81. MARRIAGE
--page 664--
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour (Ecc.4:9).
1. The most important thing in a marriage is for both to have faith in God & Jesus Christ! When you have faith, everything is possible!
2. Behind every great man, there's a great little woman who helps make him that way, his helpmeet.
3. Man may be the head, but the woman is often the neck that turns it.
4. Remember what the guy asked his wife? He said, "How come God made you women so beautiful & yet so dumb?" Remember her wise answer? "Beautiful enough so you'll want to marry us, & dumb enough for us to marry you!"
5. A wife is someone cherished in a very special way,
Who puts the joy in living with her sweetness day by day.
A wife is someone close enough to really understand,
To inspire & to encourage & to lend a helping hand.
A wife is one who makes a home a happy place for all.
Who shows her special thoughtfulness in ways both big & small.
A wife is someone wonderful who always has smile,
Who keeps her husband happy & makes his life worthwhile.
6. You've got to judge your proposed marriage by the rules: whether it's good for you, good for the Lord, good for the Body, and bears good fruit!
7. Remind yourself of all the good qualities of your mate & try not to think about the bad ones.
8. In the building business they say: Two men can do three times as much work as one man. God's principle is that two can do ten times as much as one! "One can chase a thousand, but two can put ten thousand to flight!" (De.32:30.)
9. How else can two become one, more than in one child?
10. His Spirit cures both impotency and frigidity in His bride.
11. Without good communication with your Lord there cannot be much good communication between you.
12. One of the greatest assets to a good marriage is honesty, along with a sense of humour!
13. If you want to learn something about unselfishness, humility and sharing, just get married!
14. The husband is really the boss when it comes to the natural family, & God's Word clearly says that women should obey their husbands.
15. Phil.4:8 applies to your mate as well. Try to remind yourself constantly of his or her good qualities, the good things, & try not to think about the bad things.
16. Any woman who will give her man anything he wants, including another woman, really loves him!
17. Behind every great man there's a great woman. A woman can make or break a man.
18. We are married to each other, & no one mate has to be permanent!
19. If you want to leave your mate simply because there is something about them you don't like, you're going to want to leave every mate you ever get, because there's bound to be something you don't like about each one.
20. There's somebody for everybody!
21. Compliment her! Tell her she's beautiful and she'll be beautiful! Tell her she's wonderful and she'll be wonderful!
22. Any man who thinks he is more intelligent than his wife is married to a smart woman.
23. No matter how orderly a woman is by nature, it is a mistake for her to always be putting her husband in his place.
24. The only cure for a lost love is a new love.
25. There are two periods in a man's life when he doesn't understand women--before marriage & after marriage.
26. A marriage is a witness, like a baptism. The circle of the ring is a symbol of eternal verity & the gold a symbol of lasting value.
27. Marriage is the most intimate, humbling, loving, and self-sacrificial relationship between human beings.
28. It's hard to love someone you don't respect or admire for something.
29. Say "I love you" a hundred times a day!
30. The word "engagement" has two meanings: in war it's a battle, in courtship it's surrender.
31. Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
32. One of the mysteries of life is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry the daughter, can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.
33. Marriage is a sexual relationship, or you could have simple stayed good friends.
34. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
35. Success in marriage is much more than finding the right person!--It is a matter of being the right person!
36. People wouldn't get divorced for such trivial reasons if they didn't get married for such trivial reasons.
37. A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, & another woman often makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
38. The trouble in marriage often starts when the man is so busy earning his salt that he forgets his honey.
39. Every man needs a wife: Many things go wrong that can't be blamed on the government.
40. Don't judge your wife too harshly for her weaknesses. If she didn't have them, chances are she wouldn't have married you.
41. The plural of spouse is spice.
42. The Lord is very reasonable and merciful and understanding and loving and kind, so that if two people simply do not want to live with each other He does not make rules to force them to do so, as man does.
43. Marriage: Trust is the start of it, joy is a part of it & love is the heart of it.
44. In most cases I would strongly advise parents with children to try to stick it out and survive without separation for the sake of the children.
45. In our communal cooperative tribal form of society, the larger family unit must come first.
46. Some women work so hard to make good husbands that they never quite manage to make good wives.
47. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, & half-shut afterwards.
