MAMA'S CONFESSION!
--Sunday Fellowship Prayer for Mama & Paul Papers!
DO 2343          Maria No.88      8/87

         1. (MAMA PRAYS:) HELP US TO SURRENDER OUR ALL TO YOU, LORD, to yield every single place in our hearts to You, Lord, everything that You require, out of LOVE for You, because we LOVE You, Lord! It's not hard to give our all to You when we love You! Give us more love for You, Lord! In Jesus' name, help us to be obedient & to give You the love & honour that You deserve, Lord, the honour & obedience that You require, because You've given YOUR all for us, & how can we do any less for You?
         2. THANK YOU JESUS FOR OUR PRECIOUS FAMILY WHO LOVE YOU SO MUCH, WHO HAVE SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR YOU, LORD.--But it's NOT a sacrifice, Lord, because all these things that they've gone through & sacrificed are nothing compared to what You have done for us! Thank You Lord for them. Thank You for their love & their loyalty & their obedience to You, Lord, their dedication to You! Thank You Jesus for each one & what a wonderful blessing it is to have them with us & to have their help & their love & their obedience to You as co-workers in Your Kingdom & labourers in Your Vineyard.
         3. THANK YOU LORD FOR EACH ONE OF THEM & ALL THE THINGS THAT THEY MAY BE GOING THROUGH, THE TRIALS & THE BATTLES. We know it's just another step in their growth, Lord, in maturing, in gaining more knowledge & wisdom & the ability to "comfort OTHERS with the comfort wherewith THEY are comforted."--2Cor.1:4. TYJ! Thank You for each one, & help them to HOLD ON, Lord, & to really persevere, to look to You for the answers, knowing that You'll not fail & You'll give the answer, Lord. But You want them to trust You & to look to You & to have faith & to learn things along the way that they couldn't learn if You gave them an immediate answer, if You let up too early, Lord, if You rescued them prematurely.
         4. SO HELP THEM TO HOLD ON, HELP THEM TO EVEN DELIGHT IN THESE AFFLICTIONS, THESE ADVERSITIES, these tests that they have, to know that they're for their GOOD, & that You won't let anything happen to them that You're not going to bring something very special out of it & something good that will be good for them & good for Your Work, good for Your Kingdom, Lord, & good for others as well.
         5. THANK YOU JESUS FOR EACH ONE, FOR THEIR PRECIOUS HELP, THEIR PRECIOUS LOVE! We know that You've blessed them & You'll continue to bless them as they hold on & they persevere & they give You their ALL, Lord! Thank You for the wonderful victories that have been won in their lives already, Jesus, that may not seem like big things, but to each one it's been some major step in their life, some major victory that was important to them, Lord.
         6. WE KNOW IF YOU'VE GIVEN THEM THE VICTORY IN ONE THING, YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN, & WE KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO, Lord, as we look to You & hang on to You & see that the victory is in sight, Lord, by FAITH! Even if we can't always see it with our eyes, we can see it with eyes of FAITH because You've PROMISED it. And we know by experience, Lord, so many many times, over & over, how You've NEVER failed us, You ALWAYS answer, Lord, so we know You're going to do it again!
         7. BLESS EACH ONE & HELP THEM & DRAW THEM CLOSER TO YOU! Help them not to get so wrapped up in their work that they don't realise that they need to be CLOSE to You, be INTIMATE with You, be LOVERS with You, & that that is very very important, Lord! All this other is good & necessary, but we should not leave the other undone, our relationship with You. We need to maintain that close communication with You & that intimacy, that love relationship with You that we can't go wrong in, Lord. We can be assured that everything else will fall into the proper place as long as we keep close to YOU.
         8. HELP US TO KEEP THAT EVER MINDFUL & TO PERSEVERE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU! Just as in human relationships, Lord, it takes awhile to build a good relationship, & we need to get to know You, we need to learn to have communication with You, we need to iron out the problems on our end to have a clear channel with You, Lord, by yieldedness & by obedience & submission. But Lord, the thrills & the joys & the results will be better than our wildest imaginations! So help us, Lord!
         9. GIVE US THAT CONTACT & THE DESIRE FOR THAT CONTACT, THAT DESIRE TO PUT YOU FIRST & TO REALLY PURSUE YOU, LORD, & OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU! TYJ! Thank You that You love us & that You want to be in the bed of love with us & You want to hear us whisper sweet things to You too, Lord, just as You do to us. So help us to learn that & to mature into that & to give You what You desire & what You want from US, as well as expecting You to give us what we desire from YOU!
         10. GIVE US LOVE FOR YOU THAT CAN'T BE STOPPED, CAN'T BE BROKEN, CAN'T BE DISRUPTED, BUT THAT WILL BE STEADY! No matter what, Lord, whatever happens, that our love for You will be maintained, Lord, & that it will result in love for others & love for Your sheep & for Your Kingdom. Help us, Jesus!--In Jesus' name! Amen! TYJ!

