A CAUTION NOT TO COMPROMISE!     Maria #251       DO 2968  2/94
By Maria

         1. I've been quite concerned about what's happening both in England and Australia, where these court cases are going on, and the kind of compromises that the Family there feel they have to make. I hope they aren't justifying pulling their punches by the changes presently taking place in the Family as a whole, such as our loosening our rules on contact with TSers, the softening of our attitude toward our teens and others leaving by helping them on their way and even trying to make their landing place as comfortable as possible, and also the reconciliation ministry.
         2. While these may seem to be "compromises" of a sort, or at least changes in our policy, they have been done with much prayer and the counsel of the top leadership of the Family, and we have received the Lord's direction on these things. Although these steps may have been taken partly because of our considering possible System repercussions if we did not "loosen up," we believe that the Lord allowed the System pressure in these areas in order to help us make the decisions we did. This was His way of nudging us to make these particular decisions, because He knew that this was the right and the good thing to do.
         3. For example, in our opening up to the TSers more, I think we all can see how the Lord has been very much in this, even if the idea did come about as a result of our needing their help in the court cases. But I think we are ready for this now, whereas before we weren't. We're all seeing the wonderful fruits of this contact with our TSers, and even to some extent with former members.
         4. As far as our attitude toward people when they leave, especially our teens: Although the softening of our attitude may have been brought about partly as a result of the pressure of the System, I believe the Lord allowed this pressure to make us consider this change in our attitude, because it's a good one, and it's an improvement, and we're now able to handle things more wisely. We're now able to find a better balance between our love of the person and our hatred of their sins, and we have more wisdom in how to distinguish between the two.
         5. So I make no apologies for what some might consider "compromises" that we have been making as a Family, and I think they have been very good moves and they are guided by the Lord and confirmed by Him. However, I don't believe that every compromise that our Homes have been making has necessarily been right. I think some of it has been out of line, and some of it has been excessive, and some of it has resulted in a decided weakening of our members, and has exposed our young people to System influences that are very ungodly and very opposite to the Word.
         6. I think the looseness that our Family in Britain, and especially Australia, have allowed their children to get into in regards to System music and novels, etc., has not been good at all. I definitely don't think we had to do these things, and I don't think the Lord has blessed it. We and top leadership and WS never endorsed these things; in fact, they didn't seek our counsel about these matters. They basically compromised on these points out of an underlying fear that being seen as "too strict" in these matters would work against them in the court cases. Now they have to deal with the negative effects of these compromises, and we pray that they will not be permanent.
         7. I don't think the fact alone that we don't want our children to read ungodly novels or listen to hard rock and other kinds of System music would lose the case for us. If our enemies didn't have these things to criticize us for, they would still have a thousand more. So the excuse that we have to appear like the System and read their books and listen to their music isn't a good enough excuse to give the Lord. I certainly don't think it's going to do as much as they think it will in even helping them to win the case. It is just another of the Devil's devices to get the world into our children and young people and get their minds full of doubts and questions and the temptations of ungodly worldly wisdom, attitudes and relationships.
         8. This is another case where they could have taken the Word, the Bible, and had more than enough reason to say, "This is why we don't read ungodly novels, and this is why we don't listen to hard rock and many other kinds of System music." But they didn't stand on the Word, which I believe the Lord would have blessed. In the long run, their battle would have been much easier, but in the beginning, of course, it takes much more faith to step out on the Word alone.
         9. I think our Socialization Statement says it all, but if we don't live up to our Socialization Statement, then the Enemy has an inroad and knows that you can't stand on that as your defense because you're not living it, and that the Socialization Statement doesn't mean much in your life.
         10. Well, God bless them, they've done pretty well in most things and I don't want to condemn them, but I did have to bring this point up, since we're now seeing the problems that these compromises have caused in the lives of our Family in England and Australia.
         11. God bless you all, you're doing a wonderful job. I'm encouraged by the progress our Family has made. Don't be discouraged that things are moving slower than you had hoped. Just keep praying, following the Lord, shepherding, visiting and loving the sheep, and the Lord will bring about the victories!
         (Note: Our Australian Homes are doing much better now and have made a lot of progress, God bless them!

The Importance of Upholding the Standard with Our Friends!

(From a North American shepherdess:)
         While we were visiting one of the Homes, one of our academic friends came by with a couple of rented videos to show the children so he could have some fellowship time with them. This is the third time he has done this in the past few months, and it was a very sweet gesture on his part. However, there was some disunity in the Home over this, as the videos that he brings are questionable. This particular evening he brought over two movies, one of which was a very violent "Bugs Bunny" cartoon.
         The next morning we discussed this with the Home shepherd. He explained that it is very special for this man to be getting so personally involved with the Home like that--something he has never really done before and which is a big change for him. Even some of our other academic friends are surprised, as it is quite out of character for him.
         The Home shepherd explained that it means a lot to this friend to select the videos, and in his view, he is trying to pick things that are innocent and geared toward kids, though "Bugs Bunny" was full of total meaningless violence. Evidently the other ones our friend has selected before weren't as bad.
         One problem we see from this is, for one thing, they have never discussed as a Home how to approach this situation with the videos, so most of the adults and YAs don't understand why their shepherd is allowing it, which has caused some division and discontent. The other thing we were wondering about is if it would be good for the Home to show a little more conviction about it--like in the Letter "Conviction and Honesty" (Maria #51, DB3).
         We certainly wouldn't want to offend our good friend, nor risk losing our friendship with him, but we are concerned about the spiritual condition of our children. I was even wondering, since our friend has read so much of our material and probably knows our standard in many areas, if he might even be testing our convictions. He is also bringing over soft drinks like Coca-Cola for the children for these video nights.
         So far no one has said anything to our friend and they have shown nothing but love and appreciation to him, and he is genuinely enjoying the love and fellowship with the children!

(Mama's reply to the above report:)
         12. (Mama:) I don't think the situation with our academic friend is that difficult a subject to judge. I don't know why the Home can't lovingly approach him and offer some ideas of good movies that he could bring when he comes to the Home. They could just tell him that normally in our Homes we don't let the children watch those particular kinds of videos because of our convictions, and go on to explain the kind of attitudes or behavior that those particular types of movies instill in the children, etc.
         13. He also certainly should be able to understand about the Coca-Cola and soft drinks, and that juices would be a very good alternative and more healthful, and would save on the children's teeth and prevent hyperactivity, as Coca-Cola has a high level of caffeine.--And that it would also help to uphold our Family standard and wouldn't bring questions into the kids' minds of why we are not doing what Grandpa has told us to do. I think this is just another sample of how influenced our people let themselves be by our outside friends.
         14. As was brought out in the above report, he may just be testing us, and if he is, how sad that we failed the test! It just shows how easy it is to water down our convictions, but how much damage it does to everyone involved.
         15. The saddest thing is that it doesn't take one of our outside friends to make our Family compromise. They've certainly in many instances done it on their own without any outside help! One report we heard recently mentioned that some Homes are drinking a lot of soft drinks and eating all kinds of junk food, and they don't even have an academic friend or a court case to blame it on.
         16. Certainly it seems like our friend would be willing, for the sake of the children, to get his videos ahead of time so that the adults can preview them. If that bothers him, well, I still think he'll be able to take it; and even if it keeps him from coming over to that particular Home so often, he's already having a lot of contact with other Homes that will make up for it.
         17. We can't water down or throw away all of our convictions just to please someone. Although our friend might be a little hurt, I'm sure he would respect us much more if we stay true to what we believe and what is best for our children.


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