THE "PER!"
Maria #200 DO 2865 3/93
"Personal Encouragement Revolution" (Or "Purr")!--By Maria
(We would like to ask all of you young people to keep in mind that in most instances where the term "teens" is used in the text, it includes JETTs, junior teens, senior teens and EAs. [Now YAs. Up until this time the term EAs was used, and you will find it in the first part of this Letter.] It's not that we consider you all the same, but to list all the age classifications repeatedly would take a lot more time and space to spell out than simply saying "teens.")
Dear EAs, Teens and JETTs,
1. Grandpa and I love you and are proud of you! We think you're the greatest teens on Earth! In fact, we know you are! The Lord has said it, and we believe it! We can see it! Maybe you're looking at yourself right now and thinking, "Mama Maria certainly isn't talking about me! I'm so discouraged with myself and so fed up, and I'm not being a blessing to anybody!" If that's what you're thinking, you're wrong! I am talking about you!
2. No matter how weak you may feel, no matter how discouraged you may be, no matter what you've failed at lately, the Lord sees beyond all that, and when He looks at you, He sees a very precious member of His royal Family; a prince or princess standing with Him in the royal courts, shining and glowing and radiant with love and wisdom and Word and all His great wealth at your disposal.
3. You may say, "That all sounds well and good, and I'm glad the Lord sees me that way, but when am I going to get a chance to put all this wonderful Word and wisdom and power that the Lord has given me to use? Things don't look very promising now--just doing my studying, taking care of kids, working in the kitchen, being bossed around by my parents and other adults. And everybody says, `Be patient. Don't worry, the time is coming.' Well, if this really is the Endtime and we don't get to do something soon, we're going to miss it!"
4. Take my word for it, you can't possibly miss it because the Lord is going to make sure you don't! He needs you and you're going to be some of His key witnesses, and He's constantly watching over you with great care and love, and has His eye on you every moment to see how you're growing and how you're responding to His love. When you get impatient, think about the many examples in the Bible of those whom the Lord required to wait, and when you read about their trials and their very lengthy waiting periods, you'll see that yours is nothing by comparison.
5. Of course, we know that the Lord has got to prepare you quickly because He doesn't have years and years to work on you, and when the Lord has to do things quickly, sometimes they hurt a little more and you have to learn many lessons at once and it can be a lot rougher. But the Lord knows you're made of the right stuff and He can do what is needed with you and you'll survive it because you love Him so much, and because you know His Word, which makes you strong. "I have written unto you, young men (and women), because ye are strong, and the Word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the Wicked One" (1Jn.2:14).
6. All the rough things you've endured in your life, even all the trials you may be going through right now, are part of His plan to teach you patience and faith and yieldedness and obedience for your very big job ahead. Now don't misunderstand me, you have a very big job right now and you are already a very important part of this Family and of God's Kingdom. Even by your birth into this Family and by your growing up and being tenderly raised by those who love you, you have very much contributed to making the Family what it is. You have helped to make those who raised you unselfish and sacrificial and loving and mature as they have learned to care for the many children that God has given us. As you have grown up, you have also helped to make the Family what it is by playing such an important part in loving and teaching your younger brothers and sisters, and in witnessing to thousands and winning them to Jesus.
7. In addition, many times you have been the catalyst for change in the Family. Many changes we have had in the Family have been because of you, to try to make it better for you. And now you're ready for the next step that the Lord has for you, in which you're going to be given greater responsibilities and start playing a prominent role in the direction the Family is going.
8. As you grow into adulthood, you continue to change and your needs become different than when you were younger. And you need the Family to change with you, to support you in the changes you're going through, and to understand these changes. This, by God's grace, is what we want to do. We want to do all we can to make it easy for you to be good so that you can do the job that God is preparing you for.
9. At the beginning of the Fast this year, we sent you the following message:
Message to All Family Teens and EAs from Mama Maria--10/02/93
Dear Teens and EAs,
Grandpa and I love you very much and treasure each one of you! Each of you is important to us. We want you to be happy and fulfilled in your service to the Lord, and if you are not, we want to do all we can to help you. It's not that we can eliminate all of your trials and tests and difficulties!--The Lord allows some of these to make you strong and help you to be touched with the feelings of others' infirmities (Heb.4:15). However, we realize that there are some changes that could be made in your situations that would make it easier for you and help you to be happier and more challenged and more fruitful in your work for Jesus. Therefore we are going to do all we can to help you. To this end, we are counseling with some of you and asking you for your opinions and ideas on any changes that you feel need to be made in Family structure, policies, rules, teen and EA shepherding and the fulfilling of your needs, etc.