MAMA'S CONFESSION & DAD'S PROPHECY!

         11. WELL, IT'S GOOD TO HAVE SOME TIME WITH THE LORD! I figure the LORD can get through to you a lot better than I could anyway! That's one nice thing about feeling weak & incapable & like you don't know what to do, then the LORD has to do it! Our fellowship with Him & reaching out to Him can certainly do more for you than me sitting up here lecturing you & talking to you & telling you what you're supposed to do. At least the Lord really prepares our hearts & He knows how to get through to us. Amen?
         12. YOU LOOK NICE! IT'S NOT SO BAD WHEN I GET STARTED! I really do like to talk to you, it's just taking the plunge, just getting me to start that's hard! PTL! Well, I had to come here tonight to apologise & make amends for my Happy Birthday morning when I'm afraid I was a little rebellious when I came & sat here before you & hardly said a thing, despite Dad's questions, prompting & encouragement. I just didn't want to talk, & that's no excuse, so I'm sorry.
         13. LIKE DAD SAYS, WHEN YOU DON'T DO THE RIGHT THING, YOU USUALLY HAVE TO GO BACK TO WHERE YOU GOT OFF & GET BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK, & do the thing you didn't want to do in the first place!-Or if you don't do it right, you have to start over & DO it right. I guess all of you have gone through that before & have had to do things over, not only in your work, but in some of the mistakes you've made, you had to go back & take that grade over again, so you probably all know what I'm talking about!
         14. THE LORD HAS PRETTY MUCH MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE'S ALREADY HEALED MY EYES, HE'S DONE THE WORK, SO WE DON'T HAVE TO KEEP BEGGING HIM TO HEAL ME! HIS work is done, now He's waiting for ME to do something, & I've just got to find out what it is! I have a few ideas from what Dad's been telling me & the Lord's been trying to get through to me about. Sometimes when you have a problem like this & you're not quite sure what you need to do to get the victory or get your healing, you have to try a FEW things out!
         15. WHEN THE LORD PUTS THE PRESSURE ON, WE USUALLY START BECOMING REAL GOOD & TRYING TO DO ALL THE THINGS WE THINK MIGHT BE THE ANSWER! Anything we're a little behind on or not really right with the Lord in, we suddenly try to get right with the Lord real quick! Maybe that's why He doesn't always tell us specifically or exactly WHAT the solution is, because He wants us to work on EVERYTHING, EVERY aspect & EVERY area in our lives that we maybe need to work on! So the Lord's pretty smart, & like Dad has said many times before, He gets the most for His money! He's real efficient & likes to get the most out of us too! So now that I know I have the healing & the Lord's promised time after time that He's done the work & it's finished, the only thing left is to assume that it's up to ME, & I'VE got to do something.--And as usual, Dad has helped me to realise more what it is!
         16. DAD GOT A LITTLE PROPHECY FOR ME, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR IT? (Fam: Yes!) "The Lord has permitted you to contract this disease in order to draw you closer to Him, to humble you to ask for prayer & to know that you cannot do it without Him. Before you were afflicted you went astray & you trusted in the arm of flesh, but in your affliction you have cried to the Lord, & therefore you have been drawn closer to Him to seek His face & lean upon Him rather than on the arm of flesh. Therefore, in this humbled, weakened condition you've cried unto Him for strength, & He will save you & many, many others with you!" And then he added, "See? It's for a BLESSING! TYJ!" (See "Prayer & Answer for Mama's Eyes," #2332)
         17. I HAVEN'T COMPLETELY GOTTEN THE ANSWER TO EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT THE NEXT DAY OR SO WE ASKED THE LORD AGAIN & HE SAID, "YOU NEED TO TALK MORE!" I guess that's pretty obvious, none of you are going to be surprised about that! I need to TALK more, DICTATE more, & as a result, PUBLISH more. I have done a lot of talking, but I think the Lord wants me to maybe do even more, & then make sure it gets published.
         18. SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE MEANING IS OF WHAT THE LORD SAYS TO US, BUT HE EXPECTS US TO DO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO FIND OUT! Maybe we're failing in DIFFERENT areas & the Lord wants us to try to shape up in anything that we're lacking in. So He really uses sickness & illness to accomplish a great deal for Him.
         19. MY QUESTION WAS, "WELL, HOW HAVE I BEEN LEANING ON THE ARM OF FLESH?" Of course, we all sometimes lean on the arm of flesh to some extent, & it's a big part of our Christian life to learn to draw closer to the Lord & to NOT do things in our own strength or depending on others' strength. So that was my question: "In what major way am I leaning on the arm of flesh?" I had a few ideas, but Dad said, "Your READING. You're using your eyes too much, leaning on the arm of flesh. You're reading so much, report after report after report!--Letter after letter, all other people's writing!"--In other words, I'm taking in a lot but not giving out enough!
         20. IT'S EASY FOR ME TO READ, & I GET A LOT IN, BUT WHERE I HAVE TO REALLY TRUST THE LORD IS TO GIVE OUT, to really pour out more than I have been! Other people's information is important, I have to know it, but to give out the Word of the Lord in answer to that is much more important than just finding out what's going on in the Family. I need to make sure I'm being faithful to give the Lord's ANSWERS to it all.--Which, of course, I CAN'T lean on the arm of flesh to do.--The LORD has to do that!
         21. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, I HAVEN'T HAD EXPERIENCE IN HARDLY ANYTHING, SO WHEN QUESTIONS COME, I HAVE TO REALLY GET DESPERATE & ASK THE LORD! I know that anything I ever get in answer to anything is from the LORD, because I'm certain that I don't know anything myself! When people ask me a question or have a problem, most of the answers I get are things I've never even thought about before. And when we get answers from the Lord & give counsel from the Lord, we need to make it clear to others that we are getting it from the LORD, & not just assume that everybody knows that!
         22. I THINK THE LORD'S GIVEN ME A SPIRIT HELPER TO ANSWER QUESTIONS & PROBLEMS! I'm very conscious of the fact that when somebody asks me a question, that it's the LORD Who gives me the answer. I've been more & more aware of this lately, that the Lord really does give me answers!-And I really do know it's the LORD, because I never even thought of most of the things until the question came up, but then I get an answer to it! TTL!
         23. SO YOU CAN ALL ASK ME QUESTIONS, & THE LORD WILL PROBABLY ANSWER YOU! It's like a vacuum! The same with Dad: When I ask him things, even though he's never thought of it before, the Lord will give the answer! So that's another reason why I thought the Lord was putting the pressure on for me to come & talk to you, besides me making amends for my badness & my rebelliousness in not wanting to talk on my birthday.

