PUT JESUS FIRST!--By Peter                Peter No.35              4/86

(From a Talk to a Staff Member.)
         1. I'VE TALKED TO YOU BEFORE ABOUT JEALOUSY, & I know that you had some victory, but partial victory is not enough! The Enemy is really fighting you & he's out to win, & it's for keeps! What you're letting him do to you is very dangerous: You're letting him play on your emotions & run riot with them & toss you this way & that, & it all makes for a very unstable situation, because you're yielding to the Enemy. The more you yield to your emotions, the more he has control, & the more dangerous it is to the point that if you don't get the victory, it'll cause you to go off the deep end! That is the whole purpose & what the Enemy is trying to do, is snuff you out, snuff out your usefulness to the Lord & His service!--And it's working! You're not keeping your mind on Jesus, Who will keep you in perfect peace.
         2. BY BEING SO PREOCCUPIED WITH YOUR JEALOUSY & your problems & all that it entails, like wondering what your mate is doing all the time, your usefulness to the Lord is diminishing! You can't concentrate on your work, you can't follow through on anything & you're letting the Enemy in! Pretty soon it starts to affect others & this jealousy not only defeats you, but it starts to defeat everybody else in the Lord's work, & that just can't be!
         3. WHEN I WAS HAVING BIG PROBLEMS MYSELF, I REALISED THAT IT WAS WAR, & the only way to win was to be as militant about it as the Enemy was being, & it took desperate prayer! When you call on the Lord with your whole heart, then He will answer! What really pulled me through was total desperation & total fight!--Which the Lord gave me the strength for, I didn't have it myself. I just cried out to the Lord & then had to really take the stand! You're fighting the attacks of the Devil on one hand & the Lord on the other because of unyieldedness, & there's no victory there, it's a losing battle!
         4. BUT LIKE I FOUND OUT DURING THE TIMES WHEN I WAS REALLY JEALOUS, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE LORD IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU SEE THAT HE'S ALL THAT REALLY COUNTS! Human love or relationships, your job, everything can fail, it's never enough! It doesn't supply the need, because the Lord doesn't allow it to supply the need! The only thing that does supply the need is Jesus! It's as simple as that!
         5. BUT YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO THE POSITION RIGHT NOW THAT YOUR HAPPINESS & YOUR PEACE OF MIND & YOUR JOY ALL REVOLVES AROUND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MATE & it's not getting you anywhere! Because as long as that is where your treasure is, that's where your heart will be also! And if that's the main point in your life, then you're revolving around the wrong thing! The Lord said, "I will have no other gods before Me!" And that's what it amounts to when you allow yourself to get so jealous! You get attacked with it, but if you yield to it as you are doing, you're putting something else before the Lord.--It doesn't matter if it's your job or whatever you're jealous of.--You're putting it above God's will!
         6. YOU'RE DEMANDING: "FOR ME TO BE HAPPY & TO BE FULL OF THE LORD & FULL OF JOY, I HAVE TO HAVE THIS!" But then what happens when the Lord says, "I don't want you to have that any more!" Then you're not happy & you fight back with, "Well, I know better than You, Lord!" You're yielded to the problem, the jealousy, & because of that you can't be happy unless everything's going your way.
         7. SO THE ONLY WAY TO GET A REAL VICTORY IS TO PUT THE LORD FIRST IN YOUR LIFE, which apparently you haven't been. If you had your eyes on the Lord all the time, your battles & situations around you would be insignificant! I know that's a pretty broad statement, but it is the truth! As long as you love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind & strength, the rest isn't going to matter that much! He'll make it so it doesn't matter!
         8. WHEN YOU GET YOUR EYES OFF THE LORD, HE WON'T LET YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DELIGHTING YOURSELF IN HIM! Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean that if you get your eyes on the Lord again that you're going to have your mate back, because maybe that's not the best, I don't know. Only He knows best. But if your heart & mind are totally on Jesus, it won't matter that much either way.
         9. BUT AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT PUTTING THE LORD FIRST, YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MESS! And the more & more you yield to the problem, the worse & worse it's going to get. It's going to destroy you! The victory's there, you just have to want it no matter what the cost!--And the cost is going to be to put the Lord first in your life no matter what, because the most important thing is your relationship with the Lord & your service for Him!
         10. THAT'S WHAT THE GOAL IS! That's what you're going to have to reach, that's what you're going to have to let the Lord do in your life by drawing close to Him. All the rest is temporal, the rest is nothing in comparison. I think when we get to Heaven & we see how things really are, we're going to be pretty ashamed of some of the things that we made so valuable & so important in our lives here on Earth, because in the long run our own desires & will are the least important!
