightened. I shall be thy Sun & thy shield & thy buckler & I will defeat the Enemy for thee. I have defeated the Enemy for thee. But in all thy battles continue to look steadfastly unto Me & I will bless thee, I will give thee victory. Continue to look into My face & I will strengthen thee & help thee & answer thy every prayer.
35. Come unto Me‚ thou who art weary & heavy laden, & I will give thee rest. Take My yoke upon thee & learn of Me, for I am meek & lowly in heart & thou shalt find rest unto thy soul. I shall wipe all tears away from thine eyes & soothe thy broken heart & give thee peace of mind that passeth all understanding in just one moment. Trust in Me, keep thy confidence, keep thy heart with all diligence. There hath not one thing been promised by Me that shall not come to pass. Hold on one step at a time.
36. For I am greatly pleased with thy precious gifts of service & sacrifice—thy children, thy life, thy everything that thou hast given to Me. I will not withhold one thing from thee that thou desirest. I will give thee joy unspeakable & treasures of heart & mind that others cannot understand, because these have been reserved for thee. Thou hast given much unto Me, & I will return 100-fold in this life. Keep close to Me. Thou art My very faithful one in whom I delight.
37. (Peter:) Behold the strength of the arm that holds the hammer that hits the anvil, & with what fury it smashes down upon the heated metal that layeth upon the anvil.—And how it beats & beats & beats again, & then throws it once again in the burning furnace. And again & again it beats & hits & smashes‚ & heats again & casts into the water to cool. And then again it heats & then again it bangs, & with real strength & almost anger.—But yet it is not in anger, for it is to fashion the metal into the vessel that I would make it.
38. The metal cannot tell the end result, it only feels the beating & the heat & the cold & the beating again. It does not see the way it is being formed‚ & the thing of beauty that I am making it into. It only feels the pain & the crushing & the blows & the heat & the cold. It does not see the end result.
39. But I am the Blacksmith, I am the one Who is forming & molding it into the useful tool which I will make thee into. It is not for the metal to question or to worry or to doubt. It must know that the Blacksmith is in control & knows exactly what He is doing.—That each thrust of the hammer is measured, every amount of time in the heat is measured, every thrust into the cold water is measured, because I am bending & molding & making thee into a vessel for My use.
40. Therefore be not afraid, for thou knowest not the beauty that thou shalt have. And these things do not weaken the metal, but they strengthen it & they form it into the tool that I make it.—Into a strong tool. For it is no longer just brittle metal‚ but it is metal that is molded into the shape I desire. And although it is painful & it is long & it hurts, yet in the end thou shalt know & thou shalt be strong & be useful & thou shalt be of benefit to others.
41. Therefore fear not, for thou art in the Master's hand‚ & I am molding thee & shaping thee for the purpose that I have for thee. Your part is to hold on, to trust in utter faith that I know what I am doing. I shall bring thee forth to great reward & thou shalt be strengthened, & through this thou shalt strengthen many, for thou shalt have been through the anvil & the beating & the heat, & thou shalt know in the end that it is of Me & that I have created thee into what I will have thee to be. And thou wilt be able in turn to help others during their time on the anvil & through their time of beating.
42. (I had a picture that went along with the prophecy of the muscular arm holding the huge hammer. It was banging with full force‚ with all its strength. It wasn't like it was just a little tinkering, but it was pounding as hard as it could to shape the metal. It shocked me to see something being hit that hard. I never realised they did it that way or that they hit that hard. It occurred to me too that I'm sure Joseph probably feels very weak through all this, but in fact, he's been made strong because of it. All the beating & everything he's gone through has made him into a pretty strong person, although I'm sure he doesn't feel that way. He probably feels like a wreck, but in the long run he's probably much stronger for it.
43. (Making tempered steel is an involved process & it goes through shock treatments, extreme heat, extreme cold—not just once, but repeatedly. But the more it's done, the tougher the metal gets, & it results in very tough steel. The Lord does the same thing with us spiritually to toughen us up.)
Visions & Verses:
44. While receiving the prophecy about the Lord being his shield & buckler (see paragraph 34), I had a vision of Joseph as a knight. He was kneeling on his right knee, his left leg was kind of crooked up, & he was leaning heavily on a staff. And though he himself looked a bit bedraggled, he still had a very bright & shiny helmet & a shiny shield right in front of him.
45. It seemed he was feeling so weak that all he could do was prop himself up on one knee & then lean fully & heavily on the staff with this shield held upright. The bottom edge of his shield was on the ground, & it was in front of him reflecting the light. It was real shiny & bright like he had faithfully kept it polished. It seemed that the shield, like the Word‚ was the only thing that was keeping him, because the rest of him looked so tired & beaten down. It was so sweet how he had kept the shield so shiny. He was looking up toward the light & he became so joyous, with this incredible look of happiness on his face. It was so sweet & he was so thankful & relieved & happy.
46. I got the phrase, "Man of sorrow‚ acquainted with grief." Sometimes you think when somebody is going through it so bad that the Lord is dealing with them, but apparently, in this case He is just making him more like Jesus.
47. (Techi:) The Lord gave me, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. Though the mountains shall depart & though the hills be removed‚ My kindness shall not depart from thee. I will not leave thee comfortless. I will come to you." And "A bruised reed shall I not break, & the smoking flax shall I not quench."
