the Grapevine
(Issue #23; July 15, 1997)
kidbits
tender treasures ...
* Nathalie Rose, 1st child, born to Hungarian Victoria and Christian. -- England
* Adam, 1st child, born to Hungarian Pearl and Peter. -- Hungary
* Elisabeth, born to Joan and Davide. -- Italy
* Terence Anthony Steward, 3rd child, born to SGAs Esther and Thomas. -- Slovakia
* Bobdan, 1st child, born to Yugoslavian Sara and Romanian Levi. -- Romania
* Katie Charlotte, born to Gina and Matthew. -- England
* Sylvia Migrant, born to Faithy and Peter. -- Hungary
* Julia Jane Newlove, born to Pat and Emanuele. -- Italy
* Andrea, born to Ruth and Jonathan. -- Italy
* Alin Gabriel, born to Christina Rose and Peter. -- Romania
* Nadia, born to Maria and Gabe. -- Russia
* Diletta Apocalisse, born to Esther and Paolo. -- Italy
* James, born to Trust and Josue. -- Spain
* Jannette Michele, 1st child, born to Paloma and Daniel. -- Hungary
* Esteban Daniel, born to Faith and Josue on April 22nd. -- USA
* Casey Jordan, 5th child, born to Dawn on April 25th. -- USA
* Derek Allen, born to Mercy and Solomon on May 1st. -- USA
backtracking ...
Got the name wrong. ... Sorry, little man!
* Kevin Leif Bradyn, born to Cryssy and Cesco. -- Japan
tying the knot ...
* Gabriel and Luz Angela were married on May 19th. The six Homes in the Madrid area had a nice fellowship together. Miguel led a simple, but moving ceremony. All the Homes contributed food and drinks; teens Juan Andres and Miriam sang songs on the keyboard and guitar; and Samuel, Aaron and teen Crystal performed a fun and professional clown and puppet show. -- Spain
new disciples:
* Polish Luke and Maria, with their two kids, Aaron (6) and Ania (1), joined in Wroclaw, Poland.
* Croatian Stefan and Sanya (couple), joined in Ljubljana, Slovenia.
* Romanian Trusty Luminita (19) joined in Bucharest, Romania.
* Romanian Stefan (21) joined in Bucharest, Romania.
brotherhood
Canada
(From Dust:) We just finished a four-day camp for JETTs, teens and YAs with our VS team (Ahlai, Miguel and Meeky) and the DC Band and show. It was a blast! We also held video meetings for the adults in the Toronto/Ottawa area, where they viewed the delegates' meetings and Summit videos. Our Family in Canada has now seen almost all of the Summit and delegates' meeting videos!
Pakistan
(From ASCRO:) Anne CRO and YA Daniella are now visiting Pakistan (en route to the Mideast), where they were able to show some of the delegates' meeting videos, and will then attend a camp for all the JETTs and junior teens in Pakistan.
Philippines
(From ASCRO:) In the latter part of June, an eight-day JETT/teen camp was held at a nice farm outside Manila. A total of 20 JETTs and teens attended, with six adults and YAs helping to shepherd the camp. They enjoyed inspiring fellowship together, and viewed selected Summit and delegates' meeting videos.
legal and media
Eastern Europe
-- Ukraine: A Christian TV station broadcast the Russian KVs and TAs, reaching 300,000 viewers in Bieli Tserkov and Odessa. On May 5th, Jonathan and Lena gave a short interview with Channel 7 in Odessa, where they sang some songs and gave the Salvation message, reaching an audience of over one million people.
-- Moldova: "Cureirul de Seara" published a positive article about Dust, Diamond and Pavel's CTP ministry. The front-page article was published in both the Romanian and Russian editions.
-- Hungary: ZTV continues to broadcast clips of the KVs and TAs twice a week, reaching 600,000 viewers in Budapest and other parts of Hungary.
Africa
-- Nigeria: Radio Rivers (2.5 million listeners) occasionally broadcasts The Lion, Dragon and the Beast CD in English. Radio Calabar also occasionally broadcasts the CD, reaching 1.5 million listeners.
Russia
(From European Media Desk:) We've received copies of articles from Moscow regarding the anti-religious freedom legislation that is currently being discussed in the Duma (Russian parliament). This legislation protects Russians' traditional faiths (Orthodox Christian, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism) while severely restricting activities of other religious groups and missionaries (including evangelical Christians, etc.). Religious groups that have officially existed in Russia for less than 15 years would not be allowed to own property, worship in public or publish literature. Foreigners could only do missionary work if invited by a Russian religious organization. Although this legislation is worse than the earlier drafts from several years ago which had been vetoed by Yeltsin, it looks like he will not veto it this time, as he wants to curry favor with the Orthodox Church.
We're desperately praying that the Lord will somehow intervene regarding this legislation, because if it's passed into law and enforced, it could seriously hinder our work in Russia.
Western Europe
(From Marc and Claire [USA]:) The ACM is gaining strength throughout Europe. One academic recently gave us the following chronological list of events of how things have developed in Europe. As you will see, the foundation for the tightening up of religious freedom is being built now. It's very sobering to see how hard the Devil is working to stop the Lord's message from getting out. Please pray for the Family in these countries. You know it's a serious attack on religion when you see that the Enemy is not only attacking smaller groups like us, but also groups within the Catholic Church, and Jewish groups as well.
February 1997: The French report on cults was extremely negative and recommended measures be taken against cults.
March 1997: The Geneva report on cults was released. The report was much milder than similar past reports, but the proposals themselves are much harsher. Extreme anti-cultists were appointed to the commission. Anti-brainwashing legislation will be introduced in Switzerland as federal legislation in August.
April 1997: The Belgian report on cults was made. 187 groups were listed in this report as cults, including five Catholic groups (two of which have members that are top Vatican officials), thus spurring the Vatican to action. Even Jewish groups are being attacked, in particular the Hasidic Jews. The report proposed that one Catholic group ("the Work") be eliminated altogether. Since the Prime Minister of Italy is a member of the Work, this caused no small stir in the Catholic world.
May 1997: The European Parliament appointed the UN Rapporteur* to do a report on cults. Anti-cultists won a Russian court case. (rapporteur: One who is designated to give a report, as at a meeting.)
Life in Africa
-- Excerpts from Lisa's (CRO) reports, during a visitation trip
Upon arrival in Nigeria, the airport looked more like a cargo depot than an international airport! It was difficult to get around because of all the cardboard boxes and other sundry items stacked and scattered all over. Lagos looks like a mixture between Colombo, Sri Lanka, and Brazil, only much more rundown. It is a tough and wild country.
The team here is so on fire and full of faith, it's inspiring! Their faith has really grown through living in these tough situations, and the Lord does great miracles for them! They have a nice house, and I'm writing this while shivering in my air-conned room. Nothing works very well here, though; most of the nicer houses are self-sufficient with separate water tanks, filled every second or third day, and a generator for electricity. At present, the Home is running the generator more than usual so that they can watch the Summit/delegates' meeting videos, therefore the cold house.
There is a fuel shortage in Nigeria (one of the largest oil exporters to the US), so it's a daily miracle when we have enough diesel fuel for the generator and gas for the car. None of the Homes have telephones, as they're difficult to get and very expensive. When they want to make a phone call they either go to a friend's house or to a phoning center -- which is unlike anything I've seen anywhere else. The Lord did a big miracle, in that a brother from the other Home (10 hours away by car, and with no possibilities for phone communications) came by on the very day I arrived, so we were able to also arrange for a visit with their Home.
I'm so excited about the witnessing here! There are so many special people with depth and hunger. It makes up for all the hardships and inconveniences. I went out with a team of kids to sing for the sweet lady who has been helping them with fuel for their generator. We had a wonderful time of fellowship with this lady and she has now promised three more barrels of fuel for the generator, plus gasoline for the car. Others are waiting in line for days for very expensive fuel, and here the Lord is giving it to His children for free. The Home has not had to stop their activities for one minute due to a lack of fuel.
(A week later:) I really feel like I'm hiding away in the jungle, ha! This is 6:00 in the morning. I'm sitting in semi-darkness on my bed, with my computer running on battery power. In an hour's time, the water tanker will arrive and then we'll turn the generator on for half an hour to fill up the tank. I'll recharge the computer and we'll head out with the tanker to find a car to take us to the airport. The Home's car just broke down while driving through flooded roads, as it is rainy season. Parts of the roads look like rivers, and if you hit a pothole, you suddenly find yourself in water up to the hood of the car, which actually happened to one of our teams, hence the car is out of commission now!