         11. THE ONLY WAY THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET THE VICTORY IS TO GIVE HER UP, TO FORSAKE HER!--To really forsake her to the point that it doesn't matter any more, that you don't care any more, that all you care about is that you love Jesus & Jesus loves you & He knows what's best! Maybe the reason the Lord allowed your mate to fall in love with someone else was to teach you that the only thing that counts in this life is Him & pleasing Him & living for Him & not worrying about all this other stuff! Because all these affairs just cause you to worry & to fear you're going to lose what you want. Part of being a disciple is forsaking all & putting the Lord first, & that's what we're here for!
         12. I KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING IS 100% RIGHT, BUT I ALSO KNOW IT'S NOT THAT EASY TO DO, & IT TAKES THE LORD'S HELP TO GIVE YOU THE GRACE TO DO IT! But you've got to get the victory, because if you don't, you're going to go crazy!
         13. IF YOU'RE JEALOUS, THEY CAN GIVE YOU 20 TIMES MORE SEX THAN YOU EVER HAD IN YOUR LIFE, BUT IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH, it still doesn't satisfy! Because the crux of the matter is, you're putting something before the Lord, & nothing satisfies except the Lord!
         14. YOU'RE IN A PRETTY SERIOUS SITUATION, & WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU CRACK UP! You don't have to as long as you put the Lord first, as long as you yield to what the Lord wants. Maybe the Lord doesn't want you to have her love. Maybe the Lord doesn't want you to have anything! You can't put anything before the Lord!
         15. THE JEALOUS ARE IN DIRECT OPPOSITION TO THE LORD'S WILL, BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT WHAT THE LORD'S DOING IN THEIR LIVES! And I dare say that often the Lord allows that to happen to people to get'm to say "uncle" to the Lord, to say, "I don't care any more, all I know is I need Jesus!"
         16. IT'S JUST LIKE TORTURE TRYING TO HANG ON TO SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE LOSING! When really the Lord just wants you to let go of what you think is going to make you happy, & what you think is important, & then He'll catch you & show you what really is important & what real love is all about, what He wants.--Your love, first & foremost, with nothing else in the way!
         17. THE LORD JUST DOESN'T WANT YOU TO PUT ANYTHING BEFORE HIM! Whatever you try, He slaps it out of the way! Or if you're too demanding, maybe in some cases He lets you have it & sends leanness to your soul. I'm sure that lots of people get in that situation. They sort of demand for the Lord to do something, & then the Lord does it & it's just husks! The only way to really know true happiness & the only way to really have peace of mind is in finding the Lord's will & not fighting against it! If you're not willing to yield, you could have a physical & spiritual breakdown!
         18. THE ENEMY CAN TAKE THESE RELATIONSHIPS & MAKE THEM THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN PEOPLE'S LIVES.--And they allow it! But if you're putting the Lord & His work first & His Kingdom first, with all your heart & soul & mind & strength, then everything else isn't going to make that much difference. The Lord can send blessings your way then because He can trust you with them, but if you forsake your plow & your relationship with the Lord to run off & get involved with some personal relationship, the Lord's not going to bless it & the Enemy can use it as a distraction!
         19. SO FOR YOUR SAKE, FOR YOUR SANITY & FOR YOUR CONTINUED SERVICE TO THE LORD, YOU'VE GOT TO GET THE VIC. In other words, to have the victory & to defeat the Enemy in this thing is worth it, no matter what it takes, & it might take everything! But if it does, it's worth it, because if you don't get the victory, it's going to destroy you. It's that simple. But you have to be willing to do whatever it takes.
         20. I'M JUST SAYING WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO, YOU NEED TO SEE THAT THIS IS WHAT THE LORD WANTS, BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU! He doesn't want your good works, He doesn't want your good intentions, He doesn't want your relationships, He wants you! And I'll tell you something, He'll do whatever He has to do to get you! Because He wants you, & He wants your love, & that is the most important thing!
         21. IT'S NOT AN EASY ROAD TO TAKE, IT'S EVEN LIKE DEATH. But then there's the resurrection, the new man that you become when you become totally dependent on the Lord. God only uses broken men & women, that's who He can truly use, those who are totally dependent on Him & not on themselves or somebody else!
         22. SO INSTEAD OF LOOKING AT IT ALL LIKE, "OH, THIS IS TERRIBLE THAT I'M SO WEAK," YOU SHOULD THANK THE LORD THAT HE'S ALLOWING YOU TO GO THROUGH THESE THINGS! And maybe He's not done, I don't know! But it comes to the point you either yield to what He's doing, or you get flushed out! He wants to use you for greater service, but He can only use you if you're completely yielded & the way He wants you. So you have a choice: You either go through it & you come out better & more useful, or you refuse to go through it & you die spiritually.
