—By Father DavidDFO1031Tenerife‚ 10 January 1976

1. USING HUMAN FERTILISER IS A VERY COMMON PRACTICE IN MOST BACKWARD COUNTRIES. I remember when I was in Laredo‚ Texas there was a big controversy going on. The huge big tank trucks would come up from Mexico & get the human sewage at the sewage disposal plant & pump cesspools, then they'd go back down across the border & fertilise these huge big American plantations of garden vegetables.

2. THEY'D HARVEST THE CROPS & BRING THEM BACK UP ACROSS THE U.S. BORDERS & sell them! There wasn't anything illegal about them getting the sewage & taking it down across the border because Mexico doesn't have any law against it, especially out in the big fincas, huge big plantations away from the cities. But selling the possibly contaminated food across the border in the U.S. is what they were raising the issue on because it could carry cholera, typhus & quite a few other diseases.

3. IT'S THE STRANGEST THING, the Lord has made the fruits so that for some reason or other the contamination or infection doesn't seem to get inside. It is only borne on the outside on the skins. The biggest most dangerous carriers are lettuce & other leafy vegetables that you can't skin & you can only wash.

4. THE DANGER'S JUST AS GREAT, IN SOME CASES MORE DEADLY, WITH CHEMICAL FERTILISERS that they use in the U.S. It's even worse with that because God has made His fruits & vegetables so they don't absorb the bacteria contaminants & infections, but they have no protection against these deadly poisonous man-made fertilisers. They absorb DDT, atomic radiation, poisonous chemical insecticides & all that kind of stuff, & there's no protection.—Milk, fish, everything absorbs it!

5. YOU CAN GET THESE THINGS FROM UNCLEAN FISH & ANIMALS WHO EAT THE SEWAGE & eat the slop & garbage, especially unclean fish which are not supposed to be eaten because they are scavengers. As I used to tell my little kids‚ "Don't worry about them, they're God's good garbage men!"—Like the vultures that tear apart the carcasses on the highway. They're doing a service, they're getting rid of the garbage. But you don't go eating vultures, they're unclean birds.

6. ALL THESE VARIOUS MOLLUSKS & UNCLEAN FISH THAT THE BIBLE TALKS ABOUT EAT SEWAGE & GARBAGE & live on it. They're the garbage men of the ocean. So of course you're not supposed to eat them, because then you can get the same thing. That's how many of the cholera epidemics are spread, by people eating mussels & oysters & other unclean fish. So contaminants & infection can be spread by animal life—unclean fish & unclean animals like hogs & pigs.

7. THANK GOD THE LORD MADE FRUIT & VEGETABLES SO THEY DON'T NORMALLY CARRY ANY KIND OF INFECTION or anything like that unless they are infected with worms or the birds have punctured the skin & that sort of thing, then they can become dangerous. But normally, if it's a good healthy fruit it hasn't absorbed the infection or the contaminant, but it's dangerous if not thoroughly washed before eating.

8. I'M TELLING YOU ALL THIS ABOUT YOUR KITCHEN PREP! If you don't thoroughly wash grapes, for example, that you don't skin & that a little baby puts in his mouth & sucks on, he could get cholera or typhus or God only knows what! Lettuce is particularly dangerous unless thoroughly washed because there's no way to skin it. It's so thin & leafy that it is apt to be badly contaminated unless you wash & wash & wash it very thoroughly!

9. EVERY LEAF SHOULD BE WASHED THOROUGHLY IN RUNNING WATER ON BOTH SIDES.—And any kind of vegetable that you eat whole & don't peel such as cauliflower‚ Brussels sprouts, cabbage, tomatoes, potatoes, celery & even carrots. I've told you the skin is good for you, well in this case it's not‚ if you're apt to be in a place where they might be using human sewage for fertiliser.

