Ref Category __MARRG: Relationship with Spouse

         See also CONV: Conviction/Compromise, HONB: Openness; Communicating Openly; Sharing Heart; Good Communication, LOV: Love (General), LOVB: Love for Others, REL: Relations with People (General); Cooperation, RELA: Human Nature & Behaviour, RELB: Manpleasing; Fear & Worship of Man, RELC: Respect/Familiarity
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         MARRG ML#49:12 I BELIEVE ONE OF THE GREATEST ASSETS TO A GOOD MARRIAGE IS HONESTY ALONG WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR! Don't hide anything from each other! Share all things, & bear all things, & take no account of evil, & be able to laugh at the funny parts!

         MARRG ML#49:16 MY WIFE, OF COURSE! Of course, she may be, like the man who said he knew his wife was an angel, because she was always up in the air about something, always harping on something, & never had an earthly thing to wear! Are you that kind of angel? I hope not! God forbid, & help you to love him, be honest with him, & have a sense of humour!

         MARRG ML#49:24 THE SUPERIORITY OF A WIFE OVER HER HUSBAND IN SPIRITUAL THINGS, in this day & age is not rare!

         MARRG ML#49:25 DON'T STAND IN GOD'S WAY, EVEN IF IT'S GOD IN YOUR WIFE, OR YOU'LL BE SORRY, & SO WILL SHE, FOR SHE MAY HAVE TO GO ON WITH OUT YOU, AS MY MOTHER DID, RATHER THAN FAIL GOD, & GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE, IN THESE EXCEPTIONAL CASES, TO SUPPLY HER WITH A BETTER CO-WORKER, WHO WILL ACKNOWLEDGE HER GIFTS, GIVE WAY TO HER MINISTRY, & DO EVERYTHING HE CAN TO HELP HER PERFORM IT, AS I DID, FOR I TOOK HIS PLACE! Don't fail God, so that He has to let someone take yours!

         MARRG ML#49:28 GOD NEEDS EVERY OUNCE OF TALENT THAT BOTH OF YOU HAVE! Don't either hinder the other! Obey God! Work together! Know your limitations! Use all your talents!

         MARRG ML#52:11 THANK GOD FOR UNDERSTANDING WIVES. THEY CAN BE A TREMENDOUS ASSET TO YOU BOSSES; GOD BLESS'M, because they know the boss needs more help than they can give him, to help carry his heavy load; so they shouldn't object to a few additional helpmeets--& the smart wives don't. That's how they keep their husbands! They understand the role of a secretary & her absolute necessity in his business, especially the Lord's Business; so if you love him, get him all the help he needs! Amen?

         MARRG ML#52:14 ANOTHER THING THE MALE NEEDS IS NOT ONLY A GOOD BOSS & A GOOD SECRETARY, BUT A GOOD & UNDERSTANDING BOSS' WIFE--UTTERLY DEVOTED TO HER HUSBAND'S WORK, & THE LORD'S SERVICE, INCLUDING HIS SECRETARY. They should be the best friends, good sisters in the Lord. This is very important, or it could wreck all of your relationships, including your relationship with the Lord! Amen.

         MARRG ML#52:17 TO HELP BEAR HIS BURDENS, SHARE HIS LOADS, ENCOURAGE HIS FAITH, inspire his confidence, & even help him to believe in himself, to trust & know that God is using him, & to prove this to him when he's down, even when he feels like he's failed & feels like quitting.

         MARRG ML#58:14 A COUNTRY WHICH PERMITS ALMOST NO CONTACT BETWEEN THE SEXES BEFORE MARRIAGE HAS RESULTED IN MANY MISERABLE & UNHAPPY MARRIAGES, because they did not learn to know each other, love each other, or work together, much less live together, before marriage!