At the airport we are going to provision a flight to Port Harcourt (city in Nigeria), so I'm excitedly looking forward to the miracles the Lord will do. I am on my way to visit the other Home. There is no way of communicating with them of our arrival, so this is going to be a fun faith trip. (Update: We were able to provision both our flight and the taxi ride to the Home!)
The Home here is just being set up, with the most recent team arriving here only three weeks ago. Last night we went out for a provisioned meal and witnessed further to one of their Lebanese friends. There are lots of oil workers and refineries here. At night it never gets completely dark, because the fires from the oil fields light up the horizon.
Additionally, Aaron and Oli were able to provision a 50% discount on my ticket from here to Kenya, on Air Cameroon! The team here said they were so happy that it was Air Cameroon I'm traveling on. The alternative would have been Air Ethiopia, and the team here hasn't had such great experiences with them -- like it was raining inside the plane during a thunderstorm, ha!
I'm learning how it is for the teams being here month after month with very little communication, God bless them. One positive thing, though, is that they have lots of time to witness, pioneer and do other important things that truly count for eternity! God bless them!
movie ratings
Movies Rated for Senior Teens and Up
TRIGGER EFFECT, THE (1996)
Elisabeth Shue, Kyle MacLachlan
Psychological drama about a suburban couple caught in the chaos following a massive countrywide power blackout that cuts off all forms of communication, and their struggle to cope with the social meltdown that follows. Not to everyone's liking, but offers an interesting -- though uncomfortable -- view of worldly people's reactions to unexpected disasters. Many points for discussion.
Movies Rated for Junior Teens and Up
ASSOCIATE, THE (1996)
Whoopie Goldberg, Dianne West
Comedy about a female Wall Street investment adviser who goes to unusual lengths to get ahead in the business world. Not suggested for younger audiences due to the deceit factor. (Please note that the conclusion is not a realistic portrayal of the legal system.)
FATHERS' DAY (1997)
Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Nastassja Kinski
Comedy about two men who are recruited by a former girlfriend of both of them to search for her runaway teenage son, whom she tells each of the men is his.
Movies Rated for JETTs and Up
EMMA (1996)
Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeremy Northam
Romantic comedy based on the novel by Jane Austen, about a young woman who enjoys matchmaking and engineering the romantic lives of others. Lessons on love, kindness, and being genuine.
Movies Rated for OCs and Up
SARAH, PLAIN AND TALL (1991)
Glenn Close, Christopher Walken
Heartwarming character study set in the early 1900s, about a headstrong spinster from New England who answers an ad for a mail-order wife placed by a stoic Kansas widower with two children.
SKYLARK (1993)
Glenn Close, Christopher Walken
Sequel to "Sarah, Plain and Tall," following the lives of the family on the prairies. Lessons about pulling together and not losing faith during hardship.
Non-Recommended Movies
DESPERADO (Antonio Banderas; 1995)
pioneering
China
(From Mike and Vicki:) After spending a night on the train, we arrived at our destination -- Beijing. Beijing impressed us as being beautiful and cheap! Our average meal costs 60 cents (US) per person -- far cheaper than anywhere else we have been in China. The people, including the foreign backpack tourists, are so sheepy.
We were able to witness to many during our first road trip, which lasted three days. On our second road trip to Beijing, we won our first soul! We were reading the Bible at our hotel restaurant while waiting for breakfast, when the waitress came up and asked us what we were reading. She exclaimed that she had a picture of Jesus in her house. We showed her John 3:16 and she prayed with us to receive Jesus.
The main purpose of our third road trip was to visit this dear girl who had gotten saved on our last trip. While witnessing, we stumbled into a new bookshop where we found a book called "100 Bible Stories," selling for $2. It's in English (New King James version) and Chinese, with complete stories of Creation, the Flood, the birth of Jesus, John 3, Matthew 24, etc. When we met our friend, we gave her one of these books as a present. She took us out to a very nice dinner, which cost $8 (over 1/10th of her monthly salary!), but she refused to let us pay, as she was so thankful for the present that we had miraculously found for her.
We have been in China for three months now, and every day is a miracle for us. So far we have over 70 newfound friends visiting our Home! Two Chinese "yuppies" come over three times a week to volunteer their time to teach our children Chinese. The city's TV station came to the school that our children are attending, and chose our kids to perform for the upcoming children's day program. They said our kids are always happy and cheery. In many ways we are trying to be as low profile as possible, but we just can't hide the light that is within us! Please pray for us. Thank you!
what's up?
A lasting impression
England
(From Mary Colombe:) Do you remember the story "Alone in London" in which Dad and Mama were received into a hippie commune? Well, that evening I happened to be visiting those very hippies, and that's where I met Dad and Mama! Recently, through a mutual friend, I got back in touch by mail with my old hippie friend who ran that commune. Through all those years he kept a very special memory of Dad, and he said to me over the phone, "He used some of his 'magic' on me!"
I went to the States recently to see him. He is now a businessman. Though our meeting was short, it was inspiring. He shared with me how Dad had discerned his desperation at the time, and had helped him through a rough time in his life. I showed him the "Now It Can Be Shown" booklet and shared about our work. He was very enthusiastic and wants to support us.
Vics for the month
Albania
(From Juan and Letizia:) The Lord miraculously kept us through this war-like situation [the recent civil unrest throughout the country] and supplied abundantly for us. He kept us from stray bullets and the gangs that were breaking into houses. The airport has reopened and the postal service has started again. (Editor's note: Those of us who live in relatively calm surroundings can sure count our blessings! Please pray for the safety of our Family in countries experiencing war or civil strife.)
Lesson on humanitarian aid shipments
Russia
(From Peter:) A dear brother arranged to get his visa with an Academy of Science (a social organization helping organizations with CTP and cultural events) as a folk dance teacher. So when he went to the States, he arranged for a shipment of humanitarian aid, using their name as the consignees.
When the shipment arrived in Vladivostok, Russian Steven and Lily went to pick it up, but ended up having to do three weeks' worth of paperwork. We then found out that besides food aid, there was a lot of musical and electronic equipment -- all things that weren't listed -- which put us in an awkward situation. When customs finally checked the shipment, it turned out that besides the equipment, the brother had shipped his personal stuff as well. The last straw was when they found a pack of three big US Navy knives (before joining the Family this fellow had been in the Navy). The officials in Vladivostok got scared and dropped the project, so now we have to start from scratch as the shipment has been sent to Khabarovsk.
These items found in the shipment makes it look like things (including weapons) are being smuggled in, which puts the Academy of Science in violation of the custom laws. Also, this brother may face criminal charges if and when he returns to Russia. Of course, we don't know what the end result will be, as it depends on what kind of case customs will make out of it. (Editor's note: Dear Family, please be sure to follow all the system regulations in matters like this so that the Family and friends will not be in jeopardy. Please pray that no harm will come to this brother, the Family or the Academy of Science from this incident!)
Keanu gets tract
USA
(From Pearl [17, of David and Rose]:) We were going to the embassy in NY to get our visas for Russia, and I saw Keanu Reeves. I decided to go over and give him a tract, which was all I had with me. As I approached him, one of his bodyguards said, "Excuse me, ma'am, not now." But I went ahead and gave it to him anyway. He took it very sweetly and said thank you.
Meeting the President
Chile
(From Chris, Susana and Josh:) We recently gave a tape to the President of Chile, Eduardo Frei. Chris was on his way to town when he passed by a house where they were setting up chairs and a podium for a speech. We were able to give him a Fear Not tape in Spanish, and offered to sing for him in the future.
Consider the Family
Brazil
(From Thiago:) No, this title is not a mistake. Instead of a "Consider the Poor" ministry, the Lord led us to have a "Consider the Family" ministry! We began receiving an abundance of goods through provisioning, and started sharing it with other Homes in the country (2,400 boxes sent off last year!). Some Homes are 4,000 km. away, yet the Lord has supplied the transportation of these goods for free! Alongside our CTF ministry, we also began distributing basic necessities to the employees of the transportation companies (most of whom have large families and small salaries), which has been an efficient method of consolidating many friends and donors of goods and services.
