a) Larry Lilliston
Psychological Assessment of Children--
``Sex, Slander & Salvation'' Lilliston, Lawrence. 1994. Field observation of young people's experiences and role in The Family. In Sex, Slander, and Salvation. Investigating The Family/Children of God, edited by James R. Lewis and J. Gordon Melton 47-56. Stanford, California: Center for Academic Publication.

         ``…The basis for these charges lies in the testimony of ex-members who report that they were sexually abused as children in The Family. As supporting evidence, these ex-members frequently cite The Story of Davidito, typically referred to as the Davidito Book, which is a work describing the early life of David, the adopted son of founder and leader, David Berg, and the natural son of Berg's wife, Maria. Critics suggest that this book is a manual for sexual abuse of young children. It is worth noting that in all cases in which children have been removed from homes of The Family around the world, no evidence for sexual abuse has been found. The Davidito book does relate David's early witnessing of sexual behavior and encouragement to explore his own sexuality, and while these experiences would be characterized as sexually abusive or neglectful by most child abuse experts, there is no report of his having been actively molested or abused by adults. Moreover, there is no evidence of long-term negative effects on David. The first author, a clinical child psychologist with thirty years of experience recently administered a psychological evaluation to David, who is now nineteen, and found him to be a bright, well-adjusted, and emotionally strong young man. (pg. 50)

Notes & References
         The Story of Davidito (Zurich, Switz.: The Family of Love, 1982), especially the chapter entitled ``My Little Fish!'', has been frequently cited as further evidence of inappropriate childhood sexual contact. Leaving aside for the moment the question of one's agreement with the Family's child rearing practice, The Story of Davidito is quite consistent with the plainly stated policies articulated elsewhere. ``My Little Fish'' includes pictures of Davidito over the first three years of his life. He is shown cuddling with other children, exploring the breast of an adult woman, and baby-like sucking the breast of the same woman. There is no hint of sexual intercourse between adults and The Family's children. (pg 275) Ibid, page 275






The Children of God/The Family--Gordon Melton

         Even the Family's most radical period is not as unusual as one might think when viewed within the societal setting of the times. According to Palmer:

         Examined within the context of our postfeminist, politically correct age, the Flirty Fishing and Davidito        letters are inflammatory and in exceedingly poor taste. But it is important to understand them as        representing transient phases within the experimental process of this developing movement.
         One must consider that religious founders often display unconventional approaches to the moral dilemmas          and obsessions of their age, and an uncanny ability to predict future trends through setting up laboratories     of social, sexual and parenting from the COG days to the present might be analyzed as reflecting,        magnifying and occasionally even parodying social tensions and moral trends in the surrounding culture.

         Palmer suggested that Father David's most controversial communications represented a kind of performance art or show business, presented in deliberately shocking language that was intended to appeal to the countercultureinfluenced, rebellious youth who comprised COG's first generation. ``To arrest his disciples for sexually abusing their children on the basis of the Davidito book,'' she wrote, ``would be equivalent to arresting the audience of an Alice Cooper concert on the charge of infanticide, because they had listened to and applauded the (admittedly revolting) song in which Alice throws stones at a doll in a pram.'' (page 42)

         Between 1977 and 1978, the Family published a series of articles and released them in book form in 1982, which for years afterward, even when the book was officially withdrawn, would embroil the group in controversy, legal harassment, and the persistent charge that it condoned or practiced sexual abuse of children. The Story of Davidito was written by Sara, the woman primarily responsible for the rearing of the son born to Maria and adopted by David Berg. Seven hundred and fifty pages long and filled with photographs, it was part family album, biography, and baby book chronicling Davidito's formative years in a communal environment. Part of a much larger body of literature produced during this period on such practical matters as establishing a home and raising children, most of the content was innocuous. But some of it made for profoundly unsettling reading for people who held traditional views about acceptable behavior in adult-child relationships. About twenty pages of the text focused on the young boy's development in an environment of near-total sexual freedom in which Davidito witnesses intercourse and appears to have sexual access to the women of the group. (Page 30)