         MARRG ML#58:15 THE MORE YOU LIVE TOGETHER AS BROTHER & SISTER, working, studying, eating, relaxing, & playing together, etc. before marriage, the better you will know each other, & know whether you are suited to each other, & really want to live together, or not. Because most of marriage is not sex, but the mere living together of daily life in all of its activities...I'm all for marriage!--You oughtta know that by now! I think it's the greatest life in the world outside of serving Jesus--& thank God we can have both!

         MARRG ML#123:3 IF YOUR COMMUNICATION WITH GOD IS GOOD, YOU WILL HAVE EXCELLENT COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR HUSBAND, because God is the central exchange that makes the connection. Without good communication with your Lord there cannot be much good communication between you. because without good communication with God, you will be a God-damn, self-righteous, stuck-on-yourself, critical pig!

         MARRG ML#123:22 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR HUSBAND FUCKING YOU, GIRLS! It won't hurt your saintliness! But it will shoot holes in your ego & in your pride! "Benevolence"--Bene volence: good moving!--Begins with you guys!--Means some love-making & some good old-fashioned necking & kissing! Start it off with some good moving lovemaking!

         MARRG ML#123:25 BUT MARRIAGE IS A LOT MORE THAN JUST FUCKING! There's a higher love--Agape! Eros is a small part of it. But breakdown of eros means there is something wrong with philos or agape.

         MARRG ML#123:31 BETWEEN HUSBAND & WIFE, THERE SHOULD BE NO SECRETS; there should be communication! Love her as much as you love your own body! Are you as good to your wife as to yourself? I don't mean just fucking! "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that (she) should do to you, do ye even so to (her)." That is not always easy! You would like them to do it for you, so you will do it for them! Are you doing it boys?

         MARRG ML#123:36 MARRIAGE IS A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP, or else you could simply have stayed good friends! Marriage is a sharing of all things! It is the most satisfying, most strengthening, & most lasting relationship on this earth! You share the parts of your body as well as your thoughts!

         MARRG ML#151:53 Ask God for His love for each other, or you'll never make it--as a marriage or a missionary! Only the love of Christ can constrain you! (Matt.5:44; I Jn.4:19; Phil.4:7; 2 Cor.5:14)

         MARRG ML#154:62 MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN SEX OR FRIENDSHIP, OR EVEN A BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP FOR THE LORD'S WORK! It is the most intimate, humbling, loving, & self-sacrificial relationship between human beings in all of life. No greater love hath any man than this--that a man lay down his life for his friends! (Jn.15:13) This is love, real love, true love--the willingness of a husband to sacrifice himself for his wife, the eagerness of a wife to lay down her life for her husband! This is supernatural love, divine love, God's love, more than human!

         MARRG ML#154:63 MARRIED LOVE IS NOT JUST SEX, AFFECTION, & ROMANCE! Although it is all of these, it must be more if it is to last & be an enduring relationship for the glory of God--an example of His own relationship with you! It must be a God-given love & a spirit of self-sacrifice in which each prefers the happiness of the other to his own! This is true love, the only kind the lasts!

         MARRG ML#154:64 IN MARRIED LOVE, THERE SHOULD ALSO BE A MEASURE OF RESPECT & EVEN ADMIRATION FOR EACH OTHER, if possible--a mutual recognition & appreciation of each other's talents & strong points as well as weaknesses. It's hard to love someone you don't respect or admire for something. You can have a loving pity & compassion for them & desire to help them, & this is all a part of love. But if there is no respect, no appreciation of good qualities, too much giving & not enough receiving, it can greatly strain the relationship! It takes something more than sexual prowess to satisfy the heart!

         MARRG ML#154:73 You've got to be honest & open with each other!--Talk, converse, communicate, ask questions, give answers! Different women are pleased in different ways!--Some like it one way, some another! Find out what she likes, & give it to her!--Find out what he likes, & sock it to him! It's just as simple as that!

