Family in Action 17, Safely Through the Storm! -- My life as a Disciple of Jesus in Communist China! -- Part Two         DFO
By Becky

November 1997

Copyright (c) 1997 by The Family

Table of Contents
         Prison!  3
         Nighttime Interrogation!         4
         The Miracle of the Fans and Tea!         6
         Following the Lord's Leading     6
         News Articles on Conditions in China     7
         A Few Hours Later -- More Intense Interrogation!         7
         Interrogation by a High-ranking Policeman        8
         Special Treatment and a Chance to Witness!       10
         The Small Wooden Boat Dream      11
         Free! The Boat Dream Fulfilled!  13
         The Chinese Church       14
         Friends in High Places!  16
         "Where Is My Daughter Maria?"    17
         The Lord Works on Our Behalf!    19
         Our Battle to Buy Back Our Daughter!     20
         Deceived by the Police!  21
         Fighting the Birth Control Officials     23
         My Delivery Prepared by the Lord!        25
         "He Giveth Snow!"        25
         Birth Control Official Completely Won Over!      26
         How We Survived  27

Prison!
         The police took me in a jeep to Michael's sister's home, telling me to leave my child Rainbow there while I was in prison. I was holding Rainbow very tightly on the way and asked the Lord to be with me. The police said, "Normally you should be handcuffed, but because you have the girl we can leave your hands free for now." That was the first miracle the Lord did for me, and I knew that God had started to work and to answer my prayers.
         It was a very hot day in July of 1986. I was 29 at the time, and almost five months pregnant -- in secret of course. I didn't know what they would do to me if they found out about my pregnancy while I was in prison. I prayed and asked the Lord to do more miracles for me!
         Once at the prison I had to fill out a lot of forms. The police asked me if I knew what crime I had committed, and I told them I didn't. They said, "You're still saying you don't know? You're such a stubborn person!" But actually they didn't tell me what I was being accused of.
         After that, I went through a long dark tunnel, into a little back room. The room was only about ten square meters with a open squat toilet and tiny sink in the corner, but there were almost 20 women prisoners in there. I had never seen regular criminals and I was a little scared. I stood in the middle of the room and everyone looked at me. The policewoman who brought me there told me to stay there and wait until I was called.
         When she closed the heavy iron door, the prisoners all started asking me lots of questions. "What have you done?" "What kind of criminal are you?" I told them I didn't know, that I had done nothing wrong, that the police had searched my house and taken some books away, etc.
         One girl said, "What kind of books were taken away?"
         I said, "Bibles and some books like that."
         She said, "It must be because of religion. Do you believe in God?"
         I said, "Yes."
         She said, "Oh, I see. But they shouldn't have sent you here. You belong in the 'political section.' This is the 'criminal section.' We are real criminals -- thieves, prostitutes, etc. If you aren't any of these, you shouldn't be here."
         In China we have two kinds of prisoners: One is political and one is criminal. That's why all the prisoners were surprised to see me there. These women were making these comments because political prisoners should get a little bit better treatment than I was getting. At the same time, I was surprised how openly these women described themselves, and admitted that they were criminals and sinful people!
         They made some room for me to sit down and I started to pray! "God, please show me what I should do, now that I'm here. I know You have a reason for this. That's why I got that verse (Revelation 2:10) on my birthday! I knew that I would have to go through these tests. But I ask for Your protection, even if I have to be faithful unto death.
         "I'm not sure if I will be strong or not. I don't know if they will beat me or what they will do. I just ask You to please protect me and the baby inside me! I'm sick and weak, and I don't know if I can make it! Please strengthen me. I know Your Word says, 'Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but You deliver us out of them all!'" (Psalms 34:19).
         When I started to think about Rainbow, I cried and I asked the Lord to keep her.
         After a while, the iron door opened again and the policewoman threw another girl in. She was standing in the middle of the room, and the policewoman asked her to take off all of her clothes. I was really surprised. I whispered to the one who sat beside me, "What are they going to do to her?"
         She said "Search her! Everyone goes through this, except for you. When you get here, the first thing that happens to you is you have to take all your clothes off. But I was very surprised that they forgot to search you."
         That was the second miracle. I knew that God and an angel must have been protecting me. After that day, there were more women prisoners thrown in, and they were all strip-searched, with no exception!

Nighttime Interrogation!
         One of the prisoners told me, "If you want to know if your case is serious or not, just wait and see when they interrogate you. If they do it during the day, then your case is OK. But if it's during the night, then you have a serious case." So I waited to see what would happen.
         That night, at about 9 p.m., some police came and took me to the interrogation room. I saw many policemen sitting there and a chair was positioned on the other side of the room. I was asked to sit down on the chair and answer their questions.
         One of the police took out a pile of papers, and said to me, "We know you are a member of the Children of God! And we know who the leader is here in China! He got arrested too."
         Through the night, they asked me many questions. I really prayed desperately for wisdom and for how to answer them. While I was there, I heard some screams outside; obviously somebody was being beaten.
         The police weren't really interested in religion. They tried to question me in many different ways about the Family's sexual practices. They said, "Where is the international organization for those sexual practices? Have you ever supplied the place for them?"
         I told them, "We're just people who believe in God and we don't do the things you are saying."
         They said, "You really believe in God?"
         "Yes!"
         "How can you believe in that? You are the shame of our country, and a rebel, because you were born and raised in a communist family."
         I said, "I thought that according to the law of our country, we have religious freedom."
         "In some ways, but not in this case! OK then, tell me your story from the beginning. How did you meet Abe and all these foreigners?"
         So I told them how I met Abe and how I started to believe in God, what the Family did for me, what I learned, what I knew about God and how I got strengthened by the Word. I told them that what had made me decide to serve the Lord was that the Bible says, "Love your neighbor as yourself," and that was what those foreigners had done to me and it deeply touched my heart. I had never experienced this kind of love, even from our own countrymen.
         This made them mad. At last the police shouted, "Are you preaching to us? Do you think you're a priest? Do you really believe they are all good people?"
         "Yes, I believe so!"
         They asked me, "Do you know what they have done behind your back?"
         "No, all that I saw was very good and I believe that they are all good people. If I had never met them, then I wouldn't know anything about God or love or how to show love!"
         The police got very angry and upset. They said, "Stop your preaching! Be honest and tell us exactly what you've done!"
         I had already told them the general story and it had been written down as my confession. But they didn't want to believe that that was the truth; they wanted me to admit what they accused me of. For example, they accused me of having been involved in some sexual activities and also supplying the place for these to happen. The Lord in His wisdom had never let me be involved in any FFing practices in China, because my faith had not reached that level yet. So I was telling the absolute truth about my lack of sexual involvement, and this was a shield for me in prison.
         But of course they would not believe me, so they tried to give me a hard time. They tried to use emotional weapons to defeat me, and started to accuse me of being a bad wife who caused her husband to get thrown into prison, a bad mother who caused her child to be left with others. That hurt my heart so much. When they mentioned Rainbow, I felt my heart was torn apart and I started to cry. They were very happy because they felt that they had me!
         So they tried to provoke me more. They even mentioned Maria, saying they knew her paperwork was not yet complete, so her future was in their hands. I didn't know what was going on with her exactly or what they meant at that time, but I had a feeling that they might do some bad thing to her, too.
         So their emotional weapons were quite successful. It was like a sharp knife pierced straight into my heart. I cried harder. They said that if I was not willing to cooperate with them, I would never be able to see my children again, because I would be sent to a faraway prison for the rest of my life. They tried their best to use my children to hurt me.
         I could not stop crying. I knew that if both Michael and I had to stay in prison, my children would be in a very desperate situation. There was nothing I could do about it except pray. I closed my eyes and started to pray. I confessed to the Lord that I was not strong enough to bear those things and asked Him to have mercy on me and my children.
         I could hear a male criminal's screaming and wailing, off and on nearby. He must have been beaten up very badly with the electric rod. At that moment I thought, "What if they get so mad and start to beat me with their electric rod, too? If I was not pregnant maybe I could try to bear it, but now I have a baby in my tummy! They might cause me to miscarry!"
         I really didn't know if I could go through that. So I asked God very specifically that they would not beat me during this period of time, and that He would do a miracle for me to protect the baby in this impossible situation.
         Because I was quiet for a little while, the police were wondering what was happening with me. I told them that I was missing my children. So one of them said, "If you miss your children, you should do everything you can for them. You should confess your sins and the government will not punish you so hard."
         I said, "I didn't do anything you say I did. I just believe in God."
         Many hours had passed. I was so exhausted. My mind almost stopped working and I could hardly control what I was talking about. If there was anything I wanted at that time, it was for them to send me back to the cell.
         At that moment I realized why the girl prisoner told me that if I was questioned during the night, that meant my case was serious. Nighttime interrogation is a very powerful method of torture. They could keep you awake for 24 hours until you were too tired to control your words, and the prisoners wouldn't realize what they said. The night shift police would rest during the day, and change shifts in the middle of the interrogation, so that they themselves stayed wide awake. I asked the Lord to release me!