48. Of all the home remedies, a good wife is the best.
49. Marriage is an institution held together by three books--Good Book, cookbook, & checkbook.
50. By the time he whispers, "We were made for each other," she is already planning alterations.
51. Often, when she says, "No", they both live happily ever after, too.
52. The great secret of successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents, & none of the incidents as disasters.
53. You never realise how much a person's voice can change, until your wife stops yelling at you & answers the phone.
54. Marriage is the most satisfying, most strengthening & most lasting human relationship on this Earth.
55. Most men & women need to get married, particularly in places of responsibility & leadership.
56. A vision at dinner is often a sight at breakfast.
57. The Bible rules for marriage are still the ideal & work very well with God's help & your patience, if given half a chance.
58. If you can't get along with the mate you now have under almost any circumstances, how do you know you're going to be able to get along with the next one under almost any other circumstances?
59. People who can't get along with their present mate, frequently can't get along with any mate!
60. Adam had the whole World to himself & God in the Garden of Eden, & yet he wasn't truly happy or satisfied without a woman. Only a woman's bosom can satisfy us men.
61. Too often a mate is simply bored and wants a little variety or a change, but this is not a sufficient excuse for breaking up a marriage. Let'm take a little vacation!--With somebody else!
62. A woman needs her love expressed in loving care, even more than loving sex.
63. The grass on the other side of the fence always looks greener, but usually only because of inaccessibility.
64. The absolutely perfect mate simply does not exist or they wouldn't be human.
65. If someone can stand to put up with you, maybe you'd better learn how to put up with them too and be thankful that anyone is willing to live with you at all.
66. That weak wife, Brother, ought to bring out the protective instinct in you or may be God's way of teaching you love, patience and mercy. That weak husband, Sister, may be just what you need to bring out the strong motherly instinct in you that'll make you a good leader & keep you both closer to the Lord!
67. Except Thou build it, Father,
The house is built in vain;
Except Thou, Saviour, bless it,
The joy will turn to pain;
But none can break the marriage
Of hearts in Thee made one,
And the Love Thy Spirit hallows
Is endless love begun.
68. If your mate loves you and loves the Lord, then he or she also loves others and wants to help them.
69. Ask God for His love for each other, or you'll never make it--as a marriage or a missionary!
70. Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind.
71. To marry a woman only for her beauty is like buying a house for its paint.
72. All the best things in life are shared. That's why many don't marry, they don't want to share. Pride & selfishness wreck more marriages than anything else.
73. Don't marry the girl you can live with, but marry the girl you can't live without!
74. If a marriage goes on the rocks, the rocks are often in the bed!
75. Most of marriage is not sex, but the mere living together of daily life in all of its activities.
76. Married love is an example of God's own relationship with you!
77. It's dangerous when people stop talking to each other!
78. Get used to the idea that nobody belongs exclusively to anybody, we all belong to each other. That's the way it's going to be in Heaven. That's why there doesn't need to be any marriage or giving in marriage, no private little relationships, everybody will be everybody's. We ought to be doing things right now here on Earth the way God does them in Heaven. We're lovemates, we're lovers, we live, eat & sleep together, but no, we're not married in the way the World speaks of marriage.--Our communal love is stronger!
79. If you can't get along with the woman you've got & properly provide for her & father her children & discipline the household, you can hardly expect to do any better with two, so you better prove yourself with one family first before you start considering adding any more.
80. No man can stand being constantly belittled & humiliated, brow-beaten & henpecked.
81. To have a few occasional personality clashes is understandable, but love never fails, & these should be healed through humility, love & the oil of His Spirit.
82. Marriage should be as equal as possible, as sharing as possible. You should talk together, pray together, love together, discuss together & then decide & agree together.
83. You husband is the biggest baby you'll ever have!--Only he never grows up!
84. When a man is in the arms of a woman he's a child again in the arms of his mother!--A big baby!
85. If you choose the Lord & choose His Service, God will choose someone to help you.
86. Marriage is more than sex or friendship or even a business partnership for the Lord's Work! It is the most intimate, humbling, loving & self-sacrificial relationship between human beings in all of life. "No greater love hath any man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends!" (Jn.15:13) This is love, real love, true love--the willingness of a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, the eagerness of a wife to lay down her life for her husband! This is supernatural love, divine love, God's Love, more than human!