YOU CAN ALWAYS DO WHAT THE LORD ASKS!

         24. SAYING YOU CAN'T DO IT IS JUST AN EXCUSE, USUALLY DUE TO PRIDE, BECAUSE YOU CAN ALWAYS DO WHAT THE LORD ASKS YOU TO! Of course, I do have a poor memory, so if somebody wants me to remember things, maybe I can't do that.--But I CAN talk! There's always SOMETHING I can say, even if I have to sit here & read you Scriptures! In other words, even if you can't exactly do every detail of what you think you're asked to do, you can always do SOMETHING! You can't really use the excuse that you can't do it, because even if you can't talk, you can read Scriptures!--And that's probably even BETTER! If you can't sing, again, you can read Scriptures! Within what you're asked to do, there's always SOME way you can obey!
         25. MAYBE YOU CAN'T SIT UP HERE & CARRY A TUNE & SING, BUT YOU COULD ASK SOMEBODY ELSE TO PLAY & SING! I think you're finding that out in your Sunday Fellowships, that you don't have to be Mr. or Mrs. Superstar, but you can just get up here & plan for other people to do things, & you can do SOMETHING at least! So we shouldn't ever say we CAN'T do something when the Lord asks us to.--That's just an excuse! We can do SOMETHING, & maybe it will turn out to be better than what we thought we needed to do, or even what we were asked to do, especially if we let the Lord lead & guide us.
         26. WITH THE EXCEPTION OF SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY UNDER THE CONTROL OF EVIL SPIRITS, MOST OF US REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSE FOR NOT DOING WHAT WE SHOULD DO! With prayer & a certain amount of will power & just plain obedience, we usually can do whatever we're supposed to. It's usually just an excuse to say you CAN'T, or you're not going to because you've got this or that weakness or problem.--Like me, I'm shy, I'm selfconscious--but that's just an excuse too.
         27. YOU CAN OVERCOME YOUR PRIDE WITH PRAYER! In all aspects of our life, if we will just PRAY & ask the LORD to help us, He WILL! The problem is, when we don't want to do something, we don't want God's help that badly! So we usually don't ask for it & we just resort to excusing ourselves that, "Well, I can't do it" or "I'm too shy!" But I know that's just an excuse.
         28. MOST OF US KNOW THAT WHEN WE DECIDE WE DON'T WANT TO DO SOMETHING & WE SAY WE CAN'T DO IT, WE'RE USUALLY JUST MAKING EXCUSES, because we know the Lord well enough to know that ALL things are possible with HIM, & that we can do ANYTHING that He wants us to do! "I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me!"--Phil.4:13. Sometimes we may need some extra PRAYER, united prayer or others praying with or for us, but that's always available too. So there's really no excuse for us not doing what the Lord wants us to do!

COMMITMENT & LOVE FOR THE LORD!

