TEEN MATURITY!   Maria #201 DO 2866 4/93
--By Maria

         1. In most matters we can put you young adults on an equal status with our older adults. In sexual matters, however, we have to make a distinction because of your age.
         2. There is another thing which distinguishes you young adults from the older adults: While in many cases you may have had as much training in some ministries as the older adults, and may even know the Word better than a lot of them do, there's something very important that the older adults possess that can only be gained through time spent as an adult. It's experience, or the time spent learning to apply your knowledge wisely in the solving of life's daily problems. This experience results in maturity. Maturity is a little hard to define. The dictionary says it means "a characteristic of full development, either physically or mentally; fully ripe or full grown."
         3. You know what someone is like when they are physically mature, or fully developed physically. But what are they like when they're spiritually mature or fully developed spiritually?--This is something which comes through experience, and can be acquired in no other way than through the passage of time. It's the combination of taking responsibility for yourself and others, and learning through these situations the best way to conduct yourself and treat others. You learn to be wise and accurate in your judgments of people and situations, to be balanced in your opinions, and slow and steady in your judgments. You learn that there is usually more than meets the eye in most situations.
         4. Probably the best and most simple definition of maturity is wisdom.--Wisdom in your general outlook, your attitudes and your interaction with others. You may say, "Well, I can pray for instant wisdom in one of my jobs and the Lord will give it to me." Yes, that's true. But wisdom in your overall behavior, in your attitudes, in the way you look at life, in the way you see situations and people, this all takes years to acquire and is accumulated little by little as you seek for answers in the Word and learn from the experience and wisdom of those who have gone before you.
         5. Maturity is not just an automatic result of carrying adult responsibilities for a given length of time, because, as I'm sure you have observed, some older adults still lack in maturity. We all have our different strengths and weaknesses, as well as personality traits, and no adult is perfectly mature in every area of their life.
         6. Maturity is a combination of things. It is not only the result of training or experience in handling responsibility, but also of knowledge and understanding of the Word, as well as yieldedness and obedience to the Word, prayerfulness and dependence on the Lord, and being led by the spirit of the law and not bound by the letter of the law. You may have some of these qualities already and be on your way to becoming mature, but maturity is a long process which involves many things and takes much time.
         7. Years of experience, which can result in maturity, if you learn your lessons well, bring a greater understanding and wisdom about life in general. Experience is not something that you gain just by being trained in a ministry or by reading and knowing what the Word says. It comes from years of interaction with people, years of handling different situations, years of activity through which firsthand knowledge or skill is developed. We usually consider someone to be mature when they have not only experienced all of the above, but have combined that experience with an understanding of God's Word and how He operates and works in human affairs, and are able to rightly divide His Word and apply it to life and its problems in order to come up with workable solutions.
         8. You may wonder, what is the difference between training and experience? According to the dictionary, training is defined as: "Instruction or education in something to make one proficient or qualified in that thing; to undergo a course of instruction." Experience is defined as: "Actual participation in or direct contact with something; knowledge or skill derived from actual participation." The clinical training, which most of you teens have received, also involves a certain amount of experience.
         9. So you may already have some degree of experience and maturity which will increase as time goes on. Most adults, by virtue of their time spent carrying heavy responsibilities, will have a much greater degree of maturity, or wisdom.
         10. There are various degrees and levels of maturity. Although the dictionary's definition of maturity is "fully developed," the kind of maturity I'm referring to here is something that you gain as you grow in the Lord.
         11. So we can certainly expect you teens to have a degree of maturity by reason of all of the training and experience you've had in the Family. You have a certain degree of maturity, and you can definitely be mature in certain areas, even though you're perhaps not so mature in others. Even some of our JETTs can be spiritually mature in certain ways. But in most cases the degree of maturity you teens and young adults have doesn't really compare with the maturity of most of our older adults, who have had far more experience than you have, and through trial and error have gained a lot of wisdom.