The Story of Davidito and two publications we discussed earlier, My Childhood Sex! -- Doing What Comes Naturally (1978) and Sex Questions & Answers were the most important documents originally presented to government authorities to substantiate the stories of ongoing sexual abuse in The Family's homes. Then, in October 1992, former Family members Ed Priebe and Dan Welch, posing as Family officials, entered a Family commune in Manila, the Philippines, and removed a large collection of materials, including, it was later discovered, several copies of the dance videos. (In 1987 Father David ordered these videos withdrawn and all copies destroyed, but some had been accidentally overlooked in storage in a Manila facility.) Included were several brief videos of children, including one of Berg's granddaughter Mene. Priebe released copies of these videos to the press and passed them to the authorities. Though showing no minors engaged in sex, the videos gave a clear picture of the sexualized atmosphere within at least part of the group.

         In the early 1990s, the Family leadership, with Maria's approval, ``purged the literature'' of a large number of Mo letters that contained material and teachings that were no longer acceptable, along with drawings that were considered inappropriate because of their sexual content. This purge included material on, for example, flirty fishing and some questionable statements about sexual behavior. Even earlier, in 1989, the Davidito book was dropped from the canon of Family literature. The effect of this was to remove the materials from all Family homes, make them inaccessible to Family members for review, and eliminate them as resources in developing the Family's contemporary perspective.
         The process of systematically reviewing the large amount of literature began as early as 1989 and continued through 1994. Additional purging has occurred periodically to the present. While these materials are relevant to understanding the Family in the 1980s, they no longer reflect its teachings and beliefs. Melton, Gordon. The Children of God``The Family'', Elle Di Ci, 1997.

         Millikin (1994) points out that The Family's present views and behavior regarding the sexuality of children cannot be judged on the basis of literature written prior to 1986-87. Before this time certain of Berg's writings openly discussed the sexuality of children. Notable among these is The Story of Davidito, a book written about Berg's wife's "Jesus baby" who was fathered during an episode of flirty fishing. Berg accepted the boy and raised him as his own. Most of the book is simply stories about the young boy. However, a portion deals with attitudes of The Family toward Davidito's sexual development, describing him as being involved in a wide range of sexual behavior with adults. It is this sort of material that has been behind most of the court cases. Millikin (1994) writes that he is of the opinion that "all sexual encounters between adults and children have ceased. Their present literature unequivocally rejects such behavior. Nevertheless, it can not be denied that children raised in Family homes, are subjected to sexual views and attitudes that are far more liberal than the average child, at least in America.'' Vogt, Nancy. Premature Sexual Activity--Determinants of Premature Sexual Activity in The Family: A Comparative Study. Graduate School of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary Pasadena, California, 1998

…I have been able to talk with several people within The Family who are known as key thinkers of the movement. This included an exchange of correspondence with David Berg. I have met Peter Amsterdam (who is Berg's executive administrator) on two occasions. These were 2-day sessions devoted almost entirely to the discussion of theology. I have recently begun a fascinating correspondence with Apollos who is regarded (with good reason) as the theologian of The Family (apart from Father David) and I have met Davidito, Berg and Maria's teenaged son, and had the opportunity to talk to him about the book, The Story of Davidito.6
         When reading the literature it is necessary to know its status and what response is expected to it, from the people within the group. A number of considerations need to be taken into account when assessing the normative significance of any piece of literature. There are levels of importance depending on when it was written, under what circumstances and who inspired it. It is not uncommon within the group for literature which was considered normative to be thrown away on the basis of a further revelation from David Berg. This is the situation for example with The Story of Davidito. Following the call to remove the book, some 6 years ago, there are only three copies left in Australia (I have one). There appear to be none in the UK.