         29. COMMITMENT IS THE SAME AS CONSECRATION & DEDICATION. What it really boils down to is, "How much love do we have for the Lord?" Our consecration sort of depends on how much love we have.
         30. IF WE LOVE THE LORD, WE'RE GOING TO BE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING, NO MATTER WHAT! Sometimes when Dad has needed help or in times past when we were out in a restaurant or somewhere & he wanted me to get someone or do something that might maybe seem a little crazy, my love for him overcame my self-consciousness. If you really LOVE someone you're willing to forget everything else! If members of your family are in a burning building, you run in to rescue them! If you really LOVE them you'll do that without even thinking. And that's the way it is with the Lord: If we love Him enough we won't even have to hesitate, we won't have to think twice about ourselves or what people are going to say or what the repercussions are going to be, we'll just go ahead & do what He asks immediately!
         31. I THINK ALL OF US HAVE TIMES IN OUR LIVES WHEN WE HESITATE & WE HAVE RESERVATIONS, WHICH SHOWS THAT WE NEED TO LOVE THE LORD MORE. If your children are in danger you'll forget everything else & run to rescue them, no matter what's going to happen to you, & that's how it should be in our relationship with the LORD! We can gauge our love for the Lord by how many reservations we have in doing what we're asked to do, or how many ways we try to get out of it, thinking, "Well, what's so-&-so going to say?", or what all the results are going to be.

BEING HUMBLE IS BEING YIELDED & WILLING!

         32. DAD SAID I NEED TO TALK MORE, & THAT IT'S JUST MY DAMNED PRIDE THAT I DON'T! The point is, I need to be YIELDED to talk whenever it's necessary.--Not that I necessarily have to come every week to give you a big talk to make sure I'm staying humble, but a lot of being HUMBLE has to do with simply being YIELDED & WILLING to do whatever you're SUPPOSED to do.
         33. SO I KNOW THAT A LOT OF THE PROBLEM IS MY PRIDE & SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS & SHYNESS WHICH I'VE HAD ALL MY LIFE, but it seems like after this long I should have gotten over it with the Lord's help! In other words, there's no excuse. So if I obey & start to DO it, I know the Lord won't fail, & I know that He is very capable of doing WHATEVER He wants to do & needs to do through us! I sort of hide behind my self-consciousness & shyness as an excuse, but I'm hiding behind it & I KNOW it!--And I know it's not a legitimate excuse! All of us have had that problem at some time or another, of drawing back for fear of what people are going to say or because we're worried about ourselves or we feel incapable, blah, blah.--But such worries are no excuse for not OBEYING the Lord!

PAUL'S BIG JOB & UPHOLDING HIM IN PRAYER!

         34. I WAS LOOKING AT PAUL WHEN I GOT TO THAT LAST POINT, BECAUSE PAUL FEELS VERY INCAPABLE TO GO OUT THERE & BE OUR AMBASSADOR, BUT HE OBEYS & DOES THE JOB, & HE'S A WONDERFUL EXAMPLE OF THAT! I was planning on separating these two talks, & telling you about my problems first, & then telling you how well Paul's done & how great he is.--I figured if I separated the two, I wouldn't look quite so bad in comparison!--Ha! Maybe HE should be sitting up here instead of ME! Now he's all embarrassed! But he's a wonderful example to me of dedication & commitment, being willing & obedient to go out & do what he knows needs to be done & what he's asked to do.--Which have been some very very difficult assignments, God bless him!
         35. BUT IF WE PUT ALL THIS RESPONSIBILITY ON PAUL, IT'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO REALLY UPHOLD HIM IN PRAYER, PRAYING THAT THE LORD WILL REALLY HELP HIM & DO IT AS HE'S DONE BEFORE! One thing that encourages Paul is that the Lord HAS done it so far. In every mission that he's had, in every job he's had, the Lord has come through victoriously & better than he had even imagined, & also given him good people to work with. But each job has been very straining in every way--spiritually, physically, mentally & emotionally.
         36. SO PLEASE EARNESTLY PRAY FOR HIM & HIS BIG JOB! OF COURSE THE CROS & NOS HAVE A BIG RESPONSIBILITY AS WELL. Being the final authorities on their fields, like Paul is whenever he's in a country, that's a very awesome responsibility. I can relate to having the final word, but I can't quite relate to the same conditions. It's a terrible responsibility, a big, big job. Not only is it something that is spiritual--physically it's fairly easy to sit here & hear from the Lord--but to be out there & have all the pressures of the everyday problems, administration & "the burden & the press of the people," something even Jesus had to get away from at times, it's a very, very stressful job! To make it, you have to stay very close to the Lord & keep your mind on HIM more than on the problems or the burdens, otherwise you'll go down with the problems & with the people, who in many cases are doubting & defeated.
         37. THAT'S WHY SOME OF OUR FIELDS ARE IN THE POOR CONDITION THEY'RE IN: THEY JUST SORT OF GAVE UP! They didn't have the faith to keep progressing & forging ahead, they didn't have somebody to stand up & inspire them to make it no matter what. So they just got defeated & started looking too much at all their problems & the waves, & they started sinking! They need somebody to get in there & really INSPIRE them, someone who can look to the LORD more than to them & their problems. Because if the LORD says He can do it & you can do it, then you CAN! So we've got to have somebody who is going to be able to get in there & personally inspire them. Some of our NOs are doing pretty well & being a blessing, but we even need to send somebody to go inspire THEM.

