NEW APPOINTMENTS!                 DO 377            12/75

MARRIAGE PROBLEMS & LEADERS

         1. WE'VE HAD A GREAT DEAL TO SAY LATELY ON MARITAL MATTERS & sexual affairs due to the abuses of some, too much liberty & too little sense of responsibility for same, & particularly in the matter of resultant children.
         2. WE ARE EXTREMELY CONCERNED OVER SUCH FAILURES at high leadership levels, as the Scripture is very clear regarding the qualifications of the overseeing officers of the Church: Each must be the HUSBAND of (at least) one wife & rule his OWN house well, or else how can he take care of the house of GOD?--1Tim.3:5.
         3. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT LEADERS WITH BROKEN MARRIAGES & broken homes & broken families of young children are good examples to the flock when fathers & mothers are separated & children must also be divided at a young age. (See Mama's recent Letter, "SEPARATIONS", in FSM 82 for further counsel on this matter.)
         4. IF YOU CANNOT KEEP YOUR OWN MARRIAGE & FAMILY TOGETHER, HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO UNITE THE FAMILY OF GOD?--1Tim.3:5. God helped me to preserve my own first marriage for a quarter of a century at all costs for the sake of His Work & our children until they were grown & married & my own ministry was completely changed & revolutionized into one which needed a new mate, as all of you can plainly see.
         5. BUT I DO NOT APPROVE OF THE CHANGES SOME OF YOU HAVE MADE in your relationships & families which are a bad example & endanger the Lord's Work. In some cases it may not seem the leader's fault but the guilt of his departing mate.
         6. BUT I BELIEVE THAT MOST OF OUR LEADERS COULD HOLD THEIR MARRIAGES TOGETHER if they tried hard enough, at least until their children are grown & the separation will not hurt the Work or the children.
         7. BUT DESPITE MANY WARNINGS SOME HAVE CONTINUED RELATIONSHIPS which have destroyed their marriages, become a bad example & endangered the Work in such a way that they can no longer be entrusted with such high responsibilities as they've had before, involving extremely sensitive security matters & the safety of the Kingdom.
         8. WE HAVE FOUND THAT MOST OF THESE UNSANCTIONED CHANGES in marital relationships made without our approval have greatly lessened the effectiveness of the leaders concerned & caused a loss of confidence in them & a neglect of the Lord's Work in some way where they have put their personal affairs before the Work of the Lord & the good & safety of His Kingdom.
         9. THEREFORE I SUGGEST THAT WE SERIOUSLY RECONSIDER THE POSITIONS & responsibilities of such leaders & make the necessary changes in their authority as deemed best as soon as possible. There may be a few rare exceptions in which the leader himself was in no way to blame. -
         10. BUT WHERE HE HAS BEEN WARNED AGAIN & AGAIN of the possible consequences of an unwise relationship resulting in a broken marriage, home & family & the possible consequences affecting his position, he is without excuse, & therefore the situation must be dealt with accordingly.
         11. SOME MAY FEEL THAT THEIR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE THEIR OWN PRIVATE AFFAIR & none of our business. But when they seriously affect & even possibly endanger the Work & others, they are no longer personal but have become of actual public concern, & particularly should concern the other administrative officials of the Kingdom.
         12. WE ALL KNOW OF A NUMBER OF CASES OF SUCH UNWISE RELATIONSHIPS & marital difficulties which have recently brought about the downfall of several important leaders due to their neglect of the Lord's Work for these selfish affairs resulting in jeopardy to the entire Kingdom.
         13. I BELIEVE I HAVE ALREADY MADE IT VERY CLEAR & the Lord has made it very clear in His Word that we most definitely disapprove of broken marriages where ungrown children are involved, resulting in a broken home & family. We do not believe it is good for them nor the Lord's Work nor for the confidence of their people in them.
         14. THESE MUST BE SERIOUSLY & SUMMARILY DEALT WITH BEFORE THEY DO ANY GREATER DAMAGE than harm already done. Amen?

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family