         MARRG ML#250:6 IT WOULD BE VERY WISE FOR YOU TO REMEMBER THAT, TO CONTINUE TO INTEREST HIM & ATTRACT HIS ATTENTION & his humanly constantly wavering & waning occupation with your physical charms, you must count on keeping his love drawn toward you the vast majority of the time with more magnetism of the mind & inspiration of the spirit & that irresistibly charming holy-of-holies of your heart, that intangible magical something called real genuine love, that can be manifest every moment of every day, continually being revealed in all its splendour!

         MARRG ML#250:25 A man can be in love with a woman's mind, or he can be in love with her sentiments. He can be in love with her spiritual reactions, he can be in love with her emotional companionship, all of which have little or nothing to do with her physical body & their sex life! These definitely have at least 90% more to do with love than pure physical sex or sexual gratification.

         MARRG ML#250:26 REAL LOVE IS A SPIRITUAL THING. It's not merely physical, but it is also manifested in the physical, but not in a mere jump-on-jump-off relationship! It's mostly manifested in the spiritual & mental companionship & compatibility of likes & dislikes & things & habits that you have in common. Even the few things you don't have in common can sometimes be interesting & amusing.

         MARRG ML#250:36 SO THE WOMAN WHO DESIRES TO HOLD HER MAN HAD BETTER SEEK SOME BETTER WAY OF HOLDING HIM THAN MERE SEXUAL DESIRE & sexual craving & physical excitement. As a young man seeking a wife, my mother told me not to put the physical features first in my quest, since these are fairly standard equipment with most women & well furnished on most models. But rather, in a woman look for something more than mere flesh & fair face, voluptuous bosoms, sexy hips & pretty legs, because most women are made by the Lord to have all these pleasing assets, with a good deal of variety. But seek something more in a woman than that, she said!

         MARRG ML#250:37 MOST OF ALL SEEK THAT INDEFINABLE THING CALLED PERSONALITY, that sparkle, that thing we used to call "it" back in the 20's.--Seek not only the vivaciousness of the flesh, but the liveliness of the spirit, the fascination of the mind, the irresistibility of her heart & its genuine unselfish love, & the greatness & magnanimity of her soul, that spiritual part of her--her whole composite personality make up--which, in turn, can only be satisfied by the spiritual in you, & the absorbing interest of your mind, & the warmness of your heart, & the thrill of your soul! The things of this earth can satisfy your body, but God has made you so that your soul or heart or spirit can only be satisfied by the things which are spiritual & the things of the spirit.

         MARRG ML#250:43 THE MAN OR WOMAN WHO SEEKS ONLY FLESHLY GRATIFICATION or to merely gratify the flesh of the mate alone, will never find complete satisfaction or happiness or be able to make themselves completely happy. You must give & it shall be given unto you. Love begets love. I knew a woman once who was always seeking a new lover, a new love, but never finding one that satisfied or lasted, because she was always seeking to get love, to receive love, to be loved. So when I suggested to her that perhaps she needed to learn how to give love & to love unselfishly for the benefit & happiness of another, after years of searching, this struck her as an entirely new thought that had never occurred to her before! She went out soon & found what she was looking for all the time by trying to find someone whom she could make happy by giving her love to them.

         MARRG ML#250:45 IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY & MAKE A MATE HAPPY, seek the satisfaction of the spirit in both of you in God! "For the fashion of this world passeth away & the lust thereof, but he (& the love) that doeth the will of God abideth forever!"--1Cor.7:31; 1Jn.2:17.--Long live Love!--Love one another! Love is God!--God is love!

         MARRG ML#258:1 IN MARRIAGE YOU DIE TO SELF BUT YOU FIND NEW LIFE.

         MARRG ML#259:12 YOU'RE NOT TO WITHHOLD YOURSELVES FROM EACH OTHER EXCEPT WITH COMMON CONSENT: Both of you must agree to it.

         MARRG ML#259:54 CONTRACEPTIVES ARE ABSOLUTELY UNSCRIPTURAL! You are not becoming one when you do that! This is "that which is against nature" according to God's Word.