10. WATCH OUT! SKIN & SCRAPE EVERYTHING! DON'T EAT THE OUTSIDE OF ANY RAW VEGETABLE! It's too bad because that's where a lot of the food value & vitamins are‚ just under the skin. But scrape your carrots good & peel everything you can, & wash everything else thoroughly. At least you can wash it off & clean it, whereas you can't get rid of those poisonous deadly chemicals that they use in the U.S. They are absorbed by the plant itself & go right into the fruit & into the vegetable & there's no way of getting rid of it! If you eat enough of it, why it'll get to you someday!

11. ANOTHER POINT IS THIS, THERE'S NOTHING THAT THE FLIES LOVE BETTER THAN HUMAN SEWAGE & DUNG. They just love it, to them it is delicious. They eat it & they crawl all over it & then they come flying over your garden wall & crawl into the baby's mouth & around the lip of your cup or cross your fresh eggs on the plate & then you stick the cup or food in your mouth & you've had it!

12. YOU WONDER WHY I MAKE SUCH A FUSS WHEN I FIND THOSE FLIES AROUND! You leave the door open & the flies come in here buzzing around crawling all over David's mouth & all around his food or on his plate or yours! It's just absolutely unpardonable to allow flies around the house or in the kitchen or where there's food!

13. YOU MUST NOT LET FLIES IN THE HOUSE & AROUND THE BABY or around the food!—And you must not leave stuff outside that attracts flies. That's one reason I'm always in such a hurry to get this tray in with these dirty dishes, because the flies come & crawl all around inside the cup & on the plates & on the silver & who knows how clean you're going to get them when you wash them.—I don't know! It might encourage you to make sure you get them clean!

14. IT'S VERY VERY BAD TO LEAVE FOODS THAT ARE EASILY CONTAMINATED OPEN because there are always bacteria floating around in the air & there's going to be oodles when all this sewage dries up just blowing around in the wind. One of the easiest ways to get food contaminated & infected is from flies. Their nice juicy hairy legs pick up just gobs of it & then they come crawling around on your glass or your plate or your food!

15. BELOVED, YOU JUST CAN'T LET IT HAPPEN! You must not let it happen! You've got to keep these doors shut! Keep the flies out or kill them, & keep your food covered & put away. You just must not let it happen. (Maria: You girls get so hot when you're cooking, for example‚ that you leave the door open deliberately, so you can have fresh air. But that smell is one of the things that attracts flies.) Nothing attracts flies like the smell of meat cooking! It will just attract them by the gobs, & they are persistent sometimes! Of all the doors that ought to have a screen on it is that kitchen door!

16. CLEANLINESS IS GODLINESS!—IT'S NOT NEXT TO IT, IT IS GODLINESS TO BE CLEAN! All of these are of course natural‚ physical illustrations that God has made of how people get contaminated spiritually, but they're very important & you need to wash any kind of garden vegetable in particular very thoroughly & even scrape them. Particularly the kind of vegetables which are buried in the soil like potatoes, onions, carrots & so on.

17. NOW COULD YOU IMAGINE THEM BEING FERTILISED WITH HUMAN SEWAGE & that sewage soaking into the ground onto the skins of those things because they're underground? Well, maybe that'll help you remember to clean them real good. Every leaf of cabbage must be thoroughly washed under running water by hand, & every single leaf of lettuce.

18. (MARIA: IF YOU'RE MAKING COLESLAW YOU DON'T DO IT BY THE LEAF, YOU DO IT BY THE HEAD, but then after it's all grated up it could be shaken around & washed that way.) Yes, you can wash it as best you can on the outside‚ & then after it's been grated you can put it one of those big bowl-shaped sieves or colanders & thoroughly thoroughly run oodles & oodles of water through it. It fact, even take it & immerse it in a bowl of water to where it's really soaked & dripped dry. You've got a little protection anyhow, a little washing, to get it as clean as you can.

19. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT THIS IN THE U.S. They don't fertilise with human sewage so it's not as apt to get contaminated from the sewage to the vegetables, even by flies & other agents, because they have toilets & clean ways of taking care of it. But on the other hand they do something even worse. They contaminate them with these deadly chemicals that the plant has no protection against whatsoever!

