July 21, 2003
FSM 208 (FN 317) DO
Copyrighted March,1992 by Family Services, Zurich, Switzerland
Adults only, ages 21 & over!
—A Testimony of Prayer Power in the Face of a Fatal Affliction!
—By Endureth, SEA
Two years ago in the Spring of 1990, when Silas & I attended the Summit '90 Meetings, Peter shared a message from Mama. She said, "I'd rather not be healed, if my healing means that I won't be as close to the Lord!" It left me stunned! For Mama to be able to say that—and MEAN it—seemed so far beyond me that I could only marvel. Her love for the Lord & her unqualified desire to please Him, I felt, were such a beautiful reflection of Dad's own faith & trust in the Lord. That attitude seemed to me to be the ultimate goal that we could possibly strive for in our relationship with the Lord & our dedication to Him. I knew then that there was something very special for me in that message. The Lord was beginning to prepare my heart for what He was about to do in my life!
What I didn't know then was how many times the memory of those words would run through my mind some months later, as my own life hung in the balance. By comparison, my faith seemed so dim, so weak.—But how I clung to Mama's example! And through it all, I came to know & trust in Him in ways I never had before, as the loving Hand that held that balance!
My Prayer to Become More Broken & Deeper in My Relationship with the Lord
After those Summit Meetings, we had returned to our field, & there the Lord continued to gently prepare my heart. We held two sessions of local Delegates' meetings for the Shepherds & bellwethers of the SEA Area, & it was during the second of those sessions that I began to feel I was about to go through some suffering or some breaking in my life.
From the start, the Lord let me see why I NEEDED it in order to help prepare me to be able to ACCEPT it when it came. First of all, I began to feel I wasn't broken enough. I felt so spoiled by the Lord; He's been so good to me!
In these meetings, with the responsibility of helping & loving so many dear ones through the major breakings & forsakings they were experiencing in their lives, I realised I, too, had been through difficult times of testing in the PAST, & had those lessons to share. But I felt that my own breakings weren't RECENT or fresh enough to keep me in a position where I could really relate to others as the Lord wanted me to.
Instead, I found myself wondering why others had to be going through such heavy battles. "Why couldn't they just look to the Lord & be joyful & cheerful? Why couldn't they see the Lord's hand in all of these things?" It shocked me to see how unfeeling & self-righteous I was becoming, & I really didn't want to be like that!
I knew I needed to be softer. I prayed for the Lord to teach me to be more understanding & more merciful, more compassionate.—Not that it's ME in any way, it's all the LORD, but that He would help me to grow, so that HE could come through more.
In relation to this prayer, I kept thinking about Mama & Marianne, two women leaders whom I admire & look up to very much. Mama has been through so much with her eyes, & Marianne with baby Gabriel. Yet the Lord had given each of them THE GRACE FOR THESE BATTLES, & they both have fought through & come out so positively, so victoriously, with many beautiful lessons learned!
I felt that the Lord was trying to deepen my life, & He used their examples when my own time of testing began, to comfort me that He would give me the grace I needed, & that I would come out a better tool in His hand, more broken & closer to Him, which was my heart's desire.
Pregnant! Arrival at Remote Meeting Site in India!
After completing the SEA meetings, I missed my period for the first time in over 14 years. I thought right away that I was probably pregnant, as I began having all of the usual symptoms. Because we were so very busy with preparations for a trip to India to hold Delegates' meetings there, it wasn't until our arrival in Bombay that I took two pharmacy PG tests, both of which gave positive results. You can imagine how excited we were that I was pregnant after so many years! PTL!
Cephas was my partner for these meetings, & along with some others, we made our way to the meeting site, high in the mountains of India. It was a one-&-a-half-hour plane trip from Bombay, then another five-hour drive. The last three hours were straight up the mountain.
The meetings were to be held at the vacation home of one of our dear kings there, & the setting couldn't have been more beautiful! Also, I could hardly remember ever being to a more remote place! Here, cut off from the rest of World, we & the Indian delegates would be in a better position to hear from the Lord & receive all that He had for our lives!
Intense Pains Begin
Only one hour after arriving at the meeting site, I suddenly felt severe pains in my abdomen. As the pains increased in intensity, I called for Cephas, & the brethren began praying for me.
At first, I thought that I must be having a miscarriage brought on by the strenuous trip, but as the pains increased, though I'd never had one before, I realised that the pains were too strong for a miscarriage of only two months. For several hours all we could do was pray & cry out to the Lord to do a miracle!
All of the meeting delegates had already arrived, so we asked them to join with us in desperate prayer, pleading with the Lord to touch & heal me. God bless them—they got together on the spot & cried out to the Lord for His mercy.
I had never been in such pain before. After several hours, the pains subsided a bit. My stomach by this time was very large, very hard, & extremely sensitive to any touch or any movement. If I lay perfectly still, the pains were bearable, but if I tried to move in any way, the pains were excruciating!
