Dad
April 7, 2003
DFO 1313 Compiled May 1980
1. ONE WAY TO GET YOUR OXYGEN IS TO DRINK IT! Water is full of it! A nice glass of water will help wake you up because it supplies your bloodstream with oxygen. It's when your bloodstream is starved for oxygen that you get sleepy!—But sooner or later you've got to get sleepy and get some rest—you can't keep going too strong too long.
2. YOU CAN DRINK WATER WITH A LITTLE RUST IN IT—in fact, it's good for you. If you cook with iron pots and skillets you'll never need to take iron pills—all you need comes in the food you cook in iron pots!
3. DID YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT FAT, even of clean animals‚ according to the Bible? (Maria: Why does the Bible always talk about the "fat of lambs"?) That was the part they burned as an offering to the Lord—just God's smart idea of how to get rid of the part you shouldn't eat! If they burned it, they couldn't eat it! If an animal has a disease, it's usually in its fat!
4. THE WINTERTIME IS WHEN YOU NEED VITAMIN C THE MOST TO RESIST COLDS, and that's when the Lord grows the oranges; it's a winter fruit! My grandfather used to say he believed God made the right kinds of fruits and vegetables for every place for every season.—If you'd eat whatever the local things were in that particular climate in that season, you'd stay healthy!
5. IF BEN FRANKLIN'S OLD ADAGE, EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise, I must be the sickest, poorest, most ignorant man in the world!
6. MAKE SURE WHEN YOU ASK FOR LIVER YOU ASK FOR EITHER COW'S OR CALF'S LIVER and that you don't buy pig's liver! It's bad enough to eat pig without eating pig liver!
7. EXCUSE ME FOR LEANING ON THE TABLE, but I'm tired! My mother said it was all right after you eat, but not while you're eating. I'm so glad I don't belong to the System anymore and don't have to keep all those rules! Well, a lot of them were pretty nice rules, though, to try to make eating a little bit more of a better–looking operation.
8. HICCOUGHS IS AN INDIGESTION SPASM TO GET GAS OFF YOUR STOMACH. There's not enough liquid in your stomach, so you need to drink a glass of water straight down‚ and this raises the gas in bubbles. Wine helps cure the cause. One pope even died of hiccoughs!
9. SO YOU WANT TO REDUCE AND LOSE WEIGHT?—One way to do it is stop eating so much and get more exercise! Go jogging everyday.
10. IT'S BEST NOT TO EAT WHEN YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY. I can go a long time without eating but usually I now have a little snack before bed to keep me from getting hungry during the night. Then I only have to have a little sip of wine when I wake up in the night.
11. IT'S BAD TO SWALLOW PHLEGM and the germs you cough up with a cold. It can cause more sickness and poison your body. Your body's trying to get rid of them, so it's better just to cough it up and spit it out!
12. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PUTTING TUMBLERS ON THE SHELF UPSIDE-DOWN‚ and that's about the most unsanitary thing you can do! In the first place‚ the shelf has probably been sprayed with ant spray or something and you're putting the mouth of the glass right on top of it!
13. IN THE SECOND PLACE, IT GETS NO AIR INSIDE THE GLASS so the glass is a perfect habitat for germs and breeds cultures.—And no matter how clean the glass is washed and rinsed, I dare you after it's been sitting on the shelf upside-down all day, to pick it up and smell it!
14. RACKS THAT HAVE AIR BENEATH THEM ARE DIFFERENT. I'm just saying‚ don't ever put glasses on solid shelves upside–down! And yet that's the way nearly all the restaurants and everybody stores them!
15. HERE'S AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT KNIVES SHOULD NOT BE USED
FOR—to open tin cans and for bottle openers! He that is faithful in the small things will be faithful in big things! But if you bend knives like that‚ God's not going to trust you with something more important. Even the handle of a spoon or the tongs of a fork are stronger than the tip of a knife. So try to take care of your materials!
16. MY MOTHER ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO STIR MY TEA WITHOUT BANGING THE SIDE OF THE CUP,—Maybe that's why I enjoy so much banging the side of my cup when I stir my tea now!
