MARRIED TO JESUS!                 DO 1953                  5/71

         1. (A LEADER EXPLAINS TO DAD HIS PROBLEM OF LACK OF FELLOWSHIP BETWEEN HIM & HIS WIFE, & that he believes he is reaping what he sowed for so many years. He expresses concern that his wife has developed a relationship with a sweet, undomineering kind of man who will do what she says.)
         2. THIS IS NORMAL FOR THE WOMEN LEADERS IN THE FAMILY--to have special followers--certain people who love them dearly & are willing to do anything they say, will lay down their lives for them & follow them around constantly in faithful service. They need these kind of helpers!
         3. THE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU USED TO HAVE, that you thought was normal & that you wish to regain, may not be normal at all. You must now put God first & be willing to part with her if the Lord so wills it. You must put God first, instead of your personal problems with your wife. You've got to be married to the Lord! If the Lord gives you a little sweet personal fellowship in the Lord together, that's a bonus. But don't blame it on a person if you don't have it--it's up to the Lord!
         4. IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT, JUST BURY YOURSELF IN THE LORD'S WORK--& LET HER DO THE SAME. You just go your way, & let her go her way. God is in control! And if you're reaping what you sowed, you may have to do it for the rest of your life! Quit worrying about it! You must get your mind on the Lord & put Him first. You left your First Love--now you've got to come back to Him. Your love for the Lord cannot hinge on your wife! You're going to have to put God first--nothing except God's work. God's testing you now to see if you're going to put Him first!
         5. YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO WORK TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. You're both so valuable your talents can't always be all concentrated in one place at one time. Unless the work unites you where you have to be together--God expects you to be willing to put Him first & be separated from each other. You have to be willing to say, "Lord, if You want to give her back to me, okay, but if not, I'm going to go ahead anyway without her & praise You no matter what!"
         6. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO SET HER FREE, & if she comes back, great! You can't make or force somebody to love you. You've got to inspire that love.--And you've got to do it by becoming the kind of man she can respect & admire, & the kind of man she wants you to be for the Lord.
         7. SACRIFICE HAS BEEN THE PRIMARY REQUISITE FOR LOVE IN OUR FAMILY! That's the kind of person she will love. But a selfish possessive love doesn't work in our kind of Family. She'll explode & hate you & feel like killing you just to get her freedom! But if you'll earn her respect by showing you are putting God first, she'll love you in the Spirit, & this in turn leads to love in the flesh. Don't expect this to happen overnight. You'll have to prove yourself--it may take a long time. Leave it all in God's hands!
         8. YOUR WIFE FEELS LIKE YOU SMOTHER HER & SHE HASN'T GOT MUCH FREEDOM AROUND YOU. You may just have to let her go until she gets fed up with it & comes home to you. And if she sees that you will let her go cheerfully & sacrificially, she'll love you for it. Real love prefers the happiness of the other above your own. Selfish love wants to cling & hang on & put her in bondage. If you really love her, you'll free her!
         9. THE PERSON WITH THE MOST DEDICATION IS THE ONE WHO ALWAYS COMES OUT BETTER. It's easy for her to go because she's more dedicated. When you're totally dedicated & sold-out to the Lord & Him alone, you don't care so much about it. Get busy & involved in the Lord's Work & it won't bother you so much!
--Amen?--GBY & keep you busy!

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family