THE BENEFITS OF PERSONAL CONTACT!

         38. MAYBE SOME OF YOU HAVE WONDERED WHY I WAS SPENDING SO MUCH TIME WITH PAUL THIS WEEK. Sometimes there is a definite advantage in having personal contact! He & the NOs can write us, & they can ask us questions, & we do attempt to answer them sooner or later, whenever we can. But one question asked in person could result in a long response, equivalent to pages & pages of material, which normally in our correspondence & LETTERS we have to try to make very brief & just summarise the answer. We'll give you a few paragraphs or even one or two pages of answer to the question & that's fine. But in a personal conversation, when you really get together in meetings--delegates' meetings, NO meetings, Shepherds' meetings, leadership pow-wows & things like that--that one answer to the first question can initiate or result in another question, & that results in another answer!--And THAT answer brings up ANOTHER question & on & on, & you can cover much more territory because you have immediate two-way communication.
         39. I CAN'T INITIATE THE QUESTIONS. Paul knows what's been going on on the field, & HE can initiate the questions, which in turn gives rise to all kinds of answers. All over the World we've found that it pays to have personal meetings sometimes, because you just can't do everything via paper power! Paper power IS very important & we do MOST of our work that way, but as far as the practical administration of a field & really supervising & helping people personally, you need some personal contact. It's too difficult to try to cover EVERYTHING on paper!
         40. WE NEED A LINK WITH THE FIELD, TOO! Dad's given most of the answers & almost every problem that arises is already covered in the Letters somewhere, at least the basic principles & policies, but you have to get down to DETAILS when you're on the field. We can give the general policies & the basic principles from here, that's our job, but when you get on the field, the problem is how to APPLY those basic policies & principles to the problems at hand.
         41. PAUL IS LIKE OUR LIAISON, HE KNOWS THE POLICIES & THE PRINCIPLES, BUT HE'S GOT TO GO & APPLY THEM & HELP THEM TO PUT THEM INTO EFFECT! So the personal meetings & the face-to-face discussions ARE very important in some cases, when the Lord makes it possible. If the Lord had thought it wasn't necessary, He probably wouldn't have let Paul come for this visit!

LABOUR & MANAGEMENT!