17. WOMEN ARE BORN NESTERS and they like to feather their nests, they love security. Maybe I'm the opposite extreme. I like at least security and whatever comforts I need, but I don't have to live in luxury. I have proved that by living 20 years of my life in caravans and trailers and campers!—And I only left that life because I had to when we moved South!
18. YOU GUYS ALL EAT TOO FAST! You can't enjoy it and you can't digest it properly when you eat so fast. Besides, you get way ahead of me and then I'm lagging way behind. I'm a very slow eater and I guess it's a big joke of the Family, but I'm thorough anyhow! It's not that it takes me so long to eat—it just takes me so long to talk! Maria and I are just naturally slow.
19. I'M TIRED OF BEING SERVED FIRST! It's a Revolution! I want others to be first! I'll eat any part of the chicken except the gizzard and the neck, and I'll eat the wing if I have to!
20. I GOT IN A TERRIBLE HABIT THERE FOR A WHILE WHERE I NEVER GOT TO BED TILL 8‚ 9 OR 10 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!—Then I had to sleep during the day instead. I started missing so many days I felt like I was beginning to be a night creature! Then I asked the Lord to change it and convert me and He has, TTL. I've started getting sleepy at night for a change.
21. I WANT TO GO TO BED EARLY AND GET UP IN THE MORNING AND SEE THE DAY! It's a lot easier on your eyes to read in the daylight and the sunlight than it is even by the very best incandescent lamp. Those 60 cycles may go past in one second, but I don't know what that kind of light does to your eyes. Daylight is beautiful, sunlight especially. I can sit there and take a sunbath right inside my window, PTL!
22. IF YOU DON'T MOW YOUR LAWN, mosquitoes will breed in the long grass!
23. BELOVED, YOU BETTER REMEMBER THAT IT'S NO FORMALITY TO PRAY OVER YOUR FOOD AND YOUR DRINKS! The Lord not only prayed for the bread, but He also prayed for the wine. It's always a good idea to pray for anything you put in your mouth. I think I told you that's a form of faith, and that the Greek word "pisteuo" means "I drink in," "I believe." It takes a lot of faith to put something in your mouth and swallow it and believe that it's good for you and not going to kill you!
24. EVERY TIME YOU TAKE A MOUTHFUL OR A SWALLOW, THAT'S AN EXPRESSION OF FAITH, you are manifesting faith. So think of that the next time you read that word "believe" in the Bible, because nowadays the word believe no longer means anything. You ask somebody, "Are you going to town?" They say, "Well, I believe so"—meaning I think maybe so‚ but maybe not, I don't know. It just as good as means "I don't know"—whereas real faith knows‚ amen? PTL! It's amazing the sermons I can get out of a cup of tea! Ha!
25. I'M A GREAT WATER DRINKER. MAYBE THAT'S ONE REASON THE LORD'S KEPT ME HEALTHY! It's good to drink a lot of liquid to keep things circulating. In the Old Testament it says that when Moses died at 120 that "his eye was not dim, nor his natural forces abated" (Deut.34:7). The King James Bible is a very delicate book and uses very nice little delicate expressions! But the original says,
26. "NEITHER WERE HIS NATURAL JUICES ABATED"!—He could still make it at 120! Think of that! I don't think I'll even make 120! Well, we live faster nowadays. I used to tell those taxi drivers, and I still tell them, "If you live slower you live longer"—which is certainly the truth! When you live it up in a hurry and burn the candle at both ends, it only burns half the time, but it gives a glorious twice as much light!
27. MY FRIEND MR. HAAS WOULD NEVER EAT ANYTHING GREEN or a vegetable, and he had scabs all over his body, something like scurvy!
28. WATER OVER YOUR HEAD IS ALWAYS DANGEROUS!—You could get a cramp and go under. A mask and snorkel can also be dangerous!
29. IN POOR COUNTRIES BE SURE TO WASH THE VEGETABLES THOROUGHLY! Don't eat salads when out unless you inspect every single piece thoroughly to see that it is well-washed and clean. You've got to be especially careful about leafy vegetables. You'll frequently find little bugs called aphids on the bottom of the lettuce. They're the same color as the lettuce and so small you can hardly see them! If you eat them they can make you sick!