The Miracle of the Fans and Tea!
         There were so many policemen in the room, and the weather was so hot and stuffy, so they put many electric fans in the room. Past midnight it became cooler, but the fans were still on and the wind was blowing powerfully towards me. Because I was sick, pregnant, and exhausted, I felt chilled right through to my bones. My whole body started aching and shivering. When I had to answer their questions, my teeth were chattering.
         After I had prayed and asked the Lord to release me, I asked the policemen who were around me, "Could you turn off all these fans, please? My whole body is aching and shivering!" When they heard my request, they were astonished! They looked at each other and didn't know what to do!
         One of them asked me, "What did you say?" It was as if they were asking me, "How dare you say that!" But I repeated what I had said. There was a pause for a little while. It was a challenge in the spirit!
         I kept praying. I really didn't know if my request would make them really mad, because I was a captive, a prisoner. How could I be so bold as to dare ask the police to turn off all their fans in the heat of summer? But on the other hand, I had God and He wanted to show everybody in the room that He was right there and He was in control!
         The police were waiting for the reaction of their commander. Then the miracle happened: A few minutes later, the boss gave his order to the police, "Turn them off!" So they turned off all their electric fans for me! My faith was strengthened by God's miracle! I thanked the Lord in my heart!
         I felt better after the fans were off, but I was still shivering. So I challenged them again. I said, "Could you give me some hot water, please?" Another pause! I guess nobody had ever asked these things before.
         "Give her a cup of hot tea!" The commander ordered again. So very soon I got a cup of hot tea! God had beat the Devil in the spirit! What a miracle!

Following the Lord's Leading
         After about eight hours of sitting there being interrogated non-stop, around 5:00 in the morning they sent me back to the cell.
         I hadn't had any sleep for 23 hours. I was very, very tired, but I couldn't find any place to sleep, because there were so many of us in this little room. Everybody had to lie sideways in two rows on the floor. All the heads were against opposite walls and the feet from these two rows were against each other The ceiling light stayed on, so it was bright in the room all night. In this way, the guards could keep watching the prisoners all the time. When one of the inmates saw me standing there, she moved over a little and asked me to lie beside her.
         The baby I was carrying inside me wasn't very comfortable; it moved a lot and so did I. But when I moved, one of the older prisoners kicked me in the back. I had to try to keep still and not move.
         I asked God to deliver me out of this place. I told Him that if He didn't want to deliver me for some reason, to let me die there, because I didn't want to suffer anymore and I didn't want the baby in my tummy to suffer with me. When I started to think about Rainbow, I cried again.
         At that moment, I thought that Maria might still be safe because she was with that Family couple. But I didn't want to leave Rainbow alone with my husband's sister, because she is a military woman and had always been very close to Michael's mother. When I went to her house to leave Rainbow there, I saw Michael's mother was also right there in her home. So I could not get rid of the thought that they would not be willing to take care of Rainbow for me.
         The Lord told me to wait and hold on. I heard the screaming and wailing again. It make me feel sick and shivery. Instantly I started to think again, "What if I get beaten up? The first thing that would happen to me could be a miscarriage! What should I do, Lord?" The Lord showed me that I should tell the police that I was pregnant. I was wondering about this, but the thought kept going through my mind. The miracle that had just happened about the fans and hot tea encouraged my faith, and I felt the Lord wanted me to tell the police about my pregnancy, even though I could not imagine how the police would react to this.

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China raided Christians
         HONG KONG, May 19 [1996] (UPI) -- Authorities have detained five female Christians after a brutal crackdown on a church in northwest China in which people were beaten and had boiling water doused on them, a newspaper reported Sunday.
         The English-language South China Morning Post said armed police burst into a church in Zhaosu county of the Third Autonomous Prefecture in western Xinjiang province in mid-March. Witnesses who told a local journalist about the incident said 12 of the 17 worshippers were released after the five women came forward to take responsibility for the clandestine gathering.
         Many Christians reportedly were hurt in the raid, which shocked some witnesses with its brutality, the report said. Christians not only were severely beaten by police, the witnesses said, but scalding water was poured on them when they refused to follow police orders.
         One Christian in her early 30s lost her front teeth after police repeatedly slapped her in the face, the report said.
         Witnesses fear the five women currently in police custody face imprisonment or labor reform sentences for their roles in the gathering.

Thousands sentenced to gulag
From The Nation, published in Bangkok, Thailand, 1997:
         In China's Zhejiang province, police destroyed at least 15,000 religious sites in just the first half of this year, according to a report in the Far Eastern Economic Review. Between 60 million and 100 million Christians in China violate government edicts by worshipping in underground house churches and every year thousands are sentenced to [China's] religious gulag; it currently imprisons two Catholic bishops. Both Catholic and Protestant leaders say this year has seen the harshest persecution of their faiths since the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s.

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A Few Hours Later -- More Intense Interrogation!
         After two hours of rest, at 7:00 in the morning I had to get up with everyone else. Whenever a new prisoner came, they had to clean the toilet for the first three days. So this morning was my turn. The room captain stood in the middle of the room and told me that I needed to go and clean the toilet. It was hard for me because I was pregnant and had to kneel down to reach it.
         Later the police took me to take pictures and make fingerprints for their files. That afternoon I was questioned again. This time, the situation was different. They had brought in policemen who were able to speak good English, because most of the books they found in our apartment were in English, so they wanted to be sure I was telling the truth.
         They wanted to check the Family material, so they asked me many things about the tapes and books, most of which were children's books. I didn't mind telling them the whole story about the books, as I thought it would be a good testimony.
         Then they changed interrogators. The new ones were pretty tough. They turned back to the old questions, and tried to force me to admit to things I hadn't done. They kept saying that they knew I had made love with foreigners, which was very ridiculous. I wanted to laugh! I said, "I have not even done it, so how can you say you know that I did?"
         It was very obvious they were lying. So I said, "No, I didn't make love to any of them. If I did, who are the ones I was with? Tell me, if you already know!"
         One of the mean police came up to me and said, "Abe is one of them. Are you still going to say no?"
         I had never been upset with them since the first interrogation; I had tried my best to answer their questions calmly. But hearing how badly and falsely that they accused me, I was really getting mad. I told them, "No! I didn't!"
         He said, "We will find out!" and he looked at me like a wolf. He reminded me of the Devil!
         I told him, "Then go ahead and find it out!" Both he and I knew there was nothing they could find out, as I had never done it. He didn't say anything, but stared at me fiercely. I started to rebuke him in Jesus' name! Without Jesus, I would not even dare to look at him. We were staring at each other for quite a while. It was very quiet in the room, no talking. It was a battle in the spirit!
         I knew that I could not move my eyes away, or I would lose. Every second was too long for me. Finally, his spirit was crushed. He moved his eyes aside and whispered to himself that there was no hope to salvage me. Jesus had won the battle for me in the spirit! The policemen all commented after that "staring fight": "You have been deeply poisoned and polluted! You are too stubborn and hopeless!"
         One of the officers said, "We know you're an important member of this group. We have proof. I can tell you the truth. Your husband got arrested because of you, not for his own deeds. If you don't cooperate with the government and work with us or tell us the truth, you and your husband will not get out.
         "If you have any love for your child and your husband, you will think of them. You need to confess, and if you don't, then you will ruin them too! You are making your husband stay in jail and you are robbing your child of her parents. You need to think of them!"
         They started working this way to break my heart and my spirit again. When they mentioned Rainbow and Michael, I felt that I was crushed. I was really broken and started crying again. They knew that this was the way to break me. I cried out to God to please help me. I could not answer them anymore, so they had to send me back to my cell.