         42. IT SUDDENLY DAWNED ON ME: HERE IS THIS PRICELESS OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS THINGS & HEAR MORE FROM HIS EXPERIENCE & GIVE HIM MORE COUNSEL! Paul is supposed to be OUR representative, not necessarily the FIELD representative. He's a liaison, but he's more in MANAGEMENT than he is in LABOUR! He doesn't solely represent the Homes.
         43. WE IN OUR MANAGEMENT ARE NOT SET UP LIKE THE WORLDLY LABOUR-MANAGEMENT BODIES ARE. In the World, the management has their side & they have their own greed & their own goals that they want to accomplish, & labour has theirs, & they're usually in conflict with each other. The management wants to make the money, & the labourers want their rights & they want their share of the money too.
         44. BUT IN OUR KIND OF ORGANISATION, OUR KINGDOM, THE MANAGEMENT, AT LEAST AT THIS LEVEL, CERTAINLY SHOULD BE HEARING FROM THE LORD, & WE TRY TO DO ONLY WHAT IS RIGHT & BEST FOR THE LABOUR. We don't have a selfish motivation.--Ours is UNSELFISH, only to HELP the labourers, help them win the World for Jesus, help them win others to the Kingdom of God! So when they have problems or gripes, the role of the negotiator in our Family should be to show them how they CAN conform to management policies and principles.
         45. WHEN OUR LABOUR, OUR HOMES, HAVE GRIPES & COMPLAINTS, IT ISN'T BECAUSE WE HAVE SELFISHLY WITHHELD FROM THEM but it's usually because of a lack of FAITH on their part. They feel, "We can't do it because of such-&-such." So our representatives have to go out there & show them how they CAN do it, in other words, how they can have the faith to do what the Lord has told them to do!
         46. OUR REPRESENTATIVES HAVE TO BE CAREFUL THEY DON'T GET SO SUCKED INTO THE LABOUR SIDE THAT THEY START SINKING WITH THEM & feeling, "Well, this IS too hard & this IS an impossibility & we CAN'T do what the Lord said to do!" Even though our representatives are with THEM most of the time, they have to be more conscious that they're on OUR side. They're part of MANAGEMENT, & they have to help them come up to OUR standards instead of letting them drag them down to theirs! When we were discussing this, we saw that there would be a temptation for officers on the field--CROs, NOs, Visiting Servants, Representatives, Ambassadors-to feel that way sometimes, because you DO feel for the people & their problems.
         47. BUT YOU HAVE TO OVERCOME THAT & LOOK TO THE LORD! You can't get to looking so much at the people & looking at their problems & looking at the defeats that you feel, "Well, I guess the Lord can't do this after all." You have to keep your heart & eyes fixed ABOVE, on the LORD & on His WORD, & know without a shadow of a doubt that He CAN do it, have the faith that He can do it, & keep that always in your heart!
         48. WHEN YOU GET INTO THESE SITUATIONS YOU DO FEEL HEARTBROKEN FOR THE PEOPLE, BUT LET'S FACE IT, IT'S USUALLY THEIR OWN LACK OF FAITH THAT HAS CAUSED THE PROBLEM! If we're defeated & we have problems, it's not the LORD'S fault. The NOs are supposed to be part of management too, but it's difficult for them, because they're dealing constantly with the problems of the Homes & problems of the people. They have to have strong faith in the Lord & His Word, & a real determination to do what the Lord says no matter what, even if it does look impossible! They have to have really strong faith because otherwise they'll just be dragged down & the whole field will be dragged down.
         49. I UNDERSTAND THAT, BECAUSE A LOT OF TIMES EVEN IN MY PERSONAL SITUATION I TEND TO DO THE SAME THING WHEN DAD ISSUES AN ORDER OR A RULE & I SAY, "OH, THOSE POOR PEOPLE, THEY CAN'T DO THAT! Please don't be so hard on them, don't make them do that!"--And I have to watch out, because that's the same sort of situation. I need to stick with Dad & what he says, & have the faith that it CAN be done! Of course, there's a balance to it. Just like on the field, sometimes we tell people something & say "Do it," but there are some times when we can later modify & adapt some rules & policies if we see they're too difficult & not working, & we have. When we see some problems in applying certain things, we can relax things a little more. So there is often a place for dialogue & a little bit of compromise here or there to find the right balance.
         50. BUT MOSTLY, WHEN WE'RE WITH MANAGEMENT, WE NEED TO STICK WITH MANAGEMENT! We need to uphold those rules instead of feeling, "Oh, these poor people, they can't do it!" In that case, we're saying the LORD can't do it. We need to have the faith to at least first TRY to do it no matter what!
         51. AND LIKE I SAID, THERE ARE TIMES THAT WE RELAX OR MODIFY A RULE OR POLICY ONCE IN A WHILE. In fact, we WELCOME hearing from the Homes & what their problems are, because there are some things we can do to make things easier for them. Sometimes they have legitimate problems that we can help alleviate & we can do something for them, & we do try to do that as much as we can, in practical ways & in counsel.
         52. ALL THAT TO SAY THAT WE NEED TO ESPECIALLY PRAY FOR PAUL--AS WELL AS OUR CROS & NOS, who have a definite tendency sometimes to get dragged down with all the burdens of everything. And as far as personal meetings & personal communication, it really does help sometimes to have that. Paul & I were able to cover a lot more than we could have ever covered via letter, because as you talk you think of more questions & more things to bring out that we would never think of or initiate ourselves.

LEADERS HEARING FROM THE LORD!

         53. SO THE LORD REALLY BURDENED MY HEART THAT I NEEDED TO TALK TO PAUL. I GUESS IT WAS PART OF WHAT DAD TOLD ME, "YOU NEED TO TALK MORE!" I need to talk more, to pour out more, & Paul needs to know how we feel about things. It's not that he can't hear from the Lord himself on the field, & he does when he doesn't have a chance to ask us questions in a letter. The Lord gives him the answers when we're not there to give them to him. It's just that there sometimes is a lack of time to pray & think about all the questions that come up when he's on the field, so if we can discuss some of it together now, we can get a lot of the answers right here & it's like a shortcut!
         54. LIKE DAMARIS IN HER SITUATION: WHEN SHE HAS QUESTIONS, SHE WRITES US, BUT SHE GOES AHEAD HEARING FROM & OBEYING THE LORD, & THEN TELLING US ABOUT WHAT SHE'S DONE, & by the time she hears back from us it's an encouragement to her, because usually she's been getting the same answers! If you have a close link with the Lord, & you're desperately praying for an answer, He'll give it! She has the responsibility & she makes most of the decisions, not us. If it was like our Home that WE'RE supposed to run, well, she could pray for an answer & maybe not get it, because WE'RE supposed to get it! But Paul & Damaris & our leaders out on the field, when they need answers, they just pray & the Lord can show them what to do just as well as He can show us.--And maybe BETTER, because we aren't even THERE!
         55. BUT WHEN WE CONFIRM THINGS, THAT ENCOURAGES HER THAT SHE'S ABLE TO GO AHEAD ON HER OWN! It's a real help to all our other leaders out on the field as well, when we confirm their actions. Sometimes haven't you found in your personal situations that you're not SURE what the Lord wants, you have an idea, a certain leading, but for somebody else to get the SAME answer, you feel it must be the Lord, & it's a real encouragement to you? So confirming things is a real help!
         56. LIKE JUAN & LEAH FOR EXAMPLE IN LATIN AMERICA: Leah wrote & said, "It's such a relief to know that you said you agreed with what we did on this & you agreed with what we did on that!" She's so relieved when we just tell her, "Well, we were proud of you for doing that, & that was a good move." She said, "Oh, we were waiting with bated breath all this time, we wanted to know if we did the right thing!"
         57. I'M SURE IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU HAD RESPONSIBILITY, as the head of a Home or a LIM or a Visiting Servant, you were greatly relieved when someone came along & told you you'd made the right decision. We seem to need that, because our channels aren't always so clear. We pray & we ask the Lord for an answer, but it's really a relief when somebody comes along & says, "We think that was the right decision, you did the right thing!" It encourages our faith to go ahead & trust the Lord for more!