48. While we were praying I saw a vision of him in Mama's arms, & it was really beautiful.—Like through Mama the Lord's Love was shining completely over him. He seemed like he had almost given up hope because he had so many burdens & cares, but in the picture he was completely relaxed. It was sort of like he was in the arms of Jesus, but it was Mama holding him all around. Then I got the words, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart."
49. (Peter:) When we first started to pray I also got something about Job.—How Job lost everything‚ but then in the end he gained everything back. (Four other people got the same thing about Job.)
50. I got the verse, "Be not weary in well doing‚ for in due season ye shall reap if ye faint not," like Job.
51. I had a vision of a beautiful waterfall in the distance‚ & then I got the words, "As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so shall these words be from a far country." Also, when you were getting the vision about the anvil, I kept seeing a horseshoe. The blacksmith had a horseshoe & he was banging on it, & it was going in & out from the furnace to the anvil. Then the prophecy said something about‚ "I am molding thee & shaping thee for the purpose that I have for thee," & in the end the horseshoe became a crown!
52. I also got the verses: "Come, & let us return unto the Lord: for He hath torn, & He will heal us; He hath smitten, & He will bind us up. After two days will He revive us: in the third day He will raise us up‚ & we shall live in His sight. Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: His going forth is prepared as the morning; & He shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter & former rain unto the Earth." (Hosea 6:1-3.)
53. And the words to the song, "Farther along we'll know all about it. Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine. You'll understand things all by & by."
54. Guilt can be very strong.—The guilt of failure‚ your children have left, your mate has left, you feel it's all your fault. And I thought‚ "Boy, what verse could you get to combat that?" And what came to me was, "There is no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus."—Rom.8:1. We need to just keep looking to the Lord. Also, since his teens were of an accountable age, they were responsible for their own actions.
55. I was thinking also of the letter from his son, Mark Elder, & how many kids it's going to help & how many it's going to keep. So even though Mark is away, the Lord is using him.
56. In the very beginning when we started praying I got the words, "Will I not care for My Own?" The Lord loves Joseph's sons even more than he does, & the Lord is going to continue working in their lives & see them through the way He wants them to go.
57. I had a little picture of a stream that was very very straight, & a big weeping willow tree right by the stream with some of its branches hanging in the water. I was thinking, "I don't understand what this means." Then someone started to give the prophecy about the knight & I thought, "Maybe this is where the knight goes when he's resting; he sits by the stream & leans against the tree & is refreshed by the Lord." But there was also something in the tree, some little white thing. I don't know what it was, but maybe Joseph will know. Actually, I thought it was a note, but I thought, "A note in the tree? That's really sort of far–fetched." (Someone suggests maybe it's Mama's letter to Joseph!)
Oh, the wonderful story of deathless Love!
Each child is dear to that Heart above:
He fights for me when I cannot fight,
He comforts me in the gloom of night,
He lifts the burden, for He is strong,
He stills the sigh, & awakens the song;
The burdens that bow me down He bears,
And loves & pities because He cares.
LETTER TO ANOTHER BATTLE-WEARY SOLDIER!
58. (The following letter was written to M., a member of one of our Media Teams, who‚ after many years of faithful service to the Lord & the Family, has taken a leave of absence, along with his mate, J. Having to wade through all of the Enemy's lies & garbage during the last few years of one of our court cases had taken quite a toll on M. spiritually, & he felt he couldn't continue "business as usual‚" but had to re-evaluate & reassess what direction he wanted to take.)
From Mama, 8/94:
M., dear one!
59. Thank you for your letter explaining your need for a period of rest. We want to reassure you that our love for you hasn't changed since we wrote you last, nor has the depth of our appreciation for the sacrifices you have made.
60. When we read your letter, we shed some tears.—Not because of your desire to take a rest—which you certainly need & deserve—but because of our realisation of the losses & spiritual wounds you have sustained in the battle.
61. We were deeply burdened for you‚ & both Peter & I talked about writing you immediately. We felt that the Lord wanted us to offer you His Love & compassion. I knew, however, that we couldn't express it for the Lord in the way that He could express it. We could get the general idea, but we thought it would be wonderful for the Lord to say it to you directly in prophecy. Therefore, I asked the Family here to pray for your renewed strength & spiritual healing, and to ask the Lord if He had anything which He wanted to say to you.
62. In order to get specific encouragement, counsel and direction‚ I asked our Home to bring three questions before the Lord. These were:
63. The Lord answered wonderfully! He said He loves you with an everlasting love & wants to draw you close to Him. You have been a faithful soldier in His Kingdom, but during this long and drawn-out conflict you have been severely wounded & your shield has gone missing. He has great compassion for you in your pain & He has given you this rest time to fellowship with Him & to draw strength & courage from His Word, & to become refilled & refreshed & restocked at His armory.
64. You may feel inside that hope has died, but as you turn to Him, He will revive your spirit, restore your shield of faith & renew your joy. "For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope." (Rom.15:4.)