…The years following this were ones of considerable sexual freedom within the group. All forms of sexual interchange outside of male homosexuality were allowed. It was around this time that the Story of Davidito was written in which instances of sexual contact between Maria's three-year old son and his young nanny Sara were mentioned. This was described enthusiastically as an ecstatic and important experience…

         It is clear from the literature and history of The Family that there were occasions when the sexual divisions between adults and children were blurred. I am aware of a number of instances where the literature led some Family members to explore the fullest dimensions of sexual freedom, even with children. But the literature in the last 7 years has unequivocally stated that any such involvement of children in adult sexual activity is banned. Since 1987, there has been a very much narrower view of the role of children in the sexual life of The Family. All acts of sexual activity between adults and children are punishable with excommunication, and there are at least two cases I personally know of where this has occurred.
         In the last two years, there have been raids against Family Homes in Spain, Australia, France and Argentina. In all cases the claim has been made that the children seized have been abused. Despite extensive examination and probing by police and others, no charge has been sustained. No one has been found guilty. The pattern established in Australia is now being repeated. More than 600 children around the world have been examined by authorities. Dozens of court-appointed psychologists, child abuse specialists and social workers have examined them at times for periods of up to seven days, and no one has produced any evidence to support the allegations that they have been sexually abused. It is significant that none of the children asked to be protected from The Family or confessed to any incidents of sexual abuse.
         In many of these raids The Family has been treated shamefully and with scant justice. I believe the ardour of those who accuse The Family of abusing their children is misplaced. In the absence of any evidence to support these charges, along with my extensive contacts with The Family, I believe the children are not being abused.
         C. Children and sex:
         In the matter of sex, Berg's concern for children is that they are taught that there is nothing sinful or shameful about their God-created bodies, including their sexual parts. Berg believes that sex is a natural need and expression which is given by God and must therefore be good. In a sense, the defence of freedom in all forms of human pleasure is a statement of the Gospel. It is the forces of darkness and the apostasy of the churches which have produced the guilt and restraints that destroy the true purity of sexual expression. He is also convinced, by the popular Freudian view, that the repression of sexual needs produces physical and emotional harm. It is also his view that cancer and other sicknesses can be caused by people living with the mistaken idea that sexual expression is wrong or bad.

         It is for this reason he insisted that the children be brought up in the group with no inhibitions with sex. This was one of the messages of The Story of Davidito. This is the most contentious publication to emerge from the group. It is a book of 750 pages which covers the birth and rearing of Davidito, the son of Maria and adopted son of David Berg. It has the appearance of a large and indulgent family album with numerous photos. It shows Davidito in the indulgent environment of The Family immediately around David Berg. Most of the book is given to stories of Davidito. But there are some 20 pages which deal with The Family's attitudes to Davidito's sexual development. It gives examples of the sort of sexual freedom which were sanctioned as acceptable in the life of the group. It describes him as being involved in a wide range of sexual behaviour with the adults. He watches couples having sexual intercourse in various situations. He is allowed sexual contact with the women around him.

When playing on the floor he'll oftentimes spread his legs open for me to kiss his penis (what we call his "penie"). He got to where he liked it so much he'd pull people [women] by the hand down onto the floor and would spread his legs apart for "the treatment". So we had to explain to him that there are a lot more important things in life than just sex, and a time and a place for everything! 98

         Material of this nature in The Story of Davidito is at the heart of the problem which The Family face in courts around the world. But the following arguments can be put in their defence. First, it is clear that this was an experiment which was tried by Berg and his household and briefly in several other Homes. One I know of was in the Music With Meaning group in Greece. But there is no doubt that most of The Family did not consider this to be appropriate for them. The purpose was not to provide an opportunity in which adults could find sexual gratification for themselves. Second: the book was removed from circulation in 1987 and prior to this was not read by a majority of the group. I had the impression on showing various sections of the book to group members in Sydney that they were seeing it for the first time. Third, it was not a book which carried the same authority as MO Letters and other direct communication from David Berg. It is written by Sara, one of the women close to Berg, who had primary responsibility for Davidito's mothering. It was first published as a series of individual chapters in 1977 and 1978, and these chapters were compiled and re-published as a book in 1982. David Berg's direct comments are infrequent. At the conclusion of the particular section dealing with Davidito's sexual activity, Berg makes a generalised statement about the goodness of sex, with a mild call for restraint:

God made children able to enjoy sex, so he must've expected them to! -- I did! -- All my life! -- Thank God! I love it! -- And it didn't hurt me any! Nearly all kids do anyhow, despite prohibitions! -- And the only reason the System frowns on it is that the churches have taught sex is evil! -- Which is contrary to the Bible! -- How could God-created sexual enjoyment be a sin? The System is really screwed up! God help us! They're the ones not normal. -- But "let not your good be evil-spoken of." -- So take it easy!