To China MM donors
Japan
(From Chinese Becky:) We'd like to give you a brief report on how your donations to the China Mail Ministry have been supporting the Chinese work. They have helped to:
1) cover all the shipping costs of 160 letters and 25 packages
2) send 20 videotapes and 70 audio tapes to China
3) produce 50 cassettes of Bible audio tapes, in Chinese and English
4) pay for and send out witnessing tools such as Bibles, GP DMs, and other Family literature
5) send about 150,000 Japanese yen ($ 1,304) from all of you donors to our Chinese brethren (including the designated funds and paying for special needs ordered from China)
6) upgrade our equipment and enable us to work on a Simplified Chinese Lit project for mainland China
We couldn't have done this without your giving and sacrifices. Please keep our Chinese brethren and China Mail Ministry in your prayers. If you would like to continue helping the China Mail Ministry, please send your gifts to "Chinese Becky for China Mail Ministry, care of PACRO." Thank you so much!
Soul-winning seminars
USA
(From Victor and Love, New York City:) In a city of 25 million, we were faced with the problem of how to reach so many people with the Gospel when we are so few. [As reported in the 1996 YEAR and "What a Family!" (a soon-to-be-pubbed FIA mag)], the Lord gave us the idea of offering to conduct "Witnessing and Soul-Winning Seminars" in churches.
We found that in many congregations there were people who sincerely wanted to win souls, but they faced two common obstacles: 1) not knowing how, and 2) not having the faith that they could do it. Every church where we have held such a seminar has witnessed a soul-winning explosion right under their own roof! The Lord has usually raised up a handful in each congregation to carry on as regular witnessers, and the result has been hundreds of souls won, indigenous CTP programs being set up, and an increase in church membership.
Perhaps the most spectacular result has been in an African-American church in Harlem, which witnessed a membership rise from 120 to over 400 in just six months. After a Sunday morning sock-it-to-'em Bible class on witnessing, we followed the next two Thursday nights with practical how-to witnessing classes based on the "Wonder Working Witnessing" class in the Treasures book, along with songs and skits performed by the YAs. The third Thursday evening, we went out, divided into small teams with one of us on each team, and went witnessing together on the streets of Harlem. That church hasn't been the same since! The pastor is thrilled with the results and has asked us to return weekly. They now have eight to ten regular outreachers.
As compensation for the time that we invest in these churches, they have been happy to share financially with us, usually through love offerings and/or sales of our tapes and videos. A hot item has been the Word Basics book. One Spanish-speaking church ordered Treasures for all their adult members.
The church in Harlem gave us a check for half of our rent for going witnessing once a week with their outreachers! The pastor of another church donated a car and acquired a van that we can use anytime we need it. One month he also paid our rent and utility bills, and another month donated a good computer which we sent to the Russian work. This church ministry has not only been a means to broaden our soul-winning and CTP base, but has also proven to be a good source of supply. Anyone interested in finding out more can contact us via e-mail: ProjectAid@aol.com.
DC '97
USA
(From Ahlai:) The DC Band and Show Troupe is alive and well, with new members, singers, dancers, emcees -- a whole new 1997 Band and Show, and some exciting bookings and opportunities of musical service ahead! We sure miss all the teens/YAs/SGAs who have passed through our Home, but we're proud of our "alumni," the heritage they've left us and the trails they blazed before going on to bigger jobs and far-flung fields.
It's been a hard act to follow! But under the able direction of Miguel and Vas, and with striking costumes brought to you by Cherish and Co., the new '97 DC Band and Show now combines the pizzazz and professionalism of Japan with the discreet, musically avant-garde taste of DC in a rare new blend of East meets West with the never-changing message of the Revolution! God bless Sam and Esther, Cherish and Sam L. (Home teamworkers) who coordinate the daily traffic control and shepherding.
We just finished a weekend of performances for the Alexandria Waterfront Festival, sponsored by the Red Cross and attended by 80,000 people. Miguel, Tim Handyman (of Susanna) and guys built a fantastic booth for the event. We witnessed, held a raffle, clowned, and sold our matchless videos round the clock at this well-known metropolitan festival.
On the Show Troupe front, lovely Meeky, Joni, Lisa and Charity (from Hawaii) dance to hot new numbers and back up the all-new DC Band raised up right from our ranks under Vas' inspiration and management. Note the perhaps younger set, but with a very seasoned sound, as along with Vas (lead guitar and vocals), are none other than Mike (17, drums) and Soly (17, bass) with Sam (sound) and Miguel emceeing! Not for the faint-hearted; not to be missed! We're now taking the show on the road for variety and to perform at JETT and teen camps. Keep us in your prayers! -- We need 'em!
Stolen tape
Asia
(From Mark Free:) "Someone stole my tape again!" was what one of our friends told us when we recently went to give her a Word class. She said this was the third time that someone who had come to her home had stolen her Fear Not tape. She then proceeded to purchase another copy from us -- her fourth in the last few months. Ha! This tape is a super hit and everyone who hears it wants to get a copy, and many times they take one for their friends too.
Road trip fun
Philippines
(From Christina [17], Mark [16] and Promise [15]:) We went to this far-flung island called Masbate, which is a 16-hour bus ride, a one-hour jeep ride, and a four-hour ferry trip away from Manila! We got free bus tickets and set off to a place where they haven't seen the tools for 12 years. A sweet doctor gave us free accommodations for a week. We met very sweet and hospitable people, and got out 180 tapes, 20 videos, tons of posters and tracts, and won 320 souls.
One highlight was a guy we met while tapenessing named Bobby. He got a Fear Not and asked to see us later. He introduced us to all his relatives, who subsequently bought videos and tapes. When we met his brother, we found out that they had gotten a Heaven's Magic tape when they were kids, and they sang portions of the songs for us. Bobby came witnessing with us to two nearby towns. He helped by translating for us, and recommended the tools to all! The best school there is run by six Italian Sisters, who bought all our videos and the Great Adventures tapes, saying they really needed quality educational material.
Church vision
USA
(From Lea [19, of Dom and Free]:) One day my dad and I were out racking our brains to find some new method of witnessing and fundraising. Our "vision of grandeur" of money falling from the sky just wasn't materializing. The Lord led us to a pastor who invited us to come to his all-black church to share with them about our work in Russia, which we did. They were very touched and took up a love offering for us, GBT!
English camp
Russia
(From Francis P.:) In June we held a three-week English camp for 180 children, ages 8 to 15. The camp was organised by our king, and run by one adult and six YAs. We also had the help of 11 other Russian teachers. It was a huge job, but also a beautiful experience, teaching us many lessons on responsibility, hard work and prayerfulness.
In addition to the good fruit it bore in the lives of the children who attended, we also gained substantial financial assistance for our local work: 180 videos were sold, 140 souls saved, and we met many top families, as the children of the city fathers attended. Since it was the first "all-English" camp in our region, several newspaper articles and two TV programs featured our camp. We also gave several radio interviews.
cute kids
* As we were driving north from the border to go on a road trip, we had to pass through a police checkpoint. Isaac (6), who had been asleep in the back seat, woke up as they waved us through, asking, "Are they looking for any illegal rugs?" -- Victory, USA
* While on a walk with the kids on a deserted road, we were approached by some stray dogs. As they got closer, Anthia (4) looked up at me and said a little nervously, "You know, dogs are a lot like Jesus -- they go with you wherever you go!" -- Promise, Taiwan
your views on issues
Living by faith
Madagascar
(From Peace [of Eman]:) We've entered the exciting world of living by faith! After seven years of living in the lush lowlands receiving government benefits, I had no idea how flabby my faith muscles had become. I feel like pleading to those in home fields to do more to live by faith for their own sakes, because the day is coming when we will all have to, and it is such a shock if you're not used to it. I had been desperate to get out of Australia and thought, "Well, our survival instinct is pretty strong. Once we get out there, it'll come back to me and then I'll do it." Well, that's been the case all right; in fact, the Lord has thrown us in the deep end. But I would have had an easier time if I'd learned to swim where it was easier.
Money or no money
USA
(From Simon [CRO]:) There has been much discussion amongst our young people concerning fund-raising in the Family. Many of their comments concerning being "burnt out" are valid, and are concerns that we have been talking and praying about. Part of the problem may stem from not giving our young people the correct vision about the importance and priority that the Lord puts on getting out His Words. The end result or purpose of our witnessing is not to bring in money. The goal of witnessing is to win the world for Jesus.
