GREETING!
DO 50A
2/71
WISE, LOVING HANDLING OF VISITORS & SCRIPTURES ON IT
1. AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR WITNESS & PUBLIC RELATIONS IS OUR HANDLING OF VISITORS. We can suffer severe damage & losses along this line, as well as miss some great opportunities because of NEGLECT & CARELESSNESS in this field! A large part of good public relations is WISELY TREATING PARENTS WITH CONSIDERATION & RESPECT which is scripturally due to the older generation by virtue of their age--whether they deserve it or not & whether they're right or wrong: "A soft answer turneth away wrath" (Pro.15:1), & "Honour thy father & thy mother"-Mat.15:4. It doesn't say, "provided THEY'RE right" or "if YOU'RE wrong." It just says "Do it!" & you can save yourself a lot of unnecessary trouble this way.
2. YOU'RE BOUND TO HAVE SOME TROUBLE--MAT.10:36 HAS PROMISED THIS--but I've found that MOST ENEMIES CAN BE AT LEAST PACIFIED, IF YOU KEEP SWEET, don't lose your temper, let them bawl you out, but don't bawl THEM out & don't preach down at them! BETTER A SAMPLE THAN A SERMON! Being an example of sweetness & humility has turned away lots of wrath, with soft answers. "Love never faileth; but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away." It doesn't matter how much Bible you know or how much Scripture you can spout or how loud you can yell in tongues or how much you scream prophecies at these people--this is not going to pacify them, it's only going to make them madder! THE ONLY THING THAT CAN DO IT, IF ANYTHING CAN, IS LOVE & MORE LOVE & HOURS OF PATIENCE! You may need to spend hours & hours dealing with them in loving patience, but if you do, they will go away at least pacified & some of them with a much better attitude, if not convinced!
ORGANISING YOUR GREETING TEAM INTO THREE MAIN CATEGORIES
3. IN THE FIRST PLACE, GREETING IS A FULL-TIME JOB which involves handling PHONE CALLS, WITNESSING, VEHICLES, VISITORS & the LOG. You need a DIRECTOR OF GREETING who has had ex perience in meeting the "System" public & is also old enough to somewhat bridge the generation gap--parents & older visitors would treat him with a little more respect & have a little more confidence in him, because they feel him to be nearer their age & could thus understand them better. You can't have young babes, teenagers & fresh radicals without much experience, diplomacy & tact in handling the public & without even a desire for the same, greeting irate parents at the door. You need one of your OLDEST, HUMBLEST, SWEETEST & most UNDERSTANDING & PATIENT staff members to supervise the greeting.
4. THE DIRECTOR OF GREETING SUPERVISES A NUMBER OF TEAMS OF SEVERAL GREETERS EACH. These teams are divided into THREE MAJOR CATEGORIES: One for OLDER SYSTEMITES, one for the YOUNG MARRIED COUPLES OR OLDER COLLEGE AGE & one for the TEENAGERS. You cannot have a teenager dealing with parents--neither one will understand the other. Neither are older staff members usually most effective with teenagers & neither one is very good with the in-betweens, young couples & college grads.
5. YOU HAVE TO HAVE PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THEM, who themselves are somewhat in the same category & who know what they're doing! So in the first place, you need an older, responsible, cool-tempered levelheaded diplomat, with unlimited patience & love--not your hard ones who are accustomed to sifting disciples! The parents are not applying for admission--they just want to know about their children, which is a typical parental trait. If certain greeting personnel have antagonised an irate parent & nothing seems to cool them, it might be well to TRANSFER them to another ministry for awhile to take the heat off the situation.
6. IF YOU CAN REMOVE PERSONALITIES AT WHOM THE ENEMIES ARE AGGRAVATED & REPLACE THEM with someone whom they can't blame, you often solve the problem! It also gives the enemy a chance to back down & save face! This is often done in politics, business, international diplomacy & church work, who, you must admit, must have learned something along this line from generations of bitter experience! It would do well to take heed to a few outstanding Biblical examples, as well, in which the personnel were shifted to take the heat off, many examples of which are described in "I Gotta Split," as well as in "Drop-Outs." (See Nos. 29 & 34.)
BABES & PARENTS--LEAVING TEAM & KIDNAPPING
7. IF PARENTS DEMAND TO SEE THEIR CHILDREN, THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO SO. If the babe is not strong enough to stand against his parents in a face-to-face confrontation, if worse comes to worst & you have to let them see him, don't try to stop them, interfere & certainly not forcibly prevent it, even his leaving with them! If he goes VOLUNTARILY, that's HIS funeral! If they carry him out by FORCE, that's KIDNAPPING & their funeral!
8. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BECOME A PARTY TO EITHER CRIME BY ATTEMPTING TO FORCIBLY INTERFERE, not even by your attitude or words, much less by your bodily or physical actions! I don't see any record in the Scripture where any of the disciples were forced to stay or any parents were forcibly interfered with.
BEFORE ANSWERING QUESTIONS GET NAMES & ADDRESSES
9. TAKE A CUE FROM JESUS! ON VISITORS WHO ASK QUESTIONS, BUT REFUSE TO GIVE YOU ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THEMSELVES, in THIS case, you don't have to do it! Get their NAME & ADDRESS for the record, BEFORE you answer any questions! This is standard security procedure by guards in many sensitive public buildings! If they won't give you their name, they don't deserve any information of any kind! Jesus said, "If ye will not answer Me this question, neither will I answer you your question." You have a perfect right to know their name & to ask that they sign the guestbook, & if possible, get their address before you answer any questions regarding personnel, doctrines or otherwise. Even in the business world, it's very acceptable & unobjectionable procedure with callers: "May we have your name, please?" ... "And who are you with or what company do you represent?", & it is standard policy for the caller to even present his business card with all the details.
