Dad
April 24, 2003
11/79DO 2458
(Introduction by Sara from "The Truth Revolution!", TSOOC 90:)
IN MID-NOVEMBER DAD WARNED US ONCE AGAIN, "BETTER MAKE SURE THOSE NEWCOMERS KNOW THAT THEY HAVE TO REALLY TOE THE LINE & really prove themselves!" Dad considered maybe keeping Liz & perhaps one child with us, but he was not going to allow some devil around at the top! "Be sure you get a daily report from her on him about any grilling, any questions, any derogatory comments he may make."
DAD WAS ALSO FURIOUS THAT DON HAD BRAGGED ABOUT BEING AN EXPERT BODY MECHANIC, BUT HE HAD NEVER YET PROVEN IT, but to the contrary had done nothing but openly COMPLAIN about the car that Dad had offered them as a gift when they very first came! Don admitted he did not have the faith to even drive the car, as he thought it would fall apart because of problems with a rusted bottom. Dad eventually suggested that if he didn't like the car to trade it or sell it, but Don did neither! "It's hard to put faith in anybody that they're gonna make it when they have not yet proven themselves," Dad said.
THE FOLKS THEN HAD LIZ HEAR THE TAPES OF DAD'S TALK ABOUT THEIR TEAM (the Letter which follows) so that she would see the seriousness of their situation & be praying about a choice up ahead‚ as it looked at this time that perhaps she might stay on with us & the others move on to another field. Liz had a dream that night that she escaped from a murderer! We made it clear, as the tape requested‚ to both Don & Liz very nicely, that in order to get really rolling & work with us, they'd have to put in hours 8 AM to 5 PM daily, which is at least what everyone else did, & suggested that Don work harder on his car to prove that he's the body mechanic that he boasted to be. They were all three to make hourly work reports & no more DRINKING. Jill seemed totally in agreement, as did Liz, to every condition the Folks laid down, but whenever it came to the crunch, which was nightly in their own caravan behind their own closed door, they had nothing but full-time trials with Don!
(Dad's talk:)
1. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE HATCHET MAN! I'm usually the end of the road for these tough cases! By the time God brings it to us & it takes up my time & attention, that usually means the END! That's God's last mercy, their last chance to change before the judgements begin to fall. I'm like a father, a parent‚ & I begin to chastise & lay on the whip of chastening‚ & if OUR chastening doesn't do any good, then we just have to turn them over to the LORD & let Him finish it off—& that usually gets pretty ROUGH!
2. He [God] usually starts taking the things away from them which they idolise & commit idolatry with—like his wife or his own God-damned ego, pride, selfishness, hypocrisy & jealousy! As I said before, it's a rule of the Family we made long ago that any man who uses violence on his wife deserves to be immediately kicked out of the Family & out of the Home until he shows very‚ very great repentance & brings forth FRUITS meet for repentance!—Mat.3:8. (Maria: Or if he can't be kicked out‚ the wife should LEAVE him.)—Separate them, right.
3. BUT FIRST WE'LL GIVE THEM A CHANCE! We'll start putting the pressure on & quit petting & pampering them & indulging in their tantrums. He's got her totally intimidated, scared to death of him, but I want to tell you, he'd better start getting scared of ME!
4. NOTHING INFURIATES ME LIKE A GUY THAT USES VIOLENCE ON A POOR LITTLE DEFENSELESS WOMAN LIKE THAT, the mother of his three children!—Not once‚ but numbers of times! Think of it! He beat her up‚ leaving her black-&-blue & with a black eye one time! He's insane with jealousy & pride!
5. SO HE'S COME TO THE END OF GOD'S MERCY & OURS & THIS IS HIS LAST STOP! If he doesn't respond to treatment HERE, he's FINISHED! We'll turn him over to God, & God knows how to do it, like He did with Rachel! So just put the pressure on & make him really toe the line, enforce strict obedience, exactly what we tell him to do!
6. I WANT A DAILY REPORT FROM HIM OF EXACTLY WHAT HE ACCOMPLISHES HOUR-BY-HOUR!—Beginning at 8 o'clock, & going from either 8-5 or 9-6. If he wants to do it the Mediterranean way & take his 2-hour siesta, then he's gotta work from 8-noon & 2-6. If he can't work as hard or harder for GOD than he did for the DEVIL, then we don't want him!