Despite Teens' Lack of Experience, It's Time to Treat Them Like Adults!

         12. In light of this, it's far too easy for us adults to say, "That's exactly why we can't treat the teens like adults, because they're just not mature or experienced enough!" I understand that it's a strong temptation to use this as a loophole or justification to not give the teens greater responsibilities. And if you teens put yourselves in the adults' shoes, I'm sure you can appreciate the dilemma they're facing. I believe the solution, adults, is to start treating your young people like adults anyway.--But understand that they still need and want a little extra undomineering supervision, a little extra counsel and extra explanations. They need the benefit of your experience, of your wisdom.
         13. You teens often don't understand the background of things; you don't realize why some things have to move slowly, why they can't be done all at once. In your zeal and enthusiasm, you feel like you could get so much more accomplished, and in some areas you may be right. However, because of years of experience, the adults have learned there are many things that take great patience and time to accomplish. And this is part of maturity.--Seeing not just one part of the picture, but being able to see the overall situation, seeing how every part affects the whole, and every aspect of a situation is important and must be considered.
         14. Of course you're going to make mistakes, but your elders will be there to catch you and help you and encourage and support you. We can't just say, "You teens are not mature enough and that's why we have to treat you as children." In order to mature and become responsible, you have to be given responsibility. You have to mature through experience. So you adults must take that step of faith. And knowing that the teens are not mature yet, you must help them along and guide them and support them, but not smother them. You've got to give them adult responsibilities and you've got to treat them like adults, except you've got to be there to support them and help them if they have questions or problems.

Distinction Between Young Adults and Older Adults

         15. So I think we have to make a bit of a distinction about this both for you adults' sake and you teens' sake. Although we are going to consider you officially adults when you reach the age of 18, you are young adults, and because of this, most of you probably aren't as mature as the older adults, and you still have a lot to learn.
         16. There are many instances in society where young adults are given responsibility, despite the fact that they're lacking in experience. But they're usually given that responsibility while older, more experienced people work right alongside of them. For example, someone may graduate from a military academy, and they may be an officer, but they start off as a "junior officer," until they receive sufficient training and experience under different senior officers. The same is true of a young graduate from medical school; he may be fully trained as a doctor, but he serves as an intern in a hospital, gaining valuable experience, before he's allowed to strike out on his own and start his own medical practice. The same with lawyers; when they graduate and begin their careers, they're usually known as "junior members" in the law firm, working under and gaining experience from the more seasoned senior members, before working their way up to junior partners or even senior partners.

Working Together, "Side by Side"!

         17. It's completely understandable that you young adults are still going to make some mistakes just in the course of growing up and learning the ropes, and we expect that. You are still going to need help and training and shepherding from our older adults. If you're working together closely with the older adults, any mistakes you make can be quickly corrected and any damage minimized or remedied. This is far better than having everybody just go off on their own, making whatever mistakes they want to.
         18. You teens will now, God willing, be getting some of the freedom you want, but if you don't follow the rules and the guidelines, and don't do a good job, then you can't complain if you get some stricter supervision for a while. Of course, if and when that happens, you adults will then have to re-evaluate the situation and loosen your grasp as soon as the situation has been remedied or the teen has learned what he needs to learn. Then you can let him take the lead in his responsibilities once again without so much direct supervision from you.
         19. Together, adults and teens, you can make a wonderful team for the Lord. The adults have the maturity--the wisdom and the experience--the understanding and patience, and you teens have the freshness and the vision, the inspiration and the enthusiasm, the courage, the energy, the strong spirit to forge ahead unafraid and unstopped by anything in your way. If we appreciate each other's qualities and characteristics and the place that the Lord has given each of us, together we can accomplish the great work that the Lord has in store for us. We need each other, and most of all we need the Lord, so let's operate in love and harmony so we can sincerely and wholeheartedly work together, side by side! Amen? Praise the Lord! I love you!


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