20. SO NOW WHEN YOU SEE THAT FLY JUST REMEMBER WHAT IT'S PROBABLY JUST BEEN CRAWLING ON or what it hatched out of out there in the bananas! I've tried to impress on you guys time & again how much I hate flies. I studied flies when I was in school under a microscope & studied all the kind of bacteria they carry & it's just almost unbelievable what a type of demons they are! If they're not actually demons they are a good type of demons because they can carry almost every known kind of disease—tuberculosis, cholera‚ dysentery, typhus—just almost every disease known to man is carried by flies. And what isn't carried by flies is carried by mosquitoes. So for God's sake, kill those flies & keep them out of here!

21. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT ALWAYS WORRIES ME: Our cook will pick up a banana & peel it for me, but then she's had her hands & her fingers all over the outside of that banana & she goes ahead & eats crackers or cheese herself without washing her hands, she's contaminating her own food!

22. YOU OUGHT TO WASH EVERY KIND OF FRUIT ON THE OUTSIDE‚ even those that you don't eat the skin of, because you're going to touch the skins with your fingers while you're eating or while you're preparing that food for somebody else. You say, "Well, we peel it." Yes, but then the minute after you have peeled it what do you do? Then you take the raw peeled banana in your fingers & cut it with your other hand & put all the dirt right back on the banana! So unless you wash it all off thoroughly & then after peeling go wash your hands with soap & water, before coming & touching the food, you're continuing to contaminate the food right along! (Maria: Remember, all of you that have anything to do with food preparation have a very important job!) It's particularly important regarding salads & raw vegetables & raw fruits that you eat fresh & without cooking.

23. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT VEGETABLES THAT YOU'RE GOING TO COOK. If you boil the vegetable at least ten minutes, that's it! It's killed nearly every microbe there is known to man! But if you're not going to cook the vegetable & are going to eat it fresh & raw, the way God intended for you to eat it, but without all that contamination, then you're going to have to make sure it is clean.

24. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME ON CLEANING & WASHING IT AS YOU WOULD COOKING IT, but it's very very important! I would almost rather you hose off the bananas, knowing what you know now‚ before you even bring them in the house. I hate you to even touch them because your fingers get contaminated, you bring all those germs in the house & they get on the floor & then God only knows how much they get wafted around in the breeze & into the food.

25. THAT'S WHY IT'S SO TERRIBLE FOR YOU TO LEAVE CHEESE OR ANY FOOD STANDING AROUND UNCOVERED, jars left open. There are always oodles of bacteria floating around in the air just looking for a place to land & hatch out & to colonise & grow! So you should never ever leave food uncovered. I've always made a practice of covering jars immediately. I fuss at Maria if she leaves the lid off this milk jar just a few moments.

26. AND ONE OF THE WORST THINGS YOU CAN DO, BELOVED, IS TAKE A DIRTY SPOON that you've either had in your mouth or in something else & go from one jar to the other with that wet spoon or that dirty spoon!—You're contaminating the stuff right there! Coffee doesn't easily contaminate. It's got a powerful acid & stuff in it that would kill almost anything, so you can't necessarily contaminate the coffee. But I've seen people, including some very nice people‚ take their spoon & put the coffee in & stir it up first in the water, & although the spoon has only had coffee on it, now it has water on it, & then dip the spoon in the honey or powdered milk.

27. WATER CAN BE VERY EASILY CONTAMINATED. If you have a little drop someplace such as in the milk where it's got lots of food‚ those dear little microbes can really hatch out & grow! You take that damp spoon then & you shove it into the powdered milk & you leave just a fraction of moisture there, microscopic size‚ & pretty soon you've got a culture. And pretty soon you've got a big enough culture you take a spoonful without noticing it & it's enough to make you sick! Now you must learn how to keep things clean & not contaminate things or spread contamination from one thing to the other.

