COMMUNICATION!--By Maria                  Maria Letter No.53                10/86

         1. (SARA: A NEW MEMBER OF OUR STAFF ADMITTED HAVING A LONGSTANDING DIFFICULTY IN OPENING UP TO PEOPLE & SHARING HIS HEART BECAUSE HE'S BEEN AFRAID HE'LL BE MISUNDERSTOOD. Mama encouraged us all to give this person an extra lot of love & to make him feel welcome & happy & confident in our love so that he can freely talk with us about his trials.
         2. (DAD ADDED THAT THE FIRST FEW DAYS & WEEKS OF A NEWCOMER'S STAY HERE IS VERY IMPORTANT because it's in the beginning that the Enemy fights the hardest! Knowing that people who come to us for the first time feel that we couldn't possibly know how bad they are & are tempted to think we've made a mistake in bringing THEM, & therefore if they doubt in just this one thing, they could doubt in others also, but perhaps not share their battles with others who could help them, Mama gave the following counsel on what to share at the very first Sunday Fellowship our new member attended here:)
         3. WE WANT TO REASSURE THIS LOVED ONE THAT NEITHER HE, NOR ANY OF US, ARE MEASURED OR JUDGED BY OUR PAST OR EVEN OUR PRESENT SINS. It doesn't really matter at all what happened in the past, & even now in the present, we STILL have lots of problems but we're fighting for the Lord! Our problems don't really even mean so much as long as we're fighting to get the victory over them. Our being here is dependent upon our faithfulness & our desire to live for Jesus, not how "perfect" or "good" we are!
         4. EVERYONE HERE HAS HAD LOTS OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF PROBLEMS & HAS MADE ALL SORTS OF TERRIBLE MISTAKES. In Sunday Fellowship, have people participate in admitting their problems & lessons & VICTORIES they've had, to encourage our newcomer that we're ALL a mess, so he doesn't worry about his own problems & weaknesses. It will encourage him to be honest & communicate with us about his problems when he sees he's not going to be ousted for telling us the truth about himself. Share how the Lord has given everyone victories because they CONFESSED their weak areas & problems & had united prayer against them, giving the Lord & His Word the opportunity to overcome them!
         5. EVERYONE HERE HAS THEIR SHARE OF PROBLEMS, BUT WE SHOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. You're bound to make mistakes & we ALL make mistakes, & some have been occasionally even deliberate sins such as lying & covering up, but at least we all keep trying. NOBODY is perfect. We're still all trying to do our best for the Lord & meanwhile we're learning & progressing & growing, & no one holds it against others just because they've made some mistakes! No one is here because of their past record nor even due to their present record. No one here has any exceptionally outstanding "good" record, thank God!--Or they'd be too good for US!--And there is nothing in our past or present to glory in! The Lord has forgiven the past, & it's gone, it doesn't matter. It's the present, right now, that really matters.
         6. WHAT REALLY MATTERS MOST IS IF YOU'RE WILLING TO OVERCOME YOUR PRESENT PROBLEMS & GET VICTORIES. If you're willing to be honest & open & admit where you need help, admit your faults & weaknesses so you can get help on them, you CAN get deliverance, you CAN get victories! The Bible says the Lord will remember your sins no more, unless you keep doing them. Like I told one staff member recently in reply to his report about his battles & lessons learned, "Don't worry, I have a poor memory, & like the Lord, I remember your sins no more!" (Isa.43:25, 44:22)
         7. YOU SHOULD EXPLAIN YOUR PROBLEMS, BATTLES & WEAKNESSES TO YOUR LEADERSHIP, NOT WEAKER BRETHREN. It's important that you communicate these things to the right people at the right time & in the right spirit. What you SHOULDN'T be doing is holding it all in & letting your problems & trials eat away at you. We all have problems & we continue to have problems, we had them in the past & we still have them in the present.
         8. BY SHARING THESE THINGS WITH HIM FROM THE START, THE LORD WILL HELP HIM TO SEE THAT HE CAN BE OPEN & HONEST, he can learn to share his heart & communicate here, especially once he's learned that he's not going to have his head chewed off for making a mistake & he's not going to be thrown out for having problems. Look at the rest of you, many of you have feared the same thing before & it's still never happened! If a person really honestly wants an answer & he's sincerely asking & seeking help about his situation & NOT BEING CRITICAL or SCEPTICAL, then it's good for him to tell his leadership his problems & doubts & battles. No one is going to get help or counsel or victories if they are not honest with others, & are not willing to share their hearts with their leadership.
         9. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO TO OUR LEADERSHIP & OUR COUNSELLORS & SHARE OUR HEARTS & ASK QUESTIONS IF WE SERIOUSLY HAVE SERIOUS BATTLES. It's better to tell somebody so you can get help, so that whatever's troubling you won't be eating away & destroying you from the inside. It's common for people to have some opposing opinions & questions & we don't condemn them for that. Our newcomer is probably so used to working under dictatorship-type leaders, he's afraid to open up at all. For years, almost everyone in our Family has been afraid to voice any kind of difference of opinion because it might appear to be spreading doubt & division, but no one's going to condemn you or bite your head off or send you off just because you're voicing an opinion or question or attempting to share your heart & innermost battles! We should feel more free to talk to leadership about our problems, & all leadership should be willing to listen & understand & help those who need their counsel & prayers.
         10. SO WE TAKE SOME PEOPLE HERE WHO HAVE PROBLEMS & WE DON'T CONDEMN THEM FOR IT AS LONG AS THEY ADMIT IT & WE ADMIT THAT THEY HAVE PROBLEMS & WE STRIVE TO WORK & PRAY TOGETHER TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEM! Some leaders don't pump people power & don't ask others for suggestions & opinions, & even worse, shoot people down when they DO voice their feelings, which results in the avoidance of any outward expression. If our newcomer has had that kind of leadership before, his fearfulness is understandable. But now things have changed, now he's in a different situation & we can & WANT to help him to get the victory over any problems he may have, just like the Lord has helped us to get the victory over OUR problems, but he must COMMUNICATE & be honest with us, so we can help him!
         11. YOU NEED TO HAVE FAITH IN YOUR LEADERSHIP & IN THE LORD'S LOVE & BE ENCOURAGED TO BE HONEST & ASK QUESTIONS. Everyone here can testify how they felt hesitant to be open before, but now we've all learned to be so much more honest & open. It takes time & faith sometimes for people to overcome these things. Let's hope this Pow-Wow will encourage our newcomer that we're expecting him to be open & honest from the BEGINNING even though it'll take time & practice for him to make it a habit.
         12. AT THE END OF YOUR SUNDAY FELLOWSHIP POW-WOW YOU SHOULD HAVE SPECIAL PRAYER FOR HIM. Lay hands on him & pray that he'll do well here, that he'll be honest & open his heart to us & say what's on his heart & get victories, & trust ours & the Lord's love.--That he'll draw closer to the Lord & us as he learns to communicate, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.