I do believe that we have to "bring our ranching up-to-date" to meet the needs of the '90s, but shouldn't all our new ideas and methods help us to get out the Words in more abundance? I'm not saying that we have to be on the streets to get out the message, but I don't think we should necessarily get off the streets either until the Lord clearly indicates that or does something different.
Dad's vision, which we all know is the Lord's vision, was to strive to get the message out in whatever way and by whatever means we possibly can! I feel we need to make sure that the emphasis in our witnessing is not on the dollar bill, but the needy soul.
Leaving home at 16?
Asia
(From Mark Free:) I've noticed that in many cases, as soon as teens turn 16, many want to leave home or move into a Home with other teens and JETTs. This is fine and a blessing for them, but in many cases it leaves the poor parents with no extra help for their many younger children. We have eight children under the age of 13, and oftentimes we think what a blessing it would be to have someone who could be a part of our team to help us. The Rom.8:28 in our situation is that the Lord raised up our two eldest to be bellwethers and outreach partners for us, and most of all, He's made us fighters!
Conviction against cursing
Brazil
(From an FGA:) We live in a large city and have regular teen/YA dances for the area. I really enjoy the dancing and fellowshipping with our young people. They're the greatest! During a dance night, I noticed one girl who was having trouble fixing something and started cursing. I have heard teens cursing now and then, and it made me wonder if this is a big problem amongst teens nowadays. If so, are they correcting each other to keep up the standard, or are they just letting it slide -- eventually being sucked into this very vulgar, non-Christ-like habit?
By helping others
USA
(From E.J.:) After becoming a TSer, I knew I had to do something with my life, and not just "vegetate" here in the States. After four years of supporting the work in the East, I can truly say I've never lacked for anything, materially or spiritually! I've had trials and battles, of course, but it seemed like something was spurring me on to win! I'd like to encourage others to help the brethren in poorer nations, so they too may find great peace and victory!
I'm wondering ...
Q: We have received our baby bonus and are wondering if we can receive another one, since we are having twins? -- David and Libertie, Japan
A: (From WS:) Yes! Baby bonuses are awarded per baby. -- Congratulations on your twins! We love you!
Q: When exactly do we become adults? The Charter says that once you turn 21, you're an adult -- meaning you can enjoy the same rights and freedoms a 40-year-old can. But it seems if you were born in the Family, you'll never really be an adult by name, as there is always some label being put on those under 30 (e.g.: EA, YA, SGA). Is there hope of ever being a "real" adult? -- from Marie (YA), SACRO
A: (Grapevine Editors:) Once a young person turns 21, as stated in the Charter, they are an adult -- plain and simple, whether from the first or second generation. You may have noticed that in the recent Grapevines, we have cut down our usage of the terms YA and SGA, for this very reason.
Many people find it interesting to know how old the person writing in is, and depending on what is being commented on, it can be helpful to know what age bracket the person is in, as it helps understand what "angle" they're coming from; in other cases, it makes no difference. If folks don't include their age, then you're left wondering, "I wonder if Mary [of John] is a first or second generation adult?" In cases where the author does not want to be named, we often put "female/male SGA" (for example), to at least put some kind of a handle on who's writing in. Other than that, we're trying not to "YA" and "SGA" young people all the time!
This is our general Grapevine policy; however, please note that in the GNs, as Mama has previously explained, when addressing the whole Family, she often has to make a distinction when addressing the FGAs (First Generation Adults) and the SGAs (Second Generation Adults) -- even though all are "adults," because some issues may be more relevant to one generation than the other. But for pubs other than the GNs, please send in your age, and we'll try to drop the "YA/SGA" label.
studio news
-- from the HCS studios
(Compiled by Teri [20]:) Below are some of the exciting projects that are underway -- both new and old. Please bear in mind that projects listed below are the "big vision," so some of these could take longer than we anticipate. We are pioneering ways to get things out faster, but learning new things always takes time. Our sincere hope, prayer and goal is to stick with these "dates of departure." Your prayer power is greatly appreciated and needed!
EMV
(From YAs Suzy and Philly for the EMV team:) We are at long last seeing the light at the end of the EMV tunnel. Just two more songs to go! Hurray! After being put on the back burner in favor of TAs, the EMV began being final-edited on January 1st, 1997. At present there is about a month left of editing, and one month to finalize the audio work on the video.
We also moved from a temporary studio set-up that we nicknamed "The Submarine" (let's just say the accommodations were less than spacious) to a beautiful newly made studio. By the time you read this, we will probably be wrapping up the final edits on this video. Our goal is to have the EMV completed by the middle of September, and to the Homes by Christmas. Sorry these things take so long, but there's a lot involved in making a video like this! -- "That banana there!"
Treasure Attic
At present, we are finishing up the filming of the remaining shots for Treasure Attic shows #9-13 (due to be completed by September '97), the titles which are as follows:
* TA #9: Around the World
* TA #10: Happy and Healthy
* TA #11: Our Beautiful World
* TA #12: Peepers and Penny (Penny is a new character -- Peeper's sister!)
* TA #13: On the Air -- Sing Along!
DO Videos
In order to undertake a new vision for the Treasure Attic shows, (which will be announced in an upcoming GN) the Lord showed us to wind down our DO video work for a while. We have roughly 17 spots that had already been filmed for Family Fun, so our DO editor is now finishing these up, and will then go on to help with GP editing. Hopefully we will have finished all the pending DO work in the IVM's court by the end of August, and then will go on to major on the TAs. Of course, BVM will continue to film and produce as they have been, so the Family Funs will keep coming your way!
JAS
The JAS team has been "tapping in" to the music of the Spirit. So far we have seven new songs, all received through prophecy! This new way of getting songs through prophecy is just amazing and extremely inspiring. For the months of June and July, the JAS team is producing 13 songs for the TA shows in the works. There are several tapes in the works which all our Family studios are working on (goal for completion noted in parentheses): a GP adult tape (July), Loving Jesus #3 (August), Praise Time tape (September).
Other Updates
On the Home side of things, we're quite a fruitful vine -- obeying the Lord's first commandment and continuing to multiply! We were recently blessed with four new little darlings, and we also have nine pregnant mothers! -- An all-time high of 13 pregnant and nursing mommies. (Ah, so it seems that the editors aren't the only ones who have been working nights )
Instead of having two full-time teen shepherds, there is now a team of four YAs/SGAs dubbed the "teen/YA teamwork" (each also has another full-time ministry). They organize devotions and activities for the teens and YAs. This has helped us all unite more and enjoy each other's fellowship. It's amazing that in a Home with 44 young people, you sometimes hardly see other young people outside of those who work in the same ministry as you. We've been exercising our spiritual muscles by having Loving Jesus inspirations and taking time to hear from the Lord together.
We had a new push in the Home where the ministry folks (IVM, JAS, Office, etc.) help in the Home (kitchen, childcare, staff, etc.) for one day out of each month. It's been fun and has helped everyone to share the workload.
There is a team of three who have been doing an incredible job of fixing up various areas around the camp, while keeping up with the monumental task of keeping the Home and outside areas clean. Three cheers to Peter M., Mike and Phil! -- Our heroes! Of course, there are many more here who tirelessly labor to keep the ministries running, but we thought for this article these guys deserved some special recognition.
That brings us to the end of our update from the HCS! Thank you again for all your prayers! We love you!
mama's mailbox
Dear Mama,
For about a year, my wife and I and our six kids have been traveling. We've found it difficult to fit into the Homes we've been in, and I've started to feel like we are some sort of legalistic, out-of-fashion old bottles who haven't been able to change with the times in the Family and are eventually going to be left behind. I'm talking from my own limited experience, and I assume this is not necessarily the case in other places.
It seems as if, since the Charter, the values and convictions of the Family regarding commitment and dedication, worldliness, etc., have begun to rapidly change for the worse. I expected that the new freedoms granted in the Charter would produce at first some of the problems you've mentioned in various Letters, but the effects have taken me a bit by surprise.
My wife and I have had the dilemma of either becoming one with the ways we see the Family around us becoming, or standing up for our convictions and what we think is right. It's been difficult, especially because our teens are aware of the "freedoms" other Family young people they interact with have, not to mention the peer pressure this puts on them. I've been in the Family for 20 years, and one of the things that has kept me going has been that the Family has the best legacy anyone can offer to their kids. I want to give this heritage to them.
I think we are better prepared to fight the outside attacks of the Enemy, but I feel we are facing an inside attack that is much more difficult to handle. I thank the Lord for the "Help from Heaven" GN. It has been an answer to my prayers. I've been told that I'm a strict person. That shouldn't be a problem in itself, as long as I am strict on the right matters. I have to make sure that I don't come across legalistic or self-righteously strict, and to be more loving.