28. (MARIA: ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE WORKING WITH THE FOOD—ALWAYS!) AND WASH THE FOOD! Anything in this part of the World‚ wash it thoroughly on the outside. There's not much you can do with the inside & the inside usually isn't contaminated, thank the Lord, unless it's been punctured. If you notice the skin has been punctured & has holes in it then it can be contaminated inside. So cut out those bad spots. I think maybe that time I got the runs so bad was right after I ate an avocado salad you guys gave me. I said I'd rather have it rotten than unripe, so you took me at my word & gave me a rotten avocado that had several big black rotten bruises in it.

29. ROTTEN BRUISES IN FRUIT MEANS THEY HAVE BECOME CONTAMINATED FROM THE OUTSIDE & they're beginning to rot because of contamination. And of course you eat that contamination. Well, the contamination didn't show because it was on the bottom. Here was this nice avocado sitting here, looked great on top, but usually the contamination is on the bottom on the back side, those big black bruises & rotten places.—And I got a mouthful that night that nearly made me sick right then, & it's probably what caused it.

30. THOSE ROTTEN SPOTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EATEN! That's why God made them taste so terrible, so you'd have enough common sense not to eat them! Most things you're not supposed to eat taste awful! Rotten food & rotten spots are not supposed to be eaten—they're contaminated‚ infected, so don't eat them, cut them out! If you see black bad spots in the potatoes or bad spots in the oranges, or soft spots, they should be cut out, because they're already contaminated & rotting & not supposed to be eaten.

31. BELOVED‚ THERE IS A LOT IN THE BIBLE ABOUT KEEPING CLEAN, in these ceremonial washings of the priests & so on. You go through that & it sounds like a big bore, but God was trying to teach people to be clean, that it was important! His priest kept having to wash his hands for this & wash his hands for that, washing the sacrifice & washing this & washing that & washing the utensils. It constantly tells about how many washings they went through all the time.

32. THE JEWISH RELIGION IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE CLEANEST RELIGIONS THAT THEY EVER HAD‚ because it was the true religion, the true God.—Was! You notice I said was. Well, that's about all they've got left of their religion is all this hand-washing & utensil-washing & Kosher food.

33. IT'S GOOD TO EAT KOSHER FOOD BECAUSE IT'S CLEAN FOOD. You can be pretty sure that the rabbi's certified that it's been prepared under clean conditions & it's clean food & prepared in the proper way by the rabbi washing his hands & utensils & blah blah blah!—And that's why they can mark these things Kosher. Of course you don't know, they might be lying as crooked as some Jews are, but anyway it's supposed to be. That's the way the Bible tells for them to be prepared.

34. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PREPARING FOOD & BEING CLEAN & keeping utensils clean & all that, the Bible's just full of it in the old ceremonial fixing of food. They were preparing food they were going to eat, in case you don't know it.—They ate those sacrifices!

35. (MARIA: A LOT OF TIMES WHEN YOU GET SICK & WE CAN'T DISCOVER THE CAUSE it might have something to do with the way the food's been prepared or hasn't been prepared.) It's quite possible that it's been contaminated somehow. Maybe the rest of you didn't get sick because you've got better resistance, my bowels are very sensitive. Maybe you didn't get sick because you didn't get that particular contaminated bite or mouthful, like that rotten piece of avocado.

36. I'M AN EXTREMIST & I EXAGGERATE A LITTLE BIT SOMETIMES, I shock you & I said I'd rather eat it rotten than too green, & so I got it rotten! Maybe somebody just didn't notice the black spot on the bottom. (Maria: Maybe the reason our kids were always having the runs when we were travelling on the road was from eating all those rotten fruits & vegetables we were always being given. We couldn't help that‚ but they probably didn't prepare them well enough either.)