For the next 24 hours I just lay in bed, & those with me upheld me in prayer & read to me from the Word. God bless them! How powerful prayer can be when we're using it to fight together! I really couldn't have made it without the Family & those dear prayer warriors who were fighting by my side! PTL for such a wonderful Family! There's no place else in the World where you can find people like this!
An Answer to My Prayer—A Situation Engineered by Him!
From the first pain, I realised that this was part of the Lord's answer to my prayer to be more broken, merciful & sympathetic to others. This was what He had been trying to prepare me for! There was no way that I could doubt that the Lord had engineered this situation in such a way that I would have to depend on Him & Him alone.
He could have caused this whole thing to happen while we were still in Bombay or before we even left home, where doctors & hospitals were readily available. But He didn't! Instead, He had waited until the very hour that we had arrived at the meeting site, completely cut off from any outside help. It was just obviously GOD'S PLAN!
From the beginning, I knew that if He wanted to heal me, it was going to have to be Him, because there was just no other direction to look. At the same time, it wasn't even as though I was being called upon to take some grand stand of faith. He had put me in a situation where I simply had NO CHOICE!—Who else could I turn to in that isolated situation?
God didn't want to share the glory for what He was about to do!—Not with the doctors, & not even with me & my little faith. "I have My Hand on this," He seemed to be saying, "and you must all just yield to it & learn from it!"
Knowing that this was all the Lord's doing made it so much easier to trust Him. Though I was in such great pain, I had such sweet peace in my heart! I just knew that the Lord hadn't brought me to this mountaintop to forsake me!
A Possibly Fatal Affliction
During that first night, while everyone else was sleeping, the thought crossed my mind that this could be a tubal pregnancy that had ruptured. I didn't know much about that type of situation, but remembered that that was what Phoebe had died from. If that was what was happening to me, I knew that it was serious! (EDITOR'S NOTE: Phoebe was Josiah & Marianne's secretary, when she went to be with the Lord after a fallopian tube pregnancy that ruptured. Dad talks about seeing her in Heaven in "Heaven's Children" & she is mentioned in DB2, pg.77, & DB3, pg.360. GBH!)
As I lay awake, alone with the Lord, verses like, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (Job 13:15a) came so alive! I remembered that it had only taken one night of internal bleeding for Phoebe to go to be with the Lord. I kept dozing off throughout the night. I was quite numb because of the pain, so each time I'd wake up I'd feel myself to see if I was still alive. You can imagine how happy I was when the morning dawned & I realised that I was still there! The Lord had kept me through the night! PTL!
The next day I had another attack of severe pain—this time even worse than the first! I had believed that the Lord was already touching & healing me, so when I felt this pain it was a real test of faith for me. We all realised then that something very very serious was happening to me.
We also realised that if the Lord didn't do a miracle, & do one quickly, that it was going to really interfere with the Delegates' meetings which were to begin in only two days. The brethren had all just spent three days getting there—how could we send everyone home?
Instant Relief After United Prayer!
As we were discussing this, I had another attack of very severe pain. Adam & Ammi, who were helping us with the meetings, got together with the 30 delegates & explained the situation. They also shared some of the different things that we felt the Lord was trying to show us. We knew that everyone was very excited about the meetings, but perhaps the Lord wanted us to be DESPERATE & to grasp how very important this time was going to be in each of our lives.
Also, since one of the main meeting topics was to be prayer, we felt that perhaps the Lord wanted to use this situation to DEMONSTRATE for everyone the power that we have at our disposal!—THE POWER OF PRAYER! We knew that the Lord had something special for every one of us there!
No sooner had the delegates prayed for me & heard from the Lord for me, than the pains INSTANTLY went away! This was such a dramatic answer to prayer that it instantly gave me & those with me a tremendous surge of faith. We knew that the Lord was really in full control! Everything that was happening was ordained & planned by Him.
Jesus Showing His Power to Heal!
Before our arrival, some of the Family had prepared the meeting site & fixed up the room where we were staying. Directly across from the foot of my bed they had hung a quote Poster which read, "The greatest undeveloped resource is Faith, the greatest unused power is Prayer." Every time that I opened my eyes, I felt that Jesus was standing there & saying, "This is to help you." That simple quote was like God's direct Word, His answer for me!
But even more, we came to realise that this was the Lord's greatest lesson for all of us. God was going to do a miracle to show the power of prayer. I felt I was just a little tool in His hands to show what He could do.I really felt the need & the desire to have others pray for me, & I also felt the Lord blessing their prayers.
It was humbling for me to ask for prayer each & every time I got attacked with pains, but it was really the Lord's Will that we learn to fight together! At first I felt like I was burdening everybody, but soon I began to hear testimonies about how everybody felt so privileged to be fighting together, & how the Lord was using my affliction to stir them up.
He used my situation as an illustration, almost like a very sobering skit to impress on all of us not only the seriousness of the Prayerfulness Revolution, but also its tremendous potential. Every time others prayed for me, the pain would subside. My healing was a real live manifestation of God's power! As we began seeing more clearly how this was all part of His plan, it gave me more faith to continue petitioning the Lord & seeking the help of the Family. I certainly needed each & every prayer I received.