30. DON'T EVEN BRING FOOD AND VEGETABLES IN THE HOUSE until they've been washed out in the yard! Frequently they have all kinds of bugs and insects. We used to have a box out in the backyard where we'd squirt the hose on them before we'd even bring them in. They're apt to have all kinds of bugs, insects‚ spiders and whatnot on them!
31. AVOID THE CONDITIONS THAT MAKE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE TO HAPPEN. For example‚ don't walk down a dark street alone‚ tempting people to rob you!
32. ALWAYS CHECK TO SEE WHERE THE FIRE ESCAPE IS in a new apartment or hotel room, even in restaurants and night clubs. There is oftentimes only one exit, so you should sit where you can get out fast in case of emergency—and always ask for the Lord's protection.
33. DON'T WAIT TILL YOU'RE COLD TO PUT ON A WRAP—the minute you feel a little cool, put it on! These people running around in almost nothing who want to turn up the heat make me just furious! I used to exaggerate a little bit and say, "By the time I see you with your overcoat on and you're still cold, I'll turn up the heat!"
34. PUT ON SOME CLOTHES! Why should we turn up the heat and waste all that Arab oil? If you're cold, the first thing to do is put on some wraps, put on some clothes, put on your overcoat if you have to! If you still cannot keep warm‚ then turn up the heat, amen? There's no reason to have to sit and suffer just through pride!
35. I SPENT THE FIRST HALF OF MY LIFE CATCHING COLDS, FLU AND PNEUMONIA because I was too proud to put on an extra sweater or a coat and show that I was a weakling that couldn't take the cold! I tried to run around in t-shirts and sports shirts like the rest of the guys, and it nearly killed me! When you're chilled or you've got a cold‚ then you've got to put on extra clothing, and if you don't, it's just pure pride or laziness or ignorance!
36. AFTER I NEARLY DIED OF PNEUMONIA IN THE ARMY I decided from then on I was never going to do that anymore! If I was cold I was going to put on sweaters, overcoat, long underwear, boots, parkas, whatever was necessary to keep warm!
37. I USED TO WALK INTO RESTAURANTS IN TROPICAL MIAMI, FLORIDA, with my overcoat over my arm and put it on and a hat too because it was so God-damned cold in those restaurants with all that damn air conditioning! I used to say to those guys, "For God's sake, what the hell do you put this air conditioning on for when we came down here to get warm? Then you freeze us to death in your refrigerator!" It's a fact!
38. LIKE THAT STORY I TOLD YOU ABOUT ME ON THE PLANE—it was cold, and it was a cold draught when they turned on that damn air conditioning on the plane. So I put on my overcoat and finally my beret. I always carried a beret 'cause you could stick it in your pocket. This guy looked at me and said‚ "Are you French?" I said, "No, I'm cold!" So don't be ashamed to admit it, beloved; don't be ashamed to cover up and get warm, and it will keep you nice and healthy!
39. BATHS ARE DANGEROUS! Sitting in water for too long a time saturates the skin so that you can get very easily chilled afterwards, especially the scalp. When you are sick, it's not the time to take a bath—sponge off if you have to. In the olden days they considered baths almost deadly, and I don't blame 'em! That's why they bathed mostly in oils and perfumes! (But you need to bathe and change daily in the tropix!)
40. SOME MODERN DOCTORS MAKE FUN OF THE IDEA THAT TEETHING CAUSES FEVER.—But I know good and well that when Davidito was teething, I think it was four teeth at one time there in Italy, he really had one of the worst fevers he'd ever had in his life and was about the sickest he's ever been!
41. They used to ask me, "How's your cold?" I'd say, "My cold's great, but I feel lousy!"
42. THE BEST MOUTHWASH IS LUKEWARM WATER. I have so many caves to wash out, I have quite a bit of washing. The British are not very good at filling cavities, whether it's teeth or their pockets.