         MARRG ML#259:149 REAL LOVE IS PREFERRING THE HAPPINESS OF YOUR MATE TO YOUR OWN! "In honour preferring one another." This brings true happiness to all.--Including God!--Believe it or not, He wants you to be happy!--That's one reason He created sex & marriage, for your pleasure, enjoyment, satisfaction, companionship, fellowship, team work, sharing & children.--And that's the most unselfish part about sex: children!--Yet they are & can be the most rewarding & enjoyable of all!--The real climax to all sexual fulfillment, if you love them & train them the way they should go. Fucking my wife caused a Revolution!--My children!--Or you wouldn't even be here!--Amen?

         MARRG ML#292:74 "IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THEM MALE & FEMALE!--Male & female created He them!"--"And these two shall become one flesh!" So Lord, that's the only way they'll ever be truly satisfied & the only way they'll ever be truly united, when they're united normally & physically as a man & a wife should be. That will be the most satisfying relationship & the most lasting because that's what You intended for it to be!

         MARRG ML#647:47 THE SCRIPTURE EXPLICITLY FORBIDS YOU TO WITHHOLD YOURSELVES FROM EACH OTHER, explicitly! So any woman withholding herself from her husband is breaking the law of love & the law of the New Testament, I Corinthians 7th Chapter, Verses 3:5.

         MARRG ML#685:27 SOME OF YOU GUYS HE HAD TO GET MARRIED TO TEACH YOU A LITTLE RESPONSIBILITY. Some of you girls to teach you what real love is, not just lovemaking. Real love is to fulfill the part that God created you to play--that of a slave & a servant & helpmeet to your husband. I'm sorry girls, but that dreamboat was not made for you, you were made for him! "For the man was not made for the woman, but the woman for the man." (I Cor.11:9) I don't know how popular this is going to be with the girls. You were made to help him, he wasn't made for you; you were made for his benefit, he wasn't made for your benefit.

         MARRG ML#685:52 SEE, THE TROUBLE WITH MOST GIRLS: THEY HAVE A VERY EXALTED IDEA OF WHAT IT IS IT TO BE A WIFE--they want to be on a pedestal somewhere & to be adored & worshipped. I want to tell you something right now, you've got a rude awakening coming: Marriage is the most humiliating things you'll ever get into--when you really hit the floor! Take it from those who know, you really hit the floor.

         MARRG ML#745:11 SO YOU TEND & KEEP YOUR WIFE. SHE'S YOUR LITTLE GARDEN, the Bible says, & it's your business to tend & to keep her, your mate or whatever you want to call her. I prefer to have a love affair. One way to keep an eternal love affair is never get married, then you're just always lovers!

         MARRG ML#952-08:25 IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR OWN FAMILY & tell your wife what to do & tell her where to get off when she's so far off the track, tell her where to get on, then we can't trust you.

         MARRG ML#997:17 THE DANGER IS WHEN YOU GET YOUR MIND DWELLING ON THE BAD TRAITS. The Lord says, "Choose the good & eschew the evil". (1Pe.3:11) He says, "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things!" (Phil.4:8)--That applies to your mate as well. Try to remind yourself constantly of his or her good qualities, the good things, & try not to think about the bad things.

         MARRG ML#1155:35 YOU WOMEN BETTER KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU CAN NOT ONLY BE THE MAKING OF A MAN, BUT YOU CAN ALSO BE HIS UNDOING!

         MARRG ML#1254:6 Should a marriage continue even if one of the partners feels he or she isn't romantically in love with the other? (Romance is nice, & Maria & I are still in love after 13 years!--But what's it got to do with family responsibilities & your Home duties & God's Work? Mating is a hard job as well as lotsa fun!--And it's your job to make it work!--As your duty to God, family & others!--1Cor.10:13! Love means sacrifice as well as selfish pleasure!