Before that second day ended, there was still one more serious test of faith. As I was being helped to the toilet, those with me remarked how white I looked. (Although we didn't know it, I had been bleeding internally.) The next thing I knew, Cephas & Ammi were bending over me, praying desperately & trying to get me to wake up. I had fainted! It seemed they thought that perhaps this was the end of my earthly life, but TTL, I revived!
The Third Day—Resisting Fear!
During the first two days the Lord had spoken through prophecies of the brethren & we had all been on the attack. By the third day, though, I was feeling very very tired & wondered how much more I could take. I felt so weak physically & my faith was weakening too.
As the day went on & the pains remained, I got attacked with fear. I doubted & voiced my doubts. But God bless Cephas & his simple childlike faith, as he proclaimed to me without hesitation, "Well, we're just going to have to trust the Lord!" That simple declaration of faith spoken with such conviction woke me up to the fact that there was really no other recourse against this attack of the Enemy. I couldn't do it. WE couldn't do it. The LORD was going to have to do it!
That day was very special. Cephas really went on the ATTACK in the Spirit, REBUKING fear, rebuking the DEVIL, RESISTING the Devil & CLAIMING THE WORD! That gave me such a boost in the Spirit!—It was as if someone had given me a big shot of faith & power! I started praying with him & rebuking the Devil, & I just KNEW then without a shadow of a doubt that God WAS going to do it.
At that point, I think I started to truly realise the POWER of fighting in the Spirit! As Dad has taught us, there are some things that you just can't be passive about, & you can't just pray a little prayer, whisper a little prayer, but there are times you have to really FIGHT in the Spirit & FI
ght in prayer. (See "Desperate Prayer", DB 1, pg.28.) This was such a time!
The Devil was getting in, making me doubt & fear, making me lose faith. Our only hope was to go on the attack!—But as soon as we did, Jesus gave us power for the hour! At that point, the Enemy fled! We both really felt then that I was healed.
Fourth Day: Beginning the Meetings by Depending on His Strength!
The fourth day, we had an important decision to make: Were we going to go through with the Keynote Speech that was planned for that evening? God bless dear Cephas—he still didn't understand the serious state I was actually in physically, so he just said, "TTL, you're healed! Let's start the meetings!"
His ignorance of the circumstances & his childlike faith really encouraged me. I was beginning to feel a little better & was quite excited that the Lord was healing me. By faith I went to the meeting & we did the Keynote Speech.
At this Keynote Meeting, I was able to share some of the lessons that the Lord was speaking to me about—lessons about my self-righteousness & my need to be willing to show myself to be weak, how I knew it was the Lord humbling me so that everyone would know that it was only Him through His Word & by the power of prayer that the meetings could have such an effect in people's lives.
Because we didn't know a lot of the brethren in India very well, & perhaps they were a little nervous being around us as new leadership, we felt that the Lord wanted to unite us all by showing them how frail & human we were—that we were nothing & He was everything!
It was very humbling for me to come limping in to the meeting, needing people to carry me & wait on me, & needing pillows to prop me up. But it also put me in the position I'm sure the Lord wanted me to be in—that of being more dependent on Him, & weaker in my own strength.
Here we were giving this Keynote Speech, but I was depending on their prayers to see me through. The Lord melted us all together, TYJ! Afterwards, people kept commenting to me, "It's so encouraging to see you weak."
Small Christian Clinic Gives Diagnosis
The following day, which was actually the fifth day I had been in this condition, someone remembered that they had once heard that there was a tiny, rather primitive Christian hospital at the top of the hill, about 45 minutes away. Since I was feeling a bit better, we all felt that it would be best to make a trip there to confirm that the Lord was indeed healing me, & see if we could get a diagnosis about what had happened.
As we journeyed up the mountain, we began seeing signs by the side of the road saying, "Jesus loves you" and "Jesus saves," etc. When we reached the top of the mountain we found that the little village is 98% Christian! It's an amazing place as the spirit is so different from most of the other parts of India—like a candle in the midst of gross darkness! Everyone's face is bright & clear.
We made our way to their tiny hospital & found it even more primitive than we had imagined! The local people are all too poor to pay for treatment or medicine. You can just imagine what the cleanliness standard was like.—It was all by faith! But the people running it were very sweet, & the doctor was a real Christian herself.
After taking a blood test, she became extremely concerned & said that she believed that I had had a fallopian tube abortion. (This is a little different from a fallopian tube rupture, in that the fertilised egg had lodged itself at the end of the fallopian tube near the ovary. As it grew, it had pushed itself out of the tube by the ovary, which meant that it hadn't actually ruptured the tube, but it still had caused internal bleeding.)
She gave this diagnosis because of the fact that I was still alive & even up & walking. It was too miraculous for her to believe that my tube had ruptured. My blood count was extremely low, she explained, past the danger line, & she had no way of diagnosing whether or not I was continuing to bleed. But judging by the fact that I was up & walking, she didn't think I was.