Interrogation by a High-ranking Policeman
         The next day, I had to face another interrogation. They took me to a smaller room this time, and there were only two policemen in it. Soon I learned that the older one was a top officer of the police, and the younger one was his secretary. Because I was so stubborn and hopeless, as they described me, they had to hand my case over to a higher authority. That's why the top officer started to interrogate me personally.
         He repeated the policy of the government for criminals and asked me to cooperate with him. He said that we could have a new start. He took a pile of papers and an old Family magazine that had my photo in it. Some years before I had written a letter to Dad during Christmas time, and it had been pubbed in a Family mag. (Editor's note: As you know, we no longer publish pictures of Family members in sensitive countries. Thank the Lord He kept Becky and her children safe in spite of our mistake!)
         He said, "Do you have anything to say? We know everything about you. If we didn't know all this, we wouldn't have arrested you. Even if you don't confess, we know everything. There may even be things that you don't know, but we do. We can tell you what kind of person your Father David is and what all these foreigners are really like."
         So they took many articles and papers and showed them to me and started to read them. One of them really shocked me. It was written by Deborah, Dad's first daughter. It broke my heart, as I couldn't believe that his daughter would write articles against him, saying so many horrible lies.
         I was silent for a long time and the police said, "Now do you understand? Do you still believe these people? Do you still believe Father David?"
         For a long time I didn't know what to say. Many things from the past went through my mind and I remembered all that the Family had done for me and how much I had learned from Dad's Letters. I said, "I don't know much about what you're saying, but I know that what I have seen, felt and experienced for so many years has been a lot of love. True love. Nobody loved me like that before. I learned so much through the MO Letters. I can't believe what you're saying."
         Then this older policeman said, "Now I know! You are really stubborn and you are hopeless! They were right, there is no hope for you to be salvaged! But here is one thing you didn't know: Even your leader Abe had to confess that he had broken the Chinese law."
         I said, "What kind of law did he break?"
         "He interfered with the Chinese religion."
         I said, "We have the freedom to believe in any kind of religion, right?"
         He said, "Well, we didn't say that you couldn't believe something, but you can't follow foreigners. You can go to the Chinese Church*. But you can't believe these things! Remember, you come from a communist family! Do you want to change your mind? If you do, it's not too late!" (See "The Chinese Church," page 14.)
         I said, "No, I don't want to change my mind, or my belief."
         "Why?" He was surprised. "Why do you believe those foreigners?"
         "What I believe in is God, not those foreigners. I know God will not fail me."
         He got a little bit upset. "You are going to get a severe punishment if you keep up like this! Do you want to leave your husband and children, and spend the rest of your life in prison? If you don't confess your sins you could never get out of here! Think about it!"
         I asked, "What kind of crime have I committed? Did I do anything wrong? Just because I believe in God?"
         He said, "You are too stubborn. What should I do with you? OK, you can expect your punishment."
         I wasn't sure how long I would stay in prison, but I remembered that the Lord had showed me that I should tell the police that I was pregnant. So I told this top officer at this time. The police already knew about Maria, my second daughter, because they'd found the Family couple who wanted to adopt her. When he heard I was pregnant, he said, "You're pregnant again? Why?"
         I said, "Because I believe in God and I don't want to kill this child."
         Then he said, "Oh, now you have more reason to think about the future! But we cannot take care of this now; we will see about that later."
         Thank the Lord, the police didn't care whether I was pregnant or not. I was very thankful that God had showed me to tell them that I was pregnant. For the moment, I wasn't forced into having an abortion, because the police were so busy!
         That evening they sent me back to the cell and asked me to write down my whole story -- what I believed, how I met the Family, what I did, what happened while the foreigners were in China, etc.

Special Treatment And a Chance to Witness!
         When I got back to my cell, some of the prisoners came and asked me how it had gone that afternoon and the night before. I told them that I was pregnant and that this was my third pregnancy. They were totally shocked and asked why. Then the rest of the prisoners got curious too, and gathered around. They asked if I wanted to have a boy.
         I said, "Not really."
         "Then why?" So I told them that I believed in God and didn't want to kill the baby.
         They said, "Your case is really different. You shouldn't be here. Do you know what will happen to your baby? You don't know when you will get out, so are you going to have the baby here in prison? Even if you do get out, do you realize what will happen?" I told them that I didn't know anything about my future, but that God knew and He would take care of me!
         The Lord really touched their hearts, and because they knew that I was pregnant, they began to treat me very differently. The next morning they didn't ask me to clean the toilet, and they tried to be nice to me. Once when I missed my meal because I was being interrogated, the prisoners saved steamed bread for me from their own food.
         I was so moved how this situation brought out the good in them. On the one hand, they were bad and had committed crimes, but on the other hand they were unpretentious and kindhearted.
         At night I could always hear some screaming and shouting, because criminals would be beaten with electric rods. That was very frightening. I would pray and ask God for protection and for Him to change the hearts of the police and do a miracle to protect me and the baby I was carrying.
         Later the Lord answered my prayers and the guards started to give me special treatment because I was pregnant. During the daytime all the prisoners had to sit on the floor for the whole day with our legs either crossed or folded with our arms around them. We couldn't get up. If you got up, then you had to stand with your face against the wall for the whole day and that was really terrible.
         Maybe you don't realize how difficult it is to sit on the floor all day like that, even for a healthy and strong prisoner. It wasn't so bad on the first day, but the next day my bones were very sore and I was aching everywhere. It was so difficult to breathe, and the baby was struggling inside of me. I couldn't sit any longer and I wanted to cry. It was very bad for the baby.
         But the Lord kept answering my prayers and He did another miracle: After I talked to the guards, they agreed to let me stand up and walk around whenever I wanted to. Thank the Lord for that! I was the only person who was able to walk in that room during the day.
         It was very hot and humid in July. There wasn't enough air in the cell, because it was very small and without windows except a tiny air hole by the ceiling. Also because there were a lot of people in the room, I would feel faint from lack of air, and like I was choking. So I had to ask the guards to let me get out of the cell to get some fresh air. By God's mercy, they said that was also OK.
         Sometimes when I needed to write, they would make an exception and let me write on their desk in the guard room. The night shift police even liked to talk and chat with me, asking me what I believed in. Some were very interested in my beliefs. Of course, some were rude, but many changed and became more friendly.
         One day, a police girl chatted with me while I was writing my story. She said, "You know, I hate to be a guard. I feel like a watchdog sometimes. When I was younger, I dreamed of being a spy or a detective, so I went to a police college. But I never thought that after many years in college I would fall into this hole of being a guard and watching criminals." (Graduated students could not choose their job but could only take what the government had to give them to do. They have no choice themselves.)
         She said, "At least you know what you are doing and you believe in something; but I don't even know why I'm here. The worst thing is I don't have any compassion anymore. My heart has been getting colder and colder. And now, because I have no idea when I'm going to be able to get out of this hole, I'm a little bit worried about myself. I'm afraid that as time passes, I might become a heartless person." I felt so sorry for her after hearing her heartcry and I prayed that the Lord would have His way with her.
         Because I was in the guard's room and I didn't know if I was being listened to, I could not directly tell her about salvation. My concern was not only because of me but mainly because of her, as I didn't want to get her into a lot of trouble for letting me out of the cell to sit in the guard room. So I said, "Maybe you can start doing some good deeds! They will return to you for sure. But don't ever harden your heart! Try love. -- It can melt your coldness."
         She said, "I'll try."

