The Family in Action--#14 DFO
A Special Life!

December 1996 by The Family, Zurich, Switzerland

This Issue:

         A Special Life   1
         My Special Cross (Poem)  11
         A Bus Missed, but a Soul Saved!  12
         Not Just Any Car         13
         It Pays to Give to God!  13
         After Giving, His Customers Never Ran Out!       13
         A Promise Fulfilled!     14
         Deaf Catacombers a Terrific Witness!     14
         A Japanese "Butterfly"
         Golden Butterfly (Song)  16

*****

A Special Life
A Professional Nurse, Raised in Postwar Germany, Who Left All Behind to Follow Jesus!
By Faith of Philip, Southeast Asia
         Dear Faith, who has been diagnosed as having terminal cancer, wrote this fascinating account of her life at Maria's request. God bless you, Faith! You're an inspiration to us all!

         World War II was drawing to a close when, in 1944, I was born in a little village in northern Germany, the seventh of nine children. My parents were born-again Baptists. During my childhood, I remember being very happy and protected, though we were poor because my parents had to flee from the Russians at the end of WW II and leave all our belongings behind.

Childhood in Postwar Germany
         I had to work quite a bit as a child and learn how to cook, clean, wash laundry, iron and sew. As long as my parents stayed close to the Lord, our family life was happy. My father had big dreams for us and took good care of us. He never drank or smoked. On the other hand, he was a firm and strict disciplinarian, and I remember him being very domineering and loud. He planned everything for us: how we should be, what friends we should have, etc. He could never understand that we all had our own personalities and wanted to live our own lives.

How the Lord Worked in My Parents' Lives
         The Lord gave my parents a child with a harelip, and another child that was very slow and needed care. I was his favorite child, and sad to say, he didn't keep it a secret. My five brothers were often jealous of me, and teased me about it, although I didn't enjoy his favoritism and wished he wouldn't be that way toward me. Later, his children all disappointed him, and he became bitter towards God and others.
         We children felt closer to my mother than my father, because he often murmured and was quite negative. He was a firm believer in women doing the housework, and so my mother was overworked, with five sons who weren't expected to help. My mother had to swallow a lot, but she stood by my father through thick and thin, even years later when he became ill with throat cancer. She was simple, but happy, and I don't remember her complaining. I think she really loved my father.
         When he got throat cancer, his voice box was removed and he couldn't speak any more. I remember the change that came about then in my father; he became more mellow and peaceful. During the last years of his life I saw him reading the Bible quite often, and I felt much closer to him than I had felt all during my childhood.
         He died peacefully after many years of suffering, longing to go Home to be with Jesus. It was shortly after his death that I met the Family and joined, so maybe he helped to direct things from Heaven.

Glimpses of Heaven as a Child
         As a child, I felt Jesus so close to me, and the few Bible stories that I heard in Sunday school became very real. I remember monthly prayer meetings being held in our house, but we little children were not allowed to be in those meetings. A few times though, I managed to sneak in behind the closed doors, or sit under the window in the darkness, just to get a glimpse of Heaven in my heart. I couldn't wait to be old enough to be able to go to these important prayer meetings, where the young people and some adults gathered together for prayer and reading the Word. These meetings were the high point of the month, because nobody had televisions in Germany in the post-war years.
         In those early days I was ready to get saved, but they failed to teach us younger kids about salvation. Then later, when I was 12 years of age, my grandmother, God bless her, invited me to pray with her to receive Jesus, and I did. Hallelujah!
         But sad to say, my grandmother was the type of Christian Dad talks about in his Letter "Be So Happy" -- always sad and moaning, acting as sober as "Jenny the mule," instead of being full of joy as we know a Christian can and should be. Any kind of happiness was considered a sin by her. I did not want that kind of religion, and I distanced myself from her, not wanting to go to her church anymore. Soon she gave up on me and made me believe that I had lost my salvation. I wanted to enjoy life, and if it wasn't possible to enjoy life in church, I was willing to go to the System for it.

Off the Devil's Shovel! -- Kept by the Lord!
         My father used to always say, "You jumped off the Devil's shovel lots of times when the Lord protected you, so God must have a plan for your life." I had so many accidents happen while I was growing up which could have killed me, but the Lord miraculously protected me.
         For example, when I was a baby my three-year-old brother pulled me in a wooden wagon onto a railroad track and left me there while he went off to play in the nearby fields. A neighbor lady pulled me off the track just a few seconds before a train would have run right over me.
         Then, at the age of four, I nearly drowned in a deep pond, but my brother Gerhard fished me out in time to save my life. One year later, while skating on the ice, I tried to rescue my brother Norbert (six) who had broken through the ice, but instead I fell in too! Again, Gerhard, who was seven or eight years old, saved us both.
         At the age of 16 a man tried to rape me. I fought for my life and got away.
         Before I reached 18, I had spent a full year in hospitals, first with a burst appendix, and then because of injuries sustained in a ski accident. For nearly two years I was in therapy and limping.
         At the age of 28 I had an experience like Dad described in his Letter "Spiritual Communications," when I felt danger just before it happened. I was walking through a park at night when a voice told me, "Stop! Turn around and run away!" When I did so, a man who was waiting for me jumped out of the bushes. If I had passed the bushes, I would have been cut off with no way out because the path led straight to the water. I ran away quickly, and escaped. It always amazed me how much strength you suddenly get during those times when you're in danger. I already knew back then that it was supernatural.