She said I needed an operation immediately, but my blood count was so low she couldn't do the operation even if I wanted it, nor put me under anaesthesia as I probably wouldn't live through it. I would need a blood transfusion to survive the operation & since she had no AIDS-tested blood, nor any advanced equipment there, she pretty much insisted that I go to the closest larger town where I could get an ultrasound test to confirm the diagnosis, & then have an operation.
That was a four-hour drive down the mountain! Again my faith was put to the test, as I had felt that I was getting better. Now she was throwing out to me the possibility that I might still be bleeding internally although she couldn't confirm it one way or the other. Because my blood count was so dangerously low, she said I might even pass out.
Need for Operation Confirmed, but in a Heathen Atmosphere
We decided to go to the larger city for an ultrasound test & a confirmation of her diagnosis. I was still in quite a bit of pain. The roads were extremely bad, & it seemed the long bumpy jeep ride would never end. When we finally arrived at our destination, we found this town just as the Indian brethren had described it! It is probably one of the most Hindu towns in all of India, filled with demonic temples, & it carries an extremely heavy spirit of confusion, darkness & filth. As I lay in the back of our jeep & we made our way through the crowded streets, we were constantly surrounded by men who peered in at me with their dark, blank stares!
Eventually we found the ultrasound clinic & as we approached it, I couldn't help but wonder, "Do they really have an ultrasound machine in that place?" They did. The machine itself was quite an antique contraption, with an old 35mm. camera strapped in place to take the picture.
From the tests the doctor said that I had had a tubal pregnancy which had ruptured! He also confirmed that I was not continuing to bleed. There was just no way, he explained, that after this many days I could still be walking if I was bleeding internally. Miraculously, he said, my body had stopped the bleeding! A blood clot the size of a baseball had shown up on my ultrasound test!
He, of course, suggested that I see a gynecologist immediately & go through with the operation. Leaving the ultrasound clinic we drove around, trying to find a good doctor or hospital without success. It was very hot & dirty, & the spirit of that town was so oppressive, so draining.
Finally it dawned on us that what we were doing just didn't seem to be the Lord's way! We booked into a hotel & the two boys decided to go out & continue the search, while we girls rested & prayed about what to do next. The idea of putting myself into the hands of a very Hindu doctor in this very Hindu town got me even more desperate.
The Battle to Decide to Take the Stand of Faith!
Sweet Ammi was my companion. We read from the "Word Basics" on "Faith & Trust", "Prayer" & "Healing", which was very encouraging & inspired me. Then we went to the MOP on "Healing", & it really knocked me for a loop because Dad just really lays it on the line! I've read that section on healing many times, but it's really different when you're in the middle of the battle & you don't know if you're going to make it or not! I had to ask myself then, "Do I really believe the Word?"
I've never had any major battles with doubts about any of the basic doctrines & beliefs of the Family, but suddenly I had to ask myself, "Do I believe this?" I wanted to believe it, but it was kind of a shock to me that it didn't come easy. I had to face the fact that it just wasn't in me to take the stand of faith naturally or to believe that God alone could do it, without anybody else's help.
Prayer for an Infilling of Faith!—Faith Cometh from the Word!
This became a very special time for me, though humbling in a way, as I realised that I am not as strong as I had thought. I didn't have as much faith as I had thought I had. Believing that the Lord could heal me didn't come as easy as I thought it would—to just believe without any doubts, without any reservations, without any hesitation. As I came face to face with my own limitations, I saw that it all had to be the Lord.
We prayed for an infilling of faith & as we read on, the Lord did it! Never had I had the Word speak so clearly & come so alive to me. I felt the Lord's presence so very near. Verses like, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" became very meaningful to me.
I saw the beauty in our battles, as such trials truly make the written Word become the living Word. Sometimes that's the only way the Lord can make the Word come alive to us. Just as Jesus "learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Heb.5:8), we learn obedience & we learn the Word, the depth of the Word, through the things that we go through.
When the boys came back they had found a few doctors, but at this point I just knew that the Lord was really with me & was going to see me through. I felt a real peace in my heart as I proclaimed, "I don't have the faith to see them. I'd rather go up & be with our Family up in the mountains & trust that the Lord's going to continue His healing process."
I also felt that if an operation was indeed necessary, He would raise my blood count & I would have more faith for the sweet Christian lady at the clinic in the mountains to do the operation, despite the physical conditions. So the next morning, by faith, we got into the jeep & drove the 4-hour trip back up the mountain.
During this trip home, I couldn't stop marvelling at the power of the Word—how our faith really does come from reading the Word! It wasn't something that I had naturally. I'm not that strong in the area of faith for healing, as I haven't had my faith tested much along those lines during all my time in the Family. So now I knew that it was only the power of the Word that was giving me the faith to trust the Lord.
Christian Doctor Agrees to Natural Healing!
Everyone that the boys had talked to said that an operation was inevitable, so as I went the next day to see the sweet Christian doctor in the small village nearby, I began to prepare my heart that even though the Lord had done a miracle & kept me thus far, I might still have to go through with the operation. But as she checked me & read over the report that I had received from the ultrasound, she said that even though the man who did the ultra-sound felt my tube had ruptured, she still felt it was a tubal abortion as it was just all so miraculous. Because of her diagnosis, she felt I could heal naturally.