65. And dear J., when I first heard that you had gone with M. I was glad, because I knew you would be a great comfort & strength to him. However, I wanted to hear the Lord confirm my feelings—& your decision—so I asked our Home to pray for you, also, & the Lord spoke, confirming your decision to support M. during this difficult time. He gave you some beautiful words of encouragement & counsel to hang on to. You're a wonderful blessing, J., & we love you very much & are counting on you to stay close to Jesus & His Word, & to help M. to do the same. He has great things ahead for both of you.
66. We want to commend you both for turning everything over in order, with all the business details attended to so faithfully, not leaving anything undone or unexplained. Of course, we wish that you had felt free to express to us your need for a rest, & your personal turmoil. We would have understood & granted your request. But the important thing now is that you know that we love you & the Lord loves you‚ & neither we—nor He—condemn you. We want to see you spiritually & physically happy & restored to full health through the power of His healing Word.
67. With love & prayers & gratitude for a battle well fought, we remain,
Yours in His Love,
Mama
68. P.S. Following is Peter's prayer for you, & the things that the Lord gave in prophecy, and then the prayer & prophecies for J.
Prayer & Prophecies for M.:
69. (Peter prays: ) Thank you so much, Lord, that we can come before You & bring precious M. before Your throne, & that we can beseech You for any Words that You may have for him. We thank You very much for the tremendous blessing & help M. has been to the Family. He was a faithful missionary for years & years in India, & a real backbone to the Work for the last few years when he willingly took on the job of fighting for the Family in this court case.
70. It's really been a fight, a huge battle, Lord—You know that more than anyone—& it has required M. & the others to become intimately involved with System lawyers & the court system & having to listen to all the attacks & lies of our enemies, as well as those of backslidden teens, anti–cult people, & people like Dupuy & Mene. M. & the others have had to delve into testimonies from backsliders, the enemies of Thy children, & read them not just once, but over & over & over again. M. has had to think about them & dwell on these things & come up with answers, which has been quite draining.
71. Lord, we also know that he's been very involved with many different outside friends‚ academics, lawyers & contacts for a couple of years, various precious people who really love us, but who nevertheless can be questioning & critical of the Family. M. has been on the front lines for two years non-stop, slugging it out day-in & day-out with these things, & we know the Enemy has certainly also been right there speaking in his ears & blasting him in the face with lies.—And it's all undoubtedly taken a great toll on M. It was quite obvious even over the last year that he had been running very much in his own strength, & we admonished him a number of times about this; but the job was so taxing & it had to be done, & it just seems that he got quite burnt out.
72. We know too that there are probably other reasons that have caused him to lay down his crown at this time, to feel that he needs to leave just to rest. But whatever the case is‚ Lord, we know that You know & we don't. We look at M. as being very faithful & someone who has really given his life for the Family, & it seems now that he's been wounded quite seriously in the spirit.
73. So we bring him before You‚ & we ask You to please show us if there is any direction You have for him‚ any Words of counsel that You want to give him that would help him to understand the situation & what Your Will is & what He should or shouldn't do. We also ask that You give Words of encouragement for him, because he has been a tremendous blessing. We are sure You want to encourage him, because he's undoubtedly discouraged & may feel condemned. We also ask You for whatever the root of the problem is. Certainly there is a problem & You know what the root is.
74. We know that You're in control & that all things work together for good to them that love You, & we believe & know that M. does love You & that all these things will work together for good. We know that when we come before You, You are faithful to show exactly what the problems are & what the solutions are. So we bring these questions before You & ask You for any direction, any encouragement‚ & also if You can show us what the root of the situation is, it would be a help & a blessing & a strength to M.—In Jesus' name.
75. (Gary:) He has become weary in well-doing. The spirit of a man shall sustain his infirmities‚ but this one hath no spirit to sustain him at this time of weakness. In My mercy there remaineth therefore a rest unto the children of God.
76. For some have gone out from you because they were not of you, but this could not be said of this one. For he is one of you, & he has stood mighty in battle, to the laying down of his own life & that of his family. But the spears of the Enemy have pierced his armour & have caused mortal pain & mortal wounds that only I can heal. But his medals shine bright from the battle, & his armour is tarnished but still renewable. He must take upon him the whole armour of God, for in the midst of battle the shield of faith hath been lost. But this can be restocked from the armories of God if ye will pray for this one.
77. For I have strength that ye know not of & that he knows not of, which shall be given unto him in My time. Yea, there remaineth a rest unto the children of God & this one has seized it; but to others it shall be given, & it is yet to come.
78. Ye must care for them that are of your fields & look well to your herds & look for any amongst you who also are in this state, who have become weary in well-doing & have no strength to carry on. Ye must strengthen them at this time. Ye must care for them & nourish them, & ye must help them through this time of testing that has come upon them, & yea, that shall come upon all the World.
79. If thou, My son, will hold fast to My Words‚ I will strengthen thee & I will uphold thee, & thou shalt make it through this time of temptation; but many shall not. The choice shall be thine. If thou wilt cling to Me in thy time of need, I will strengthen thee & build up thy armour for the time of battle. Thou shalt have it in the time of need.
80. This one has been faithful to Me—faithful in time of great testing. But he has become weary‚ he has lain down his shield; thus he has lost this battle for himself, yet only for a time. I will restore him & I will strengthen him.