Teenage Heroes Lead to My Becoming a Nurse!
         In my teenage years I admired Florence Nightingale and Jean Henri Dunant (founder of the Red Cross). I was very idealistic and wanted to help change the world. That's why I decided to become a nurse after I finished high school. After specialized training, I worked for 12 years as a surgical nurse in exclusive hospitals.
         The comments about hardened nurses in Dad's Letter "Prayer for Love and Mercy" are so true. For many years I resisted becoming hard and merciless, but all that pain and the many bloody operations I had to assist in every day made me numb and hard on the outside or I would have collapsed.
         I saw that this occupation was not the answer I was looking for. We could not really help all these poor people and were just scratching the surface of their problems. In fact, I found out that the illnesses of most of the patients we worked on were psychosomatic. Their souls were sick and they needed spiritual counseling, and somebody who cared for and loved them and could help them overcome their fear, bitterness, hate, and learn to forgive. That's what made them sick. Scientists today know these problems can cause all kinds of sicknesses and weakness in your body.
         What these people needed was love -- God's Love. Many needed Jesus, and not a big operation. I became disgusted with the Godless, uncaring, and unloving spirit of the medical profession, draining the ignorant patients who were at the mercy of the doctors. The poor patients in their ignorance and desperation often seemed to worship the doctors and medicines as their saviors. So sad! Of course, some doctors were very sacrificial and really cared for their patients -- in my experience these were mostly Christian doctors. Nevertheless, all my illusions fell apart and I wanted to get out of there, marry, and have a family and children.

My Search for Happiness -- A Fast Life, and Lots of Pills!
         My search for love and a reason for living sometimes became unbearable. I thought for a while that living in high society, having lots of money to buy everything that I desired, traveling, participating in the more exclusive sports like sailing, skiing, etc., would make me happy.
         I moved from the countryside to the big city of Berlin and was looking for a doctor to marry. I jumped in bed with lots of doctors, and my sex life was very active. A few times I got engaged just to please my parents, but it never worked out.
         I was always afraid that life was passing me by, and I tried so hard to be happy. To keep up with that pace for 12 long years, I had to take lots of pills for sleeping, waking, digestion, pain, and for forgetting my problems. My kidneys also didn't work so well, so I had to take medicine for them, too.

My Dream Man?
         Then when I was 27, I met a young doctor, and this time I thought everything really clicked. It was love at first sight, and the Lord gave me the desires of my heart: money, high society, and a family. We decided to get together soon, and started talking about having children. Up to that point I had taken birth control pills, so I was thankful to be able to stop taking them. Soon I was overjoyed to find out that I was pregnant!
         But to my surprise, he didn't want the baby. Although he was thirty years of age, he said that he felt too young and wanted to wait a few years. That was just too much for me. That night I took all kinds of pills just to forget my problems, and later I was afraid that it might have harmed the baby, so after three months I decided to abort the baby in a real "nice" way, in an exclusive hospital.
         From that time on I was not the same person anymore. Feelings of guilt plagued me, and any time I saw a baby, I began to cry. My doctor friend was very sorry too. He even cried a few times, and said he wished we hadn't done it.
         After one year I got pregnant again, and I knew that this time everything was fine. I was so sure we had learned our lessons, but I was in for a big surprise! The same thing happened again: He didn't want the baby, and told me to abort it again. All my strength left me, and one thing I knew I could not do was kill that baby again. I've found that doctors so often think they have the power over life and death, and they decide who has to live, and who has to die.
         So I left him, and had to carry the responsibility of having the baby myself. Those were horrible months as I was totally alone, because I had become too big a problem for all my friends.

Problems Too Great for Me Alone
         When I was six months pregnant, I was told that I had syphilis, and that the baby would either be sick or stillborn! Goodness, I thought that was the most horrible disease anyone could have. I had treated patients who had it like outcasts, and now that's how I felt.
         The worst part about it all was that I had no one to share my deepest feelings with, let alone talk about such a shameful disease. I didn't dare open my heart to people, because in the world I grew up and lived in, it just wasn't done. The next two months were like hell for me, but I clung to a little hope that the Lord would perhaps have mercy and give me a healthy baby.
         When I was eight months pregnant I gave birth to a tiny girl, but she was dead. The world collapsed for me. I had lost the thing I wanted the most -- a baby.
         The doctor I had been with even had the guts to ask me to come back to him, but I could never live the same life again and pretend that nothing had happened. I just walked around making myself happy for ten minutes at a time by buying another coat, a dress, things I never needed or wore, and I always had lots of pills in my pockets. If things became too hard, I told myself, I could just take an overdose and end it all. -- My life was just too hopeless. I entertained those thoughts, but the little Christian upbringing I had prevented me from actually doing it. I knew it would be wrong.

Searching for Help from God
         In my need I went to a psychotherapist and listened to his lectures, hoping to find happiness there. I was amazed at how many students that guy had. So many young people were searching for the truth, and what they found was horrible! He was a real Freud-lover, and when he began to speak openly against God, laughing at people with faith in God, I knew he was wrong, and I never went back to him again.
         Then one evening I cried out to the Lord with all my heart: "If there is a God, please give me a reason to live, and help me to find people who think and feel like me, and who I can live with, together in love!" Every spiritual thing interested me. In those days I met the Hare Krishna, but they gave me the shivers. I felt a dark spirit from the ones I met, and felt there was nothing for me there. It was like the verse, "My sheep hear My voice and they follow Me." -- Or, in this case, it wasn't His voice, so I didn't follow.

The Truth -- At Long Last!
         A few days later I met a fellow who gave me the MO Letter, "Look of Love." I went home, read that Letter, and knew that was the truth. After 30 years, that was what I was searching for! -- My mind was blown! This Letter said just what I was thinking and feeling.
         The same evening I went to look for the Family. They had moved or somehow given me the wrong address, so I went all over the place trying to find them, asking everybody, but nobody had heard about them. I didn't give up though, and I prayed! I really felt the Lord had led me to these young people in answer to my prayers.
         Then later, by a miracle, I rang one doorbell and the same man who had given me the Letter opened the door. The Family had just arrived that same day to open a new Home in Berlin. They wanted to feel it out, see how the people would react to the literature, etc. Right then the Lord dropped me in their lap!
         I knew the Lord had sent them to rescue me because I could not have made it much longer. I prayed with them and got filled with the Holy Spirit. I became a totally new creature, happy again, and began witnessing to everybody I'd meet.