         Peter Amsterdam claims that this was a particularly experimental time which quickly passed and what happened with Davidito never occurred with Techi, the second of Maria's children:

         I've lived with the Folks for 15 years. The time those Davidito chapters were written was at Tenerife during     the FFing period. At that time that Home was pretty sexual. It was a new thing and it was being pioneered.       Once those chapters were written, you'll see that it doesn't continue in the Letters. Dad taught us what to      do and we did it. By the same token, that sexualised atmosphere of Tenerife changed considerably when    the Folks were no longer FFing in their personal Home. Maria had stopped regularly FFing by 1979 because         when I was there she didn't do it except once in South Africa. By the time they got kicked out of Tenerife       they were pretty selective after that. She may have been doing a bit more when they were in Spain or     Portugal. By the time they moved to Switzerland in March or April of 1978, she didn't do any except for the      one time in South Africa. My point is, from the time I was there, the Folks' Home was never highly       sexualised. For example, the Davidito book includes a picture of Timothy with Maria and the description of       them doing a love demo. I was never in any kind of situation like that with the Folks.
        
         I spent two days with Davidito in January 1994, and managed to question him at length about his sexual life. The resemblance to the photographs when he was 6 are unmistakable. He is 18 years old, and shows the Spanish influence of his biological father, who was a Tenerifan hotel employee that Maria FFed. He is a relaxed and easygoing young man, and has the Family habit of showing respect to his elders. He was unafraid of my questions and answered them reflectively and on occasional with moments of humour. There was no sense of tension or uncertainty. He enjoys the tussle of conversation and on a number of occasions over the cause of my conversations with Peter Amsterdam, he joined in with views that were not always according to Family orthodoxy. He is obviously used to being in a situation where he has been encouraged to question and argue, which he does in a way that indicates he has had practice.

         He said that the incidents recorded in the Story of Davidito were done for his benefit -- he said: "I was a test tube," and,

         [P]eople feel that the sexual activities I experienced occurred so much more than it really did. They believe it had a bigger emphasis and played a greater part in my upbringing than it did. If they think my early life revolved around sex, it's going to seem very weird, but I know that wasn't the case, so it was not such a big deal to me.

We wanted them [the children] to have no inhibitions. It was the style of that period and in some ways we were like hippies. We never either encouraged or discouraged sexual contact between the children. And sexual contact was never encouraged between adults and children. But it was looked upon as "cute" during the Davidito time, whether it was kids expressing themselves or whatever. But now we have changed and my own kids are grown up. They were only small then. Since that time I still want the kids to have a natural outlook towards sex, and I am sure we are a lot freer than most people, but now it is more discouraged… (end of excerpts from Millikan)

f) Jim Chancellor
Life in The Family--An Oral History of the Children of God

         In early 1979 The Family took a significant leap along this path. Father David had long held that sex was a beautiful, natural creation of God. In exploring how this principle might relate to children, he sent out Letters detailing his early childhood sexual experiences, the sexual curiosity and sexual education of Maria's three-year-old son Davidito, and directives for adults to allow children full freedom to express their natural sexual inclinations. Father David did not issue any clear instructions that mandated sexual contact between adults and children. However, form 1978 to 1983, he and the entire Family were exploring the outer limits of sexual freedom. Most disciples were aware that sexual contact between adults and children was occurring in the King's household. Some disciples interpreted certain MO Letters as encouraging sexual contact between children and allowing for sexual interplay of adults with minors. It is not possible to determine the extent or degree of this activity, but it was not merely a localized phenomenon. Chancellor, James D. 2000. Life in the family: An oral history of the Children of God. Syracuse, New York: Syracuse University Press.

(end of excerpts)