PRAY FOR THOSE YOU GIVE RESPONSIBILITY TO!

         58. WHEN I ASK OTHERS TO DO THINGS, EVEN WITH THE PUBS, I'M STILL ULTIMATELY RESPONSIBLE. In other words, if I shove the job off on somebody else, I'M still responsible, & I feel the responsibility that I'd better at least PRAY & ask the Lord to help them in what they're doing, because it was my idea in the first place! Even though you as a leader can't do every job yourself, if you give jobs to others & you expect them to do them right, you're pretty responsible to pray for them & help them in whatever way you can. You're the one that gave them their responsibility or you put them in that position, so you're still ultimately responsible, & you can help them make it by praying for them.--Along with any other help you can give them.
         59. LOOKING AT IT FROM A SYSTEM VIEWPOINT, WE CERTAINLY DO CRAZY THINGS, & WE EXPECT MORE FROM OUR WORKERS THAN THE SYSTEM WOULD EVER EXPECT FROM THEIRS, & the only way we can do that is because we know the LORD will do it through them! So we're sorry we have to make it such a difficult job, but when it's a necessity & what the Lord wants, we know the Lord will come through & help supernaturally! But that's why we always pray especially hard every day for Paul & Juan & Leah & the others.--Especially when they're in these meetings. Praying for them is our responsibility.--It's mine, but I want all the help I can get in praying for them!

MAMA'S PRAYER REQUEST!

         60. WELL, I WENT FROM TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS TO PAUL'S PROBLEMS, & NOW WE WANT TO HAVE PRAYER FOR MY PROBLEMS & FOR PAUL'S SUCCESS IN HIS NEXT MISSION! So back to my problems: Dad said, "You need to talk more!" And we came to the conclusion, which wasn't very difficult, that the reason I WASN'T talking more was just PRIDE. So my problem is not that the Lord hasn't healed my eyes, the Lord said He's done it, but we need to pray that I'll obey & do whatever I'm supposed to do, which looks like talk more, & not be worried about myself!--Which is a pretty simple thing to do with the Lord's help, I don't have much excuse!
         61. IT'S NOT SOME BIG DEMONIC THING THAT'S KEEPING ME BACK! With most of our problems, all we have to do is OBEY, then the Lord gives us the answer & the victory.
         62. SO I'VE MADE MY CONFESSION, & I'M ASKING PETER TO PRAY FOR ME. I didn't think I'd put any of the rest of you through having to come up & pray for me & my problems.--Not that you should mind, because we ALL have problems, I have as many problems as you do; the only difference with me is I have a different job, a certain position that the Lord's given me. As Dad's often brought out, you salute the rank, the position, the uniform, but that doesn't make me any different than you. We're all in different positions here, we have that distinction, but we're all basically pretty much the same.--We think pretty much the same, we come from fairly similar backgrounds, but our JOBS are different.
         63. THAT'S ONE OF THE BIG DISTINCTIONS IN OUR FAMILY, OUR JOBS ARE DIFFERENT. That's what makes the distinctions. Being a leader is a job! Somebody brought that out the other day, & I thought it was good: It's not that the leader is necessarily so much BETTER than anybody else, in fact he may be WORSE, but he IS the leader, so you salute the job & the position!
         64. THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE ME, BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE POSITION I HAVE. Well, hopefully you love me as a person too, like I love you, but you have that SPECIAL love because of the POSITION the Lord's given me, & that's your love for the LORD being manifested. You can love me just as a person & I love you as Family members, but your special love for me is a love for the Lord, the position He's given me in His Kingdom. That doesn't mean that I'm any better than the rest of you, in fact I might be worse than some of you, & in some things I am!

IT ENCOURAGES US WHEN OTHERS MAKE MISTAKES!