43. LICE GO STRAIGHT FOR YOUR HAIR, and that's the only hair they go for, nowhere else. Crabs will only go in your pubic hair. The first I heard about crabs I didn't know what they meant, I was still so innocent by the time I got in the army. I saw somebody had written on the wall of the latrine, "No use putting paper on this here seat—crabs in the army can jump ten feet!"
44. I SAW A DOCTOR LECTURE ON HEAD LICE‚ which is quite a problem in Britain. It's not confined strictly to only the worst of families, but they said kids can pick it up almost anywhere. They infest couches, beds and all kinds of things! He said there's one distinct peculiarity about head lice and that's their directional system. They know where your head is and which direction and how to get there!—In a matter of minutes!
45. WHEN YOU OPEN A BOTTLE OR CAN AND IT GOES "WHSSST," IT'S WHAT THEY CALL BOTULISM!—Not with wine‚ that's usually a suction. But in any tight closed dark food container the gas is caused by dangerous bacteria, and sooner or later botulism sets in and it's all contaminated. If you eat it, it can kill you with in about 3 minutes—it's that poisonous! So if you open a bottle and you hear it go whsst, I wouldn't even take a chance on tasting anything that badly spoiled!
46. YOU NEED TO SMELL THINGS BEFORE YOU BUY THEM—especially in the case of pharmaceutical goods such as alcohol, witch hazel, tincture of iodine‚ etc. Make sure it's full strength and that you're getting your money's worth!
47. IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH COCKROACHES, plug up sink and tub drains to keep them from coming up through them in the night.
48. YOU CAN'T ALWAYS STICK WITH A HIGH NUTRITIONAL DIET IN EVANGELISTIC WORK. You've got to use a little common sense and eat what the Lord provides.
49. MY GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDFATHER NEVER DID LEARN ENGLISH WELL, but I do remember my Grandmother saying, "Let the food close the mouth"!—In Swedish!—Ha!
50. IT MAY BE BEST TO MAKE A 14–DAY MEAL SCHEDULE. This way you can use the more inexpensive type of meats to make a variety. Save on meat, because others are out there beating the pavement for it! You can make creamed tuna by adding tuna to mushroom soup‚ if necessary, or just a white sauce made from powdered milk. But put mostly cream more than tuna! The same goes for spaghetti—use more noodles than meat. Liver and fish are musts weekly. Lamb and roasts are much more expensive. I'm not sure if chicken is even Scriptural; it may be dirty. Use the more inexpensive meats in your meal plan and experiment with health pastas and soybeans.
51. ALL THE DIET BOOKS THAT I REMEMBER READING USED TO SAY IF YOU'D EAT THE RIGHT KIND OF FOODS, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO EAT AS MUCH! You'd eat less because it's more satisfying and full of minerals and vitamins and the things you need. That's probably why you're able to eat less of that health food than other foods.
52. DIRECT HOT SUN IS NOT GOOD FOR TAPE RECORDERS or anything electronic, even a watch!
53. MOST HEALTH EXPERTS SAY THAT MILK IN TEA IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU because the tea and the milk combination heighten the tannic acid effect‚ which is not necessarily good for your stomach. Now whether it's true or not, I don't know, but that's what they say. I've known people who drank tea with milk all their lives and it never seemed to affect them.
54. DEBORAH'S BOYFRIEND SKIPPER HAD A GRANDMOTHER 103 YEARS OLD! They wrote her up in the newspaper on her 103rd birthday and wanted to know the secret of her long life. She said, "Faith in God, reading the Bible‚ and a strong cup of tea every day—strong as the hind legs of an ox!"
55. I WASH SOMETHING ELSE MORE OFTEN THAN MY FEET! You've got to keep washing it pretty often if you use it as often as I do mine! Thank God for bidets! I don't think I'd ever want to live in the U.S. again if for no other reason than that. I don't see how such a supposedly civilized sanitary civilization could have ever gotten along without bidets! I suppose maybe it's because they're such clean-freaks and take a whole bath two or three times a day instead! They think they can waste all the heat and water they want and stand singing in the shower for half an hour!
