"WHEN YE PRAY, USE NOT VAIN REPETITIONS!" (Mat.6:7).     Maria #216       DO 2914  1/94
By Maria

(Mama's talk to some of the leadership and staff, 11/92:)
         1. What I'm about to bring to your attention is a small point that may not seem very important to us, but can be quite a turnoff for outsiders. Many of you do it and it seems to be a bad habit, which, however, can be broken with some effort and prayer.
         2. Many of you have gotten into the habit in your prayers of repeating the name "Jesus" or "Lord" as a filler, to fill up the space between phrases and sentences when you're pausing to think about what you're going to say next. Instead of just pausing and not saying anything, you repeat "Jesus" or "Lord," and it can almost become a "vain repetition" (Mat.6:7).
         3. For outsiders it can seem overdone and strange, and it's something that we should try to eliminate. If we're "persecuted for righteousness' sake"--for witnessing and standing up for our convictions--that's one thing. But if we're looked upon as strange and fanatical for things that are our own fault and of our own making, that's not good.
         4. We should try to get out of that bad habit and try to limit ourselves and really think about why we use "Jesus" and "Lord" so many times when we're praying. Do we actually need to address Him by name that often? Or are we just doing it to fill up space? Regardless of how we say them and what words we use, most of our prayers are heartfelt and sincere, and when we pray with outsiders, often they feel God's Spirit and are touched. However, it is very possible that some may be more turned off than turned on, focusing more on the "strange way" you address the Lord, which, God forbid, might give some the impression of a mindless robotic chant.
         5. For the sake of showing you how it would sound, let me give you an example. If I were talking to Peter and were to use his name in the conversation as often as some of you use the Lord's name when talking to Him, it would sound a little like this: "Peter, I'm going to tell you what I want you to do, Peter. And I know you'll do it well, Peter, because I know you love the Lord and you try to do your best, Peter. So please don't worry that you'll make mistakes, Peter. All of us make mistakes, Peter. But you really don't need to worry about it, Peter, because the Lord will help you, Peter," etc.! We don't talk to others like this, and we should try to break the bad habit of talking to the Lord in this manner.
         6. Now I suppose that all of a sudden you'll all start feeling self-conscious when you pray and think that everybody is going to be counting the times you use the name "Jesus" or "Lord," and you may be right! But this is something you'll have to endure for a while in order to overcome this habit. The self-consciousness will probably go away soon, as you get the hang of praying without so much repetition. A normal amount is fine, and we don't want you to go to the opposite extreme and not use His name at all in speaking to Him.
         7. We need to be a bit more aware of what we say in our public prayers and try to use the Lord's name meaningfully, and not just to fill in a pause. Many of us are guilty of this or have been in the past, and those not guilty of this are guilty of other things, so don't anybody point the finger at anybody else. Let's just try to make sure that we're not using the Lord's name in vain, and let's try to teach our children the same.
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         8. (1/94:) Dear Family, if you were to hear conversations where somebody repeats the person's name to whom they're talking over and over and over, it would sound quite strange. And while you like to have people say your name in conversation, if it's as constant as some of us say "Jesus" and "Lord" in our prayers, it would get to be too much and turn you off!
         9. I've been reluctant to bring this to your attention because I know that this is such a habit with many of us, and I know it's going to be hard to break. Also, I know that if we caution you about it, you're all going to be self-conscious about your prayers, and those of you who can break the habit more easily and quickly may become critical of those who can't. However, since we are having much greater contact with those outside our communities, it has become much more important now for us to set a good example in all that we do, and not be lazy or negligent when dealing with the precious hearts and minds of those the Lord brings to us. We want to show them that dedicated Christians are not weird, are not sloppy in their speech habits, and are good samples in their communication with the Lord and with others.
         10. Moreover, we want to help them to feel comfortable with us and not like they have landed in a strange Eastern religion with unusual prayer rituals that cause them to focus more on the "vain repetitions" than our sincere communication with our loving Heavenly Father. There are certainly many things about the Family that they may already consider strange and "foreign"--things that are very different from what they are used to. Where this is unavoidable and a necessary part of our lifestyle and beliefs, such as continual open prayer and praise in all that we do, the Lord can help them overcome these differences. However, we should make an effort to eliminate any strange or different habits or customs that are not necessary and only make it difficult for folks to relate to us and feel comfortable around us.