         23. IT'S LIKE "FIRST LOVE", YOU HAVE TO PUT THE LORD FIRST. The Lord is the only place you'll ever find the comfort & the peace that you need. Every other situation or person will fail, your jobs, everything. If you put your hopes in natural relationships, they will fail. It just doesn't work! The Lord's pretty smart, He designed things so that the only thing that really fills the void is going to be Him & nothing else is going to satisfy!
         24. SO JUST LOVE THE LORD & PUT HIM FIRST & JUST LET HIM WORK OUT WHATEVER OTHER SITUATION HE WANTS TO WORK OUT. Just determine here & now that no matter what, you're going to put the Lord first! Because if you'll do that, that's the victory, that's the answer, & without that there is no answer, there is no victory! Because as long as you're putting something before the Lord, He's not going to bless it.
         25. IT'S A REAL FORSAKING ALL! You just have to say, "Okay, Lord! I'm going to trust that You know what's best, even if it doesn't look to me like it's best!" You may be praying for bread & what you get looks like a stone, but later on you find out that the stone was really bread! You didn't think it was so great at the time, it didn't seem like a very great answer, but it turned out to be bread after all!
         26. SO SOMETIMES THE THINGS WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH DON'T LOOK SO GREAT & THEY LOOK PRETTY PAINFUL, like an operation, but in the end you're stronger than before! So if it means you have to lose your mate completely--I'm not saying that's the case--I'm just saying in your heart you have to forsake her, but no matter what, the Lord in the end is going to make it better.
         27. HE ALWAYS HONOURS IT IF YOU FORSAKE ALL, IF YOU PUT HIM FIRST. You know that, those are spiritual principles. If you put Him first, He's going to take care of you, He's going to give you what's best, if you yield your life to Him! If you put the Lord first & delight yourself in Him, He gives you the desires of your heart. If you seek first Him & His Kingdom, He adds all these things unto you. It's so simple, & yet it's so hard! But you have to trust, you have to have faith in His Word that He's going to do all those things, & He does!
         28. IT'S A TOUGH LESSON TO LEARN, BUT LEARN IT! When the decision was made that Juan would come to our house, it really fritzed me out! He wasn't even there yet, but I got jealous! And Mama pretty much socked it to me, nicely, but straightforwardly. What she said was awesome & crushing to me, but yet it was also the truth. She said, "Look, what difference does it make if I love you or don't love you, or have feelings toward you or don't have feelings toward you or have anything to do with you or not? What difference does that make as far as you & the Lord go? The Lord is what counts! Jesus should be the most important thing in your life, so what difference does another's love for you make at all?"
         29. WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT LATER, IT WAS REALLY THE TRUTH! I REALISED THAT ALL THAT TRULY MATTERED WAS MY RELATIONSHIP TO THE LORD, NOT TO ANYONE ELSE. It's fearful & it's scary if you're in that situation because your relationship or your love is just like your security blanket! But the truth of the matter is when that blanket's taken away & there's nothing left, there really is something, there's the Lord, & He's really all that counts! He's the most important of all! And that's why He took the blanket away, because He wants our love in First Place for Him! So actually nothing else should really matter at all in comparison!
         30. WE HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO BE IN LOVE OR NOT IN LOVE, TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OR NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Whether you have someone to have sex with all the time or you're in jail & you don't have anybody to have sex with ever, what's the difference, really? Does that mean you're going to stop serving the Lord or stop loving the Lord? It shouldn't! Because all that counts is the Lord! All the other stuff should really neither be here nor there. It's just a little extra added frosting on the top, the cherry, but it's not the whole sundae!
         31. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE LORD & THE GOAL, YOU'LL DO FINE! WHEN YOU GET YOUR EYES OFF THE GOAL, FORGET IT! But as long as you're going forward & staying on the Lord's path & His will & don't get sidetracked by your job, your mate, your lover, as long as you stay on track for the Lord, He supplies all those things & gives you what you need, but they're not that important. But boy, if you get off track, or side-tracked, your usefulness is lessened or lost--your connection with the Lord, your connection with the Word, your relationship with others, everything suffers! But as long as you put Him & His Kingdom & everything else first, it's all taken care of!
         32. WHEN YOU'RE JEALOUS IT SEEMS LIKE, "OH, NOTHING COULD EASE THE PAIN IF I LOSE HER!"--BUT YOU'RE WRONG!--THE LORD DOES IT, HE SUPPLIES, & TIME ALSO DOES IT! If you accept the situation & yield to what the Lord's doing, then it really won't bother you. But if you fight & drag & scratch & scream, it's going to be much more painful! So it's your choice!

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