THE 7 F's OF FFing!      DO 1083  1/1/82
--Dad's New Year's Day Keynote Address for the Year!

         [HomeARC note (9/98): FFing was discontinued in 1987.]

         1. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL! GBY! You'll be very encouraged to hear the good news, all the good stats! The Family is the largest number we've ever had yet, 9544! But the average size of our Homes today has dwindled down to only 4.4, & that, I think, is getting dangerously low & needs correction!--And is getting corrected by the Lord & the Family through the Fellowships & new co-ops every month. I think that the average Home should be at least a couple couples, at least two couples, & maybe a couple singles.
         2. WE'RE DEFINITELY ENCOURAGING FELLOWSHIP & BETTER ORGANISATION THAN WE HAD BEFORE, because we got dwindled down to too small Homes as you can see, only 4.4, & too little fellowship, too much isolation, too little cooperation, so that now we really need more fellowship, we need more cooperation, more co-ops. We need larger Homes & we need better organisation. PTL?
         3. WE HAVE DISTRIBUTED NEARLY 420 MILLION PIECES OF LITERATURE, THINK OF THAT! Pieces, now, not just pages even. So for the ten-year period we have distributed nearly half-a-billion pieces of literature, 420 million! And we've gotten results in these ten years!--Nearly 4-1/2 million salvations, PTL? Isn't that wonderful? And 2-1/4 million Holy Spirit Baptisms. That is about one salvation for every 100 pieces of literature distributed--not bad at all!
         4. OUR BOYS & GIRLS HAVE BEEN BUSY & WE HAVE GOTTEN OVER 4000 BIRTHS, 4056 births in ten years! And in the process, since we started FFing, we have had about 300 Jesus babies! And by the end of this year ('81) it will be about 70,000 fish loved in four years, or about 18,000 fish loved every year. Let's give it a nice generous figure of at least 20,000 fish fucked every year. 300 Jesus babies out of 80,000 fucks is only one out of every 266 fucks. We get one Jesus baby out of every 266 FF fucks!
         5. OUR 2500 FAMILY COUPLES ROUGHLY SPEAKING ARE PRODUCING ABOUT 700 BABIES PER MILLION FUCKS A YEAR, or only one baby for about every 1500 fucks! So God is blessing the FFing & we're getting a higher percentage of Jesus babies according to the number of FF fucks than we are from Family fucks! Now that ought to be a point in favour of FFing! But maybe that's going to scare some of you girls out of FFing! Ha! You've got a five-to-one better chance of being blessed with a baby through FFing!
         6. IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT THOUGH THE FAMILY STARTED OUT VIRTUALLY 100% AMERICANS, GUESS WHAT PERCENT AMERICANS WE ARE TODAY? We're only about one-third Americans! But the miracle & the marvel of it is that we are now about 2/3 70 or 80 other nationalities! We used to be all Americans, now we're only one out of three Americans. The vast majority of the Family are now citizens of the whole World, instead of the Americans having a monopoly on the Jesus Revolution in the Family. Isn't that wonderful? I would say we are nationalised, PG?
         7. FOR SOME REASON OR OTHER THE TERMS HAVE GOTTEN TO BE THOUGHT SYNONYMOUS, THAT FF MEANS FUCK, but it ain't necessarily so! You can sexually attract someone & witness to them in a, you might say, sexual way because you're the opposite sex & sexual attraction was the tool or the method, not necessarily going all the way. For example, in our last four years of FFing we've FF witnessed to over 400,000 souls, whereas you've only actually fucked 63,000. So you've only had to go to bed with one out of seven to witness to them at least. And out of the number you've gone to bed with, guess how many you've won?--Exactly half! One out of two!
         8. ONE OUT OF EVERY TWO YOU GO TO BED WITH, YOU HAVE WON TO THE LORD! Now that is a very high percentage of fruit from seed sown! That's much higher than one-out-of-a-hundred by lit distribution! That's much higher than the total of nearly 30 billion witnessed to & only 4 1/2 million won! That's only one out of 6000 of those witnessed to, only one-out-of-a-hundred of those litnessed to, but one out of two of those fucked to!--So FFing is 3,000 times as effective as all other witnessing combined!
         9. SO WHAT IS THE MOST FRUITFUL FORM OF WITNESSING & SOUL-WINNING?--TO SHOW THEM THE LOVE OF GOD, TO PROVE THAT GOD LOVES THEM! To show them you are the Love of God! Isn't that wonderful? PTL! Even of those FF witnessed to, in other words, where sex was part of the deal & attraction--if not actually going to bed but the sexual attraction, FF witnessing--you have won one out of 12 FFing, & one out of two you've actually gone all the way with!