We are asking your Home teamwork to set aside a time period on the third day of the Fast for you teens and EAs to have prayer together. We would like to request that you pray especially for yourself and your fellow teens and EAs worldwide, as well as the adults, and also Grandpa and me and your leadership.--That we can all work together to solve the problems that may be burdening and worrying you, and that we can bring about any necessary changes. So will you please have desperate prayer for this? Please also pray that the Lord will give you the conviction and strength to hold on to Him through any tough times you may be experiencing, to not let go of your crown and to pass the test of patience, endurance and faith.
You may think you're very weak and can't make it, but the Lord has told us that you're actually very strong in the Spirit and He's proud of you!--But you have need of patience to just keep on believing and trusting Him, and doing His will, and then He says you will "receive the promise" (Heb.10:36). And Grandpa and I are promising you here, by God's grace, that we're going to make some changes, God willing, that will make you happier and more challenged, and help you to do an even better job for Jesus! So keep hanging in there, and don't give up! Help is on the way! We love you!
Love, Mama Maria
Teens Share Their Hearts!
10. Since we sent you this message, we have been very busy hearing from many of you. We asked our top leaders in every part of the world to meet with as many of you teens and EAs as possible, and to ask you some or all of the following questions, and to send us back your answers:
What changes do you feel need to be made either in your Home situation or the Family as a whole?
What do you think adults don't understand so well about teens that you would like them to be able to understand?
What would you like the adults to know about your needs, interests, concerns, fears and goals?
What trials do you or other teens have, and what do you think might be the solutions to them?
11. We believe the several hundred teens and EAs who pow-wowed the above questions were good representatives of all of you teens, and that they pretty much expressed the same things that you would have if you had been there. And to you who participated in these pow-wows, I have personally heard the notes from each of you that were passed on from the various pow-wows and open forum discussions, and we have been prayerfully considering all of the things that you have mentioned. We thank you very much for opening up your hearts and honestly expressing your deepest feelings and desires and needs. We want to continue to do all we can to make the Family a better place for you and for all our Family members.
Mama's Call to Teens for Their Help!
12. This is a very exciting time for the Family! You teens have been instrumental in helping us to bring to birth a new revolution that will be good for the entire Family. In this Letter we are going to explain to the adults, and also further to you, some of your concerns and what we can do to make things better for you, as well as for every one of our precious Family members. We will probably be telling the adults some things about you that some of them have not fully realized and understood before, but because they love you very much, we know that they will make an effort to see things through your eyes and try to help make the needed changes.
13. While the adults may need to make more changes in their habits and attitudes than you teens, there is also something very important that you can do. We'd like to be able to count on you to support the adults all you can. You may not have to be making as many changes as the adults, but we do have one very important thing that we'd like to ask you to do: We would like to be able to count on you to support the adults all you can and to make it as easy as possible for them to change. We would like to be able to count on you not to say to each other behind closed doors, "We knew it!" or to the adults, "We told you so!" but instead, "What can we do to help you?" So can we count on you teens to respond to this new challenge by encouraging your elders as they try to work together with you to make the Family a better place for everyone, and as they help you to do a better job for Jesus?
14. Can we count on you for this? Can the Lord count on you? Can He count on you not to get disrespectful or disobedient or unyielded or rebellious or take advantage of the new, more responsible position that you are being offered in the Family, and not use your position as license to go wild and to the extreme in your behavior and actions?--Which would not be befitting or becoming to God's royal young people. The Lord is going to be testing you to see if you can be trusted with responsibility and authority and freedom. And how you handle what you are given will determine if you can be given more. So can the Lord count on you to forgive and not to condemn, to heal and not to hurt, to be thankful for what is ahead and not to murmur about what has gone before?
15. Your parents and teachers haven't been perfect, but they've been better than any other parents and teachers in the whole world, so you certainly can forgive them for their small mistakes, as they have many many times forgiven you for yours (Eph.4:32). Remember, without your wonderful parents and teachers and shepherds and overseers who have sacrificed and literally given up their lives for you, you wouldn't be the Heavens' Girls and Boys that the Lord knows you are today--strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, filled with His Word and wisdom.