The Small Wooden Boat Dream
         After the third day, whenever they called me out, it was more for brainwashing than interrogation. They would talk to me and try to "clear my mind." They were being more polite in their questions and the chief would always sit beside me. Sometimes he would ask me something, but he always tried to present the question politely and calmly.
         After a few days, they just let me stay in the cell and asked me to write about my life. They didn't question me for a number of days. I started to lose the peace the Lord had given me, because I didn't know what was going on with my case. I would look out the tiny window near the ceiling of my prison cell, but I couldn't even see a bird fly over. I didn't know anything about my girls. I was so broken.
         At that time I had the same dream for several nights in a row. In the dream I was floating on the sea in a very small wooden boat, out of sight of the shore. The sea was stormy, and I would be tossed up onto the top of the waves. I always felt like I could fall out of the boat into the roaring ocean below. Yet I would always stay in that little boat. It would never turn over, and I would never fall out. I thought that it was very strange that I always dreamed the same dream.
         I asked the Lord "What do these dreams mean? Why do I have the same dream every day? How long do I have to be here? When will the end of this trial come?"
         The days went by and I was waiting to be judged and punished. The old prisoners told me that if they judged you and your case was finished, then you were sent to normal prison. At least you knew then how long you would have to wait for your freedom. But here you never knew what was going to happen next.
         Some days later, they called me out. This time I was sent to the little room where the older policeman had interrogated me the last time. There he was, waiting for me again. I was told that he was a top official from the State Security Bureau. I thought that my case was probably getting more serious, so that's why he was waiting for me again.
         I prayed desperately for the Lord's protection and that the Lord would tell me what to say and what to do. To my surprise he was quite friendly this time. The first thing he said was, "I know your situation and that your health is not good. You are pregnant. How is life in here?"
         I said, "Oh, it's pretty bad, but I have received some special treatment. Thank you for that."
         He said, "Do you want to get out?"
         "Of course."
         "OK, then you have a choice. We have gone through all the cases of those involved with this group and we can see that your situation is different. It is a sad thing that you believe in God, a shameful thing for both the government and your parents. Also you are very stubborn and will not be persuaded. However, one thing we can see is that you really believe what you say!
         "We consider that your case is different. We haven't found any proof of criminal action like we did with some of the others. Also because of your health and your pregnancy, we are concerned and would like to help you.
         He continued: "So now you have to choose. You have to understand that you are involved with a very bad international sex organization. Maybe you don't know, but I can tell you the truth about everything they have done." He read me more articles that were full of lies.
         Then he went on: "Even your leader, Abe, whom you trust, he had to confess to breaking Chinese law. We asked him to leave China as soon as possible." I was very happy to hear that, because I knew that meant that Abe was quite safe and he wasn't being punished by the Chinese government. I was so thankful. I knew God had protected him and told him how to use wisdom with the Chinese police. I felt a very heavy burden was taken off my shoulders.
         The policeman said: "You see, when something happens, nobody can save you. All the foreigners have escaped and left all the Chinese here in prison. What do you think about that? Do you still believe that they are good people? Why didn't they stay here with you? They can't save you and you have to rely on the Chinese government and see if they will have mercy on you. After the stubbornness and unwillingness that you have shown to our government, we could even keep you for the rest of your life! Why did you get involved with them anyway? If you really wanted to believe in God, why didn't you go to the Chinese Church? I feel so sorry for you."
         Finally he said, "OK, go back now. We'll give you some time to think about what you're going to do. We don't know how to punish you; that will depend on your attitude."
         I wasn't surprised to hear that they could even keep me for life, because ever since I had been thrown in prison, my New Year's verse, "Be faithful unto death," had been echoing in my heart. Also, I knew I was the first Chinese national who had joined the Family, so I had prepared my heart for whatever happened.
         I was sure that they would punish me very soon and I figured they would send me to another prison. Abe had been driven out of China and some other Chinese brothers and sisters had been punished already. So I felt my turn would be coming soon.
         I prayed for help and remembered that the darkest hour is just before dawn. The only thing I needed to do was to hold on.
         That night I had the same dream of the little wooden boat on the sea, but the ending was different! A big wave came and tossed me out of the boat and then a storm wind picked me up and threw me far, far away. I thought that I was dying for sure this time, because I was flying through the sky! If I landed in the water, I could be swallowed up by another roaring wave. But a miracle happened and I landed on the shore! I woke up right at that moment! I was very happy, because I was sure that God was trying to show me something.
         Then the verse which I got for the New Year flashed across my mind: "Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer. Behold, the Devil shall cast some of you into prison that ye may be tried and ye shall have tribulation ten days. Be thou faithful unto death and I will give you a crown of life" (Revelation 2:10). I counted the days and saw that I had been in prison for more than ten days now. According to that verse, I knew God would do something very soon.

Free! The Boat Dream Fulfilled!
         After a couple of days I was sent to see the top official again. He was quite friendly and said: "Have you made your choice? Are you going to change your mind about believing in God, if you have to spend your life here?"
         I said, "No."
         He could hardly believe what I said. "What did you say?"
         "I said no."
         He stared at me for awhile, without a word. After a few minutes' pause, he said, "What if I set you free? Are you going to change your mind?"
         I said, "No."
         He was even more surprised. He asked me, "What are you going to do then?"
         I said, "Keep believing."
         He sighed and said, "What a pity for our communist country. But at least you have conviction about what you believe in. Because of your situation and your health, we are thinking of setting you free."
         Then they sent me back to my cell again. I thanked the Lord for what I was told by that policeman. But I couldn't get rid of the thought that they might deceive me, because they didn't explain any more to me. I prayed and asked the Lord to keep showing me His miracles.
         Sure enough, the Lord did another miracle: The next day, I was sent to the older policeman again. He was very sweet this time. He asked me to sit down and talked with me, rather like having a chat. He said, "Do you still remember that I told you, 'I was going to set you free' yesterday?"
         I said, "Yes. Do you really mean it?"
         He said, "Yes, I mean it. Because of your health, we will not keep you here any longer and we will not send you to court, so your case is closed. We are not sure when you will leave, but I can tell you that after a few days you will be free, I promise you. I will take care of it personally."
         Thank the Lord! He had answered my prayers, even better than I expected! Thank the Lord for such a miracle! Then this top policeman asked me, "You are sure that you are not going to change your mind after you are released?"
         "No, I will not." I replied.
         He said, "It's a great pity."
         I asked if our government allowed people to have religious freedom. He said, "Yes, of course." Then he became a little puzzled. He said, "But all of the foreigners are gone. How will you follow your beliefs?"
         I said, "I just believe in God, not in those foreigners. They can leave and I will keep on with what I believe. As I have said from the beginning, I believe in God. That is my religion. I believe in love. I don't think there is anything wrong with that."
         The man laughed. He said, "You are quite stubborn, but anyway, you can keep on with what you believe when we set you free. But don't get in contact with those foreigners again. Also, one thing we have to tell you is that all of the books and tapes that we took from you have been confiscated. We cannot give them back to you."
         I said, "You just told me that I was free to believe. Couldn't you at least give me back my Bible, please? It is the book from God, not from anybody else, not from the foreigners, right?"
         The man thought for a while and said, "Well, OK, we'll have to see. We will discuss it. I cannot promise it now."
         I praised the Lord in my heart! He told me that he would have to ask somebody to pick me up from jail, so I had to be patient and wait.
         In China, when you are released from jail, either a relative or your unit has to come to the prison to pay the fee for your meals and your stay at the prison. Someone had to come to receive you, otherwise they cannot let you go. He said that he knew my relationship with my family wasn't good, so he said that he was going to call my mother-in-law, Michael's mother.

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         The head of a Christian missionary group, which specializes in preaching the Gospel in China, helped us by writing the following history and summary on the church in China. Thank you, Mr. Balcombe! From this summary you can see what Becky's interrogator meant when he referred to the "Chinese Church."

         The Chinese Church
         Though Catholic missionaries, mostly with the Franciscan and Jesuit orders, had been working in China since the 16th century, their success was limited and converts few. Protestant missions began when Robert Morrison, of the London Missionary Society, landed in China in 1807. Though the work was slow at first, within a few decades tens of thousands of Chinese had converted to faith in Christ.
         During the second part of the 19th century, a popular revolution based on Christian doctrine, the "Heavenly Peace Revolution," nearly brought down the government of the Qing (Ching) Dynasty, before it was suppressed with the loss of tens of thousands of lives. Later, the anti-foreigner Boxer Rebellion in 1900 also resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of Chinese Christians and hundreds of missionaries.
         Missionary work during this century of wars and revolutions in China was not easy, but by 1949, when the Communist Party took control of China, it is estimated China had one million Protestant and three million Catholic Christians.
         After the establishment of the People's Republic of China, foreign missionaries were forced to leave, and the government set up an official church organization called the "Three Self Patriotic Association," that all Protestant Christians were required to join. The Catholics had to join the Catholic Patriotic Church, which does not recognize the authority of the Vatican or Pope. Thus many joined and to this date in &&&every major city these official churches operate under the scrutiny of and with the approval of the Communist government. However, as a whole, the teaching of these churches is very liberal and often political in nature. (Editor's note: This is what the interrogator referred to as the "Chinese Church"; it has no connections with foreigners or outside influences.)
         Thus from the establishment of these institutions to the present day, a vast majority of believers refuse to identify with these official church organizations. Due to major doctrinal differences, and the belief that the Church is under Jesus Christ, not the government, most Christians choose to meet in illegal "house churches."
         The "house church" movement began in the 1950s and now is in virtually every part of China. It is particularly strong in the rural areas. Unlike home fellowships or cell groups in the West, these house churches are full-fledged churches in their own right, and often several hundred to a thousand or more gather in these unofficial gatherings.
         Nobody really knows how many Christians are in China. Estimates of the official church place it at 30-40 million, while many Western church growth experts have estimated believers to be between 70-100 million or more. In many rural parts of China, it is not uncommon to find 30% or more of the population to be active Christians in these home fellowships. Today the vast majority would be considered to be Protestants, though there is an active underground Catholic Church. And it is estimated over 8 million new converts yearly are added to the home churches.
         There are many good and sincere believers and preachers in the official "Three-Self Church," but there is a radical difference between these churches and the home churches.
         Some of the characteristics of these indigenous churches are:
         (1) They are all strongly evangelical in doctrine. There is no place for liberal theology. Also we would consider most of them "Pentecostal" or "Charismatic" inasmuch as they regularly exercise gifts of the Holy Spirit and pray for the sick with outstanding miracles.
         (2) The church is basically one with no denominational or organizational divisions. Each village has one or several home churches, and in the cities hundreds of smaller fellowships meet in homes. While there is no organizational structure, they do have a strong "network" with each other.
         (3) Most Christians have a habit of rising early in the morning to pray for several hours, and prayer is a vital part of every meeting.
         (4) There is a great love of God's Word. To date Bibles are scarce in many parts of China, and some people still copy Scriptures by hand. Few Christians are interested in reading theological books or even books explaining doctrine, but they literally live on God's Word.
         (5) Chinese Christians have a passion to preach the Gospel, and most believers will lead one or several others to Christ yearly. They do not have evangelical crusades or radio and TV evangelism, as we do in the West. It is basically "every believer evangelism," thus many churches have grown 100% or more yearly.
         The above characteristics are ones that we all desire, and they came about through the persecution of the Cultural Revolution of 1965-1975. Persecution was severe, Bibles burned, and preachers put in prison or killed. Even the official church was forced to close. Believers could only meet secretly in their homes behind closed doors and windows. However it was during that time that the Holy Spirit moved on many and gave the Church the principles that are still in operation today, which has resulted in a Church that is numerically the largest and spiritually the strongest in the world.
         Since China opened in 1978, and China's government adopted a more liberal approach to dealing with Christians, we have been continually learning the secrets of the amazing miracle. The Christians have been careful to maintain these principles and not allow themselves to be corrupted with Western denominationalism.
         There is still a great need for Bibles, though a limited amount are printed in China through the official churches. Thousands of Christians from overseas yearly enter China to take in Bibles, and many more do tract distribution. Many "missionaries" are in China as teachers, businessmen or simply tourists. While persecution is still severe, it has not hindered the growth of the Christian Church.
         -- Dennis Balcombe (Revival Christian Church)