37. PLUS WE WERE ALWAYS CAMPING OUT IN PLACES WHERE WE WEREN'T SURE OF THE WATER. Changing water all the time you have to get used to a new set of germs & we never had time to get used to them, we just had the continual runs! I know a lot of the time that I lived in the Camper when we were camping out all the time, I had the runs.—More often than I do now when living in a set place for any length of time.

38. IT'S LIKE THE STORY ABOUT THE FARMER IN THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS from whom we rented that little cabin for the Summer. He took us down & showed us this beautiful clear crystal spring & he said, "Here's this delicious cold water, I've drunk it all my life!" Well, the first few mouthfuls that we drank turned us deathly deadly sick. We had the runs like mad & it nearly killed us! He was inured to it, more or less inoculated or immunised to the water because he had drunk it all his life & he'd built up a resistance against it. The water was practically draining out of the bottom of the outhouse & this is one thing you have to watch about these campsites & farms:

39. ON A FARM YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR OUTHOUSE AS FAR FROM YOUR WELL AS POSSIBLE so that you don't get the drainage from the outhouse right down into the well & you're drinking your own sewage! The time may come when you may have to eat your own dung & drink your own piss, but for God's sake, don't do it when you don't have to! At least you'll be eating your own germs, whereas when you're letting the flies come off of this human sewage out here in the bananas & crawl all around over your cup & the baby's mouth, you're eating God-only-knows-whose germs or what kind of germs!

40. FLIES CARRY TUBERCULOSIS, AMOEBIC DYSENTERY & EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF! There are so many things, the list is almost unlimited what flies can do to you. I hate them & go after them! Boy oh boy, wasn't that something how God called the Devil Baalzebub, the Lord of the Flies! They are like demons‚ they infect you!

41. IT IS SO EASY TO GET FOODS CONTAMINATED WITH YOUR FINGERS or with utensils that are not clean. All the years I ate in restaurants I had a habit of polishing off the silver with my napkin before I'd use it. Well, it probably didn't do too much good, but maybe I had the hopes it did a little bit of good. If I got a real dirty one I'd send it back. You don't know just what they do in the kitchen anyway‚ but you just have to trust the Lord. That's why you really have to pray, because you can't do anything about it in their kitchen. But you can do something about it in your kitchen, there's no excuse, amen? Keep your hands & utensils clean!

42. WHEN YOU'RE BRINGING IN FOOD FROM THE OUTSIDE IS YOUR GREATEST TIME OF DANGER OF CONTAMINATION. Now where are you going to keep those fruits & vegetables before you wash them? When you're bringing all that filth & dirt into the house, dried human sewage on the outside of the skin, where do you set it? It would be a good idea to squirt the hose on it before you ever bring it in, even before you really actually wash it, just squirt the hose on it outside.

43. IF YOU COULD JUST GET IN MIND THAT EVERY FLY YOU SEE IS LOADED WITH HORRIBLE GERMS that are going to make you deathly sick or even kill you, you'd hate flies & you'd chase a fly until you got him, & you'd never let another one in the house to crawl on the baby or on the food or anything! And if you get it through your head that every single piece of vegetable you bring into the house is covered with filthy dirty sewage, how would you treat it then? Would you be fondling it & fiddling around with it? You wouldn't even want to touch it!

44. AFTER YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN DOWN TO THE MARKET HANDLING FILTHY DIRTY VEGETABLES & FRUIT, for God's sake, what do you do with your hands? Do you go & eat lunch & stick your fingers in your mouth? God only know what you're getting! Just take it for granted that this isn't the only place where they use human sewage, they're probably doing it in lots of places‚ wherever they can get away with it, & that every piece of fruit, every vegetable, everything you touch in the market is probably loaded with germs. You handle it‚ you squeeze it, you pick it up, you sort it out & then what do you do with your fingers?

