FLIRTY FISHING
The Inside Story
The Night that Changed My Life!
By Juan Amado
(c) March 1995, The Family, Zurich, Switzerland (FFT 01) DFO
My name is Juan Amado, Spanish for "John Beloved." My nickname is Chepe, which is what I was called most of my life. Im 54 years old and was born in Colombia, the seventh of 16 children (9 girls and 7 boys). My parents were lower-middle class, with a very strong Catholic background.
Ever since I was young I can remember my parents wanting at least one of their 16 children to either be a priest or to take part in some form of service to God. It seems that I was the chosen one, because at the age of 17, my parents sent me to study at a Jesuit seminary.
Life in a Jesuit seminary
Our seminary differed from some other Catholic seminaries where those enrolled are there for the sole purpose of becoming priests and eventually bishops, etc. The Jesuits are very strong on lay education, and this seminary provided a high level of education for a wide range of professions, such as university professorship, psychology, eco-nomics, etc.
However, life in the seminary was not just studying, but working as well. I, like the other students, was put through many hard tests to see if I really wanted to be a Jesuit priest and had what it takes. Besides our studies, there was lots of manual labor, bathrooms to clean, kitchen work, etc. These tests were to see if we were humble and obedient, and whether we were willing to do things because we loved God. However, I found it hard to understand or believe that these things which we were doing "out of love for God and others" were of any value on earth or in the Hereafter. Because of the lack of emphasis on evangelization, at the time it was hard for me to see how doing menial chores, or other mundane acts for the glory of God, would help lead souls to Christ.
The seminary I studied at was well funded, and luxurious compared to how most people around us lived. It had recreational areas, a pool, theater, music hall, library, etc. The food was excellent, with regular banquets; the wine and other liquors available were top quality, as were the cigars, pipes and cigarettes. The Jesuits covered most of my expenses, including housing, food, clothing, transportation, studies, etc. I had nice clothes and a car. When traveling I could choose the best airlines, trains, and hotels. But despite these luxuries, I was unhappy. These material things were unable to satisfy my heart. I eventually became bored with the seminary, although I continued to be a good student and behave myself to stay on good terms with my superiors.
Looking for Answers in Theology and Philosophy
My desire was to become a priest and to reach some sort of sainthood. I wanted to keep all the rules, to learn to pray, see visions, and receive revelations from God. I had read about these things in books about saints, but I had never seen or experienced them myself. My hopes were unfulfilled, and it wasnt long before I became unhappy at the seminary.
I was trying to keep the "letter of the law," but after some time studying philosophy and theology, I realized that even my teachers, who had been indoctrinated in these teachings all their lives, hardly believed in them themselves. I was a serious student with a sincere desire to know the truth and be convinced of it, and this led to many lengthy discussions with my teachers. I wanted them to convince me that the doctrines they were teaching were indeed the best, but due to their own lack of conviction they were unable to persuade me of them. I tried talking to different "important" people, thinking that they might help, but none could give me convincing answers to my questions about life.
I used to read a lot on my own. I spent long hours at libraries, constantly looking for books that could teach me how to be fulfilled. I read several books a week, searching for the answers to lifes problems, but none of what I read seemed to hold the key to happiness. Although some books were interesting, and I thought they might have something for me, by the time I finished reading them I realized that I hadnt learned much. I hadnt found the truth.
Through my years of work and study, I started to realize how unfulfilled and empty my life was. I couldnt see Gods answers to prayer, and most important of all, I didnt have the security of knowing that I could be eternally saved by grace. We were taught, as in most religions, that we were saved by our good works.
A related problem was that I had girlfriends, which was of course prohibited, and I would often break the rules by leaving the seminary to visit them. Sex was strictly forbiddena mortal sinbut I couldnt resist the temptation to make love. As a result, I lived in fear, as well as under a terrible clouda burden of condemnation and guilt. I knew I was a "sinner," and every time I "sinned," I would worry that if I died that night, I would go straight to Hell. But despite the guilt, I found it hard to give up my romantic relationships.
The Vatican
As my years at the seminary went by, and my superiors saw that I was a good student, intelligent, trustworthy, and well-behaved (except for my sexual escapades, which were unknown to others), they started giving me more responsibility. I was put in charge of the administration of one of the ranches they had in a little town called La Ceja, Antioquia, in Colombia. I worked there until the age of 21. As a result of my work there, I was later transferred to the post of private secretary to the head, or provincial, of the Jesuits for the region I was in.
By the age of 26, I had become a full-time member of the religious order, known as a temporal coadjutor, or brother. I was not an ordained priest, but nevertheless I enjoyed all the rights and privileges of the other members of the order. At that time the Jesuits needed two secretaries for the head (called the superior general) of the entire Jesuit order, to represent the Spanish language. I happened to be one of the two, chosen from all the Jesuits in Latin America.
I moved to Rome, where I worked in the Jesuit section of the Vatican. My job as the superior generals private secretary was to write letters, read and do rsums of the correspondence that he received, and other such work. I was also his chauffeur, and would accompany him whenever he went anywhere; every now and then we would visit the city, some cardinal, or the pope.