56. EUROPEANS HAVE LEARNED HOW TO ECONOMIZE ON A LOT OF THINGS, including water and soap‚ not to speak of the fact that a lot of the houses were not very warm in the old days and you couldn't very well take a full bath without contracting pneumonia! They practically went all winter without taking a bath at all; they considered it was dangerous, and it is!
57. YOU CAN CATCH A COLD VERY QUICKLY AFTER A FULL HOT BATH, and if you take a hot bath or shower you'd better follow it with a cold one to close up your pores again. But that still is not going to restore the layer of oil on your skin, which does more to keep you warm than almost anything else. You've washed away all that oil, especially if you use soap. At least when they took baths without soap they didn't wash all the oil away.
58. GEORGE WASHINGTON DIED OF PNEUMONIA AFTER TAKING A BATH and running out in the snow to attend to something. So the old phobia, as our teachers used to call it, that the ancients had of catching pneumonia during the winter if they took a bath is true! That's how I keep so warm. I don't mean I don't take a bath all winter, but not very often a full bath.
59. I'VE FOUND YOU CAN WASH ONE PART AT A TIME WITHOUT RISKING YOUR LIFE! I washed my feet this morning, then some other morning I'd wash my hair, and so on, wash different parts at different times. Then you don't get so cold and chilled, and if you're a camper living on the road, that means a whole lot! Water's usually scarce and you just don't take baths very often—you learn to take a sponge bath in a thimbleful of water!
60. ALWAYS KEEP ON GOOD TERMS WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS. Remember, if you can see out the windows, then they can see in. You're just inviting outsiders to look in by keeping your shutters open and lights turned on. When you enter a room, pull the shutters down first, then turn on the light.
61. SOME OF THE THINGS WHICH WE JUST DO NATURALLY, by habit, we don't always think about telling the kids that they need to do it too.—Such as checking your weight frequently, at least once a month, to see if you're gaining or losing. Always have a bathroom scale handy or a neighborhood scale. Most pharmacies have scales.
62. AND ONCE IN A GREAT WHILE YOU REALLY NEED TO HAVE A MEDICAL CHECKUP AND DENTAL EXAMINATION. You usually wait till you get sick or something before you do that, then it's too late! Once in a while take a blood test and urine analysis‚ just the minimum kind of a little physical exam that they usually give at a clinic.
63. (MARIA: ESPECIALLY THE PREGNANT MOTHERS OUGHT TO GET A CHECKUP!) Well, it took you five months to make up your mind to do it, but I think they certainly should by the time they're definitely sure they're very pregnant. I don't think there's much point in it in the first few months‚ although those are really the most important in some ways.
64. EVERY TIME AFTER YOU GIRLS HAVE BEEN COOKING IN THE KITCHEN YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SPRAY ON PERFUME, especially all over your hair, because your hair absorbs odors. Did you ever notice how when a woman comes back from shopping in town and you kiss her you can smell the tobacco smoke in her hair? It's your hair that picks up most of those odors, although your skin picks up a little bit too. So when you come to me or go anywhere after cooking, you should put perfume on!
65. WE HAD A CUSTOM IN THE COLD NORTH; we didn't let them bring the food until after we had sung and prayed so it would come in piping hot! Otherwise‚ in some of these places after they have sung and prayed‚ it's stone cold.
66. ALWAYS TRY NEW KEYS when they're given to you to make sure that they work!
67. THE WASHING MACHINE DOOR SHOULD BE LEFT OPEN WHEN NOT IN USE for sanitary reasons, to air and dry—kills germs!
68. CHECK YOUR CLOTHING AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE IT AT THE DRY CLEANER'S. Take off the bag and inspect the garment inside and out! I've often had buttons missing, rips in the clothing, or found no cleaning was done at all—the garment had only been pressed!
69. YOU SHOULD PREPARE YOUR HOMES FOR WINTER IN SEPTEMBER‚ before all the other people are out shopping for heaters too!—Or better still: Go South!
70. MOST FIRES START IN THE KITCHEN, whether in restaurants, houses or clubs. The fumes can get you even before the flames!