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Friends in High Places!
         This top official personally took charge of my situation and would sometimes come himself to my cell to tell me news of my case. That was very unusual. Even the guards were surprised, because they had never seen their top boss going back and forth so many times to pass on news and to talk to a prisoner on such a personal level.
         One day he told me that Michael's mother had refused to receive me from jail, so I suggested that he could ask my parents. The next day, he came to my cell again. He told me that for some reason he could not get in touch with my parents. He said, "But don't worry. I promise you I will try to get in touch with them as soon as possible!"
         Two days later in the afternoon he came again by himself. He let me step through the big iron door and go through the dark tunnel out into the bright sunshine. Thank the Lord! I was so happy! My mother was standing there waiting for me. I was so thankful that the Lord answered my prayer that my mother could overcome her embarrassment and shame and get me out.
         The three of us were standing there looking at each other silently for quite a while. Then the top policeman said, "After all, she's your mother."
         He also told me that Michael's unit wasn't so helpful and that Michael would not be released for two more days. Then he walked with us quite a distance to the main gate of the prison. We thanked him for his help, and he was smiling at me and waving "Good-bye!" as we left. I thanked the Lord for how He had worked in this man's heart.
         After two days I went to the same prison to get Michael out. I saw one of the policemen who had interrogated me. He told us that Michael's unit had been informed that if they tried to make trouble out of this incident, they would be in trouble, because in the eyes of the police, the matter was closed.
         The next morning there was a knock at my door. It was an unexpected visit from one of the policemen who had questioned me. I was puzzled, but he asked if he could come in and talk.
         He said: "I just wanted to come and tell you that I am very sorry for all the interrogations. I now know what kind of person you are. That's just my job, you know! I must do my job. So I just came to apologize if I have done anything to make you upset. I don't want you to hate me."
         I said, "I don't hate you. Please don't think that, because Christians don't hate people. You did your best, I know."
         He said, "I hope you know that I tried my best to help you with what I could do. I hope that I can do more."
         "If you want to help me more and if it's possible, please ask them to give my Bible back."
         He said that he was going to try. I really thanked him and said, "God bless you!" He smiled and patted my shoulder.
         "Wait for the good news!" he said when he left. That afternoon, at about 5:00 p.m., he phoned us and said, "Please come to get your Bible!" That was great news for us!
         After we got out of prison we were being harassed by the local police station and the neighborhood committee, so we prayed and the Lord showed us what to do. From then on we openly let people know that we believed in God, and we no longer kept our beliefs secret as we had before.
         One friend had given us a very big portrait of Jesus, so after we got out of prison, we hung it on the wall in our house. Whenever anyone came to visit us, the first thing they saw was Jesus! So they understood right away that we were Christians, without having to ask. If they were interested in the Lord, they would ask us many things about the picture. This portrait of Jesus caused many souls to be won to Him!

"Where Is My Daughter Maria?"
         After I arrived home, I asked Michael's mother where Rainbow was. She said that because she didn't know when both Michael and I would return, she had to give Rainbow to an old lady to look after. I said that I had hoped she or Michael's sister would take care of her. She got a bit upset at that and said that it was not their duty. When I asked her if she could get Rainbow back right away, she said that it was not that easy, and that I would have to wait until the next day. I prayed for patience.
         In the afternoon of the next day, Rainbow was back home. It was so nice to see her again. But Rainbow was so quiet; she didn't talk or run around, but just followed me very closely wherever I went. That was not how my Rainbow used to act! I think she was still frightened. I prayed with her and asked the Lord to comfort her and take away any bad memories.
         After Rainbow came back, Michael's mother talked to me and said, "You had another child, right?" At first I was surprised that she knew, so I didn't answer her. She said, "Don't try to cover it up! I already know. Two foreigners came and gave the child back while you were in prison."
         When I asked where Maria was, she passed me an envelope and there was some money in it, the equivalent of about $100 US.
         "What's this?" I asked.
         She said, "I gave this child to somebody else, because I couldn't take care of her while you were in prison and that's the money I got for her."
         I didn't know what to say, and started crying. I asked, "Why did you do this?"
         She said, "What could I do? You were not here! You were in prison! I didn't know when you would come out. I just tried to find a place for this child."
         "But not by selling her! She's your granddaughter!" I was so sad that Maria had been sold! She was only eight months old! Michael's mother refused to tell me where the child was. Later we found that she had sold this child for a lot more money than she had given us. Also the local police and authorities had been working hand-in-glove with her in this matter, because they got benefits themselves for selling Maria, as the person who bought her was in an important position. That's why nobody would tell us where Maria was, or help us find her.
         You might wonder why someone would want to buy Maria? In China, everybody had to have abortions, if they already had a child. So people who were childless had a difficult time finding a baby to adopt. Most of the babies left in the hospitals were handicapped. There were some babies in the countryside who had been forsaken by their mothers, but it wasn't easy to do legal adoptions. So with Maria, Michael's mother and her government friends thought they had an opportunity which they could use. One of her friends was a lawyer, and so they thought they could present legal papers for her. They sold Maria to the daughter-in-law of a high official, a girl who was unable to have children herself.
         Before that, Maria had lived with a very sweet Family couple who wanted to save her life and legally adopt her. I had been able to see Maria every couple of months. She was healthy and happy. I could not express how thankful to the Lord and also to that couple for caring for her. We went to court to have a legal adoption, which according to the law should have been done without any complications. But in China the court does not always follow the law.
         In court, they asked me many strange questions which were not their business and had nothing to do with the law. They asked, "If you want your baby to be adopted, why don't you give her to a Chinese couple instead of these foreigners?" "How did you get to know them?" "Do you really trust them?" "Why do you trust them?" "Is that child from that man who wants to adopt her? Did you ever make love with that man?" etc., etc. I felt sick with their questions, but I had to be very patient with them.
         But before we had time to complete the adoption process, the persecution swept the whole country and this couple was forced to leave the country. Because Maria's paperwork was not done yet, she could not go with them. Later I heard that Maria's foster parents were heartbroken, and they had even tried to hide in their embassy for quite a few days to try to find a way to take Maria before they left, while many of us had already been thrown into prison. God bless them! They tried their best for Maria, because she was their child. She had been with them from the very second day after she was born until she was eight months old!
         But their departure date came, their flight was ready to leave, and they saw that they would have to leave Maria behind. When they came to our house, Michael's mother was the only person they could talk to, so they had to hand Maria to her. Because they had wanted to keep Maria as long as they could, they almost missed their flight on that day. Thank the Lord that they were able to leave safely!
         Back to my story. After Michael came back home, we tried to find news about Maria from the police. The local police told us that we should be thankful that my second child had a place to get fed, and if we kept making trouble, we would get arrested again. It was easy to see that all of these devils were working together against us and against God.
         Our whole neighborhood knew what had happened. Some people sympathized with us and said, "Well, of course she shouldn't have had another child, but the grandmother shouldn't have sold the child! She can't just give away a child without permission from her parents!"
         All the Family people had left by that time and we couldn't ask anyone from the authorities about this matter directly. We prayed and were really broken and asked the Lord what we should do. Michael's mother was hard as a rock and refused to tell us even one word. It seemed that there was nothing we could do except pray.
         On top of that I was pregnant with my third child. When Michael's mother found out that I was pregnant again, she reported this to the local government, so then I had the local Birth Control Office breathing down my neck and threatening me. They came to our home every day to try to force me to get an abortion. I felt so weak, both physically and spiritually.
         Now that it's all in the past, it's easy to say that we stood up against the Devil, but when we were in the thick of it, it wasn't easy. To be honest, I must confess I sometimes lost hope. It was so hard for me to hold on.
         It was such a comfort when we received a phone call from the Family outside the country! They told us that they would pray for us and we had to try our best to find Maria! We received a lot of encouragement from this contact with the Family, because we knew that there were people praying for us.