This Letter helped me to feel understood, that I'm not the only one telling my teen daughters that the worldliness they are being pushed into through peer pressure from within the Family is not right, and is against our Family convictions. I learned from this GN that I don't have to stop shepherding my children or stop standing up for what I believe are our Family principles, but that I have to do it lovingly and with humility.
-- A. (adult man), South America
Dearest Mama,
I used to be afraid of using the gift of prophecy for fear that I would get it wrong. When I lived in a large field Home, I used to always volunteer to hold the dictaphone or to take one of the kids' groups while the prophecy session was in progress. No wonder people found me so willing during those times! It's not that volunteering was wrong, but my motives weren't right.
Now when I step out and give a prophecy, I feel fulfilled, that I did my part. It's very encouraging to hear from someone that the prophecy you received for him or her was right on. It sure keeps me desperate and depending on Him! I'm thankful the Lord is helping me to exercise my gift more!
-- female YA, Japan
Dearest Mama,
I wanted to respond to the beautiful letter from one of your staff that was published in the "Mama's Mailbox" section of the Grapevine #13. For me, WS always seemed very elusive, vague, and distant. I'd more often think of WS as a collective rather than individuals. It was difficult for me to formulate any sort of impression of those there other than "they work on the mailings," "they get a lot of prophecies," and "they must all be very close to the Lord" -- which is true, of course. (Editor's note: Well, we do help work on the pubs and get prophecies, but that doesn't give us any more of an inside track on staying close to the Lord than you have!) But that letter "put skin" on WS and completely changed my outlook and perception of the dear ones who work behind the scenes. It connected me to you all in a special way and has been a great encouragement to me.
I'm just a little-ol'-nobody YA, way down at the bottom of the totem-pole, living in Thailand and doing outreach and follow-up pretty much full time. I know you love me because you've said so in the Letters, and your sample speaks of your love louder than words. I just wanted to say how much it means to know how much those who work with you are not only dedicated to serving the Lord and you and Peter, but also the Family, and how much faith they have for us, even those they've never met. They have more faith in me than I do, ha!
-- P. (20, female), Thailand
find-a-friend
-- Spring (42/single, in Brescia), looking for a sweet brother to be close to and help in outreach. Add: The Family, c.p. 77, 24064 Grumello del M. (BG), Italy
-- Rose (formerly Hephzibah of Aaron) would like to contact Chilean Anna and daughter Charity. Contact me through the Italian ABM.
-- John (of Lynn), please contact Abigail (of Clay and Brook). Add: C.P. 101 Porto Alegre, R.S. Brazil 90001-970
-- Solly (19, Taiwan) would like to contact Karenina Fisher (last heard in the US) and Aichan (last heard of in Russia). E-mail: joshjo@ms1.hinet.net or via PACRO office.
-- Venezuelan Melody (now Mercy) would like to contact Japanese Nehemiah and Rachel, and Japanese Marco (Shigeo). Contact her in Romania via the EURCRO office.
-- Paula S. (SGA, of Gideon and Sara) wants to contact Jonathan and Chris White (brothers) and David W. (foster-hubby from Chicago!). Add: Kaposvar 9, Pf.2 7409, Hungary
think deep
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.
letters to the editor
Friendship in the Family
I heartily agree with the article in Grapevine #11 about friendship in the Family (see "True love and friendship"). We all know that the Lord is leading the Family in the direction of being more loving, compassionate and understanding. We tend to so easily judge someone by their personality or their NWOs, instead of looking at their heart and their love for the Lord. I've heard a lot of gossip, especially amongst those who tend to think that they are a little more talented or popular than others, and who tend to be quite choosy about their "friends."
If we could all remember that in the Lord's eyes we are all the same, it would help us to have a more humble and loving attitude towards each other, and to see that we all need each other as friends. May the Lord help us to be that loving Family He intends for us to be.
-- an adult woman, USA
Let's meet halfway
I just read the well-articulated response from Philip (of Angela) in Switzerland, (Grapevine #20) to the "Disheartened Teen." I can certainly understand both sides of the coin here -- Philip's situation: Teens leaving the Family, being plain dead weight, and who should have made their decision to leave earlier. But I think perhaps in fields where people aren't leaving the Family in droves and where the teens pull their weight, hoof it out on the streets every day, and carry as big a load as the FGAs, it's difficult to understand such a statement -- in fact, it's totally unrelatable! To them, the biggest "problem" they're faced with is perhaps the desire to have a little more fun or excitement than maybe an FGA would want. These teens don't feel being in the Family is a test of "endurance" -- they want to be here!
I think we need to meet each other halfway and understand that fields and circumstances are different. Our "disheartened teen" needs to understand that some teens are "dead weight," which is why that was said, but others must realize that's not the case everywhere. I think we oughtta be proud of our Family young people on mission fields all over the world who are dedicated and doing all they can to reach the lost. Not to negate what the FGAs have given -- they deserve a medal!!! -- (And to you who are on the fence -- all I have to say is: "C'mon, make up your mind! Pull your full weight down or remove your weight! Sound fair?")
-- someone in ASCRO
Kenya case ... now closed
-- a couple of last thoughts from the people
I personally agree very much with what Paul in Kenya brought up (Grapevine #17, "Cool talk"). I'm 26 and some may consider me more conservative about such matters. But in the past four Homes I've lived in, pretty much all the young people have commented negatively on the usage of such terminology. When Paul wrote his blurb to the Grapevine, all the young people at my present Home cheered and agreed.
-- NTL (26), USA
Help!! Fire in the basement!! American slang is one step down from even basic Jamaican patwa. I'd say America is the only country in the world that speaks with that strange dialect. Why impose it on the rest of us?
-- JP (alias Tracy Jamaican), Brazil
support-a-missionary
-- 30-word-limit
-- (From Joshua [Bulgarian]:) I have a burden for China, but it's difficult to get a visa for the West to go fund-raising. I'd appreciate your help. E-mail: timy@banat.ro. -- Romania
-- Delhi Deaf Ministry Home: Five adults/seven kids working with the deaf for seven years now; video ministry to 350 deaf catacombers in 10 cities. WEB site: http://www.globemail.com/deafway. Add: Arun C. Rao Office #4, Mandir Market Pushp Vihar, Sec 4, New Delhi 110017.
-- Be a sister Home of our team in El Salvador. We'll send newsletters and videos of this exciting field. Many disciples and CTP. Messages via Mexican ABM or CorazonMC@aol.com.
-- We need your help in the pioneer Home of Guatemala. Lots of things happening! We cannot do it without you. GBY! Messages via Mexican ABM.
-- Emmanuel, Samuel, Jenny and children are heading to Ghana to establish a school for the exploding population of street children. Send gifts to: PO Box 10947, London N12 9DF, England.
tip of the day
-- sent in by one of you
Someone received an e-mail message titled: JOIN THE CREW. Upon opening it, it erased his hard drive. Please do not open any mail with this title. This is a new e-mail virus, and it will erase your whole hard drive! Remember the title and do not open it!
Mama on ... the Free Zine
-- jewels from intercom conversations
I read (well, listen to) the Zine from cover to cover, because I don't want to miss any of the tremendous articles in it. I hope that all our adults can take the time to at least skim through it to see what treasures they might find hidden in the pages of their young people's magazine. There's some neat stuff they may miss if they don't. Not everything in it is going to appeal to them, but there are some far-out messages from Beyond and very inspiring testimonies that personally, I would hate to miss. There's even an exciting interview with King Peter coming up.
notices
To make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important Notice About Notices. You may have noticed the increased number of notices for you to notice. We notice that some of our notices have been noticed. On the other hand, some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticeable. It is noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticeable. This notice is to remind you to notice the notices and respond to the notices, because we do not want the notice to go unnoticed.
-- Notice Committee for Noticing Notices
FAR out!
WS
(From the FAR editor:) The FAR welcomes -- and is constantly in need of -- full accounts of worthy appeal projects, written with the GP in mind. Send your brief testimony to the Grapevine, and your full account to the FAR, and "advertise" to both the Family and the world! E-mail full accounts to wspubs@ibm.net, or include them with your TRF, designated "for possible publication in the FAR." And be sure to document your project with one or more photos, if possible. To e-mail photos, scan and save them as JPEG files at no higher than 200 dpi resolution, as explained in LNF #252. (Then mail us color prints, so we can scan and add them to the Family WEB site, DV.) Be sure to include captions and photographer credits! Exciting!