7. I'M SICK & FED UP WITH THE WAY SHE'S BEEN PAMPERING HIM & CATERING TO HIS TANTRUMS! He's got both of those women scared stiff of even slightly offending him or hurting his feelings. I've seen very few redheads that weren't God–damned sensitive‚ going around with a chip on their shoulders just daring you to knock it off! They are about the proudest people you'd ever want to know! There may be some exceptions, but I very seldom met any.
8. HE'S A DANDY BAD EXAMPLE & HAS BEEN, APPARENTLY, FOR A LONG TIME! Too bad we never got any reports from anybody else about them, instead of his own glowing reports! (Maria: He must have covered it up so well that only Liz knew, & she didn't tell!) Well, this is the end of the line! But even if it endangers our security‚ we've got to give them one last chance. Put the pressure on so when he goes he'll know that God has given him every opportunity.—Like Adam & Eve in the Garden, he's had every chance, & he's muffed the whole thing & he's going on his own.
9. I WANT YOU TO PUT HIM TO WORK, & I MEAN HARD WORK! You should have seen him boasting & bragging about what a great body man he was & mechanic & everything. Well, now's his chance to SHOW it! God's given him about the worst kind of auto body he could possibly work on‚ let's see what he can do with it. The Lord's been awfully good to him to GIVE it to him, & for him to start complaining about it is really ungrateful!
10. I TOLD HIM RIGHT IN THE VAN, "YOU'D BETTER NOT LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH, BUDDY!" And he kind of quick covered-up & apologised. I told him that if he wanted to have something else he could go out & trade it in & buy it, he's got enough money left to do it, but I notice he didn't.
11. TELL HIM DAD WANTS HIM TO WORK EIGHT HOURS A DAY ON THAT TRAILER & CAR‚ & then any time anybody has to go out there, I want them to check on him & see what he's accomplished. And you'd better warn him he'd better take it easy on the wine or he won't be able to get his work done. Tell him we're going to have people coming out there checking on him to see how he's doing. o
12. TELL HIM DAD MIGHT DROP BY HIMSELF TO TAKE A LOOK & SEE HOW HE'S DOING! Of course, some of these problem children WANT that to happen‚ they love to be problem children & take up your time! (Maria: Yes, he was so talkative the other night in the van, when he started talking about his trailer you could hardly get a word in edgeways.) That's how they cover. They feel it's safer for them to be doing the talking than you!
13. IF LIZ HAS ANY TROUBLE‚ IF HE'S DRINKING TOO MUCH, I THINK SHE OUGHT TO REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY. These are ORDERS you should give her! If he even THREATENS violence, throws one of his insane tantrums or drinks too much, she's to report it. Failure to REPORT a crime IS a crime‚ & you tell her so!
14. SHE'S COVERED FOR HIM TOO LONG & SHE'S ENDANGERED THE WHOLE WORK & OUR SECURITY BY BRINGING HIM HERE RIGHT INTO OUR MIDST in that condition without giving us any forewarning whatsoever! She's on probation too & it depends on how she handles the situation as to whether we can even use her—unless she levels with us & reports every little move, every change of attitude, anything she knows at all that we'd be displeased with.—Daily!
15. IF HE STEPS THE LEAST BIT OUT OF LINE OR SAYS THE LEAST THING OUT OF LINE, I WANT IT REPORTED RIGHT AWAY! And if she doesn't report it, you tell her God is going to hold HER responsible & God is going to show it to me. We'll know whether she's being honest with us & levelling with us or not! And God will not give her another chance, this is her last chance!
16. IT WILL BE LIKE THE ARMY NOW, TOE THE LINE, & BE ON HIS BEST BEHAVIOUR & SHOW REAL REPENTANCE! And we're not going to tell him why or expose her so that he'll have another excuse to tromp on her! These are perfectly reasonable requests—or you can tell him ORDERS if he doesn't take the request idea—that for security reasons some of us are going to have to move away, probably them, & he's gotta get his trailer & car fixed up as fast as he can.
17. IF HE SHOWS GREAT REPENTANCE & MAKES HIMSELF SO USEFUL HE'S INDISPENSIBLE & we can't do without him, there is a possibility we might consider letting him stay. But under the circumstances, he's going to have to really show some repentance! Usually you have to give them time out & away to produce works meet for repentance before you can dare take a chance on taking them back again.