I wasn't really sure what had actually happened to me, but I was overjoyed that she was saying I could possibly heal naturally, which is what the Lord had already been telling us. GBH, she didn't prescribe any medicines, only God's natural healing process & lots of rest & good food, especially fresh vegetables, liver & meat. She also explained that all my water needed to be boiled to help guard against infection, as that would be the next battle that we would face. God bless this precious woman & her very dedicated staff!
The Sacrificial Support & Prayers of My Teamworker
And God bless dear Cephas who really fought by my side! We have been teamworking for several years now & we have had our share of battles & ups & downs, but this situation brought us together as never before. PTL! It was obvious that the Lord was working on me, so I knew I needed to look to Him & Him alone, but still Cephas was very very precious & very kind.
At one point I had expected him to leave me in the hands of other dear ones so that he could concentrate more on the meetings, as that really was a need. Instead, he chose to stand by me & took on the role of a servant. He read to me, sometimes for hours on end, & he rubbed my feet.
He took time to come & counsel with me, & didn't try to just go ahead & do things on his own. Even though I was very very slow in our counselling together, slow at coming to any decisions, nevertheless he went slow enough to have us fighting this together. I really grew to respect & love him more than ever at this time. He was such an encouragement & strength to me!
(From Cephas: The Lord called me to be by her side.—And that meant not just praying a heavy prayer once, but sometimes every five minutes. It was a time of continual desperation & there was no letting up. Before the meetings started, I had been hoping to share heavy notes & lessons etc., with the delegates, but now instead of coming in riding a big white horse to press the magic "play" button on the video so that the meetings could start, my job was to take care of Endureth.
(But from the beginning, the Lord assured us that the meetings would go on. We had the videos of our previous meetings which we had already planned to share, we also had notes of previous meetings which could be read or shared by others. So our actual presence was not as needed as we had thought.
(As time went on, I saw that Mama had learned to be what she is by just taking care of one person—not necessarily in a time of real victory, but in a time of real battle. We read the Letter, "Precious Prayers & Promises for Mama's Eyes", & I started to realise that the sample shown in this Letter is their life.—Dad & Mama fight together daily for the Family & for Dad's health. Alone in their little room, they are serving God by their prayers.
(Likewise, there in our little bedroom, we had to pray for every little situation. We had to call in the different room captains repeatedly to pray in our room. But as we prayed, people got victories! Without being counselled, they just got victories from the Word. In one situation, we felt some people needed to confess their NWOs. We prayed for them & then the next day they were the first ones up confessing exactly everything that we had been concerned about & prayed for.)
Lessons for All as Jesus Did It!
The Lord was making sure that we understood, by taking us enough out of the picture, that He wanted all the credit for those meetings. Every day for the next three weeks we hel
d meetings, & the Lord came through beautifully. Eventually I began feeling quite a bit stronger, yet every day was a battle as the pains continued to come & go, though not nearly as severe as before.
Of course, I wanted to be healed a lot more quickly than the Lord was doing it. I really wanted to be back on my feet & feeling stronger again. I was looking forward to the battle letting up a bit, but it seemed that the Lord had other plans.Every day was a test of faith for me to keep trusting the Lord. I kept getting the verse, "The trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold" (1Pet.1:7), & realised that this trying of my faith was really a compliment from the Lord. I was so weak in the physical! I had nothing to give in the natural. I had to claim the verse that, "When I am weak, then am I strong!" (2Cor.12:10b)—And I just want to testify that He really came through! He did it!
The whole meeting was begun in prayer & won through prayer, & even my being there at all was only because of prayer & the Lord's mighty answer to prayer! It was just amazing how the Lord kept me. I was a walking example of the power of prayer. The Prayerfulness Revolution came more alive through this graphic illustration than through any classes or talks we had planned to give.
Another Test!
On another visit to the sweet Christian doctor, she wanted to do another blood test, as well as another PG test to confirm that I was no longer pregnant. She explained that in rare cases when the foetus is pushed out of the end of the fallopian tube, it actually survives & attaches itself to another organ! This could lead to serious complications later.
My blood count was up, which was good news, but my PG test was positive! When I told her my test results, she was on her way to visit another patient, but she just stopped in her tracks! She sat down with me to explain all the possibilities & two young American medical missionaries heard the explanation as well. It had now been three weeks since I had first begun bleeding. How could I still be pregnant?
One of the missionaries exclaimed, "I've got it! Twins! That's it! And one of them survived!" I couldn't help but pray, "Lord, I'm not sure I'm ready for this! What are You doing in my life?" Then the doctor explained the other possibility: That the pregnancy hormones could still be there, even though I was no longer PG. The PG test that she had given me was very primitive, very simple, she said, so she suggested that I take a better test when I returned to Bombay. This really kept me desperate during the last half of the meetings. Even though the Lord had already done such a miracle, He needed to continue to do that miracle until I was completely healed. He had seen me through this far, & He wouldn't fail me now. Whatever happened would be part of His plan.