Headed to Russia?
(From Jered, NUT Home:) The Russian ABM has sweetly offered to work out visas in Moscow for those coming into the country, but the most advisable thing to do is to contact the Home you're destined for before asking the ABM to work your visa out. Some Homes have cheaper ways of getting visas, and it can be a headache if you list Moscow as your official city of destination.
(From Russian ABM team:) We agree 100%! It is better for those coming to Russia to get their visas from the cities they will arrive at. However, if you cannot find someone in the city of your destination to help with the invitations, you can request our help. Our visas are legal. However, they cost more and involve travelling to Moscow to register, which is sometimes a hassle.
ideas and tips
We've found that rolling up the posters into a tube while out ballooning is very effective. We mount a display poster and have additional posters rolled in a basket for customers to take -- one with every purchase!
-- Andrew, Annie Grace and Maria, USA
Our Home appointed a "special activity committee." We agreed to have a biweekly Loving Jesus inspiration or united Home prophecy meeting. Our first Loving Jesus night was so beautiful. Our committee decorated the room with beautiful drapes and ornaments, served punch and a yummy snack, and the room was dimly lit with a large framed picture of Jesus at one end. We took turns reading poems, singing songs and saying love words to the Lord. Afterwards we danced together to Desiring You.
-- John, Angel, Nora and Cristal, Brazil
We've noticed that thank-you cards are so important to people, even more so than the monthly newsletter. People react so well to them.
-- Paul Voluntario, Ruthie V., David and Miguel, USA
rumor mill
Q: I heard that because of a low budget, the staff members in Mama's Home are only allowed to eat one meal a day. -- A concerned member
A: (From Jenna:) Dear Concerned Member, there is no need to worry! While our shepherds and business teamworker do try to save as much of the Lord's money as possible in every area, I can assure you that we eat three well-balanced meals each day and have our food needs met.
Our Home operates much the same as yours on the field, and I can testify to this, having recently come from the field. We're not "deprived" of anything -- except for contact with you, our Family, who we love and miss a lot! However, as you know, this is a sacrifice we've agreed to make for the privilege of working on the Word, and in order to protect Mama and Peter's security. We're all happy, healthy and well cared for! -- Thanks to you, our dear Family, who lovingly support us so that we here can care for Mama and Peter, and get the Lord's Words to you.
Q: I heard that some 14- and 15-year-olds are getting pregnant. Is this a new Family policy, or are the shepherds looking the other way? -- Dany, Japan
A: Fourteen and fifteen-year-olds getting pregnant is most certainly not a new Family policy! The Charter clearly outlines the Family's policy on sexual activity, and at what age it can occur. Any instances of sexual activity that are not in accordance with the guidelines outlined in the Charter are not in compliance with Family policy. And we believe that the parents and shepherds are not "looking the other way."
ws news
News from Mama's Home
We've had Stephanie, a shepherdess of one of our WS pubs units, come for a time of refreshing and refilling, and for a temporary change. (She's been helping to shepherd her unit and has lived behind the scenes for the past eight years without visiting another Family Home! Now that's dedication!)
The Lord provided a simple but cozy little apartment for our entire staff to take a couple days off at (in shifts) for Word and rest from our normally very busy pubs work. What a treat!
On our local witnessing front, we have continued to minister to our landlord and his family. We're feeding him the Word via selected Treasures articles, prophecies received for him personally, and the Bible. A highlight of the month was when two of his children prayed to receive Jesus with us! Today (as this is being written) we hosted a birthday party for one of his children at our Home, and were able to spend more time with this precious man and his family, who have been so good to us.
(From WS:) Two new arrivals (young people) joined one of our WS Homes this past month, helping to strengthen the secretarial staff for the ever increasing number of new projects and pubs in the works.
Lost children found!
-- WS pubs unit
Dear sweet Family,
Hi! I love you! This is Sally Scribe here, remember me? Well, I'm still around, in case you ever wondered, ha! Still here in the "city of buried treasure," mining the gold!
The reason for this little note is not just to tell you I'm still here, but to share with you some really good news -- that after 15 years of searching, I've found my three children: Michael, Christina and David! The last time I'd seen them they were ages 5, 3 and 1-1/2. That was when my husband at the time, Justus Ashtree, stole them away and left the Family. (If you don't know the story, you can read about it in "Problem Cases," ML #954.)
Since that time I've written many letters to the kids and to Justus and his mother (which was the only address I had), begging them to please let me get in contact with the children, but to no avail. None of my letters were ever answered. After seeing my kids again, I found out that Justus and his mother never gave them my letters and told them that I had deserted them and never written them!
All these years I've been praying for them and entrusting them to the Lord's care, and hoping and praying that one day I would be able to find them. In the meantime, the Lord gave me a new husband and six more wonderful children! Just like that verse that Dad got for me when Justus left: "For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife" (Isa.54:1). I lost three children, and the Lord gave me six in return! But I still love my first three dearly, and it's been heavy on my heart to find them and let them know I love and care about them.
So on a recent visit to see my relatives in California (whom I hadn't seen in over 20 years), my husband and I made plans to try to see if we could possibly locate my kids at the same time. We believed they were living in California, as the last clue we'd heard was that Justus was a registered nurse in Northern California.
Wish I could tell you the whole exciting story of how we found them, but suffice it to say, through a series of miracles, I found the kids and was able to meet with the two oldest, Michael and Christina. David, my younger son, was in Oregon, but I got to talk to him on the phone,. They're all "of age" now, the youngest being 18 and the oldest 22, so their father couldn't stop them from seeing me any longer!
We had a wonderful reunion! I was able to pour out my heart to them about all that happened, how much I loved them, and how I didn't desert them, but told them the truth of how they were stolen away without my knowledge and never given my letters. They were all three very loving and sweet and forgiving, and so happy to find their long-lost mom! It was great!
So that's the happy ending to my story. I'm so thrilled, as this was a big desire of my heart to find the kids and make things right with them. Now I have their addresses and phone numbers and can feed them and love them and keep in touch with them. They were all excited to find out they have five new brothers and a sister, too! Plus, I found out I'm about to become a grandmother, as Michael's girlfriend is pregnant!
I love you, dear Family! It's fun to be able to say hi to all of you out there who know and remember me! I love and remember you too! KGFG!
Yours forever in His love,
Sally xxxxxxx!
"Spirit Story" questions and answers ...
-- From Jenna and Darren, Heaven's Library Editors
Thanks again to each of you who have been praying down and sending in stories. -- Your faith and your efforts are making it possible for Heaven's Library to really roll! We hope you've been enjoying this new pub so far, and you can rest assured there's lots more where that came from!
#1: What if you get inspired to write a story, but it's not received in direct prophecy, or is not what you would consider a bona fide "spirit story." Can it still be used?
Among the many stories that have been sent to us, there have been a few that weren't received directly in prophecy, but rather the Lord led and inspired a gifted writer who then took the time to formulate the story. As Mama explained in the "Spirit Stories" GNs, the main purpose for receiving stories in the form of direct prophecies is to save time. However, some folks have taken the time to write stories -- which in some cases were written some time ago, before the Lord inspired Mama with the idea of "Spirit Stories" -- and some of these will be included in the Heaven's Library series, along with those received in direct prophecy. When praying about whether to include one such story, the Lord told us that although it wasn't received in direct prophecy, but rather written by a Family member, it was in fact a spirit story, since the writing of it was inspired by the Lord and given through His Spirit, and that all good things come from His hand.
The Lord has many gifts and jewels He wants to give us, to provide our children with the inspired reading material they need. He gives out the gifts in different ways -- to some He gives the gift of spirit stories, and to others He gives the anointing to write stories, according to their faith and desire. So, while receiving stories in prophecy is the surest way to get feeding reading, we also appreciate and will publish other stories that have been sent to us, which were not received in prophecy, but were written under the Lord's inspiration and anointing.
The Lord has also indicated that some of these "spirit stories" will be published in vehicles other than the Heaven's Library series, such as the Zine, the KIDZ Mags, etc. So if you find your story published in another mag, please don't think, "My story must not have been good enough!" That's not the case at all. -- The Lord just wanted it in a different place!
#2: The spirit story I received was published, but I noticed that there were some changes made to the story, and even some new facts added. How does this work?