A Wildly Willing Witnesser!
         Dave Handyman was the shepherd of that Home, and when he went on to Dad and Maria's Home, Zadok took over. Every day I had classes and then went out witnessing, and I just loved it! I became a litnessing shiner.
         You should have seen all my doctor friends watching me stand on street corners like a little "beggar," giving out our literature, ha! They were completely shocked! They told me to go to a psychiatrist, that they would "fix me up again." They told me that this religious fanaticism sometimes happens to women who have lost a baby. "Don't worry, it will pass soon," they said, ha! Suddenly everyone became so concerned about me.
         I turned the hospital where I worked upside down! Everybody heard the Message! At first they wanted to throw me out, but I went on preaching and then even talked about joining these "fanatics." I went so far as to sterilize the verses I was learning, and put them on my operating table so I could spend every free moment I had between operations learning them.
         The director of the hospital came to me and offered me a bigger job with more money if I would just stop talking about Jesus. I had to laugh at all the dumb tricks the Devil used to try to keep me back. Nothing could have stopped me!
         I even had to fight with the Family to be able to join! At first they didn't want me to drop out, saying that I should remain outside the Family as a supporter, keep helping them with material needs, and that after all, I was "too old" for this movement. (I was just over 30, but back then, that was old, considering nearly all the members of the Family were just teens or young adults!) I knew I was a complete wreck and a sinner, but I prayed really hard that the Lord would have mercy and allow me to join. I felt it would be such an honor to be in this Family, so I prayed that if He wanted me to join, and to work with them full-time, He needed to make a way.

A Dream About Dad Helps Me to Join!
         Shortly after my prayer I had a dream in which I was walking all alone through a beautiful field of flowers, and I heard wonderful music coming from a house I was passing by. I wanted to go into the house, but there was a big pile of garbage obstructing the entrance and I couldn't walk through. I stood outside the door crying, and suddenly I heard all these voices calling out, "Oh, Mo, Mo!"
         I turned my head and saw Dad coming towards us. He was really angry, and took the garbage and tossed it left and right until the entrance was freed. Then he turned to me, took my hand, and walked with me into the house. Hallelujah! He'd rescued me at last!
         After I told the area shepherd the dream, he was convicted and, God bless him, he and Zadok (who had just come from London) helped me to join. I still had six months left of my contract at the hospital, but after faithfully witnessing to my director, he let me go after only three months, in April 1975. He (the director) read all the MO Letters I gave him, and told me, "In a way, I envy you. You've found something worthwhile to do with your life. If I were as young as you, I would do the same." He admitted that he was very dissatisfied with his own life.
         The young doctor that I had been with before had been thinking all this time that I'd just been a little crazy, but that it would pass soon. When I forsook all, he freaked out and tried to stop me from witnessing. Wherever I went, he threatened that if I would not return to him, he would commit suicide. I soon had to leave Berlin. I've prayed for him many, many times, that the Lord would work in his life, so that he could realize that there is a God Who governs all our lives, and accept Jesus as his Savior too.
         The fact that I was not accepted right away, and actually had to fight to join the Family, made me realize what a privilege it is to be part of this chosen Endtime movement. In later years when my friends or relatives accused the Family of having persuaded or even hypnotized me to join, I was able to stand up to them and tell them that the Family didn't even want me, but I knew with all that God had put me through that He had chosen me, and that He was the One Who helped me to join. I knew then that it was the highest calling I could ever have.

Exciting Days in the Family and Meeting My Sweet Husband Philip
         My life in the Family became so exciting, and I experienced more in a few weeks than I had in the last 10 years of my life. The Lord miraculously healed me from all the sickness and weakness that I had! I threw away all my pills and never had to touch them again!
         I went to a Family "Babes Farm" for new members to receive Bible and witnessing training near Dsseldorf, and after reading "The Revolutionary Rules," I forsook the idea of marriage and having children (in my heart), and thought that I would live like a nun for the rest of my life. Little did I know, ha! I was happy anyway.
         Then I met Philip for the first time. He was my teacher at the Babes Farm. I fell in love with him, and even thought that I had met him before. I remembered a dream that I had while I was with the young doctor, where the doctor's face vanished and out of nowhere another face came up, beautiful, smiling at me, and I was so sure that it was Philip! I knew if it was God's will, He would have to work things out. Soon, Philip revealed to me that he was in love with me too! We soon got betrothed.
         My life has been exciting, with many changes, and the Lord has blessed us with nine beautiful and healthy children who love the Lord and are missionaries themselves. Also, it's exciting to know the Lord has used us to win many souls and help change many lives, thanks to Dad and the Family!

The Wonderful Life He's Given Me!
         Last year, after 17 years of being away from Germany, we visited my relatives with our two youngest children. It was so sad to see how my brothers and sisters have declined spiritually, and how divided they have become, bickering, backbiting, and hurting each other, living in pain, and such an unpeaceful atmosphere. They have all the material things that they need, but not the happiness I have. My mother and eldest brother (once a Family member himself) received us with open arms of love and help to support us.
         My family could see that, in spite of all the negative things that they had heard and maybe even believed about the Family, we have a love and peace that none of them had. Our hearts went out to them. They all came and poured out their hearts to us, sought our counsel, and asked for prayer. They all were amazed at how well-behaved, loving, and caring our kids were. They could not deny that our training and life was special.
         It just made me so thankful for all I've received in the Family, and that the Lord drew me out of the mire, and set my feet upon the Rock, Christ Jesus! Praise the Lord! I love you!
         Love, Faith
         P.S. I was so excited to discover that my "Life after Death" testimony came out on the "You Can Be Healed" tape. Thank You Jesus!

***

"The Lord Is Re-creating Me!"
         Dear Faith has been battling with breast cancer for the past three years, while continuing to serve the Lord on the difficult mission field of Southeast Asia, God bless her! The cancer is now very advanced, and Faith is not expected to live much longer. In the following letter, she shares some beautiful lessons about what really matters in life.