The Lord's Tangible Help! Our Family's Wonderful Testimonies!
I also want to testify that through all of this I never felt alone, I was never faced with having to make any decisions on my own. The Lord led me so sweetly & patiently every step of the way. At every step, every time we prayed or others prayed for me, though there was a test of faith, somehow He met me, & He helped me.
After the meetings finished, we travelled back to Bombay. The trip was quite strenuous & my faith was tested once more, as I began having pains again. I also knew I was going to need to visit another doctor to confirm that I was no longer PG.
I got out every FSM & worked my way through the stack, reading every healing testimony I could find.—And these testimonies gave me such a boost of faith! Like the quote, "Faith comes by hearing the Word!"—Even the encouraging words of our brothers & sisters!
The FSM healing testimonies made me realise just what a wonderful Family we have! And what faith they have! After reading about some of the things other dear ones have gone through, & the stand of faith they have taken, my own seemed so small by comparison. I had been in a place where there were no doctors to lean upon, so in a way I really had no choice. Also by the time my condition had been diagnosed, I had already stopped bleeding internally, but I read of another sister, who after reading the Letter "Trust God", had walked out of a hospital while still hemorrhaging! And the Lord had healed her!
I had been surrounded & upheld in prayer moment by moment by my loved ones, but another sister I read about had a fallopian pregnancy rupture while hitchhiking & had held on for five hours on the side of the road! As I read through those testimonies & prayed about my situation, I couldn't help but think that perhaps one reason why the Lord had allowed this in my life was for the encouragement of others. Not only was it drawing me closer to the Lord & His Word, but I felt He was doing it to encourage the faith of others, for the edification of the Body, because we may face more situations like this in the future. Through my healing, He was showing He can do it!
The Next Step in the Walk of Faith
Right away the lady doctor in Bombay suggested an operation, though she agreed to another ultrasound & pregnancy test first. After these, she was again quite adamant about the operation. I tried to tell her about all that God had already done, but she wouldn't listen. She seemed shocked that the other doctor had allowed me to continue without an operation. Unless I was operated on very very soon, she said, I would have another rupture & probably bleed to death.
As I said earlier, I had already prepared my heart that I might yet need an operation, still I was quite uneasy about this doctor's attitude & felt she was making a snap judgment of my situation. I didn't want her to bowl me over with her facts & fears, because I knew the Lord had done a miracle.
God bless Ammi, she spoke up to the doctor & said, "You've told us the worst—now tell us the best!"—And the doctor said that the blood clot might dissolve itself, & I might heal naturally. Since I was already booked to return home in only a few days, the doctor conceded that since I had made it this long, I could probably make it a few more days in order to have the operation at home.
This was like the Lord's next little step in His plan. He was continuing to lead me every step, but I could just see one step at a time. It was all just a matter of patience & faith & waiting on Him.
The Doctor's Battle in the Spirit
Back home, I went to get another opinion, this time with a doctor at a Christian hospital where the Family has had mainly good experiences. But again, upon hearing my story, the doctor made a very quick decision that an operation was absolutely necessary. At this point, I wasn't sure that I really had the faith to make such a major stand of faith against all these doctors' counsel. But I also knew that I had to keep trusting the Lord & looking to Him.
Though this doctor hardly looked at the results of my previous tests, nor the other doctors' reports, he did suggest another ultrasound. I got the ultrasound results first, & reading them myself I could see that this test was confirming almost everything that I had tried to tell him, that is, that I had had a tubal pregnancy that had either ruptured or aborted, & that I had bled internally, but that the blood had clotted.
The lady analysing the ultrasound test couldn't find any evidence of a foetus anywhere, which was still one of the doctor's main worries. In only three days since my last ultrasound test, my blood clot had gone down dramatically in size!—What would have normally taken several months!
The Lord Answers Prayer for the Doctor to Change His Mind
The Lord prepared me that seeing these test results was going to be quite humbling for the doctor, as it was so contrary to all he had been saying. As we showed him the results, he became extremely quiet, then asked me for all my other reports. For the first time he read them slowly & thoroughly. I sensed a major battle going on inside of him, as he tried to put the pieces together & understand it all.
Because this man is a Christian, & at this hospital they really do try to proclaim their belief in the Lord, I prayed silently for him that he'd really hear from the Lord. I desperately prayed, asking the Lord to help him humble himself & be honest & not to try to retaliate or cover up or come back with all sorts of doubts. If there was a chance that I could heal naturally, I wanted to hear it from him.
After looking at all my records for quite a long time, he asked if I could come back the next day for the final results of my blood test. As sweetly & humbly as I could, I asked him, "Well, doctor, how do things look now? Is there a chance that I could heal naturally?" He looked at me & answered honestly, "I don't really know. I've never done that."—Meaning that once a case is diagnosed to be a tubular pregnancy, they operate immediately.
What had happened to me was entirely new to the doctor. He was almost speechless. Then he confessed, "Yes, it is possible," and we left his office really praising the Lord!