45. I HAVE SUCH A HORROR OF THAT THAT I CAN'T STAND TO DO A THING UNTIL I WASH MY HANDS AFTERWARD. Ask Maria, I won't do a thing if I've been shopping or anything like that if I can't get to a faucet to wash my hands, especially if we're going to eat. It's a law with the Jews to wash your hands before you eat, & it's a law with the Arabs, & that's probably why they've lived so long. Wash your hands before you eat, & for God's sake, certainly before you give the baby anything to eat or handle his food or his pacifier!

46. YOU CAN GET SICK, DEATHLY SICK, IT CAN EVEN KILL YOU if you get a good lethal dose & your resistance isn't good. Don't go wiping the baby's mouth or his eyes or something with your dirty fingers after you've been handling dirty stuff, you might as well be sticking the shit in his mouth! That's just how bad it is. Some of you haven't had a very good health education, but boy, I tell you, I got this drilled into me when I was a kid. They had just started learning about microbes & bacteria & they had us nearly freaked out with so much fear of germs! Some people were washing their money & hanging it on the line & crazy stuff like that!

47. MONEY IS ONE OF THE DIRTIEST THINGS YOU CAN POSSIBLY TOUCH, & yet people take their money & leaf through it & rub their fingers all over it & pay the taxi driver & go right in & eat dinner & wipe the baby's mouth with all that filth from that money! The Bible calls it "filthy lucre," & it is filthy, one of the dirtiest things you can handle! (Maria: It's stuffed in all these men's back packets with dirty handkerchiefs that they've been blowing their nose on.) Yes, horrible!

48. THAT'S WHY I USUALLY KEEP MY CHANGE IN A SPECIAL CHANGE PURSE & the bills in a special wallet to keep it separated from everything else. I don't even like the filth to get in my pocket. I pulled out my handkerchief the other day & two pesetas dropped out—I was horrified! Those dirty filthy pesetas‚ God knows where they've been & who's been handling them‚ & here I was about to blow my nose on this filthy rag contaminated by this filthy money! I wish you guys could realise how bad it is so you'd keep things really clean!

49. THAT'S WHY I'M SO HORRIFIED ABOUT DAVIDITO PICKING UP SHOES! You're horrified if he starts to chew on one, I'm horrified to see him even handling them with his fingers & then stick his fingers in his mouth! The soles of these shoes have been walking downtown where the TB have been spitting their spittle on the ground, & the drunks have vomited, & the people have been walking in the sewage & the banana workers have been walking in the sewage & you're wiping it up & getting it on the soles of your feet! Then we bring it in here & wipe it all over the carpet that the baby plays on & drops his pacifier & toys on & then sticks them back in his mouth! It convicts me everytime I do it, & yet I've never done anything about it!

50. MAYBE WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO START A REVOLUTION & INSIST THAT EVERYBODY LEAVES THEIR SHOES OUTDOORS! We can all start on one day & have that great cleaning day, shampoo the rug, & from then on everybody leaves their shoes outdoors. I think the Japanese custom is great!

51. THE JAPANESE HAVE NICE LITTLE SANDALS THEY WEAR JUST INSIDE & wouldn't think of bringing all those germs & filth from the outdoors onto their lovely carpets on which they sit & lie down & sleep & everything else with hardly any furniture! But our so-called cultured Western & scientific civilisation has never learned any nice civilised habits like leaving your filthy dirty stinkin' contaminated germ–laden shoes outdoors & just coming in your stocking feet & putting on some kind of clean sandals. (Maria: And have a few extra pairs for the visitors that come.) Yes! That's what the Japanese do! It is that bad & that important!

52. I MEAN THE FLOOR IS FILTHY! It's not just filthy from nice clean dirt & our own clean dirt, it's filthy from the dirt of Puerto & Orotava & from the bananas & everything else because we wear our shoes inside.—It's pitiful! But that's been our lifetime habit & we still do it. Then we expect the poor baby just to be tough enough to be able to take it, after he spits things out of his mouth & wipes them all over the floor & then picks them up & shoves them back in & picks up all the germs, & here we go again! Then you wonder why he gets sick & whatnot!