         10. DID YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE JUST HAD THE GREATEST YEAR OF FFing WE'VE EVER HAD?--The best ever! Just because you haven't heard much about it lately doesn't mean that the girls haven't been busy at it! It has been skyrocketing! It's been going on more than ever & getting more results than ever as the most effective, efficient & fruitful of all the means of witnessing & winning souls that we are practicing! Maybe I should have said, effucktive!--The most effucktive, effective, efficient & fruitful! PTL! But of course it is also the most sacrificial! You are really laying down your lives for these souls, but it works, you win one out of every two you lie down for!
         11. SO I THINK I'D LIKE TO DECLARE 1982 OUR GREATEST FF YEAR! I believe we're going to have more FFing & greater FFing & more success at FFing now in the coming year & years than ever before as the other doors are closed & you can no longer openly litness anymore, you can no longer openly busk & cafe & park & street sing, etc., anymore, maybe you can't even dare go door-to-door anymore.--There's three doors closed of the 7 Supporters!
         12. LEAVING ONLY WHAT?--MAIL MINISTRY & FFing as the only two remaining supportive ministries. And do you know what I think? After the war the mail may be so restricted or so censored or so spied on or so limited that the International Mail Ministry even of World Services may be cut off completely! We may have to do it then by courier as they did in the early days of the Church.
         13. BUT THERE WILL STILL BE ONE OUTSTANDING POSSIBLE VERY EFFUCKTIVE, EFFECTIVE, EFFICIENT & FRUITFUL SUPPORTIVE MINISTRY LEFT, particularly for you girls! Men will need women & women will need men to the very End, so it'll still be an effective, effucktive, efficient & fruitful ministry right up to the End, probably the last of the 7 Supporters when provisioning is gone & you're not even allowed to hold a job anymore because you haven't got the number. But you'll still be working, girls, as long as they've got your number, your phone number! HALLELUJAH!
         14. SO GOD BLESS YOU GIRLS & YOU WOMEN & ALL YOU FFers, MALE OR FEMALE, you are delivering the goods!--As well as the babies! And you are getting results, forever & lasting! That's another "F," the most forever! It's a forever ministry too, TTL! It's fruit forever! I'll bet we could get 7 F's out of that somehow! (Sara: Financial!) Yes, the most financial! What have we got?--The most effective, effucktive, efficient, fruitful, supportive would be financial, officerish or official--you get at more officials that way, important men--& it's forever, praise God! TYL! That's 7 F's, the 7 F's of FFing! PTL?
         15. WELL, IF THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MY KEYNOTE SPEECH FOR 1982, THAT MAY BE A SHOCKER TO SOME! I BELIEVE IT! I'M SOLD ON IT, OR I WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THIS FAR WITH IT! We've been FFing since '73, this is '82, that's ten years! So Maria's been at it for almost ten years! She's a 10-year veteran! Really she's more than that because she FFed me, really! She FFed me in 1969, so that's 12 years of FFing! She FFed me & a few others, God bless her!--Didn't fuck'm all, but FFing doesn't always mean fucking, don't get the wrong idea, but it often does & almost usually does. If it's to be effective, it usually has to be effucktive, PTL? To be effucktive, efficient, effective, effruitful, official, financial & forever!--The 7 F's of FFing, PTL!
         16. THE 7 F's OF FFing!--CAN YOU NAME'M? Not only name'm but do'm! Amen? PTL! GBY for FFing!--& He does & will!--FFing is Forever! Hallelujah! TYJ for it!--& help all our Family to FF till You come!--& then we, your Bride, will fuck YOU Jesus!--At the Marriage Supper of the Lamb! In fact we're already fuckin' you, Jesus, in the Spirit & getting the fruits of the Spirit in Thy Love!--You FFed us, Your Bride, & we've borne Your Jesus' babies!--FFed souls saved forever!
         17. I BET YOU CAN REMEMBER THE 7 F's of FFing! Can you remember them all?--Effective, effucktive, efficient, fruitful, financial, official & forever! PTL! TYJ for FFing! So FF away to that FF Day when we'll all FF with Jesus! Amen? GBAKY FFing forever! In Jesus' name, amen.


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