16. It's just that now that you're growing up and becoming adults yourselves, our wonderful Family adults and teachers are going to have to make some changes in the way they look at you and the way they treat you and the way they work with you. But our adults are wonderful, and they have made many changes in their lives for the Lord and have been through many revolutions, and we know that they will be happy to make further changes if doing so will help you, our precious young people. So thank them and love them and appreciate them and encourage them, because that's what this whole thing is about, it's an encouragement revolution! And at the same time that they will be encouraging you, you are going to have to be encouraging them, and we're all going to encourage each other!
The "PER!"
17. I've been talking a lot about changes, and you're probably sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what in the world these changes are going to be. I'm sure you're familiar with our little song that says, "Change the world with love," and that's what this revolution is all about, to change our Family with love and with encouragement. Yes, we've already got love and we've already got encouragement, but we can stand an awful lot more, and this is what we're going to try to emphasize, and this is going to be the basis and reason for the changes we are going to make. Everyone can have a part through giving encouragement. If you can't do anything else, you can make it your job to love and hug and appreciate and encourage and praise and pray for every dear Family member that you live and work with.
18. Do you like the idea of calling this revolution the "PER" (Personal Encouragement Revolution)?--Which should result in a big "P-U-R-R" from all of us who will be so much happier and more content with so much encouragement from everyone! In English, the sound that a kitty makes when it's all curled up in your lap and being petted is called a "purr," and it shows that the kitty is happy and satisfied because he's receiving love and encouragement. Even an engine is sometimes said to be "purring" when it sounds like it's running in perfect condition, and it is running very smoothly without any knocking, misfiring or grinding.
19. So much of what we want to accomplish in this new push falls under the category of encouragement: We want to appreciate more, listen more, love more, have more affection, pay more attention, give more respect, put more trust in people.--Everything we can do to make people feel happier, more contented and more challenged, and all of this is part of encouragement.
20. Of course, one of the best ways to encourage others is with the Word. And if you adults start encouraging the teens more the way I've described above, then you will not only be giving them the "sermon" of the Word, but the sample as well, "the Word made flesh." Putting the PER into effect will be showing them a sample of the Word, of how the Word should be applied and how the Word should be carried out.
21. The Lord wants us to be happy, He wants us to be content. He's not trying to make it hard for us or make us suffer unnecessarily. And that should be our attitude with everyone we work with: To do all we can to make them happy, so they will love living for the Lord and so they will be able to do a better job for Him.
22. Our whole goal in this Revolution is going to be to encourage folks by helping to lift any heavy burdens of condemnation and discouragement or too many rules, and the lack of respect, lack of appreciation, lack of understanding, lack of being Spirit-led or lack of affection.
23. Since you teens were the main inspiration for this Personal Encouragement Revolution and since you have helped to bring it about, we will mainly be addressing you in the following points. However, whatever we do to benefit you teens will benefit the entire Family. In making the Family a better place for you, we will be making it a better place for us all. In learning how to better understand and relate to you teens, we will become more understanding, more considerate, more loving with everyone, and we hope you teens will do the same with your elders as well as those younger than you. One of the main reasons we decided to emphasize encouragement in this revolution is because we found when talking with you teens that some of you have become quite discouraged for various reasons.
Insights to Help Teens Understand Why Adults Are Often Reluctant to Let Teens Grow Up!
24. Dear adults, our teens are wonderful and most of them have been loving and understanding and very patient with us adults and parents, who with all good intentions have in many cases been treating them like children when they are rapidly changing and growing into adults themselves. But from all we've been able to gather, it seems like some of our teens just haven't known what to do about this and have therefore been becoming very discouraged.