Quickly Disillusioned with the Church
It was an exciting experience, a chance to see new things, to do things that I had never done before. But it wasnt long before I started to have a lot of questions. I saw that life in Rome was just as hypocritical as everywhere else. People were selfish. There was no real love even between co-workers. There was also a lot of competition, both within the Jesuits and between the Jesuits and other Catholic orders, each striving for superiority. The Jesuits are very competitive, and it is generally accepted that they are the most intellectual, the smartest and the richest of all the Catholic orders.
During my four years at the Vatican I traveled quite a bit. I visited all of Western Europe, sometimes on vacation and other times for business purposes. I tried to have fun in my own way, but I wasnt very free because of all the restrictions and rules I had to keep. As a member of the Jesuits, I had taken three vows: the vow of chastity (no sex), the vow of poverty (no personal belongings), and the vow of obedience (explicit obedience to elders). I tried to keep them, but out of frustration I eventually resolved to find ways around some of the rules and my vows. Despite my vows of chastity, I was as human as everyone else, with the same sexual needs, and I felt I was not able to stay celibate my whole life. Rome being such a big city, with enough money and "guts" it was fairly easy to go out with women or frequent brothels without being caught by my fellow workers. And in contrast to my experiences in Colombia, I discovered that other Catholic officials did the same thing, which eased my conscience. It gave me a way to justify my actions, thinking, "Oh well, this seems to be the way to do things, so it must be all right."
During my stay at the Vatican I had the opportunity to meet and have a personal conversation with Pope Paul VI, in a private audience, in December of 1969. I had hoped to find in him some supernatural sign that would show me how to be happy and find God in a new way. When I didnt find it, I became disillusioned. My vows became more and more difficult to keep, not only chastity, but that of explicit obedience as well. I finally came to the conclusion that religion wasnt for me, and decided to have a drastic change in my life, a life that thus far had given me no real satisfaction or happiness. I talked to my superiors and they gave me a document stating that I was free of my vows.
Travel and Money, but No Love
I left Rome and started working and living on my own. I traveled to the U.S. to study. It was illegal for me to work there, being a foreigner, but I got a job anyway to pay for my studies. I worked as a hospital supervisor. It was a night job, and very well paid. During the day I attended Wayne State University in Detroit, where I studied English, philosophy, psychology and sociology. It wasnt difficult, since I had studied these subjects with the Jesuits, but my stay was short-lived. That summer, U.S. immigrations found out that I was working on a student visa, and I was forced to leave the country.
During my time in the U.S., I had saved up a fair bit of money, and with that I traveled to Germany and started studying German. I landed a job in Berlin as a language teacher, where I taught English, Italian and Spanish. It was one of the best language institutes in the city, which meant plenty of clients and good money. Most of the students I taught were important people, businessmen, politicians and artists.
One of my students was a German multi-millionaire businessman, who together with his wife, had investments and businesses in the Spanish Canary Islands. They were childless, and took a liking to me and my style of working. I mentioned to them how I hoped to have a better future, to be more successful and a winner in life, and told them about my past with the Jesuits, etc., which they were quite interested in.
In 1975 they offered me a job in Tenerife, in the Canary Islands, as their right-hand man, private secretary and private tutor. They had various businesses there, and in the past they had been swindled because of their lack of knowledge of the language, so they wanted my help. They offered me a better salary than I was getting, and the idea of moving to the tropical Canaries, a top tourist spot with a much nicer climate than Germany, sounded nice. I would be working less, making more money, enjoying a higher social status and a better life. Being a Latin, I was already getting bored with the German lifestyle, which I found routine, ultra-organized and punctual, so going to Tenerife sounded almost like a vacation. I decided to go.
Success Brings Emptiness
By this time I was 36 years old and had already tried a number of different lifestyles: as a student and administrator in a Jesuit seminary in Colombia, as a religious secretary at the Vatican, a student/teacher in the U.S. and Germany, and now a businessman with good pay, a nice place to live, my own work schedule, girlfriends, etc. I used to use one of my boss expensive cars to travel the Canary Islands, looking for fun and friends. My boss also gave me a fully furnished apartment, so I didnt have to pay any rent. This left me with plenty of money to spend on nothing more than "enjoying life." I had what many people consider the "ultimate dream," but although I had fun, I cant say I was really happy.
After six months in Tenerife, in 1976, I was given my first "real" vacation from my job. I had the money to travel anywhere in the world, but I decided to stay there to rest and reflect a little on my life. The newness and excitement of my new job and location was wearing off and inside I was already starting to feel empty again.
The Encounter that Was to Change My Life
During my vacation I was frequenting the many clubs and hot spots of the Canaries, and by this time I knew them well. But one night something happened that would change my life forever. I was alone and eager to find some girls for company, so I put on my nice clothes, took a lot of money, and headed off to my favorite club on the islandthe Columbus Caf. It was a beautiful and very popular dance club right on the beach where you could hear the waves crash against the wall of the club.
Id been there before, but that night I noticed a "family" or group of about ten friends, young men and women, sitting at a table together. They seemed very happy, and it was obvious they were having a good time. As I watched them, I became interested in the fact that the women at the table werent just selfishly dancing with their own male companions, but would dance with anyone who invited them. I saw men from other tables coming up to their table and inviting them to dance, and was surprised to see them agree, have a dance with them, and then come back to their table.