71. WHEN YOU BREAK A GLASS, wet a tissue or paper napkin to mop up all those little slivers. Each little unseen sliver will stick to the wet tissue and will save getting cut fingers or feet.
72. LABELS AND TAGS ON TEA BAGS ARE POSSIBLY POISONOUS AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO SOAK and dissolve in the hot water. The ink on the teabag label may contain chemicals that are dangerous to the body.
73. STOCK UP WITH THREE OF EVERYTHING on your staple foods list, then replenish each used item when you go shopping. If you have at least three on hand of the foods and supplies you always need‚ then you won't run out. I believe in having plenty on hand!
74. ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO CLEAN HAIRBRUSHES AND COMBS is to soak them in one tablespoon of ammonia to a bowl of water for about 20 minutes.—The dirt comes off easily when scrubbed, then rinse well. But it's dangerous, so don't breathe deeply, and use in a well-ventilated room.
75. WHEN YOU CAN'T PAY BILLS, YOU GOTTA CUT THE FRILLS! I don't believe in wasting money—people have to work too hard for it! I was raised in the Depression and I know the value of it! Keep receipts and write down expenses! Live within your budget!
76. THE BIBLE SAYS TO "HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER" (Exo.20:12). When there's a death in your family, it may be a good time to go home and witness, if safe.
77. IF YOUR CLEAN LAUNDRY doesn't smell good, you might want to use fabric softener to make it smell clean and fresh and not like dirty feet.
78. HOT WATER SHOULD NOT COME OUT OF THE TAP SO HOT that it can scald a child or burn your hands! Readjust the furnace!
79. AMBER-COLORED LENSES are nice for sunglasses—turns all to gold!
80. MOTHER EVE USED TO ALWAYS TRY TO GET A DISCOUNT CARD AT A GROCER'S WAREHOUSE so the family could do their bulk food shopping weekly or biweekly at a special discount price. It always saves money to buy staple kitchen and housing needs in quantity for a discount price. You can share quantity shopping with another Home and divide the goods and cost between you.—Or better yet‚ provision it!
81. WE CAN'T ALWAYS CELEBRATE BIRTHDAYS! At TSC we just had one birthday party a month. There were just so many people we couldn't afford time nor expense to celebrate each birthday. Why not just have one party for everyone—or once a month for each star sign?
82. WHEN YOU SMELL SMOKE, report it immediately and search for the cause!
83. WE ALL NEED TO LEARN TO SAY, "EXCUSE ME, PLEASE," when we leave the table.
84. READ SIGNS AND LABELS ON LAMPS AND ELECTRICAL FIXTURES, or a 100-watt bulb may explode out of your 60-watt lamp and shatter glass everywhere or burn the shade!
85. IF YOU'RE GOING TO EAT IN RESTAURANTS, take along plastic bags for leftovers! We "provision" much this way!
86. TOOTHBRUSH BRISTLES KEEP FIRM AND STRAIGHT when they are free to dry after use. Shake them off when wet and hang in the toothbrush holder or stand on handle in a plastic cup by the sink.
87. PAPER NAPKINS AND PAPER TOWELS CAN BE TORN IN HALF AND USED FOR TWO PEOPLE. Economize on tissues as well and use only half a sheet at a time. If you only need to wipe up a little spill or speck, tear off and use only a small piece.
88. FRESH EGGS NEED NOT BE REFRIGERATED—they keep longer when stored in a cool, dry place near the floor, like on a low shelf. Be sure to rotate them, too, using older ones first, as with all foods.
89. KEEP SOAP IN A DISH BY THE KITCHEN SINK and make sure everyone who handles food or dishes washes their hand with soap first.
90. TURN OFF YOUR ELECTRIC STOVE BURNERS JUST BEFORE YOU'RE READY TO TAKE FOOD OFF THE STOVE—conserves heat and energy!—And saves God's money.
91. WE DON'T NORMALLY NEED TO KEEP FINANCIAL AND CORRESPONDENCE RECORDS longer than three months—some only one month!
92. TAP TO THE TUNE OF "ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS" at your door so the family will know it's "one of us" who's knocking! Ha!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family