June 9, 1996
         Dearest Mama Maria and Peter,
         I love you! I pray for your health, strength, and continued anointing for the massive job the Lord has entrusted you with. The Lord has used you to bring Heaven so much closer to us, dear Mama. Your humility gives me the faith to share some of the lessons that the Lord has taught me, in hopes that they can be a blessing to others. So much is happening in my life, and slowly but surely, the Lord is re-creating me.
         In the past, I was quite negative and critical of others -- very opinionated, Lord help me. I lacked the faith, trust, and peace that the Lord has for us. I got offended very often, holding grudges and bitterness in my heart, thinking that nobody loved me. The verse "Great peace have they which love Thy law and nothing shall offend them" (Psalm119:165) just about summed up the problem for me, because I could not find that peace.
         I had a habit of thanking God only for the seemingly "good" things that were happening in my life. I grumbled and complained when things didn't go the way I thought they should. I had a hard time believing Romans 8:28, that "all things work together for good to them that love God," not realizing that grumbling is the exact opposite of thanksgiving, trust, and loving acceptance of His plan. I always thought my murmurs were legitimate. I never thought I grumbled against God, just against my brothers and sisters. Lord help me -- it was awful.
         Now, since the Lord has allowed me to come down with cancer, I understand that the Lord is in control. He does all things well. He allows accidents, sickness, or other sufferings to happen to us because He wants us to draw closer to Him, just because He loves us.
         When big things happened in my life, like accidents or sickness, I did understand and accept them as from the Lord. They stopped me in my tracks and gave me a great fear of the Lord, and helped me to draw close to Him again. But I couldn't see the Lord in minor things, like Him giving us rain instead of sunshine on our excursion day; or when I was so convinced I was right about something that was not considered by others. I would get pushy, overbearing, and distrusting. It made me so dissatisfied.
         Now, I realize much more how important it is to praise the Lord for everything -- good and bad, for the small trials and the major ones. Often things only look bad to us, but in reality the most difficult experiences are the ones which strengthen us the most, and help us to grow the most. It reminds me of the quote from Dad which says, "God gets His greatest victories out of seeming defeats, and He often brings them down the neglected path of praise." And there's the verse, "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby" (Hebrews 12:11).
         I understood, too, that my complaints, murmuring, and unyieldedness against God in the little things kept me from entering into the perfect plan the Lord had for my life. At the root of it was unbelief, and a lack of faith and trust in God and others around me. I am learning now and striving to accept every little thing that happens, with joy and thanksgiving.
         Also, in the past I thought I had discernment, because I could so clearly see the "bad" in people. It was really nothing but a critical spirit. I realized that often the people I had the most difficulties with were those who reminded me of something that I didn't like about myself; unlike you, Mama, who always taught us that love covers a multitude of sins. You look with eyes of love, and I admire that in you and I have wanted to be able to do the same. It is so much more rewarding.
         It hurts me still to realize the hurt I have caused others. I know the Lord has forgiven me, and it amazes me how merciful He has been with me. Lord help me to be merciful with others.
         Many times I battled low self-esteem, not liking myself, which was a sin. It made me look at myself instead of at Jesus, and be overly concerned about myself. In order to like and accept other people, I had to learn to relax about myself and accept the way the Lord created me, with the talents He gave me, and not compare myself with others unfavorably or with a complaint in my heart, thinking that others were given more talents than I. In doing that, I separated myself from God's Love, not He from me. I built walls around me, wondering why I often felt left out or alone.
         I know now that God has given us our talents according to our needs, to some less and to some more, and if used humbly and with thankfulness, He trusts and uses us more. I realize now the greatest talent we could ever receive is the gift of being a happy and humble servant. All that really matters in life is the love we have for God, His Son Jesus, and others. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul and mind; and thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark 12:30-31). It sounds so easy and right, but it took me a lifetime to truly grasp. I'm still learning that one.
         I believe the Lord sees the value of our life here on Earth through our faithfulness in little things: a smile, a word of comfort or encouragement, a small sacrifice, putting others first, or anything we can do to serve others and help them make it. That's what counts, not so much our big accomplishments or the titles we have here. As Dad taught us, "Without love, it's nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 says it so well: "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as a sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing." And Psalm 84:10: "I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than to dwell in the tents of wickedness."
         I just read Mark 10:44-45 with my kids. It says, "And whosoever of you will be greatest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be ministered to, but to minister." I was reminded of all the "little people" in the Family, and it made me thankful for our loved ones in the Home: those who faithfully and cheerfully work on cleaning the house, cooking the meals, teaching the children, serving others, and the ones who faithfully share God's Love with the world. They will be the greatest over There.
         I think a few of our adults, including myself, who stepped aside in order to make room for our young people to take on more responsibility perhaps had some battles learning to be little people in order to give the younger ones a chance to be on the front lines. It has been humbling, but very good for me to get my priorities straight again.
         The other day our Home had an appreciation night, where the teamwork highlighted all the good character traits they saw in all of us. It was so encouraging and it helped me to look at everyone in a much brighter light. I think that is the way the Lord looks at us too. It helps us to love each other more, and have more understanding to realize that we're all here for the right reason, and that we all love Jesus and want to do our best for Him.
         It was so touching, too, to see how for years some of our teens have so faithfully done the minor tasks of working in the Home. They were tested with the little things, and they've done so well. The Lord is preparing them with this humility training so that they can learn to take on bigger jobs in the future. Compared to some other teens who have had glorious ministries of acting, singing, dancing, or video ministries, which are also important, some teens might feel inferior if they aren't doing the same. But then it came to mind that in some cases it turned out to be a handicap for certain individuals to have glorious ministries. Those who have glorious ministries often have greater battles, mainly fighting against getting proud and lifted up, trying to stay humble and give God all the glory.
         Looking at my life, I feel the story of the little woman who longed to carry someone else's cross is appropriate. She finally came to realize that she was not able to carry anyone's cross but her own, which was tailored just for her.
         I am learning to never despair about all my mistakes and shortcomings. Sometimes I felt little hope that I would ever change. Your Letters, Mama, have given me hope and faith, and helped me to see that we are all here to learn, to experiment, to make mistakes in order to keep us humble, and to give God the glory. We need to forgive ourselves and others for their mistakes, not hold grudges, and be grateful for the things that help us grow.
         My affliction has done wonders for our marriage. Philip and I always loved each other, and agreed on the most important issues like loving the Lord and His Word, raising our kids in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and following and respecting Dad, Mama and Peter. But sometimes we made our lives unnecessarily difficult by getting irritated at each others' idiosyncrasies, wanting to change this and that in each other, being familiar, not accepting each other the way the Lord did.
         Mama, you have pointed out in so many Letters how much the Lord loves us just the way we are. He is not nagging and irritated by our personalities, but rather patient, loving, and caring. It showed me how much I have been a nag all these years, with very little results. Now we are learning the importance of not taking each other so seriously any more, but to have some humor, to enjoy each other more, to laugh at ourselves. Even when I am a bit tense sometimes, or feel hurt or misunderstood, and then overreact, God bless Philip, he takes it with a smile and soon I realize how ridiculous I am, and start laughing too. It has solved the flare-ups we had at times about little things which don't necessarily matter. We have much more fear of the Lord now and realize each day could be our last one with each other, and we don't want the memory of our last words to be unloving and sharp.
         I haven't by any means learned all these lessons completely. On the contrary, the realizations are just dawning on me. I am still a mess, heavily dependent on God's mercy and grace, like the verse says, "For I know that in me, (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing" (Romans 7:18).
         I love you!
         Love, Faith