10. THIS IS BIG BUSINESS--THE LORD'S BUSINESS, THE BIGGEST IN THE WORLD! We can hardly do less than they & we can learn some lessons from their experience, for, as Jesus said, "The children of this World are wiser in their generation than the children of light," believe it or not! This seems usually true when it comes to business & the practical affairs of this World--Christians seem to be pretty dumb, while the Devil's pretty smart! We could even learn a few tips from his dandy bad example: Handle potential enemies with kid gloves, sweet talk & the utmost patient diplomacy & avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble!
FOLLOWING UP ON FRIENDLY OFFERS
11. HOW ARE FRIENDLY VISITORS HANDLED? Don't allow these offers to be just buried in the record & then forgotten. Invite them to dinner & go see the place now! The showing of genuine GRATITUDE & APPRECIATION of such help immediately tends to make a preferred friend even more friendly & inclined to befriend you again. But careless & unwelcome treatment of such visitors & negligence with their offers & a manifest lack of concern, can lose them forever! This is why I always like the Words of Jesus better than any other part of the Bible! He was always the peacemaker, never the rabble-rouser & certainly not usually the one to deliberately stir up trouble! It was all voluntary, all "Whosoever will" & "COME unto ME" & "I will DRAW all men unto ME," not force them! This is the Age of Grace, not Works, the Age of Volition, not Compulsion.
HOW TO KEEP YOUR VISITOR'S LOG
12. IN ALL VISITOR'S LOGS, INCLUDE THE EXACT NAME OF WHO IS DEALING WITH WHOM, THE SUBJECT OF THEIR VISIT & THE OUTCOME. If you can't get their ADDRESS, get their LICENSE NUMBER--it could come in handy if they cause any trouble! Whatever you do, DON'T TAKE THE LAW INTO YOUR OWN HANDS--let the police do it! In addition, names & addresses should be accurately spelled & included in the log for the sake of including friendly visitors on the mailing list. You should issue a regular, explanatory promotional prayer letter! WHAT EVER YOU DO, YOU MUST NOT NEGLECT THEM, IGNORE THEM OR BE UNAPPRECIATIVE OF THEM! YOU NEED THEM! Don't knock it, use it! You've got the best excuse in the world to ask for their help! You're helping their little Johnny--you could use THEIR help, too!
WRITING PARENTS & HANDLING THEM WITH LOVE
13. ONE OF THE SUREST WAYS TO PACIFY A PARENT is not to immediately take up the cudgel of the Word & start beating him over the head with it, hoping he'll beat a hasty retreat, but TO SHOW HIM YOU SYMPATHISE WITH HIM, UNDERSTAND HIS CONCERN & AGREE WITH HIS MISGUIDED EFFORTS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. "I certainly don't blame you for being concerned about your little Johnny, which is only right, as you should be as a loving parent; but never fear, he's in good hands, in spite of all you've heard about us & if you don't believe it, here he is, happy & cheerful, safe & sound!" And don't hesitate to present him or they're bound to think you have something to hide & call the cops.
14. LET THEM SEE A SAMPLE! LET THEM SEE HIM!--DON'T JUST GIVE THEM A SERMON! YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME! They won't listen to anything until they've seen Little Johnny! They don't want to hear anything but his dear, sweet voice. But all your efforts are going to do no good if Little Johnny himself comes in breathing fire & smoke & blasting away with salvo after salvo of denunciatory Scriptures, immediately berating them & condemning them & consigning them to everlasting fire & torment without a word of consolation! "Honour thy father & thy mother that thy days may be long in the land, & verily thou shalt be fed," which Jesus said was "the first commandment with promise." It can really reap good dividends to make friends out of enemies, helpers out of hinderers & at least pacify the public!
15. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE LOVE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. If the parent is absolutely impossible & implacable, I suggest trying to send Little Johnny to [another Home if he so desires] where it won't be so easy for them to get their hands on him & so take the heat off of you! [J]ust tell'm the honest truth, that he's now transferred to another course of training in one of our other locations & you'll be happy to give them his new address, if they'd like to write him! You're sure he'd be happy to reply & tell them what a wonderful time he's having! Or, he's on a field trip somewhere & as soon as you hear from him, you'll tell him to write so they'll know he's O.K. Most parents just want to make sure they're still alive, unharmed & happy--but when they don't hear from them for months, they're bound to be concerned!
16. MAKE IT COMPULSORY FOR THE DISCIPLES TO WRITE THEIR PARENTS ONCE IN A WHILE, so that the parents will rest at ease that at least he's still alive & they're not so apt to call out the Romans to look for him!
17. FEEL SORRY FOR THESE POOR PARENTS, HAVE COMPASSION ON THEM, AS JESUS DID! "Bless them ... do good to them ... & pray for them ... that ye may be the children of your Father which is in Heaven," no matter what they do! Keep sweet! You may have to explain the truth about them to their children, but for God's sake, DON'T slap the parents in the face with it! Try to have a little sympathy, a little empathy, put yourself in their shoes, try to think how they feel, since they're ignorant & don't know any better & don't really understand what you're trying to do & have heard all kinds of lies & wild talk about you! Try to understand & explain with loving patience & sympathy! Love the sinner, but not the sin! Love the Systemite, but not the System! Love the person, even if you don't like his point of view! This is true in all of your witnessing!
18. DWELL ON THE POSITIVE, NOT THE NEGATIVE, discuss the things you have in COMMON, not your differences, & try to establish as many points in common as you can, instead of picking out the flaws! You need to know what the Scripture meaneth, when Jesus said, "I will have mercy & not sacrifice" & when Paul wrote, "Love throws a veil over countless sins!"
Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family