87. In marriage you die to self but you find new life.
88. We don't believe in divorce in any shape or form if we can help it, unless the original union just was not of God & never did work & won't work & can't work. But as long as two people love each other or three people love each other or whatever, they ought to continue to love each other.
89. Marriage is a type of the spiritual union of the believing Bride with Christ.
90. If the woman refuses to be a wife to her husband in bed, she is no wife. She has left him in spirit & in body & has departed, & God's Word says, "Let her depart! A brother or sister is not bound in such a case". (1Cor.7:15)
91. I said once, that if you have a child then God has chosen you to be the parents. Well, that is the ideal but not a hard & fast rule. There are certain situations that may be exceptions; under certain conditions & in certain situations there could be exceptions.
92. If you really love somebody you want them to be happy. And if they're not completely happy with you & you can't make them completely happy, you'll want them to find somebody they can be happy with, right? That takes a lot of love, real love, genuine love, unselfish love, sacrificial love; that's what you want to be sure that you're giving.
93. When you see that your differences in spirituality & Godliness & training & the Word & goals & God's service has become absolutely intolerable & irreconcilable & you can see that it's hurting both you & your children as well as your example to other families, as well as His service that you know you should be performing & your own goals & ministry for the Lord & for others, then I think it's time to go or to let him or her go if they're more hindrance than help.
94. You say, "Well, wait a minute, Dad! Doesn't that violate the rule that if the ungodly, the unsaved, or the unbelieving brother or sister be pleased to dwell with thee, not to abandon them or not forsake'm but let them dwell with you & maybe you could win'm?" (1Co.7:12) Well, I would say when it comes to the point that you've dwelt with them so long & tried to win'm & still can't win'm & they get worse & more rebellious & even violent with the children & you, & more wicked & more Worldly & more sinful & more involved in Worldly habits & pastimes & wastes of time & the things of this World & further & further from the Lord, I would say they've already departed from you in spirit & from the Lord!
95. Just because you're living in the same house together doesn't really mean a thing!--If your mate has forsaken you spiritually & in heart & in mind, & in some cases even in body, not even interested in getting it together sexually any more, because without real love or united hearts it's hard to share physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally or in any way in the right spirit.
96. I would say that a couple divided in aim & goal, heart & spirit is unequally yoked & God's Word says, "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath Christ with Belial, & light with darkness" etc. He say, "Come ye out from among them, ye My people, & be not partakers of their sins!"--And especially when you see it influencing your children! (2Co.6:14-17)
97. You mates who cannot possibly bring your husband or wife to repentance & they simply refuse to change, refuse to repent, refuse to have a turn-around or U-turn, metanoia, change of mind & heart & confess & repent & get right & humble before the Lord, yield to His will & His service & His Word, the best thing for you to do is break it up!
98. In some cases it's not a union, it's not a marriage, it's not something that God has put together, obviously! Husband & wife are supposed to become one flesh, yes, that's true, & whom God hath put together let not man put asunder. But if it has become quite obvious that God did not put you together--somebody else put you together or you put yourselves together & you absolutely do not fit--then I think it's time to try to break it up & go your own way, & if possible have an amicable settlement between you, perhaps divide even the children if you have to.
99. It's a heart-breaking thing to do, it's a homebreaking thing to do, it's a terrible thing to have to do, but it's much worse to continue on in such terrible contention & dissension & argument & difference of opinion & difference of spirit & difference of goal & desires & differences in methods of training the children, differences in your desire to serve the Lord of litness or witness or forsake-all & go to the field.
100. The Law of Love supersedes the law of Justice. The law of Justice says you can divorce your wife if she has been disloyal & unfaithful to you, & for a lot of reasons. But the Law of Love says if she's sorry, you should forgive her & take her back in & love her. How do you know but maybe you're going to win her? How do you know but maybe you'll be able to win her through your love?
101. If we were so righteous & didn't have any weaknesses we couldn't help others much. We couldn't be sympathetic or compassionate if we were so self-righteous & perfect. We couldn't even understand others.
102. Watch out about having such a critical condescending attitude towards homosexuals & epileptics & other handicapped people! You yourselves may be guilty of things much worse, like jealousy & the sins of the spirit. That holier-than-thou self-righteous attitude is in itself a worse sin than the pitifully human afflictions of the flesh & physically afflicted & tormented.