         MARRG ML#1361:73 (FOR MARIA:) "THE FEAR OF HER HUSBAND is the beginning of wisdom."

         MARRG ML#1376:7 WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING & you have your morning cuddle with your mate, or whoever, one of the children maybe or someone, what do you do first thing in the morning? (Family: Praise & thank Him.) Yes, that's what we do, don't we? And pray for the day too. What's the last thing we do at night? We thank Him for a good day & we pray for a good night etc. You should always pray together as you go to bed, praise & pray together.

         MARRG ML#1395:14 I THINK MARRIAGE SHOULD BE AS EQUAL AS POSSIBLE, AS SHARING AS POSSIBLE. I don't think the man should do all the ordering & bossing around & make all the decisions. The best marriages I know of are like ours: We talk things over & try to agree together. Only under the most very disagreeable & rarest occasions have I ever had to say, "Well, now you just do what I say because I told you to do it, that's all, whether you understand it or like it or not."--That's a very rare, rare occasion.

         MARRG ML#1395:15 MOST OF THE TIME WE MAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER, WE TALK TOGETHER, WE PRAY TOGETHER, WE LOVE TOGETHER, WE DISCUSS TOGETHER & THEN WE DECIDE TOGETHER & agree together. Sometimes we cuss & discuss, but we always wind up agreeing somehow. And that's the way marriage should be, especially the way it should be in the Family, amen?--GBYA!

         MARRG ML#1458:74 QUESTION: DAD SAYS IN THE G.O.E. SERIES, THAT IN THE LATTER DAYS, "THAT WOMEN & CHILDREN SHALL BEAR RULE OVER THEM". Or is it still that the husband is still the head of the whole marital body? Where is the balance? ANSWER: "In Christ there is neither male nor female" (Gal.3:28), but in case of a difference of opinion, the husband is the head "Even as Christ is the Head of the Church". (1Cor.11:3) Outside in the World it's obvious the women & kids are taking over!

         MARRG ML#1524:68 YOU MUST REALLY NEED EACH OTHER, & KNOW IT, FOR WANTING TO MEET EACH OTHER'S NEEDS IS A GREAT PART OF LOVE: To help her where she's weak, to lift him where he's not strong, to inspire each other, encourage each other, & share each other, even when it hurts & costs something!

         MARRG ML#1536:4 WE DON'T DISAGREE ON ANY OF THE BASICS & FUNDAMENTALS, NOT EVEN IN DOCTRINE OR THEOLOGY OR PRACTICE OR METHODS! We are usually almost entirely in total agreement on everything, & our minds & hearts work together as one--which is as it should be in any team, particularly mates. "These two shall become one!" (Gen.2:24.) And if you've ever noticed some elderly couples that have been married or lived together a long time, they even begin to look alike!

         MARRG ML#1566:130 IT WAS OUR REVOLUTIONARY RULE THAT PROSPECTIVE MATES LIVE & WORK TOGETHER IN THE SAME HOME FOR SIX MONTHS BEFORE MATING, to be sure it's real Love, the Lord & good for His work! Is that less needed now?

         MARRG ML#1643:151 GOD'S LOVE CAN HELP YOU LOVE ANYONE--ESPECIALLY FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S SAKE!--Unless your mate doesn't love the Lord or His Work! In which case, you can let'm depart! (1Cor.7:10-15)

         MARRG ML#1888:4 IT SURE IS NICE TO HAVE A GOOD WIFE BY YOUR SIDE THAT ALWAYS HELPS YOU WHEN YOU NEED IT!

         MARRG ML#1909:14 OFTEN IN A MARRIAGE ONE MATE IS GOING TO BE WEAKER THAN THE OTHER.

         MARRG ML#1922:3 They say that when a marriage goes on the rocks, the rocks are usually in the bed! I'd say about 9/10 of all marriage & sex problems are problems because people won't be honest & humble & ask for what they want! Now that's something pretty important to know, right? Get it out! Get it up! Get it in too! PTL!

