PERSONAL LETTERS!--No.5
COMFORT TO A SINGLE MOM!--An Important Message to All!
Maria #260 DO 2979 3/95
From R.:
Dearest Mama,
1. God bless you! I really love you! This is my first time to write you personally. I always wanted to say how much I love you and appreciate you for being a most loving shepherdess and queen to us. Since I've been reading your "Personal Letters" series, I feel much closer to you, and it's given me courage to write you about myself. You are the sweetest person I have ever known! When I think about you, it makes me almost cry. I can feel your heart is so full of love and compassion for others. I'm sorry that you have had to suffer with your affliction for so long, but I remember how you said, "I'd rather not be healed if my affliction helps me to stay closer to the Lord." I think you are a very brave woman.
2. My name is R., and I'm a single mom with seven children. I became a single when my mate became a TRF Supporter a couple of years ago. I never realized what it was all about being a single mom until I finally became one. I had loneliness trials and worried about my future at the beginning, but the Lord kept me going until now. I've been working as one of the teamworkers here. Even though I have so many weaknesses, for some reason He has kept me in this responsibility. I want to be useful for the Lord's work, but I've been having constant battles and trials for a few months.
3. I was involved in a love relationship with one of the teamworkers who was married, and I have his baby. About one year ago his family moved to another area for their new mission. Then after several months they came back here to open up a new Home, and they brought a single mom with them who has two older children. They have a close relationship now, especially his wife and the single mom. When his wife had to travel around for her ministry, someone needed to help him and his children. So I understand how it naturally happened and was the Lord's setup to work together between them.
4. During the SWIFT I was pretty desperate to find the will of God. I had a burden to work here, since I know our contacts and friends closely, but my desire was also to work with him again, so I needed to make sure if it was the Lord's will or not. At that time I made a decision to stay and help here, which I believe was the Lord. But at the same time I knew it was going to be tough to accept their close relationship and forsake our past.
5. I know that I need to stay close to Jesus more than anything. I think the Lord is trying to strengthen my weaknesses and make me a stronger vessel, but I've been falling into jealousy trials so often, since I don't have a close relationship with anyone like they do right now. Also, I still love him a lot. I wish this feeling would go away to make it easier for me, but the feeling is so strong, I feel that I can't handle it so well any more. Also it hurts my pride, that once I was loved, but now I'm not. I get into a negative channel and analyze things with my own way of looking at them. I feel so lonely too. I'm almost giving up fighting against it because it's constantly coming back. It hinders the work and hurts their feelings too, when they aren't trying to give me a trial. They try to encourage me to keep going and put Jesus first and forget the past, but it's not so easy!
6. I know it's not right to feel this way. But it's been bothering my heart for a long time. Maybe it's time to move somewhere else, if the battle is too tough for me to overcome. Or maybe He wants me to accept this situation and not compare with others and to get a total victory over it.--To search my heart about what I'm here for again.
7. There is a quote by Peter that says, "One of the easiest ways to get the victory over jealousy is yieldedness! The reason it's so hard is that you're fighting against what the Lord is doing. You're not yielded. I've found that if you just face it and yield to what is happening and yield to the Lord, that it's a lot easier! It's the fighting against what's happening that makes it so bad! It's like you're saying, `I don't want it to be this way, I think it should be that way!'--And that's murmuring and a lack of yieldedness to what the Lord is doing!" ("Jealousy and Yieldedness!"--Peter #34, DB3). That's so true! Yieldedness is the key word for me.
8. I'm so sorry to bother you with pouring out my personal trials which aren't so inspiring to hear, I just wanted to ask you to pray for me if you can. I feel so ashamed of myself, when some other people are going through much bigger battles, and I should be busy for the Lord and forget about myself. I've been reading your Letters like "Love Relationships with the Lord and Others" (Maria #60, DB3), etc., and it helps me to see why the Lord has put me in this lonely situation. Also the Lord encouraged me to read one of Dad's old Letters, "Prayer for a Queen" (ML #181). Each time I read it, it convicts me about how selfish and self-centered I am.
9. Some time back Faithy visited and I had a chance to talk to her; she showed me a lot of love and understanding. I was going through loneliness trials, since my mate had left us about three or four months before that time. She prayed for me and asked the Lord to give her some encouraging Word for me. Then she got the verse, "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart" (Psa.37:4). That was really encouraging to me. God bless her!
10. Well, I want to trust the Lord to stick to His promises, although I'm not sure how He is going to give me the desires of my heart, but I guess that I have to wait patiently until His time comes. I'm sorry if this is not so clear to you, because I'm not telling you all the details and I'm not so strong in English. But I thought that you could understand my feelings and pray for me to overcome my battles.