25. Now teens, at the same time that we are trying to help your parents and guardians understand you and your needs and wishes, we want you to try to understand them, and just why it seems that they sometimes are slow to relinquish their strict control over you, to let you grow up. Here are some common reasons why this happens:
a) Parents (and guardians) in the Family or otherwise have the same problem: It's naturally difficult for them to see their children who have been so dependent upon them start becoming independent and growing away from them. It's hard for parents to let go. It's an emotional wrench.
b) Your elders, who have been in the System and know what it is like, with every good intention want to protect you from it, but often go overboard in doing this, becoming overly protective.
c) Your parents and other Family adults are often so concerned about security and wanting to protect the Family that they're sometimes afraid that because of your inexperience in dealing with and relating to the System, problems could arise which would highlight you and our Homes and endanger or hurt you and them.
d) Your parents and the other adults often do not realize that you are growing up. It's sometimes hard for them to see the lines of distinction between you and your younger brothers and sisters. It's not always easy for them to see how much you have changed and how you are becoming adults, and that they need to start treating you as such.
e) In trying so hard to be obedient to the Word, adults often make the mistake of being too strict on you teens and going too much by the letter of the law. Sometimes they're afraid to make mistakes, so they lean too much to the side of strictness or a letter of the law application, with not enough leniency.
f) Some adults, unfortunately, worry about losing their place and their responsibilities, and so are reluctant to move over to teach you, as they feel they will have to relinquish their responsibilities to you. This is a very normal concern. It happens at some time to all of us. No one is exempt from feeling threatened at some point that someone else might take their place.
g) Many of our adults have not learned how to adjust to teens moving into adulthood, because in their personal experience as teens growing up in the System, their parents were a very poor example of how to communicate with them and let them grow up.
h) Working with teens is a new experience for many adults; they've never done it before. So some feel intimidated by teens, not really knowing how to relate to them or guide or discipline them when necessary. Many adults find it particularly difficult to handle disrespectful or problematic teens, especially when they (the adults) don't feel competent, and thus the only way they feel secure is to exercise strict control over teens like they do with children.
i) The adults may not have had enough time to talk to you to understand the needs you have, since they are involved in so many things, such as many other children, ministries, outreach responsibilities, etc. You have helped them so much in these areas that they may not have realized your need to move forward and grow in other areas.
j) It's hard for your elders to see you, who they love dearly, make mistakes, so it's difficult for them not to step in and take control to help you.
k) In many cases your Homes have become so dependent on your help in your particular ministries that it's difficult to make time to either train you in new ministries or let you move on to other responsibilities.
26. Adults, one of the first things that we have to do is to start seeing our teens in a new light, start looking at them as the princes and princesses that they have become, that the Lord through Dad promised that they would be. Now is the time; we've got to loose them and let them go free. We've got to start seeing them as responsible, and capable of doing great things for the Lord! We've got to start seeing them as God sees them! We've got to start talking to them and treating them as co-laborers in the Lord, potentially as capable as we are of doing great things for Him.
27. As Dad said in his recent Letter, "If you've trained them well, then you should be able to step back and let them do it--just keeping an eye on them, of course, and being there if they need your help. Let's stop treating our older teens and EAs like children, when they're in many cases just as capable and responsible as our older people. They want to grow up!--Let's let them! We need to think of what we were doing when we were their age, and loosen up a little and let them burn free. God bless'm!" ("Teaching the Children Dream," ML #2845:26).
How the Lord Looks on You Teens!
28. A few weeks ago I was praying about you teens and I was thinking, "But Lord, sometimes they seem so weak. How are they going to get from this point to being the great, flaming witnesses for You that You have predicted they are going to be?" And the Lord spoke very clearly to my heart and said,
29. "You call them weak, but I call them strong. You see their weaknesses, but I see their strengths. You don't see them as I see them because you look on the outward appearance, but I look on the heart. The forces that fight them are so very strong. So when they can stand at all, they are giants!"
30. It's like we've seen you much more in the flesh and we've looked at all your NWOs and all your weaknesses and all your questions, and we've compared you with ourselves and our years of experience and our greater stability and the wisdom the Lord has given us, and you've looked very weak and hardly able to make it sometimes. But we haven't realized that the spiritual forces fighting you are fighting more powerfully than they have ever fought before. You are now in the boxing ring with the heavyweight champion of the world, so to speak, and his terrible strength and might is greater than ever before in history. But despite his power and despite his might and despite his blows, you are managing to hold your own against him! We've also compared you with ourselves, as adults, and even perhaps with us when we were teens in the Family and how strong we seemed and how much we accomplished.
31. But apparently God doesn't compare like that. He looks on how well you teens stand up to the mighty forces of evil that are fighting to try to destroy you and tear you down today, and He sees with what strength and ferocity you are fighting the Enemy, attempting to hold your own, and thank God, most of you are doing it! You may be pretty battered and beaten, but you're still there and you're still standing and you're still fighting.