         MARRG ML#1932:9 REAL LOVE IS NOT ALL FEELINGS & most of us are grown up enough that we should know that by now, but we do get tested sometimes in these situations. You can still love someone very deeply but not have an orgasm & go weak in the knees every time you come near them or wilt just because they pass by you! To think that such exaggerated feelings have to accompany being in love is a very mistaken idea that we probably have all grown up with from the time we were little!

         MARRG ML#1953:6 YOU CAN'T MAKE OR FORCE SOMEBODY TO LOVE YOU. You've got to inspire that love.--And you've got to do it by becoming the kind of man she can respect & admire, & the kind of man she wants you to be for the Lord.

         MARRG ML#1953:7 SACRIFICE HAS BEEN THE PRIMARY REQUISITE FOR LOVE IN OUR FAMILY! That's the kind of person she will love. But a selfish possessive love doesn't work in our kind of Family. She'll explode & hate you & feel like killing you just to get her freedom! But if you'll earn her respect by showing you are putting God first, she'll love you in the Spirit, & this in turn leads to love in the flesh. Don't expect this to happen overnight. You'll have to prove yourself--it may take a long time. Leave it all in God's hands!

         MARRG ML#2023:14 THE IDEAL OR FIRST BEST SITUATION IS ONE WHERE ALL THREE WOULD BE ABLE TO PRAY ABOUT IT ALL TOGETHER & BE ABLE TO TALK FREELY & UNINHIBITED ABOUT THE PROBLEM AMONGST THE THREE OF THEM WITH NO EMBARRASSMENT & ALL THREE FEELING IT'S THEIR PROBLEM UNITEDLY TO BE OVERCOME BY ALL THREE. The next best situation is where you can still be honest even though some people feel a little awkward or a little embarrassed or inhibited because of your problems. You feel bad because you have the problem & you know it's causing them a problem, & they feel bad because they know that it's causing you to feel bad. But you can still love each other & everybody get along all right, even though you may still feel a bit awkward.

         MARRG ML#2135:5 "A WISE WOMAN BUILDETH HER HOUSE BUT A FOOLISH ONE PLUCKETH IT DOWN WITH HER HANDS." (Prov.14:1) That's such a wise saying & so deep. It's too bad women don't learn what it means. She tears it down with her own hands & her own fears & her own wilfulness through a lack of trust & faith in the Lord. The marriage relationship usually starts off as love but then ends with dishonour & disobedience. I think the secret is lack of faith & lack of trust in not just the man but in the Lord. It's not resting in the Lord & trusting that God is going to have His way no matter what your husband does. The Lord's not going to let him go too far on the wrong track without stopping him.

         MARRG ML#2148:4 IF THE LORD HADN'T MADE THESE GALS SO GORGEOUS & IRRESISTIBLE, & SEX SUCH A DRIVING FORCE IN YOU THAT YOU'VE JUST GOTTA HAVE IT, I DOUBT IF ANYBODY WOULD HAVE HAD SEX! How many people have sex just because they want children? That's the Lord's ultimate purpose in sex! The first purpose is to make you one. Did you ever see how old people that have been married for about 50 years begin looking like each other? The first purpose is that the two shall become one flesh, make you one. (Gen.2:24) There's even a sort of interchange of something there that makes you one, not only physically but spiritually.

         MARRG ML#2339:4 It almost seems like the most fruitful kind of relationships are those in which they are very close friends & work together well. When couples are close friends & get along & work together well, but are not overly dependent on each other, not too romantically involved with each other, but complement each other's ministries, these are the ones that have really done the best. In other words, they do well together, but if they were apart they would also do well. But because they do well together & complement each other, we don't want to separate them. But if they had to separate for the sake of the Work, they wouldn't have any problem with it, or at least not too much of a problem.