53. OF COURSE LOTS OF GENERATIONS HAVE LIVED THROUGH THIS FILTHY WAY OF LIVING. I was scared to death of the cold because I always caught cold & was always so sick in cold weather in the North. But my Mother would say, "But look at those fine hardy rosy-cheeked specimens who come down here from the North, look how healthy they are. It must be good for them!" I'd say, "Nuts! They're the only ones that managed to survive, the husky healthy ones! I'd never survive in a climate like that!" So it doesn't always necessarily mean anything just because they're healthy & husky. You're just seeing the only ones that managed to survive! They're the extra-healthy husky ones who managed to live through all that filth & sewage!

54. WELL, YOU DON'T WANT TO GET SO FREAKED OUT THAT YOU'RE LIKE THE OLD LADIES THAT WASHED THEIR MONEY in the washing machine & hung it on the line, but that wasn't a bad idea really! It wasn't so funny as it sounds! But when some people realise how many germs there are floating around they get so freaked out about germs it becomes a phobia or a mania or something, & they're almost crazy! I knew one preacher once that theorised that every white corpuscle, the good ones, were angels, and every germs was a demon! Well‚ I wouldn't be surprised, demon-possessed maybe. Who knows how many billions of demons there are.

55. THAT'S ANOTHER THING, CHILDREN, ABOUT SEX!—There are germs which live in your genitals all the time. Did you know that everybody has VD? Everybody has both gonorrhea & syphilis‚ but in very minute quantities which don't hurt you‚ & they live down there for a purpose.—God only knows what purpose, I'm not a doctor. But they're perfectly safe & all right in your genitals providing they don't multiply too much through abuse & poor cleanliness & a lot of other reasons.

56. BUT THEY'RE NOT GOOD IN YOUR EYES OR MOUTH OR NOSE OR HANDLING THE BABY or the food or changing his diaper right after having had sex without washing your hands! I have been horrified & haven't even wanted to say anything about it, but girls I've had sex with those hands were practically gummy & gooey then wanted to pet my hair & my face! It's too late to say anything about it then, it's already done, but I went straight in & washed my hair afterward!

57. MAYBE I'M SOME KIND OF A SANITATION FREAK, but I've lived a little longer than you have & I'm still here, thank the Lord! I wasn't very tough to begin with so I had to take extra good care of myself. It must be some kind of dirt because the Lord says you have to wash it clean afterwards. He says very specifically to go wash yourself in clean water, & soap too for God's sake if you have some, to help kill the germs! Because, as I say, there are germs that live perfectly happy in your genitals which were not meant for your mouth, eyes, ears or the baby's mouth or little behind!

58. I'M HORRIFIED ABOUT THE WAY SOME OF YOU GUYS HANDLE SEX, & I'm worried about what you do! Did you have sex in the middle of the night & were too lazy to get up & wash your hands, much less your bottom? And then you go handling the baby & grabbing his chupa & sticking it in his mouth or handling his food or his drink or wiping his eyes! For God's sake, at least wash your hands! (Maria: Or getting him in bed with you on dirty sheets!)

59. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT AFTER HAVING SEX if a man has had an ejaculation in the bed that he is to get up & wash himself thoroughly & change the bed linens. The Bible didn't miss anything! Some of you guys need to read the Old Testament. He had to get up & change everything, the sheets & all his clothes!

60. THOSE GERMS ARE ALL RIGHT IN THEIR PLACE as long as you don't have too many of them. But through abuse & overuse & contamination by others you can get a bad dose that's too many & then you've got what they call a case of VD. But everybody's got a little. That's why when they give you a blood test it doesn't say whether you've got any of these germs in you or not, but whether you've got the normal or tolerable level of those germs that virtually everybody has, & apparently God created them for some reason.