18. LIZ HAS COVERED FOR HIM TOO LONG & IT HAS NOT DONE HIM ANY GOOD! Pampering him & humoring his tantrums & fits of jealousy & his violence has certainly not helped him. It might have saved her a few more beatings, but it certainly hasn't helped HIM any! So even for her own safekeeping, we're gonna keep her at the house‚ & because we need her help with the housekeeping & all.
19. THE BEST THING HE CAN DO, since he's such a tremendous terrific mechanic & body man & all that he said he was, is to DEMONSTRATE it on that car & his trailer! After all, it's his own stuff, he ought to be able to work hard on it & get it in top–notch shape, & he is to pay those expenses out of his money. We'll take care of his trailer rent & his room & board while they're here, which I think is sufficient, & then we will wait & see how well he takes hard work & discipline & obedience & particularly as much separation from her as possible.
20. WE'LL SEE HOW HE RESPONDS & GETS ALONG & HOW SHE GETS ALONG—& HOW HONEST & OPEN SHE IS IN CONSTANTLY REPORTING EVERY DAY. I want a daily report from her to you about everything he did last night: How did he treat her? How did he treat the kids?—A complete report!
21. SHE'S COVERED FOR HIM TOO LONG, NOW SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR IT BY REPORTING EVERYTHING—every look, every word! God's Word says we'll have to give an account of every deed done in the body & every idle word!—2Cor.5:10; Mat.12:36. So any words he utters that aren't necessary are idle words! He has no right to grill her & demand explanations or to get any kind of report from her whatsoever from now on!
22. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN TO REVEAL ANY KIND OF GOINGS-ON AT OUR HOUSE or any kind of instructions we have given her, any kind of revelations she's given us, & she's forbidden to tell him that she's reporting on him to us! It would only cause her trouble anyhow. It's better that she doesn't tell him anything & he doesn't know, even if he gets MAD that she doesn't tell him anything.
23. WE'RE NOT ASKING ANYTHING UNREASONABLE OF HER IN REPORTING, SHE'S MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME. We're not asking anything unreasonable from her in the way of WORK, that's what she's here for. We're not asking anything unreasonable in the way of SEPARATION, nearly all husbands & wives are separated in the daytime while the husband's away at work‚ or the wife, or both. They've both got jobs & I want to see them do'm! And they're not to have any complaints, either one of them‚ about being separated. They can be thankful they're able to be together at night & on the weekends.
24. I THINK MAYBE SINCE IT'S AN EMERGENCY, WE OUGHT TO PUT THE PRESSURE ON & NOT REQUIRE 5-1/2 DAYS OF WORK A WEEK, BUT 6 DAYS OF WORK A WEEK! The less time she spends with him, the better for her & the better for him. So Saturday will be just like any other day of the week, but she can go out to the campground on Saturday night & they can spend all day Sunday together, & I suggest you folks do the same!—So you can keep an eye on them‚ particularly his behaviour & treatment of her. Because that's apt to be the time when he's not working‚ & idleness is the Devil's workshop!
25. IF HE GETS TO DRINKING & ABUSING HER, & you can't put a stop to it by warning him & scolding him or whatever it takes‚ then call us & we'll have Peter come & help you deal with him. And if we have much more trouble with him, that's it, we have had it, period, & we will simply cut him off completely! If he refuses to obey, if he complains about it, if he has any further murmuring or tantrums, any further torture of her‚ any problems whatsoever, then he forfeits his privileges of coming to the house at all, & he's FIRED as far as I'm concerned, he's finished, right where he sits, & he can take care of himself & his own family from then on! The only one that we will offer to assume responsibility for at all will be the useful one & the one that behaves herself—that is, if she wants to stay. And if she wants to go with him, praise God!
26. (MARIA: I THINK SHE NEEDS TO BE TOLD OR CONVINCED THAT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS ISN'T HER FAULT!) Yes, he's really got her buffaloed & convinced! He's persuaded her all these years it's all her fault & she's to blame & she's got all the faults & he's the little god who's done nothing wrong, & that she even deserves his beatings & blah, blah, blah!
27. WELL, SHE'D BETTER SNAP OUT OF THAT REAL FAST & WAKE UP TO THE FACT THAT SHE WAS RIGHT & HE WAS WRONG!—And she has been wrong by TOLERATING it, putting up with it, indulging in it, pampering him in it & letting him get away with it!—And particularly covering up for him & not telling US about it!