81. In his laying down of his shield, he has laid himself wide open to the attacks of the Enemy. He has opened his mind & listened to the doubts of the Enemy. He has let the Enemy come in & tromp all over him, because he has laid down his shield of faith. But in his time of testing I will strengthen him, I will draw him close to Me. I will answer his every question, & assail & defeat all the doubts of the Enemy, & I will restore him. For he has been faithful. He has been a true soldier of Mine, fighting the good fight of faith‚ & I will reward him & bless him for this.
82. (Techi:) Come unto Me, all ye that labour & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you & learn of Me, for I am meek & lowly in heart & ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy & My burden is light. The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it & are safe.
83. Cast not away thy confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For thou hast need of patience, that after thou hast done the Will of God, thou might receive the promise. Cast all thy cares on Me & I will sustain thee, even though thou mayest feel it is too late or it has been too long & it is too hard to change the circumstances.
84. There have been so many weights & burdens on thy shoulders that have clouded thy thinking & made it hard for thee to see clearly. But it is never too late to be one of My little ones, for I love the simple of the World & those that are weak. I will be thy strength. Fear not to come unto Me with all thy problems & all thy thoughts. Cast all thy care on Me, & I will sustain thee.
85. There is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God, & as I have said, "All things are possible to him that believeth." But many say, "Lord, I believe. Help Thou mine unbelief." For a man must turn to Me for his strength. For strength cometh not from the East, nor from the West, nor from above, nor from below, but only from Me. For I am thy strength & I am thy courage‚ & thou canst not fight on without Me.
86. Pray for this man, that he will turn to Me in his time of need, that he will draw from Me the strength that he needs to be healed, to be strengthened, to be refurbished & refurnished with the gifts from on High‚ with the strength that he has been given over the years. But he cannot go on without Me & My strength‚ so pray for him. He is in great need & he is in great danger, & he needs you & he needs your prayers. But as I have said, if he will just turn to Me‚ I will help & I will strengthen him & I will bring him through this time of trial.
87. I love this one with an everlasting love, for he has been through severe battles, more than the mind can imagine, more than ye can comprehend. But I love him & will be with him, & he knows that. But he needs reassurance of your love for him & your understanding. For he feels like he has failed, & he is in confusion & needs reassurance & his feet placed back upon a Rock.
88. This little one that is with him will be a help to him. But ye must keep a close watch on them & keep in close communication with them. For did I not leave the ninety-&-nine to seek out the one lost sheep? And did I not have to go away from the multitudes to have rest? And did I not have to take My bungling disciples away, as they would not do it on their own? For ye have need of rest, ye have need of patience.
89. For there are many battles ahead‚ much more severe battles, many tests ahead. And some shall fall for their lack of depth in the Word & because of lack of trusting in the Word. But My Army will go on to the End, & there shall be great rejoicing! There shall be crowns! There shall be love & laughter & there shall be joy & happiness! But it will cost, & it will be a fight, it will be a struggle. Ye must look to Me, & not look within yourselves or to Man‚ but only to Me.
90. They that are strong ought to help bear the infirmities of the weak, & go two by two; for they that go two by two have a good reward for their labour. If one shall fall, the other shall help him. But woe be to that man who falleth when he is alone.
91. Go & take thy rest & let no man condemn thee. And have this assurance, that nothing shall separate thee from the Love of God—neither height nor depth, neither battles nor weariness, neither despair. For I am always with thee, & nothing shall separate thee from the Love of God.
92. (Peter:) When thou wast little in thine own sight, I did strengthen thee. But as thou didst hearken unto the voice of Man & the words which they spoke & the thoughts which they implanted in thy mind, it began to cloud the clarity of My voice. It began to shield thy heart from the penetration of My Words. And because of this, it weakened thee & caused thee to be buffeted & to lose some of thy light, which caused thee to turn thy eyes away from the clarity & beauty of My Word. This left thee without the strength to fight the battle that was before thee, causing thee to have to fight in thine own strength & in thine own arm, which wearied thee.
93. For many have fought battles & many have been scourged, but because they looked straight on to Me, they were able to endure. But because thou fought so much in thine own arm & in thine own strength, thou wast weakened physically & mentally & spiritually, until thou wast drained of all thy strength.
94. Take heed, therefore, now that thou hast this time of rest & respite from battle, that thou listeneth not to the words of Man, but to the Words of God. Use this time wisely‚ for besides being a time of rest, it is a time of test.—A test to see if thou wilt soak thyself in the cool & refreshing waters of My Word, to be restrengthened & renewed & to return once again as a strong soldier who is focused & who clearly hears My voice.—Or if thou wilt choose to swim in the murky waters of the System & of Man's words & of distractions that will weaken thee & defeat thee.
95. Take heed, therefore, & hearken unto My Words. Be strengthened in Me & listen not to the voice of Man nor to the voice of thy relatives, who will say that this is the way‚ & that is the way. For I say unto thee, thou shalt hear My voice behind thee saying, "This is the way, walk ye in it." For I have given thee this time of rest & respite, but thou must use it wisely & according to My Will, that I may bless thee & strengthen thee.