32. It's like David and Goliath: You teens, like little David, turn out to be bigger giants spiritually than the giant, stronger in spirit and more powerful than the forces that are fighting you. God bless you! We believe that the Enemy is fighting you more strongly than he has ever fought anyone because of the great things the Lord has in store for you and the way He wants to use you, and because the Enemy is full of rage, knowing his time is short.
33. However, this picture the Lord showed me of you teens does not mean that you are sufficient in yourselves to where you don't need any more training and you don't need our help. You know that better than anyone. You've expressed repeatedly that you want supervision, you want training, you want the adults' help, but you just wish they wouldn't smother you, wouldn't be so protective, so possessive, so authoritative.
34. Do you adults want to help? We need your help and cooperation to make the PER work. The teens' part is to express and pray for their needs and make it as easy for you adults to help them as possible, and the part of you adults is to see what you can do to help supply those needs.
Voice Your Needs but Avoid Murmuring!
35. When you teens are asked for your suggestions and your comments, as many of you were asked in pow-wows with your shepherds recently, of course we expect you to be honest, and we don't consider that murmuring or complaining. However, if you then go back to your peers and privately sit down and decide to talk further about these things, what is your motivation? What is the purpose? Maybe you didn't say everything that was on your heart at the pow-wow, but you decide to continue getting out all your gripes and complaints and maybe a lot worse things that you didn't say previously to the adults in the pow-wow.
36. But then let's say one of the other teens does the same, and he tells you all of his doubts and complaints and gripes and how he feels, that he didn't get the ministry that he really wanted or he didn't get to go witnessing enough, or he feels his teacher was unfair in a correction given to him, etc. Then perhaps another of the teens hearing all of this speaks up and starts voicing all of his complaints as well.
37. Pretty soon, you not only have your set of complaints, but John's set of complaints and Mary's set of complaints, Sally's set of complaints, and everyone's complaints heaped up in one big pile that certainly looks like a mountain! Then you've got all of this negative garbage all stacked up in one big pile with no antidote, nothing to help clear it away and clean it up. You don't have your shepherds to counsel with and to help you attack those things that are bothering you and to explain things that you haven't understood, and to try to help you through your trials. Instead you only have opened yourself up to the Devil and his voice, and you've shut yourself off to any input from the Lord, so no wonder you get confused and rebellious and critical and very very unhappy. You have gone against His Scriptural command that says, "Neither murmur ye..." (1Cor.10:10).
38. You see, in the pow-wows, when you were asked by your leadership, upon my request, to help us to see what we could do to help you, there was nothing wrong with your speaking up and opening your heart and bringing up these issues. In fact, it was the right thing to do. But to then go and murmur amongst yourselves with no good reason or purpose will certainly not bear good fruit. In fact, some of our poor kids who did this very thing got themselves into quite a mess! If they could have just been patient and held on, we were trying to help them and trying to do something to remedy their situation. But instead they went and tried to take all their problems into their own hands and react to them in the flesh, which just didn't work or help matters at all!
Changes Often Take Time, So Be Patient!
39. The Family is the best place in the world to be; we're just trying to make the best even better. Grandpa says if you stop changing, you die, so change is good for us. It keeps us on our toes and keeps us looking to see what we can do to improve things. Just remember, teens, that sometimes changes, especially for a very large worldwide Family, take time.
40. If it takes time for God to make a flower, think of the time it takes Him to make a tree. Think of how long it takes Him to make a family, especially a large worldwide Endtime Family like ours. And for that Family to grow and to change takes time too. Important changes in a worldwide work which affect every member of our Homes and our ministries and our schedules and our witnessing and everything, are going to take some time. Besides all that's involved in prayerfully putting these new changes into effect, remember it also takes time for people's old habits to change into new ones, and for their past attitudes to reflect new ways of thinking.
41. So what you should look for is any sign of change, and be so thankful for what is happening, and not look at all that hasn't happened yet. Try to promise Grandpa and me before God that you will thank Him for the little changes that you can see, and not be murmuring and unthankful because of all the things that haven't happened yet that we said should happen. If I'm willing to wait and be patient, will you be willing too? Will you join me in praying this thing through and helping it to happen by your cheerfulness, your thankfulness, your willingness to be sweet and kind and loving and forgiving and merciful? The adults have put up with a lot from you for many years now, and they've seen you through many difficult times. They've been patient with you; can you now be patient with them?