103. You must forgive those who have wronged you & seek forgiveness of those whom you have wronged & take them by the hand back into your circle of love & fellowship & happy, joyful labours & pleasures together.
104. How can you not comfort others with the comfort wherewith ye yourselves are comforted? How can you not extend the same mercy that He has extended to you? How can you not at least give them a chance?--Have a little mercy on your mate!
105. Sometimes you need a neck to turn the head & a heart to help the hand.
106. God made it so that no matter who you are, you can find a mate if you have love!
107. Don't forget to thank her; or don't forget to thank him.--Gratitude is a great thing in married life! Show appreciation!
108. Don't forget to say, "I love you!" Keep speaking words of love. Words sometimes can do more for a woman than anything else!--Especially if you are speaking with love, tenderness, meaning & sincerity.
109. The rule of thumb is very simple & it's summed up in the little slogan on priorities, "Jesus & others, then you".
110. Your wife belongs first of all to God & His Work & last of all to you.--And in this business you can be thankful if you get anything of her at all!
111. The superiority of a wife over her husband in spiritual things in this day & age is not rare!
112. Don't stand in God's way even if it's God in your wife, or you'll be sorry!
113. Some people seem to have forgotten all about something called love, real love, which can survive almost any difficulties, differences, weaknesses, shortcomings, failures, faults, sins or obstacles.
114. To have real lasting enduring genuine love, it must be based upon a more enduring foundation than mere fleshly gratification. It must be an unselfish innate desire to protect & to help & to make someone else happy.
115. He's tried to take the place of God to her & she's allowed him to do it! She's permitted him to make her worship him--cover up for him, lie for him, deceive for him! It's a form of worship, it's obeying him instead of the Lord, obeying him instead of us, obeying the Devil instead of God. She fears him more than she does God!--She's yielding to the Devil, she's falling down & worshipping on her knees before Satan himself in him!--Worshipping the Devil, obeying the Devil, cowed by the Devil, intimidated by Satan, afraid to say anything or do anything for fear of offending him!--How horrible!
116. As far as I'm concerned, we're all married to Him & each other, but most of us usually sleep with the same person nightly--eventually--especially those in love!
117. Loyalty is the primary requisite in any man's army.--Faithfulness, first of all to Jesus & His Work & the others to whom you minister & last of all, but also important, to your mate & yourself.
118. Some women put the Lord's Work before their husband, but if your husband's ministry is your work then this won't work, & what you're really trying to do is seek a self-glorifying ministry of your own, instead of being a helpmeet as God intended you to be.
119. Others have sometimes put their husbands before the Work & this is intolerable in any man's army. You've forgotten what you joined the Army for & you've been putting homemaking for him first. This is deplorable & intolerable!
120. When you have the urge to snap back & try to argue with or criticise your husband's decision, why don't you instead just trust the Lord & wait & see?
121. A husband & wife can have a good relationship as long as she has faith in him & honours & respects him. But when she starts continually trying to tell him what to do & think she knows better, it can absolutely wreck the relationship.
122. A domineering attitude & lack of faith in your husband will make him want to seek the fellowship of other women who do respect him & have faith in him & are ready to accept him as he is & who agree with his decisions & want to please him. A domineering attitude & wanting to control things shows that you lack faith in your husband's ability to do things & that you think you can do them better.
123. Even if you don't have faith in your husband, you should have enough faith in God to know that He can keep your husband under control. You need to have faith to trust the Lord that He is in control of both your husband & the situation.
124. It must be pride that keeps so many women from giving in, surrendering, they hate to give up. It's almost like they hate to trust the Lord, much less their husband. I guess it's just the nature of women that after a certain length of time their faith in their husband & their confidence in him wears off & they try to get control & make the decisions & do what they think is best. They lose respect for their husband & no longer honour him. They only want to control him & make sure he does what they want him to do. He becomes a tool in their own hand instead of leaving him in the Lord's hand, & they try to use him to get their way. It's part of the Devil's corruption, trying to throw a monkey-wrench in God's machinery.
125. God's law is that a woman's desire shall be unto her husband (Gen.3:16) & the Devil's been trying to overthrow that from the beginning, of which women's lib is a classic example. They don't desire to please their husbands, they desire to rule over them. They don't want equality, they want to enslave their husbands & to be the boss. It's rebellion against the plan & order of God.
