JEWELS ON DAD'S HOMEGOING!--No.2
Maria #254
DO 2971
Comp.11/94
By Maria
Dad's Little Patio Room!
1. Whenever I get into thinking how I miss Dad, the thing that pulls me out of it the quickest is to realize how terrifically happy he is. I get happy real quick thinking how marvelous it is that he is in Heaven and all that all he is experiencing There.
2. I was thinking about the little cement and plastic hut that Dad had built outside behind our house, putting corrugated plastic on the roof and netting over the front; and how practically every day for the last month of his life he had gone to sit out in that little area at a little table where he would talk with the members of our staff or read the newspaper. Dad had gotten so much enjoyment just going outside in the fresh air, in spite of the fact that there was hardly any greenery around, just cement and house walls. I had been praying for something nicer for Dad, a place with a pretty view and a beautiful garden, but nothing had turned up.
3. I often thought how Dad always made the best of whatever situation he was in, and always saw the possibilities and the beauty of it no matter how unbeautiful it might be. We always marveled that he was able to enjoy the simplest things in life and get so much pleasure out of them. He was the most wonderful sample of living the verse, "Be content with such things as ye have" (Heb.13:5), and wholeheartedly believing that "Little is much if God is in it." He knew how to abound or be abased, how to suffer want or enjoy plenty (Phil.4:12), and he took each in its stride, with no complaints.
4. However, knowing how much he loved looking at God's creation, at the beautiful grass and trees and flowers, we wanted so much for him to be able to enjoy these things.--And now we know why we couldn't find them! The Lord knew Dad wasn't going to need them, and that he was going to go to a view and a creation that was much greater than he had ever even imagined!--And as you know, he had imagined a lot! The Lord had been putting him through one final test to see if he would continue to praise Him and glorify Him in the most humble of surroundings, and he passed the test superbly.
5. In that last month it was as though he had nowhere else to go. I asked him one day, "Sweetheart, don't you want to go out for a walk or for a drive?" And he said, "No, there are no more worlds to conquer." He said it very matter-of-factly, like he had done all the exploring he could think of for the time being, and said that he was enjoying just sitting in his patio room. But the Lord knew the desire of his heart for new, unexplored territory, fresh challenges and new horizons, and that it wouldn't be possible to have them here on this Earth. So the Lord lovingly called him to a place where challenges never end and there are always new horizons, and boredom is a thing unknown.
6. I was thinking about that crude little patio room that Dad enjoyed so much in his last days and this song came to me, one that Dad had sung many times:
A tent or cottage, why should I care?
They're building a palace for me over There!
Though exiled from home, yet still I may sing:
All glory to God, I'm the child of a King.
My Father's Own Son, the Savior of Men,
Once wandered on Earth as the poorest of them.
But now He is reigning forever on High
And will give me a Home in Heaven by-and-by.
7. Dad truly lost his life that he might save it, and he's now being repaid one hundredfold for those things he sacrificed for the sake of the Lord and His Family! Now any pain or suffering he felt is forgotten in the joys of being with his Heavenly Father and being able to realize all his dreams--and more!
The Glories of Death!
8. Maybe the reason the Lord let Dad be sick so often and so near death was so that he would give us all these beautiful, beautiful Letters on the glories of death. He had to suffer that we might be healed--through the Word.
Still Learning in Heaven!
9. It was interesting that in the "Heavenly Welcome" prophecies there were two visions by two different people about some of the folks in Heaven needing to have an explanation about Dad and the Family. (See "Dad's Heavenly Welcome," paragraphs 65 and 73. Lifelines 21.) Perhaps this is possible since people are still going to be learning and growing in Heaven and they are obviously not going to learn everything all at once. Dad talked about church people in Heaven in some of his Letters, and how they won't quite understand us and maybe it will take them awhile. (See ML #1435.)
10. A lot of us probably think about the verse, "we are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses" (Heb.12:1), but we can't assume--like we probably have assumed--that that "great cloud of witnesses" means everybody in Heaven! Apparently it's only some of the folks in Heaven, the ones who perhaps are more advanced and are rewarded or possibly commissioned with the ministry of taking care of what is going on here on Earth.
11. Dad said he had a lot of questions to ask the Patriarchs, so they will obviously be teaching him. Just because he made it to the Heavenly City doesn't mean he automatically knows everything, but instead he is going to be asking and being taught. So maybe by the same token some of these church folks will need to be taught about the Family and about Dad. Even if they have been There awhile, there may still be quite a few things that they don't know.
12. There wouldn't be much challenge in Heaven if everything there is to know was automatically learned at the beginning! The Lord is obviously going to have to spread it out quite a bit to make it last through all eternity. If we were just going to be zapped with all the knowledge there is and there wasn't anything left to learn, what would be the point? We would lose all sense of challenge and excitement and enthusiasm and looking forward to the next step.
