A TALE OF THREE FAMILIES!
DFO 1056
22/9/81
--Or How Two & Two Makes Four!
[HomeARC note: The current Charter articulates the Family's principles, policies and attitudes regarding marriage, divorce, parents and their children.]
1. PTL! TYJ! THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING DREAM I HAD THIS MORNING, just like watching a movie! I was listening to this young couple--consecrated, dedicated, whole-hearted 110%ers--discussing these other two couples that they had apparently just returned from fellowship with at their local LAF.
2. The wife was saying what a wonderful husband this one man was & what good care he took of the children & how much help he was in the Home, come home from a hard day's work at a System job & help his wife take care of the children, do the dishes & was so interested in teaching & training the children, reading the Bible & singing with them & trying to teach them how to sing & witness.
3. But his wife was a real drag & very selfish. She had evidently given up all ideas of serving the Lord or having her family serve the Lord & was only interested selfishly in things & her home & furniture & bric-a-brac & even local club meetings with Worldly women & card games, reading magazines & watching television. Already some of the older children were beginning to be a little like her as they got to be teenagers.
4. Then they were also discussing the other couple in which the positions were just reversed--the mother was a very dedicated & sweet & precious Christian, really struggling hard to train her children alone without the husband, who was not the least bit interested it seemed. All he cared about was his system job & coming home, plunking down before the TV with a newspaper & his beer & his smoke & had completely gone back on the Lord, totally backslidden, totally self-centered, cold, hard, unfeeling & cruel toward her.
5. SUDDENLY THE WIFE OF THIS UNITED COUPLE CAME UP WITH A COMMENT, IT SEEMED ALMOST BY INSPIRATION! She exclaimed, "Oh my, wouldn't it be wonderful if the two dedicated parents of these other two couples--especially with all their children or as many of them as they could possibly rescue who would want to go with them--if they could only break loose from their ungodly undedicated unconsecrated unspiritual mates.
6. "HOW WONDERFULLY THEY WOULD WORK TOGETHER & GET IT TOGETHER! What a wonderful team combination they would make!" And the man of this united couple said, "Oh, that's a great idea! If we could just somehow split'm up & encourage those two dedicated parents to get it together & salvage what children they can & [go] to the field!"
7. One thing that had brought this about, at the LAF the united couple had made the suggestion that they could have a real come-union & share sexually with each other in order to have really "One Wife" fellowship. So the wife of the united couple shared with the godly husband of one of the disunited couples, & the husband of the united couple shared with the godly wife of the other disunited couple. It was only in the bed of love that they felt close enough to share intimately with each other these deep secrets of their heart regarding their very personal problem, so that the other couple could learn of it & try to help them.
8. And the secret of it was, the thing which seemed to be such a revelation that the young godly couple got at the end of the dream was: "We've got to help them make their escape from each of their mates & get it together with their children & leave & go on to the field! They'll never make it unless we help them."
9. I WOKE UP ENTHUSED & THRILLED & EXCITED WITH THE IDEA because I thought, "That is the answer for so many homes." So often one parent is just simply trying to keep ahold of the children, trying to salvage the marriage, hoping against hope that somehow the other mate will repent & get right with God. The time comes when I think it's time to give up on them before they lead the whole family astray & destroy your usefulness & destroy your service for the Lord.
10. When it comes to the point that you've dwelt with them so long & tried to win'm & still can't win'm & they get worse & more rebellious & even violent with the children & you, & more wicked & more Worldly & more sinful & further & further from the Lord, I would say they've already departed from you in spirit & from the Lord. (1Co.7:15) So I would say that such an ungodly divided pair is unequally yoked with an unbeliever. (2Co.6:14-17)
11. I THINK IT'S A TERRIBLE THING, AN AGONISING THING FOR A PARENT TO HAVE TO SUFFER TO WATCH ANOTHER PARENT LEAD THEIR OWN CHILDREN ASTRAY; it's much worse on your children than if you would just take the children & go. It's a heart-breaking thing to do, it's a home-breaking thing to do, it's a terrible thing to have to do, but it's much worse to continue on in such terrible contention & dissension & argument & difference of opinion & difference of spirit & difference of goal & desires.