It was certainly most unusual. I continued watching from my table, wondering whether I, too, would have a chance to dance with one of those pretty girls. One of the unwritten rules of dancing was that you only asked someone to dance if they were off in a corner by themselves, but never if they were accompanied by another man. But after seeing how cheerfully these women accepted other mens invitations to dance, I gathered confidence that it would work for me too.
Despite my pride and the fear of being turned down and left standing there embarrassed with everyone looking at me, I walked over to the table, and approached the girl who had stood out to me the most. She wore a beautiful long white dress and had a radiant smile. Her hair was long and let down in a natural way, and she was just the right height for mebasically, she was my type of girl. I soon learned that her name was Sara.
A Dance with a Very Special Girl
As I approached her she smiled at me beautifully. But before accepting my invitation to dance, she first smiled at someone who seemed to be her dad, who in turn smiled back. I didnt realize that her smile to him was her asking permission to dance with me and his smile back meant it was all right.I found that out later. But in any case, it didnt seem strange that a girl would look to her father to see what he thought before accepting a dance; it seemed like a normal thing to do. At that moment I wouldnt have cared who she askedmy sole preoccupation was that she would agree to dance with me.
As we danced, we started to talk, first in English, then later, when I found that she spoke very good Spanish, in both English and Spanish. We started with the usual questions: "Whats your name?" "What do you do here?" etc. I would have been very happy for the chance to have even just one dance with her, but she ended up dancing quite a few numbers with me. I was delighted.
Right away I could tell that she was different from other women that I knew. She was very intelligent and seemed well-educated, but at the same time she was very sweet and kind and natural. Most of the women Id met at the clubs were there to find a man who would make them happysomeone with lots of money or good looks or good social standing. But it was obvious this girl wasnt interested in any of that. I could feel she was giving love without expecting anything in return.
I was used to moving pretty fast when it came to girls, and didnt spend much time on courtship preliminaries. In a casual love affair or sexual relationship where the partners dont mean much to each other, peoples only motive is selfish lust, with little concern for the other persons feelings. I was no exception to this, but I didnt want to make the wrong move too fast and spoil my chances. Right from the start I felt a strong attraction for Sara, so I decided to go slow and "feel out the terrain."
After telling her briefly about my line of work, she asked me what my goal in life was. A bit surprised, I told her that like everyone else in the world, what I wanted most from life was happiness. She said she felt the same way, and went on to explain that she believed that true happiness came from God. She told me that she believed in love and that happiness came through love, which God gives to man.
Up until this point of my life, my experiences in relationships had left me disillusioned and unhappy. People seemed so hypocritical, myself included. I had been with a lot of girls who were only interested in my money, car and social status, but not my feelings. So many girls were just materialistic and didnt have real love.They could even live with you and have your children without really caring for you.
I told Sara that because of what I had experienced in life, I didnt believe in love. Undaunted, she started to talk to me about Gods love, true unselfish love. I had heard lots of talk about God in church, but never on a dance floor! I had spent years in a seminary where I had given up all other pursuits to try to know and study God, so it was hard for me to understand or accept that someone would be teaching me about God while dancing in a club. Not even when I had read in the Bible about Jesus talking with drunks and harlots, had I heard of such a thing as this. Part of me felt strange talking about God, since normally girls I knew didnt come to clubs to talk about God, and neither did I. But since I liked her so much and didnt want to "lose" her, I accepted what she had to say. I wanted to see how far I could go with her, so at the beginning I acted interested. Little did I know how her words would change my life!
Meeting Father David
After we had danced and talked, I asked her about her "father" and "family." Being a businessman, I thought it would be nice for her to introduce me to him for two reasons: One, so that I could have the opportunity to see Sara again, and the other was so that if it didnt work out with Sara, perhaps I could possibly make some kind of business deal with him. I represented several Colombian factories dealing in precious stones, so I was always looking for new business opportunities and clients.
I went back to their table with Sara, and since some of the other young men and women were dancing there happened to be a free seat. I cant recall whether they invited me to sit down or if I invited myself, but the result was that I sat down and started to talk. I was soon so caught up in talking with everyone there, the older man in particular, that I completely forgot about the drink I had left behind at my table. After a while Sara was asked by someone else to dance, and returned to the dance floor. I was a bit worried at first, but not too much as by this time I was very absorbed in my conversation with those at the table, the "father" of this family and his young wife, who turned out to be David Brandt Berg (then known as "Father David") and Maria.
We talked about a lot of interesting things. They asked me questions about my life, and I tried to be sincere. I didnt tell them everything, however, as I wanted to "check them out" first. I felt drawn to them, as they seemed different from everyone else, and their conversation was so much deeper and more meaningful than the casual chit-chat I had been used to at the clubs. At this point I didnt know what it was they had that was so special, but I did know that I was a desperate man, alone and tired of the emptiness of all the parties and selfish pastimes that my boss and I spent our time with. I just wanted happiness, and happiness was something they seemed to have.
That night, meeting Father David for the first time, I had the feeling that he was something like a prophet or a patriarch, because he seemed to have the same air, the same spirit or way of being that I had read about in the sacred history books. He reminded me of those wise men, good and intelligent, who were very loving, treated everyone very kindly, and who seemed to have an answer for everything. I didnt know who he was or what he did, but I had a definite impression that he was someone very important, and thats why I was very interested in talking to him.