         65. I THOUGHT MY CONFESSION WOULD ENCOURAGE YOU! After all, to hear anybody confess their sins always makes you feel better, doesn't it? Even when Dad makes mistakes I tell him, "That really encourages me!" I'm sure you feel the same way. I tell him, "Boy, I'm glad you're not perfect, it really encourages me!" Like Techi says, "Everybody makes mistakes, Grandpa!"--Which is a nice thing to say to people to encourage them. So I think it does encourage us when others make mistakes. That's what's so horrible about self-righteousness: Self-righteous people, on the surface at least, don't make very many mistakes. They're so good, that's why they're self-righteous, & I think that's why we feel a little uncomfortable with people like that. We're much more comfortable with people that are making mistakes like we are! So perhaps we could pray now.

PRAYER FOR MAMA!

         66. (MAMA PRAYS:) THANK YOU JESUS! THANK YOU, LORD, FOR YOUR MERCY! THANK YOU, LORD, FOR FORGIVENESS! Thank You, Jesus, for all Your love for us! Thank You for Your love for me, Lord, & putting up with me & my holding back, my reservations, Lord. You've put up with a lot from me, Lord, & I know You've spoiled me, but at the same time I've seen Your Love, I've seen Your mercy to a wayward child, & I know You love me, Lord. I feel secure in it because I know You've been patient with me & You've gently led me & helped me to see little by little, & not made me feel fearful & insecure. Little by little You've shown me what You wanted to show me, Lord, but now You want me to repent & do what I need to do, Lord.
         67. SO THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME & THANK YOU FOR PUTTING THE PRESSURE ON TO MAKE ME DO WHAT I SHOULD DO, because I WANT to do it, Lord, & I want to be free of these excuses or whatever it is, these problems that cause me to be hesitant & have reservations about doing Your Will, Lord, doing WHATEVER You want, or even whatever I THINK You might want, Lord.
         68. SO FORGIVE ME & HELP ME, LORD, IN THESE RESPECTS, NOT TO BE SELF-CONSCIOUS, NOT TO BE WORRIED ABOUT HOW THINGS COME OUT, that they're not going to be perfect or they're not clear enough or all the things I worry & murmur about. Forgive me for that & help me to just go ahead & do it anyway, Lord, trusting YOU to work things out & give the right kind of results. Lord help me, in Jesus' name!
         69. (PETER: THANK YOU FOR SWEET MAMA, JESUS, WHO'S BEEN A TREMENDOUS SAMPLE TO US ALL, LORD, OF TRUE LOVE & TRUE MERCY, OF THY LOVE & THY MERCY, JESUS! She has really been longsuffering with all of us, Lord. There are so many of us here who have seen a tremendous change in her life over the years, from someone who was so behind the scenes, Lord, & is now looking more to You, Jesus, & has been yielding more to You, & You've been manifesting Yourself more & more through her, Jesus. We know it's You, Lord!
         70. (LORD, WE JUST THANK YOU FOR IT, & HOW YOU'VE SO MIGHTILY WORKED THROUGH HER, JESUS! And Lord, as Your Word says, SHE must decrease that YOU may increase!--John 3:30. Lord, she's come before You now and she's asked in faith, she's obeyed, and we know that with obedience will come Thy blessing, with obedience will come Thy anointing. We don't always have to understand, but if we obey, You will help us to understand later, Jesus!
         71. (SO LORD, WE JUST THANK YOU FOR HOW SHE'S COME BEFORE YOU HERE, & ALL OF US, & SHE'S CONFESSED THIS, & You said that if we confess our faults, You're faithful & just to forgive us & to cleanse us from all unrighteousness!--1Jn.1:9. We believe that You'll cleanse her from this & that You will help her & You will strengthen her, because it's Your Word. She's asked forgiveness, Lord, & You've promised forgiveness. You said as far as the East is from the West, so far have You removed our transgressions from us, Jesus!--Psa.103:12.
         72. (SO LORD, WE ASK THAT YOU CONTINUE TO STRENGTHEN HER & GIVE HER GREAT FAITH THAT YOU DO SPEAK THROUGH HER, LORD, & that what she says is of Thee, & that as it comes out, it's the way You want it to be, Jesus! Help her to have great faith in this, to know, Lord, that if she just yields & obeys, that You will pour forth like never before! We claim Thy anointing, Thy power & the power of Thy Spirit to help her over these things, & to help her to set aside the childish ways & to take on the mantle that You have set before her, Lord. It's her choice, she wants to do it, & she's come forth in obedience & she's done it, Lord, & now we ask You to do Your part, Jesus.
         73. (LORD, SHE'S OBEYED YOU AS MUCH AS SHE COULD HERE, & WE ASK THAT YOU THEREFORE DO TOUCH & HEAL HER EYES. She's taken this first step, & we know that if she takes one step, that You will match it & carry it beyond & heal her, Jesus! So we claim Thy promises, Lord, that if we ask we SHALL receive, & You've promised that if we obey, that we'll receive Thy blessings! So please do strengthen & help her & bless her, in Jesus' name!) Amen, Lord, You're going to do it! It's Your Word! TYJ! Hallelujah!

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family