12. And of course the very best situation of all is if you can find perhaps another parent of the opposite sex who is in the same boat & wants to leave his or her mate & take what children they can salvage from an already broken divided home. What a much better home life for your children you could offer with united parents united in love & the Lord & His Word & His service & His field! What a team you could make!
13. We've had this happen in many cases in the Family, & I consider this revelation from the Lord as a confirmation. Sometimes I've wondered about it & been a little doubtful in some cases, that it was just the person themself wanting to have a change, & they just wanted to break it up just for the sake of variety. I don't think that's sufficient excuse, especially where the children are concerned.
14. But when you see that your difference in Spirituality & Godliness & training & the Word & goals & God's Service has become absolutely intolerable & irreconcilable & that you can see that it's hurting both you & your children as well as your example to other families, as well as God's work & the service that you know you should be performing & your own goals & ministry for the Lord & for others, then I think it's time to let him or her go.
15. I'm sure the Lord will soon find you someone else, perhaps another mate like yourself who's had to leave her husband with her children to serve the Lord, or the husband has had to leave his wicked wife & salvage what children he could & forsake all to serve the Lord. How much more united in heart & in work & in service & in family & in training the children you'll be when you are both of one heart, one mind, one soul, one family, one body, one goal, one service for Jesus! Hallelujah? TYJ! PTL! TYL!
16. DO YOU KNOW OF SUCH A COUPLE WHERE YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP SAVE ONE OF THE PARENTS & SOME OF THE CHILDREN? Or are you perhaps a member of such a couple & you need to be saved, you need to be helped, you need help & you know it, you just haven't been able to solve your situation? Why don't you ask for help?
17. Ask the Lord & ask us, ask the Family, ask other dedicated couples that you know are forsaking all & preparing to leave. Ask them to take you & your children with them. Ask them if they know of another such parent who has got to break up their Home in order to serve the Lord & go. Ask if they can help you. Ask perhaps some other single mate with children who's in your same boat to help you!
18. If you choose the Lord & choose His service, God will choose someone to help you! And you couples who know such pitiful terrible Homes & know those situations, why don't you counsel with them? Maybe counsel with both of them, give the recalcitrant mate a last warning & just warn them. And encourage the good parent that if the other one will not repent, to simply forsake that husband or that wife--there's plenty about that in the Bible, even children--& to go on with the Lord. You'll receive 100-fold in this life & in the World to come life eternal! I know, because He's done it for me, & I know He can do it for you!
19. READ "ONE WIFE" AGAIN! (No.249). God's in the business of breaking up homes if they're not glorifying God, if they're not serving the Lord. So don't be afraid to make the break! If you've tried everything you can, done all you can, loved all you can, prayed all you can, reasoned all you can, tried to persuade all you can & they still will not repent, then God's Word says "let him be unto you as an heathen & an heretic" & to cast them out of the congregation. (Tit.3:10; Mt.18:17)
20. The main thing is you have got to take the step of faith first yourself. You've got to believe & obey God's Word, step out by faith, forsake all, leave them behind & determine to serve the Lord at whatever the cost, whatever the price, even if you have to forsake all, both mate & children, in order to get away & serve the Lord.
21. P.S.: WHEN YOU SHARE, YOU SHARE EVERYTHING IN THE LORD. When you share in love you share all, you withhold nothing. So help them all you can financially as well. Some people will never make it any other way, they just cannot make it on their own, you're going to have to help them. And do try to get home support. Not all necessarily are able to do it, & some manage to make it on the field anyhow--Mt.9:29. But I think it's God's will for you to try to raise your support at home.
22. So God bless you & help you to get it together in real unity. There's such a strength, such a bond, such a wonderful fellowship when you're all really one in the Lord. Amen, Lord, help them to help each other, & then we know if they are determined to serve You, Lord, that You'll help them. Help them to obey even if they can't see it, to do it by faith & You'll bring it to pass. You'll find someone else, You'll find a way. Amen. TYL!
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family