The fact that he seemed to have so many children didnt seem strange to me, coming from a large family myself. It also seemed quite normal that he should have such a young wife (Maria), as in Germany and elsewhere Id met a lot of older men who had divorced and later remarried a younger woman.
Something that I was very impressed with was how sweet, loving and kind David was. For example, while at the club, if a girl sat at his side while Maria was dancing with someone else, he would give her a sweet hug and kiss. Things like this broke the ice and helped me overcome my pride and made me feel comfortable around him. On later occasions I sometimes tried to imitate his good sample, although not with the same spontaneity. His motives in doing things seemed very simple, pure and beautiful.
Father David, who those at the table referred to simply as "Dad," talked a lot about God and His love and care for each of us. It was very simple, but answered some basic questions I had been carrying with me for years. What I most remember from that night are three phrases: "God is love," "We need to share," and "Love never fails." It wasnt long before I started quoting these same phrases wherever I went. Davids main technique was listening and giving simple answers, just like Jesus, and then leaving the decision up to the individual. For example, hed say, "You dont have to believe what Im saying. Take it or leave it!"
Although I had had some difficulty being talked to about God while on the dance floor with Sara, while sitting at a table with a whole group of people who were talking about God, I no longer felt uncomfortable about the fact that we were in a club, not a church. As I mentioned earlier, my initial intentions in approaching Sara and talking with David and Maria and the others was not out of interest in their message, but simply to satisfy my sexual desires for a pretty girl. But as they talked to me that night about the Lord, their words and their example spoke to my heart. What kept me from walking out on the "sermons" was their kindness and consideration, as well as the happiness I could see they had, which I lacked.
I had been looking for a good time with a beautiful woman, and suddenly found myself faced with so much more. As the night went on, I realized that in Sara I might find everything I was looking forthe physical satisfaction for my body, and the spiritual answers for my soul.
I spent the whole evening with David and Maria and his family, talking, dancing, watching, listening. The Columbus Caf closed at midnight, and we moved to another one called Caprichos that was open a couple more hours. As closing time there came, and we all were leaving for our respective homes, David handed me a card with his name and phone number, extending an invitation to stay in contact with them or visit if I wanted to. He didnt seem to be passing out invitations to just anyone, and I felt honored to be invited; it was a sign of trust and acceptance. Where else in the world are peoples doors opened to total strangers, I thought. Delighted, I accepted the invitation. Although I was interested in their whole family and what they had to say, at this point my main concern was to see Sara again and hopefully get to know her better or initiate a physical relationship of some kind, free from all the other contenders at the club.
Hooked!
I went back to my apartment to rest, but I couldnt sleep. All I could think about was seeing Sara and these people again the next day. I called them the following afternoon and they gave me directions on how to get to their house. On the way there I bought some flowers and a bottle of wine. David and Maria werent there, but Sara, along with a young man named Alfred, greeted me and showed me around the house.
Everyone at the home emanated an air of peace, harmony and tenderness. I was taken to see the garden, the pool, the living room, etc. Sara explained that she took care of a little boy and showed me to his room. I later found out he was David and Marias son, Davidito. My attention was drawn to the nice way his room and crib were decorated, and to his good educational toys. Sara explained the importance of taking good care of children in order to avoid accidents of any sort. (During another visit a few days later, Sara explained that Alfred was her husband and that they had a baby girl together, Davida.) After the tour, we sat down with Alfred in the living room to talk a little. Sara brought something to drink and excused herself to check on her baby.
Dinner time was approaching, so they invited me to stay and eat with them and the rest of the folks there, and we enjoyed a very nice meal together. Neither Sara nor any of her friends made any sexual advances (not that I was expecting them to do so), and I was careful to not disclose my feelings for Sara too quickly, so as not to lose a possible conquest. So it was a sweet, simple visit, and non-eventful in that respect.
They told me that I was welcome to come back whenever I wanted, which was just the open door I needed to start visiting them regularly, using the excuse that some of them were just learning Spanish and that perhaps I could help them with some Spanish lessons. From then on I visited them quite frequently, besides meeting them at the club. Since I was on vacation and the Family went to the club every night, I continued meeting with them there nightly, and quickly became part of their inner circle of friends.
At the Clubs with David and Maria
David and Maria were always the first ones to arrive at the club, and with them came whoever was available of the Family members living there. They had friends who would come from other parts of the Island as well. They would move their tables over close to Davids table to form one large tableespecially the friends who already knew Davidso they could talk with him and dance with the women. We all had something to drink (usually some vodka with orange juice), and took turns dancing together as well as with other people at the club. David counted on us not to be selfish and dance with the same girl all evening, but he encouraged us to let our partners dance with others and share their time on the dance floor with others as well.
I only wanted to dance with the Family girls in the beginning, but I was soon taught that it was considerate to dance with other women who were lonely, because it was important to reach out and show others love. I also learned to let the girls I liked dance with other men. This unselfishness took some getting used to and wasnt so easy at first, but I soon began to enjoy it. David also danced, mostly at the beginning of the evening, and then hed stay at his table and coach the girls from there, as well as care for friends who wanted to sit down with him. There were times when I would be alone at the table with David, and I would take advantage of the occasion to ask him personal questions about my life. He always responded with examples from the Bible, and was very reassuring and loving.