         P.S. Everybody in my Home makes it so easy for me to be good. I feel so privileged, loved, and well cared-for. I thank my shepherds, especially Ruth (of Isaac) who faithfully teaches my youngest children. She and my mate, Philip, have helped me over many emotional trials concerning them, always being so patient and loving. She is such a blessing, and I know she loves my kids and helps them over their trials too. And Thai Maria is just like a daughter to me, always caring and making sure I have the foods I like. So sweet! God bless them!

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My Special Cross
         I complained as I told myself,
         "This cross is too heavy to wear."
         And I wondered discontentedly
         Why God gave it to me to bear.
         And I looked with envy at others
         Whose crosses seemed lighter than mine,
         And wished that I could change my cross
         For one of a lighter design.

And then, in a dream, I beheld the cross
         I impulsively wanted to wear.
         It was fashioned of pearls and diamonds
         And gems that were precious and rare.
         And when I hung it around my neck
         The weight of the jewels and the gold
         Was much too heavy and cumbersome
         For my small, slender neck to hold.

         So I tossed it aside and before my eyes
         Was a cross of rose-red flowers.
         And I said with delight as I put it on,
         "This cross I can wear for hours!"
         For it was so dainty and fragile,
         So lovely and light and thin,
         But I had forgotten about the thorns
         That started to pierce my skin.

         And then in my dream I saw my cross,
         Rugged and old and plain.
         That clumsy old cross I had looked upon
         With discontented disdain.
         And at last I knew that God had made
         This "special cross" for me.
         For God in His great wisdom knew
         What I before could not see:

         That often the loveliest crosses
         Are the heaviest crosses to bear.
         For only God is wise enough
         To choose the cross we can wear.
         So never complain about your cross,
         For your cross has been blest.
         God made it just for you to wear
         And remember, God knows best!

         -- Good Thots 2, page 1658, #506.

=============================================

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A Bus Missed, but a Soul Saved!
From Beth (17), USA
         One day Chris and I went to a mall dressed as clowns to do some witnessing. We had a real long day and afterwards went to get a bus home. A friendly Latin American man was also waiting for the bus, and we struck up a conversation with him. He turned out to be a real jewel, just waiting to be found.
         Shortly after meeting him, we found that we had missed the last bus that could take us to the subway, so we, along with this man, decided to walk to the subway which was about five miles away. This turned out to be the Lord's setup to give us precious time to talk, as this man poured out his heart.
         After arriving at the station we found out that we would need to wait another hour (it had already been about two hours since we had started to head for home), so we went to a nearby store to get a snack. The shop owner donated the snack, saying, "Here! Take it all for free!" Our new friend was so impressed -- he couldn't believe what had just happened.
         As we continued to wait together, he kept talking more and more about how he wanted the same peace that he could see that we had. He said, "All my life I've lived for money and wondered what I could get out of life. I thought everyone lived like me. After meeting and talking with you two, my life is never going to be the same! I'm never going to think the way I used to, and I'll never forget all you have shared with me about the real values in life."
         He then began to tell us something that had been on his heart for so long and he had never told anyone, not even his wife. He just recently had wanted to find another job that made more money, and so he got a job in an illegal company that does scams and cons to make millions of dollars. He said he had made a lot of money, but the condemnation on his heart was so much to bear that after two weeks he quit and went back to his old job. He shared how he hasn't been able to get over the condemnation he feels for having been in that line of work. We explained to him how he can find forgiveness and a new start with Jesus, sharing with him the Bible's promise that "there is now no condemnation in Jesus Christ!" We invited him to pray with us to receive Jesus in his life, so he could be freed from that feeling of condemnation and learn to live in a new way.
         He thought about it for a moment and then said, "Please pray with me." We prayed with him and right away he said he felt so much peace the moment he prayed and accepted Jesus.

****

Not Just Any Car
From Aaron, Elizabeth and Josh, Nigeria
         We were in Abuja, this country's capital, to renew our children's passports at the embassy -- Elizabeth and I (Aaron) and our three boys, Jason (5), Elia (3), and Joshua (1-1/2). Having no transport but wanting to get back home, we hitched a ride to our city, which is four hours away. A car took us a little past a small city called Keffi, about one hour outside the capital, and dropped us off in the middle of the jungle, at about 5:30 in the evening.
         It was starting to get dark and Jason said, "Papa, we better pray!"
         So we prayed, "Jesus, please send someone to pick us up and take us all the way home."
         Then Jason prayed, "And Jesus, also please bring a Mercedes." He remembered he liked the comfortable ride, as he had been in one before. Ha! Two minutes later a green Mercedes pulled up and took us all home!

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It Pays to Give to God!
From Josh, Hope Fighter, and Trusty, USA
         A provisioning contact had been postponing making his decision to tithe for over a year, due to having his money tied up in his business. When he finally ended up sick with no products, no capital, and very discouraged, he went ahead by faith and wrote out a check. Within ten minutes he started seeing results, as the Lord began to fulfill His promises to repay him for his investment! By the end of the day he had been promised $90,000 in funds. He had new openings in Mexico and Canada, including an $80,000-a-year contact, and he could barely express how grateful he was for how we had taught him to tithe!

