—By Father DavidDFO122821/2/82

1. MOSQUITOES DON'T LIKE WIND. The fans will blow the mosquitoes away. They don't like wind of any kind‚ they can't fly very well when you blow them out of the way.

2. SIT ON THE WICKER CHAIRS or the rattan or the bamboo where you get some air. Don't sit on one of those overstuffed chairs—that's the way to stay hot!

3. WHY AREN'T THE DOORS OPEN? Are your bedroom windows open, wide open, & your bedroom curtains wide open? And is every door in the house open? You can't starve yourself for air, that's the one thing you need. You can be perfectly comfortable as long as you have a breeze.

4. IN SOUTHERN CLIMES NEVER GET IN A HURRY! If you want to keep cool never get in a hurry because hurry builds up energy consumption & you know what happens when energy is burned-it develops heat. Cut down on the energy & go slow, don't move so fast‚ don't walk fast, don't move fast, don't work fast. The only kind of fast we like to have is think fast‚ that doesn't burn up very much energy. So go slow!

5. ONE THING YOU DON'T WANT TO WEAR IN HOT CLIMATES IS DACRON. Cotton shirts are better.

6. WITH YOUR "SKEETER-STINKER" GOING I'D AT LEAST LEAVE MY DOOR OPEN AT NIGHT. Since most of the mosquitoes come in from the outside it might be okay if you want to shut your windows. But I'm sure not going to lock all the doors with one of those things burning. I suggest you leave at least your door open. There should be enough air space in the building to give you plenty of air, so that you don't kill yourself or fumigate yourself or asphyxiate yourself with that thing. I just figure that if it kills mosquitoes it might kill me too! Actually it doesn't kill 'em, it's just some kind of a stink that drives them away.

7. ONE THING YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE IS YOUR SCHEDULE. You late retirers who burn the midnight oil are going to find out the midnight oil gives off too much heat. Every light bulb gives off heat. In a hot climate you can heat up one room with just one lightbulb! One 100 watt bulb will heat it up. Don't burn any lights you don't absolutely have to. Some of you who love a blaze of glory, that's fine where it's wintertime & it's cold & the lights can help heat up the room. Boy, I'll tell you, we learned in Florida to turn out the lights unless you absolutely have to have them & go to bed early so you can turn off the lights early.

8. IF YOU NEED LIGHT AT ALL just to see your way around, not to fall over furniture after dark‚ a very good method is to turn on the bathroom light & then you'll have indirect light in your bedroom & you can even run around naked if you have to!

9. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, DON'T THINK YOU CAN'T CATCH COLD IN HOT WEATHER! You can catch cold in hot climates just as quickly as any place. You get chilled just as easily because you dress cool, of course, & you don't wear as many clothes & you sit in a draft or a breeze & catch a chill. Your skin is constantly evaporating moisture like a cooler, that's the way God made it to keep you cool & that's why you can keep so cool in hot climates. The nice balmy breezes of the Tropics are laden with moisture too, & that's one reason they're nice & cool.

10. WATCH OUT FOR RAW VEGETABLES. Where you get diseases is if they haven't washed them real good or peeled them. Make sure your cook washes everything thoroughly.

11. IF YOU HAVE A SERVANT WHO'S A COOK I SUGGEST YOU LET HIM DO HIS OWN BUYING. Ask him how much money he needs & if they cheat a little bit or pad it a little bit‚ that's the custom in these tropical countries-it's like part of their salary. So don't worry about it as long as it doesn't start getting to be too obvious & too much & the bill grow a little too fast or what you couldn't have eaten. You might even put him on a budget.

12. HAVE COLD LUNCHES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO DO SO MUCH COOKING. Eat salads, sandwiches, fruit salads, all kinds of sandwiches & cold stuff. In hot countries I don't believe in cooking more than one hot meal a day. No fires, no cooking for lunch.

13. WE ONLY BELIEVE IN WASHING CLOTH NAPKINS ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK & we get either napkin clips or napkin rings to they don't have to wash the napkins every day. Either that or neatly fold up your napkin & leave it in the same place. Just wash it every third day & put your napkin by your plate so you'll remember where it is. And leave the cloth on the table too & only wash when it's dirty, just when it's dirty.

14. FOR SECURITY, if you're all gathered together in one room leave the doors open so that you can hear if anything's going on in your rooms or outside your rooms or screens or grills. Don't leave anything within arms reach of the big holes in windows with grills, they're not screens. In fact, if the thieves are real smart & have a nice little stick with a hook on the end of it, they can reach almost anything you leave laying around loose in your room, & it's been known to happen! So don't leave any valuables laying out loose in a room when you're not in the room! Put things away in drawers & if they're very valuable lock'm up in your suitcase. Theft is very common in all poor countries & you can't much blame'm. If you leave it laying around loose & you don't watch it, well‚ that's your fault & I had a teacher who used to blame it on us if we got something stolen. He said, "You tempted the thief. You left it out where it was unprotected‚ you tempted somebody to steal it. It was your fault." You put temptation in front of the thief, so who's to blame? Now don't just be careless & say, "I only ran out of the room for a minute". Maybe somebody was just waiting outside the window for you to run out for a minute to grab it.

15. IF YOU DON'T WANT TOO MANY MOSQUITOES keep your windows shut & your door open for the night & your fan on low & use a mosquito pellet burner if you want to. I'm not too keen on 'em & actually I wouldn't worry about it if it wasn't for poor Maria. When she gets a bite she really gets a dilly & she seems to be almost allergic to them. But I don't know what that odor does to you. Maybe it's perfectly harmless-it's supposed to be & I hope so. Although I read on the package & it says to "Be sure to wash your hands carefully after using & do not leave in reach of children", it doesn't sound very harmless. Anything that's dangerous to even touch I don't particularly care to breathe, at least not in a totally unventilated room! So I would suggest that you have a little ventilation.