126. I guess it's just part of the natural woman to resist a man's rule over her. The Devil inspires women to rise up against it & rebel against it & hate it & fight it. A wise woman buildeth her house, but a foolish one teareth it down with her hands. (Pr.14:1) That's such a wise saying & so deep. It's too bad women don't learn what it means. She tears it down with her own hands & her own fears & her own willfulness through a lack of trust & faith in the Lord, to have faith in the Lord even if she hasn't got faith in her husband.
127. The marriage relationship usually starts off with love but then often ends with dishonour & disobedience. I think the secret is lack of faith & lack of trust in not just the husband but in the Lord. It's not resting in the Lord & trusting God is going to have His way. No matter what your husband does, the Lord's not going to let him go too far on the wrong track without stopping him.
128. Any man desires his wife to have faith in him. It must be part of a desire of the Lord wanting us to have faith in Him, since without faith it is impossible to please Him.
129. The most damaging thing that can happen in a marriage is to lose faith in each other, & worst of all faith in God.
130. If you can't trust your husband, at least you can trust the Lord. If most Christian wives would make up their minds to this, it would save a lot of fusses, disagreements & arguments.
131. I'm sure the reason why so many men take up fishing or golf or some other sport in which their wife can't participate is so they can get away from her constant bickering & tumult, just for the peace & quiet of the golf course or sea shore or a lonely boat on the lake where a man can get alone with the Lord & his thoughts.
132. I think most men probably have a lot more pride than women, therefore they're more sensitive, & the criticism or cutting remarks hurt more. They may not show it or say it or even acknowledge it but the wound is there & they may never get over it.--The hurt of some cutting remark, some doubt or fear or distrust or disrespect. How many marriages have those things wrecked?
133. No man, be he prince or pauper, can stand to be humiliated in public, not even by the woman he loves, because it certainly shows that she doesn't love him.
134. The Lord didn't say that a man had to trust, honour & obey his wife, but that wives had to trust, honour & obey their husbands. It's the wife's place to yield & trust & love, honour & obey but I guess the women probably feel that's unfair, especially if they are women libbers & willful & stubborn. I guess they feel it's unfair of God to expect them to trust a man & love, honour, obey & respect him.--In which case I think it's better for such a woman not to be married if they find it's really not in them to truly love, honour & obey a husband just because God said so. (Ti.2:4-5)
135. I believe the happier wives are the ones who do yield & have faith & obey. If she can't trust her husband at least she can trust the Lord & not continually nag. Why not just trust away instead of nag away & believe the Lord will work it out somehow? I don't see any other solution for a marriage but to trust & obey.--At least trust & obey the Lord & since He says obey your husbands, that is obeying the Lord whether you like it or not. You just have to trust the Lord that if you obey the Lord, things will work out somehow.
136. Just trust the Lord!--It brings a lot more peace & rest, & avoids so much vain wrangling & doubtful disputation.
137. You have to trust the Lord if you're going to have peace, unity & harmony in the Home. If you can't trust your wife or trust your husband, at least trust the Lord & He'll work it out somehow.
(See also No.49, 61, 123, 249, 260, 314B, 332C, 338, 359, 377, 529, 531, 902, 1022, 1056, 1114, 1247, 1358, 1389, 1395.)
138. GEN.1:28a And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the Earth.
139. GEN.2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
140. GEN.2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
141. GEN.3:17 And unto Adam He said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.
142. RUT.1:16,17 Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
143. PSA.128:3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
144. PRO.5:18,19 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
145. PRO.15:17 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
146. PRO.18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
147. PRO.19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord.
148. SON.1:2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
149. MAR.10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
150. 1CO.7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
151. 1CO.7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
152. 1CO.7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
153. 1CO.7:14,16,33 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But he that is married careth for the things that are of the World, how he may please his wife.
154. 1CO.11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
155. 1CO.11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
156. 1CO.11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
157. EPH.5:22-25 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it.
158. EPH.5:28,29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
159. EPH.5:31-33 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
160. COL.3:18,19 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
161. 1TI.3:11 Wives be...faithful in all things.
162. 1TI.5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
163. 1TI.5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
164. TIT.2:4,5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.
165. HEB.13:4a Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.
166. 1PE.3:7a Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family