96. But I can only feed thee if thou art willing to eat‚ & I can only strengthen thee if thou wilt imbibe My Words, & if thou wilt seek Me & commune with Me. For lo‚ not many have these days as thou hast, to fellowship with Me & to become strengthened. Therefore use them wisely that thou mayest be better for it, & may be strengthened in it, & not weakened in defeat.
97. If one faints in the time of adversity‚ his strength is small. I have allowed this to show thee that thy strength is small; in fact, it is nonexistent without Me‚ for strength cometh from the Lord. If thou desirest to go on & have a place of usefulness in My Kingdom, thou must seek My face & seek My strength. For the branch cannot bear fruit of itself except it abide in the Vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in Me. Thou didst run well, who hath bewitched thee? Whosoever confesseth & forsaketh his sins shall have mercy.
98. If thou hast grievances in thine heart, things that cause thee to waver & look back, thou must confess them & forsake them. Thou must come clean & thou shalt have mercy. Therefore, forget not to communicate, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. Share thy heart, for in My Love there is forgiveness, & I will forgive thee, & the Family will forgive thee. For I love thee, & they love thee.
99. Satan hath desired to have thee, that he may sift thee as wheat; but I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not. Therefore‚ soak in My Word & I will strengthen thee, for I have yet greater things in store for thee, greater than thou canst imagine, if thou wilt but follow My Word & My leading.
100. For thou hast been a needed instrument & thou hast indeed been a blessing, even to thy king & thy queen, & thou hast been a faithful soldier in My Kingdom. Thou hast warded off many attacks of the Enemy‚ many of his fiery darts; but thou hast been wounded & thou art in great need of Me. Thou canst not go on past glories or past strength or even past victories, but thou must come unto Me in thy time of need.
101. Lay thine heart open before Me & I will fill it. For I can strengthen thee & I can lift up thy head & the hands which hang down, & I can restore thy joy—the joy of thy Lord. I can make thee the instrument that I have designed thee to be. But thou must fight, & thou must not yield to the Enemy & thou must not listen to his lies, his unbelief, his doubts & his criticisms, & thou must forsake this present World. There is no discharge in this war; for thou art called to be a soldier.
102. Be not weary in well-doing, for in due season ye shall reap if ye faint not. For have I not begun a work in thee that I will complete? For have I not given thee the experience in this battle that thou wilt have in the future for My use? Thou art My soldier. I have called thee to this Army. Do not desert at this time. Stand strong with Me, for I have need of thee! Hold on to Me & hold on to My Word. Thou needest but to be refilled & refreshed. For now thou wilt be clean through the Word which I have spoken unto thee.—Draw it unto thee & be refreshed.
103. I will have mercy & not sacrifice. Just as this one has become weary in well doing & has cast aside his crown for a while, there are others who battle as he does. This time in My Family, where there are many who have laboured long & faithfully through the years, is a time of understanding, a new time of mercy & love & compassion. For these are the Latter Days‚ & times shall wax worse & worse. But I will use all these things, each & every one of these experiences & ensamples of others, to strengthen thee & encourage thee in the fight & in the times ahead. But I would have mercy & not sacrifice.
Verses & Visions:
104. Several songs came to me for M. First of all, when Peter was giving his prophecy, I got the song, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus‚ look full in His wonderful face, & the things of Earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory & grace."
105. Another one I got was, "Let me live just one more day," & the line that came really strong was, "I have no love to give to Him but the love He gave to me."
106. Then the song, "Sing them over again to me, wonderful Words of life. Let me more of their beauty see, wonderful Words of life. Words of life & beauty, teach me faith & duty. Wonderful Words, beautiful Words, wonderful Words of Life!"
107. And the last song I got was‚ "Bring them in, bring them in, bring them in from the fields of sin. Bring them in‚ bring them in, bring the wandering ones to Jesus. Hark, 'tis the Shepherd's voice I hear, out in the desert dark & drear‚ calling the sheep who have gone astray, far from the Shepherd's fold away." I kept thinking of the chorus, "Bring them in."
108. And I got the following poem, which is also a song:
Say not I do not understand
The fierceness of your fight,
For I was with you many times
In the darkness of your night.
Though you were many miles away
And we were years apart,
I felt oft-times your agony,
The pain within your heart.
Say not you fought the battle grim
In darkness all alone,
For I was with you there in prayer,
Stood by you at the Throne.
With shield of faith & Spirit's sword
I answered at His word,
And came to battle by your side
When first your call I heard.
Say not‚ "'Tis fantasy that one should hear
Such distant cry,"
For we are one in Him we love,
His Spirit draws us nigh.
And oft He whispers to my heart
The call to quickly pray,
So I have reached you there in prayer
Though you are far away.
109. I had two different visions of M. At the very beginning around the time Gary received his prophecy‚ it was a vision of M. like a soldier, but he'd lost his shield. He was very battle-weary, but the Lord put His hand comfortingly on M.'s shoulder, showing that He was with him. Another vision I had was of M. being nestled in Jesus' arms. It was like the story of the sheep who'd had his leg broken, but it happened so that it would result in his following Jesus more closely.
110. I got the verse, "Say not ye there are yet four months & then cometh harvest."—Jn.4:35. It came as kind of a warning for M. not to say, "I have a lot of time to get back on track," but that he's got to make a decision right away to get back on track, otherwise he'll get entangled with the affairs of this World.