The Familys closer friends would always bring their acquaintances to meet "Don David." Seeing how David was interested in every new person that came his way showed me that the Familys love was for everyone, even the lowly waiters.
Its Not All Sex
Up until this time I hadnt had a sexual experience with any of the Family girls, nor had any approached me in this way. Although I was very attracted to Sara, I never did have the pleasure of making love with her. Since I felt at ease with David and could share my heart with him, eventually I communicated my needs and innermost yearnings and feelings towards Sara with him. When he said he could help me find what I was looking for, it gave me peace and reassurance to wait and see what the outcome would be. I believe David could discern the future and see that I would need someone who was not married, who would be able to devote their full time and effort into bringing me closer to the Lord and a life of service for Him.
The days went by and I continued to meet the Family at the club. One night, at the Columbus Caf, I met a new arrival. She had beautiful long blond hair and bright blue eyes, and her name was Beverly. She spent a long time dancing and talking with me. At the end of the evening, when everyone was going home to sleep, some friends of the Family were driving the members home, and I offered to drive Beverly. Since we had had a good time together at the club, I mustered up the courage to invite her to my place.
When we got there, I asked if she wanted to spend the night. She was somewhat reluctant. I told her that I was a gentleman who meant her no harm, and asked her to let me prove it, but she sweetly declined. Perhaps some other time, she suggested. She did, however, agree to have a drink, over which I gave her a brief rundown of what I did for a living, and showed her a pile of emeralds that I had on hand. When I gave her the opportunity to choose whichever one she wanted, she didnt seem very interested. I thought that maybe it was that she didnt know much about precious stones and realize their value, but I later found out that she wasnt after material jewels, but the eternal spiritual ones. After some time talking, I accompanied her to the Family home she was living in, which was only about a block away from my apartment.
Classes with Father David
On the weekends the Familys closest friends, as well as most of the Family members living on the island, would be invited to Davids house for classes. There was a pool and we would swim, eat lunch together, and then all sit around the pool for a class, taught by David. At that time Spain had a military government under General Franco, and there was a law prohibiting any unauthorized meetings. So when wed have these classes or meetings with David, he always made a point not to call them that. Instead he would tell us that we were having a party or family get-together. Plainclothes detectives from the government would sometimes come to the meetings, and they would laugh when David would remind everyone that it wasnt a meeting but a family get-together.After all, there was no law against having a party!
Davids classes were simple. He would encourage us to love God and our neighbor and to tell others about Jesus and His love. His jokes and questions would make everyone laugh. The Family members could understand his classes better than we, the friends, could, and we sometimes couldnt catch what he meant when he got on a deeper topic that was mainly directed at the Family. Sometimes, in the middle of a moving talk, David would burst out in tears and start praying aloud. It was very spiritually profound, and we would all remain silent and respectful, although we didnt understand exactly what it was all about.
At this time I had no idea that the Family was a worldwide groupI thought it was just these folks on the islandso I couldnt grasp how far-reaching what I was seeing and hearing would be. What I did realize, however, was that David was inspired, not monotonous or superficial. And both he and everyone else showed so much love and concern that I tried to never miss a get-together.
Getting to Know the Family Better
During these visits, I began to learn more about the Family. One day I was talking with Alfred in the living room of their home and he was explaining how they had found their house. He told me how they had looked all over the island for a house, but when they really prayed, the Lord by a miracle had led them to this house, which was the ideal one for them.
Little by little I started piecing things together: These people pray, they act like one big family, they talk about God and read the Bible, and they also go to the clubs to dance and talk with people, and are sexually free compared to the religionists Id known. Up until then I hadnt had personal contact with any other Christian groups except the Catholics, so this was something new and interesting. I was impressed by their habit of prayer, and I started to realize that God does answer prayer, something I had lost faith in while at the seminary.
Also when they witnessed to me about things like love, happiness, joy, faith, and prayer, they didnt just preach sermons, but they demonstrated what they were talking about by their example in their interaction with me and each other. When David gave a class, it wasnt some boring or condemning sermon like Id been accustomed to hearing. That kind of preaching had persuaded me that religion prohibited us from being happy and enjoying ourselves. But this was different. David talked about the simple ways we could be happy and help others to have a good life and enjoy themselves. He emphasized that real love for others was manifested by physical acts of kindness, appreciation and love.
After years of condemnation and frustration, it was such a relief to find Christians who werent bound by man-made conventions and mores. Instead they believed that if something is done in real love and concern for the other person and doesnt hurt anyone, its right, even sex.
I also began to realize that there were other Family homes and that they werent just friends, but part of a group. At first, since they also had a lot of friends who were not Family members, it was hard for me to distinguish between who were friends and who were members. After all, none of the Family members were dressed like priests or nuns, as I would have expected them to be. Of course, it was easy to tell that David and Maria were different from everyone else. They were the center of everyone and everything. For example, when David would go from one club to another, the former would empty out, and the latter would fill up. People even waited outside to get a chance to meet him and the Family.
Receiving the Most Wonderful Gift: Jesus!