The next day when we returned for the blood test results & his final diagnosis, I was again prepared for him to insist on an operation. To our complete amazement he asked me, "What would you like to do?" I couldn't help but laugh & say, "Doctor, that's quite a change from yesterday. What do you mean, `What would I like to do?' What do you suggest?" He looked at me & said, "Well, you've come this far!"—meaning that there was definitely the possibility that God could continue the healing process & see me all the way through! It was such a miracle! We could hardly believe the change in his attitude!
Slowing Down as Part of the Lord's Plan
The doctor did explain that compared to the operation, natural healing would be a much slower process, but we could see that even that was part of God's plan! I know He wants me to go slower, draw closer to Him & be more dependent upon Him, more dependent upon the power of prayer, rather than upon natural abilities or any strength of the flesh.
The doctor also gave me some very good warning signs to watch for, such as dizziness or pain, either of which could mean that the blood clot had dislodged & bleeding had resumed. But he assured me that within another month or even less, the possibility of that would become minimal. TTL for His healing power!
At the end of our last appointment, the doctor himself testified that it was truly a miracle that I was sitting there in his office so healthy & whole, PTL!
The Lord's Grace & Mercy Greater than the Tests!
I can only rejoice over all that He has done in my life, & thank Him for this experience! Though it was a rough & rugged road at times, somehow His grace & His mercy & His Love & His peace were so much greater than the tests, that I felt so loved & so cared for the whole time. The Lord was so good to me, so sweet & so merciful, giving me real peace during this time.
I can't say that I never doubted that the Lord would heal me. Sometimes I thought this could be the end of my earthly life & I was going to be with the Lord. But through it all, I always felt that He was right there by my side, holding my hand. Every time I was struck with fear or came to a crisis point, He pulled me through & made it easy for me to do the right thing, to go in the right direction or to keep trusting Him.
I didn't of myself have the faith or trust, He simply gave it to me at the moment of every decision. It was a gift. He never made it too hard for me! I never felt that He was really angry at me—to the contrary I felt privileged, knowing that this was one of His "intolerable compliments". I knew that He loved me & that this affliction was going to bring forth good fruit in my life.
The Lord Is in Our Afflictions
In "Precious Prayers & Promises for Mama's Eyes", Dad encourages Mama that the Lord is in her afflictions. "Close your eyes & think of Me, & I can give you every answer to every problem." (ML#2509:57-58) And Dad prays for us all, "God bless & help you all to do this in these Last Days." (par.63) We don't have the same calling that Mama has, but I am beginning to realise that He does want us to go more in that direction, of realising how weak we are in our own strength, & taking more prayer time, & being more dependent on the Lord to do this work.—Even if it means we get a little more afflicted & a little weaker. Praise the Lord!
Because of Mama "closing her eyes", we now have all the lessons she has learned & shared with us. Because she is praying more & hearing more from the Lord, the Lord is working in many people's lives in many different areas, getting us all to the point where we really depend more on Him.—Even if He has to get us weaker in the flesh in order to get us stronger in the Spirit!—Praise the Lord!
I'm now feeling whole & healthy with no discomfort or pain! What a miracle! I love you & hope this testimony is a blessing & inspiration to you!
—From the HCS, Pacific
The Lord miraculously healed one of our JETT girls, Happy (13 years old), of a serious illness!—A tremendous demonstration of the Lord's power to heal!
It started one afternoon while she was working in her JETT ministry, a childcare group of three to five-year-olds. All of a sudden, she doubled over from a sharp pain in her right side. She could barely move or walk at all. Since the pain was so sharp, we asked everyone in the Home to stop everything & pray for her right away. Soon after prayer, the pain lessened & eventually stopped completely.
Our first thought was that it was an appendicitis attack, as she had had problems with this before. We found out that she hadn't had a BM in a few days, as she has also had battles often with being constipated, & that she had also eaten some foods which especially aggravate the appendix. These were good lessons for us to get back on the ball about the JETTs' health charts & especially about checking up on those who have problems along those lines.
JETTs Uniting in Prayer for Happy
That night she slept very well, & by morning was ready to join the group again. Then, in the middle of Word class, she again got an attack of this strong pain. Immediately, all the JETTs gathered around her & started praying in tongues for her & rebuking the Enemy with all of their hearts!—Many of them taking up the lead in praying for her & laying hands on her!
As she had more attacks of pain, the JETTs really united in praying for her, rebuking the Devil each time. The Lord gave them lots of verses to stand on, visions, & prophecies about her healing! The verse which came up the most often was 1Pet.5:8—"Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the Devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour." The Lord really poured through the JETTs during that time, which was an inspiration for them too!
Hospital Stay
After two & a half days of having these very sharp pains in her side off & on, we decided to take her to the hospital for a check-up. After various tests, the doctors found that it wasn't her appendix after all, but that she had several big KIDNEY STONES, about two cm.in size, which were causing her the pain. The doctors admitted her to the hospital & put her on an IV (intravenous feeding).