111. I got something like that too, that he should not stay longer than the given time. From what we heard‚ he planned to stay for 3 months, & I felt the Lord was telling him not to stay longer than that or delay it for any reason.—To use that time wisely & get refreshed in the Word, but not to overstay.
112. I had a picture of a jockey riding in a steeplechase, the kind of horse race where they jump over hedges & different hurdles. It was at the time that Peter was prophesying & saying something about staying focused. If I understand it right, it is the jockey that tells the horse when to jump, & they can't just let the horse go when he wants. In the vision, it seemed like the jockey lost the focus of the race. There was a hurdle & the horse just stopped in its tracks & the rider fell & was dazed, & that was the end of the vision. The jockey just sat there‚ & it seemed like he needed help to know where to go from there.
113. I had a picture of a nurse changing bandages. The impression was that the nurse was J., & she was like a shepherdess & someone who could be with him & help take care of him closely.
114. (Peter:) I had a picture of a knight or soldier of the olden days; he was standing next to a table & his back was to me. He took this thing like a stone, about the size of your heart, & he laid it down on the table. It was glowing, like it had light, & I could tell it had warmth. I wasn't sure what it was & I was praying about it & asking the Lord, "What is that stone?" I had the impression it was something that you kept in you or with you to keep you warm & give you light, like the Word or the Spirit, & I got the words "Halloween Wheel" (ML#363). I don't remember the Letter real well, but I do remember it had something to do with your anointing & your faith‚ so maybe it would be something good to read. (Note: Mama also got the "Halloween Wheel" when she was praying for M.)
115. The feeling was, don't be without this stone which had heat & light—at least not for very long—because you need it to keep you warm & to show you what to do.
116. I got part of a verse: "Shall doubtless come rejoicing"—but I also got the quote about how discouragement is one of the Devil's favourite tools & the only thing that defeats it is faith. M. has to have faith that the things that are happening in his life are of the Lord & the Lord knows what He's doing. Just like all of us, when we go through trying times, we've got to turn to the Lord & His Word, that's the key.
117. When Peter was giving his prophecy I got the picture of the Letter "Crystal Pyramid"—about the crystals needing to turn towards the pillar, towards the light. (ML #214.)
118. (Peter): I got something from "The Crystal Pyramid" also. The Letter says that you have to face the pillar in order to get the light & to pulsate with the light. If you turn towards the darkness, you still have some light & some strength, but it's not the same. You really can be buffeted unless you turn to face the pillar.
119. I felt that M. needs to make sure he turns to face the pillar & he doesn't try to face the darkness. I don't know if it's so much because of the position he's in now, that he should be sure he's facing the pillar of the Family, the Light, the Truth; or if that is what happened to him, that he tried to turn & face the darkness & fight the darkness on his own‚ & therefore he was buffeted because he wasn't pulsating with the light & probably because he wasn't in the Word enough, & perhaps even having a hard time believing some of the Word because of all the other attacks on the Word & on his faith.
120. When we first started praying, that same Letter, "Crystal Pyramid" came to mind‚ & that M. had somehow turned away from the Light.
121. I also got the verse, "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus."—Rom 8:1.
122. When the prophecy was being given about M. needing to be refurbished & strengthened with the strength that he has been given over the years‚ I got the words, "the heritage of the Word" & the words "remove not the ancient landmark," meaning the Word. Also‚ when the prophecy was being given that talked about M. being wounded in the battle, I got a verse that we usually claim & apply to physical healing, but I got it for the healing of his spiritual wounds from the battle: "I will restore health unto thee, & I will heal thee of thy wounds."—Jer.30:17.
Prayer & Prophecies for J.:
123. (Prayer: ) Thank You Jesus for J. You said that if we train up our children in the way they should go, they won't depart from the way. She's certainly been trained for many many years now in Your Word & Your way of life, the life of faith & trust & loving You & helping others. So we pray, Jesus, that You'll speak to us with any direction or counsel or encouragement, anything that will be a blessing & help to her in the situation that she's now in.
124. We don't know all the details, but we know You've chosen her to go for one reason or another to be with M. So we just pray that we can hear from You clearly something that might be an encouragement to her or both of them, & a help to them, any direction that they might need. She's always been a very sweet girl, so we pray that You will punch through & give us something for her that will help her, in Jesus' name.
125. Lift up the hands which hang down & the feeble knees, & make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way. The gifts & calling of God are without repentance. Thou hast been called, chosen & faithful. It is not good that a man should be alone, for if one falls he has not another to help him. This one needs thee. He is wounded in battle & needs strength. He needs encouragement & he needs love. Thou hast been called to the Kingdom for such a time as this. Give, seeking nothing in return, knowing that thy Father in Heaven shall reward thee; for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. Many eyes of My children will be upon thee, & thou art responsible.
126. (Peter:) As the nurse heals the wounds of the flesh, so thou must help to heal the wounds of the spirit. For thou art called & chosen for this task, & all that I have poured into thee will give strength unto thee at this time as thou strengtheneth another. For though thou art small in thine own eyes, I have chosen thee as the small link that will help hold the larger link to the overall chain. My hand will strengthen thee, & thou must in turn be a blessing & a help & a strength to this one who is wounded in spirit.