About two weeks after I first met David and Maria, a party was held at their house, and I was invited along with some other friends of theirs. Since many of the Family members were women (although there were men too), it was really nice to see that as we (the Familys friends, who on this occasion were all men) arrived at Davids home, a Family girl was assigned to sit or walk and talk with each one of us. In other words, we werent left alone to wander around with no one to talk to or be with, but we each had someone talking to us, teaching us, eating together, etc. I remember that in that meeting Beverly was with me all the time, witnessing to me. Some people sang songs for all the guests, and we all had a meal together. The atmosphere at the home was very beautiful and pleasant.
When the party was over, we all went to the club, and since I had a car, I offered to give some people a ride. I ended up going with Beverly, my companion that evening. There were two roads to go to the club, a short route and another longer one, and I took the long road so I would have a chance to talk a little bit more with Beverly alone before going to the club (where I knew I would have to let her dance with the other men as well as myself). When we finally arrived at the club and I opened the door of the car to get out, Beverly asked me to wait. She said that she wanted to pray with me to receive Jesus into my heart. By this time Id received a lot of witness in my various encounters with the Family, so my heart was ready to open up and receive Him. Right then and there in the car I prayed to receive Jesus!
Getting saved is something I remember very clearly, because from that moment on I started a new life. My spiritual eyes were opened and I finally understood why everyone in the Family was so happybecause they had Jesus. I also started to understand the goal that David and Maria had, which was to bring people into the kingdom of God by using this method of personal witnessing at the club. From then on I felt like I belonged with the Family. Up until that time I was just a friend, but after receiving Jesus it was as if I became a member of the Family. I was still working at my job, living at my own apartment, and didnt actually move in with the Family until later, but after that experience I felt I had become a part of them. I knew that I had become one of Gods sons and that I now belonged to His Heavenly kingdom for ever.
My First Night with a Family Girl
That same night, after the club, I again invited Beverly to come home with me, to which she agreed. At my home, we made love for the first time. I had had plenty of sex before, but this was a unique and wonderful experience. I would say that the main difference between making love with Beverly and other girls not in the Family was that she had Jesus and manifested His love. By comparison, it was like night and day. She, as well as other Family girls I met later on, werent after my money or their own selfish satisfaction, and werent at all pushy or demanding. They didnt expect a high price for a moment of pleasurein fact, they didnt ask for anything. The love I received from the Family, ever since first meeting them, was real, unselfish and with no strings attached. This proved to me that it was real love, Gods love.
Learning to Witness at the Clubs
At the clubs we learned to personally witness to others, especially to people who were lonely, like I had been. I had frequented so many clubs, and although they were full of people and pretty girls, I had always been so lonely. But since meeting the Family, the loneliness was gone. I felt Gods love, I had someone to be with, and I was very happy for what the Lord had given mesuch loving friends and a new family.
David always greeted people very lovingly, would smile at them, and was always concerned about everyone. He always had a word of encouragement. He wasnt selfish, and he wanted all of us to be that way too. For example, if there was a man or woman sitting at a table alone and they seemed to need company, David would send a Family member of the opposite sex. He would tell us not to go preach a sermon at them, but just to keep them company, to listen to them and show them we cared about them and that God cared about them. He taught us that when we danced with someone we should just whisper in their ear so nobody else would even know we were witnessing to them, and so they wouldnt feel embarrassed about being talked to about God on the dance floor. This is something that David would do personally, and he taught us to do it too.
I really liked the way David witnessed, it was a very personal method, very much one on one, and very revolutionary as far as I was concerned. Id certainly never heard of anything like that before! But I could see the wonderful results of showing people loving affection and telling them in this way that God loved them. I saw the results not only in my life, but in the lives of other lonely people at these clubs as well. It was beautiful. It changed lives. It inspired people to come to God and even to become missionaries themselves!
Encouraged by the Familys sample, I started witnessing to others about the same things they had told me. I had never done much serious witnessing as a Jesuit, as youre not considered qualified until you complete certain studies in the seminary and receive a title that authorizes you to evangelize. (Thank the Lord, in the Family we dont have to wait years and years before we can witness!) So I did feel a little apprehensive when it came to asking people to pray with me to receive Jesus into their hearts, and at first it was easier to simply talk about God, not about Jesus. To help me overcome this problem, Beverly gave me a class on the Holy Spirit, and I prayed to be filled with the Spirit. From then on, I received the anointing to preach the Gospel in all the world and to every creature!
Davids Counsel about Marriage
While talking with David I realized what a wise man he was. He was able to give me answers that no one else could give me, and in a very simple way, even when talking about personal things like my needs and longings. Looking back on that time now, I can see that had I realized who he was, I would have taken more advantage of my conversations with him.
On one occasion I told David that I wanted to have a wife, but since I like to travel so much my problem was that I didnt want to have any kids because I thought they would get in the way. Now if I would have told that to some of my former acquaintances they would have said, "Youre right, its better that you dont get married, or if you do get married, that you dont have kids." But instead David told me, "Youve got it backwards. I have lots of kids, and they dont get in the way of me traveling. I travel with all my kids and Im very happy with them. Families are beautiful and not a problem." In other words, David told me the exact opposite of what everyone else had told me. It opened my eyes and gave me the faith that I could have kids and still keep traveling. (I now have seven children. Weve traveled together quite a bit and its been lots of fun!)