Teens, Show You Can be Trusted!
42. You see, if Grandpa and I ask the adults to please treat you more like adults and give you more responsibility and more authority and more freedom, and then you rebel and you murmur and you complain and you go further than you should, then you are going to make it look as if Grandpa and I were wrong. Then the adults are going to be tempted to say, "See, our teens can't be trusted after all, so we'll have to really crack down on them, because they're just creating chaos!" So can you help to prove us right? Can you help to prove that we can give you more responsibility and we can give you more authority and we can treat you like co-workers and we can give you more freedoms and we can give you less rules, and you will respond maturely and responsibly and wisely and lovingly and patiently?
43. When Grandpa declared the RNR in 1978, when many of the rules the Family had been following were lifted and they were liberated from their former "Chain" leadership, a lot of Family members got so carried away with their new freedoms that they made a lot of serious mistakes and neglected and hurt the Lord's work.--Not because Grandpa was wrong in declaring the RNR, but because they weren't mature or responsible enough to keep their eyes on the Lord and their hearts fixed on the goal of reaching the world with the Lord's message and the lost with Salvation!
44. Of course, I realize you're going to make mistakes as you are given new responsibilities and freedoms. That's to be expected. I'm sure the adults are going to be patient with you and understanding when you fall, and they will do their best to help you back up again. But I'm asking you to take the PER responsibly and respond maturely, proving that you indeed can be treated like adults. Can you fulfill the scripture, "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity"? (1Tim.4:12). I believe that you can, and that you will. We're counting on you!
45. And if you don't want the adults to talk down to you, but you want them to trust you, to give you more responsibility and authority, you are going to have to do your part. Just remember, it's not all the adults' fault that your communication and unity is less than perfect. We're just emphasizing the adults' part in this Letter because we believe there are many things they don't understand. However, we're pretty sure you teens know how you should be acting towards the adults, but it's just difficult for you when they respond to you in certain ways. But now, when the adults try to change and respond to you as co-workers and teamworkers, you are going to have to, in good faith, live up to their expectations and do all you can to act like the adults that you are wanting them to treat you as.
46. And if the adults don't immediately start treating you the way you think you should be treated, according to these pubs, please do not be disrespectful, do not be mean, but pray for them and try to be patient. You know how long it takes you to overcome old habits and attitudes. So give the adults a break and give them some time. Don't expect them ever to be perfect. They may be somewhat legalistic in their treatment of you, but you teens are plenty legalistic yourselves and expect a very high standard from people, which maybe you don't even come up to yourselves.
47. If you want to be treated respectfully and responsibly by the adults, then it is your responsibility and job to treat those under you the same way. We've heard quite a few reports of teens who have complained about adults not treating them properly, but at the same time they've turned around and treated the younger teens and JETTs in their care very badly, often being a very poor sample to them, while demanding their respect and yieldedness and obedience, etc. You don't want to be like the unmerciful servant who received so much mercy and understanding and forgiveness from his master, but then turned around and was extremely unmerciful to his fellow servant. (See Mat. 18:21-35.) All of us--adults, teens, JETTs and all--need to learn to be more loving and understanding with others, amen? If you're given more responsibility and are shepherding others, will you be the loving and kind sample that you wish others were with you? "Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock" (1Pet.5:3).
Areas Where Teens Feel Change Is Needed:
48. Following are the major areas where the teens we polled felt there were some problems that needed changing:
a) Probably the very biggest request of the older teens and EAs is, "Please don't treat us like children any more. Please let us grow up. Please respect us more; please trust us more; please listen to us more; please appreciate us more. Please take our suggestions and give us more choice in matters that have to do with us. Please don't talk down to us and constantly nag us for all of our mistakes." The teens were quick to add that they work with many adults that they can communicate well with and who understand them and treat them as friends and co-workers, but there are others in almost every Home who don't understand that they are growing up and need to be treated as responsible young adults.
b) The teens would like to eliminate meaningless rules, and to apply the legitimate ones less legalistically.
c) They would like more prayerful, Spirit-led application of the Word without such legalistic interpretations that don't allow for much freedom of the Spirit. For example, when a teen has a problem, we should not immediately assume that their situation is exactly like Tony's was or exactly like Techi's was, etc.
d) The teens would like more witnessing and more freedom to be Spirit-led in how they witness to others.
e) They would like more choice and authority in their ministries.
f) They would like more choice in Home matters.
g) They would like more freedom in their relationships and more affection.
h) They would like more music.
i) They would like more fun and inspiration, including more inspired devotions or teen fellowships or faith trips.
j) They would like to see fewer double standards in the Homes.