127. As the nurse sops the wounds with medication & bandages, so thou must help sop the wounds of the spirit through My Word & through love & through understanding. But as the nurse who works around those that are sick runs the risk of coming down with the same disease‚ so dost thou. Therefore thou must take the antidote, which is a good dose of My Word daily.
128. Thou must believe in thine heart all the Words of David, that thou canst help this one who is wounded & is sore lacking. But if thou wilt look unto Me & face My Light, I will give thee the strength to help care for & nurture this sick & wounded one, that thou mayest help to bring him back to life, & in so doing, strengthen him & make him useful once again for My service.
129. As a mother is to the child in helping to grow & strengthen & feed, so is this calling that I have given unto thee to help strengthen this one & help him to feed. As a mother holds & loves one who is hurt or wounded, so must thou hold this one & love him & encourage him. And as a mother shows the young one where he has gone wrong or has made wrong decisions or has been thinking the wrong way, as a teacher thou must lead this one to the Word to show him the areas in which he is thinking wrong or is coming to wrong conclusions. As a student grows & becomes the teacher, so is it in this case, that all that thou hast learned through thy many years of growing up serving Me will I use as a strength & help for him that is wounded.
130. As thy mother before thee, I have called thee to be a servant to many. It is a very difficult calling, a calling of great sacrifice & love. Thou must seek Me & My strength, for thy strength is little. But with Me thy strength shall be great & thou shalt be mightily used to help many. Be not weary in well-doing, for in due season ye shall reap if ye faint not. I will be with thee & I will strengthen thee, & I will help thee to overcome the many obstacles that thou shalt face. And there shall be a glorious resurrection & a testimony of My strength & My help & the courage that comes from looking to Me & depending on Me. Lean hard on Me, & I will bring thee through this time of trial.
131. (Gary: ) I got the verse, "It is not good for Man to be alone," but the way it came to me was: "It is not good for M. to be alone." Also the verses, "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."—Ecc.4:9‚10.
132. I got the verse, "Let no man despise thy youth," & the quote that spiritual maturity is not in years, but in desperation with the Lord. I also got the story from the Book of Matthew when Jesus came out of the wilderness after He'd been tempted of the Devil, & Angels came & ministered unto Him—that J. was fulfilling that role of a ministering angel. (Mat.4:11.)
133. I got the verse‚ "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."—Heb.13:16. I also got that Mama's "Victory" Tape & "Comfort" Tape would be a part of the healing.
134. (Peter:) I thought of Proverbs 31 about the "virtuous woman" & what a blessing she can be. I also got the verse, "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, & love the other; or else he will hold to the one, & despise the other. Ye cannot serve God & mammon."—Mat.6:24.—That J. has to realise she's there serving the Lord, & in the end she's got to be there for the Lord, knowing she's doing a job for the Lord. Overall her love for the Lord has to come first.
135. I got a picture of Jesus with a little sheep cuddled up close to Him, which was J. There was a ram with a collar & bell, which was M., who was off the path which led straight ahead. The ram was off the path heading to the right. The little sheep ran off to follow after the ram‚ & the feeling wasn't that she was forsaking the Lord, but just that she was going after M. As she came to his side, they kept going‚ & slowly started heading back to the left on to the path that was going straight ahead.
136. (Peter:) I got a picture of the chain that was in my prophecy. (See paragraph 126.) It was a really big chain, like the chain from the anchor to a battleship, & at one place there was a smaller link. It was also big, but much smaller than the others it was linked to. It seemed like the smaller link was temporarily holding the two ends of the chain together, while it was being repaired. I got it as J. helping to keep M. connected.
ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOUNG LEADERS TO KEEP FIGHTING!
137. (After receiving letters from three of our dear YAs & one of our senior teens who were on the Teamworks of two Homes in Europe‚ I wrote the following letter. These young people, who were experiencing the demands of shepherding large combos, were quite concerned that it seemed that the folks in their Homes had lost their drive, initiative, desire to help others‚ & were also overly dependent upon their YA Teamworkers for counsel & direction.)
From Mama, 6/94:
Dear E., J., K. & T.,
138. It was with mixed feelings that I read your letters.—On the one hand, with a very deep happiness to see your dedication, wisdom, maturity & determination to fight for God's Work & His Family; and on the other hand, with a great sadness that you are being faced with problems of such magnitude!—Some of the same problems that our entire Family leadership are having to get desperate with the Lord to find solutions to!
139. The problems are very great, but we know that the Lord has solutions.—So we encourage you to hold on & not give up. Keep fighting! It's too much for you, but it's not too much for Him! You'll collapse with the load unless you let Him carry it. You'll be eaten away with frustration & anger unless you just relax & rest in Him, & know that whatever victories are won, He is going to have to win them!
140. When it looks like you're not accomplishing anything, & everything you say is going in one ear & out the other & you see no results, remember some of the dear missionaries who laboured in fields for years never seeing any fruit at all, not even one soul!—But finally ... the reward came!