28. SHE OWES HIM NO FURTHER LOYALTY! He has forfeited his rights & privileges, he's forfeited her allegiance, the whole works, by the way he's treated her, & she doesn't owe him any further loyalty except love in the Lord. And if she is speaking the truth & she means it, that she realises her first loyalty is to the Lord & His Work & us, then I want her to PROVE it! I want her to start right now, & her first confession on paper was a good start. Praise God! She needs to open up, she's been closed up too long. She's been just like his prisoner!
29. SO SHE SHOULD SHOW UP BRIGHT & EARLY ON MONDAY MORNING ON THE BUS! They don't have to have a car bringing them back & forth all the time. He doesn't have any car out there but that second-hand diesel & he will have NO transportation unless he gets it rollin'! And any repairs or whatever he does with that car is up to HIM. It's his car, we gave it to him as a gift, & I think that was quite a gift! It cost us $2,000, & some repairs since then, so he should be very thankful. And if he doesn't like it, he can trade it in & get something else. He's got enough money to get something he likes better.
30. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE GIFT HORSE OR ABOUT ITS BAD TEETH! That's where the old adage "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" comes from! You tell a horse's age by its teeth & its physical condition. So here you give somebody a horse & they start looking in its mouth & telling you‚ "Well, it's pretty old & it's pretty decrepit & it's got some bad teeth!" What do people think of GIFTS, anyhow?
31. THEY BROUGHT THEMSELVES OVER HERE—THEY WANTED TO COME & WE OFFERED THEM THE OPPORTUNITY—NOW LET'S SEE WHAT THEY DO WITH IT! And if they take themselves out of it, then it's their responsibility what they do from there on. If he doesn't respond to treatment & obey & show a good attitude & behave himself‚ he'll have to go, & if she doesn't keep honest & leveling with us & reporting constantly on his behaviour & attitude, then she'll have to go with him!
32. BUT IF SHE DOES & SHE STAYS HONEST, THEN SHE'LL HAVE A CHANCE TO STAY REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM. She'll be welcome if she shows the proper attitude & she shows where her loyalties are, first to God & His Work & us, & last of all to her husband! That's spelled out time & time again in the Letters, particularly in "One Wife" & a few others, & I suggest she read some of those over again, particularly those references we made about VIOLENCE!
33. WE SAID BEFORE THAT IF ANYBODY FAILED TO REPORT A CRIME, IT WAS A CRIME! She's been committing CRIMES by failing to report HIS crimes, & she's absolutely guilty for covering for him. Well, now she's going to have to redeem herself, because she has endangered us, God's Work, & my personal security by letting him come here in that condition. The only thing I can think of is that it was the mercy of God to try to salvage her—& maybe him, I don't know, it depends on what happens.
34. YOU CAN GIVE PEOPLE MERCY ON A FEW MISTAKES & A FEW LITTLE THINGS, but if he continues in the same behaviour‚ in the same attitude & the same treatment of her & grilling of her & giving her the third degree‚ wanting to know everything that happened & what she's been telling us & blah, blah, she should just tell him that what happens between her & us & at the house is none of his business! It is her job & her work & we have given her absolute instructions & forbidden her to report ANYTHING from the house whatsoever.
35. AND SHE MUST REMAIN LOYAL TO THE LORD & HIS WORK & US & THESE INSTRUCTIONS & KEEP THEM TO THE TEE, NOT COVERING-UP FOR HIM OR HIDING ANYTHING AGAIN! Let me tell you, God is faithful‚ it always comes out! "Be sure your sins will find you out!"—Num.32:23. I sense it in the Spirit, I know it's happening somehow even if I haven't got a thing to show it to me! If you're not in harmony & right with the Lord & something's wrong with your spirit‚ the Lord shows me‚ I'll sense it & we'll know it!
36. IF SHE TOES THE LINE & OBEYS ALL OF THESE INSTRUCTIONS & KEEPS A CAREFUL WATCH ON HIM & REPORTS FAITHFULLY, & proves herself very worthwhile & useful & dependable & faithful & helpful & a real blessing to the Home‚ then we will definitely consider keeping her. Then she will have to consider—depending on what's happened to him—whether she wants to stay without him or not, in case he doesn't make it.