Letting Our Teens Grow Up!
49. So what are the solutions to all of these problems?--The biggest of which seems to be our teens' desire for us to just let them grow up and to not treat them like children any more. In the following paragraphs we are going to suggest some solutions which will hopefully specifically encourage our teens and help us all to be happier and do a better job for Jesus.
50. Lest you adults get the idea that we're just letting the young people take over the Family now and "letting our children rule over us," we would like to say that we don't believe that we are compromising the Family standard in any way by listening to our youth and by receiving their suggestions, and by doing something about their legitimate concerns. We feel that all of the things that they have mentioned that we have listed here are issues that need to be addressed, and that doing so will not only help our teens to do a better job for the Lord, but will help us all learn and grow and be more Spirit-led and more understanding in our communication and relationships with others. (The Light Club was run by teens!--D.)
51. In fact, we've already begun to make changes to make things easier for our young people. In the "Loving Shepherding" FSM series, we've suggested that you get a regular Word and rest day, we've cut down your OHR requirements to just one per week, as well as cutting back on the other reports that were required of you. (Update: Under the Charter, OHRs are no longer required, though still recommended.) There have also been cutbacks in your formal scholastic requirements, with increased witnessing and specific time allotted for vocational/ministry study. The Affection Revolution is also hopefully causing your Homes to be more loving, with everyone showing more affection and appreciation.
More Specific PER Changes:
52. Besides the changes which have already been introduced, following is a list of other changes we would like to see implemented as solutions to concerns you teens have expressed, as well as for the benefit of the whole Family.
No More "Experimental Adults"!
You're Now "Young Adults" (YAs)!
53. As Dad has said, a name is very important. What people call you helps to define how they treat you. When the name Experimental Adults was originally given to our 18- to 21-year-olds, it seemed a fitting name, as we hadn't had much experience with that age group, and all of us, both adults and EAs, were experimenting with how to treat that age group. However, the experiment is now over and we realize that you are young adults and need to be treated as such. So from now on you should be referred to and treated as "Young Adults."--And the only difference between you and our other adults is that you are under 21 years old, which means that there are some restrictions concerning who you can share with sexually. Other than that, you are entitled to all the same rights and privileges as our adults who are over 21 years of age.
54. A related point for all of you Young Adults is that once you're 18 years old you may drop the title of "Auntie" and "Uncle" that you have used with the adults.
Free Access to MO Letters for Junior Teens on up!
55. Because the Word is our foundation and the key to our spiritual strength and happiness, it needs to be made easily accessible to all. For this to happen, we need to take the Family pubs out from behind locked doors and put them where Home members can have easy access to them, without having to hunt down the key to the lit trunk. Let's "Roll the Gold!" and make it available for all! We have nothing to hide! From this point on, senior teens on up will be allowed to read all Family lit in the Home library. They can have complete freedom to read any Family lit they want to read, unless specifically designated as being for ages 18 and up only. Junior teens will be allowed to read all Family lit except that which is specifically designated as being for those over 16. They are to be allowed to visit the lit cabinet and will be free to choose their reading material on their own.
YAs on Home Teamworks!
56. Most of our Young Adults have been in the Family for at least 18 years, which is longer than many of our older adults. They have had the Word and the Family principles poured into them since birth, and we feel it's now time to allow them to use all that they have learned, to put them in the position to apply their training. Although we older adults have certain experiences that our Young Adults haven't had, they have had a major experience which we have not undergone; they have grown up in the Family!--And because of this they have a great understanding of how our Family children and teens see things. They understand their needs, desires, frustrations, etc., even better than we do, because they've experienced them.