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After Giving, His Customers Never Ran Out!
From Jimmy, Steven and Joy, Thailand
         On a road trip we stopped at a restaurant to request that they donate a meal for our team of two adults, two teens and three older children. We had stopped there a couple of months earlier to see the former owner who was a friend of ours. However, the restaurant had since changed hands, and although the new management had given us a meal, we hadn't met the owner then.
         We were able to meet the new owner this time and he related the following to us: When we had come two months earlier to request the donation of a meal, he had given the okay to his workers. At that time, he had opened the restaurant just a week earlier and had paid out a lot of money, hired all his necessary staff, etc., but since opening he had had no customers at all. He said that we had come in and asked for a free meal, and that right after we left, the whole restaurant had filled up and had been filled to overflowing with customers ever since!
         "Anytime you need to come and eat here, the doors will be wide open!" he said. Thank You, Jesus! It was just like the story of Elijah and the widow of Zarephath! (See 1Kings 17:8-15.)

****

A Promise Fulfilled!
From Steven, Susanna, Martin and Hope, Pakistan
         We were outside an office building ready to jump in a taxi, when Jonathan bumped into a good friend who was visiting from another city. Jonathan had no idea that this man was even in town or that he had an office in this part of the city. On top of that, Jonathan had been trying almost daily for three weeks to contact this man with no success. What a miracle!
         He said, "Come with me," and he walked quickly up several flights of stairs, with us tagging behind, trying to keep up. He showed us into his office and proceeded to tell us an inspiring story. He was so thankful that he had met us, as he had made a commitment to God that he would help us with a donation and he had not been faithful in following that commitment through. He had been having troubles with his company since that time, and he knew it was a direct result of him not following through with his promise to God to help the Family. He said he had Jonathan's name flashing through his mind constantly and he knew it was God speaking to him about the unfulfilled promise! He praised God right there in front of us, saying he knew that meeting with Jonathan was an answer to prayer.
         After confessing all this he gave us a cash donation of $500. We all praised God together as we shared that the rest of our Home was having a day dedicated solely to praying for our friends and our needs and we shared how meeting him was a direct answer to our prayers, too! You can imagine the response of the brethren when we got home!

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Deaf Catacombers a Terrific Witness!
From Happy, Charity and Daniel, India
         (In India, the Family has a wonderful ministry to the deaf, and there is a group of sold-out deaf part-time members called "catacombers." Unable to live with us full-time because of their special circumstances, they are disciples in heart and spirit, who are an unstoppable witness, as you'll see by the testimony below! God bless them!)
         Some of our deaf catacombers were chosen to represent India at the Asian Games of the Deaf taking place in Malaysia! One of them, Philip, was able to turn the whole situation into a great witness. Some of the members of the Indian team did not have passports, so Philip suggested that they all pray for them to come through. There were only three Family members (catacombers) on the team, and everyone else knew that they were Christians. Some scoffed and laughed, but others participated in this prayer. In two days six people got their passports but there were 11 still to go.
         Philip said, "Let's pray again!" -- So they did, and in two days they got three more passports! This kept happening until three days before they were ready to go, the final ones received their passports.
         At this time, the organizers came to Philip and said that the government had not cleared the funds and that everyone would have to pay their own way. This time everybody came to Philip and asked if all 45 of them could get together and pray. Nothing happened for the next couple of days, but Philip kept praying with everybody, morning, afternoon and evening. Seven hours before the flight was to leave (which was taking place on a government holiday), it looked like a lost cause.
         Philip said "Let's pray again!" God bless him! Within the next half an hour word came that everything was paid for! -- And they were to be at the airport in three and a half hours! What a miracle! The entire Indian contingent, including their managers, got saved, and it was a wonderful, wonderful witness. Praise the Lord!

****

A Japanese "Butterfly"
-- And the Many Souls Won Through His Parting!
From Jonathan, Osaka, Japan