11. Thank you again for being a sweet shepherdess to me. I'm praying for you daily. I don't mind not receiving an answer from you, since you have a very important job to take care of. I really love you and appreciate you!
--With lots of love and prayers, R.
Reply from Mama, 3/95:
Dear Sweet R.,
12. I love you, dear one. When reading your precious letter, my heart went out to you. Peter and I prayed together for you, and following is my prayer, and the prophecy we received for you. I believe the Lord means it to be the solution to your problem, as well as the answer to similar problems that our other single moms are experiencing.
Love, Mama
13. ({\ul \i Mama prays:)} Lord, You know that R. is a dear sweet girl, a very special jewel. She's one of the few Japanese women who You have given the priceless privilege of being a member of the Family of David and who must be very dear indeed to Your heart. She's one of so few that have been gained at great cost from the Enemy's clutches. She's been faithful to You for years, Lord, and has stuck through very difficult times, and has borne these precious Japanese children for You, and is teaching them to love the Words of David and serve You and Your Family.--Each of these beautiful little children--precious, precious little ones--that can help to win the people of that nation that is so dear to You, whom You love so much, and for whom You died.
14. This dear mommy feels like giving up as it's such a struggle, and it's such a heartbreak. Every day she is just barely hanging on. Her battles threaten to overwhelm her. Jesus, we want to ask You to give her words of comfort and encouragement and help in her time of need. She doesn't know what is going to happen to her now, what she is going to do. Her heart is broken because of a love that she has had that now has turned to someone else, right there in front of her, so obvious all the time.
15. She is so lonely and she needs Your help. She needs to know the great love with which You love her and the great concern You have for her, and how You're going to help her and pull her through these battles. We need her and we want her to be happy and challenged and fruitful for You, and not just barely making it, barely struggling through.
16. So many of our single mommies are like this with so many fears and hurts and heartaches and loneliness. Jesus, please be close to them and speak to them, especially to our sweet mommy, R., who loves You and wants Your will and wants to do what You want her to do. Help her, Lord.
Prophecy:
17. "How glorious are the crowns of those who struggle through difficult hardship, through desperation, through dismay and through fear, and yet carry on. For these are like the widow who cast in her last mite, and they feel as if they have no more. But they know not the great and wonderful honor that I will bestow upon them for their sacrifice and for their willingness to hold on and to trust Me, though all around it seems that I have failed them. And though they feel that I have failed them, yet they trust Me. What honor I will bestow upon them, for great is their faith.
18. "So great is My love for these, the widows, the forsaken ones, who stood strong when their mates weakened and left. Or those who sent their husbands off to war and stayed behind. Those whose husbands went down the path of My will, and as this path separated, it caused one to go one way and one to go another.
19. "I know and I feel for the hardship of these, the widows. But I say unto you, great is their reward in Heaven, and great is the honor that I bestow upon them for their love for Me, and great is My love for them.
20. "But these ones are not truly widows, for they are married unto Me, and I am a husband to them. I care for them and I love them, and I provide for them and would provide for them, but My provisionment is limited to the yieldedness of those around them. For have I not made My will clear through the Words of David that these are all your children, and that you are all married to one another?
21. "For I would that all the widows be as married. I would that all the Family be as married to one another, that there would be no divisions and no contention; that those who have, share that which they have to make up the lack of those who have not. And I say, husbands and wives, share with those who have lost. And I say, those of you who have not, share with others who have not, or those who have lost, that all your needs may be supplied.
22. "For I expect you, My children, to live the great law, the Law of Love, in all aspects.--Sharing and giving and supplying each other's needs, no matter what the need. For I gave unto you My full life; is it not therefore meet that you should lay down your life for your brethren, for these that are so in need, and for their children who so desperately need love and attention and care and discipline? And how is it that you look upon these widows and say, `Oh, your children are so undisciplined.' Or, `Why can't you keep up and accomplish more?' Or, `Why are you so downhearted and discouraged?' But I say unto you, lift up the arms that hang down and strengthen the weak knees, for love, love, love and care is the fuel needed to rekindle the flame in these ones.
23. "But who will do it? Who will answer the call? Who will truly live the Words of David? Are ye as those that say, `Be ye warmed and filled,' yet supply not that which your brother or sister needs? Or are ye as those who, like the man on the road to Jericho, lift up the weak and the wounded and say, `I will care for you, and whatsoever it costs, that will I pay.'