The Lord Works on Our Behalf!
         More than a month later, Michael's older sister came to our home to see her mother. Later we found out that Michael's sister had conspired with her mother to get rid of Maria, because both of them were Communist Party members and they didn't want anybody to know that there was someone in their family who had broken the law by having a second child.
         Michael tried to talk to his mother and sister and ask about the baby, but they wouldn't say anything. Because we knew that the police were a part of their plot, Michael said that he would go to the police station and do a hunger strike there until they agreed to help. But he also said that his sister had to be there with him till the strike was over. He tried to take her to the police station, but she refused to go.
         Michael had learned how to hold a person captive when he was in the army. So he took his sister and held her a certain way so that she couldn't struggle or resist, and he pulled her out of the apartment building. Because both his mother and his sister knew that Michael had this special training, they were so scared! His sister shouted at the top of her voice, "Help! Help!"
         His mother started to scream, "Help! My son is going to kill my daughter!"
         A big crowd started to gather outside the building and they stopped the traffic. Because of the traffic jam, the crowd got even bigger and bigger. Some people were saying, "Tell them where their child is! It was very bad to sell her!"
         Others said, "You don't have to scream like that! Just tell him where his daughter is, and he will let you go!"
         Still others said, "Where is the police? They should help!"
         Some threatened Michael's mother, "If you don't tell your son where your granddaughter is, you could be sent to court!" And it went on and on!
         Michael's mother said, "We didn't sell her! We just gave her away!"
         People shouted from the crowd, "What's the difference? She is your flesh granddaughter! You're a heartless grandmother!"
         At that moment, an older man who had been a high government official in the past asked Michael's mother and sister to his home. Meanwhile, some people from the crowd called the police. The local police came right away. They talked for quite a while in the older man's house.
         After a little while, the old man came to see us and said to Michael, "They will try to find a way to get your child back, but until then, you can't do anything."
         He was trying to negotiate for us. The police saw that if they kept on going along in their plot together with Michael's mother, the people would turn against them and this matter could get out of hand.
         Most people said, "No matter how many children they have, a child is not something that you just sell or take away without permission." We felt a ray of hope that things were starting to change.
         A little while later, Michael's mother got very sick and had to go to the hospital. She was dying of cancer, and although we suspected that her sickness was a punishment from God, we still tried to help her as much as we could. She didn't like the hospital food, so I always cooked special food for her so Michael could take it to her in the hospital. I also encouraged Michael to go to the hospital to help her wash, take care of her, and do everything for her.
         At first Michael didn't want to, because he thought that his mother didn't deserve all this help. He was very broken from this latest thing that his mother had done, after having betrayed his father so many years earlier. I could understand Michael, because Maria is my own daughter too. My heart was torn just like his. But we had to see what the Lord wanted to teach us. We prayed together, and sought the Lord, and we realized that we needed to ask Him to give us His forgiveness and His deeper love.
         The Bible says, "If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee" (Proverbs 25:21,22). Jesus also said, "I say unto you: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you, that ye may be the children of your Father which is in Heaven. For He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" (Matthew 5:44,45). "As ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? For sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? For sinners also do even the same" (Luke 6:31-33).
         After we sought the Lord's will, Michael went to help her there every day. But even though we were kind and forgiving to her, she still refused to tell us where Maria was.
         She said, "Even if you find her someday, you will never know where she has been all this time."

Our Battle to Buy Back Our Daughter!
         A few days after that big event, when Michael tried to pull his sister to the police station for a hunger strike, two visitors wearing the prosecutor's uniform from court knocked on our door. They questioned me: "Do you know that you broke the law by having a second child? And look, you are expecting one more. Why do you insist on getting your daughter back?"
         I said, "It's very strange that you, being prosecutors of the government, ask me this kind of question. I'm her mother. She is my child and she got sold for money. Of course I want to find her and get her back! Why don't you ask the grandmother why she sold my child! Look at your uniform! Don't you know who is breaking the law?"
         After a few more negative questions from them, Michael said, "If you keep bothering us, I will call the police."
         So Michael telephoned the police, and while he was talking with the police, one of the visiting officials grabbed the phone, and whispered something to the policeman Michael was talking to. A few minutes later, he handed the phone back to Michael. The policeman who was on the phone warned Michael, "Let the prosecutors leave right now without any more interference with you, or we will arrest you."
         Around that time, a lot of people complained about the matter of selling a child for money. The news spread everywhere. The police didn't want people to know that they were a part of it and they didn't want to let the whole affair get any bigger either. So they tricked us.
         A few days later, we got a phone call from the police, who said, "If you want Maria back, you will have to pay some money for her. If you can make it within three days, you can come to the police station to get your daughter!" They named a very high price, probably thinking we would never be able to get that amount. They thought that if we couldn't pay, we would stop looking for her.
         We didn't know how we were going to get that amount of money within three days, so we prayed and asked the Lord to do a miracle! On the first and second day, we sold everything that we could spare from our house, even some of our clothes. That didn't bring us much.
         Only one day left. It looked like there was no hope for us to get the amount of money we needed. We prayed so desperately, expecting miracles, because we didn't even have enough time to ask the Family for help. We knew that it had to be a miracle for us to get that amount of money within three days!
         On the third day, the last day, the miracle began to happen. Many people came to give us money, which was very rare in China. People just wanted to help with what they could, when they heard that we had to pay to get Maria back. These people didn't have a lot, but what many gave was quite a bit for them -- like a whole month's salary! Some people loaned their savings to us and told us whenever we could return the funds to them would be fine! God bless them! (Later, we got the help of a large financial gift from the Family, so we were able to pay the loans back to these sweet people.)