You might recall that in the prophecies published in the "Spirit Stories" GNs, the Lord gave the story editors license to edit and polish the stories, in counsel with Him and our Heavenly storywriters. Most of the stories we receive are very clear and complete, and only need minor edits for the sake of the reader. However, in some cases, additional information, details, or historical backgrounds are needed to fill out the story, or the message and moral of the story needs to be clarified.
We want to assure you that we are very careful in editing the stories, and we hope you won't be hurt if any such changes have been made to the story you received. When Mama or we feel that a certain story or part of a story needs to be clarified, expounded on or explained more fully, we bring our questions before the Lord to get His answers and insight. In many cases, we ask for your spirit helper to fill in the details, or to clarify a point, which they are happy to do. We could write those of you who receive the stories, and ask you to communicate with your spirit helpers to fill in any "missing links", but this would take a great deal of time which we don't have, since we're trying to get these stories out as quickly as possible.
You can be sure that we're thankful for each story, and so are a whole lot of other folks around the world. So keep mining those jewels! We love you!
Tip: Please ID your "spirit story" files. Include the name of the story, the name of the person who received the story, your location, and any other relevant information.
love 'n' life
-- by Marv and Misty
Q: My husband and I have very different personalities. One of the ways this is manifest is in how we show affection to one another. I like to express my love by doing physical things -- giving little presents or making cards for him now and then, etc. I've been seeing, though, that unconsciously one of the main reasons I do this is because that's what I would like for him to do for me! (You know, like you think of what you would most like him to do for you and do that for him?) He appreciates these things, but doesn't feel the same need as I do for these little gestures of affection.
I've read that you shouldn't try to change your mate, but should just accept him or her the way they are. This is just a small part of our lives, but these little things do mean a lot to me. What should I do? If it's just not a part of someone's personality to remember or think of things like that, should I just ask the Lord to help me not to desire it, or should I try to encourage him and help him to become more like that?
A: The uniqueness of your husband or wife's personality, character, charm and love for the Lord (and you!) is probably what attracted you to them in the first place. So should you try to change your mate's personality? -- Generally speaking, no. That's better left in the Lord's hands. Of course, there are parts of each of our personalities that could no doubt use improvement. So don't take this to mean that you shouldn't honestly (and sweetly) share what you're thinking along these lines with your mate.
Couples who have successfully shared the majority of their lives together often say that the secret to their happiness was found in learning to accept their partner as they are. From there, they were able to discover and appreciate all the wonderful things about them, rather than looking at the few qualities they lacked, or the ways in which their personalities and likes differed.
Undoubtedly you will find that there is a thing or two you hold very dear, or appreciate greatly, that your mate doesn't share your interest in. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with your mate, or with you. That doesn't mean that they love you any less, even though you might think, "If my husband (or wife) really loved and cared about me, I'm sure they would know how much I would appreciate it if they did such-and-such." Ninety-nine percent of the time, that's a wrong assumption. They may not know all your likes or dislikes, or remember all the little ways in which you like their affection to be presented to you.
The wisest thing to do is to look on the bright side of things. Take a minute to reflect on the wonderful qualities your husband or wife possesses. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and remember all the ways in which your mate shows his or her love and affection to you.
Taking the example given above, while the husband in question may not be the world's greatest outward romanticist, he most likely says "I love you" in many other ways. It's fairly common for women to be more sentimental and romantically inclined than men. Women like to be given flowers, love notes and cards, with tender words that show that they are remembered and needed by their husband or lover. While most men appreciate these things also, they usually appreciate their wife's support, loyalty, love, understanding, encouragement and admiration more than these physical tokens that women desire.
One of the ways men most often demonstrate their love and affection toward the woman they love is by helping her physically: carrying heavy things for her, bringing her a chair, fixing something that is broken, taking the baby for a while, providing and caring for her, and generally making sure that things are taken care of and running smoothly. From the man's point of view, these things are the most important and needful things, therefore it translates into a powerful way to show his love and care. This care and protection often supplies much of the emotional support that a wife and mother needs as well.
So keep this in mind, girls, when you're wishing your guy would express his love in "your language." See if you can't both learn to appreciate the ways in which the other is showing their love and affection for you. Take some time in a casual and fun setting to talk about your likes and dislikes, and how you like affection. -- Then love and have fun!
Tip: Men, find out what that "special little thing" is that turns your woman's key. -- Then do it for her on occasion! What might seem trivial or unimportant to you may mean the world to her. When you see her eyes sparkle and her smile light up the room, you will have found yet another secret to happy living with the one you love!
open forum
-- Law of Love
-- If stepping out to share with others is (or was) hard for you, what gives (or gave) you the faith to take the first step?
-- What does it take to be able to happily continue to meet the needs of those you don't have a mutual attraction to?
-- What benefits or blessings have you received in sharing with others -- even in instances where you might not have been so attracted to them?
-- What should "being loyal to your mate" mean in the Family?
-- How can we ensure that everyone's needs for love, companionship and affection are met? What's your part?
-- What do you consider to be the main obstacles to more loving sharing in our Homes?
In the Family we have single brothers and sisters, and I believe that they all appreciate love and knowing that someone loves them (like everyone in the Family, ha!).
One single brother mentioned to me that in one Home he was in, he asked a sister if he could spend time with her, and never got a reply. I do understand that when you are a single woman, there is a chance of getting pregnant, but I do believe that the Lord really blesses singles when they are willing to help each other, even if they don't go all the way. I don't mean only the sisters, but the brothers too.
-- single mom with three children, Europe
I wholeheartedly agree with the Law of Love and think it's great when it's practiced in the right attitude. However, I've seen a lot of married YA/SGA guys (some with a couple of kids) "practicing the Law of Love," who don't seem to care much or ask their wife how she feels about it. When I asked one about having some iota of loyalty and/or conscience, he said, "Don't you know about the Law of Love?" Sure I do, but when I see them with practically everyone but their wife, I start to wonder what marriage is for anyhow. -- Just to say you're more experienced?! I imagine that if you're married it's probably because you're in love with the person, otherwise, why tie the knot? Maybe you're not in love anymore, but as long as you're married, you still have certain responsibilities to your mate.
I've known other cases where they were a great couple and they also practiced the Law of Love, but they both agreed to it, rather than the wife finding out through someone else down the line. Just because the Family is different in this aspect doesn't mean that you don't have any commitment to your mate. The Law of Love is not supposed to hurt anyone, neither the wife nor the husband.
-- unmarried male (17), Europe
As simple as it sounds, I've found the single biggest obstacle to sharing in the Family is the lack of available space in most Homes! Most every Home I've been in for some time has a large number of people in every bedroom, whether singles or large families, someone sleeping on the living room couch, etc.
Also, since "Go for the Gold," I have on several occasions met brothers who did not want to share unless I was willing to go all the way. They were also unwilling to use a condom. They felt they would have difficulty reaching an orgasm if they had to stop at mutual masturbation or use a condom; yet, if a pregnancy were to result, they were also not willing to take responsibility for the child. TTL, these brothers have been the exception rather than the rule, but I feel this is not according to the spirit of the "Go for the Gold" Letter.
-- a longtime single adult woman, USA
Unselfish love is the key to be able to happily meet the needs of those you aren't attracted to. I kind of treat it the same way with someone that I'm attracted to, as opposed to someone that I'm not. Making the other person happy is what gives me the greatest pleasure. Even if I'm attracted to someone, if they're not enjoying it, then I can't really enjoy it either. Also, feeling appreciated makes it easier. When you show love to those you're not so attracted to, it's important not to come across like, "You know, I'm really making a sacrifice here!" For me, that is almost worse than receiving no affection at all.
-- R. (male, 21)
I don't think people in the Family have lost the vision of sacrificial sharing. However, due to the immaturity of some teenagers who are desperately trying to appear to be cool, there seems to be this attitude: "Oh, he/she is not cool enough, so I will have nothing to do with him/her."
Touching the subject of loyalty: I am all for sacrificial sharing, as long as both are in agreement, just like the Charter says. Look at Mama and Peter! It almost makes me cry when I read Mama's letters to Peter, urging him to give the Lord's love to others. All this baloney about not sharing with others is not what the Family is all about. Sure, it hurts, but that is why it is sacrificial. "I will not give unto the Lord that which costs me nothing" (2Sa.24:24).