Improving Our Speech Habits!
         11. Another speech habit that comes to mind is answering everything with "Amen!" Most folks outside our Homes have only heard "amen" used as an ending to a prayer, not a substitute for the word "yes." So I suggest that we try to eliminate this usage of "amen" from our speech also.
         12. In religious meetings or church services, it is perfectly acceptable to "amen" the speaker or preacher or a person who is publicly praying. This is commonly accepted terminology for religious affirmations. However, in normal everyday speech about nonreligious things, when you agree with statements or questions being asked, you should respond with a "yes" instead of an "amen!" For example, if Auntie Mary asks you if you got your get-out today, you should answer her with a "Yes, ma'am," not an "Amen!"
         13. It's amazing, when we examine ourselves closely, what "extra baggage" of bad speech habits or Family slang we can come up with that is just an added weight and not a good sample to others. For example, there are certain favorite words or phrases which we use repeatedly in our daily conversation which are nonessential and which clutter up our speech and distract from the point we are trying to make. Most of them could be omitted entirely without replacement, and some could be replaced with a more interesting and more precise word. Check yourself to see if you overuse any of the following: really (that one's a favorite), super, just, like, well, so, I think, I mean, uhh, actually, quite, okay, you know, I just want to say.
         14. There is nothing wrong with using these words once in a while. However, it's when you start overusing them that you give the impression that your vocabulary is inadequate, or what you have to say is not important and needs to be propped up with all kinds of superfluous wordings. Start watching out for the word "really." When you write a letter, go back and see how many of those you could eliminate without changing the meaning one iota.
         15. There are times when we use words that we would like modified to show the degree either of size or intensity or weight or feeling. Sometimes it's not enough to say, "It's cold," you want to show how cold, and then it would be perfectly legitimate to say, "It's really cold," or, "It's very cold," or, "It's extremely cold." Or, when it's not enough to say, "I feel sick," then you need to say, "I feel really sick," or, "I feel very sick." Or, "I feel quite sick." You may want to say more than, "You're pretty." So you say, "You're really pretty." But even here, how about putting a little variety in your speech by saying, "You're very pretty!" If you are going to say, "It's really a tough situation to be in," instead say, "It's certainly a tough situation to be in." Or, "It is definitely a tough situation to be in." Or, "It's surely a tough situation to be in," or, "It's an extremely tough situation to be in."

How to Start!
         16. So here's a new assignment: See how many words you can eliminate from your conversations that are unneeded, and how many words you use frequently that you could replace with other words. Why not get a thesaurus and learn some substitutes--some synonyms? Have a challenging time working on your language skills, cleaning up the clutter and making what you say more precise and interesting. You don't have to be complicated, you don't have to use big words. Your speech can be simple, yet clear and interesting. Look at how simply Jesus spoke, yet with what power He moved the world!
         17. Regardless of what other Christians do, our prayers need to be good examples of clear, confident communication that highlights our link to Heaven rather than emphasizing strange speech habits. We pray a lot with outsiders who are not churchy and not Christians. It bothers me and it grates on me when I hear so much repetition, so I'm sure it certainly must bother people who aren't used to prayer at all. Prayer itself is foreign to the unsaved, and if they hear prayer with so much repetition, it may turn them off more than it may help them.
         18. Trying to eliminate some "Lord's" and "Jesus's" from our prayers may be very difficult, because it's become such a habit, and in order to break that habit we will have to initially think about every sentence we say in our prayers. And that's too bad, because it may take away from the spirit or spontaneity a bit, at first. You can't just abandon yourself to the Lord and think about Him and pour out your heart to Him if you're having to think about consciously overcoming your bad habit!
         19. It doesn't matter a bit to the Lord or to us what you say or how you say it, if you love Jesus and are sincerely trying to communicate with Him. But your prayers aren't just for the Lord and the Family; the Lord wants them to be a help to outsiders also. In order to do that effectively, you are going to have to ask the Lord to help you to overcome this.
         20. May the Lord help each of us to make an effort to be a good sample to those to whom we witness and to each other. And may He help us to make our communication with Him attractive and appealing so that others will want to have the same close, intimate communication with a loving Father through His Son, Jesus.


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