57. If the PER is anything, it's a concerted effort to encourage our teens by trying to understand the needs and desires of our youth and do something about them. Who better can help us accomplish that than those who have the experience, our Young Adults? Therefore, in order to help us to better care for our youth, we would like to suggest that when your Home holds its teamwork elections, any mature and responsible Young Adults could be considered for a place on the Home's teamwork, just as any older adult could be considered. (Although the election of a Young Adult to your Home teamwork is not mandatory, if you have competent Young Adults in your Home who could be trained in such responsibilities, we strongly suggest you consider this.) Any Young Adult elected by the Home would have equal authority with the other Home teamworkers.
Open Home Forums for All Adults, Young Adults and Senior Teens!--At least One Per Month!
58. In order to foster open communication in the Home among the adults and teens, and to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to express their feelings and to raise questions they feel need to be addressed, each Home should now hold at least one open forum discussion each month. All adults, YAs and senior teens (16 and 17) should participate, and each should feel the freedom to bring up any matters of concern on any subject they feel needs to be discussed, whether teen-related or not, such as finances, scheduling, personnel, witnessing, persecution preparation, etc.
Immediate Topics of Discussion for Forums!
59. Some subjects that will need to be addressed immediately in these forums are:
a) Ways to give the teens more choices in their ministries.
b) Giving teens more responsibility in their ministries and the authority to carry out that responsibility.
c) How the teens can be more involved in more witnessing activities. (Where applicable, special outreach teams and trips could be arranged with other nearby Homes or in conjunction with your area shepherds.)
d) Ways to have more inspired and feeding devotions. (Perhaps let the teens lead half of them.)
e) How to have more teen fellowships, within the Home or with other Homes.
f) How to make life in the Home more fun, challenging and inspiring.
g) How to do away with any double standard between adults and teens--ways that your Home members can all keep the same basic standard.
More Changes That Are in the Works!
60. The above changes should be made immediately as they don't require a lot of explanation via GNs, FSMs, etc. Following are a number of other changes that will be made. However, in order to do things "decently and in order" (1Cor.14:40), the changes below should not be implemented until some further explanation comes to you via soon-coming WS pubs. But I want to at least tell you what is ahead, trusting that you'll hold on until the pubs which give the full explanation are completed and mailed to you.
61. We will be publishing numerous articles and other material that will help you adults to understand teens better and communicate with them on a deeper level. These articles will have as their aim to help you adults treat the teens more as peers, as co-workers and teamworkers, helping them to grow into the men and women of God that they want to be and that we all want to see them become.
62. Each Home will need to review, discuss and evaluate your Home rules in order to decide together which ones are necessary and good for the Home, and which ones are "on the books" merely because they are a carryover from some bygone era or some different situation where you might have once needed them, whereas now things have changed and they're no longer really necessary or helpful.
63. You've recently received our Letters and articles on affection, which we're sure have already helped to promote a greater unity and communication and a feeling of more love and caring. We are presently working on some further material addressing teen relationships, dating and affection which we hope to send you soon, as well as some new Letters on the Law of Love to help you better understand our sexual beliefs.
64. As we explained during the Fast in our message to you teens, we are preparing a number of music tapes for your inspiration. In the meantime, I'd like to ask you to refrain from listening to System rock music, which as Grandpa has explained many times, is often spiritually poisonous and very dangerous to your spiritual well-being. (See the Christian Digest on rock music, "Hell's Bells!")
65. We are also working on ways to record and produce songs that you, our teens, write. The Lord has given many of you a real gift for songwriting, and we want to help you fine-tune your gift so that the songs you write will be the best they can be. (Update: Now a reality with the FTTs! Praise the Lord!)
66. We are asking the CROs to open at least one special witnessing Home in their area, where feasible, which will be manned and shepherded by Young Adults (and possibly senior teens). We hope that all the Young Adults in the CRO area will be able to take turns in this Home on a rotational basis.
67. We will be publishing ML reading lists and recommending that your Home hold pow-wows in order to help you apply the Word less legalistically.
68. We are also going to make a special effort to publish more HOPE Magazines than ever before on a variety of subjects, which we pray will be an inspiration and encouragement to all of you young people, JETTs on up.
69. In order to help with your ministry training, we are going to be trying to provide instructional videos on various subjects, D.V.
70. So, teens and adults, what do you think? Do you like this plan? Do you think we can all work together with the Lord's help to bring the PER to pass? Let's try it, shall we? I think we'll all like it! God bless you and keep you and make you an even greater blessing than ever before as you work together "side by side"!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family