Deceived by the Police!
         On the morning of the fourth day, Michael went to the police station with the money. Because we believed what the police had told us, that we could have Maria back for that amount of money, we thought for sure that Maria would be there. So we asked one of our friends to go to the police station with Michael, in case he could not handle both the police and Maria at the same time. I couldn't go with them, not only because I was with Rainbow, but also because of my pregnancy. I had to wait anxiously at home.
         When I saw Michael, I was shocked! "Where is Maria?" I asked him.
         "Maria was not there!" he said.
         "Did you give them the money?" I asked. He said that he did. I asked, "Why did you give them the money if Maria was not there?"
         "The police asked me for the money first. But then after they took the money, they told me that Maria was not there!"
         "Did you ask them for the money back?" I asked him. He said that he did, but the police would not give it back. "Did they give you a receipt?" I asked. He said that he asked for one, but the police refused to give him a receipt. "Did they tell you when Maria will be back?" I asked. He said that the police told him that they didn't know.
         My heart almost stopped beating. What news! We had been cheated by the police! It felt like the end of the world! What if the police would say that we had never given them that money?! We didn't even have a receipt to prove that we had!
         And sure enough, that was exactly what had happened to us. After the police took the money, they denied that we had ever given it to them, and they said that we could not prove that we had given them that money for Maria.
         One day a policeman came to our house and said to me, "You said that you gave us some money. Where is the receipt?"
         I said, "You didn't give us a receipt."
         "Then you didn't give us the money, because you cannot prove it!" he said. Facing that policeman, I didn't know what to do. It was like death to me! My daughter was sold by them for money, but now they had cheated us again. How much money did they want for that poor child? Now we had lost our child, lost our money, and we were carrying the debt of what we had borrowed to buy her back. What would happen to us next? I could do nothing but pray. Only the Lord could show me what to do.
         Right at that moment, I remembered the boy who had gone to the police station with Michael on that day. Because he had stayed outside the door, the police didn't know that he was there. Then I said to that policeman, "Even though you didn't give us a receipt, I still can prove it. I have a witness! He was right outside of the door when Michael handed you the money. Do you want me to go and get him?"
         The policeman was astonished. But then he said, "So what! Your witness still won't help you anyway. Even if you go to court, you would never win the case. So you'd better take my advice and don't go there!"
         We were trapped. Two months had passed since Maria was sold. Only a few weeks were left before my due date. On top of that, we had the Birth Control Office coming to harass me everyday. I felt I was almost being driven crazy, because I never knew what was going to happen the next minute. We were not just holding on to the Lord day by day, but minute by minute. Every day was a miracle to us, which shows we were still alive and fighting.
         We got a letter from the Family, and knowing that so many brethren were praying for us and our daughter Maria was such a comfort and encouragement to us. "As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country" (Proverbs 25:25).
         We knew that it would take a miracle to get Maria back, and we prayed, with our hearts torn apart. During that time, people around us started to show their adverse feelings towards some of the police. Some of them even suggested that we sue them.
         The police didn't like for the people to act like that. They didn't want the situation to get out of control. They were under pressure.
         While we were praying for the Lord's mercy, we also went to the police station very often to ask them to give us Maria, even though we knew that they would not help us. We were just like the widow in the Bible, who kept asking and asking the unjust judge for help, until he finally gave in to stop her insistent pleading. For the Lord says, "Men ought always to pray, and not to faint. ... Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge His Own elect, which cry day and night unto Him, though He bear long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily" (Luke 18:1-8).
         Almost a month later, the police said, "OK! Come and get her tomorrow morning." The next morning Michael went to get her from the police station, where someone had dropped her off. Her head had been shaved. She was in rags and she was very, very dirty.
         When I saw her, I couldn't believe my eyes. I hadn't seen her for a few months and she looked like she had come out of a garbage can, black and dirty. Every new face she saw would scare her and make her cry; especially every time she saw a man she would scream or tremble. We could just imagine what must have happened to her during the past three months. She was not even a year old yet!
         At that time, my third baby was almost due and I had to carry Maria around all day long, because she wouldn't stay with anyone else, not even Michael. We prayed for her to have peace and for the Lord to drive away all the fear and whatever she remembered from her suffering.
         After we got her back, some people encouraged us to go to court against those who had committed this crime against our child. We didn't really want to get involved with the law as we felt it was no use, so some people did it for us. Just as we expected, the case failed. The court tried to excuse the police and Michael's mother with the fact that I had had a second child and was therefore not in a position to prosecute anyone else. Their other excuse they gave was that we had been in prison!
         It didn't really matter, though, because Michael's mother died of cancer soon after that. We also heard that one of the policemen who had been very hostile towards us was thrown out of the police force. It happened just the way Lord said, that He would avenge us speedily. The Lord punished those unjust people and took those away who had harmed us. He even used this whole affair for our benefit, because it turned many people's hearts and made them become very friendly towards us.

Fighting the Birth Control Officials
         As I had mentioned before, Michael's mother reported my third pregnancy to the local government. So during the time we were fighting to get Maria back, we were being harassed day after day by the birth control officials.
         First they came to our home and asked me to go to the hospital to have an abortion. I refused and prayed for God to help me. So they decided to come to my home every day from morning till evening to try to "persuade" me. In other words they tried to drive me crazy until I would just cave in mentally and have the abortion. In most cases they could get the results they wanted this way.
         Every morning they came at 8:00 a.m., then they left for a one-hour lunch break, and came back in the afternoon until about 6:00 in the evening. There were at least three, sometimes four people who kept talking to me. For the first few days I was just silent and let them walk around and talk and preach without doing anything. But, after that, I couldn't take it anymore.
         One morning when they knocked at the door, I decided that I was not going to open the door for them. So they went to the local police station for help. The police knocked on the door very hard and shouted, "You must open the door for them, or you're going to get into more trouble. If you don't want them to come, then go to the hospital with them for an abortion. Don't forget, you just got out of prison!"
         So after that, I had to let them in every day. Since I could not bear to hear them knocking on the door so loudly the first thing in the morning, I just opened the door wide after 7:30 a.m. They were very happy that I did that. Every morning after that, they would march into our house through the open door as if they were entering their own house. Daily I prayed before they came and after they left. I also asked God to protect both me and the baby against any bad influences from their spirits and their talking and pressuring me. Every night I prayed in bed, asking God to wash me with His Spirit and clear my mind and cleanse the baby.
         In the very beginning they just tried to persuade us to go to the hospital, because I still had about four months to go. But as time passed by and we didn't go, they started threatening us and telling us what would happen if we had this baby and that we would be severely punished. We would not only get the "Public Punishment" which would show people that we were rebels who had broken the Birth Control Law, we would also get the "Economic Punishment" which meant the government would cut Michael's salary by 25%, or we would have to pay a fine.
         They said that they had been very mild and very patient with me and that if I were in another place I would have probably been forced to go to the hospital already. They just kept on talking and talking all day, without doing anything physically, though they warned they might use force.
         One reason they were so upset was that in our area, we were the only district that had a third pregnancy. Up until that time, our district had been called a role model for not even having a second pregnancy. Another woman, they told me, who had wanted to have a second child and was being "persuaded" by them, ended up running to the hospital in her ninth month to get an abortion because she couldn't take it anymore. They said that nobody could withstand their constant pressure and they were sure that in the end my spirit would be broken by their tongues.
         I couldn't do anything; they followed me around the house wherever I went. Honestly, after three months of this daily harassment, I thought that I would die from their talking. I started to understand why that one woman went crazy during her last month. This all happened during the same time period when we got cheated by the police when trying to get Maria back. I felt threatened from both sides.
         From all this agony and torture, my health became very poor. I had acute gallstone attacks constantly. I would be fainting with pain and then I would think that I might have a miscarriage, because the sharp pains gave me a lot of strong contractions. On top of that, my nervous system was almost crushed. I was over-sensitive to any kind of loud sound, even loud talking. It gave me unbearable headaches. I desperately prayed for faith and strength, for the Lord to help me to hold on, and He didn't fail me!
         One day their leader told me that there had been a meeting for the whole country and many leaders had attended, including some church leaders. She told me that the church leaders had said that all the Christians in China needed to obey the government's birth control laws, even if it comes to abortion. She asked me, "What do you think about this? You said that you are Christians and here you see that even the church allows abortion. What excuse do you have now?"
         I smiled at her and prayed and said, "I think that's very easy to answer. I don't think these church leaders really believe in God. If they did, they wouldn't say something like that at such a meeting."
         The lady stared at me with her mouth hanging open for a long time. She didn't know what to say. At last she answered, "Well, I don't know what to say to you. But have you ever thought about yourself? How can you live in this world? In our country, the policy is really strict and tight. You couldn't even find a little hole to live in. Have you ever thought about yourself and what will happen to you?"
         I said, "I know, you told me already. But we pray and we believe that God will take care of us, no matter what happens."
         At that time, Maria came back to us, and I was taking care of both Rainbow and Maria. Rainbow was almost two and Maria almost one. On most days Michael had to go to work, so I had to stay at home with the two children, and all these birth control people. During the last month, just like they said, my spirit was almost destroyed. Every night I would pray, "Oh God, please forgive me for being weak, but I can't bear it anymore." Sometimes I murmured and said, "God, why are you making life so hard for me?"
         But I could hear His gentle voice saying, "Hold on, My child." I remembered very clearly that the Lord always told me the same words: "Stand back and see Me fight!" So with each new day, God would give me peace and strengthen me to meet them again. Whether I liked it or not, He would just stick me out there on the front lines to fight against them. I knew very clearly that it wasn't me fighting; it was Him.