Delivering Our Souls to Our Friends!
(While compiling the various announcements about Dad's Homegoing, one WS staff member suggested that it might be best if the Family avoided a few of our more unconventional beliefs about Heaven and the spirit world when sharing the news of Dad's Homegoing with friends and relatives. Following is Mama's reply:)
13. Just because our friends don't believe in certain of our doctrines, does that mean we are going to be hypocritical and act like we don't believe them ourselves?--Or do we want to share them so they too can be blessed, and possibly change their own faulty ways of looking at things in favor of more Godly ones! If the Family starts considering whether their various friends are going to agree with all the things in this GN (GN 609), they are probably going to have to admit that hardly any of them believe the same way we do in every respect, and some differ with us quite a bit. Therefore, if we tell the Family not to share any of our more unconventional beliefs, they probably will not share anything at all with them!
14. I had to consider this question when sharing things with my parents in my Christmas letter to them, and I came to the conclusion that while they do not believe in a happy attitude toward death; while they do not believe at all in our ability to communicate with departed loved ones, nor do they think it is Scriptural; while they do not believe in prophecy; and while they hardly believe in anything that I will tell them about this event, I am going to tell them anyway because they need to hear it! I am going to tell them whether they believe in it or not, and let them know that this is what makes us happy and this is what we believe is Scriptural, and this is what bears good fruit in our lives. And if they don't like it, they don't have to accept it, but they can just "choose the good and eschew the evil." Ha!
15. If it causes us to be more on fire for Jesus than ever and to do better in our soul-winning for Him, then the fruit is good and they should be very thankful. So I don't know if we really want to caution the Family that some of this might be "strong meat" for their friends. It probably will be for most of them; nevertheless, they need to hear it, and if they can't take it, that's their problem!
16. I think we should deliver our souls! I think that's one reason why the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons have grown so rapidly, because they have given their doctrines--which many people, of course, did not agree with or understand--to virtually the general public. And they have found, as a result, many "sheep" amongst the public who were hungry and searching for something better and deeper. But often we get so scared about our doctrines and think that people aren't going to like them or accept them or that it is going to blow them away that we don't share them, and as a result we don't give them the food that they are hungering and searching for.
17. I know there is a balance in all of this and we do have to use wisdom, but I tend to lean more to the side of sharing more.
Battle with Condemnation!--The Lord's and Dad's Forgiveness
18. After having preached so much against condemning yourself, I'm still tempted to have battles with it. Almost every time I think of Dad and anything that he did or anything about him, I get hit with the thought that I failed him in some way. So I either give in to it--which I try not to do--or I just don't think about it and get busy with everything I have to be busy with.
19. I've never had this battle with condemnation before--condemnation that keeps knocking at my door. It's quite a fight knowing that you could have made it so much easier for someone and given them so much more love and care than you did. Of course, Dad isn't blaming me, and I'm sure he's forgotten it. The same with the Lord. So why do I keep blaming myself? It's probably because I know that I didn't do all that I could, and I failed and I feel like I need to be punished. And since neither the Lord nor Dad nor anyone else will punish me, I feel I have to do it myself!
20. I'm sure this idea of having to be punished for every sin or failing is the Devil's idea. It makes very good sense and it's very logical. After all, it's the law, it's justice. However, when Jesus died on the cross for us, He took not only our past sins, but our present sins and our future sins on Himself so we wouldn't have to be condemned by the Devil, neither would we have to condemn ourselves. It wasn't just our sins of not loving Jesus enough that He took upon Himself, but all our sins, all our failures, all our shortcomings.
21. If we're sorry and we have repented and asked the Lord's forgiveness and the forgiveness of the person whom we've wronged, it's the Lord's will that we do not condemn ourselves. Neither does He condemn us. "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit" (Rom.8:1). And as Jesus said to the woman taken in adultery, "Neither do I condemn thee; go, and sin no more" (John 8:11).
22. I was encouraged when I was listening to Dad's "Songs of Heaven" tape and heard him say, "Probably when I get there I'll feel really bad for the way in which I have yelled at you, and the times I've treated you harshly." I don't see how he could be feeling bad about his treatment of me, because he couldn't have had more love or been more tender or caring or concerned. But he might be a little remorseful that he got impatient sometimes with others and raised his voice, or jumped to conclusions too quickly.
23. The vision someone sent us of Timothy Concerned being too ashamed to come before Dad because of the way he had failed also portrayed some condemnation even in Heaven. But now that Timothy has been able to ask Dad's forgiveness, what do you bet that that will be the end of it and that burden will be lifted? If he accepts the forgiveness, he won't have a problem with it any more--just like us.