         Recently I led a 17-year-old boy named Ryunosuke to Jesus. His salvation triggered a chain of events which led to the Lord's Love touching the hearts of his immediate family and relatives in a very special way, reaching hundreds of others besides.
         For three years I have been teaching English at a small local language institute once a week. Besides providing a visa for me and my family and being a source of helpful income, the teaching job has been a wonderful way to witness, as I usually teach one-on-one lessons.
         Over the years, I'd say that 50% of my students have gotten saved, besides three secretaries and another foreign teacher there. One secretary, who has since transferred, got saved during a very trying time in her life while she was going through a divorce. She got turned on to Jesus and changed dramatically. -- She was "converted"! She loves the Lord a lot and now attends an informal American church near where she lives. (She lives too far away to see me here, but we do communicate by mail, and I send her the Word and encouragement that way.)
         I like teens a lot, so when Ryunosuke first began studying with me, I immediately took a liking to him and we hit it off. He came to my classroom looking quite different than typical 17-year-old Japanese boys, who are often shy and withdrawn. He was tall, very handsome, with "chapatsu" hair (dyed orange/brown, which is a big fad amongst the young here), intelligent, charming -- a fine-looking teenager.
         I befriended him and our classes were fun. As with all my new students, I told him right away that I'm a missionary with "The Family." I explained what I do, how I work with teens and showed him some photos of the Kobe earthquake relief work, institution visitation and "consider the poor" work I've been involved in.
         A few weeks ago we got to discuss Christianity, as he asked me some questions about God. I poured out my heart to him and showed him some simple verses from the Bible which I always bring to the classroom with me. He got wonderfully saved there in the classroom. He was so happy. After praying with me he told me, "From now on, I'm going to be a real Christian."
         In the following week's class I read the poster "What Everybody Needs Is Love" with Ryunosuke, which he liked very much. I also gave him a copy of it, along with "In Search of Truth." The next week we read the True Komic "The Rock in the Road." He was coming along great in his new-found faith.
         I felt a real brotherhood with him, just as if he was one of God's own, which he was. I had hopes that some day he might even serve the Lord with us. Little did I know then that he would indeed serve Jesus, but in a much greater way than I had ever imagined.
         The following week he didn't come to class due to a cold. The week after that he again didn't come. When I asked the secretary why, I was shocked to hear that he was in the hospital! I got his home phone number from the secretary and talked to his mother. She was quite concerned about him, and I offered to visit him in the hospital, as I was concerned too.
         She explained that only immediate relatives could visit, so I wished him and her the best and told her I'd send him a card. I sent the card by express mail along with a Daily Food class on healing. The evening of the day she received the card, his mother called me and thanked me for the card, saying that she had shown it to him. She asked me to pray for him as he was in serious condition with pneumonia.
         Right away I got my wife Rejoice and our children together and prayed earnestly for him. Later the teens in the Home also prayed together with me for him. I had peace in my heart and full faith that the Lord would take care of him, and I didn't give it any further thought as I went to bed.
         Well, the Lord answered our prayers, but not the way we expected. The next morning his mother called me at seven in the morning and sobbed as she told me that Ryunosuke had gone to Heaven. I was thunderstruck. I didn't know what to say to her, because although she had asked for prayer the previous evening, she hadn't said anything about him being on the point of death. It had never entered my mind that he might die. But obviously the Lord had a marvelous plan which was to unfold during the next week.
         I usually only teach on Wednesdays, but that day (Friday) I went to work in order to fill in for another teacher who was absent. I had a very comforting experience, which had I not gone that day I would not have had in time to share with Ryunosuke's family during the funeral services which were to be held the following Sunday and Monday.
         During a one-hour break that day, I started to think about Ryunosuke and I felt very sad that I wouldn't see him again. I really liked him a lot and I missed him. But right then out of the blue I heard his voice speak to me: "Don't worry, teacher! I'm happy in Heaven!" I felt his presence there in the room and knew that he had come just to comfort me. I felt happy and victorious from that point on.
         Japanese people usually have two funeral services for their departed relatives. This family chose to have Christian services at a local church. Ryunosuke had told me that his parents were once nominal Christians but they didn't attend church. Later I found out that one grandmother and one aunt are Jehovah's Witnesses. Another aunt who was very sweet is a born-again Christian who lives in New York and came for the funeral.
         Amazingly, the pastor turned out to be a member of the Mennonite Brethren who spoke fluent English and is a Bible-believing, salvation-by-grace preacher, which is rare in Japan. He was a precious and on-fire man whose services were Spirit-filled. He gave loving and Scripture-filled sermons on eternal life and how Ryunosuke is now in Heaven with Jesus. He sang songs like "Many Things about Tomorrow," etc. I'd never seen anything like this in Japan before!
         My wife Rejoice had gotten the wonderful inspiration to make a card for Ryunosuke's family with a beautiful color drawing of a butterfly leaving its cocoon behind as it flies heavenward. On the inside flap she wrote out the words to Jerry's touching "Golden Butterfly" song which she also made a copy of the recording of for them. I also gave them a photocopy of the Treasures section "Death or Graduation." To my amazement, the very first paragraph talks about the same butterfly illustration.
         About four hundred people came to the first service. Only two hundred could be seated in the small, informal church, and the rest stood at the rear or outside. I, along with my two kids Michelle and Christian, got there a little late as we had been given the wrong address and so had to stand at the rear.
         Halfway through the service, Ryunosuke's father got up and walked through the crowd to the back, behind us and out of sight. Then I suddenly felt a hand clasp my arm from behind and I knew it was him. We had never met, but he had guessed it was me, too. He took my hand in both of his and thanked me very deeply for coming. I hardly knew what to say to him for the full minute or two that he held my arm, but we looked each other right in the eyes and a lot of love flowed between us. I'm crying as I write this, because it was a very touching time.
         After the first service, his parents invited us to stay on for a dinner at the church which was provided for the immediate relatives. Everyone was broken up by the experience and a lot of tears flowed. Ryunosuke's mum got the card and tape from her husband and sat down next to me. She looked at it and read all the words to "Butterfly" aloud. As they both speak English quite well, they understood it easily. She was tearful as she read it and was very comforted by it.
         I told them how I had taught Ryunosuke about Jesus and that I was sure he was safe in Heaven with Him. I also told them how I had heard Ryunosuke's comforting voice in the classroom. At that point his mum broke down in sobs again. Not tears of despair, but of relief and comfort.
         This couple are successful, wealthy, fine people, and their world had suddenly been shattered by the very unexpected death of their oldest son, who up to this point had been completely healthy. But it was beautiful to see how the Lord in His Love reached down into their hearts to comfort them and bring them from their understandable shock and grief to find peace and happiness in Him.
         They were surprised when I told them that I would come again for the second service the next day. They knew that we had come a long way for the funeral, as we live on the opposite end of the city of Osaka. It touched their hearts that we would stay with them through the entire two days of long, arduous, and complicated funeral and cremation ceremonies they have here.
         Ryunosuke's father asked me if I could say a few words in his memory "for the only thirty or forty people we are expecting at the second service, being a Monday." That night we stayed at a nearby Family Home where sweet Claire helped me prepare my speech in proper Japanese. I was the only one to speak at this service besides the pastor and Ryunosuke's father.
         Three hundred people showed up for this service. The pastor introduced me as "the teacher who loved Ryunosuke very much and who told him about Jesus." I spoke straight from my heart to everyone, addressing Ryunosuke's parents directly and even Ryunosuke himself. Many were in tears as I told them that he is now safe and happy in Heaven with Jesus.
         By the time we left for the crematorium, Rejoice and our three little ones had come up to join us by train. We were unaware at the time that there would be any more procedures after the second service and had planned to go to a nearby park with our children. But the family invited us to stay with them and they took us right into their family circle to go to the crematorium twice. They also asked us to have lunch and dinner with them.
         Our children Michelle and Christian had gotten rather tired, having to be perfectly still through the services and all. But after praying about it together with them, God bless them, they were more than willing to forsake their time at the park with us and to stick it out with this needy family. (We did make up for it by having an outing later in the week, though.) Thank the Lord for that, as they were wonderfully empowered by the Lord to be a precious encouragement to the family.
         At the crematorium, Ryunosuke's mum began to sob as they went through the traditional ceremony of using a long pair of chopsticks to pick up his remaining bones and place them in an ornate ceramic jar which is taken home as a memorial. Right away Michelle went up to her, put her arms around her and started comforting her. They embraced for a few minutes as Ryunosuke's mum wept. After this, we all went back to the church to rest and fellowship until dinner time. This was where more salvations came.
         First I got a chance to talk to Shinnosuke, who is Ryunosuke's fourteen-year-old younger brother and now the only child. Until this point I had hardly talked to him, as he was so shocked that he was really withdrawn. Earlier, Christian had given Shinnosuke his pocket-size picture Bible as he seemed to be interested in it. Sweet Christian said that he could keep it.
         As he sat on a sofa trying to read it, I sat down next to him. I picked up a little English/Japanese Gideon's New Testament off the church's bookshelf and I showed him a few verses and he got saved! He really brightened up.