61. LIKE MY FATHER USED TO THINK ABOUT APPENDICITIS: Some say the appendix is an appendage which is a left-over from evolution, blah blah blah. My father said, "Nothing doing! An appendix is put there so that if you overeat & stuff your guts & are a glutton you will pay for it by one God-damn hell of a belly ache that can even kill you! It's like a valve, when all your guts are stuffed like a piece of sausage to where you can't get anything else in them‚ then the appendix expands to try to take care of the excess before you blow up, & it finally blows up & bursts!"

62. EVERYTHING'S THERE FOR A REASON, those germs are there for a reason. Did you know that everybody's got a little bit of TB? Everybody has a little bit of malaria? You've got a little bit of almost all these things. Tuberculosis comes from literally days & weeks & months & sometimes years of improper living!—Improper diet, not enough vitamins‚ not enough sunshine, not enough fresh air in particular, not enough exercise to keep your blood really gushing & flowing & flushing everything out. It's just like your lungs just get contaminated, you start breeding all kinds of germs just from not using them, not flushing them out with fresh air & good fresh blood.

63. YOU DON'T CATCH TB OVERNIGHT. If they say it is contagious, you can spread TB germs from one person to the other, but unless the person's resistance is very bad & he's in just as bad shape as you are‚ he probably won't get it. I have lived in the same house & eaten with people & they even cooked our food & were our hostess‚ who had a bad case of TB, but thank God I never got it. In fact I was almost so freaked out about it I'd practically hold my breath at the table everytime I was around them & wondered whatever glass I picked up whether this one was contaminated or not!—But I just prayed & asked God to purify things.

64. THAT'S WHY I SAY TO ASK GOD TO PURIFY EVERY BITE, EVERY MOUTHFUL, EVERY SWALLOW OF LIQUID‚ & for God's sake, get out & flush out your lungs in the fresh air & your blood with a little exercise & get some sunshine that'll kill the rest of the germs, it's important! You can't just go out & do it once a week, you've got to do it everyday!

65. SOMETIMES YOU'LL FIND ME WALKING AROUND THIS GARDEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT & some of you have bumped into me wondering what in the world am I doing? I'm getting out there & flushing out my lungs, getting some nice fresh air, trying to get a little bit of exercise & a little bit of moonshine when I can't get any sunshine!

66. YOU CAN'T JUST HANG AROUND INSIDE THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME! Right now this air smells fine to you, but I challenge you to walk out there & take about ten deep breaths of fresh air & walk back in & see what you think of the air in here! That's why everytime Maria & I leave our room we open the windows wide to air it out‚ so we'll at least start with a new batch of fresh & air when we go back in there & close up everything, turn on the heater & start spewing out all our germs!

67. AT LEAST WHEN YOU'RE NOT IN THE ROOM YOU CAN LEAVE A WINDOW OPEN if it's not too cold a day. Open the windows so we can change the air & get a little fresh air in this house! But be sure you keep the curtains closed or screen closed so the flies don't come in with it, because they just love that lousy air too‚ they like to come in & eat it & contaminate it.

68. (MARIA: AND A LITTLE BASIC THING LIKE SNEEZING OR COUGHING, which we all do, be sure to cover your mouths, & when you sneeze into your hand you should make sure you wash it!) Most cold germs I think are hanging around, but you don't catch cold until your resistance is down. You can so-called "catch cold" even if you're a hermit living on a desert island & there's nobody within ten thousand miles! When you say you "caught cold", well, who the hell did you catch it from the Devil or the Lord or what?! Nobody else was there! You just got run down & the germs were already present in your body & you caught cold!

69. SO, PRAISE THE LORD, DO YOU GET THE POINT? Cleanliness isn't next to Godliness‚ it is Godliness, it's part of being Godly! So keep it clean! Keep your hands clean, your body clean, your food clean, the air clean, the yard clean & the carpets as clean as you can. Thank God we have His protection or we wouldn't have lived this long! It's only God that ever keeps you, but for God's sake, give Him a little cooperation!—Amen! GBAKY from germs! Wash everything, keep clean, kill those flies & mosquitoes & roaches! GBY!

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family