24. God's forgiveness and God's promises that "there is now no condemnation" apply equally to us on Earth as they do to those in Heaven--"on Earth as it is in Heaven"--and we can be "partakers of the divine nature" here the same as they are There (2Pet.1:4). If Dad has had any such condemnation, I'm sure it didn't last long and he was able to accept the Lord's forgiveness. And of course everyone here forgives him, although they probably wouldn't even think that it was something that they needed to forgive! I'm sure they feel that if Dad got upset with them, they most likely deserved it!
25. The more I keep thinking about it, the more I realize that what Dad said about Heaven being so similar to things on Earth was not just a speculation--it was the absolute truth!--In fact, a revelation that the Lord had given him!
26. And if Dad has his way, what do you suppose he will assign Timothy to do? I have a feeling it will be like Edison with his apprentice who broke the light bulb, but he turned around and trusted him with the next one! (See "Good Thots 2," page 1286, #287.) I got the distinct impression that now that Timothy has suffered and been forgiven for his failures, Dad would tell him, "Son, I want you to be the one that has the special job of tuning in to Techi and doing all you can to help her now!" Not that Grandpa won't be right there looking over his shoulder to make sure his precious Techi is okay, but it would be just like Dad, with his great love and forgiveness, to want to share this responsibility with Timothy.
Tears in Heaven?
27. The Lord says He is going to wipe away our tears, so obviously there are some tears in Heaven (Rev.7:17, 21:4). In the vision someone got of Timothy Concerned, it was very clear that Timothy was crying when he met Dad. I don't think folks in Heaven will cry about what we on Earth have done to them, but I think they might cry for what they have done to hurt us. They may feel condemnation over failures here on Earth, just as we also feel condemnation for our failures, which neither they nor we have to suffer once we realize that we are truly forgiven.
28. The Bible says that God shall wipe away all tears--but we don't know if He wipes them away as soon as you get there, or if He wipes them away later, like it seems He has done with Timothy. We don't know what the situation is. One thing I am pretty sure of is that our departed loved ones are not going to be crying over the things that we did or did not do to them, but apparently they can cry over their own failures.
Mama's "Do It Now!" Victory!
29. The Lord has been really helping me to be able to face my dictaphone and say something, and talk to somebody! In the past, my overwhelming tendency and my practice has been to write it down in my notebook when I need to answer somebody, and from my notebook it gets read to me and dictated on a little "list" tape, and the little tape gets put in a little box until I finally get around to being able to take the tape out of the box, stick it in the dictaphone, listen to it, and dictate point by point from that tape. The problem is, sometimes I don't get back to those tapes for quite awhile, and some of those points on those tapes I never do dictate, because I already have such a big list. So I just skip them, conveniently, if they don't really have to be taken care of.
30. But the Lord has been making a real change in my life in helping me to face those fears. It is more than just procrastinating and not wanting to have the extra work right now. It's sort of a fear or phobia I have of being faced with having to write something. I feel like, "Oh, I can't say it," or "I can't say it well enough," or "I don't know what to say, so I'll just put it off till later." That's often our tendency when we have what we consider an unpleasant job, just to shove it aside and not deal with it. But the Lord is helping me to face those fears and phobias and just take my dictaphone and do it right away, do it right now!
31. Whenever I'm listening to my messages and something comes along that is a question, or somebody writes me something that I need to answer, it's become much more the rule than the exception that I take my little dictaphone and I answer it right away. I pray, "Lord, I haven't had a chance to really think about this or pray a lot about it, but if You want to answer it, You're going to have to help me to answer it right now. Because You know if I stick it in my notebook, I might never get around to answering it. And it's so much better that they hear some answer from me than none at all."--And the Lord really has been helping me!
32. So praise the Lord, I have been doing that a lot more, and I'm very happy about it. It's a real accomplishment that the Lord has done. I know it's the Lord and His mercy to help me to get more done and to learn to "do it now," which has always been Grandpa's motto.--Whereas my motto has usually been just the opposite: "Do it later." Really, we were that opposite! He always did it now, and most of the time I did it later.
33. Some things, of course, it is good to let sit a little while and think about and pray about, but so many things you could do right away and just pray as you go. We can't leave everything until later to pray about, because more things keep coming in all the time and it's a constant flow. So you just have to deal with things now or they're not going to get done!
34. One thing that's always impressed me about Grandpa is how he never belittled the little things and they were always very important to him and valuable. He knew the value of that little "GBY! ILY!" that he'd write on the letters that people wrote him, which would get passed on to them, and how much that was going to mean to them. Grandpa's "GBY! ILY!" and the heart around their name meant as much to people as getting a big thank-you letter from me, because it's the thought that counts, and the personal care and attention. You don't have to write a big, long letter, but you can just show people that you are reading what they have to say, that they're important to you and that you love them. Grandpa could make lots more of those short little notations than he could have written long, personal letters to people, so it resulted in many more people being blessed and encouraged.