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Golden Butterfly
Lyrics by Jerry Paladino
         Once the night looked kindly,
         Once the sun did shine
         On you, my gentle treasure, that once on Earth were mine.
         Once you smiled to see me, and once I held you near;
         But now my eyes are misty--
         My treasure's far from here.

Chorus 1
         But I'm happy because you're happy,
         Because you're in Heaven, safe at last.
         Trials are past, pain is over,
         That cocoon's no more your home,
         For you, our precious Butterfly, have flown!

         Thank God the race is over,
         Thank God the fight is done!
         Together with our Savior we fought the war and won!
         With victory now behind us, I long to soon abide
         In Heaven where you're waiting,
         Over on the other side!
         (He's happy Here--
         Much stronger now--
         And learning things so quickly!
         He's so alive! He's still your son!
         We'll keep him `til you come!)

         Once I held my treasure--
         Now you're stored away;
         Once I dreamed of Heaven:
         It's real to me today!
         And though I deeply miss you,
         How faint my grief shall seem
         When I come to join you
         Beyond the rainbow's gleam.

Chorus 2:
         Yes, I'm happy because you're happy,
         Because you're in Heaven, safe at last.
         Peace and joy, love and laughter
         Al abound in that new Home
         Where you, our precious Butterfly, have flown!
==================================================================

         Then I talked with Shinnosuke's grandfather, who had heard the whole conversation with Shinnosuke and who had been sitting there clutching a framed picture of Ryunosuke. He told me that he was a Buddhist, but that the death of his grandson (whom he loved dearly) had moved him greatly and that now he believed in Christ!
         It is a rare thing for a older Japanese person to openly confess this. I believed that he was saved just by his confession to me. But I did want to make it "official" for him and to show him some salvation verses, etc. But just then someone came and told me that I had to move our van in the parking lot. So reluctantly I went out to the parking lot, hoping and praying that during this interruption he wouldn't get into a conversation with someone else.
         To backtrack a bit here, when Shinnosuke got saved, I went out to a back room of the church where the Japanese pastor and his American assistant pastor were sitting and fellowshipping. I told them that Shinnosuke had gotten saved and I asked them if he could keep the Gideon's Bible. They were pleasantly surprised to hear of his salvation and said that of course he could have the Bible.
         The Japanese pastor must have caught the vision, because when I got back into the church three minutes after I left Ryunosuke's grandfather, the Japanese pastor was sitting in the main room with an open Bible on his lap, reaching forward, clasping Ryunosuke's grandfather's hand and witnessing salvation to him and two others! He was so sweet and anointed as he told them how I had led Ryunosuke to Jesus and now he is in Heaven and that they too could have eternal life. He sang them a couple of hymns a cappella and quoted them verses about salvation by grace and eternal life.
         As he poured out to them, a hush fell in the room. The other conversations that were going on faded out, and one by one the relatives all pulled up their chairs and started listening in. About seven or eight were not yet saved, including Ryunosuke's parents. He ended up leading them all in prayer to Jesus. Several of them were in tears as they all said a heartfelt "Amen" at the end. It was a beautiful and glorious outpouring of His Spirit.
         The Lord used the pastor mightily, who poured out his heart in Japanese much more fluently than I could have. I would have not had the faith to address them all like that, and had planned to get around to them individually, but probably would not have had the time or opportunity. But it was his church and he went for it -- with beautiful results!
         Last of all, we went to a very traditional top class Japanese restaurant for a final dinner. The food was all manner of things that by Biblical standards we consider unclean. Over ten courses! But we ate that which was set before us, giving thanks, as we fellowshipped with everyone. The kids spent most of their time with the parents and grandfather just being their usual happy selves.
         This last dinner turned out to be a very happy occasion. Everyone was at peace and it seemed that there were no more tears left to cry. All the pain had been washed away by the Lord's wonderful Love. Praise His name! It was a beautiful ending to what seemed like a tragedy at first.
         But that was not all. The next Wednesday at work I was able to share the story with several of the folks at the school and all were very touched by it, including the secretary, who wept as I told her how I had led Ryunosuke to Jesus and that I was sure he was safe and happy in Heaven. I showed her some verses and she also received Jesus.
         bout a week after the funeral, I called Ryunosuke's parents just to say hi and to see how they were. They seemed to be doing fine. I talked to them both and they were happy to hear from me. Interestingly, they both said the same things to me. One was that they were both very happy to have met us and that they have been talking about us a lot. Also, that they have been listening to the "Butterfly" song every day and that it has been a big encouragement to them. They even sent the words of the song to a friend of theirs in the US to have it translated properly into Japanese. They also sent us a gift box of food and a card of thanks and appreciation. So sweet!
         Dad said somewhere that it's tough going for missionaries in Japan, but that whatever little harvest we do get here will be very precious to the Lord. I'm so thankful that I was able to be a part of this particular harvest of needy souls.
         Before and since these events, I've been listening a lot to the song "The Famine" from the "Plugged In" tape. It makes me cry every time I hear it. It talks about a famine for love and hope in a dark country, and it's certainly true of this country. If they could only find Jesus, then He would kiss away all their pain and sorrows. Lord, please help us to reach them.
Much love,
Jonathan and Rejoice


Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family