         MARRG ML#2339:5 Thank God for all of our couples who are not at each other's throats, or who are not so wrapped up in each other that they can't see anything else! Sometimes such couples worry because they aren't very romantically involved or "in love" with each other. But the fact is that they can usually do the Lord's work better that way. Sad to say, it seems like a good deal of our couples have a hard time finding the right balance.

         MARRG ML#2339:6 Of course, when a couple does love each other very much, they can be a good example to others who see such love. For example, when Marianne & Josiah were together, the personal care & love they had for each other was a good sample as far as a human relationship. But the problem was that it still wasn't balanced enough, because Marianne wasn't really dependent enough on the Lord. She didn't have to be so she wasn't. So the Lord had to break them up because He wanted her to grow up into a stronger leader, & He couldn't really do it until they were separated.

         MARRG ML#2339:11 Maybe this is more for leaders, this kind of thing, but I think that it's what the Lord is requiring of many of us now.--Or would like to require of us if we would yield to it. We've found by actual experience that people can be close work-mates & get a lot done for the Lord without having to be all romantically involved with each other. As I said, such involvement often distracts & detracts them from the most important thing.

         MARRG ML#2504:1 With this book we're simply trying to say, "Here's a way to make your relationships better." But you don't have to do all these things.

         MARRG ML#2504:4 Just don't worry about it! In this case, this whole book is mainly to help people who have relationships, like mommies & daddies who are already together & have children. It's to help them improve their relationship, but it doesn't mean that they have to start making love every day for an hour & spending hours & hours every day oohing & aahing over each other & having long, involved personal conversations all about how they're going to get better acquainted or whatever!

         MARRG ML#2504:6 Someone brought out that instead of starting with Jesus, others & you, most of its authors start with you & others or others & you. In other words, it largely leaves the Lord out except in the case of some of the chapters by religious writers. But it is their purpose to emphasise marriage, that's what they're writing about. Even the Christian writers aren't writing about the Lord & our spiritual life so much as about marriage. They're emphasising it & it looms large, & if you don't put it in the context of all of the rest of life, of course, it becomes the only thing you can see when you're reading it, because that's what they're talking about.

         MARRG ML#2504:9 But that doesn't mean that everybody who isn't married all of a sudden has to try to get it together with someone & make this Marriage Book their constant companion & spend hours poring over it to the exclusion of everything else! This book is not a command or even a suggestion for everybody to look for a mate & get into an ooey gooey romance where they'll forget the Lord's Work, forget other people & think only of themselves & working on their personal relationship, making it perfect, trying to totally fulfil all of each other's needs!

         MARRG ML#2504:10 If they do that, it's probably going to be to the hurt of the Lord's Work & to the hurt of others, because you simply don't have enough time for everything, something always has to suffer.--And in our Family, it's mostly been our marriages that have suffered. But we must continue to put the Lord's Work first, & if something's going to suffer a little neglect, it shouldn't be the Lord's Work, it may have to be our relationships with our mates, & even our children sometimes, sad to say. But we should always remember, that whatever we spend, He will repay (Lk.10:35), & the sacrifices will prove worth it in the end, PTL!

         MARRG ML#2504:11 However, recently we've had more emphasis on our children because they are the Lord's Work, & now is a time of special emphasis on them.--And emphasising our marriages can also strengthen our sample to our children, & even our relationships with others besides our mates. So there are a lot of advantages to having strong relationships as long as they're kept in the proper place & don't get out of proportion to all the other things we need to do.

         MARRG ML#2504:12 But I want to emphasise that it's not like we're promoting something new. We're just trying to strengthen the already existing relationships that are pretty much permanent, our mommies & daddies together with children that are supposed to stay together. We're just trying to give them some suggestions & things to help them to stay together a little better & in a little greater harmony & a little more happily.