35. Well, I haven't really gotten to the point where I can just put a "GBY! ILY!" and I guess the Lord is leading me differently in this case to do these little letters. Giving more lengthy answers is in some ways teaching people lessons, because I can say certain things to them that I couldn't say in just a little notation.--And by publishing some of them, maybe it's helping the whole Family to see how to comfort people and how to write letters to them. So it's serving its purpose.
36. My problem in writing people is that I often feel like, "How can I express adequately what I want to say to them, or what the Lord wants to say to them? How can I show enough love and appreciation in a few words for all they've gone through and all the trials that they've overcome and how they've stayed true to the Lord as such good soldiers in such difficult situations?" I'm sure the Lord wants to show them His love in a special way, but I feel so inadequate, like I can't express what I want to say or the wonderful love that the Lord has for them, and the compassion He has on them and how He is so proud of them. So I sort of get frustrated and I feel these few words are not enough to even begin to tell them what I should be telling them, if I could.
37. But then that's where Dad's little notes are always an encouragement to me, because he just went ahead, and those little words meant so much to people. I think the Lord multiplies it and makes it mean much more than it actually says in words. He helps the recipients to feel that love behind the note or letter in a much greater way than just looking at the words themselves.
38. So I have to have enough faith to believe that the Lord will help the Family to feel His Spirit behind those words and multiply the love that is so poorly expressed in the words alone, and that they will feel God's love in a very great way through just a few insufficient words. It's our part just to do what we can do, and then He's got to make it multiply or flourish or blossom or grow in someone's heart.
39. It's like when we witness to people: We feel so inadequate and sometimes we stumble through, but it's God Spirit that has to do the job. He uses us as a tool, but He'll use whatever He has, whatever we have to offer. He'll just use that and multiply it, and the Holy Spirit is the One Who convicts people's hearts.
40. You could give one person the salvation message and they wouldn't be moved at all and it wouldn't even faze them. But you can give exactly the same message to another person and they'll start weeping and crying and saying, "Oh yes, I really want Jesus. I need Him so much!" You did the same thing in both cases, but one case turned out different than the other one. So what's the difference? It's the Holy Spirit that does it, you see? But the Lord has to use a human vehicle and He has to use our human words, because that's what He's bound Himself to do. So we have to say something, and what our poor, simple words can't do, the Lord can do, and will do, by His Spirit, if the Word falls on receptive ground.
41. So that's what we have to be conscious of and aware of and realize, and not just give up and say, "Oh it doesn't sound good and I can't say it." The Lord will use anything we have or however we can say it, if we'll just be obedient. Then His Holy Spirit will put the "umph" behind it, or the bite behind it, or the Spirit behind it to give it the power or the momentum or the meaning or the emotion that it needs.
Praying for Dad's Spirit and Strengths!
42. I really prayed to have Dad's spirit and some of the strengths that he had that I am lacking in, and I can see that the Lord is answering! For example, I'm miraculously overcoming the "let it wait till later" attitude in favor of Dad's "do it now" policy--at least in my dictation and answers--and it's been a real breakthrough.
43. I used to admire Dad so much for always taking care of things right away, no matter what it was. Well, sometimes it annoyed me, because it was a bit inconvenient to start a handyman project in our bedroom to fix something that wasn't exactly right at just the time we were ready to go to sleep--little things like that. But it was just because he was consistent in this policy and hardly ever wavered, and that's one reason why so much got done.
44. The Lord is also helping me to be much more fluent and not so stumbling in my dictation, and this saves everyone, including me, a lot of time. So I'm really thanking the Lord for this gift!
45. Also, the Lord--and Dad--are working on me to not just accept things the way they are, but if there's something that needs improvement, to work on it to change it. That was another of Dad's cardinal rules, that if there was something that needed to be changed, it must be changed, and it must be changed now!
46. Also, I'm really praying that I'll have Dad's spirit of conviction and fight and courage to stick to the revolutionary standard, and that I'll be able to carry through with his vision and his principles and his determination not to give in to the System, nor to water down his convictions in any way for any reason.--Either for preventing persecution, or for gaining monetarily, or for looking better in the eyes of our friends, etc. God help me--and all of us--to stay on the track and not swerve from the path that Dad mapped out for us, as he followed the Lord. We must continue to follow him, as he followed Christ (1Cor.11:1).
47. No matter how different my presentation may seem sometimes, because I'm a completely different personality, I hope that the principles will remain the same and come through loud and clear, and that through all the changes, the basics will remain stable, our foundation firm, and that we will not vary one iota from the truth of the Word.
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family