My Delivery Prepared by the Lord!
         My situation was now similar to the second pregnancy: Because I hadn't gone to the hospital for a checkup, that meant that I couldn't go to a hospital to have the baby. When only one week was left before my delivery, one of our friends came and asked me, "Have you found any place for the delivery?"
         I said, "No, I don't trust the people at the hospital, and I can't go there anyway."
         "But what are you going to do?"
         "I don't know. -- God knows! Probably I will have this baby at home."
         He thought that I was crazy. He told me I shouldn't do that. He wanted to introduce me to a midwife, but he wasn't sure if this midwife had enough faith to help me or not. A few days later he came back and told me the midwife wanted to help. Praise the Lord!
         This midwife was very kind and later we became good friends. She was very helpful, and understood my situation and what I believed.
         When I went for a checkup, the hospital said that this baby was very small, because my tummy looked like I was one month less than I was. Also some people said that because this baby had suffered so much with me both physically and spiritually, it might be very undeveloped or handicapped. I had to hang on to the Lord and claim a miracle.
         So on November 22, 1986, the contractions were coming and I went to the hospital to meet the sweet midwife. She was very kind and prepared everything for me and told the other nurses to be helpful and try to understand my situation. This time, I hoped that things would be much smoother than my second delivery. Thank God for His care.
         At about 6 p.m., the baby was coming and they sent me to the delivery room. The midwife looked out of the window and said, "Look, it's snowing outside. It's so nice that it's snowing!"
         That was the very first snow of that year and I was so happy to hear it. It reminded me of the verse from Psalms that says, "He gave snow like wool" (Psalms 147:16a). I felt that God was sending me and the child His greetings. Also I believed that it was a sign from the Lord that my baby had been cleansed from all kinds of persecutions and it would not be handicapped. I was praising the Lord in my heart!
         It was a hard birth again. Everybody thought that the baby was very small, maybe less than three kilos (about six and a half pounds), so the third childbirth for a small baby should be very easy with no complications. But the Lord's ways are never our ways. He wanted to keep my eyes always on Him instead of anybody else, not even on the sweet midwife.
         When the baby's head came out, the midwife and all the nurses were shocked. From the head they could tell that she was far bigger then what they thought. On top of that they could see that the baby had the cord around its neck. The cord was pulled very tight while the baby was trying to come out, and she was being choked.
         They were not sure how many times the cord was around the baby's neck, so they could not cut it right away. At the same time, they were not sure how tight the cord was on the neck, so they didn't want the baby to keep coming out like that, as it could choke the baby to death if it was too tight.
         While they were discussing what they should do, I prayed very desperately. I thanked the Lord for the miracle that He had done in keeping this baby so far. I asked Him to bring it into this world safely, just as He had done with the deliveries of Rainbow and Maria. The Lord didn't fail me!
         Before I was completely exhausted, another very strong contraction came, so the baby was able to move out more. That gave the midwife a chance to cut the cord carefully. After a few more strong contractions, the baby was out safely! It was a baby girl. Praise the Lord!
         When they put the baby on the scale, she weighed four kilos (about nine pounds). It is quite unusual to have a baby this size in China, especially in my case. The midwife said, "Look, you've got a very big baby!" I almost couldn't believe my ears, because everyone had said that I was going to have a small, skinny, undeveloped and handicapped baby, because of all the hardships I had been through. But God had made a very big fruit for His purpose! Snow -- that's what we called her -- was very big and healthy, and she was a proof that if something is part of His plan, He will take care of it!

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"He Giveth Snow!"
         The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear Him, in those that hope in His mercy.
         He hath blessed thy children within thee.
         He maketh peace in thy borders.
         He sendeth forth His commandment upon Earth: His Word runneth very swiftly.
         He giveth snow like wool.
         (Psalm 147:11,13b,14a,15-16a, KJV.)

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Birth Control Official Completely Won Over!
         After Snow was born, the birth control people stopped coming. Only the leader dropped by sometimes, but she had totally changed. She came as a friend, not as before. She told me that now she believed what I said -- that we were not just making trouble and wanting a boy. She explained how she had been working in the birth control office for many years, but she had never seen someone go through with a second or third birth. From then on she wanted to try to help me.
         In China, only the firstborn child can get citizen's registration. If you cannot get registration, then you belong to the "black people." You can't get any of the rights and benefits that other people have, even for food rations. Also you can't get a passport or any other legal ID. In order to get the registration, you have to get permission from the birth control office.
         So this woman said, "I will try my best to get registration for these two children, even if it comes to me losing my job." God bless her! Finally she succeeded and afterwards she resigned from her job. She knew that if she didn't, she might get some kind of punishment. But she said that she couldn't take it anymore and that she didn't want to persuade people to kill their babies. God really changed her heart and we became good friends.
         She would often visit us and help us with legal matters. Even though she was a member of the Communist Party and never said that she wanted to believe in Jesus, in her heart, she had pretty much accepted Him. She also brought her daughter, who is two years older than Rainbow, to our house to play with my girls. She let her pray with them whenever they'd pray. Every Christmas she would send us a card and write "God bless you" on it.

How We Survived
         After we had the baby, sure enough we were given the punishments the government had threatened us with: "Public Punishment," where our public record personal files were marked to show we were rebels against the law, to give us a bad name, make it difficult to find another job or move, and to intimidate others; and "Economic Punishment," to make it very hard for us to survive. Michael's salary was cut by 25% and this cut was to last for 14 years. I was no longer working, so the five of us got only about $20 US per month. Many people were curious to see what would happen to us and how we would survive.
         Not only this, but when Snow was three months old, I was forced to have an operation. The government hospital cut my tubes on both sides, so that I could no longer have babies. That was a horrible experience, because I was not even put to sleep while they cut my tubes. It was so painful that without the Lord holding my hand, I would never have made it!
         I could have had another fight with the government about this operation, because I was being forced to have it. But we prayed, and it looked like the only way to protect the lady who helped us to get our two children registered was to agree to let the government cut my tubes. This is the only excuse which she can use if trouble or persecution comes to her one day because of helping us.
         Even though all kinds of punishments came, one after another, God used all these hardships to attract people's attention and show them great miracles and how He could take care of us!
         We prayed desperately for our situation and asked for His supply. Thank God for the Family in Japan, who got in touch with us and told us that they would help support us to provide for the children. But because we just got out of prison, we didn't know if we'd be allowed to get money from abroad.
         We got a money order from the Family, but the bank told us that we had to keep the money in the bank for three months! The hidden reason was so that the government could make use of these foreign funds. What were we supposed to do? We needed the money to buy food right away.
         We prayed together and asked God for a miracle and that's exactly what happened! Many friends came to our home to see us, and whenever they came, they brought food, meat, milk, etc. Some people even donated some money to us. After three months, we again went to the bank and got the money. Thank the Lord!
         Of course, we had our share of battles as well. I was only 29 at the time, and Michael was 33, so for young people like us, to raise three children, each born one year apart, was not easy. Rainbow was two, Maria was one, and Snow was just born. Sometimes I wouldn't know what to do. Michael had to go to the office, and I would be with the kids from morning to night, and it left me exhausted.
         Whenever I got sick for some reason while Michael was not at home, the children would be crying and crawling around by themselves. Especially when I was hit with the acute gallstone attacks, I could not even move. In this case, the little girls could not get fed or their diapers changed until Michael came home.
         A lot of times, if I needed to go to the market to buy some food, I would lock the three little girls in the house and run out to do some shopping. Once through the mail I explained my situation to the Family, and they told me that I shouldn't do things like that! What if they touched an electric outlet and received a shock? What if they turned on the gas? What if they knocked over the thermos and got burned by the boiling hot water? What if they climbed up on a high place and fell down, etc., etc.? There were many, many dangerous things that could happen, because I have three non-stop active girls!
         In a letter to me, the Family told me a solution: If I really needed something while Michael was away, I could ask the neighbors or pay extra money to ask anyone who could help me to do the outdoor trips. God bless them! I was very thankful for that counsel, because I had never thought of that.
         I didn't have any experience in raising three young children like this without any help. I felt exhausted, because I hardly got even a few hours sleep every day. I would fall asleep while I was feeding the children. Michael was very tired too. He had to help me after he came back from his work. We hardly had the time to read and we would neglect the Word sometimes and get too involved in physical things, and that dragged our spirits down.
         I remember how the Devil tried to tell me, "Oh, look at that! You have to work from morning to night, and you don't have any time to read and to listen to God!" Or he would try to make us worry how we were going to eat, and keep the kids warm. "Yes, you got some help from the Family today, but what about the future?" I must confess, sometimes when my spirit was weak and I was too involved in my daily life and work, I would get really worried. So whenever that happened, God would teach us something or have something happen to remind us that we needed His help and we needed to desperately pray and remember how many blessings we had.
         The Lord reminded us to put Him first, and by not just taking care of our children's physical needs, but to be sure to train them spiritually. Whenever we practiced that, we would get whatever we needed! We would see powerful miracles. So during the next six years after the persecution, we got a lot of prayer, donations and help from the Family from all over the world. I just want to say thank you many times to everyone who fervently prayed for us and who sent us support. God bless you all! I appreciate you with all my heart!!!

(To be continued!)


Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family