         MARRG ML#2504:13 But we're not by any means saying everybody should go out & get married & spend all your nights reading this book together just concentrating on your relationship! We're not trying to promote anything new, we're just trying to strengthen the already existing structures, those that need to remain. Besides, this book has some very good pointers in it on communication & loving relations in general.

         MARRG ML#2504:16 In other words, they're not going to be spending any more time if they start putting their time into getting along a little better. If they're going to spend time fighting, why not spend time learning to get along instead? It's better that they spend happy time than fighting time with all the pain & emotional stress & problems that such conflict brings.

         MARRG ML#2504:19 Fighting, arguing & contention take a lot out of you, it's a very big emotional stress & strain. Even if it's not an all-out, knock-down drag-out fight, still, that tension & opposition can really worry you & take its toll.

         MARRG ML#2504:20 So why not take a little time learning to get along together & to be agreeable together & love each other a little bit more instead? Then you're not going to be expending all that energy negatively. All that to say, I don't think that it would take any more time for our couples to put some of this counsel into practice to help their marriages than it would for them to ignore it & keep having serious marital problems.

         MARRG ML#2556:6 But even the strongest of us have fleshly weaknesses that we succumb to now & then. The real test of our strength in the Lord--or of how much we are going to rely on His strength--is how much do we allow our personal weaknesses, temptations & battles to hinder or distract us from our job for Him?--In other words, how single-minded do we remain? For example, there are some people who can even handle a love relationship without it decreasing their fervor & dedication to the Lord's Work. In fact, if both members of such a relationship vow to put the Lord first in their lives, & consistently work on "seeking first the Kingdom of God," He usually not only allows it, but blesses it.

         MARRG ML#2589:13 I could almost add, regardless of whether they like each other or not!--Like the old Oriental custom. (Maria: Yes, that's true, but when they don't even like each other, it can really be Hell.) That's right, & that's why I'm not saying it. Of course, they should like each other. But they don't have to be crazily "in love" or super infatuated or have a great big crush & all that sort of thing.

         MARRG ML#2590:27 However, another reason we forbid it is because if some cute little teen teases & flirts & is able to steal a man's heart away, she is also usually guilty of taking his mind off the Lord's Work, off his job, off his wife & away from his children.--That's the way it is! That's what has happened in some cases.

         MARRG ML#2590:34 Secondly, do you want to be guilty of having a precious Christian man excommunicated, destroying his life & his work & ministry for the Lord, destroying his family, leaving his little kids without a daddy?--Not to mention hurting his wife, & if he's a leader, disillusioning & hurting his followers. All of that can happen just because you give in to a little game of flirting & playing & teasing & rubbing. Do you want to be guilty of all that? And of course, the Lord is going to hold you plenty guilty as well.

         MARRG ML#2620:54 The key to relationships or teamworks or any group of people working together is communication.

         MARRG MOM#35:ALL: ["HOW CAN YOU MEASURE LOVE?": EYE-OPENING CONCEPTS ON LOVE RELATIONSHIPS & KEEPING SIMPLE IN THE LOVE GOD GIVES FOR OTHERS & FROM OTHERS. (SEE 378 REFS)]

         MARRG MOM#35:11 IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP MANY TIMES YOU'RE MADLY "IN LOVE" FOR AWHILE, THEN YOUR FEELINGS CHANGE from being so concentrated constantly, passionately on sexual & physical feelings to a deeper, calmer but more steady love, but one which gives you room & time to do other things & think about other people, but still be firmly attached to each other, like one unit, being part of each other & operating a one entity.

         MARRG PTR#35:5 YOU'VE GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO THE POSITION RIGHT NOW THAT YOUR HAPPINESS & YOUR PEACE OF MIND & YOUR JOY ALL REVOLVES AROUND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MATE & it's not getting you anywhere! Because as long as that is where your treasure is, that's where your heart will be also! And if that's the main point in your life, then you're revolving around the wrong thing! The Lord said, "I will have no other gods before Me!"


Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family