37. GOD'S GIVING THEM THEIR LAST CHANCE WITH US AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. If people couldn't work with US, we've very seldom found that they've ever been able to make it any place ELSE! But we'll just hope that they're going to learn their lesson & maybe they'll both make it!
38. AND HELPING HIM MAKE IT IS NOT COVERING FOR HIM! Deceiving us or lying to us or not reporting to us is not helping him make it! To report to us everything he does & says & his attitude & his looks & everything else, that's now what she owes us for having failed to tell us for the past three years!
39. IF HE DOESN'T MAKE IT, THEN HE'S CUT OFF & HE DOESN'T COME TO THE HOUSE ANY MORE. Even if she's working there, he's forbidden to come there. That's our property & it will be off-limits to him. He'll have to stay out at his trailer & do something else. If she wants to still go out there & live with him, even if he doesn't work out, we might consider a compromise where she could stay with him at night.
40. BUT IF THEY LIVE ON THE OUTSIDE & THEY'VE LEFT THE LORD'S WORK, HOW CAN YOU BE UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER WITH UNBELIEVERS?—2Cor.6:14. He may be saved, but he's an unbeliever as far as obedience & loyalty & all the rest is concerned if he doesn't work out. If he doesn't make it, I never found that the husband could hang around very much without being a troublemaker. She has to know the price that if he goes & they are separated, it means COMPLETE separation.
41. IT MAY SEEM EXTREME OR HARSH TO SOME, BUT THAT'S THE WAY THE LORD DOES THINGS IF PEOPLE DON'T WORK OUT, that he's divorced completely & he takes those children & she keeps one, whichever one she wants.
42. WE'LL JUST LOOK TO THE LORD AS TO HOW LONG THIS GRACE PERIOD IS GONNA LAST, & it will depend a great deal on them & their response & their attitude & his improvement, or dis-improvement. When it gets to the point that I have to take my valuable precious time to deal with somebody who is supposed to be a HELP‚ but instead of that has become a hindrance & a problem case & an actual security hazard, then it's time for me to start getting TOUGH!
43. I'M USUALLY PRETTY SOFT & A PUSHOVER WITH SOME THINGS & SOME PEOPLE‚ but when they get to the point he's gotten to, where he's a real problem & a constant source of anguish & fear & trouble & everything else, & I have to take my time to sit here for an hour & make a tape, & hours reading reports & discussing it, then it's too much!
44. IF SHE GETS FED-UP WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR & HE GETS ROUGH & IN A BAD TEMPER AGAIN, I SUGGEST SHE STAYS AT THE HOUSE TO TEACH HIM A LESSON! Any time she wants to stay at the house overnight she is WELCOME to! Or any time you think she SHOULD stay at the house—considering his condition or his attitude or there might be some danger to her—then I suggest you recommend to her that she stay at the house.
45. OUR SUGGESTIONS REALLY ARE ORDERS! The king's wish is their command, & you are my officer telling them my wish, so if they don't take the suggestions & they continually insist on their own way, or even if she thinks she ought to go anyhow, well‚ we'll see whether she's going to work out or not.
46. I THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TELL WHERE HER LOYALTY IS VERY SOON & whether she is going to respond to the treatment & continue to be loyal to him or to us. Because if HE is not loyal to us, SHE can't be loyal to him & us both. "You cannot serve two masters! You're either going to hate the one & love the other‚ or love the one & hate the other."—Mat.6:24. You cannot have a divided heart & a divided mind, you have to be single-eyed & single-hearted. Anybody that wavers between the two, God's Word says, "Let not that man think that he shall receive ANYTHING of the Lord! For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea when it's tossed."—Jam.1:6,7. We shall see! Let's hope for the best!
47. NOW LORD, IN JESUS' NAME, WE ASK THEE TO HELP IN THIS VERY SERIOUS SITUATION THAT HAS REQUIRED SO MUCH OF OUR ATTENTION & TIME & CONCERN & literally endangered our security! We ask Thee to give these officers of ours wisdom in handling this problem case. It's been a problem for years‚ but has just now come to our attention because it had to. They're both problem cases in a way, Lord, because she failed in her duty to be loyal to You & the Work & us by not REVEALING his horrible condition. So we ask You, Lord, in Jesus' name to give her the faith & the love for You & Your Work & us, the loyalty & the honesty to level with us & reveal EVERYTHING from now on to make up for her past failures & her past criminal cover-up! In Jesus' name‚ amen.
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family