16. WE'VE GOT TO PRAY THAT MARIA'LL DEVELOP A RESISTANCE AGAINST THEM. I think years of mosquitoes help you to develop some kind of a resistance. We used to laugh at the Northerners who came down to Miami & the mosquitoes bothered them‚ because we Floridians, I guess our blood had turned so sour or sweet or something that they'd hardly even touch us anymore.

17. LIGHTS DO TWO THINGS-THEY ATTRACT MOSQUITOES BUT THEN THEY REPEL THEM. It's a funny thing‚ lights at night will attract them but then they don't like the light. Once they're in they head for the dark.

18. NOW WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SECURITY TOO. Be sure all the doors are locked & there's a light on. Thieves are especially afraid of light. They're kind of like the mosquito thieves—the lights may attract them but then they don't like to get in the light. Mosquitoes like to head for under your bed, that's one of their favourite hiding places.

19. ONE OF THE EASIEST TIMES TO GET'M IS WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE WET. You can just grab'm out of the air & your wet hands just immediately catch'm & suffocate them. Sometimes when you try to slap them between your hands the air concussion just blows them out from between your palms & you miss'm. The best way to do it is to grab'm if you see'm & then be sure when you open your hand to slap quick‚ bamm‚ & get'm!

20. BE SURE ALL THE OUTSIDE DOORS ARE LOCKED & DON'T BE SATISFIED WITH JUST TURNING THE KEY IN THE LOCK. I discovered a long time ago living in hotels that if you don't get the key in the right position the maid can come along & shove her key in & knock yours right out & unlock the door! So what you do is turn your key clear around to lock the door & then turn it a little further, another quarter turn or even half turn if you can. Most of them will turn that much further & they cannot knock it out or stick a pass key or skeleton key or something in. So be sure all doors are locked & bolted if they have bolts.

21. AIR IS REALLY THE SALVATION OF THE TROPICS. If you get plenty of air & breeze you'll be perfectly comfortable. After all, the Lord made the Tropics, He knew what He was doing & more people live in the Tropics than live anywhere else in the World! So it must be good for them & they have more children than anybody—always running around naked they're bound to have more kids! So PTL! I love the naked weather where we can have lots of naked women & naked sex! Just be careful where the servants can see you!

22. LET'S STAY ON A SCHEDULE. I've always liked schedules & work schedules as well, & we try to all be at work by 9:00 am. We have lunch at 1:00 & then a siesta after that & are back on duty at 3:00, D.V. Two hours off for lunch are for lunch & a nap & sex if you need it. It's almost the best time of the day to have sex, it's nice & hot & you can't stand your clothes on! Then we have dinner at 7:30 & try to have lights out at 11:00.

23. DON'T LET THE MAID OR SERVANT SET THEIR FOOT BEYOND YOUR BEDROOM DOOR OR INSIDE YOUR BEDROOM FOR ANYTHING. Just tell them you'll take care of your own room & when they are around & you are out of your room I suggest you lock your door in case they forget.

24. I THINK WE OUGHT TO RAISE THE COOK'S SALARY. Some people get paid more than others because of the type of skilled labour they have. It doesn't seem fair in some ways but usually it takes more training & more preparation & they deserve to get paid more for it.

25. I THINK THE SERVANTS OUGHT TO HAVE SUNDAY OFF. I think they ought to go home & spend a weekend with the family every week. That was God's plan, not something irregular, but it was one day a week. Our custom is to take Sunday off. That gives us a chance to have our little fellowship meeting & that's one day when our own folks can do the cooking & we only have soup & fellowship meeting, so why not make it Sunday?

26. THE RICH ARE GOING TO SAY WE'RE SPOILING THE SERVANTS. Well, that's what we did in Tenerife & we raised the wages & the standard of living of the help in town because we kept paying ours more & tipping them better because we didn't think the minimum was enough. We didn't see how they could even live on what they were getting & they couldn't really.

27. SO WHAT DID WE COVER-Safety‚ skeeters‚ schedules, salaries, servants, Sundays & security! Maybe there will be Homes in the Orient who'll have some of these problems, where help is cheap & they can afford it & they might as well have it & should know how to handle it. You've had the "7 F's of FFing" now you can have "The 7 S's"!

28. GOODNIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT & DON'T LET THE SKEETERS BITE!

Extra for our Family,

29. No more notes & notebooks. We're going to have to live in a whole new dimension with servants right in the house. So there'll be no more united singing, acting like you-know-who. Maybe you can hold hands when you pray on the side under the table. We're going to sort of have to cut down on any obvious religious observations & not look like services or classes or whatever.

30. For God's sake don't come running out here naked, boys or girls. I don't think there's any reason you have to, esp. at night with lights on when they can see you.

31. You should not just be getting breakfast by 9:00 but you ought to be done with your breakfast & let's get to work at 9:00. We're a workin' troop let me tell you!

32. If we have dinner at 7:30 sharp be able to have, D.V., a devotional talk or video or whatever & cut it off at 10:00, okay? Here we don't even have to clean up so we can start our videos at 8:00, amen? And that way we could certainly be done by 10:00 & get to bed & please try to have your lights out by 11:00 unless it's an emergency.

33. Each of you clean your own rooms & bathrooms. We'll take care of our bedrooms & toilets. They (the servants) can clean the public rooms, dining room & living room. We'll clean our hall because we often have the other doors open. Just this living room & dining room & the yard‚ porches, patios, walks & the meals. The cooking, the serving, the setting up, cleaning up, everything.

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family