We were quite relieved & thankful to find out that it wasn't her appendix, but nonetheless we were still desperate for her healing, as she was in a lot of pain.
The doctors were quite amazed that she had kidney stones, as it's very unusual for children to have them, especially that size. They continued to do different tests on her to try & find out why she had the stones. But they never could come to an exact conclusion, despite all they tried. After a couple of days, the pain stopped coming in such sharp attacks, but was more steady & dull.
The Lord worked it out for Happy to have a smaller room with not so many people & it had an extra cot, so that someone could stay with her & fight by her side, as it seemed she'd be there for awhile. When the nurses asked why a child her age had to have someone stay with her, we explained that we felt it was better not to leave her alone, that we could comfort her & help her, & also that we could continue her studies while she was in the hospital. They seemed to understand this & were sweet about it.
We witnessed to quite a few people, made several friends with different children in the ward, & several souls got saved, TTL! In the meantime we were all praying DESPERATELY for a miracle & specifically that the stones would DISAPPEAR or DISSOLVE.
Healing Miracle Confounds Doctors!
After a few days of testing, the doctors decided they would try the magnet treatment, placing two magnets on either side of her kidneys (on the outside of her body) and sending an electric shock through it, which would break the stones & then they'd pass out of her body. In preparing to do this treatment, they checked for the stones, but to their amazement, they were completely gone! There was no trace of them whatsoever!
The stones had totally disappeared! The doctors were quite confounded, as they couldn't figure out WHERE they'd gone or WHY they'd disappeared so fast! (Of course, we all KNOW what happened to them!—God dissolved them in answer to prayer!) This was quite a testimony to the doctors & they couldn't figure it out!
Since the stones were gone, there was no more need for Happy to stay in the hospital, so we were able to take her home & in a couple of days she was soon back to normal! TTL!
It was interesting to see that the doctors weren't really sure about how to heal her. All they could really do was diagnose what she had & give us suggestions or guesses about what to do. The Lord just disintegrated the stones & they were gone! Just to prove that "I am the Lord, the God of all flesh"—Another proof of God's power! PTL!!
—FROM MARIANNE, PACIFIC
As Happy was hospitalised for nearly two weeks, Lydia (her grandmother, our faithful queen who has become a fulltime Family Member) spent a lot of time with her at the hospital, staying with her for several nights. There was a lady in the same room as Happy who was in very serious condition. She was unable to eliminate in any way & consequently she was unable to absorb any food except peach juice. She hadn't eaten solid food for six months, & was rapidly fading away, doing nothing all day long but sleeping. It seemed she had given up & was just waiting to die.
Lydia was able to lead her to the Lord, & daily she prayed for this woman. Lydia wanted to lay hands on her kidneys, but apparently Happy opposed her doing this, & argued with her about it, probably because she was worried about what others would think of Lydia. Finally Lydia took a stand anyway, & laid hands on the lady's kidney.
When Lydia was praying for this lady, she felt a real pain & heat in her hands & the lady felt a strong pain in her kidneys as Lydia really rebuked the Enemy, after which the lady felt really relieved! Miraculously the lady was able to eliminate for the first time in months, then urinate & she started to be able to eat! Within a couple of days she was walking all around the hospital, testifying to everyone that she had been healed!
The doctors themselves said it was a miracle, as they had kind of given up in her case. Lydia was quite thrilled & she wants to follow up on this lady.
Lydia's Faith for Healing
I once experienced having a very bad stiff neck & shoulder ache, & Lydia heard about it & she decided she was going to pray for me. So we went into my room & she laid hands on me. She was praying very strongly, & I was praying strongly, too, & soon after the pain disappeared.
I think the Lord really honours Lydia's childlike faith, & because she expects the miracle & she sincerely wants to help people & bring them to the Lord, the Lord really honours her faith when praying for people's healing. She really wants to be used of the Lord & I feel that it's the way the Lord chooses to use her.
But Lydia also knows that when miracles happen (such as the lady in the hospital getting up & walking around testifying that she had been healed) she tends to get a bit lifted up & often afterwards something happens to humble hershe makes a big boo-boo, or she gets sick herself, or something. Then she has to confess that it was because she allowed the healing miracle to minister to her pride.
She has lots of weaknesses, which she is aware of, but the Lord also really uses her. I feel that her sincere & genuine desire is to glorify the Lord & to witness for Him using the gift that He has given her.
(Editor's note: TTL for such wonderful miracles of healing!Which can happen to any of us! What a blessing that whether we feel we have a gift of healing or not, we can all have the same access to the Lord's healing power through prayer that is full of faith! It's the Lord Who does it, & it's not anything of us.
(Whether you feel some special sensation in your hands or not, the Lord's power is being transmitted through you when you pray for someone to be healed, & it's the Lord Who's going to answer! He can do it! GB Lydia for her faith to take a stand & pray for this woman's healing, even in spite of her granddaughter's
objections! That's a good lesson for Happy & all of us to not stand in the Lord's way. Testimonies like this show how healing is a wonderful proof of the Lord's power & existence & can win many to Him forever!)
Copyright 1996 The Family