I wanted to marry and have my own home, and living as husband and wife was just about the only thing that I hadnt yet tried in life. I had already experienced living with girls and having close relationships, but not as a married couple. So in the back of my mind, I had hoped this might be the final thing that would bring me lasting happiness. I told David how I felt about marriage. I explained how I had met different girls whom I liked, but they never felt the same about me as I did about them, or vice-versa, or maybe they were just after my money, etc. David told me that he believed in marriage, but mentioned that one of the problems with acting on impulse and getting legally married too quickly was that if it didnt work out, those two people would have to stay together (unless they went through the long process of divorce) and would probably end up pretty unhappy and bitter at each other. So he believed that it was best to have a "trial marriage" first for a little while, just living together to see if you get along and to see whether God blesses your union.And one of the signs of Gods blessing on your union was if he gave you a child together.
A Revolutionary New Life: Trial Marriage with Beverly
This idea was completely new and revolutionary to me, as I had never read or heard of anything like that before. What struck me the most was that I could see David was very concerned about my need, and wanted to help me as much as possible, so in telling me this he wasnt just giving me theory, but also a practical solution, as he offered me the possibility of having a trial marriage with one of the Family girls. I liked the idea, and thought it would help make me happier.
This was just a few weeks after I had first met them, and only shortly after I had received Jesus and made love with Beverly for the first time, but by then I was quite sold on both Beverly and the Family. I went for a private meeting with David at his home, and since Beverly had agreed to a trial marriage, he gave us some practical tips as well as his approval for our getting together on a "probationary" basis. David said we could either live at my place or in a Family home, and since I was still working at my job, I opted for living at my apartment.
The fact that our marriage was probationary was definitely new and different, but it didnt bother me. I could see that it was just another one of the new things I was experiencing from being with David which made him different from society at large. I took it as his special way of handling his family.
Another comment that David made with regards to marriage, which was totally contrary to what most parents feel when their children marry: "Children arent lost in marriage, but rather gained. Im not losing a daughter, Im gaining a son!" Since he had so many "children," I didnt realize that he had sacrificed so much in giving me one of his "daughters" (Beverly), but when I did find out, it made me respect and love him all the more.
So Beverly came to stay with me at my apartment. I was still working at my job, but wed often go over to the Family home, where she would take care of different things she had to do. In the evenings wed go to the clubs with the rest of the Family. She would read the Word to me, pray with me and help me in every way she could.
God bless dear Beverly. Living with me and spending so much time with me was a sacrifice for her, because it meant being away from David and the rest of the Family much of the time. She was so sweet and loving and easy to be with, and a true sample of faith, love and dedication in giving me what I needed most, both physically, sexually, and spiritually. She wasnt necessarily in love with me or eager to marry me, but went ahead out of lovelove and concern for me, and love for the Lord and David. We didnt stay together for long, just long enough for me to grow a little spiritually and get closer to Jesus and His Word, hooked on Him instead of the girls, people or material things.
Joining the Family!
As the weeks went by, I became more and more disappointed and bored with my job. Seeing the Familys sample and knowing how different I felt when I was with them, I soon began to want to be with them all the time instead of working for my boss or living in the apartment that he had given me. Even though I was living with Beverly and meeting the Family regularly, I felt that it wasnt enough. I began to hate the meaningless life I was living, making money for no reason, having everything but accomplishing nothing.
I talked to David about how I felt and told him that I wanted to move in with the Family and forsake everything to serve Jesus full-time. By this time I was aware that the Family was something bigger than just a group of friends in the Canaries, although I didnt know they were the Children of God or that David was their founder, David Brandt Berg. To me they were the "Family of Love," which is the name they went by at that time. David suggested that I stick with my job for a while longer so that I could continue to witness where I was and continue to grow in the Lord before making the big step of leaving everything behind to live with them.
Soon afterwards my boss, who was worried about my contact with these "strange people" and this "guru," tried to pull me away from the Family. He offered me another job (working for him), which would give me a lot more money and a lot more responsibility, but that would also demand a lot more of my time and a greater commitment to him. I felt it was like the temptation that the Devil gave Jesus, offering Him all the kingdoms of the world if He would just worship him (see Matthew 4).
This is when I decided that I needed to forsake everything, even at the risk of offending my boss, in order to do what I felt was my calling in lifeto serve Jesus in the Family. The Lord had rekindled my lifelong desire to serve and love Him and to do something substantial and worthwhile with my life. I had long wanted to become a missionary to any country on earth, including my own, Colombia, but until meeting the Family I had not found the way to do it. (I had talked to David about these plans, and I remember him telling me one day, "You can be one of my ambassadors to Colombia." At the time I never believed this possible, but Colombia is where I am serving the Lord today!)
When my boss and his wife invited me over to talk about their new job offer, I told them that I wanted to quit my job and become a missionary. At first my boss was quite upset, because he felt he had invested his hopes (and money) in me, and with my resignation he felt that he was losing the investment that I represented to him and, as they had no children, the future that I represented for his company. He saw it as a loss of the potential I had as a successful businessman, but I saw it as a gain for society, as I would be helping others instead of living for myself. Thank the Lord we were able to talk things over, and they finally consented to my resignation. Right then and there I gave him back all that belonged to himthe keys to the apartment, his companys books and financial records, etc., and he paid me everything that he owed me.