141. Perhaps teaching them humility, patience, peace & love during those years was more important to the Lord than having them see the fruits of their labours. Perhaps seeing them be made into strong fighters who refused to give up was more valuable to the Lord than quick results! Perhaps seeing the hours & days they wept & cried in frustration, heartache & loneliness was more precious to the Lord‚ & did more to bring out the sweetness & yieldedness in their lives than if they had seen their desires materialise. Maybe molding them was more important to the Lord at the time than saving souls.
142. Can you see that? Can you see how likewise with you girls the Lord may be testing & trying you & molding you into strong fighters & mature leaders in the face of these seemingly insurmountable difficulties?—Having put you in this place where you cannot depend upon your own strength, because it's not enough; where you can't depend on your experience, because it's insufficient. You can't even depend upon some folks to be true to Family principles.
143. Everything just seems derailed & disoriented & nothing seems the way it should be. Everything around you seems to have gone haywire, nothing seems to work right. You even question Family standards & the very foundation upon which your lives have been built. Can you see how the Lord loves you so much that He has put you in this very difficult place?—In the furnace of affliction—so that He can make you into the vessels that He wants you to be, & prepare you for an even greater work ahead.
144. I cry for you & for our young people. I'm very sad that some of our folks have given up the fight & that you young ones must take their place. It's a very serious responsibility & can be a very heavy burden—unless you let the Lord carry it. But He can carry it & He can carry you & lift you up in His arms & give you peace in the midst of frustration, discouragement‚ anger & sadness. Let Him wipe away your tears, soothe your troubled spirits, & calm the turmoil of your minds. It's enough for Him that you do what you can do & leave the rest to Him.
145. I know it is a temptation to say, "We're doing our part; but it doesn't look like He is doing His!" That's because we don't see things the way He sees them or know what He knows. His schedule isn't our schedule, & His ways are not our ways. "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage & He will strengthen your hearts." He will bring it to pass, & what He has promised He will perform. (Psa.27:14, 37:5; Rom.4:21.)
146. God bless you, girls! I know He is! This is a rough grade, but you'll get through it & you'll graduate. It won't last longer than He knows is necessary & then He'll give you your promotions!—If you won't give up, but will just keep fighting!
Love,
Mama
THANK YOU FOR BEING HIS INSTRUMENT OF LOVE!
147. (Mama's reply to a letter Solomon ["Uncle Jim"] wrote about his trip to England, where he gave testimony in Pearl's case & was involved in helping both our Family teens as well as some of our backslidden teens. The problems he mentions in the local work have now largely been rectified, thank the Lord.)
From Mama‚ 3/94
Dear Solomon,
148. God bless you! I love you! I consider that you've been a great blessing there in England in every way, & only the Lord knows what great effect your loving contact with our backslidden teens will have in their lives. I'm so thankful that these kids have been able to see a good sample in you of God's Love & concern for them. Some of them went through some pretty difficult times in the Family & were very disappointed & disillusioned because of some bad examples, so I'm very thankful you've been able to counteract to some extent the bad samples with your good sample. At least those kids will know, through your love‚ which is the Lord's Love‚ that any bad experiences they had that were caused by unloving or insensitive adults are not representative of the Family as a whole, & they shouldn't blame the entire Family for what they may have experienced at the hands of a few.
149. I don't believe that all of them have such "good excuses." Some of them were in good situations & had great love & care extended to them, & everything possible was done to try to help them. However‚ we know that some of our teens did get the "raw end of the deal," & need the reassurance that the Family is not in agreement with this kind of behaviour. No matter what their reason is for leaving the Family, they still need to know that the Lord is married to the backslider & He loves them & cares for them, & continues to reach out to them. Thank you for being His instrument of Love to them.
150. I guess each one of us feels that we never do enough. There is always so much to do & we all wish we could multiply ourselves many times over, but we have to just do what we can do & not let ourselves be condemned for what we can't do.
151. There are so many things we would like you to do too, but you can only do one thing at a time & we have to choose which is top priority. Obviously the Lord chose your present job in England & placed you there not only to testify on the stand, as you did so well, anointed by the Spirit, but to bring you in contact with not only our Family teens but our backslidden teens‚ both of whom you have been able to be a big blessing to.
152. To a certain extent, Solomon, your lack of satisfaction at the extent of your accomplishments may be of the Lord, to help you want to do more. However, if it keeps you in a state of continual condemnation & discontent, I'd say that what may begin as a feeling that the Lord puts in your heart might eventually be used by the Enemy to make you feel down & discouraged. So perhaps it is the wise use of these feelings that the Lord puts in your heart that can make them work for you & not hinder you—not let the Devil grab on to them & try to defeat you through them.
153. I do believe that there are quite a few problems in the Homes in England, in part because they have been fearful of standing up for their convictions, & this, of course, has to be corrected in their hearts & in their attitudes, so they probably don't witness as much as they should. And there may be quite a few other things that they need to rectify. But I believe through the good samples that they see in their leadership‚ including yourself, this will begin to change. And through the efforts of our dear EURCRO team who are loving, caring Shepherds, the weaknesses will be strengthened & the problems will be rectified. The Lord has given beautiful promises of encouragement to them about what He is going to do in Europe as they follow & obey. (Update: Our British Homes are doing much better, thank the Lord!)
154. I love you very much, Solomon. Thanks for keeping in touch. I value any observations you may have, so please keep them coming. Thanks!
Lots of love,
Mama
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