24. "And as you look out upon the lost and say, `Oh, we must give them love, we must give them the gospel, we must give them the message, we must show them the love of God,' I say unto you, lift up your eyes and look unto your brethren and see these that are so desperate, and pour forth your love there as well. For how can you say that herein dwelleth the love of God if you have these in need in your presence and care not for them and give them not the love and attention that they need, and do not care for the children?--My children, your children, our children!
25. "For these ones are so tender and so broken and so in need of love and of care and of attention. And their children are so in need of love and of stability, of someone that they can look to and say, `I know this one careth for me, for he leaveth me not.'
26. "Look not to your own feelings, but look unto the needs of others and look unto the needs of these little ones who are so desperate, and who do not understand why they are not like others, why they do not have a daddy. They search and they think, `Oh, maybe this one loves me enough to stay.' And, lo, they are so disappointed, for off these go and leave them behind. Off they go in My service, but they know not the blessing that they could have if they would sacrifice and take these ones with them and love them as their own.
27. "And the wives know not the blessings that I would pour forth upon their lives if they would open their arms and say, `Oh, yes, come. Come in with us and we will shelter you and we will love you, and I will give unto you. I will help you with your children, and you will help me with mine. I will share my man with you, because this is the love of God. We together will be the love of God for you. And you and your children will be the love of God for us. And together we will be one.'
28. "Oh, that My children had such love. For no greater love hath anyone than this, that you lay down your life, that you lay down your loved one, that you lay down your own selfishness and your own desires for your brethren.
29. "Unto you widows I say, show great love and great appreciation for these that care for you, for they do so at great sacrifice. Show them love and show them gratefulness, and give unto them. Give them your love. Give them your thanks. Give them your cheerfulness. For they sacrifice greatly and you must ease their sacrifice by being loving, and being grateful, and being understanding.
30. "I have said that two are better than one, but a three-fold cord is not easily broken. And those who make this sacrifice and those that are willing, who lay down their lives for these, My widows, will be mightily blessed as a three-fold cord.
31. "For even in the days of old did I not mandate that when the husband died, the brother must marry the widow and must care for her? Are ye not all brethren? Should you not all care for the widows? Should you not take them in? And, lo, in the days of old it was not easy to do this thing, but it was necessary, that none would be forsaken without support and help, without love and attention.
32. "And unto you single men I say, be not selfish. Say not to yourself, `I cannot marry these, for they are older, they are used. There is too much responsibility, for they have so many children.' For you know not the love that these and their children would pour forth unto you. And I say unto you that this love is of Me, and it would be My love pouring forth unto you. It would not just be the love of one, but it would be the love of many, for these children would love you and they would bond with you, and they would be your children. And the widows would be your wives, and together you would be My family.
33. "Have I not said that I would supply all your needs according to My riches in glory? I will supply unto you the love that you seek. I will supply unto them the man that they need. I will supply unto the children the father that they need. And I will supply unto you the love and the blessings for your sacrifice and for your willingness.
34. "I wish to supply the needs of all My widows, but My supply is limited by your yieldedness, by the yieldedness of you singles and by the yieldedness of you marrieds and by the yieldedness of you widows. So take them in! Take them! Gently gather them in, that they be no more fatherless, that they be no more widows, but that all may be one.
35. "And sweet R., I hear the cry of thy heart, and I love thee with an everlasting love. And, yea, thou art married unto Me and I will lift thee and I will carry thee. My darling, hold on. Fret not. For know that I, thy Savior, am thy lover and thy husband. I have blessings in store for thee, and I will prove unto thee My faithfulness and My power, and My answer unto thy prayers. But be not weary in well doing, neither faint in thy mind, for in due season ye shall reap if you faint not. For you are My wife and your children are Mine, and I love you dearly.
36. "I am very proud of you for your willingness to believe in spite of these deep hurts and heartbreaks and disappointment. But I am not a disappointment, for I am the Lord your God and I am your husband, and I will care for you and I do care for you. Rest in Me and trust in Me and I will pour forth blessings upon you, showers of blessings and showers of love. But ye must do your part. Ye must hold on, ye must trust, ye must believe and ye must not doubt. And in due season ye shall receive all that your heart desireth and all that ye need.
37. "But know this, that I am always with you, I am always at your side. Come unto Me, ye that labor and are heavy laden, I will give you rest. Come unto Me, ye that are lonely and ye that are hurting, and I will give you love. Come unto Me, ye that are disappointed and ye that are suffering, and I will give you surcease from these things.
38. "Come, My dear, come! Come to My arms and let Me hold thee close to My bosom. Let Me whisper in thy ear as I say unto thee, `Thou art My love, thou art My love, thou art My love.'"
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family