-- Timothy Adams (22), Ukranian national
I must say that before I got married, I wasn't the best sample of living the Law of Love. I know I hurt many boys through my lack. However, as I've grown, matured, had children and have learned more about love, I see that it was selfish of me to not reach out and care about someone in need. It wouldn't have taken much -- except a little humility, hey!
Speaking from a girl's point of view, besides the fact that girls can be a little selfish, most of them are looking for something long-term. Usually sex is not just to fill a physical need but it's quite a big deal emotionally. Then there are all the thoughts that go through a girl's mind: pregnancy, falling in love, potential future husband, etc. This is not to say that we girls should always view sex this way. We should spend time with guys because there is a need for love, sex and affection without all the strings attached.
So hang in there, boys -- love is just around the corner and the right girl is soon to come into your life. In the meantime, I pray for you, that love will find you and the Lord will supply someone to be His love for you and that the famine will end.
-- female (21), Taiwan
It's so sweet and giving how Mama encourages Peter to show real love to the sisters. I was wondering why it seems that recently there has been less sharing in the Homes, and between Homes too. Is it that the mothers are not desirous of getting pregnant again, having already many children? Or because by the time the evening comes around, the day has taken its toll on the body? Being a man, I may look at things differently, but I recall times when there was more sharing, and consequently, less division and more mutual understanding!
-- adult man, Turkey
I have been learning a lot recently regarding jealousy, being secure in my mate's love, and learning to share him with others. Since the Summit meeting, we have begun sharing more with others. I've been amazed at how much easier it's been for me most of the time. I still have little battles here and there, but I can testify it's 100% easier for me to let him go. I've even felt a special joy and fulfillment in sharing him.
Often in the past when I would be having a jealousy trial, my mate would start correcting me for it. However, when I was recently going through it a bit after he had shared with someone, he put his arms around me and told me how much he loved and wanted me -- and boy, that did the trick! My trial was suddenly gone, and I felt secure and loved!
I now see the Lord's wonderful plan in the publishing of "Mama's Love Story," as we all needed to learn a lot more about love and sacrificial sharing and caring. He started with you, and now it's spread in many ways to all of us! Thank you, Mama, for sharing the Summit notes with us! I felt it was like a marriage counseling class, and it did me a lot of good!
-- a married woman (SGA), Europe
If someone is married and their relationship is weak, it seems the chances for one mate to fall in love with someone else can be quite high. But in such a case, wouldn't it be better for that "someone else" to hold their horses, instead of getting involved with a married person? So much is at stake; it can lead to the breaking up of a family and can take daddies or mommies away from some sweet kids -- yet it does happen in the Family! Some marriages are difficult enough as is, and an additional lover coming into the picture doesn't necessarily work wonders for the marriage.
The Law of Love in such cases would be for the potential lover to counsel with their shepherds before getting involved any further than having an occasional date. I think the Family needs more counsel and direction in these areas, and closer shepherding, too. Such new relationships need to be closely monitored, and according to the Law of Love, need to have the okay of the whole body. I tend to think that the shepherding side of the Law of Love is a bit neglected and might need to be re-enforced.
-- adult man, Europe
It's hard for me to see people go without the love, affection and sex that they need, as I know what it's like and would never wish it on anyone, if I could help it. I believe in my heart that in our Family it doesn't need to be the case, if we could all somehow reach out with the Lord's love in spite of ourselves. When I read in the Grapevine about different ones that have said people don't want to share with them, and yet they are fighting on in spite of the difficulty, it makes me feel like, "Oh, sweetheart, if only I could get my hands on you, I would love to love you with all I've got!" -- And I do mean it, and wish I could! (Watch out! Ha!)
However, I've also had my share of blues and battles about sharing with someone that I don't have the desire for, as far as sex goes. But because I can't bear to see them go without and because I know it makes Jesus happy, and is what He has asked of me personally, I want to do it, come hell or high water, no matter what trials I may have to endure to do it. I won't remember those battles in the next life anyway, and oftentimes I think when I get up There I'll kick myself thinking, "You withheld loving in that instance 'cause of some silly little feeling!?" -- To me it's not worth missing out on the Lord's blessing, love and even rewards, because of how I felt, or some pride and unyieldedness; not to mention the good it does in the other's life -- their fulfillment and resultant fruitfulness in their service for Jesus. (And the Lord always seems to repay me by giving me sweet and wonderful treats in return -- that usually leave me floored at His goodness!)
>> The thing that has helped me the most when I'm having a difficult time sharing with someone, is hearing from the Lord about it first. Then during our dates, when I'm hit with battles, I can claim the Lord's Words in my mind and heart, and I've found that to be the ultimate power for me.
>> Loving Jesus when sharing with someone helps remind me how I want to be Jesus for them, as well as getting filled with Jesus' love for me, and that gives me the strength and even joy when doing it. I've heard of people getting "burned out" on sex. -- And I can see how that could be. But I've found that I can't get "burned out" or be completely unable or powerless to share with someone when I make Jesus part of it. He keeps it alive and vibrant! It's also a comfort to know that I don't have to leave my Husband when going to share with others; He comes and does it with me!
>> It helps if I'm able to have a "fun" date from time to time (a date with someone I enjoy being with). It helps fill that need and gives me greater umph to share love with another.
>> Praying desperately before each and every time for Jesus' love is a must!
>> Sometimes drinking wine can really help, but yet other times it gets me on the wrong side, and I end up wiping away tears in some discreet way! So I have to be prayerful about whether or not to drink.
>> Having special times with just Jesus and me is always strengthening. Once when I was just generally feeling out of it, and had an unsought for date planned that night, I was worried that I was going to freak out or not be able to handle it. Jesus then showed me to stop my work early and have some special time fellowshipping with Him right before my date. So when 9:00 came, I put up the "do not disturb sign," poured myself some wine I had saved, sang love songs to Jesus, listened to some fresh words of encouragement He had for me, and spent time talking to Him as a friend. I got tanked up on Jesus, and had His Words to encourage me on.
>> Sometimes I go through the biggest battles after I've returned to my room, for some reason! I get hit with feeling so alone in my love quest. It draws me to throw myself on the Lord alone, and ask for His help. But to avoid the Enemy getting in on my weaker side, Jesus gave me the idea to plan to do something fun afterwards. When a new issue of Heaven's Library came out, I planned to read it when I got back to my room. It was a victory! I had something fun and feeding to look forward to. Or sometimes I'll get a little snack, or read my special quote book. Doing this helps me avoid those "I feel spent and like such a selfish person" blues.
Well-meaning and caring ones have told me, "You don't really have to have dates with So-and-so if it's difficult. Why don't you just stop?" But then when I ask Jesus about it, and He tells me that He wants me to keep giving to them, I have to be true to Him and do it, against what seems to be the logic of others or even my natural mind and personal wishes. -- And then I see the Lord's blessings in my life, rewards, lessons learned, greater closeness with Him, their happiness and fulfillment, and I know it's right. (And between you and me, I know in my heart that I actually would be the most miserable if I were to not share the love. As seeing others in want, partly because of my selfishness, really bums me out!)
I believe in this Family, and with all my heart I want to do my part to make it be the fervent Family of love that Jesus is counting on us to be. We each have to individually choose to live the love! Though I've made my choice, it's the kind of choice that I have to make each and every day! (And just in case the mistaken thought was placed, sex isn't all a chore for me!)
-- Korie (23), WS
now that's funny!
Confidential opinions on love
-- from kids
* "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae (9)
* "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel (8)
* "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn (7)
* "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -- Brian (7)
* "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy (8)
* "All of a sudden, the people get movie fever so they can sit together in the dark." -- Shem (8)
* "Yesterday I kissed a girl in a private place. ... We were behind a tree." -- Carey (7)
* "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina (10)
* "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave (8)
Surefire ways to make someone fall in love with you
* "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del (6)
* "Shake your hips and hope for the best." -- Camille (9)
* "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart (9)
* "Don't do things like have smelly green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo (9)
-- courtesy of David, EURCRO
thanking ...
(From the Heaven's Library editors:) Our latest Heaven's Library story contributors: Tommy French (TC, Thailand), Sara Smile (Ukrainian, MM Home, Hungary), Ruby Happy (Moldova), Peter Attack (IA02), Mike YP (Ivy Home, ASCRO), Gabe Iowa (Japan), Daniel Pen (Live-out, PACRO), Dan and Joy (USA) and Crystal (of Luke, India).
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Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family