I went back to the apartment, packed all I had into my car, and drove to the home! I was a little worried, wondering whether they would accept me or not, or what David would say. But the fact was, I had already made my decision and burned my bridges, and could no longer turn back. I told the Family what I had done and that Beverly and I were moving in with them, and they were really happy, including David. Although his initial counsel to me had been to stay at my job, the circumstances had now changed since I was faced with the decision of either making a greater and more long-term commitment to my job or leaving it altogether, and I just couldnt take that life anymore. He was very understanding and happy for me.
I started living at the home, spending more time in the Word, learning to witness, etc. I went out to the clubs with the Family as before, but I was there to help witness and win souls to the Lord. Sometimes I stayed back from witnessing to take care of the house while others went out. Back at home, I learned how to prepare witnessing materials and mark the salvation verses in the Bibles that we would give away to those we witnessed to. It was an exciting new life. Living in a community with other people was not new to me, having done so for years with the Jesuits, but this was different, with a new purpose and reason for living.
Beverly and I continued to live together for a month or so, but then decided to end our temporary trial marriage rather than get legally married, as that seemed to be the Lords will in our lives. David talked with me about the possibility of Beverly taking care of someone else who really needed help, and by this time I had already come to know the Word enough to where I had a clearer understanding of FFing (flirty fishing) and what it was all about. David sweetly assured me that I would not be forsaken, and I started spending time with another girl, Judy, which made the separation from Beverly much easier. I was happy in the Family, and thankful that the Lord had used Beverlyalong with Sara, the Family members I first met, and David and Maria, of courseto help bring me into a life of service for Him.
In 1977 I moved to Spain, then Central America and later Colombia. There I met my wife, Estrella, who I brought to the Lord and the Family in a similar way to how I was won. We have been serving the Lord together in Latin America ever since, and the Lord has blessed us with seven beautiful children.
A Miracle of Love
In summary, the experience I had in Tenerife was an encounter with God. It was the most beautiful time in my whole life, and Im so thankful for David and Maria and the Family for making it possible. It was very unexpected, completely contrary to all the traditions of religion and society that I had been brought up with, but it set me free and proved to me that real love exists and God exists, and that He is love and He loves me and wants me to love others. When I met the Family I had a need for true love, unselfish love. I had already tasted human love, which was sensual, selfish and very temporary. Until then I hadnt known the kind of love that comes from God: spiritual, long-lasting love, real love.
Im very thankful that the Lord used FFing to bring me to Him, since He knew I wouldnt have responded to any other approach. The "bait," the physical attraction, was the means God used to draw me to Him and His Word and to give me a sample of His love. It also taught me to share His love with others, free from the Devils condemnation that tries to convince people that sex is a sin. To the contrary, I learned that everything created by God is good and for our pleasure, so that we may glorify Him. The only condition is that all things had to be done in love for all concerned. And although the Family has discontinued this particular method of witnessing, the principle in our witness today is still the same: witnessing the Word and showing people the love of Jesus.
I feel that God had prepared me for that first day when I met the Family and started the change that turned my life around. What I had not found in the seminary in Colombia, at the Vatican, or as a businessman with all the money, success, girls and good times, the happiness and the answer in life that I had sought for so many years, was being reserved for that one moment in a club on the Canary Islands. If Sara hadnt danced with me that night and if David hadnt sat me down at his table and talked to me, I dont think Id be serving Jesus today. David had faith in me and he saw that I was sincerely looking for the truth, real love and happiness, and thank the Lord, he showed me the way!
God had mercy on me and answered my unspoken prayers and gave me the desires of my heart. He even answered the prayers of my parents, whose desire it was to have one of their children serve the Lord. Even though this wasnt fulfilled in the way they had imagined, the Lord still called me to be one of His children and to serve Him as a missionary in a way Iand theydidnt even know existed. I had honestly wanted to be Gods child before, but I had lost hope due to the bad experiences, the bad examples and the selfishness that I had witnessed in the religious communityliving together but each person going their own way, pursuing selfish interests and not keeping their vows. So for me, finding the Family was like finding the real Jesus that I had always hoped for!
In my experience, the Family never once tried to take advantage of me or others for financial gain. Their sample of unselfish love, along with the Word and prayer, was enough to dispel any doubts along those lines during my time with them in Tenerife. Some months after I joined the Family, when the wild stories and allegations came out in the papers regarding the "exploitation of ignorant youth" and that the founder of the "cult" was a "selfish and depraved man who had large sums of money in Swiss banks," I was filled with indignation. It made me take an even stronger stand to fight and defend the truth, Father David and the Family whenever and wherever such lies were being spread.
I could clearly see that the things said against David were the same things that had been said against Jesus. Jesus was accused of being a friend of drunks and harlots, and of being possessed with the Devil. I was convinced that the effect that David had on my life, as well as the lives of many others, was good. Therefore, David and the Family had to be good. For Jesus said, "An evil tree cannot bring forth good fruit," and "By their fruits ye shall know them." (See Matthew chapter 7.) I felt like the blind man in John chapter 9 who was healed by Jesus and later confronted by the Pharisees. They told him, "We know this man [Jesus] is a sinner." The man who had been blind answered, "Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see."
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family